无厘头玩家
这里是柯南。 Hey Conan O' Brien here.
我非常开心可以测评一款游戏《TONY HAWK专业滑板者5》 Very excited to review"TONY HAWK'S PRO SKATER 5"
这个游戏要9月29日才上PS4和XBOX ONE This game comes out September 29 on PS4 and XBOX ONE
所以很自然的会有人和我一起玩 Now, it makes sense that I'd be join
如果我要玩这个游戏，那么Tony Hawk他本人当然会和我一起 If I gonna play this game, by Tony Hawk himself.
当然还有嘻哈文化大佬 And of course hip-hop icon
LIl Wayne
没错，我们第一次见面。 -对啊。 Yeah, we meet first time. -Yeah.
我们是时候一起合作了。 -没错。 Yeah, it's about time we work together. -Exactly.
以这种方式。 -我多次尝试通过和你的工作室联系来找你 In this fashion. I tryna get into the studio with you many times.
噢可能是吧。 -然后他们挂我电话。 Oh yeah, probabaly. -And they hanged up on me.
好叭😂 Yeah.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Hahahahahahahaha
好叭，Tony额你们两个怎么认识的？你怎么... All right, Tony, ugh, how did you two come together? How did you..
和..和..Wayne... -额，大部分通过玩滑板。 and..and..Wayne... -Ugh, mostly through skateboarding.
所以你是个玩滑板的专家？ So you are a skateborder?
我玩滑板，但我不是专家。 I skate, but I am not a skate boarder.
你玩滑板受过伤吗？没有吗？ Have you been hurt on the skateboard? No?
你还好吗？哇哦！ You ok? Wow!
没错。 Yeah.
这是摔得吗？这看来是狠狠的摔了一跤。 Does this a bump? This is a massive bump.
我的妈！你...那些纹身真帅，你总共有几个纹身？ Oh my god! You..the tatoos are fantastic.How many do you have?
而且你是不是没地方纹身了？ And are you running out of room?
是的，我没地方继续纹身了。 Yes, I am running out of room.
我虽然不知道我有几个纹身但是我从头到脚都是纹身。 I don't know how many I have but I am covering head to toe.
你有没有通过招一个助手 Have you ever thought hiring an assistant
然后开始在助手身上纹纹身？ and just starting to put tatoos just on the assistant?
以此获得更多的空间来放纹身。 Get extra room.
你虽然是在开玩笑但是我虽然没有请助理 It's funny thing you say that because I didn't hire an assistant
来做这件事但是有些我不可以纹在我自己身上的想法 to do it but some ideas that I can't put on myself because I
因为我没位置了。 -没错。 -我就会把它们给我的兄弟姐妹 have no room. -Yeah. -I just give it to my homeboys and
然后他们去纹。 my homegirls and they put it on them.
真是太棒了( ´_ゝ` )。所以说白了我只是在开一个 That's great. So ugh essentially I was making a joke
你的确有在做的玩笑。 you will really doing at.
这就是真正的情况。 That' s what' s really what's going on right there.
你雇人然后在他们身上纹你想纹 You will hiring people and putting tatoos you would like to have
但是你没地方纹的纹身。 -精辟！ but you were out ouf room. -Exactly!
好吧，你来带我们进入这个游戏吧，我们开始玩吧。 All right, why don't you take us through. Let's get started it.
行吧，嗯、额、首先你要选择一个滑滑板的人 Ok, well, ugh, first of all you wanna choose a skater.
那是你。你看起来、你看起来很棒！ That's you. You look, you look good!
你看起来、你眼睛有点死鱼眼 You are a little dead in the eyes, you look.
哈哈哈哈哈哈 -你，可能，不不不不不不 hahahahaha -You maybe, nonononono.
你在现实生活中看起来很棒( •̀ ω •́ )。 -行吧。 In real life you look fantastic. -ooook.
我只是说你在游戏里面看起来emmmmm I just saying right there you look em....
你可能杀过一些人。 -哈哈哈哈哈哈 maybe you have killed some people. -hahahaha
在太平洋的西北部。 -啊啊啊啊啊w(ﾟДﾟ)w那是你！ In the pacific northwest. -Aaahhh! That's you!
啊啊啊啊啊啊 -你看！ -啊啊啊啊啊啊 Ahhhhhhhh!! -Look at that! -Aaaaaaaa!!!
Tony所以你，你、你把Wayne放在游戏里面... Tony so you, you, you put Wayne in the game..
我从来没有接到电话（说你要把我放到游戏里面） I never got a phone call.
为什么？我在滑板界没有地位吗？ Why? Do I have no creidit in the in the in the skaing community?
你给我说实话( ´_ゝ` )。 -它在建啦，这个游戏在建。 You will be honest. -It's building, it's building.
你不记得我玩得有多六了，对吧→_→？ You don't remember how good I am, do you?
我忘了。 -你不记得我有一次在你的头上飞跃而过吗？ I forget. -You don't remember the time I caught air over you?
我完全不记得你超过了我。 -我不是超过你（我是越过你）。 I totally forget you went pass me. -I did not pass.
看他的笑容。 -我穿的像乔迪伊斯波。 Look at that smile. -I dress like Jordy X。(不知道是谁)
Wayne这是你，你看你自己在游戏里面是啥感觉？ This is you Wayne, how is that feel to watch yourself
很酷因为你可能会想要看Tony没错！！ It's dope 'cause you might want to watch Tony yeaoooh!
翻它！ -刚刚好棒😦。 Shove it! -That's incredible.
额啊啊！！ -噢噢噢噢！ -对不起(ﾟДﾟ)！！ Ugh! -Aoooo! -I am sorry! !
Tony故意的。 Tony did that on purpose.
啊~ Ah~
为什么会有闪电在你的胯下出现，Wayne？ -噢！ Why is lightning coming out of your crotch, Wayne? -Oh!
那是啥玩意儿啊？为什么？ -女人们也问我同样的问题。 What is that Tony? Why is? -The women ask the same question.
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈😂😂😂 -噢！噢！ hahahahahahahaha! -Oh! Oh!
Tony我可以给这个游戏提点建议吗？ -可以！可以。 Tony can I make suggetions for the game? -Yes! Yes.
这里面有地方让游戏的角色额去买点零食来吃吗？ Is there a place where ugh the avatar can go and get snacks?
我们出发去买点吧。 -😂哈哈，可能在上面... We go and get it. -Hehe, yeah, maybe above...
穿过那扇窗那边然后去四周看看。 break through that window right there and go around.
应该有个地方买啊。所以你怎么看？ That should be a place to get. So what did you think?
你想要怎么样？ -我... What would you want? -I...
Wayne你只要告诉我们你的想法如何我们去实现。 Wayne just throw ideas and we got them.
你想要啥(￣▽￣)？-脱衣舞俱乐部在哪里→_→？ What would you want? -Where is the hooker strip?
脱衣舞俱乐部？ -没错( ´_ゝ` )。 Hooker strip? -Yes.
行啊！你可以在钢管上上去又下来，用你的滑板！ Yeah! You can go up the pole and down the pole, on the board!
你可以、你知道吗？ -她也是这么说的。 You could, you know? -That's what she said.
你... -她也是这么说的。 You... -That's what she said.
额啊啊！！这么容易get到我却没有懂。 Ugh! ! ! ! So easy to get I didn't grab it.
他真是十项全能啊。🐎的！ He is good at everthing. Damn!
她也是这么说的。 That's what she say.
拜托！ Come on! !
看啊！ Look at this!
她也是这么说的。 That's what she said too.
🐎的 DAMN
那个也是。 That too.
你是个完美的情人。 You are an incredible lover.
快停下！ -耶！你接不下那一句( •̀ ω •́ )✧！ Stop! -Yeah! You didn't take that one.
我现在来做个小测验 Just gonna quickly quiz
来测试你Tony，Wayne你想什么时候加入就什么时候加入。 you Tony and feel free Wayne to jump in.
嗯哼。-你们告诉我哪个是滑板花样 Emhn. -You tell me what's a skate move
哪个是姿势。 -嗯 and what's a sexual position. -Em
准备好了吗？ You ready?
滑板的花样 Skate move
滑板的花样 Skate move.
不... -姿势来的。 -对的... No... -Sex position. -Yes...
别、没错、别试这个，相信我。 -哈哈哈哈哈哈 Don't...Yeah, don't do it, trust me. -Hahahahaha
emm...不是...这不是滑板的花样 emnhaha..No...It's not a skate move
是姿势。 -不想知道具体是啥。 It's a sex position. -Don't wanna know it.
你确定这是姿势... Are you seriously not a position or is it an a..
那是什么样的啊？ -不是活动？ What is that be like? -Ac..ac..activity?
那个TOKYO SANDBLASTER姿势吗？首先，你要在东京做。 The TOKYO X(听不懂)? First of all, you got to be in Tokyo to do it.
噢噢噢噢... -并且你要有喷砂机设备。 Ooooohh... -And you have to have sandblasting equipment.
如果你准备好那些东西了 And if you get those things hooked up
并且有位女士愿意做这件事。 and you get a lady who is up for it.
我向你保证（我猜的）那就会是一段美妙的经历 I would X it's a fantastic experience.
哈哈哈 -好啦 hahaha -Ok,
那个其实是滑板的花样 That is actually a skate move. -Yeah.
那是滑板的花样。行吧，那这个呢？ That's a skate move. Yeah, how about this one?
MANUAL GO-GURT?
没错！无论如何，你应该把那个加到游戏里面去。 Yeah! So anyway, you should get that stuff into the game.
并且要快哦 And get it in fast.
额啊！噢没错！ -可以，三角形是摩擦，X是跳跃。 Ugh! Oh yeah! -Ok, the triangle is grind, the X is jump.
行。 -然后绕广场一圈。 -我是按钮破坏者。没错。 Ok. -And cricle the square. -I am a button masher. Yeah.
而且我想呀去篝火那里。额啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！ And I wanna go towards the fire. Uuuggghhh! ! ! !
快看我的滑板着火了！！！ Look at that my board got FIRREEE! ! !
我的滑板着火了！！！ MY BOARD CAUGHT ON FIRRREEE! ! !
没错！！！ -噢噢噢噢噢噢噢 -额额额啊啊啊啊啊 YEAAHHHH! ! ! -OOOHHHH -UUUUGGGHHH
什么嘛！刚才真是，那真是 What! that was in an, that was
刚才那段发生的时候我高潮了 I had an orgasim when that was happening.
真是太棒了！ -哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！ That's fantastic. -Hahahahahahaha! ! !
我们来到了游戏中一个非常有趣的部分， Tony we are getting to an very interesting part of the game,
叫大头。这里会发生啥？ called big head, what happens here?
嘛，你的头会不断变大。 Well your head continues to grow.
然后只要你一直玩滑板做出花样，你就可以不爆炸。 And as long as you doing tricks, you can keep that from exploding.
你头真的好大！！太棒了！！ Your head is getting REALLY BIGGG! ! ! That is FANTASTIC!
并且如果你不尽快玩特技你头会爆炸？ And if you don't do the tricks soon it will explode?
越来越好玩了。 It's getting great.
噢！哈哈哈哈哈哈 Oh! Hahahahahahaha! !
快把我笑死了。那真的好好玩。Wayne你想看你的头变大吗 That kills me. That is really funny. Wayne you wanna see you head get big?
我还是算了吧。 -哈哈哈哈哈哈 I am fine. -Hahahahahaha
好啦是时候认真起来，停止搞事情。 All right it's time to get real, stop screwing around.
Wayne我挑战你。你先玩然后我后玩。 Wayne I challenge you. You play and then I will play.
输的人 -嗯哼。 The loser -Emhn.
要在自己身上纹另外一个人的 -另外一个人的 has to get a tatoo of the other person's -of the other person's
真是个好赌注！ -脸 Perfect bet oh man! -face on their body.
行啊。 -所以你要找位置给我Conan Ok. -So you will have to find room for an Conan
的头 HEAD
行。 -一定要大。我不是指一些小点点 Yes. -It's got to be big. I am not talking about some tiny little dot
没错。 -这里有点位置。 Exactly. -There is some space right here.
我就在这里面露笑容而且拥有一个笑着的Conan在这 And I can go right there smiling and that would not hurt your career
一点也不会破坏你的职业生涯或者你的地位 or your credit at all to have an big smiling Conan right there.
如果我输了，显然这不可能发生， And if I lose, which isn't gonna happened,
行吧。 -我会把你脸纹在身上。 Ok. -I will get a tatoo of you on my body.
我们来看看你会什么吧。 Let's see what you got.
哇哦，看那个你定义了重力。 Wow, look at that, you define gravity.
快看快看快看。好棒啊。 Look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this. This is incredible.
噢！你看到他的脚在抖了吗？ Oh! Did you see the way his legs were shaking?
Wayne当你撞地的时候你的腿在抖。 Wayne your legs were shaking as you hit the ground.
18，376分 -好了，开始吧。我要干嘛？我按... 18, 376. -Ok, here we go. What do I do? I push the...
按开关。 -开关。 -我在干嘛哦( ´_ゝ` )？ Push triger. -Triger. -What am I doing?
噢跳进车里面！ -啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！ -哇哦。 Oh jump in the car! -Aaaaaahhhh! ! ! -Wow.
你得弄些花样出来。 -噢！不错。 -不要啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！ You got to get some tricks on you. -Oh! Nice. -Nnnoooo!
耶！！不！！ YEAH! ! NO! !
行吧让我问个问题。 Ok let me ask you a question.
我在好奇你的发型 The cut of your hair I was wondering,
行吧。 -我好奇你怎么... -立这么高的？ Yeah. -I wonder how are the.. -To get the height?
达到这个高度的。 -嘛我头发立起来的高度确实很难达到。 height says like that. -Yeah my height is really hard to get.
这个高度我很努力才达到的。 -我，我喜欢你保持你发型有趣 The height that I really work really hard. -I, I enjoy the interesting
你知道的，保持发型有趣的执着。非常棒( •̀ ω •́ )✧。现在回到游戏吧。 you know what you just keep it. It's nice. Go back to the game.
你还有两秒，做点什么。 -什么？别啊啊啊啊！！！ 2 second left, Do something. -What? No! ! !
怎么回事？你赢了！ -啊啊啊啊啊啊 What happened? You won! -Aaahhhhh
Lil Wayne赢了
男子汉大丈夫说到做到。 -哇哦！哇哦！ I am a man of my word. -Wow! Wow!
没错！！！ -那是WEEZY！ YEAH! ! ! -That's WEZZY!
上面说我爱WEEZY（李伟小名） It said I love WEEZY!
你喜欢吗？ -哇哦！ -你骄傲吗？ You like that? -Wow! -You proud?
我不知道说啥了。 -你开心吗？还是你觉得有点恐怖？ I don't know what to say. -Are you happy? Or kind of horrified?
说实话。 -我觉得比起开心其实更吓人 Be honest. -More horrified than happy.
吓人？？？ -但是非常棒哦，他们纹得很好。 HORRIFIED? ? -But it's awesome though, They did a great job.
现在啥时候我和女士在一起这就是她们将看到的东西 Anytime I am with the lady now this what they gonna see
朝她们靠近。这将直接朝她们靠近。 coming at them. This this moving right in on them.
这有助于你把妹。 That 's gonna help you with the lady.
这有助我把妹？ -这绝对有助你把妹。 -行吧。 Is it gonna help me? -It's gonna definetly help you. -Yeah.
好了，《TONY HAWK专业滑板者5》将于9月29日登陆PS4平台 Ok, "TONY HAWK'S PRO SKATER 5" drops on PS4 and XBOX ONE
和XBOX ONE，你可以做367你可以做885s on september 29th, you can do 367 you can do 885s
你可以（不知道是啥）你可以（不知道是啥） you can flap jack it you can squander the whole 9 yards.
带、把洋葱带在身上。这是人们会说的话吗？ Bring it, bring it an onion with you. Is that something people say?
不。 -你这样认为吗。 -他们可能现在会这样说了。 No. -You think so. -They might now.