DESTINY JOKE LURKING BEHIND THE CORNER LIKE A RATMAN
Ancient, ancient person,
full of fountains, courtesan.
Dromedaria, air, air.
Habanera!
Sunken, full of bottom.
Seductive, curvy.
Tawny.
Habanera.
Habanera!
Dromedaria, air, air.
Sunken, full of bottom.
Seductive, curvy.
Tawny.
Habanera.
Habanera!
Move, you obstruct the traffic.
What does it say?
Explain it to me later, But now get out of here, come on.
- I'm locked. - Documents. Open the window.
Open the window. - It does not open.
Show me the documents.
- Enough, the documents! - What is it?
Please come closer, give me the documents and open the car.
- What's up, don't you know? - Sergeant, there is something strange here.
- You're right. - Shall we call Central?
- Is something wrong? - Who are you? What do you want?
- From Andreiis, I am addressing Parliament. - Excuse me, Your Lady.
Can I help you?
Excellency! Can I be of use to you in something?
Can I help you?
What can't you open? Please come out.
It won't open, Your Lady.
You have been lucky: this is my house, for whatever.
Sergeant, we can cross ourselves now.
OK OK.
Carabinieri, ministerial coach!
Boredom!
- Come on, Sergeant! - Go ahead, this way.
So, that's it.
Come on, a little more.
- Help us, young man! - Push!
- We're already in the garage, Sergeant. - Come on, come on!
We need a crane.
- Ministry of the Interior? - Yes, say?
- With Dr. Crisafulli. - Who is speaking?
- A deputy. - Which one?
What more day? This is a deputy speaking on behalf of ...
- From whom? - Don't ask questions, I told you.
Deputy "�a�a�a��".
The utmost discretion is required in a matter related to ... excellence.
Ah, I understand! Your excellence had a press conference.
Journalists have been two hours waiting for it.
Stop it immediately. He has had a traffic problem.
I beg of you a discreet attitude, no matter how much journalist there is.
It is not going to be that the usual ones take advantage, you know the journalists.
- Already. -She has suffered a breakdown.
She will let me know immediately to Captain Pautasso.
- But what about you ...? - Don't ask questions please.
Then see you now ... - Yes.
... at the Gianicolo Fountain, in front of the Biss ... uart.
- Pissubaar? - From the museum.
- Already. - Have you understood?
- I hope we meet, deputy. - Of course I do.
- Deputy ... - Crisafulli,
I'm sure they haven't followed him journalists?
Relax, we have misled them. How is Your Excellency?
- You want the maximum reservation. - Actually, I'm not asking anything.
- Commander Pautasso? - In the car. He is the only policeman
Your Excellency relies on. - As soon as you trust or not.
- Captain Pautasso. Deputy De Andreiis? - Yes.
Excuse the uniform, but I was at the racetrack and they called me.
Better, that way they don't see that he is secret police.
That's it. At the Viminale, the press I was very agitated:
they expected a new terrorist attack. God help us.
How?
That I have brought with me our best mechanical: God help us.
Because it is a fault, right? - Yes, a jammed gear.
- Come in, ma'am, come in. - Thanks.
Come on!
And you, ma'am, do you live nearby?
Yes, right next to the Fontanone.
For his Excellency, of evil the least, when everything happens near my house.
It will be a good occasion to get to know us better.
Here to the right.
- Can I take home a package? - Of course.
- Contains two mademoilsesas. - Mademoiselles?
- Two submachine guns. - Take him to my study
- Be good, huh? -What happened to his Excellency?
Nothing, a mechanical lock.
It would be better to close the gate and connect alarms.
Hermetically closed, locked.
Courage, Excellency, courage. Keep him in high spirits.
He wants to communicate something to us through the computer.
"�Journalists, reactions, press, my absence? "
"They suspect terrorist actions."
Excellence.
"I hold them accountable ... maximum."
Wow, the cables were crossed!
"I hold them responsible ..." I do not understand well, excuse me, Excellency.
It is useless for him to shout: the car is soundproof. Use mime.
And above all smile, don't make him nervous.
He is going to tell me: when he is nervous makes his handwriting worse.
- Maximum re ...? - Maximum reservation!
- I've read it too. - Thank you, Excellency.
This De Andreiis, always so diligent. We'll see when H.E. get pissed off.
I imagine.
- How is it going? - This car is a bunker.
It's a defense weapon built
with the most advanced technique. I mean, we are going dice. Signed: Diosnosayude.
Well. But smile. Optimism!
I smile, but ...
It's amazing that the last scream ... that this model, the Prometheus ...
You know it's made in a plant Japanese that has 12,000 engineers?
The electronic brain that designs its mechanism is called Zeus.
And the prototype is the Prometheus.
- Careful, I'm turning on! - Get down, it burns your eyes!
�Prometeus, let's give a little fire to the gods!
He was punished by Zeus, who chained him and I forced him to eat the liver of the eagles.
"Prometheus in chains". Aeschylus. Do you remember?
- I studied for Science. - Revenge of the gods!
�Put in the hands of a redneck as a mechanic a new car!
How can it be blocked like this? a technology like that of Prometheus?
A mockery!
Radio, electronic control, the phone in contact with the Viminale ...
How can it be that nothing works? - A mockery!
And who knows how much it will have cost this super shielded!
We paid a fortune: $ 200,000.
$ 200,000? Almost 400 million lire!
And it's not even the most expensive! It would be good!
The editor of Playmen magazine has one that costs $ 800,000.
Come in. The press must not know anything.
�The Minister of the Interior caught inside an armored car!
How to store eggs in a box
- Congratulations, deputy! - The house is not mine, but my mother-in-law.
Agents! - What about those?
I have met them on the street: they have helped me to put the car away.
- Can we trust us? - "All for the homeland".
If they betray us ... - In any case,
we will have to prevent to communicate with the outside world.
Don't worry, I'll take care of it. With so much spy buzzing around
anyone can trust. A phone, please?
- There. - Thanks.
Imagine, deputy, if the thing transcended.
Imagine the newspaper headlines, with so much rat.
We are all bound to save the image of the State.
It is something that I carry as a flag.
Too bad the minister underestimates me. - Why? Nothing of that...
Yes, yes: it was rumored that he was the one I vetoed my candidacy for undersecretary.
A more secluded place to be able to operate?
- My office. - Thanks.
I would appreciate if you could take the rest from home phones to his office.
Of course.
- Good morning. - Good morning, ma'am.
Isn't he ...?
Two carabinieri here!
But, Vincenzo ...?
Vincenzo!
- What is it?
- Have they come for us? - Don't talk nonsense!
This is a small fault suffered by ...
For me. For my car.
I am Crisafulli, of the Ministry of the Interior.
Pardon the invasion, ma'am, and thank you for the hospitality of his garage.
- And these ...? - They are my bodyguards.
It is that entering the house and finding two guards is not an everyday thing.
I urge you absolute discretion. Everything settled, I just got off the phone with Central.
- Then we can go. - But what do you say?
All arranged. It means that from now on
you are doomed.
- Lawyers? - Allow me.
Be good, sergeant.
Abocados: word of mouth. Calls, errands ...
Hereinafter You remain at the service of the deputy.
To order!
- Everyone in the house? - This is the last one.
Hey?
How?
- The weapons! - What? Bella Napoli Pizza?
- �Pizzeria Bella Napoli? - Isn't that 5656910?
Maria Theresa, don't shy away from me. You don't see What is an emergency situation?
- A shower is what it is. - Don't joke, help me
to face the situation with a political perspective.
Political perspective!
Crissafulli is a character very important in the game.
Please be courteous to him. - Sure, dear,
What does the truth matter if there is only one mighty man on Earth?
Understand. I said, treasure.
Hopefully not about of a sabotage.
- Diosnos help, �Vd. exclude fraud? - Excuse me, I don't swear on anything.
- Okay, smile, I didn't say anything. - Yes, I smile.
- Don't forget to smile. - I smile, I smile.
Maybe we could use a scientist. - A scientist, huh?
� He does not know that they left the University the first terrorists? Smile.
No, I did not mean a student, but someone who has studied,
someone competent, capable just the same to fix it than to sabotage it.
- But smile. - I smile, but it makes me want to cry.
It is urgent to call an expert. We are losing time.
- Stop there! - What is it?
Stop or shoot!
Stop!
She is my daughter: she is part of the family organization chart. Polpetta!
- Dad! - Polpetta ... were you scared?
Pssss.
- Who's inside? - Nothing, nothing, a technical problem,
a ministerial car. Leave it. Come.
Here there is a lot I come and go. I'm going to take a look.
- Spy? - Who are you? What does he do?
I am Mrs. De Andreiis.
Ma'am! Pleasure.
I am Captain Pautasso. He was watching. Excuse me.
What a joy, two carabinieri! God bless the Benem�rita!
Who is this lady? Who has opened it?
I had to open. They were the lady and Mrs. Lillina. They are from the family.
If I don't open they'll kick me out. And if I open, they throw me out to the police.
- Who are they, then? - The lady is my wife's sister
It does not belong to the family organization chart, She is a passing guest.
Excuse me, please. Captain Pautasso.
Dear Pautasso, imagine: I love uniforms.
Thank goodness: there are many people who hated since we arrested Pinocchio.
Those helmets from War of the Galaxies are the ones that scared us.
The carabinieri!
- Go study, Polpettina. - Captain Pautasso!
Ma'am, I'd better call FIAT research center.
Diosnosayude says they are experts in the Japanese electronic novelties theme.
Let's go to the phone.
Guard the entire fence and prevent Someone into the shed
Do your duty well. - At your orders!
Thank you from Your Excellency to the lawyer Agnelli.
I am deputy De Andreiis.
Yes, with two �es. Thanks.
Attorney Agnelli sends us his best technician.
It leaves in 15 min from Turin.
Without the bull in front, the lambs dance. (Torino / Agnelli)
He never approved Japanese electronic shielding.
- You have engaged by phone. - Praise God!
The hard way leads to triumph.
Turin News: "The difficult road leads to triumph. "Did Catullo say so?
I already told you that I studied for Science.
News from Turin: "The hard way leads to triumph."
- What a bad temper! - Don't bother, ma'am, let him be.
I do not want, I want to be useful and I do with pleasure.
I like situations that require collaboration.
Are you not feeling well? Are you short of breath?
- Are you short of breath? - They'll have to put the air conditioning on.
Everything is blocked!
Like other cars, it would have to have a screw under the dash ...
Under the dashboard to the right there must be a screw.
Turn that screw. - How?
With a small coin.
With a small coin, turn the screw.
Do you carry coins?
Just turn. What does it do?
No, minister, that is not a small coin; that's millions.
No, a small coin. They don't have a coin?
A button!
There is the button, thank goodness.
Not going?
Do it carefully, that the minister does not have to tear off all the buttons.
Better the underpants buttons, See, mine are thinner.
Oh yeah: you're wearing slip.
His Excellency does wear underpants.
- What patience! - That's right, with one of its buttons.
Very well.
Line up well. Have you entered?
I'll see.
Turn.
Perfect!
Better?
Yes, notice the air.
Lower the temperature. So says the thermometer.
All right, ma'am, one point in our favor.
- It worked. - Yes, thank goodness.
- His Excellency is more relaxed. - And he didn't believe us.
This has worked out well. Have you seen, young man?
Sometimes the button is more valuable. some underpants than a computer.
- Certain. - You have to learn to reason.
Yes.
Even when everything seems lost you have to try.
What happens? Cold?
Impossible crises can thus be solved, I'm talking about politics.
Get rid of it ... the colitis. His Excellency has a colitis crisis.
- Who do you vote for, young man? - Ma'am, the vote is secret.
I do not even tell the unions, How am I going to tell you?
Right, she was joking.
We are at 0. Put "Danger"!
- What is it? - It happens that their teeth chatter.
The air conditioning does not stop! - Shut down!
Turn it the other way around.
And if colitis is triggered, what?
- That we'll end up full of shit. Unscrew.
- No, the button is broken! - Okay with the air conditioning,
if we don't call the factory This car will never open.
- I don't believe you! - And I say it will never open.
- And I say I don't believe you. - He does not belive me. Well, you see!
The man and the machine! The man will beat the machine!
Luckily you have come: Not even God speaks English here.
I have always liked this energy of yours "Bonino type",
that's your mentality post-capitalist "Craxi type"
and when it is necessary, that knowledge put the ass so andreottian.
Pig!
You are with your usual sows. Who is in there?
It seems mysterious to me.
Won't I be the President? Let me take a look.
- Impossible. - Come on, let me look.
A human being has been in there for 4 hours, not a fairground monkey to have fun with.
- A look... - Call me an aunt.
We have already found to that Japanese super technician?
Not quite.
Japan is a dream country: They don't have unions there.
They know how they strike the Japanese?
His way of protesting is to work 3 � 4 hours more.
Ma'am, don't let them hear you.
Dear Crisafulli, he can cover you the mouth to the sack, but never to the woman.
- Mommy, how long have you been here? - I've been looking at you for a while.
Very well, Today you have a Hollywood air.
Even Aunt Lillina's shoes you have put yourself in a casque!
By the way, mommy, how were they those silly carabinieri jokes?
Those you always counted on. - There are so many...
There is a little book out there with many.
What was he like?
A carabinier nailed in front of a hotel stares at a window.
And why?
Because the colonel had commanded him You will look at a room in the Excelsior.
What a fool!
Mom,
I like one of the two.
A carabinero?
Is he serious?
Incredible!
But you who are always with them in the mouth, what are you telling me, it's serious, right?
It's not for you, is it?
- What is it? - Waiting.
Come.
What is good?
Get out of there! - With the cap I don't see anything.
Hey!
Please, Can you take off your cap?
The cap.
- Is it serious? - No, it's not serious, sweetie.
Waiting.
The joke is known of the carabinero in front of the Excelsior?
Vincenzo!
- What is it, dear?
Why are you screaming like that? Don't you realize?
- Look what the newspaper says! - The lira devalued 25%. Normal!
There will be a new government crisis. - How what government crisis?
Look lower left: Gigi Pedrinelli has escaped tonight.
- Who is this Pedrinelli? - Gigi, Gigetto,
one of the guys we had at home.
The autonomous one with glasses let me eat the sausage!
What became of him? Don't tell me you still try it.
Of course I treat it! I'd like to ask you a favor.
You know I never ask for anything. Couldn't the TV make a call?
Or ask the Police not to shoot.
I have also thought ..., I have an idea:
that you could talk about Gigi, for For example, with the Minister of the Interior.
Yes, it is the best time. I go to the Minister of the Interior and tell him:
"A friend of my wife is from Red Brigades, can you help?
"I couldn't find you a job doorman in Montecitorio? "Are you crazy?
Do you not realize that he is a boy, a fellow student of mine?
A friend of mine without more, you don't have friends
that for not carrying papers maybe now he's hurt,
but no, it's better to get it out to remove it more easily.
- Lower your voice. - What, lower your voice? You are a monster.
I knew you would refuse. You didn't even have any friends when you were young.
Never a kite to play with, never a friend, nothing! Yes, you have your government!
- The police are out! - I don't care how the cops are!
That is your Government, always doing balances! Hopefully it falls soon!
You are a puppet! Fuck off, that's what you are!
Don't think you're going to shut me up. Are ambitious, but mediocre and medium hair.
Scared, huh? Cagueta, little man, fag, bureaucrat!
Your armchairs one day They will suffocate in a deadly embrace.
So are men, small containers.
But computer science will swallow you up! - Okay! Thanks.
Send something else?
Can it be?
Can it be? Is there no one?
Can it be?
Where is that little girl?
Watch this.
Is it possible?
"He will die dead ..."
- Excuse me, Captain. - What is there?
- A mainland taxi has arrived ... - What lieutenant?
- I mean containing a type ... - Playing funny?
Continent... It will be "with a guy." Follow.
- Coming from Turin, from FIAT. - Great!
Gentlemen, the FIAT technician has arrived. - Goodness.
Agnelli has been very fast: 50 minutes!
The deputy has discussed with his wife when has he started singing?
- Yes, I have noticed some familiar friction. - Roce? Is he from Avellino?
- Do you think it's time for laughter? - Do you know the last of the terrorists?
One terrorist sees another staring at a hotel room.
What are you doing? He says.
"The head of the command has commissioned me let him look at a hotel room. "
Excuse me Wasn't it a police joke?
No, I've always heard it of terrorists.
Come in, come in, go ahead. The technician the lawyer sends!
- Diosnoshelp, delighted. - Let's wait and see.
- What do you want, touch my eggs? - No! He doesn't like me, huh?
God help us, let's hope you will: almost family.
Have you heard, deputy ?: God help us and hopefully we will.
If they don't this time they the miracle ...
Don't laugh, ma'am.
His Excellency looks upset. He is about to burst with fury.
I have done everything I can.
The air I have fixed it, right? Is not My fault if it broke again.
Looks at me in a way, huh?
The same look as when he opposed to my candidacy for undersecretary.
Look.
How did you argue your opposition? What judgment did you make about it?
What did it say? - Now I do not remember, I could not tell.
Something typical of power. - How?
He surely prioritized the personal.
- I do not think so. - Yes, yes.
Maybe because he was too close to the current of the president ...
Or because it was too controversial. What did it say?
- I don't know. - You do know.
Honestly ... I don't know. - Look how he looks at me.
What does it say? - Any.
Sorry how?
-I think he called me "asshole". - No...
- Yes, yes. - No...
- I think I'm not wrong. -No, he must have said "rings" ...
No, he said "asshole".
- Were you looking? -Yes, he said "asshole".
Six... (Are)
One... (a)
See it?
Who is at the device?
Put me on attorney Mussulmani, please.
- Have you found out? - Yes, it is urgent.
- It is a violation of privacy. - Come on, guard, it says "praivacy".
Here we are too exposed. Take a walk around and watch.
Sorry if I bother you, I am Rosa L.
�Rosa L.?
Lawyer, how can you not remember? Rosa L.!
It was you who advised me to be prudent
and he recommended me to use this name in tribute to the Spartacist League.
Lawyer, what are you doing now, speak?
I don't have ... Listen.
You have read in the press that the cat has escaped over the rooftops?
The cat has escaped across the rooftops. Encrypted language!
The cat has been put on in contact with you?
Good, I understand. I'm trying
to get in touch with the cat to help him get to safety
so he can escape.
Well, I'm going there. But assure me even that he will be waiting for me.
Hold on there, I will introduce myself now.
Something fat. You realize the responsibility that we have above?
You go to control let no one enter the shed.
Right away.
Always Parliament: the snakes breed inside.
I mean Mrs. De Andreiis.
Seafood sucks your head.
12 X 24 green.
I am Rin Tin Tin, hand me over to the data center.
12 X 24 green, check the code immediately.
Can you ...?
Rosa L., alleged false name or name of battle.
You too? But what happens today?
Well, I'll call again.
She has spoiled the electronic brainiac.
But what do you write, Mongoloid?
I pass to the ruling class.
At your orders.
Excuse me, Maria Theresa, I did not ear. Can't get out: alarm goes off.
- Why can't you get out? - Security measures, by the car.
It is a matter of a few hours. - Come on now!
Be patient.. You are becoming more and more irritable.
What happens? Not that you hate me.
Look, I have to go out. Pretend you haven't seen me.
How do ...? I am not the doorman.
Where do you have to go?
Always grumpy.
What happened to the passionate blonde, in love?
Why aren't you like before, Patatita?
I, Patatita; your daughter, Albondiguita; my sister, Bistecona ... everything to eat!
And you, all regime! In short, that I speak more with the opposition than with you.
Maria Theresa, why don't we talk?
Because I don't want to talk to you. And since you didn't want to give me a divorce,
just take care of your convergences parallel and infamous equilibria.
And she stop pinching my sister's ass because it happens to you. And let me out!
Very nice! Did that witch tell you?
It is not true that you did it yesterday again? You're the usual slimy!
Slimy why? I made him a mere fulfilled, for education.
A quick compliment. You don't have time, neither time nor passion, I know.
That's it, without passion. And without time.
Because my passion and my time I would always dedicate them to you.
Ten years ago that you don't let me see the little thing.
And what do you want me to do with this?
use it to open sliding closet doors?
�Open what you want, but let me out!
No, you don't go out. Guard!
You pay me for this!
Do you need something, ma'am?
Libertarian inclinations product of lax morality.
See it? Does not allow me go to my superiors.
I'm worried i don't want assume further responsibilities.
And then that woman ... - I had to warn her.
- What has warned the woman? From what? - From what has occured.
- I shouldn't have. -She is she a woman of arms to take.
She's going to tell me: I just saw her at the gate in a fury.
At the gate? But what woman are we talking about?
- You first. - I'm talking about the minister's wife.
I know her very well.
Able to report the fact and in 5 minutes the press finds out.
- God forbid. - Nerd.
I'd better go get her. Do you think she?
- Yes. - Well.
How's it going guys?
It is a complicated job. Not even the computer is of much use.
Look at this, look. That's a laser, you know? Well, a mustache comes out on the computer!
Who goes?
Are you crazy? Don't you know this triggers?
This is a deadly weapon.
Well, well, well! To touch my handcuffs? Go on, circulate.
Do you know what I saw on TV the other night?
"Bread, love and fantasy". What a charming carabinero!
He was stupid. The "Lollo" I know she was lovely.
Have you seen "The Carabinero on Horseback"? - No.
- Will you let me see the handcuffs? - And hit it. I can't, I'm on duty.
Please...
Okay. If she asks for it with those eyes ... The deadly weapon is not touched.
Well, that's how they open.
And that's how they get.
- Can I do it too? - Yes.
The doll.
And the automatic lock goes off.
- And then? - Then the key.
- To close? - To open.
Wait, I do.
What are you doing, crazy?
Are you crazy? What do you want, sink me?
It will be impossible for us to find it! - I hope so.
- Great, that's how they'll arrest me! - They'll arrest me too.
Enough, let me stand up. Up!
It is unworthy of the Body. Let's go.
Get to the other side!
Let's see if with this key We can do something. Quiet!
Quiet!
Be still fuck with the girl this!
What is that as a girl? I'm almost 15 years old!
Can I ask you a porn thing? Deflower me.
- Des ... what? - Deflate me.
Is that you are so fine with that sweet carabinero pint ...
Do I seem paranoid about sex to you?
Well no, because I haven't yet ... Do you understand me?
- Ah! - That's why I don't think of anything else.
Because you can't ask for certain things to the cantama�anas of the institute.
They are ignorant! Instead you you are a guardian of order. You know order.
And above, with those bits of heaven in the eyes. Come on, deflate me.
- How do you say it is said? - Deflate me.
Deflate me ... what nonsense! If you were my sister ...
What do you have in mind? You don't know that for a girl is ...
It is like the Ivory Tower.
If you find a boy who He loves you, do you say "deflate me"?
"The virgin is like a rose,
"who lives in a beautiful garden so protected by its thorns
"that neither flock nor shepherd come near him.
"But as soon as the stem of it is plucked, her grace and her beauty,
"all that men and heaven they loved in her, she loses everything. "
- Who says that? - Ariosto.
- And how do you know? - I studied it with my uncle priest.
I had to choose between being priest or policeman.
Or priest or policeman!
As a cure you would not be wrong.
- Let me go. - Where are you going?
Clinging to you like ivy.
Okay, okay. - What do you say?
- I'm your girlfriend. - No.
No, you are rich I am a carabinero.
And I want to marry a policeman, Who is going to stop me?
The carabinero. I mean, me. The body prohibits ...
- Let's see, what's your name? - Adalgisa. What about you?
- Beniamino. - Beniamino!
Can I call you Ben?
Lock the entrance, set the alarm and put the car under cover.
This way, please.
It's a minor incident her husband is fine.
Somewhat demoralized, it is true: she has been locked in the car for 11 hours.
But we'll get it out right away is calm.
Carlos! Carlos!
Carlos mine! Carlos!
Carlos! Why do you treat me like this? - Ma'am.
His wife puts his nerves on edge. You have to get her out of here.
- Why did they bring her, then? - It had to be controlled.
- Carlos! - She hates her.
- He can't hear her. - He hates her more than me.
She feels bad! It doesn't feel good at all!
-What does she say, insults her? - Nerd.
- Yes, he insults her. -She doesn't say anything special.
Take a look.
- I don't understand you! - Am I wrong or did you call him a whore?
- No. -To me, she called him a whore.
-She told him "I hear you far away". -No, she called him a whore.
-You, has she noticed? - He called you a whore.
At this point, I understand very well the language of the deaf and dumb.
- Can you hear me, Carlo? - You can't, the car is super armored.
Soundproof. - Poor, without eating since yesterday morning.
And he suffers from colitis. Carlo, are you ill?
Carlos mine! Carlos!
For God's sake, can't you see what's wrong?
Yes, we see it, but calm down.
- Call a doctor! - Yes, now we call him.
- It's wrong! -My mother, she has fainted!
His Excellency is very jealous.
Why is he looking at me? I do not do anything.
Captain, you hold it.
But don't put it down.
Eureka! It's a black out! Nobody move.
Check the electrical installation. - Do not make alarm movements.
Why don't you take me to the shed? I am part of the telephone operators staff.
If it depended on me, right now he was taking her to the shed.
He would take her to hell if he asks me with those eyes,
But unfortunately I am only a military, beautiful lady.
Where is Mr. Kyono Makoto, please?
Here is the manual of the perfect conversation in Japanese.
Goodness.
How do you say "Where is the Lord?"
It puts it here.
- "Can you call me a taxi?" - No, not that.
- "Where is the Tabucci Theater?" - That. The Capucci Theater
"Where is he?" it is said in Japanese "Sore wa doko ni arimasu ka".
And if you want to say "thank you", In Japanese it is said "Arigat�".
- Have something, some fruit. - No, please, I'm very nervous.
- You should eat something. - You can have a vegetable broth.
My wife!
Come my dear I present to you the lady ...
Is Mr. Kyono Makoto here?
"In her cage the bird is gone.
"Fru fru del café singer ..." - Share yourself.
Yes, it's him!
Oh God, it's the mark of him.
Oh my God!
- Theresa! - Gigi!
It is not true!
Is not true...
X 12 Green. X 12 Green!
How? Bella Napoli Pizza?
Excuse me, there has been a crossover.
Get me on the goose!
X 12 Green, here Rin Tin Tin.
What the Data Center says of the alleged Rosa L?
Wait.
I can't, I'm in a very delicate operation. Parliamentarians.
Get me on the goose!
The electronic brain is still locked? I will call again. Change.
Agent, I have to debrief to the deputy De Andreiis.
You don't lose sight to the alleged Rosa L. Okay?
- To the order. - These MPs!
- But what are you doing? - Shut up.
These handcuffs are a problem. We have to find the key.
- What a beauty! What class! - An ancestor of my wife.
Great times. They were different times.
- Your wife's grandmother, you said? - A lot of class and great character.
Apparently his wife too It must have a great character.
Lucky for you it does not deal with politics.
No, luckily, politics, no.
Although in the matter of protests it's been hell.
It wasn't like that before. When i met her she was very different.
When I met her she was a child a student.
I was his teacher. She was a sweet, calm girl.
In full campaign for the referendum, she goes and asks me for a divorce.
- What about you? - I did not grant it.
It would have been a political gesture typical of a suicide.
And besides, he had no motive.
And then, to bug me, she re-enrolls in the University.
At the University? I remember very good of that time.
Then your house would be filled with claims, feminism ...
Feminism? Brought me home to all pregnant girls
pretending that I did the collection so they could abort.
And all this, in the middle of the second referendum.
Also in Turin, you know? Some humiliations ...
�Remember when they faced us saying to us: "You, macho"?
That was driving me out of my mind.
And that mania with orgasm?
I already wanted to go out with a marmoset, a girl we say today;
she was a sweetie, a sweetie, an eden ferret;
And she can't think of anything else to get into a bus!
Lower.
From then on, it was hell:
orgasm, erogenous zones, "above, below, sideways,
"No, no there."
"Bullshit, selfish!"
"Get on top, get under, get sideways, no, no there. "I didn't give one!
You will understand that after a few days in that plan even the most virile man
lose the desire. Some failures ...
I understand you.
She now she lives with a choreographer.
Rico, this Franciacorta.
Have you heard of Rosa L.?
What is it, a whiskey?
But let me see you
handsome mine of luxury.
See? Time spoils everything but not you.
Not to you.
Fled ...
I saw you already with your face crushed against the earth
and with the body lying on a platform,
in that absurd, crude posture, of death.
And now it seems like a dream to me that we are here again
in our palace.
Once upon a time there was a king and a queen ...
When I think of the look that you directed me at the trial,
amid the flashes of the photographers, with those chains ...
God, how did you look at me!
Enough, enough, now.
Poor, you will be cold and hungry.
Why don't you tell me anything?
Don't look at me, don't you see that I am a mess?
No, Theresa.
Okay looking at me like that.
Now only good things, I'm going to make meatballs.
Theresa, what I need is to look at you.
Can't you see that you make me cry, silly?
Okay, now I'm back. I bring you the meatballs,
wine, a razor and even television, that there is football.
Captain, they say to have the computer
you have to contact the German Secret Services.
The BDN? 3333612 But surely Colonel Schultz is sleeping.
I don't know?
How pale you are. You have not eaten anything.
Mom, Can you lend me your ring?
Sure, dear. Do not lose it.
Of course I will lose it I have to sell it.
And why, Plum?
What why? What do you want? What Let's talk about love even when it goes wrong
I know those eyes.
- Gigi ran away tonight. - No!
I will have to escape abroad. I need money.
Do not worry.
It's your fiancee ring, right? - Yes.
Then nothing. It doesn't matter, Countess.
Hey? Once again the Bella Napoli pizzeria!
So let's take advantage. She ordered two pizzas. For me, Margherita with ketchup.
For me, a Capricciosa.
If you do not mind, I would like a Four Seasons.
So, a Capricciosa ...
Do�a Sophia, Maria Theresa ...
And this smell?
Eucalyptus, for asthma.
Asthma? I didn't know you had asthma, Mrs. Sophia.
Maria Theresa has withdrawn from the study all the family pictures.
And I don't understand why. Also those from here. Why?
Drug!
Drug, not eucalyptus. I have been smelling at home this smell.
And there is a joint! Oh, Soph, with the house full of police!
We have to live the problems of our children.
You look at them from the outside and they look like monsters. So I jumped in.
The minister's wife. Greetings, greetings.
- Everything OK with the BDN. - I do not understand.
The German Secret Service. We had asked for Schultz's support.
- Yes? - What does it smell like?
- Eucalyptus. - Ma'am, have you cooled down?
Captain, come talk with the Germans these ...
How are you, Doña Graziella, are you better?
I'm worried, really worried with my poor husband locked in there.
Excuse me, ma'am, but ...
At this moment her husband does not run no risk. Locked in there ...!
Take the opportunity to relax.
What a curious smell.
From Andreiis, this is not eucalyptus.
Even while she's in this house let's avoid ...
My mother in law has asthma.
Share yourself.
Put your head down.
I believe that the Minister of the Interior He doesn't give a damn about the Selection.
- For him it will be a distraction. - That's what it's about.
International match!
International match! Football. - In Italy, football works miracles.
"As you can see, the Selection looks today White T-shirt.
"The truth is that in the time that remains our fans will suffer. "
Brazilians are much better With those thighs so black
"Collovati lets her bounce."
- Let's see if Paolo Rossi doesn't disappoint us. - Won't he be pissed off because we watch the game?
You can't do any more than you already are.
Come on, come on!
He shoots!
To the center, to the center! Goal!
No goal.
Sorry, but in jail they catch certain vices.
Look what I've become.
In a catacomb under the Fontanone.
Dressed in the clothes of a parliamentarian of the Christian Democracy,
and football fan.
Fall lower, impossible. - Easy, everyone is upstairs with the TV.
My husband with the police. - Carabinieri?
I'm screwed then!
Sorry, but what is best for me he is declaring me a political prisoner.
No, they are because it has had a breakdown the car of a security captain.
Security? Fucked!
Not at all, they're just trying to fix the car.
Imagine, They are all in front of the TV.
Holy Virgin! But if you are shaking ...
Well of course I tremble. I would have to get out immediately.
No way, here you are in the safest place!
Yes, yes, sure: with the police, a Captain of Security ...
If I had a machine gun in good condition I could go upstairs and make a massacre.
A massacre is a saying.
I shoot, I charge 3 � 4, later I confess, I regret it,
I take advantage of the benefits of the law of repentant and I fall for two years.
But this submachine gun shit don't fire I'm more drunk than the ciborium
And you, come fill me with broth.
Do not torment yourself.
You were
so in love
of me.
Did you see a Gigi ...
I did everything to look like to the Gigi that I read in your eyes.
But I never had the courage to ...
They always reminded me those of the hard sector:
"This is not for you, Gigi Pedrinelli."
Damn!
P, 2 ...
And nothing!
Maria Theresa, what are you doing?
Don't you see it? I skate on ice.
What the hell do you want someone to do who is tampering with a safe?
Stealing from her own home. Normal! May I ask you why?
- Because I need money. - And cry, cry.
Maria Theresa, when are you going to grow up?
Whenever she opens her mouth she says banalities.
Never a phrase on purpose or an original thought.
Always so gray with everything! - The bullshit begins.
What sense can it make try to break into our safe?
Do you need something? Ask for it, I have never denied you anything.
Well yeah, look, I need 50 million.
- 50 million? - See? Negative.
It is that so, suddenly ..., not even in the box there are 50 million.
Liar! Tell me the combination.
And you tell me what you need 50 million for.
Yes, of course, very nice! It's amazing!
Oh, I don't want to ...!
When I think that I don't have no one with whom ...
Vincenzo, Why didn't you grant me a divorce?
Because I am a Christian Democrat.
In addition, What about divorce now?
Was it not because of the betrayal? - Always on the go with the horns!
Everything about you is a comedy!
Comedy me? What about you? Maybe you have forgotten when you,
Mrs. De Andreiis, married to a parliamentarian,
in front of Montecitorio, she screamed: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's abort DC!"
That's right, let's abort DC!
When MP Travaglini said: "Madame De Andreiis, at your feet",
and I kissed your hand, and you: "My uterus is mine and I manage it. "A shame!
When that of Montecitorio, I looked at the ground in shame.
What had to embarrass you are the pockets full of your colleagues,
and not feminism, which is clean, while your hands drip blood.
Yes, they gush from clandestine abortions and of sexist violence.
Mine is a comedy, right?
For years I have seen around this house students, hairy,
metropolitan Indians, rebellious birds.
You will never understand which was a great time.
In '75, "Executioner of the State"; in '76, "Silly, silly, silly!";
In '77, "From Andreiis, you idiot, it's time for you to go. "
And then, on top! "Palace servant, hanging from the clapper. "
Vulgar and especially rude.
If mine is a comedy,
What's your thing, a greek tragedy? Aeschylus?
Enough! We have not spoken for years, years without even touching us,
and today that you are at home for all those people, you go out with what
"Maria Theresa, Why don't we ever talk? "
Look, Vincenzo, you always suspected that someone in the shadows hindered your career.
Well, that someone is me! - What are you?
- Don't go around repeating what I say. - So, if I understood correctly,
It's about horns or politics. - Both.
- Both! - Don't repeat my words, De Andreiis!
- And you don't call me by my last name. - Rosa Luxemburg.
In the haze of your knowledge history, does it sound like something to you?
Well, I'm Rosa L.
�Rosa L.?
I thought it was a whiskey brand.
�Rosa L.?
No, who is he? - Who is he!
I don't know if you ask me if with him I have participated in the armed struggle
or I have only supported him.
So he's the escapee!
The Gigi Berardinelli that! - Gigi Pedrinelli!
-But if he was a ... - Do not be vulgar or say banalities.
... a cuckold, a poor bastard. 50 million means that ...
- Combination, you mean. - No.
What he means is something very vulgar: that you are a great whore.
That gentleman ...
That gentleman is someone that is paying for everyone.
For a generation that he has lost his memory.
Because he, me, you, the books, The newspapers, we would be supporters,
sympathizers and even accomplices.
Complicit? But what do you say? Are you crazy?
Do you dare to imply that I ...? - Yes, accomplices!
I remember perfectly that one night You said, "Who knows?"
- "Who knows", me? - Yes, "who knows".
Now everything has been forgotten, like dog poop that is buried.
No, De Andreiis, how disgusting, we should have divorced then
because Gigi has been locked up for 5 years and I've been in love with him for 10.
Enough already! Here!
How is it possible? A human reaction!
Okay, okay, I'm done!
Give me the combination at once.
It is not a robbery because everything what's inside is my family.
And you would be able to sell us everyone to the market for 1,000 lire.
A monster! You see me as a monster!
All right, open the box.
Well give me the fucking combination.
Undersecretariat.
I should have imagined it.
How had I not thought of it? The last word ...
- Maria Theresa, don't leave me. - Take your paws off, De Andreiis.
Do not call me De Andreiis, and less with contempt, which is also your name.
- Yes, bye. - I forget everything. I forgive everything.
I admit that I have been wrong. You know, politics is a stepmother.
But i'm willing to start from scratch, Maria Theresa.
- How is the dollar now? - A thousand quin ... What do you say, M. Theresa?
Enough, De Andreiis, if I get it I'll get off to Brazil and you are free from the traitor.
- With the escapee? No way! - Yes, De Andreiis. What do you care?
- I care a lot, Maria Theresa. - But come...
With your Parliament, your Undersecretariat. Get out of my way, I'm the traitor.
I sink your race! - I don't care about my career.
Stay with me, Maria Theresa. - What are these, German marks?
- Yes, German marks. - Damn, there are even Australian dollars.
You don't believe me, do you? It's fair.
It's fair, you're right.
Maria Theresa, I entrust you the most secret of my secrets:
You know who's in the armored car from our garage?
The Minister of the Interior!
Who?
The Minister of the Interior, the man who stopped me,
the one who aborted my appointment, carries since 9 o'clock locked up like a beast.
With just that you send it to me, I go and spit on him.
But the Minister of the Interior is locked in the armored car?
Give me a signal and I spit on him.
No thanks!
- A signal ... - Thanks.
Hush, you have the list of Swiss accounts, De Andreiis!
I spit on him.
"Gigi Pedrinelli Battalion. Press release number X.
"We vindicate the armored car act against the Minister of the Interior,
"in Calle de la Fontanone, 11 B,
"in the house of the Christian Democrat deputy Vincenzo De Andreiis.
"Gigi Pedrinelli Battalion, Combatants United for the Workers' Struggle. "
Sorry, but the acronym for Combatants United for the Workers' Struggle they are ASS.
Don't fuck around ...! Well better, This is also a provocation.
But what provocation! An acronym like ASS is something vulgar.
In jail they have become very snobbish.
If you look at the literary forms: we fuck it with cigarette paper.
So let's think. - We don't have time to think:
If the car opens, we are screwed.
So I write about "Gigi Brigade Pedrinelli ... ", I take out some copies and walk!
- It's the end! - Why?
It's the end. Maria Theresa is an activist.
Terrorism, you understand? And he laughs ... Sure, she's high!
Quit smoking, do�a Sofia. - No. You smoke too, Vincenzino.
That, and I also wear a shot of heroin.
Stop with that cannon!
What a disaster!
I was shaking every time I opened a newspaper that spoke of university riots
for fear of my crazy daughter. Now enough: I smoke.
I smoke! - With how nice she was before
with his ailments of arteriosclerosis. Now she's gotten worse.
Enough with these children, so many years of worry.
You know what she told me the powerless of my daughter,
your wife for all these years ?: Burger!
For her, worse than a whore.
Because I represent society that destroys, that pollutes the waters,
the air and nature. And since I don't I knew, anguish has seized me.
That is why I claim for my headlines to 5 columns in newspapers like El Espresso
o Panorama: "Drug!"
- For charity! - Yes, drug!
"Story of a grandmother dead of overdose. "
Yes, but not here. At Villa Borghese, please.
(He sings in Neapolitan dialect.)
Magnificent! What a temperament!
But I would tell him that this is not the best time to sing a song.
Also you with a joint? No Please.
- You have induced her! - Finally!
Oh, what news! The minister, my husband, locked in an iron box!
No!
Here the Gigi Pedrinelli Brigade.
The communiqué ... No, communiqué X is in the street of Il Fontanone,
corner ... Towards the Gianicolo.
25 seconds!
- Come on! - Maria Theresa.
Lack of conviction. They have no claw.
And the final whistle. Result: 1 to 1.
- What a cuckold referee! - And so much!
That penalty is even seen by a blind man.
A blind man yes, but a cuckold no.
- Come. - No.
- Let's go. - No.
Ma'am, excuse me.
Excuse me, Excellency, annoying? - Yes.
- Have you heard? - Don't bother him.
- Oh, the Virgin! Excuse me, Excellency. - Polpettina mine, sweetie!
But what are you doing here? - Nothing, ma'am.
- Then go. - Can not.
- How can he not? Go away. - I can't, it's just that I ...
The handcuffs?
It's okay, dad, it's a game. I have thrown away the key and so we are promised.
But what do you say? Ma'am i'm aware of not being up to the task, but she ...
- Of course not! - Why, dad?
Promise to a policeman! It is not by you, but, excuse me, this is not the time.
I will understand that at this moment ... Take that wife away from him.
Your mother... Where is your mother?
Quick, the Japanese she has the brain.
Guys, the phone it does not reach the shed.
We will have to make a chain. - Ma'am!
- Have you seen my wife? - The Japanese is online from Hamburg.
- But I'm looking for my wife. - It's just not the time.
It is the largest electronic brain of the world.
- Who knows where he will be. -We are going to be able to get the Excellency out of him.
I care about his excellence a pepper!
Crisafulli, there are moments in life in which the scale of values ​​changes.
The most important things they are emptied of meaning.
Parallel convergences, alternative models,
the advanced platform ... Compromises are great bullshit
when your wife leaves
But why?
He was such a sweet creature.
Then I must tell you.
She has noticed. Her Excellency always told me
that you were an idiot. - And he was very right.
- Frame, blue light. - Frame, blue light.
Rotate green lever 45 degrees to the right and below.
Lever 45, down.
The lever. That. Down. Press.
Press.
A blue light will come on
located on the left under the dashboard.
A blue light would have to come on located on the left
under the dashboard.
A blue light will come on at the left under the dashboard.
- It's lit up! - It's lit up!
The blue light!
- It's lit up! - It's lit up!
Eureka!
Omega?
The blue light has come on!
Nothing? But how that nothing?
What has the Omega factor triggered? - Victory!
Where are we? - The Omega factor has jumped.
- Good! - There was a probability over 5 million.
According to the electronic brain, when it jumps the Omega factor, the process is irreversible.
- Isn't it going to open? - It won't open!
It is the end, it will not open.
How?
LIPOLILIZED?
- Lipolysized? - Lipolyzed! It is a destructive process:
fat cells that engulf and isolate the other cells.
It's over. Locked up forever says the Omega factor.
One case in every 5 million.
God help us! Let's wait for it!
How are they? - They sleep.
- Go have a coffee. - Let's go.
It's the end.
I can't get it out of the body I have been with His Excellency for 19 years.
- Are you also crying now? - Excuse me.
- Take. - Thanks. Something has been dropped.
- But ... ma'am! - I am hungry.
Imagine, after 24 hours of fasting at least this is rice paper.
Excuse me
The culprits!
Pautasso!
Captain Pautasso!
Something very serious! A catastrophe!
I hate that there are infiltrators even among the parliamentarians ...
Do you understand? The car will not reopen.
The minister is practically dead and you loaded it!
Dead...
Tomorrow, in all the newspapers, Gigi Pedrinelli on the front page.
And them, those who remain in jail,
full of regrets for having you undervalued and despised,
they will cheer you.
- Yes, but later? - After? Look!
Look how much money! Tunisia, Brazil, me and you, my love.
Goodbye, Maria Theresa.
Yes, yes ...!
- Another fucking slip! -Sure, she's broken.
Don't plot anything against me, that Gigi does shoot.
Cruel, huh? Cruel to the end ...
Well she looks, I can not live without you.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha scene à la De Andreiis!
Gigi did it before you in jail. -She did what?
Try to commit suicide, poor thing, for love.
- He too? - Yes.
- And now, by the way ... - No, you idiot!
That's how you leave me as a plagiarist!
Take charge, at least. And you, Maria Theresa, watch out for that tone.
If he tries to commit suicide, "My poor dear, treasure ..."
I commit suicide "Be careful with dirtying the carpet."
It's unfair, Maria Theresa.
Farinelli, do your duty. Shoot me.
No stories. Total, I'm a mess.
A disaster? No, since the word, let's use it: I'm an asshole.
- Since you say so, me too. - But I am without comparison.
I am a failure, a disaster. - Come on, ma'am,
I'm an anthology asshole!
And I'm going to show you: I'm not an escapee
there was a car accident when they transfer me
from Poggioreale to Civitavecchia
and I saw myself on the street for simple good luck.
- You didn't tell me that ... - I didn't tell you.
Do you want another proof? - No.
- I have more. - I do not believe you.
No, no, I tell you. Do you see the submachine gun? Well, it's a Kalashnikov.
Well, it's broken. And do you know why? Because I bought it
and they ripped me off.
- You're spoiling everything. - Why?
It is that if you say yourself that it does not shoot, so the companions were right
when they told me what will happen to you because you didn't deserve me.
- Indeed, I am an asshole. - Well yes!
That's it.
And that these ladies turn into black panthers ...!
They like to go wild.
Don't you see that the poor boy are you more dejected than me?
What difference does it make that the guns don't work?
He has understood that I want disappear, that I must die.
What if you change your mind later? We had to escape from here!
We had to flee.
You two?
Well. If that makes you happy, I agree.
Gun in the neck, we will leave this garden
I will escort you to Fiumicino and there my boat will wait for you.
It is my mother's boat.
It will be my last proof of love.
What proof or proof! You know very well that the weapon does not work.
But those of the carabinieri are.
Do you realize what character, Veronelli? He hates me!
Not even committing suicide would be enough with her.
Maria Theresa, let me make you happy.
Do you accept that I give you that gift? - I don't want presents!
I do not want dispensations, they make me nauseous, not much less sacrifices.
However, I do.
Here, honey. Excuse me, ma'am, If you allow me, I would accept.
You shouldn't be breaking your balls without offense.
Your husband seems generous to me, civilized, it seems a lord to me.
So are you, Ferdinelli. Thanks.
He is nice in tragedy glimpse a wisp of civility.
If he agrees, I will explain my plan.
I'll point the gun at the back of my neck.
My wife will wait for us in the garden.
No, she stick it to the side of her.
Excuse me, but isn't this suit mine?
Come, there are no caribinians around here. The Car keys are on the dashboard.
Remove the alarm from the entrance. We enter in the garage. Lower the gun!
But there are the carabinieri and those of Security.
What if someone, to become the hero, shoots? - I'm the one who's going to play the hero.
When is it going to be presented to me? a better chance?
You will ask for 10 hours of time, that if you don't kill me.
I will then beg for my skin.
So they will open the door for us and we will take the car to Fiumicino.
Pautasso will communicate with the Central, but 10 hours will be enough to reach
offshore waters. Naturally, as a hostage,
you will have to take me with you at least to Africa.
Let's go. - Agree.
Prudence, huh? Goodbye
- Bye. - Bye.
Hey!
Hey, calm down!
A little calm.
Let's try to calm down a bit! - I will disembark you on Pantelleria Island.
- Come on, Feltrinelli. - Ma'am, my name is Pedrinelli.
Say it right for once.
- This, is the tagline "dare" still used? - No, it has been disused for a long time.
Ancient, ancient person,
full of fountains, courtesan.
She dromedary, air, air.
Habanera!
Sunken, full of bottom.
Seductive, curvy.
Tawny.
Habanera
Habanera!
Subs. by David (2019)