1 00:00:00,210 --> 00:00:04,470 hey what's up Stefanie the English coach here from EnglishFullTime.com 2 00:00:04,470 --> 00:00:08,068 in this video we're gonna talk about something that is pretty controversial 3 00:00:08,069 --> 00:00:12,690 I'm gonna go ahead and give my opinion and my take my view on this whole 4 00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:18,330 subject and you can do whatever you want whatever works for you but it's 5 00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:22,409 important so let's get into it okay so here's the deal when you meet 6 00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:28,740 someone and you introduce yourself how do you say your name because a lot of 7 00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:34,649 people say their name in their native language and this unfortunately is very 8 00:00:34,649 --> 00:00:40,050 confusing for your listener if you are speaking to somebody who speaks a 9 00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:43,500 different language than you do so first of all if you are a non-native English 10 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:47,430 speaker and you are introducing yourself to an English speaker and you're 11 00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:52,440 introducing yourself in English the expectation would be that you introduce 12 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:59,489 yourself and your name in an English speaking type of way a way that native 13 00:00:59,489 --> 00:01:02,849 English speakers will understand and what a lot of English language learners 14 00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:09,450 do is they don't do this what they do is they say hi my name is and then they say 15 00:01:09,450 --> 00:01:14,460 their name in their native tongue right and what that does is it makes the 16 00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:17,520 native English speaker go I'm sorry what was that 17 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:23,850 or can you repeat that please or I'm sorry how do you say that it creates a 18 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:29,039 rather awkward situation and then rather than continuing the conversation and 19 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:33,150 talking about whatever you were going to talk about you end up explaining your 20 00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:36,900 name for the next five minutes and where you're from and your family history and 21 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:41,850 all of that stuff okay so if you ever get tired of those conversations chances 22 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:46,320 are part of it happens because you're introducing yourself in a way that is 23 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:50,850 screaming hi I'm a foreigner I'm not from here and it makes people kind of 24 00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:55,199 curious as to what your background is okay so there's some other problems 25 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,520 associated with this and we'll get into that but that that's I guess that's my 26 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:04,350 intro okay so the main idea that I want to share here is that when people ask 27 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:10,019 you what's your name they're not actually asking you what is the name 28 00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:15,310 that your parents called you when were born that's not what the question 29 00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:20,500 is the question is actually what should I call you okay and that's actually 30 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,980 really really important because if somebody is saying hey what's your name 31 00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:28,929 but really they're saying what should I call you if you answer in your native 32 00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:34,360 tongue okay that's actually an unfair expectation you can't expect them to 33 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,690 pronounce your name in your native tongue because they don't speak your 34 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:42,609 native tongue and you are the ones speaking their native tongue right so my 35 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:48,370 rule of thumb is this when you speak a language say your name in that language 36 00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:53,080 so either say your name in the accent of that language or change your name 37 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:58,510 completely so that people of that language can know what they should call 38 00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:02,920 you now a lot of people have huge problems with this and they actually get 39 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,850 really offended maybe I offended some people just now but they say oh my gosh 40 00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:11,109 what no my name is my identity this is the name that my parents gave me this is 41 00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:15,880 who I am and I honestly just kind of feel like 42 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,720 when people say stuff like that maybe you haven't traveled enough or at all 43 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,930 and I know that sounds harsh but it's true because or maybe you haven't 44 00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:26,890 interacted with enough people from different cultures because once you 45 00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:32,410 encounter this problem again and again and again and again and again and people 46 00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:38,320 cannot say your name that's when you realize hmm maybe it's not about me and 47 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,400 my name maybe it's about making the other person feel comfortable and 48 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:47,980 helping them know what they should call me plus it's kind of cool to take on 49 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:51,880 multiple identities if you will and have you know different names for different 50 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,930 groups of people and we have this actually in real life already it's like 51 00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:59,590 your family has nicknames for you but at work they call you something else and 52 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:03,910 maybe at school something else I don't know and growing up the same thing 53 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:08,019 happened to me at school I had my regular name Stefanie my family called 54 00:04:08,019 --> 00:04:12,970 me Stef or Stefie sometimes my mom called me Stefie J which was a 55 00:04:12,970 --> 00:04:15,850 combination of my first name and my middle name 56 00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:20,890 name is Janelle so the J from Janelle she would call me Stefie J and then on 57 00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:25,780 my water polo teams my my teammates would call me by my last name okay so we 58 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:30,070 have we actually in real life we have multiple names that we use and they 59 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:33,490 serve different purposes and different functions right depending on the group 60 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:37,390 of people that were with the environment that we're with the expectations that we 61 00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:41,830 have okay so now let me tell you what my experience was like when I went to 62 00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:46,090 Argentina in Argentina they speak Spanish right and I can't introduce 63 00:04:46,090 --> 00:04:52,419 myself like hola me llamo Stefanie right I can't go from Spanish to English 64 00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:59,970 because people would be like if he if they honey okay right they don't say 65 00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:05,920 Stefanie in Spanish that's not how they say it in Spanish they say Estefania 66 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:11,350 okay or Estef actually they don't really call me Estef okay they would say 67 00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:17,620 Estefi right okay now if I think about that in English Estefi I'm like oh my 68 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:22,540 gosh that is not who I am I am NOT Estefi like that sounds weird but I am 69 00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:27,340 Estefi in Spanish that's who I am and that's what my name is because that's 70 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:31,359 how it translates and that's how it's easy for everybody to say my name if I 71 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:36,100 required everybody to say my name with my native accent that would be confusing 72 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:41,920 and if I introduced myself all the time with my native English accent that would 73 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:46,360 be confusing as well and that would make other people feel uncomfortable so what 74 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:50,800 I have found works for me and what I encourage my students to do is learn how 75 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:55,210 to say your name in English learn how to say it with an English accent so when 76 00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:59,710 people go hey what's your name you can just tell them your name and move on to 77 00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:03,190 whatever it is that you're going to talk about because I'm sure your name is not 78 00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:07,690 the most important thing that they're there to discuss right now I say this is 79 00:06:07,690 --> 00:06:13,030 controversial because not everybody agrees with this point of view and my 80 00:06:13,030 --> 00:06:16,989 husband does not agree with this point of view one day you guys are gonna meet 81 00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:20,020 Renzo on this channel he's awesome but this is I think this is hilarious 82 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:24,039 because I stand by this opinion so strongly and my own husband doesn't 83 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:29,080 agree with me my husband's like no this is my name and this is how I want to 84 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:34,599 introduce myself and that's fine if he likes introducing himself his name with 85 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:39,310 a Spanish accent to English speakers then he can do that but what I've 86 00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:42,910 observed because I've seen this happen so many times and I'm just like babe why 87 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:47,770 do you keep doing this like don't you get tired of it basically people say hey 88 00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:54,039 what's your name and he goes Renzo and they're like what Renzo and then 89 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:59,410 he eventually after saying his name a couple times he goes but you can call me 90 00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:04,840 Renzo or Ren and they go oh okay okay okay Ren that's great 91 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:09,250 because that's what people are truly asking they're not really asking what 92 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:13,660 your name is they're saying what can I call you because we we've been given 93 00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:18,669 names so that we can know what to call people around us right for what other 94 00:07:18,669 --> 00:07:22,719 people can call us so anyhow I have had this conversation with Ren so many 95 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,990 times I'm just like babe when you're with English speakers and they ask what 96 00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:29,830 your name is just say your name is Ren you know how to say Ren and native 97 00:07:29,830 --> 00:07:35,229 English speakers do not use the "R" sound okay they can't roll their tongue very 98 00:07:35,229 --> 00:07:40,300 well or at least a lot of them and it's just awkward and and not only that but 99 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,850 they don't know how to perceive the sound because they're not used to 100 00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:47,050 hearing it so when they hear what I saw they're not sure what they're hearing 101 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,590 and automatically their brain is going like oh my gosh I don't understand this 102 00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:56,080 I need to make sense of this what did he just say okay and people freak out and 103 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:00,609 it's uncomfortable so back when I used to do private English classes I don't do 104 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:03,490 private classes anymore one of the first things that I would ask 105 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:07,060 the students is what's your name so we can get to know each other and they 106 00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:10,690 would almost always tell me their name in their native language and every 107 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,990 single time I would have to have this conversation with them where it's like 108 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:20,500 okay what should I call you because I don't want to understand your name I 109 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,440 don't know how to say it I don't feel comfortable making those sounds in 110 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,580 English this is an English class you're speaking with an English speaker this is 111 00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:32,289 not your native tongue so what should I call you and then we'd have to have this 112 00:08:32,289 --> 00:08:35,360 whole conversation I would have to let them know look 113 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,599 basically this entire YouTube video that's why I'm making this YouTube video 114 00:08:38,599 --> 00:08:41,929 because I've told this to so many people already that I'm like I'll just make a 115 00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:46,729 video about it but basically if you want to have that conversation about where 116 00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:49,550 you're from and your name and blah blah blah and talk about that for five 117 00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:54,439 minutes then go ahead and say your name in your native language but if you want 118 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,980 to just say your name and quickly move on with the conversation then learn how 119 00:08:57,980 --> 00:09:04,010 to say your name in an English way okay using English sounds so I will give you 120 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:09,319 a quick example of this in Spanish if someone's name is Andrea okay and that I 121 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:13,430 add that's hard for an English speaker to say I speak Spanish so I can say it 122 00:09:13,430 --> 00:09:17,870 but instead of saying hi my name is Andrea okay which is difficult for an 123 00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:23,480 English speaker you could say hi my name is Andrea Andrea instead of forcing all 124 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:29,390 of the people around you to learn how to say Andrea you can learn to say Andrea 125 00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:38,000 Andrea you can say Andrea or Andrea or Andrea or Andrea whatever you like like 126 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,839 that's the cool part about it you can kind of say it the way you want to say 127 00:09:41,839 --> 00:09:47,209 it but you're making it easier for people around you now I've rambled on 128 00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:50,869 and on and on about this for several minutes as if this is a new thing but 129 00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:54,470 this is actually not new and I discovered this when I had lots of 130 00:09:54,470 --> 00:10:01,279 students from Asia because as you guys know students in China Japan etc the 131 00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:05,839 languages they speak and the sounds that they make if you want a native English 132 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,810 speaker to say those sounds it's like forget it there's no way 133 00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:14,329 okay we can't read the language we can't understand the sounds so a lot of native 134 00:10:14,329 --> 00:10:19,099 speakers from these countries especially professionals they have two names they 135 00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:22,579 have their English name and they have their name that they were given at birth 136 00:10:22,579 --> 00:10:27,019 okay and so when I do classes with these students and I say what's your name they 137 00:10:27,019 --> 00:10:32,089 say oh you can call me Jennifer or you can call me Emily or my English name is 138 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:37,279 Jennifer my English name is Emily okay whatever it is that's very common and I 139 00:10:37,279 --> 00:10:41,180 love that because it's like okay boom I can call you Emily great let's move on 140 00:10:41,180 --> 00:10:44,079 let's talk about what we're here to talk about now this 141 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:49,000 is especially important in professional environments and a lot of professionals 142 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:55,810 take on an English name if they are working with English speakers okay 143 00:10:55,810 --> 00:11:00,790 because again it just eliminates a barrier right if your name is so 144 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:05,829 different and so strange in the English language that people don't know how to 145 00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:11,680 say it at all that creates a barrier and I actually have a friend who started a 146 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:16,750 resume writing company he's the CEO of the company and I was talking to him 147 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:21,850 about this one day and he said yeah sometimes people in HR they get so just 148 00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:26,080 nervous about you know calling people that have weird names that they might 149 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,830 just look at your resume and move it to the back of the list and save you for 150 00:11:29,830 --> 00:11:32,080 last they might contact you last or not at 151 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:36,850 all just because they're like I don't even know what this person's name is or 152 00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:40,120 how to say it and it makes them uncomfortable and people are gonna do 153 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:46,810 what's easiest first right so is that fair no but it's the way that it is so 154 00:11:46,810 --> 00:11:51,969 we have to observe these things realize that they exist and then just decide 155 00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:55,630 accordingly if you want to be like Renzo and make everybody try to pronounce your 156 00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:58,660 name the way it is in your native language you can do that just like he 157 00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:02,680 does that and if you want to take my advice and just learn how to say your 158 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,339 name in English the way an English speaker would say it or create a new 159 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:10,090 name for yourself entirely you can do that too at the end of the day all 160 00:12:10,090 --> 00:12:16,200 behavior creates reactions right and more behavior and it's just gonna be 161 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:21,700 you're doing something and people are gonna figure out how to handle it so as 162 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:27,940 long as you're aware of what's going on in other people's minds etc then you can 163 00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:34,030 decide what is the best way for you to handle this but again my advice is learn 164 00:12:34,030 --> 00:12:40,209 how to say your name in English and/or adopt an English name for yourself just 165 00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:43,690 because it makes things a lot easier right it's like hey what's your name 166 00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:47,020 boom you tell me your name great let's move on with the conversation and 167 00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:50,590 there's no weirdness or awkwardness or anything like that 168 00:12:50,590 --> 00:12:55,320 okay so like said kind of controversial hopefully 169 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,710 nobody got offended because we looked at this from all different angles and like 170 00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:02,250 I said you can do whatever you want okay and with that said I just want to let 171 00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:06,690 you guys know that we are working on a complete pronunciation course and if 172 00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:10,530 you're interested in that just go to the description there's a sign-up link for 173 00:13:10,530 --> 00:13:14,310 anybody who's interested in joining me on the beta version of this course the 174 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:18,030 beta version is going to be the first round of the course where I test 175 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:21,990 everything with the students I can only accept a small number of students in the 176 00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:26,040 beta version but like I said if you're interested go ahead and sign up on the 177 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:30,599 pre-registration list just so you know when it's ready I'm really excited about 178 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,980 it and it's gonna solve problems like this like you know knowing how to say 179 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:39,090 your name and an english-speaking way and stuff like that alright so that's it 180 00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:42,780 you guys and I hope you learned something in this video let me know what 181 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:47,430 you think what your opinion is down in the comments and if you want tell us 182 00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:53,339 your name right so we can see is this a strange name would we have problems 183 00:13:53,340 --> 00:13:57,660 pronouncing this in English or not there was one time you guys I kid you not I 184 00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:02,760 got an email from somebody named HarS#!t may even have to beep out that name on 185 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,960 the audio because sometimes YouTube doesn't like when we cuss and there is a 186 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:14,040 cuss word in that name it's Har$#!t okay now for an English speaker that is 187 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:18,060 strange right I wouldn't want to go around introducing myself as hi my name 188 00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:23,250 is Har$#!t right and I mean no offense absolutely no offense to anybody with 189 00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:27,510 that name or anything like that it's just that a word in one language might 190 00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:30,630 mean something completely different in another language and we need to be aware 191 00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:35,220 of that and sensitive to it because it can create a lot of embarrassment for 192 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:40,560 people a lot of issues and see now I'm I need to stop this video because I'm 193 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,800 going on and on and on there's so much I could say about this anyways I hope you 194 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:48,180 guys get my point let me know what you think in the comments and yeah I hope 195 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:51,439 this helps take care bye