纽核力 终极格斗锦标赛
打扰下 请问这位子有人坐吗 Pardon me, is that seat taken?
盖文你啊 Oh, Gavin.
典型的盖文玩笑 Classic Gavin.
希望他们搞砸 Well, let's hope this sucks.
太好了 莫妮卡刚好赶上 Oh, good. Monica made it just in time.
卡尔拉 看来从现在起 Carla, looks like you won't
你不再是这屋里唯一的女性了 be the only woman in the house for a change.
老天 Christ.
比作为公司中唯一女性更糟的 One thing worse than being the only woman in a company
-就是公司里只有两位女性 -为什么 -is being one of only two. -Why's that?
所有人都会莫名其妙地希望你们成为朋友 Everybody puts this super-weird pressure on you to be friends.
-特别恶心 -我错过了吗 -It's creepy. -Hey, did I miss it?
-没 -太好了 -No. -Good.
莫妮卡 我想介绍卡尔拉给你认识 Monica, I'd like to introduce you to Carla.
卡尔拉 这位是莫妮卡 Carla, Monica.
莫妮卡 这位是卡尔拉 Monica, Carla.
-你好吗 -很高兴认识你 -What's up? -Nice to meet you.
我就知道你们俩会合得来 I knew you two would hit it off.
莫妮卡 Hey. Monica?
-要开始了 -今晚 有史以来第一次 -It's starting. -Tonight, for the first time ever,
在网上现场直播4K分辨率的 streaming live in 4K resolution over the internet,
终极格斗锦标赛之夜 UFC Fight Night,
由'纽核力'提供技术支持 powered by Nucleus!
不用电视网 没有运营商 不扯淡 No networks. No more middleman. No bullshit.
我们要将格斗直接呈现在粉丝眼前 We're bringing the fights straight to the fans.
有了终极格斗锦标赛格斗通 We're cutting the cord forever
我们将永远告别有线 with UFC Fight Pass,
由'纽核力'提供技术支持 powered by Nucleus.
今晚 你们将通过终极分辨率 Tonight, you'll get ultimate fighting
终极格斗
观看终极格斗 at the ultimate resolution.
终极分辨率
纽核力将4K超清视频 Nucleus puts 4K UHD video
无损压缩
通过无损压缩锁喉为您呈现 in a lossless compression chokehold
让所有竞争者一败涂地 and forces the competition to tap out.
一败涂地
-傻逼透了 -看来他很爱打碎东西 -Who's douchebag? -He sure likes to break stuff.
我们在拉斯维加斯现场直播 We are live in Las Vegas.
画面看起来棒极了 The picture looks amazing.
乔 这场格斗我们已经期待了 Man, Joe, this is a fight we've been looking forward to
很久很久了 for a long, long time.
是埃利希太醉人了 Are we getting a contact high off Erlich,
还是画面边缘开始不清晰了 or is the edge starting to warble?
我也发现了 他们把画面降低到24帧了吗 No, I see it. Are they converting down to 24 frames?
防御很棒 The defense so far. Wow!
画面停顿不是'纽核力'造成的吧 The jerkiness is not a Nucleus issue, right?
全世界不会也看到停顿了吧 I mean, it's not going out to the world like that, is it?
我觉得看起来挺好的 I think it looks great.
你注意到摄像头摇走时画面抖动了吗 You see that frame judder as the camera pans?
画面分辨率太低 跟《我的世界》似的 The picture's so blocky. It looks like Minecraft.
这说不通啊 不应该是无损画质吗 It doesn't make sense, it's supposed to be totally lossless.
我把他们的比特流下载下来看看 Let me dump their bit stream to disk and take a look.
她真的很聪明 She's really smart.
但也开得起黄色笑话 But not afraid to be bawdy.
-我的天 -他们玩完了 -Oh, my God. -They are so fucked.
对啊 简直烂透了 Yeah, this is bad.
左拳出击 Attack with the left!
打中了 他倒地了 He's hurt! Wow, he's down!
他被打倒了 He's hit! Oh!
画面停滞了 It's frozen.
比赛就此结束 It is all over!
难以置信 Unbelievable!
自我观看格斗大赛起 从未见过 I have never, in all my years of watching fighting,
比这结尾时更摄人心魄的组合拳 seen a finishing combination more ferocious!
莫利纳完美地为本次格斗划上了句号 What a spectacular finish by Molina!
我们听说'纽核力'的在线直播 We're being told that the Nucleus live stream...
-妈的 -可能在数据传输时被切断了 -Fuck! -may have cut out during that exchange.
如果真是如此 那真是太可惜了 If that is true, what a travesty.
我操 Fuck!
第
二
季
第
六
集
硅
谷
盖文·贝尔森刚刚丢人丢大了 Gavin Belson just shit everyone's pants.
没错 他们的编码 He sure did. The encoding is
根本不足以掩盖所有瑕疵 totally underpowered to cover up their defects.
'纽核力'根本还没能力支持4K在线直播 Nucleus just can't keep up with 4K live stream yet.
'魔笛手'能搞定4K在线直播吗 Hey. Could Pied Piper handle live 4K video?
我现在就可以在线直播 I could deploy a live video stream
而且比他们强一百倍 that would be way better than theirs right now.
那就做吧 马上 做我们自己的直播系统 Jump on it. Now. Like, do our own live stream.
像盖文那样找个合作伙伴 Partner with someone like Gavin did.
看看你们俩 Look at you two.
等等 Hold on.
直播并不是我们当前的主要业务 Live streaming's not really our primary business here.
但打败纽核力是 博客们会为此疯狂的 Yeah, but beating Nucleus is. The blogs would go nuts.
我这边已经就绪 We're built for it on my end.
如果只让我负责输入输出 If it's just me hosting seeds and manifests,
那我这边也没问题 I'm good on my end.
我已经准备好将它公开出来炫耀炫耀了 I'm prepared to brag about it and release publicity.
点对点传输这块没问题 Well, peer-to-peer delivery is good to go here.
需要的话告诉我 Let me know.
卡尔拉 你想给莫妮卡展示下你的工作站吗 Oh, Carla, do you want to show Monica your work station?
不了 谢谢 No thanks.
好吧 但'互利'和终极格斗锦标赛有约 Okay, but Hooli had a deal with UFC
所以才有比赛可播 that would stream a fight.
我们播什么呢 我们也没那么多时间 What do we even do? Don't really have a lot of time here.
的确 That's real.
我们可以找一个已经开始的活动 We could find an event that's already in motion.
我能提个建议吗 Can I make a suggestion:?
有一对加州兀鹫在自然历史博物馆筑了巢 There is a nesting pair of California condors
正在被封闭饲养 on the closed-circuit feed at the Natural History Museum.
巢里现在有一个蛋 非常引人注目 There's an egg in the nest right now. It's very compelling.
不如我们来直播我杀你怎么样 Why don't we just live stream me killing you?
别急着拒绝 去年有一个 I wouldn't be so dismissive. There was a live stream
对老鹰巢的直播火得一塌糊涂 of an eagle's nest last year that went viral,
得到上百万点击量 and was getting millions of hits.
我不是要夸大其词 And I don't wanna be inflammatory,
但跟兀鹰比起来 but next to a condor,
老鹰看起来 就像只小鸟了 an eagle looks like a... common cackling.
去死吧 贾里德 我有办法了 Fuck that, Jared. I've got it.
我和艾伦·安德森是好朋友 I'm very good friends with Aaron Anderson.
双A 开'天杀能量饮料'的那个 Double-A? The guy who owns Homicide Energy Drink?
是'天杀的额外娘娘腔能量饮料'吗 Uh, is Homicide the extra douchey energy drink?
天杀 加勒比
当然是 It sure is.
它有一大堆绝技表演和疯狂之举 There's a bunch of stunts and crazy shit on here.
视频播放的质量太糟糕了 The video player quality is terrible.
这是个绝佳的合作伙伴 It's a perfect candidate.
而且双A很喜欢我 他一定会与我们合作的 And Double-A loves me. He'd definitely hook us up.
你怎么认识他的 How do you know him?
大学里认识的 他大二时候我大三 From college. He was a sophomore when I was a senior.
他和他室友住得离我不远 He and his roommates used to live down the hall.
我经常去他们那里开派对 I used to party in their room all the time.
有点像导师和学员的关系 kind of a mentor-mentee sort of thing.
我还以为是海牛之类的东西 Coming from a manatee sort of thing.
你看起来像个 You look like a ferret that
放弃人生六个月的雪貂 吉尔弗约尔 gave up on himself six months ago, Gilfoyle.
-我去联系下双A -等等 -I'm going to ping Double-A. -Wait...
他万一答应了怎么办 What if he says yes? You know?
我们真的就放弃一切来做这个吗 Are we really gonna drop everything to do this?
我们要是没做好怎么办 What if we don't get it right?
这会像挫败'互利'一样挫败我们 I mean, it could hurt us just like it hurt them.
妈的 我不知道 Shit. I don't know.
这很重要 理查德 This is critical, Richard.
也许我们该"斯沃特"一下这个决定 Maybe we should SWOT this decision.
虽然我不知道那是什么 但是不行 I don't know what that is, but no.
-斯沃特分析 -不行 -SWOT analysis. -No.
强-弱-危-机分析 真的不试试吗 S-W-O-T? No?
不是吧 Holy cow.
他刚刚说的是"不是吧"吗 Did he really just say "Holy cow"?
我已经为这种情况专门准备好了一个板子 I've had a board ready for just such an occasion.
我在这房子里设置了很多用于企业管理的东西 I've booby-trapped the house with corporate resources.
优势 劣势 机会 威胁
斯沃特分析是一种用来评估决策的方式 SWOT is a way of evaluating a decision.
你可以把它分解成"优势" And you just break it down into "Strengths,"
"劣势" "机会"和"威胁" "Weaknesses," "Opportunities," And "Threats."
-你他妈在开玩笑吧 -我没有 -You're fucking joking. -Not at all.
你可以"斯沃特"一个概念 You can SWOT a concept,
一间公寓 或者一个新想法 a department, or a new initiative.
你甚至可以"斯沃特"一个人 You can even SWOT a person,
不过你得小心他们反过来"斯沃特"你 although you have to be careful. They might SWOT you back.
-我想"斯沃特"你 -可以 -I wanna SWOT you. -Well, you can.
因为你现在有工具了 Because now you have the tools.
把你们的想法说出来 我会钉上去 Okay. Um, shout them out and I'll tack them up.
贾里德 我很抱歉 但我得走了 Jared, I'm really sorry, but I... I have to go.
你们看是不是这样更好些 You know, would it make more sense
我先想一些然后再告诉你们 if i worked something up and then I got back to you guys? And...
好吧 我来做吧 okay, great. I'm on it.
"人们喜爱兀鹰" "People love condors."
"优势" "Strengths."
在屋顶上 On top of the roof,
布莱恩会从这个斜坡出发 Blaine is gonna launch off this ramp.
很刺激 It's pretty gnarly.
一切顺利的话 他会飞过这条街 Everything goes right, he'll fly over this street
落在这栋15层高的建筑上 and land on this 15-story building here.
我们设置了27个摄像头 车内有两个 We've got 27 cameras, a couple in the car.
将实时编辑的图像传回这里的数据中心 Feed a live edit back here to the data center.
全部经由你无与伦比的压缩后 理查德 We put everything through your incredible compression, Richard,
进行网络直播 and up onto the web.
你觉得怎么样 理查德 So, what do you think, Richard?
我觉得简直太酷炫了 双A I think this is awesome, Double-A.
难以置信 I mean, it is incredible.
你简直就是酷炫的代名词 You really have built a giant monument to awesomeness.
帮助你成功正是激发我 I think my aid in helping you achieve
创立自己的孵化器的原因 this is what inspired me to start my own incubator.
理查德 你准备好了吗 So, Richard, you ready for this?
是的 应该准备好了 Oh, yeah. I think so. Yeah, uh...
双A 我们都亢奋了 Double-A, we are psyched.
需要什么尽管开口 And, uh, we can do whatever you need.
谢了 酷爱 Okay, thanks Kool-Aid.
酷爱是什么 你是酷爱吗 Kool-Aid? What's that? Are you Kool-Aid?
没错 只是好哥们间的称呼而已 Yeah, it's just a term of endearment.
就好比是昵称 我过去曾风光一时 You know, nickname, I used to rock it back in the day
因为我又酷又热心 'cause I was cool and supportive.
各位 这位是吉娜 Yeah. Oh, hey, guys, this is Gina,
她是我们的项目经理 she's one of our event managers.
吉娜 你能 Hey, uh, Gina, can you take
带迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔去数据中心吗 Dinesh and Gilfoyle to the data center, please?
当然 跟我来吧 Sure. You wanna follow me?
给帽子就走 吉娜 Only if we get hats, Gina.
那戴我的吧 You can just take mine.
看到没 她把自己的帽子给我了 Did you see that? She gave me her hat.
别跟从没见过女人似的 Pretend you've seen a woman before.
那些天杀饮料是免费的吗 Are those Homicide drinks for free?
没错 尽情喝吧 Yeah. Knock yourself out.
天杀 Homicide!
有没有办法 Is there any way that it could be
让我和你谈 而不是和埃利希 maybe more like just you and me talking, and not Erlich?
什么意思 你们不是朋友吗 What do you mean? Aren't you guys friends?
我以为你们交情很深 I thought you go way back.
话是没错 但是... We do. But...
说实话 我一直受不了他 To be honest, I could never stand the guy.
光是再听到他的声音就让我得创伤应激障碍了 I mean, just hearing his voice again is giving me PTSD.
是吗 但你刚说他酷 Right. But you just called him cool.
不 我说的是酷爱 我们都这么叫 No, I called him Kool-Aid. We all did.
-这样啊 -因为他就像广告里 -Right. -Because he's like the Kool-Aid pitcher
那个'酷爱'大水罐 from the ads.
每次我们出去玩不带他 As in, every fucking time we were hanging out without him,
他都会疯狂地来找我们 he'd come smashing through a wall.
但你们还是跟他一起玩啊 But you still hung out with him.
那是因为我们才19岁 Yeah, 'cause we were 19,
而他有大麻和啤酒 and he had weed and beer.
但就算我喝醉了嗑嗨了 我还是受不了他 But even drunk and high I couldn't take it.
好像让别人说话 I mean, it's like he's fucking allergic
他就会过敏似的 to letting other people talk.
他总是要插上几句 你懂吗 It's like he's always gotta say something. You know?
理查德 Hey, Richard.
天杀 Homicide!
迪尼希 我有个问题 So, Dinesh, I have a question.
你明显是个巴基斯坦人 You're obviously Pakistani,
但迪尼希是印度名字吧 but the name Dinesh is Indian, isn't it?
没错 完全正确 Yeah. Wow, that's... exactly right.
要知道 大多数人 那些无知的人 You know, most people, ignorant people,
都不知道那是两个独立的国家 don't even know those are two separate countries.
他们也不在意 And they don't care either.
你怎么知道我名字的事 How do you know about my name?
我是军人的孩子 I'm an Army brat.
在我小时候 我爸驻扎在卡拉奇 My dad was stationed in Karachi when I was a kid.
那地方很美 人也很美 It was a beautiful place. Full of beautiful people.
跟这个房间很相似 不是吗 Kind of like this room, right?
等一下 我马上回来 Oh, hold on a sec. I'll be right back.
别走太久哦 Oh, don't take too long.
太棒了 我不知道是不是因为这个饮料 This is awesome. I don't know if it's what's in this,
但这些调情金句不停涌到嘴边 but I have, like, all these killer lines coming to me.
我简直火力全开 她喜欢我 对吧 I'm on fucking fire right now. Oh! She likes me, right?
是啊 她完全喜欢上你了 Yeah, she's totally into you.
只是她更喜欢那个男人的嘴 Just not as into you as she is into that guy's mouth.
他一会肯定会干她 He's definitely gonna fuck her later,
而那时她可不会想着你 and she's not gonna think of you while it's happening.
该死 Goddamn it. Fuck.
我直哆嗦 这饮料里放什么了 Now I'm just shaking. What do they put in this shit?
奶蓟草吗 Milk thistle?
各位 过来 Hey, guys! Come out here!
朱丽叶叫你呢 Juliet calls.
各位 这是布莱恩 到时演特技的就是他 Guys, this is Blaine. He's the guy doing the stunt.
布莱恩 这些天才程序员 Blaine, these are the genius coders
会帮我们搞定网上直播 who are helping us with the live stream.
-他们可牛了 -知道了 -They're rock stars. -Okay.
你就开这辆车飞车吗 So this is the car you're jumping?
-是 -那就是匝道了吗 -Yes, it is. -And that's what your ramp's gonna look like?
起步速度
-是 -酷 不过 -Yeah. -Cool. Well, have you--
我知道你们要问 Yeah, and because I know that you're gonna ask,
没错 我不是第一次飞车了 yes, I've done this before.
我知道这很危险 And yes, it's fucking dangerous.
要成功我还好多事要做呢 Listen, I got a lot of work to do to get this right.
懂吗 Okay?
懂 Okay.
你也看出来了吗 Hey, you see what I saw?
是 他速度算错了 Yes, uh, he's got the velocity calculated wrong.
加速
他按平地算的 It's for a flat plane.
没考虑匝道的弧度 He doesn't account for the curve in the ramp.
没错 大概他以前都用平地起步 Exactly. He's probably used to doing straight ramps.
那图上写 I mean, the chart says
他要81迈起步飞跃 he's gonna launch at 81 miles per hour,
-但到时顶多 -不到70 -but it's going to be more like--Under 70.
下压力惊人 The downforce is ridiculous.
他会失速并且会撞墙的 He's gonna lose speed and hit the side of that wall.
-然后惨死 -所以我们是不是该... -And die. -So we should probably...
好吧 Okay. All right.
布莱恩 Hey, uh, Blaine?
-有件事 -够了 -One small thing. -No.
你们甭说了 小四眼 I'm gonna stop you right there, Glasses.
刚跟你们说过了 'Cause I told you once already,
清楚得很 and I was very clear.
我忙得很 没空哄你们 I am too fucking busy to deal with you.
好吗 大家都淡定点 Okay? I'm just being cool here.
好吗 All right?
-我们该怎么办 -不好说 -What do we do here? -This is a tough one.
理查德 播放器窗口 So, Richard, in terms of a player window,
你有什么想法 what do you see?
还挺简单的 Well, um, I think it's pretty straightforward.
交给我吧 理查德 I'll handle this, Richard.
-不用 -我们之所以做这个 -You don't have to. -The whole reason we're doing this,
就是为了宣传 friend, is for branding value.
所以在视频窗口下要加个横幅 So we're gonna need a banner that says
写上"由魔笛手提供支持" "Powered by Pied Piper" underneath the video window.
也不用太大 It doesn't have to be too big,
但也不能太窄 but you don't want it to be too small either.
但就我看来 双A哥们 Although, there's nothing small about Homicide,
天杀饮料就挺浮夸的 Double-A. At least as far as I can tell.
而且 如果可能的话 Also, if it's, if it's possible--
你先不要说了 理查德 Let me stop you right there, Richard.
我们要求在车身 布莱恩的衣服上 We're gonna need to have our logos
头盔上 都加上我们的标志 on the car, Blaine's suit, his helmet.
要是他想在脖子上 If he wants to get a Flash tattoo
纹个闪电什么 随他便 or something on his neck, that's on him.
说实话 埃利希 Actually, um, in all honesty, Erlich
刚把我要说的说了 just pretty much said exactly what I was gonna say.
好好 理查德 Uh-huh. Um, so, Richard...
-是 -是 -Yes? -Yeah?
预览窗口你觉得也能做到高清分辨率吗 Do you think you can make the preview window full resolution?
-可以 -理查德可以有求必应 -Um, yes--Richard can give you whatever you need.
但播放窗口... But as far as the video player goes...
各位 抱歉 我刚想起来我还有 Guys, I'm sorry. I just remembered that I've got somewhere...
别的事 else to be.
好的 双A 那就回头见 All right. Well, Double-A, I'll see you soon.
我就拿两件衣服 回头再说 I'm just gonna grab a shirt and we'll check you later.
搞什么鬼 我喜欢你们的技术 What the fuck, dude? Hey, I love your tech.
但明天别带酷爱来 But come back tomorrow without Kool-Aid,
不然就别来了 or don't come back at all.
我认真的 Honestly.
-理查德 怎么回事 -什么意思 -Richard, what's going on? -What do you mean?
不给操
我感觉你俩有问题啊 I'm catching kind of a vibe.
你和双A之间有一种奇怪的紧张感 a weird vibe with you and Double-A.
是啊 那个 Right. That. Well--
我实话实说吧 理查德 I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Richard.
我觉得他不喜欢你 I don't think he likes you.
我是说 他真的对你翻了白眼 I mean, he literally rolled his eyes at you.
不如还是交给我吧 Why don't you just trust me on this one.
让'酷爱'来替你交涉吧 Let Kool-Aid do the talking tomorrow.
拿着这些 我再去拿两瓶饮料 Take this stuff. I'm gonna grab a couple more drinks
再拿个帽子 and another hat.
我还是拿个盒子装吧 I'm gonna get a box.
这真是场灾难 This is a total fucking disaster.
如果我的工程师们跟我说他们还没准备好 If my engineers had just told me they weren't ready,
我一定不会逼他们做这次直播的 I never would have pushed for this live stream.
更糟的是 我还听说'魔笛手'的那帮混蛋 Even worse, now I hear those little Pied Piper fuckers
也在和'天杀'搞直播 are doing their own live stream with Homicide.
-那个能量饮料 -是的 -The energy drink? -Yes.
与此同时我已经布置了针对'纽核力'平台 Meanwhile, I've demanded to see internal testing
各个部分的内部测评 from every facet of the Nucleus platform.
这样我就能知道现在真正的状态了 So I can see for myself where I stand.
因为我听到的全都是好消息 Because all I hear from everybody is good news.
我是不是已经被谄媚者包围了 Have I just surrounded myself with sycophants,
这些人只会说我想听的 who are just telling me
而不管事实真相是什么 whatever I want to hear, regardless of the truth?
不是的 No.
谢谢 丹波克 我很需要听到这些 Thank you, Denpok. I really needed to hear that.
这也许有些变态 但残酷的真相就是 This might be morbid, but the cold hard fact is
如果布莱恩在直播中死了 that if Blaine dies on our live stream,
其实对我们是有好处的 this could be good for us.
我是说 我们的点击量会激增 I mean, we'd get a lot more traffic.
而且也会导致 Well, and it would probably lead to
特技表演行业出台更多的规章制度 calls for regulations in the stunt industry.
所以长远来看 我们在拯救苍生 So, in the long term, we're saving lives.
但如果就让他那么死了还是会有些道德问题 Although, there is the moral problem with letting him die.
但他确实让我们闭嘴了 Though he did tell us to shut up.
而且他的名字叫布莱恩 And his name is Blaine.
而且吉娜很性感 And Gina is super hot.
这会让她恢复单身 And this would make her single.
她也许会需要别人安慰 She'd probably need consoling, so...
所以机会就来了 there's an opportunity.
机会 Opportunity.
我们要做个斯沃特分析吗 Should we SWOT this?
丧偶的女人一般都会有两性方面的需求 Bereaved women do tend to act out sexually.
是的 所以这是优势 Yeah, so that's a strength.
-'酷爱' -来了 -Hey, Kool-Aid! -Yeah!
所以呢 And? So?
所以 And?
这并不是一个夸人的外号 It wasn't meant to be a flattering nickname.
这是种侮辱 It was an insult.
我并不同意 I'm not sure I agree with that.
我是说 这个舞动的罐子穿墙而出 I mean, the dancing pitcher breaks through walls
为口渴的孩子们提供美味的饮品 to give tasty beverages to kids in need.
你是如何从中推断出双A不喜欢我的 Why would you infer from this that Double-A doesn't like me?
我不需要推断 Well, um, I wasn't inferring anything.
他亲口告诉我他不喜欢你 He told me to my face that he doesn't like you.
但他为什么不喜欢我 But why wouldn't he like me?
这个 Well, uh,
你有的时候 you have a tendency sometimes to--
他怎么可能不喜欢我 Why on earth wouldn't he like me?
因为 埃利希 你有时 Because, Erlich, you tend to not let--
我是他的导师 你懂吗 I was his mentor. You know?
你知道吗 这根本不可能 You know, there's no remote possibility--
因为你根本不让别人说话 Because you don't let people talk!
就像刚刚这样 It just happened.
他还说如果明天你还去 and he told me that if you came tomorrow
在线直播的事他就不会再跟我们合作 that he would pull the plug on the whole live stream.
我明白了 I see.
对不起 Sorry.
那你现在说完了吗 Are you done talking now?
是的 Yes.
迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔知道这件事吗 Do Dinesh and Gilfoyle know about this?
不知道 我直接来找你的 Uh, no, I came straight to you.
那贾里德呢 What about Jared?
也不知道 No.
好吧 之后你要这么做 Okay, here's what you need to do.
你明天自己去 You need to go in tomorrow,
你得完成那个在线直播 and you need to do that live stream.
不要理会我的感受 不要因为我的事退出 Put my feelings aside, you know, don't quit on account of me.
我没打算...我不打算退出 I wasn't gonna... I wasn't gonna quit.
但有些事你还是得知道 There is something you should know, though.
艾伦·安德森上大学时不是很受欢迎 Aaron Anderson wasn't very well liked in college.
其实人们都叫他"双屁眼"[首字母均为A] In fact, people used to call him "Double-Asshole."
所以这家伙你得小心点 So watch out for that guy.
你确定你没事吗 Are you sure you're okay with this?
没事 理查德 我是时候变得更加大度 Yes, Richard. It's time for me to be the bigger man.
更加有风范 The cooler man.
不管怎么说 我可是酷爱 I am Kool-Aid, after all.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
过去的90分钟里 你们有机会 for the last 90 minutes you have had opportunity
亲手体验了 to explore a standard HooliPhone
升级到最新'纽核力'操作系统的互利手机 upgraded with a brand-new operating system called Nucleus.
谢谢你们的到来 Thank you all for being here,
阿伦 丽莎 乔希 雅娜 凯蒂 雷蒙 Aln, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie, Ramon.
我想听听大家对它的第一印象 I'd like to get everyone's first impressions.
谁想第一个说 Who'd like to jump in? Anyone?
-你来吧 雷蒙 -这蠢爆了 -How about you, Ramon? -It's just stupid.
好吧 雷蒙觉得这手机太蠢了 Okay, so Ramon feels the phone is stupid.
能说得详细点吗 雷蒙 Could you elaborate, Ramon?
怎么蠢了 请尽量说得详细点 Stupid how? Please, be as specific as possible, Ramon.
速度很慢 Well, it's slow.
应用还不断闪退 The apps keep quitting on me.
我想看个电影还老是死机 I tried to watch a movie, and it kept freezing up.
我打字的时候 好像有延迟什么的 And when I'm typing, like, there's a delay.
所有字突然一起跳出来 Then all the letters pop up at once.
你把这么好的手机变成了一坨屎 You took a good phone and you made it all, like, shitty.
-别忘了这手机不是我设计的 -我很火大 -Keep in mind, I didn't design the phone. -It pissed me off.
谢谢你的坦率 雷蒙 I appreciate your honesty, Ramon.
这只是一个人的观点 That's just one guy's opinion.
还有谁觉得这款产品很蠢 Who else feels this product is stupid?
阿伦 丽莎 乔希 雅娜 凯蒂 Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie.
你们都对这手机很火大吗 And did it piss off anyone else?
阿伦 丽莎 乔希 雅娜 凯蒂 很好 Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie. Okay.
克里斯蒂娜 到底有多烂 说实话 Christina, how bad is this? Be honest.
有微软Vista系统还烂吗 Is this Windows Vista bad?
总不会比苹果四代烂吧 It's not iPhone 4 bad, is it?
我操 别告诉我跟Zune播放器一样烂 Fuck. Don't tell me this is Zune bad.
对不起 盖文 跟苹果地图一样烂 I'm sorry, Gavin. It's Apple Maps bad.
还有谁觉得这款产品就是一坨屎 And who else felt this product is messed up?
-艾伦 丽莎 乔希 雅娜 -操 -Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana... -Fuck!
不好意思 艾伦 丽莎 乔希 雅娜 I'm sorry for the disturbance, Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana.
我绝对能把预览窗口做到全分辨率 So I can definitely get you full res on the preview window.
-太好了 -那好 我马上去做 -Aw, sweet. -Cool. I'll get right on that.
你看埃利希不在 You see how much smoother
这一切进展得顺利多了 this all runs without Erlich hanging around?
是啊 Right, yeah.
你有没有给我发过 Hey, did you ever send me the mockup
在用户界面上放置标志的模板 for the logo placement of the player window?
说真的 你应该考虑踢掉那家伙 Seriously, you should think about dropping that guy.
不过我知道些啥 But what do I know?
我不就创立了个十来亿的公司 I just built a billion-dollar company.
行 行 好吧 但是... Yeah. Yeah, okay. But, uh,
说到放置标志的样板... about the mockup for the logo placement...
我得去和欧洲的经销商视频通话了 Oh, hey. I gotta go Skype with my European distributor.
加油做吧 Keep cranking it, okay?
好 没问题 Sure, uh, will do.
天杀饮料提供支持
打扰下 Excuse me.
这不是直播窗口的最终定稿吧 That's not the final graphic for the live stream, is it?
没错 双A批准通过了 Yep. Double-A signed off on it.
-就这样吗 没别的了 -是啊 -Just that? There's nothing else? -Nope.
天杀饮料提供支持
让布莱恩挂掉
布莱恩没有死 Blaine doesn't die,
但他基本丧失了行动能力 but he is horribly incapacitated.
在他住院期间 And then while he's in the hospital,
他感染了一种食肉病毒 he gets a flesh-eating virus,
然后他死了 and then he dies.
显然... Well, obviously...
他长期受折磨对我们来说是优势 his incessant suffering will be a strength.
但我们能借此乐在其中是机会 But our ability to enjoy it is an opportunity.
如果在他死之前 What if before he dies...
吉娜传染了病毒怎么办 Gina catches the virus?
然后她的小妹妹传染给了你的小弟弟 And then she spreads it from her vagina to your penis.
等等 所以在这种情况下 Wait, so in this scenario,
我有机会跟吉娜上床 这算在机会里 I get to have sex with Gina? That's an opportunity.
-这样怎么样 -洗耳恭听 -Okay, how about this? -I'm listening.
我们让布莱恩挂掉 We let Blaine die,
那他就阻止不了别人 but then he's not around to stop someone else
干些惊天动地的坏事了 from committinsome huge fucked-up act of evil?
-就像《刺杀希特勒》的剧情 -对 -The "Kill Hitler" scenario. -Right.
两位 你们忙吗 Hey, guys? You guys busy?
还好 Cool.
我有话要说 I got something I gotta say.
我知道我昨天对你们很失礼 Listen. I know that I was really rude to both of you yesterday.
我只是 It's just, um...
每次要准备演出 我都很紧张 when I got a stunt coming up, I'm a bundle of nerves,
有时候会发泄到别人身上 and sometimes I can take that out on other people.
即便我有吉娜和孩子们的全力支持 Even with all the support that I get from Gina and our kids.
-孩子们 -我也不知道为什么会这样 -Kids -... I don't know why.
不过 话说回来 But... and then again,
我可是冒着生命危险在飞跃障碍物 I'm a guy who needs to risk his life jumping over stuff.
所以 又有什么关系呢 对吧 So, what's that all about, right?
其实 一小时前 You know, actually just an hour ago
我发现我的计算有误 I spotted an error in my math.
会让我直接撞穿那栋楼 Would have had me smeared across the side of that building.
总之 我现在只是在瞎扯 Anyway, now I'm just totally rambling.
是典型的布莱恩式风格 Typical Blaine.
我想说的是 What I wanted to say was
对不起 that I'm sorry.
让布莱恩挂掉
我们能和好吗 Are we cool?
我们和好了 谢谢你特意过来一趟 Yeah, we're cool. Thanks for stopping by.
是啊 你快走吧 我们还有事要做 Yeah, you should go quickly, 'cause we have work to do.
这是什么 What's this?
这到底是什么呢 What is that?
"让布莱恩挂掉" "Let Blaine die"?
见鬼 我们那是暗语 都是暗语 Oh. Shit. We write in code--we write in code.
-这是压缩... -"优势 -This is compression---"Strengths.
布莱恩临死前发现脸撞没了" Blaine's last moment is realizing face is gone"?
"劣势 布莱恩死得非常快" "Weaknesses: Blaine dies super fast."
你不能看那些东西 Yeah, you really shouldn't be looking at that.
那些归我们所有 That's all proprietary.
"机会 能上吉娜" "Opportunities: fuck Gina"?
我们进来时那些就已经在墙上了 你信吗 Would you believe that was here when we came in?
双A 我能和你聊会吗 Double-A? Can I talk to you for a second?
好 让我们单独谈谈 怎么了 Uh, yeah. Leave me alone for a sec. What's up?
好的 我刚看到一个用户界面的版本 Well, okay, uh, I just saw a version of the player window
你似乎同意 that apparently you approved
在上面标明"由天杀饮料提供支持" of that says Powered by Homicide on it?
对 是这样的 Oh. Yeah, it does.
上面没有'魔笛手'的商标 Right. Well, there's no Pied Piper logo.
哪儿都没有 这是怎么回事 Like anywhere. So what's up with that?
'天杀'是一款能量饮料 Homicide is an energy drink,
而"支持"就是指提供能量 and "Power" means energy.
加上你们会误导消费者 So that's kind of confusing to the consumer,
所以我们准备保持原样不作变动 so I think we're gonna keep it the way it is.
做这整件事的目的 Uh, the whole point of doing this
是为了推广我们的公司品牌 记得吗 was so that we could get our name out there. Remember?
这样吧 先看看这次的效果如何 I tell you what. Let's see how it goes this time,
下次合作我们再想办法 the next time we'll work something out.
不不 我们不能等着看这次的效果如何 Uh, no. No. We can't see how it goes this time.
没有下一次了 好吗 There is no next time. Okay?
我们紧赶慢赶制作平台准备参加消费电子展 We are racing to get our platform ready for CES.
而我们把做平台的时间挪出来 And we took time away from doing that
做这个 是为了公关价值 to do this so we could get PR value.
没人看到我们的公司商标 就毫无公关价值 If no one sees the logo, then there's no PR value at all.
抱歉 不过你懂的 Oh, man. I'm sorry. But you get it.
不 我不懂 No, I don't get it.
你一定要在界面内放上我们的商标 Okay, look, you have to put our logo in the viewer.
就这样 没商量的余地 That's it. Period.
实际上 我什么都不用做 Actually, I don't have to do a damn thing.
-不 你要做 -我不用做 -Yeah, you do. -No, I don't.
好 那我也不干了 Okay, then neither do I.
理查德 别和你兄弟"酷爱" Richard, don't be an asshole
一样招人嫌 好吗 like your buddy Kool-Aid. Okay?
好好把事情做完就行 Just finish the build, okay?
你知道吗 双A You know what, Double-A?
埃利希说得对 Erlich was right.
你就是个混蛋 You are an asshole.
实际上 你就是个双屁眼 In fact, you're a double-asshole!
你说我什么 What did you call me?
我说你双屁眼 I... I called you a double-assle.
因为你很混蛋 'Cause, you know, you're being an asshole.
双A 双屁眼 Double-A, double-asshole. You know?
你有两个屁眼 两个洞 双屁眼 You're twice the asshole. Twice-hole. Double-asshole.
那是结肠造瘘袋吗[人造粪袋] Is that a colostomy bag?
你能想象一个十岁的孩子 Do you have any idea what it's like to be ten years old
带着自己的屎尿袋是什么感觉吗 and carry your own shit around in a bag?
有两个屁眼 To have two assholes?
我不知道... I didn't know...
-理查德 -我们该走了 -Hey, Richard? -We should go.
"机会 在布莱恩的坟墓上撒尿" "Opportunities: urinate on Blaine's grave"?
"和吉娜以及布莱恩的辣妈3P "Grief threesome with Gina
以抚平她们的悲伤 问号" and Blaine's hot mom, question mark"?
-搞毛啊 -我不... -What the fuck?! -I didn't...
-理查德 -我是说 你很混蛋 -Richard! -But I mean, you were being an asshole.
祝你好运 Okay, good luck.
当着他的面 To his face?
你当着他的面这么叫他 You called him that to his face?!
你怎么能不告诉我结肠造瘘袋的事 How could you not mention the colostomy bag?
因为这是很隐私的事 Because it's a very private and personal matter!
不是个笑料 It's not a laughing matter!
但是你先管他叫双屁眼的 But you called him double-asshole first.
记得吗 在大学 Remember? In college?
是的 但不是当着他面 Yeah, but not to his face.
我从不会当着他这样说 Never to his face!
即便是我也没那么残忍 Not even I'm not that fucking cruel!
-但你很残忍 -我其实不是的 -But you are! -I'm actually not.
双屁眼经你一说变成了三屁眼 You tore double-asshole a third asshole!
三A Triple-A!
这怎么倒成了我的错了 Yeah, that was all my fault somehow?
确实是彻底搞砸了 Yeah, that was a big wank.
既然我们已经准备好在线直播了 Since we're already set up for a live stream,
我能提个建议吗 might I make a suggestion?
这比我想象中还好 It looks even better than I thought it would.
这是张静止图像吗 Is that a still image?
不是停滞了吧 It's not frozen, is it?
不 是直播 只是变化不大 No, it's live. It's just not moving very much
因为那他妈是颗蛋 because it's a fucking egg.
但是想象一下蛋里正在发生的神奇变化 But think of the wonderful things going on inside that egg.
人的想象力是无穷的 The resolution in your imagination is infinite.
我们有十七位观众了 Oh, hey, we're up to 17 views.
这虽然达不到我们预想中的公关效果 Okay, well, this isn't the PR coup that we'd envisioned.
但是 '纽核力'玩砸得更彻底 But, uh, Nucleus fucked up way worse.
至少已经知道只有我们的 At least we can go back to work knowing
发散压缩算法是切实可行的 that we're the only middle-out compression
我们就能安心工作了 that actually functions.
新西兰长相思 在钢桶中存放的 New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc? Steel-aged.
很适合白天喝 Drinks great during the day.
我可以站到旁边 你们俩就能挨着了 I can move, so you guys can stand next to each other.
贾里德 天啊 不用了 Jared! God, no!
伙计 不用了 Dude, no.
罗斯 你好 Russ, hey.
干得好 伙计 直播看起来棒极了 Good job, my man! Fucking live stream looks amazing!
-真的吗 -是啊 '天杀'一定很兴奋 -It does? -Yeah, Homicide must be stoked!
'天杀' 什么 Homicide? What?
我喜欢这个新名字 很拉风 I love the new name. It's kick-ass.
我一直觉得'魔笛手'这名字很弱 I always thought Pied Piper was kind of a limp-dick name.
'尾帧'听起来帅多了 EndFrame is way cooler.
'尾帧' 什么 EndFrame? What?
由'尾帧'提供技术支持
三 二 一 Three, two, one!
由'尾帧'提供技术支持
他做到了 别了 亲爱的吉娜 He made it. Farewell, sweet Gina.
"由'尾帧'提供技术支持" "Powered by EndFrame."
谁他妈的是'尾帧' Who the fuck is EndFrame?
为什么他们的商标显示在直播上 Why is their fucking logo on this live stream?
-'尾帧'不是你们吗 -操 -EndFrame isn't you guys? -Oh, fuck!
'尾帧'是'布兰斯科姆投资公司' EndFrame is those guys that
那帮窃取我们算法的人 brain-raped us at Branscomb Ventures.
'尾帧'是一个专门研究发散压缩技术的 "EndFrame is a compression company specializing
压缩算法公司 in middle-out compression technology."
这些混蛋 他们偷了我的算法 Those pricks! They stole my algorithm!
我认识联调局的人 你们是被黑了吗 I know guys at the FBI we could call. Were you fucking hacked?
-其实不是 -那他们是怎么得到的 -Actually, no. -Well, how did they get it then?
什么 I'm sorry?
他们是怎么得到算法的 理查德 How did they get it then, Richard?
他们是怎么得到的 How did they get it?
我们突然发现自己出现在他们的会议室 Well, we kinda found ourselves in their conference room,
不小心在他们的白板上描述了 and accidentally sketched out our key components
我们的算法数据模型的核心部分 to our algorithm's data model on their whiteboards.
你他妈的 You fucking--
罗斯 Russ?
他挂了 He hung up.
我会把这归为"劣势" 贾里德 I'd file this one under "Weakness", Jared.