1 00:00:42,424 --> 00:00:46,159 COCKEREL CROWS 2 00:01:55,625 --> 00:02:00,603 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in nasty situations.' 3 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,219 SONG: I Have A Dream by Abba 4 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:21,995 ♪ I have a dream 5 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:26,381 ♪ A song to sing 6 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:34,034 ♪ To help me cope with anything 7 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:43,984 ♪ And my destination makes it worthwhile 8 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,839 ♪ Pushing through the darkness 9 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:53,639 ♪ Still another mile 10 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,719 ♪ I believe in angels 11 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,633 ♪ Something good in everything I see 12 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,439 ♪ I believe in angels 13 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,439 ♪ When I know the time is right for me 14 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,719 ♪ I'll cross the stream 15 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,839 ♪ I have a dream 16 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,559 ♪ I have a dream... ♪ 17 00:03:36,558 --> 00:03:38,834 'Let's play Botherguts!' 18 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,479 VIOLIN PLAYS 19 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,969 'Hey, come on! 20 00:04:11,094 --> 00:04:13,978 'Three, two, one! 21 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:18,479 'Go! Whoo-hoo! 22 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,592 'Chuck her a bun! 23 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:30,199 'Not hungry?! That's a first, hey?! 24 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,678 'Come on! 25 00:04:39,634 --> 00:04:40,939 'That'd hurt! 26 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,959 (LAUGHS) Brilliant! 27 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,239 (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 28 00:04:58,982 --> 00:05:01,037 Ah, fucking brilliant, that! 29 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,839 Um, that one does that sometimes. Hang on. 30 00:05:40,012 --> 00:05:42,839 There's a little knob in here somewhere. 31 00:05:45,114 --> 00:05:47,228 Almost the only real thing in there, 32 00:05:47,244 --> 00:05:49,499 and even that's grown in a Petri dish. 33 00:05:50,715 --> 00:05:52,021 Thank you. 34 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,519 VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS 35 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,559 SEXY MUSIC PLAYS 36 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,559 'Hmm. Oh, ah. 37 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,357 'Hmm. Licking my pussy.' 38 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,600 Oh, for Christ's sake! 39 00:06:42,364 --> 00:06:45,399 Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut! Cheers for the reflection! 40 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,216 One minute I'm in slitsville, the next there's a haunted pig 41 00:06:48,229 --> 00:06:51,669 gawping at me. They may as well have cut to a war crime! 42 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:54,432 Oi! 43 00:06:58,696 --> 00:06:59,999 You missed a bit. 44 00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:02,230 (LAUGHS) 45 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,869 Pie ape! 46 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,910 You see that? 47 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,783 Fucking pie ape! 48 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,039 (MAN COUGHS) 49 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,399 (LAUGHS) 50 00:07:19,584 --> 00:07:22,399 He'll be in lemon and all before long! 51 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,985 GUNSHOTS 52 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,879 'Selma Telse.' 53 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,799 ♪ Destination! ♪ 54 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,557 'Howie Mandelbrot.' 55 00:07:55,782 --> 00:07:57,182 'Toy Soldiers' 56 00:08:02,591 --> 00:08:07,055 'Each headlines their own content on one of your eight daylight streams. 57 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,953 'But they started here, like you. 58 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,521 'Putting their back into giving back for a brighter now. 59 00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:20,873 'Each paying their dues like you, hoping to become a hot shot.' 60 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,799 ♪ Pushing through the darkness. 61 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,999 ♪ Still another mile. ♪ 62 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,408 'That wasn't good... 63 00:08:33,399 --> 00:08:37,254 '..that was beyond incredible!' 64 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,955 ♪ I believe in angels... ♪ 65 00:08:41,618 --> 00:08:45,275 'You decide the victors, you control their fates, 66 00:08:45,574 --> 00:08:48,757 'you make the call on Hot Shots. 67 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,119 ♪ I believe in angels 68 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,119 ♪ When I know the time is right for me... ♪ 69 00:09:05,793 --> 00:09:11,152 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in the nastiest situations. 70 00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:13,599 'So let's view it.' 71 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,239 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 72 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,479 'Resume viewing. 73 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,999 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 74 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,039 'Resume viewing. 75 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,039 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 76 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,279 'Resume viewing.' 77 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,279 SEXY MUSIC 78 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,547 'You are going to see it all.' 79 00:09:34,967 --> 00:09:37,852 'Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL. 80 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,075 'Hey, what else were you planning to do with that hand?' 81 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,639 'You lick my pussy, baby. 82 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,399 'Oh, I turn you on! 83 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,721 'Oh!' 84 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,839 'Hi, I'm Roxy, hello. 85 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,323 'Hi, I'm Evie.' 86 00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:14,719 COCKEREL CROWS 87 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,265 LIFT BINGS 88 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,399 Didn't let him sign in. 89 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,688 Told him to report to 22 down. 90 00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:21,506 Told ya! 91 00:11:22,171 --> 00:11:24,683 He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck! 92 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,000 What do you think? 93 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,037 It's a bit much. 94 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,069 Yeah. 95 00:12:20,418 --> 00:12:23,489 'Best thing about my new lifestyle? Um, where do I start? 96 00:12:24,181 --> 00:12:27,688 'I love choosing my own clothes and I love gold. 97 00:12:28,322 --> 00:12:31,033 'I feel like it really expresses who I really am 98 00:12:31,604 --> 00:12:33,919 'and I love looking over outside. 99 00:12:34,158 --> 00:12:37,359 'It's so beautiful sometimes, I just wish that everyone could see it.' 100 00:12:37,484 --> 00:12:39,194 Oh, nice outfit(!) 101 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,479 Suits you. (LAUGHS) 102 00:12:44,286 --> 00:12:48,029 'Well, honesty is ruthless so I suppose it's just honesty... 103 00:12:48,843 --> 00:12:50,161 'ruthless honesty.' 104 00:12:52,061 --> 00:12:53,976 URINATING 105 00:12:55,187 --> 00:12:57,127 ♪ You can blame me 106 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,389 ♪ Try to shame me 107 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:05,719 ♪ Still long to have you 108 00:13:07,491 --> 00:13:12,217 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 109 00:13:13,124 --> 00:13:15,637 ♪ They can't see you 110 00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:18,696 ♪ Like I can 111 00:13:19,714 --> 00:13:22,400 ♪ Oh, but anyone 112 00:13:23,847 --> 00:13:25,824 ♪ Who knows what love is 113 00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:30,965 ♪ Will understand 114 00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:08,711 Drying my hands. 115 00:14:10,378 --> 00:14:11,684 Impressive. 116 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,683 (MAN SPITS AND FARTS) 117 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,639 Have fun... 118 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,247 I mean, on the... 119 00:14:26,222 --> 00:14:27,839 'Hey, regular user! 120 00:14:27,964 --> 00:14:33,007 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in the nastiest situation. 121 00:14:33,132 --> 00:14:34,455 'Select view... ' 122 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,448 Dick. 123 00:15:01,686 --> 00:15:05,006 (GUNSHOT NOISES) 124 00:15:05,811 --> 00:15:10,051 GUNFIRE 125 00:16:09,279 --> 00:16:11,667 Detritus. Sorry. 126 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,847 (MUMBLES) 127 00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:43,353 ♪ Who knows what love is? 128 00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:49,049 ♪ We'll understand 129 00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:55,769 ♪ To do... LOUD MUSIC AND VOICEOVER 130 00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:03,771 AUDIO STOPS 131 00:17:06,530 --> 00:17:07,836 ♪ Any more 132 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,406 ♪ Who knows what love is? 133 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,266 ♪ We'll understand. ♪ 134 00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:26,485 MACHINE BEEPS 135 00:17:26,824 --> 00:17:28,005 Come on! 136 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,649 Wait. There's a knack to it. 137 00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:32,067 - You'll take your fingers off. - Trust me. 138 00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:34,736 ITEM DROPS INSIDE MACHINE 139 00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:37,119 Smart. 140 00:17:41,130 --> 00:17:42,433 Bing Manson. 141 00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:44,329 Short for Bingham. 142 00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:46,378 Abi Carner. 143 00:17:47,570 --> 00:17:49,009 Short for Abi Carner. 144 00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:52,181 You're a new person. I've not seen you. 145 00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:54,333 I just went 21 last week. 146 00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:57,750 I wanted to go to Airdale My sister's there, but... 147 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,251 It's full, apparently. 148 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:06,164 Proper fruit. It was worth the risk. 149 00:18:06,890 --> 00:18:10,300 The most natural thing in there's probably grown in a Petri dish. 150 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,196 Yeah. 151 00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:15,125 Quite good, though. 152 00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:16,889 Yeah. That's the right way round. 153 00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:19,769 When you get the cheap one, you end up having to pedal it off. 154 00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:23,049 Then you want more sugar. Then you're playing catch-up and I've... 155 00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:25,938 I've been there. It's a vicious circle. 156 00:18:28,397 --> 00:18:30,325 Can't you just use that CPT app? 157 00:18:30,335 --> 00:18:31,653 What's that? 158 00:18:32,014 --> 00:18:34,249 This cognitive behavioural thing. 159 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,940 It realigns your thinking to pick healthy food. 160 00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:39,784 Whispers you into it while you sleep. 161 00:18:41,929 --> 00:18:43,981 Yeah, I should try that, yeah. 162 00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:52,669 I liked your singing the other day. 163 00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:58,956 I was trying to sing so no-one could hear me pee. 164 00:18:59,286 --> 00:19:00,809 I'm not Selma or anything. 165 00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:04,809 You've got a phenomenal voice. It was the most beautiful song... 166 00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:09,882 Y... You think I'm being cheesy? 167 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,027 All right, I am being cheesy. 168 00:19:15,052 --> 00:19:17,327 But it was beautiful, so, you know... 169 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:22,451 Reality's cheesy sometimes. Not often, admittedly, but... 170 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:24,680 Now. 171 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:27,264 Yeah... 172 00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:35,599 Well, thank you. 173 00:19:39,884 --> 00:19:41,513 It's just noises, though. 174 00:19:42,259 --> 00:19:43,801 Noises in the right order. 175 00:19:43,826 --> 00:19:45,249 Don't downplay... you're good. 176 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,703 The song's good. It's old. 177 00:19:50,096 --> 00:19:53,678 My mum used to sing it and she learnt it from her mum. 178 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:55,874 A hand-me-down. 179 00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:01,113 You thought of trying out for Hot Shot? 180 00:20:01,361 --> 00:20:04,110 (LAUGHS) Me? 181 00:20:04,576 --> 00:20:05,889 Why not? 182 00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,588 Singing in front of Judge Hope? 183 00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:11,209 I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway to the afterlife come the chorus. 184 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,404 No, you'd walk it. 185 00:20:12,416 --> 00:20:13,633 A) I wouldn't. 186 00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:17,836 And B)... I don't have that clockage. 187 00:20:18,558 --> 00:20:21,089 It's, what, 12 mil just to enter? 188 00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:23,369 What kind of bike time is that? Six months? 189 00:20:23,370 --> 00:20:25,689 - Yeah, but... - I'm hand to mouth. 190 00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:29,709 I know people save and stuff to get onto that stage 191 00:20:29,723 --> 00:20:32,327 and then there's what Selma did. But, you know what? 192 00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:35,716 - I'd rather not give myself... - Yeah, but I'll gift it to you. 193 00:20:38,353 --> 00:20:40,031 The full 12, I'll gift it. 194 00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:47,769 Don't be ridiculous! 195 00:20:48,285 --> 00:20:50,113 Seriously, I've got it spare. 196 00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:52,589 You've got 12 mil spare? 197 00:20:53,256 --> 00:20:54,736 My brother left it me. 198 00:20:55,370 --> 00:20:57,285 Own a channel, does he? 199 00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:58,873 No, he... 200 00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:00,639 He died. 201 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,878 He... He died last year, 202 00:21:06,374 --> 00:21:07,954 so it got transferred to me. 203 00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:11,102 Just over six months' worth, but I've kept it. 204 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,499 Why don't you spend it on you, then? 205 00:21:15,511 --> 00:21:18,322 And buy what? Some new shoes for my doppel to wear? 206 00:21:19,634 --> 00:21:22,289 I don't know, upgrade your MOS... 207 00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:24,283 Or get a Fat Attack season pass? 208 00:21:25,343 --> 00:21:27,169 Buy one of those wall buddies. 209 00:21:27,179 --> 00:21:30,587 The new ones that talk to you after shutting and solve your problems. 210 00:21:30,610 --> 00:21:34,594 They guide your dreams, like gurus. It's amazing, really, what they can do. 211 00:21:34,619 --> 00:21:38,169 A mirror plug-in? That shows me how I look as a werewolf? What's the point? 212 00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:41,413 - I know it can be quite funny. - It's all just stuff. It's... 213 00:21:42,854 --> 00:21:45,518 It's stuff, it's confetti, it's... 214 00:21:48,410 --> 00:21:50,076 You've got something real. 215 00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:53,813 What better to spend it on? 216 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:56,002 You heard me singing in a toilet. 217 00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:58,689 Is that real? 218 00:21:58,690 --> 00:22:01,168 More than anything that's happened all year. 219 00:22:05,267 --> 00:22:07,879 I can't take that kind of clockage off someone. 220 00:22:09,085 --> 00:22:10,838 It's 12 mils, no way. 221 00:22:11,450 --> 00:22:12,821 Let me do this. 222 00:22:16,187 --> 00:22:18,774 I... I look around here, I just... 223 00:22:20,354 --> 00:22:22,542 I just want something real to happen. 224 00:22:25,194 --> 00:22:26,499 Just once. 225 00:22:29,546 --> 00:22:30,849 I'd mess up. 226 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,694 You wouldn't. I don't care anyway. 227 00:22:33,490 --> 00:22:36,529 I'll go with you. I'll be able to force you. 228 00:22:36,796 --> 00:22:38,425 I'll force you to go. 229 00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:41,793 It's tomorrow. 230 00:22:43,641 --> 00:22:45,121 Come on! 231 00:22:51,762 --> 00:22:53,068 Say yes. 232 00:22:56,733 --> 00:22:59,007 I'll go as far as to say, "OK." 233 00:23:01,090 --> 00:23:03,021 Which proves acceptable. 234 00:23:05,610 --> 00:23:07,006 Thank God for that. 235 00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:12,400 Walking away now. 236 00:23:13,756 --> 00:23:15,061 You loon! 237 00:23:16,170 --> 00:23:17,541 I can live with it! 238 00:23:21,850 --> 00:23:23,159 (SIGHS) 239 00:23:48,819 --> 00:23:50,995 I'd love to fucking ruin that and all. 240 00:24:19,170 --> 00:24:20,476 What? 241 00:24:20,980 --> 00:24:22,285 15? 242 00:24:25,856 --> 00:24:27,167 A flippin' joke... 243 00:25:02,091 --> 00:25:03,397 (LAUGHS) 244 00:25:16,490 --> 00:25:18,129 LOUD MUSIC AND SOUND EFFECTS 245 00:25:18,130 --> 00:25:20,231 'New from Wraith Babes. 246 00:25:20,244 --> 00:25:23,502 'The hottest girls in the nastiest situations.' 247 00:25:24,603 --> 00:25:26,121 Oh, yeah! Ooh! 248 00:25:34,092 --> 00:25:35,423 (SIGHS) 249 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:43,971 Can't believe I'm doing this. 250 00:25:47,187 --> 00:25:48,495 I am doing this. 251 00:25:52,073 --> 00:25:53,404 I can't be doing this. 252 00:25:53,429 --> 00:25:54,946 Can you trade it back? 253 00:25:55,380 --> 00:25:56,695 The ticket? 254 00:25:56,988 --> 00:25:58,070 Don't be mad. 255 00:25:58,846 --> 00:26:01,445 It's a lot of pressure to put someone under, you know. 256 00:26:01,469 --> 00:26:04,564 Don't think I'm not grateful. But it's, it's just... 257 00:26:04,589 --> 00:26:05,895 You're babbling. 258 00:26:06,020 --> 00:26:07,490 I'm babbling. 259 00:26:15,838 --> 00:26:17,330 I made you this. 260 00:26:20,887 --> 00:26:24,431 You never get to keep them more than a day, but there it is, anyway. 261 00:26:29,163 --> 00:26:30,394 It folds flat. 262 00:26:30,812 --> 00:26:33,486 So you can keep them in your waistband. 263 00:26:37,740 --> 00:26:39,049 Thank you. 264 00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:45,899 It's, you know... 265 00:26:46,202 --> 00:26:47,507 something. 266 00:27:17,856 --> 00:27:19,297 Face the screen, please. 267 00:27:23,340 --> 00:27:25,699 Is he your Friends And Family allocation? 268 00:27:26,571 --> 00:27:27,877 (Yeah). 269 00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:29,570 Hand, please. 270 00:27:30,813 --> 00:27:31,814 Oh!! 271 00:27:32,236 --> 00:27:33,827 That's not permanent, is it? 272 00:27:33,952 --> 00:27:35,339 Oh, no. Two months max. 273 00:27:35,430 --> 00:27:37,598 Round to the right, and through the scanner. 274 00:27:40,980 --> 00:27:43,246 VOCAL EXERCISES 275 00:28:02,076 --> 00:28:03,384 Where do we go now? 276 00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,328 You wait here. 277 00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:07,681 How long? 278 00:28:12,342 --> 00:28:13,644 So, what do we do? 279 00:28:13,656 --> 00:28:14,939 I don't know. 280 00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:17,875 Hey, hey, hey. Fuck off. 281 00:28:22,743 --> 00:28:24,375 Her with the dark hair? 282 00:28:24,500 --> 00:28:26,250 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one. 283 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,179 Yup. OK. Move. 284 00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:32,188 They want to preview you. 285 00:28:32,885 --> 00:28:34,619 - What? - Preview. Come on. 286 00:28:35,068 --> 00:28:36,623 - He's with me. - Hand? 287 00:28:38,545 --> 00:28:39,868 Show me your hand. 288 00:28:40,397 --> 00:28:41,699 OK. You, too. 289 00:28:41,824 --> 00:28:44,125 That's not fair. She's new. That's not fair. 290 00:28:44,129 --> 00:28:45,639 I don't pick the order. 291 00:28:45,830 --> 00:28:48,368 I've waited here all week, and she's just walked in. 292 00:28:48,447 --> 00:28:52,262 Everyone will get seen eventually. I don't pick the order. 293 00:28:52,270 --> 00:28:53,746 But I'm a good singer. 294 00:28:53,754 --> 00:28:56,370 I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am. 295 00:28:56,371 --> 00:28:58,720 - Stand aside. - It's not fair! 296 00:28:59,790 --> 00:29:01,095 It's not fair! 297 00:29:06,908 --> 00:29:09,184 - Next lot. - Stand there. 298 00:29:13,806 --> 00:29:16,324 Would you like to be as big as Salma one day? 299 00:29:16,689 --> 00:29:19,553 Erm... Yeah, I mean... 300 00:29:19,578 --> 00:29:20,819 Could you say that 301 00:29:20,820 --> 00:29:23,417 as a self-contained sentence into that screen? 302 00:29:25,940 --> 00:29:28,459 I guess I'd like to be as big as Salma one day. 303 00:29:28,460 --> 00:29:30,419 OK. Proceed to stage area. 304 00:29:31,244 --> 00:29:32,550 Are we done? 305 00:29:35,586 --> 00:29:37,625 - Both performing? - Just her. 306 00:29:37,638 --> 00:29:40,259 - Okay... and what are you? - Singer. 307 00:29:40,593 --> 00:29:42,411 - Compliance? - No, thanks. 308 00:29:42,536 --> 00:29:45,636 A-ha. Yes, thanks! It's compulsory for all contestants. 309 00:29:45,649 --> 00:29:48,178 More to the point, it'll stop you puking with nerves. 310 00:29:48,232 --> 00:29:50,428 - She's got to perform. - Well, mmm(!) 311 00:29:50,851 --> 00:29:52,849 Look, just sip it, you'll be fine. 312 00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:59,457 Just a touch of light foam. It'll pass. 313 00:29:59,582 --> 00:30:01,006 Make the most of it. 314 00:30:01,131 --> 00:30:02,977 You can't get this stuff anywhere else. 315 00:30:03,424 --> 00:30:04,979 You OK? Yeah. 316 00:30:04,980 --> 00:30:06,289 You OK? 317 00:30:09,062 --> 00:30:10,377 Yeah. Just, erm... 318 00:30:11,492 --> 00:30:15,499 I don't know. Things are just wider apart. I'm fine. 319 00:30:16,304 --> 00:30:18,865 - Really? - Yeah, I'm fine. 320 00:30:19,780 --> 00:30:21,186 Right. You're on. 321 00:30:38,946 --> 00:30:40,513 A little closer, please. 322 00:30:45,246 --> 00:30:46,577 Little closer. 323 00:30:49,788 --> 00:30:51,380 Into the light, love. 324 00:30:59,744 --> 00:31:02,952 - And who're we looking at here? - Abi Khan. 325 00:31:03,586 --> 00:31:05,961 What are you going to do for us today, Abi? 326 00:31:06,546 --> 00:31:07,939 I'm going to sing. 327 00:31:07,940 --> 00:31:09,399 You speak up, love. 328 00:31:09,524 --> 00:31:10,870 We don't bite. 329 00:31:12,486 --> 00:31:13,792 I'm going to sing. 330 00:31:14,180 --> 00:31:17,819 Hey, would you mind lifting up your top for me? 331 00:31:19,372 --> 00:31:21,076 Can you take off your top? 332 00:31:21,091 --> 00:31:23,081 I want to check out those titties. 333 00:31:23,206 --> 00:31:24,262 Woo-hoo-hoo! 334 00:31:24,263 --> 00:31:25,571 Oh! 335 00:31:26,628 --> 00:31:28,331 Come on. Mucho feranto. 336 00:31:29,729 --> 00:31:31,358 Ah! No titties? 337 00:31:32,164 --> 00:31:34,303 She says she's here to sing. 338 00:31:34,940 --> 00:31:37,259 I got to see those titties, though. 339 00:31:37,384 --> 00:31:38,779 Come on, girl. 340 00:31:38,780 --> 00:31:40,126 I mean, damn! 341 00:31:40,151 --> 00:31:41,499 Heh-heh-heh. 342 00:31:41,860 --> 00:31:43,179 You hot. 343 00:31:43,656 --> 00:31:46,118 Please, just sing for us. 344 00:31:52,406 --> 00:31:53,711 ♪ Anyone 345 00:31:56,466 --> 00:31:57,797 ♪ Anyone 346 00:31:59,513 --> 00:32:02,025 ♪ You can blame me 347 00:32:04,024 --> 00:32:06,539 ♪ Try to shame me 348 00:32:06,540 --> 00:32:10,539 ♪ And still I'll care for you 349 00:32:15,543 --> 00:32:17,930 ♪ You can run around 350 00:32:19,530 --> 00:32:21,818 ♪ Even put me down 351 00:32:22,380 --> 00:32:26,636 ♪ Still I'll be there for you 352 00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:37,190 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 353 00:32:37,660 --> 00:32:41,113 ♪ They can't see you 354 00:32:41,911 --> 00:32:44,255 ♪ Like I can 355 00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:48,379 ♪ Oh, but anyone 356 00:32:49,732 --> 00:32:52,244 ♪ Who knows what love is 357 00:32:54,190 --> 00:32:58,206 ♪ Will understand 358 00:33:02,282 --> 00:33:03,587 ♪ Anyone 359 00:33:05,838 --> 00:33:07,840 ♪ Anyone 360 00:33:11,020 --> 00:33:13,498 ♪ I just feel so sorry 361 00:33:15,460 --> 00:33:20,457 ♪ For the ones who pity me 362 00:33:25,580 --> 00:33:26,899 ♪ Anyone 363 00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:29,619 ♪ Cos they just don't know 364 00:33:29,620 --> 00:33:30,659 ♪ Anyone 365 00:33:30,784 --> 00:33:36,396 ♪ Oh, they don't know What happiness and love can be 366 00:33:42,780 --> 00:33:47,795 ♪ I know I know to ever let you go 367 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:54,055 ♪ Oh, is more than I could ever stand 368 00:33:54,693 --> 00:33:58,179 ♪ Oh, but anyone 369 00:33:59,220 --> 00:34:02,170 ♪ Who knows what love is 370 00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:08,617 ♪ Will understand... ♪ 371 00:34:09,461 --> 00:34:11,351 OK. I'm going to stop you there. 372 00:34:12,942 --> 00:34:14,158 That was... 373 00:34:15,243 --> 00:34:16,468 without a doubt... 374 00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:22,939 probably the best piece of singing we've had this season. 375 00:34:23,166 --> 00:34:25,118 Yes! Well done! 376 00:34:25,420 --> 00:34:29,419 CHEERING 377 00:34:30,340 --> 00:34:31,649 Fair play. 378 00:34:34,944 --> 00:34:36,499 But I have to say... 379 00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:38,511 BOOING 380 00:34:38,636 --> 00:34:40,489 No. No, no, no. I have to say, 381 00:34:41,347 --> 00:34:42,655 actually, 382 00:34:42,669 --> 00:34:44,310 I'm with Rafe on this one. 383 00:34:45,877 --> 00:34:48,419 Good though your voice is... and it is good. 384 00:34:48,931 --> 00:34:51,619 It's not the most magical sound in the world. 385 00:34:51,620 --> 00:34:53,185 It's just... good. 386 00:34:54,436 --> 00:34:57,234 I don't think anyone's really hearing it. 387 00:34:57,359 --> 00:34:59,858 Certainly not the guys in the audience. 388 00:35:00,143 --> 00:35:03,339 These looks you got going on kind of get in the way. 389 00:35:03,836 --> 00:35:06,112 Men will want you. Women will hate you. 390 00:35:06,421 --> 00:35:08,217 All the time you're on stage. 391 00:35:09,542 --> 00:35:11,295 Couldn't help picturing you. 392 00:35:12,225 --> 00:35:13,739 In an erotic scenario. 393 00:35:13,740 --> 00:35:15,054 CHEERING 394 00:35:15,067 --> 00:35:17,467 Getting pretty turned on, if I'm honest. 395 00:35:21,340 --> 00:35:22,655 Right. 396 00:35:22,780 --> 00:35:24,464 You've got this pure beauty 397 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,250 What seems to be a knockout figure. 398 00:35:27,946 --> 00:35:30,899 And this sort of interesting innocence going on. 399 00:35:30,909 --> 00:35:33,359 That's something I think Rafe's erotica channels 400 00:35:33,368 --> 00:35:35,019 could really play with. 401 00:35:35,020 --> 00:35:37,539 Absolutely. That's what I thought 402 00:35:37,540 --> 00:35:38,939 the moment I saw you. 403 00:35:39,117 --> 00:35:40,419 The moment. 404 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,299 I'd watch. I don't know a man here who wouldn't. 405 00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:46,775 To be honest, some of us girls might join you. 406 00:35:46,900 --> 00:35:50,435 CHEERING 407 00:35:50,715 --> 00:35:52,046 Get off me! 408 00:35:52,171 --> 00:35:53,488 Don't! Abi! 409 00:35:54,623 --> 00:35:56,850 No! Abi! Abi! 410 00:35:56,975 --> 00:35:58,979 I don't think that's quite... 411 00:36:01,305 --> 00:36:05,857 You will never have to pedal again. Not one minute. 412 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:09,045 We could really work with you. 413 00:36:09,170 --> 00:36:12,315 Last year we had singers, singers, singers. 414 00:36:12,676 --> 00:36:13,878 So many singers. 415 00:36:13,903 --> 00:36:16,737 So, to be a singer you have to be truly exceptional 416 00:36:17,223 --> 00:36:20,939 There's just no slots left for an above average singer. 417 00:36:20,940 --> 00:36:23,659 Not for the next few years, at least. Charity? 418 00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:26,542 No. Saturation point, singer-wise. 419 00:36:27,514 --> 00:36:29,715 Listen. We said, right from the start. 420 00:36:29,980 --> 00:36:32,415 We'll go with something different this season. 421 00:36:32,540 --> 00:36:34,455 That's why he's on the panel! 422 00:36:35,139 --> 00:36:38,484 She would be a star on our stream. 423 00:36:39,029 --> 00:36:40,339 A star. 424 00:36:40,991 --> 00:36:42,296 On his... 425 00:36:43,734 --> 00:36:45,379 You're furniture, at best. 426 00:36:45,380 --> 00:36:48,242 Forget about all the shame, and all that ppht-ppht-tew. 427 00:36:49,038 --> 00:36:50,699 We medicate against that. 428 00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:53,020 You will have pleasure forever. 429 00:36:53,318 --> 00:36:55,607 Realistically, sweetheart, it is that, 430 00:36:55,940 --> 00:36:57,246 or the bike. 431 00:37:00,696 --> 00:37:02,034 I, I don't think... 432 00:37:02,042 --> 00:37:04,062 This is starting to annoy me. 433 00:37:04,503 --> 00:37:07,611 Who do you think is powering that spotlight? 434 00:37:13,549 --> 00:37:15,501 Millions of people. That's who. 435 00:37:15,986 --> 00:37:18,163 All of them, out there, right now. 436 00:37:19,130 --> 00:37:21,343 Putting in an honest day on the bike, 437 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,830 while you stand in the light they're generating 438 00:37:23,847 --> 00:37:25,013 and dither. 439 00:37:25,371 --> 00:37:26,676 You know what? 440 00:37:26,801 --> 00:37:30,807 They would give anything. Do anything to be where you are now. 441 00:37:31,479 --> 00:37:32,784 Am I right?! 442 00:37:32,909 --> 00:37:35,887 CHEERING 443 00:37:36,012 --> 00:37:39,270 You want to cock a snook at all that, as though it's nothing. 444 00:37:41,062 --> 00:37:42,753 As though they're nothing. 445 00:37:43,740 --> 00:37:45,160 And that makes me sick. 446 00:37:46,420 --> 00:37:47,783 But, you know what? 447 00:37:49,260 --> 00:37:51,011 Maybe you do belong on the bike. 448 00:37:51,260 --> 00:37:54,207 Because you don't seem to be very willing to step off it. 449 00:37:57,266 --> 00:37:58,335 I do want to. 450 00:37:58,347 --> 00:37:59,678 We have a decision? 451 00:37:59,803 --> 00:38:04,779 (CROWD CHANTS) Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 452 00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:19,179 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 453 00:38:19,180 --> 00:38:23,179 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 454 00:38:34,540 --> 00:38:35,859 I suppose. 455 00:38:35,860 --> 00:38:39,859 CHEERING 456 00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:46,659 Woo-hoo-hoo! Go on! 457 00:38:46,660 --> 00:38:47,965 Well done! 458 00:39:13,750 --> 00:39:17,749 MELANCHOLIC MUSIC 459 00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:50,669 BACKGROUND CONVERSATION 460 00:39:53,350 --> 00:39:55,514 Best thing about my new lifestyle... 461 00:39:56,882 --> 00:39:58,585 I get to meet lots of hot guys. 462 00:40:01,150 --> 00:40:02,926 Wraith treats me well. 463 00:40:04,718 --> 00:40:07,469 Oh, for Christ's sake! 464 00:40:08,221 --> 00:40:09,788 I pay for this! 465 00:40:10,173 --> 00:40:13,306 I... pay... for... this! 466 00:40:13,642 --> 00:40:17,136 I pump my arse off, and you... Fuck you! 467 00:40:18,830 --> 00:40:20,989 Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits. 468 00:40:21,341 --> 00:40:24,191 Find your horizon and fuck off over it! 469 00:40:27,653 --> 00:40:29,008 'It's a dream. 470 00:40:29,910 --> 00:40:31,360 'I get to live... 471 00:40:31,754 --> 00:40:33,057 'in a... 472 00:40:33,430 --> 00:40:34,874 'beautiful place. 473 00:40:35,717 --> 00:40:37,023 'And... 474 00:40:38,042 --> 00:40:39,361 'wear lots of... 475 00:40:40,626 --> 00:40:41,932 'beautiful things. 476 00:40:46,990 --> 00:40:48,299 'It's a dream.' 477 00:40:52,990 --> 00:40:56,989 FAIRGROUND-STYLE MUSIC 478 00:41:11,830 --> 00:41:13,669 (COMPUTER) Insufficient funds. 479 00:41:13,915 --> 00:41:15,585 'From Wraith Babes... ' 480 00:41:15,606 --> 00:41:16,911 'C'mon, girl... ' 481 00:41:17,608 --> 00:41:20,057 '..a Wraith Babes reality special.' 482 00:41:20,990 --> 00:41:23,400 I guess I'd like to be as big as Thelma one day. 483 00:41:24,347 --> 00:41:28,040 'Millions watched her glide through the Hot Shot curtain of dreams 484 00:41:28,065 --> 00:41:29,785 'to sing her heart out.' 485 00:41:30,423 --> 00:41:33,494 ♪ Oh, but anyone... ♪ 486 00:41:33,619 --> 00:41:36,669 'What happened next shocked them all.' 487 00:41:36,794 --> 00:41:38,469 We could really work with you. 488 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,196 Do we have a decision? 489 00:41:40,755 --> 00:41:44,185 'Now, watch her stunning erotic debut... ' 490 00:41:44,310 --> 00:41:48,149 ♪ PHARELL WILLIAMS: Lapdance 491 00:41:48,150 --> 00:41:49,568 No, no, no, no, no... 492 00:41:50,613 --> 00:41:52,389 'So, who do we have here?' 493 00:41:53,207 --> 00:41:54,509 I'm Abi. 494 00:41:55,125 --> 00:41:56,629 'You were at Hot Shot. 495 00:41:57,585 --> 00:41:59,799 'You were real impressive.' 496 00:42:02,513 --> 00:42:03,869 BEEPING 497 00:42:03,870 --> 00:42:05,589 (COMPUTER) Resume viewing! 498 00:42:05,590 --> 00:42:07,749 - No! No! - Resume viewing! 499 00:42:07,750 --> 00:42:09,189 Resume viewing! 500 00:42:09,190 --> 00:42:10,509 Resume viewing! Resume viewing! 501 00:42:10,510 --> 00:42:12,229 Resume viewing! Resume viewing! Resume viewing! 502 00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:15,589 Resume viewing! 503 00:42:15,590 --> 00:42:16,887 'Look at you. 504 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,307 'All clean and shiny.' 505 00:42:19,697 --> 00:42:21,636 BEEPING 506 00:42:21,724 --> 00:42:24,016 (COMPUTER) Portal disabled during commercial. 507 00:42:24,047 --> 00:42:26,269 'You'll see everything. 508 00:42:26,394 --> 00:42:28,251 'You'll see it all! 509 00:42:28,775 --> 00:42:30,367 'Open your mouth. 510 00:42:30,777 --> 00:42:32,953 'Open... take it in... 511 00:42:33,542 --> 00:42:36,676 'take it in... ahh... yeah... 512 00:42:36,801 --> 00:42:38,393 Aaarrghhh! 513 00:42:38,830 --> 00:42:42,829 No! No! No! No! 514 00:43:11,910 --> 00:43:15,909 (MALE HEAVY BREATHING) 515 00:43:21,750 --> 00:43:25,749 (ABBY MOANING) 516 00:44:12,590 --> 00:44:17,227 (ABBY SINGING FAINTLY) 517 00:44:50,792 --> 00:44:53,838 (TV) 'The hottest girls... ' 518 00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:38,079 MANIC LAUGHTER 519 00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,879 MANIC GIGGLING 520 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,879 CRAZED LAUGHTER CONTINUES 521 00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,639 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 522 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:27,999 PARTY MUSIC ECHOES INDISTINCTLY 523 00:48:31,458 --> 00:48:33,734 Could you stand aside, please? 524 00:48:36,624 --> 00:48:39,637 Come up into the back, in front of me, please. 525 00:48:39,762 --> 00:48:41,298 Are you messin'? 526 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,529 A what-nic one? 527 00:48:50,316 --> 00:48:53,027 Oh, an eth-nic one! Aah! 528 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:55,870 On it. 529 00:48:56,448 --> 00:48:59,843 We're going to preview, all right? Want to follow me in the back? 530 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,175 You're a prick! 531 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:07,494 Next, lot. 532 00:49:08,497 --> 00:49:09,803 Stand there! 533 00:49:13,566 --> 00:49:15,466 So what are you, a magician? 534 00:49:16,420 --> 00:49:17,676 An entertainer. 535 00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:21,959 Could you say that down the screen as a self-contained sentence? 536 00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:27,199 I'm an entertainer. 537 00:49:32,163 --> 00:49:34,936 Ah, before you go on, you need to drink a Cuppliance. 538 00:49:34,961 --> 00:49:37,284 They give me one back there. Really? Oh, OK. 539 00:49:37,409 --> 00:49:40,319 Well, in that case, you are good to... 540 00:49:41,455 --> 00:49:42,773 go. 541 00:49:56,294 --> 00:49:57,595 Who are you? 542 00:49:57,843 --> 00:49:59,239 Bing Madsen. 543 00:49:59,904 --> 00:50:01,732 What are you planning to do for us? 544 00:50:01,742 --> 00:50:03,044 What the fuck?! 545 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:04,590 'A sort of performance.' 546 00:50:05,433 --> 00:50:06,919 A sort of performance? 547 00:50:06,989 --> 00:50:08,290 Yes. 548 00:50:08,415 --> 00:50:10,740 Mmm! Man of mystery! 549 00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:12,709 Hmm. 550 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,612 I suppose we'd better see it. 551 00:50:18,209 --> 00:50:19,515 OK. 552 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,559 ♪ BASS INTRO, BUILDING IN INTENSITY 553 00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:30,999 ♪ HIP-HOP RHYTHM KICKS IN 554 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,999 CHEERING 555 00:51:00,923 --> 00:51:02,205 Knob'ead! 556 00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:03,888 Fucking cock! 557 00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:17,839 CROWD YELLS AND WHOOPS 558 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:21,427 Stop or I'll do it. This is a main artery. Keep walking, you kill me. 559 00:51:25,299 --> 00:51:28,930 No-one stops me till I've said my piece. Then you can do what you like. 560 00:51:28,939 --> 00:51:30,709 Man, just fucking kill yourself. 561 00:51:30,714 --> 00:51:34,399 Get heavy on me, I swear to God, I kick your ass back to life, 562 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,479 just so I could cut your goddamn head off. 563 00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,479 CROWD CHANTS 564 00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:39,789 Go on! 565 00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:45,279 I think we should let him speak. 566 00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:46,639 CHEERING 567 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,639 (CROWD CHANTS) Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak! 568 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,519 Let's hear what he has to say. 569 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,913 CHEERING 570 00:51:58,468 --> 00:51:59,778 Well? 571 00:51:59,799 --> 00:52:01,157 Come on. 572 00:52:01,639 --> 00:52:04,138 Got our attention, as requested. 573 00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:06,986 What do you want to say? 574 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,359 Have you prepared a speech, is that it? 575 00:52:15,332 --> 00:52:16,638 Speak! 576 00:52:16,643 --> 00:52:20,194 I haven't got a speech. I didn't plan words. I didn't even try to... 577 00:52:20,195 --> 00:52:23,749 I just knew I had to get here, to stand here, and I wanted you to listen. 578 00:52:23,750 --> 00:52:26,736 To really listen, not just pull a face like you're listening, 579 00:52:26,740 --> 00:52:28,411 like you do the rest of the time. 580 00:52:28,417 --> 00:52:31,040 A face that you're feeling instead of processing. 581 00:52:31,165 --> 00:52:33,839 You pull a face, and poke it towards the stage, 582 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:38,235 and we lah-di-dah, we sing and dance and tumble around. 583 00:52:38,244 --> 00:52:40,798 And all you see up here, it's not people, 584 00:52:40,810 --> 00:52:43,319 you don't see people up here, it's all fodder. 585 00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,784 And the faker the fodder, the more you love it, 586 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,479 because fake fodder's the only thing that works any more. 587 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,039 It's all that we can stomach. Actually, not quite all. 588 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,359 Real pain, real viciousness, that, we can take. 589 00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:54,996 Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole. 590 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,919 We laugh ourselves feral, because we've earned the right, 591 00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:00,438 we've done cell time and he's slacking, the scum, 592 00:53:00,444 --> 00:53:01,667 so ha-ha-ha at him! 593 00:53:01,682 --> 00:53:04,287 Because we're so out of our minds with desperation, 594 00:53:04,288 --> 00:53:06,030 we don't know any better. 595 00:53:06,055 --> 00:53:08,519 All we know is fake fodder and buying shit. 596 00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:10,319 That's how we speak to each other, 597 00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,568 how we express ourselves, is buying shit. 598 00:53:12,592 --> 00:53:13,959 What, I have a dream? 599 00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:18,265 The peak of our dreams is a new app for our Dopple, it doesn't exist! 600 00:53:18,289 --> 00:53:19,679 It's not even there! 601 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,439 We buy shit that's not even there. 602 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:24,639 Show us something real and free and beautiful. You couldn't. 603 00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:26,119 Yeah? It'd break us. 604 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,719 We're too numb for it. 605 00:53:27,720 --> 00:53:29,199 I might as well choke. 606 00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:31,239 It's only so much wonder we can bear. 607 00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:34,924 When you find any wonder whatsoever, you dole it out in meagre portions. 608 00:53:34,932 --> 00:53:37,267 Only then until it's augmented, packaged, and 609 00:53:37,279 --> 00:53:39,795 pumped through 10,000 preassigned filters 610 00:53:39,802 --> 00:53:42,839 till it's nothing more than a meaningless series of lights, 611 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:46,239 while we ride day in day out, going where? 612 00:53:47,123 --> 00:53:48,441 Powering what? 613 00:53:48,981 --> 00:53:52,226 All tiny cells and tiny screens and bigger cells 614 00:53:52,234 --> 00:53:54,004 and bigger screens and fuck you! 615 00:53:54,207 --> 00:53:57,313 Fuck you, that's what it boils down to. 616 00:53:58,022 --> 00:54:01,559 Fuck you for sitting there and slowly making things worse. 617 00:54:01,684 --> 00:54:05,119 Fuck you and your spotlight and your sanctimonious faces. 618 00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,399 Fuck you all for thinking the one thing 619 00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,639 I came close to never meant anything. 620 00:54:10,352 --> 00:54:14,572 For oozing around it and crushing it into a bone, into a joke. 621 00:54:14,580 --> 00:54:18,039 One more ugly joke in a kingdom of millions. 622 00:54:18,554 --> 00:54:20,487 Fuck you for happening. 623 00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,955 Fuck you for me, for us, for everyone. 624 00:54:24,973 --> 00:54:26,279 Fuck you! 625 00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,237 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 626 00:54:48,275 --> 00:54:50,824 That was, without a doubt, 627 00:54:52,657 --> 00:54:56,512 the most heartfelt thing I've seen on this stage 628 00:54:57,045 --> 00:54:58,786 since Hotshot began! 629 00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:03,596 CHEERING 630 00:55:04,271 --> 00:55:05,578 Brilliant! 631 00:55:06,003 --> 00:55:07,224 You... 632 00:55:07,923 --> 00:55:10,959 you're so articulating something we all, 633 00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,635 and I mean everyone in this hall, 634 00:55:14,017 --> 00:55:16,079 something we all agree on. 635 00:55:16,554 --> 00:55:19,279 Even though we may not comprehend all of it. 636 00:55:19,765 --> 00:55:22,762 I think I'm right in saying we do feel it. 637 00:55:24,130 --> 00:55:25,435 Even me. 638 00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:28,075 I know you've got me down as this creature. 639 00:55:28,597 --> 00:55:30,450 You know, hey... 640 00:55:31,977 --> 00:55:34,154 I get where you're coming from. 641 00:55:34,457 --> 00:55:36,708 - I like your stuff. - It's not stuff. 642 00:55:36,733 --> 00:55:38,717 It's truth. Am I right? 643 00:55:40,779 --> 00:55:44,319 Your truth, admittedly, but truth nonetheless. 644 00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:46,350 And you're right. 645 00:55:46,646 --> 00:55:50,177 Authenticity is in woefully short supply. 646 00:55:52,421 --> 00:55:54,477 I'd like to hear you talk again. 647 00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,190 How so? 648 00:55:59,769 --> 00:56:02,256 The slot on one of my streams 649 00:56:03,238 --> 00:56:05,651 where you can talk just like that. 650 00:56:09,061 --> 00:56:12,009 I'd watch it. It was such great passion. 651 00:56:14,459 --> 00:56:17,780 He's a'right. You're a little hot there, bud. 652 00:56:18,541 --> 00:56:20,842 That throat cutting thing? Neat gimmick. 653 00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:22,558 What do you say? 654 00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,359 30 minutes twice a week? 655 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,719 CHEERING 656 00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:32,260 (CROWD) Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 657 00:56:33,168 --> 00:56:37,707 Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 658 00:56:38,590 --> 00:56:42,839 Do it, do it, do it! 659 00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:44,519 Do it, do it, do it! 660 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,239 Go on, you bastard. 661 00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:50,239 (CROWD) Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 662 00:56:51,613 --> 00:56:53,068 Beats the bike. 663 00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:54,933 Certainly does. 664 00:56:55,440 --> 00:57:00,455 CHANTING CONTINUES 665 00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:14,999 'We have with us Oliver. Oliver ate and ate 666 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,999 'till he hit 17 stone and he's here today to try and beat us 667 00:57:19,316 --> 00:57:21,959 'on Botherguts! 668 00:57:23,207 --> 00:57:24,575 'Keep going.' 669 00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:30,155 ♪ They wept awhile 670 00:57:31,004 --> 00:57:34,279 ♪ Putting through the darkness... ♪ 671 00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:39,755 OK, I'm going to stop you there. That was achingly terrible. 672 00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:43,879 You have the magnetism of a towel. I don't ever want to look at you again. 673 00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,479 I have to agree. I'm so sorry, love. 674 00:57:47,744 --> 00:57:51,027 You came across as fundamentally unlikeable 675 00:57:51,052 --> 00:57:53,519 and really quite worthless. 676 00:57:54,542 --> 00:57:58,075 You could fill that pussy with honey and I still wouldn't fuck it. 677 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,346 I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah. 678 00:58:01,471 --> 00:58:03,239 Cos this is my destiny 679 00:58:03,467 --> 00:58:05,394 and I can sing, fu...! 680 00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:10,681 'Like that, don't you, Harry? 681 00:58:11,522 --> 00:58:12,839 'Ah-huh. 682 00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:14,199 'Say it. 683 00:58:14,813 --> 00:58:16,118 'Yeah. 684 00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:17,599 (LAUGHS) 685 00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:21,599 '15,000 new wardrobe options 686 00:58:21,686 --> 00:58:23,323 'launched last week alone. 687 00:58:24,212 --> 00:58:28,199 'It effectively translates as 15,000 new ways to kill time 688 00:58:28,324 --> 00:58:30,879 'in your cell before you explore an afterlife 689 00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:32,624 'which doesn't exist anyway. 690 00:58:32,985 --> 00:58:36,464 'With any luck, it'll take your mind off those saddle sores, eh? 691 00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:41,679 'You know the only thing stopping me from slashing myself open right now? 692 00:58:43,789 --> 00:58:45,704 'I might not die right away. 693 00:58:45,716 --> 00:58:47,894 'And before I went, they'd find a way 694 00:58:47,902 --> 00:58:50,079 'to charge my twitching half-dead cadaver, 695 00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:53,037 '20,000 merits for swabbing the walls clean.' 696 00:58:53,038 --> 00:58:54,348 - Yeah. - Anyway, 697 00:58:55,556 --> 00:58:56,998 'hang on in there 698 00:58:57,310 --> 00:58:58,611 if you must. 699 00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:06,999 'We're all in this together they say. 700 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:08,311 'Yeah, right. 701 00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:12,088 'Farewell for ever. 702 00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:16,506 'Till the same time next week.' 703 00:59:18,906 --> 00:59:20,212 BEEPING 704 00:59:20,844 --> 00:59:22,153 Stream off-line. 705 00:59:57,260 --> 00:59:58,565 ♪ Anyone 706 01:00:00,995 --> 01:00:02,387 ♪ Anyone 707 01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:06,033 ♪ Anyone 708 01:00:08,806 --> 01:00:10,124 ♪ Anyone 709 01:00:12,103 --> 01:00:14,689 ♪ You can blame me 710 01:00:15,871 --> 01:00:18,407 ♪ Try to shame me 711 01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:23,039 ♪ And still I'll care for you 712 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:29,822 ♪ You can run around 713 01:00:31,526 --> 01:00:34,013 ♪ Even put me down 714 01:00:34,362 --> 01:00:38,479 ♪ Still I'll be there for you 715 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:49,198 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 716 01:00:49,559 --> 01:00:52,426 ♪ They can't see you 717 01:00:53,580 --> 01:00:56,527 ♪ Like I can 718 01:00:57,120 --> 01:01:04,497 ♪ Oh, but anyone who knows what love is 719 01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:10,825 ♪ Will understand 720 01:01:14,438 --> 01:01:15,880 ♪ Anyone 721 01:01:18,348 --> 01:01:19,877 ♪ Anyone 722 01:01:20,337 --> 01:01:24,404 ♪ Oh, they'll understand 723 01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:27,550 ♪ Anyone 724 01:01:27,563 --> 01:01:32,090 ♪ If they try love they'll understand... ♪ 725 01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:40,599 Subtitles by APOLLO www.addic7ed.com