[We Wish You a Merry Christmas]
♪
[cracks]
♪
[bell dings]
GRETA KANE.
I HAVE YOUR DECAF SOY VANILLA LATTE
- AND A GLUTEN-FREE BAGEL. - THANK YOU.
- AND THANK YOU. - [scoffs]
THAT IS MY BREAKFAST, AL.
YEAH? WELL, HERE'S YOUR DINNER, BABY.
THANK YOU.
OOH. DECAF. WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT?
NICE SHOES.
HEY, THAT BIEBER KID CAN RUN. I GOTTA KEEP UP.
AREN'T YOU GONNA CHECK 'EM OUT?
PHOTOS OF A MARRIED ACTOR CHEATING, HMM?
COME ON. YOU KNOW THAT TRUE LOVE IS A MYTH.
YOU'VE BEEN SINGLE LONG ENOUGH.
SHOULDN'T BE, THOUGH. I LIKE YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS.
GIVE IT UP, AL.
I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT TRUE LOVE IS JUST A MYTH
FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS,
WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE THESE LOVELY PHOTOS OF--
- WOW. - YEAH. THIS WAY
- [cell phone chimes] - WOW.
OOH, DWIGHT YOAKAM'S EATING SUSHI. I GOTTA GO.
BUT NEXT TIME GET ME A DOUBLE ESPRESSO AND A CHEESE DANISH.
BRACE YOURSELF.
OH, DORIA. YOU LOOK...
LIKE MERINGUE EXPLODED.
I'M A GIANT POWDER PUFF.
YOU KNOW, WE'LL FIX IT.
IT IS OKAY. OKAY.
SO ALL THE WOMEN IN KEVIN'S FAMILY WEAR IT,
AND I'M GONNA WEAR IT.
IT'S A LOVE TRADITION.
MY COUSIN RON HAS BEEN ASKING ABOUT YOU.
HE'S VERY...HANDSOME.
- HE'S ORANGE. - YEAH.
ACTORS HAVE TO SPRAY TAN. IT IS PART OF THE JOB.
WHAT ABOUT CARLOS?
UH, HE'S 4'10", AND BESIDES, I'M MARRIED TO MY JOB.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU STILL WORK FOR THAT GOSSIP RAG.
[sighs] BECAUSE THE BILLS DON'T PAY THEMSELVES.
I'M SERIOUS, GRETA.
YOU ARE PHI BETA KAPPA FROM STANFORD.
WELL, I HAPPEN TO BE GOOD AT IT.
BESIDES, FINDING A PRESTIGIOUS JOB WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE
IS ABOUT AS DIFFICULT AS FINDING A DECENT GUY IN L.A.
CYNIC.
- REALIST. - SMUDGE!
- NO, NO, NO! NO, NO, NO SMUDGE! - I SEE IT! I SEE IT!
WE'LL HAVE IT OUT BY TOMORROW AFTERNOON.
TOMORROW AFTERNOON KEVIN AND I ARE MEETING THE FLORIST
FOR LAST-MINUTE CHANGES.
OKAY, DON'T STRESS. THE CEREMONY'S NOT TOMORROW.
DON'T STRESS.
I HAVE EVERY MOMENT OF NEXT WEEK PLANNED UNTIL I LAND IN HAWAII
AND SOMEONE HANDS ME A LITTLE DRINK WITH AN UMBRELLA IN IT.
I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO PICK UP THIS DRESS AGAIN!
OKAY, BRIDEZILLA, I LOVE YOU.
I WILL PICK UP THIS DRESS FOR YOU TOMORROW AFTER THE GYM,
AND I WILL KEEP IT TOTALLY SAFE.
- REALLY? - YES.
- OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! - [laughs]
[orchestral music]
♪
- WOW! - LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
- WOW! - [laughs]
MY ILLUSIONS-- THEY'RE SHATTERED.
WAIT TILL YOU COVER YOUR FIRST BOY BAND.
HE JUST GOT MARRIED TOO.
THAT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
I KNOW, BUT--
JULIE, YOU KNOW THE DEAL. THEY SIN, WE REPORT.
IT'S THE CIRCLE OF CELEB LIFE,
AND WE CAN'T FEEL BAD FOR THEM.
AS SOON AS WE START TO FEEL BAD FOR THEM,
WE CAN'T WRITE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE.
AND BELIEVE ME, I HAVE WORKED HERE LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW
THESE FOLKS DON'T DESERVE OUR SYMPATHY.
HEY, GRETA. GOOD ONE ON BEACH BODIES GONE BAD.
[chuckles] THANKS, BILL.
GRETA!
WES! IN MY OFFICE, PRONTO!
WES?
WHY IS HE CALLING FOR WES THE WEASEL?
I HEARD A RUMOR--
CHRIS HALLOCK LEFT US FOR THE GLOBE.
I WANT THE JONAS BROTHERS.
HE CAN HAVE THE JONAS BROTHERS.
I DON'T WANT THE JONAS BROTHERS.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE JONAS BROTHERS.
HALLOCK WAS GONNA HELP US LAUNCH PULSE! GOSSIP ONLINE.
- WE'RE ALREADY ONLINE. - EXCLUSIVELY.
NO MORE PRINT.
LIKE NEWSWEEK DID.
YEAH, BUT WITH MORE BEYONCE.
THING IS WE NEED A STORY FOR THE LAUNCH,
SO LET'S TALK THE TANNENHILLS.
- TANNENHILLS? - WEST COAST KENNEDYS.
- YEAH, SURE. - SENATOR EVAN TANNENHILL
WAS GONNA MAKE A RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY, BUT--
BUT DIED OF A HEART ATTACK
BEFORE HIS PLANS GOT OFF THE GROUND.
- HIS WIDOW MAGGIE TANNENHILL-- - IS BIG INTO PHILANTHROPY.
CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, GETTY, RED CROSS.
- TWO SONS. - BENJAMIN, JARED.
MOST OF THE GOSSIP THE PAST FEW YEARS HAS BEEN ABOUT JARED.
THOUGH BEN TANNENHILL DID HAVE
THAT BIG BREAKUP WITH A SOCIALITE.
- CLAIRE SINCLAIRE. - OVER A YEAR AGO.
BUT NOBODY SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THERE.
OH, PLEASE.
HE WANTED TO PLAY THE FIELD, AND SHE GOT IN THE WAY.
TANNENHILLS ARE GONNA BE
AT THEIR BIG BEAR ESTATE NEXT WEEK FOR CHRISTMAS,
FIRST ONE SINCE THE SENATOR'S DEATH.
RUMOR HAS IT ONE OF THE TANNENHILL BOYS
HAS BOUGHT AN ENGAGEMENT RING.
WELL, IT HAS TO BE BEN.
JARED HASN'T HAD THE SAME GIRLFRIEND
- FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE SECONDS. - WHO'S THE WOMAN?
THAT'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO FIND OUT
AND ANYTHING ELSE ALONG THE WAY.
- both: WHO TO FIND OUT? - WHOEVER GETS THERE FIRST.
- SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE. - IT IS.
YOU TWO ARE MY BEST REPORTERS.
WHOEVER GETS THIS STORY
GETS TO RUN THE NEW PULSE! GOSSIP ONLINE.
[typing]
HELLO, HANDSOME.
OKAY, BEN TANNENHILL, WHO IS IT NOW?
[typing]
CLAIRE SINCLAIRE.
HEY, JULES, HAVE YOU SEEN WES?
HE DIDN'T COME BACK TODAY.
[sighs] COULD YOU FIND OUT WHERE HE IS?
- I HAVE SOME ERRANDS TO RUN. - I'M ON IT.
[phone rings]
HEY, JULES.
DON'T FREAK, BUT MAGGIE TANNENHILL
ARRIVED AT BIG BEAR YESTERDAY.
THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TILL NEXT WEEK.
THAT'S NOT ALL. WES IS ALREADY THERE.
WHAT? WES IS GONNA GET MY STORY!
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? - THE ONLY THING I CAN.
[beeps]
NOT GONNA GET MY STORY.
[sighs]
[brakes squeal]
[tires screech] [sighs]
[groans]
[cheerful orchestral music]
♪
ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ADDRESS?
ALL I SEE IS SNOW.
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE LAST ROAD YOU PASSED?
UH, PINEVIEW.
YOU SHOULD BE GETTING CLOSE TO THE TANNENHILL ESTATE.
AWESOME.
GRETA, DID YOU BY SOME CHANCE PACK ANYTHING
BEFORE YOU DASHED OFF IN A COMPETITIVE FURY?
I'LL BUY SOMETHING WHEN I'M UP THERE.
TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. WES CANNOT WIN.
UH-HUH. AND HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE GONNA STAY?
- STAY? - YOU KNOW.
MOTEL, HOTEL, MANGER. IT IS THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
DEAREST BOSS LADY, WHOM I ADORE,
THIS IS NOT YOUR CLEAREST THOUGHT-OUT PLAN.
METHINKS YOU NEED TO COME BACK, PLOT THIS CORRECTLY.
HA! CAN'T TURN BACK NOW. MM-MM.
JULIE?
GRETA?
GRETA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
JULES?
JULIE? HELLO.
- [clicking, beep] - OH, BOY.
[sighs] OKAY. OKAY.
[mutters]
[thud] OH!
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. I GOT THIS.
[engine revving] COME ON.
COME ON, GIRL!
COME ON! [engine revs]
OKAY, OKAY.
WHOO! OH, IT'S COLD! OH, MY GOD.
JUST GONNA PUSH. JUST GONNA--
[grunts]
OKAY. OKAY. NOT WORKING. NOT WORKING.
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
OOH! OKAY. OKAY.
COME ON. COME ON.
RECEPTION. GET RECEPTION.
GET RECEPTION, COME ON.
COME ON. ANYTHING?
[sighs] OKAY. OKAY.
SO COLD. [sighs]
[groans]
I WILL NOT PANIC.
PANICKING-- [engine dies]
[sighs]
[shivering]
[whimpers]
I AM SO SORRY, BRIDEZILLA, BUT THIS IS SURVIVAL.
OKAY.
YOU WILL THANK ME WHEN I AM STILL
A BRIDESMAID AT THE WEDDING.
[grunting]
OH, YOU MUST LOVE HIM.
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
[gasps]
OKAY.
WHOA!
[grunts]
WHY? WHY?
AH!
WHOA!
[wood clatters]
ALL RIGHT, COME ON. COME ON.
[grunts]
THERE YOU ARE.
ALL RIGHT. [dog whimpers]
ALL RIGHT.
[rubbing Greta's hand] COME ON.
HI.
HI?
YOU NEARLY JUST DIE IN A SNOWSTORM,
AND ALL YOU GOT IS "HI."
- OH. - OKAY. [grunts]
THERE YOU GO. TAKE IT EASY.
- [sighs] - YOU OKAY?
UH, YEAH, UH--
UH, I'M--
I'M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
I SAID, JUDGING BY YOUR OUTFIT AND LACK OF GROOM,
YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE HAVING A GREAT DAY.
[chuckles] UH, YEAH, NO.
NOT SO MUCH.
LET ME GUESS. RUNAWAY BRIDE?
RUNAWAY ALMOST BRIDE.
IT'S, UM...
I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
WELL, YOU, UH, DEFINITELY GOT THE SHOES FOR THE RUNNING.
THAT IS AN INSIDE JOKE BETWEEN ME AND MY FIANCE...
- HMM. - UH, AL.
AL LOVES RUNNING SHOES.
- AND CHEESE DANISH. - HMM.
SORRY.
IT'S OKAY, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
IN TIME.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
I'M GRETA KANE-- NABLESTEINSKI.
- KANENABLEST-- - STEINSKI.
- WOW, THAT'S A-- - MM-HMM.
WH-- WHERE'S THAT FROM?
- ELLIS ISLAND. - AH.
THEY JUST, YOU KNOW, BLENDED THE FAMILIES WHEN ST--
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
BEN.
JUST BEN?
JUST BEN.
AND THIS-- THIS IS BRUDY.
[laughs] NICE TO MEET YOU, JUST BRUDY.
HI. [smooches, laughs]
GOOD BOY.
JUST BEN, DO YOU-- DO YOU THINK I COULD BORROW YOUR PHONE?
YOU CAN, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA DO YOU ANY GOOD.
THE LANDLINE'S CURRENTLY DOWN,
AND THIS PLACE DOESN'T GET CELL RECEPTION.
AND WITH THIS STORM, NO ONE IS GOING ANYWHERE TONIGHT.
OKAY.
I'M GUESSING YOU DIDN'T PACK A CHANGE OF CLOTHES BEFORE YOU...
[laughs] UH, NO, IT'S-- TODAY'S JUST BEEN ONE OF THOSE,
YOU KNOW, SPUR-OF-THE-MOMENT, REALLY WEIRD KIND OF DAYS.
- IT LOOKS THAT WAY. - YEAH.
WELL...
I DON'T THINK WE'RE EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE, BUT...
VOILA.
THE LATEST IN LADY LUMBERJACK COUTURE.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE FLANNEL.
I AM SO DEAD.
[O Come, All Ye Faithful]
♪
UH, HOPE YOU LIKE CHAMOMILE.
OH, YEAH. ANYTHING WARM.
SO, UM, THIS IS THE GUEST ROOM,
AND, UH, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOUR CAR IN THE MORNING.
- THANK YOU. - OKAY.
YOU, UH, HAVE A LOVELY HOME.
IS IT JUST YOU?
- AND BRUDY AND NOW YOU. - MM.
ACTUALLY, THIS IS THE CARETAKER'S CABIN
FOR A BIGGER ESTATE.
YOU HEARD OF THE TANNENHILLS?
TANNENHILL.
YEAH, THAT NAME SOUNDS FAMILIAR.
EVAN TANNENHILL WAS A SENATOR FOR MANY YEARS.
YES.
RIGHT. [chuckles] OF COURSE.
AND THIS WAS HIS RETREAT.
BUT NOW THIS IS THE CARETAKER'S CABIN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE ESTATE'S A 1/2 MILE UP THE ROAD.
SO THAT MAKES YOU...
YOUR CARETAKER FOR THE EVENING.
[glasses clink]
WELL, ALL RIGHTY. [chuckles]
MM. WHAT'S THIS?
UH, JUST--
IT'S NOTHING.
STUFF.
OKAY?
[chuckles] NOTHING LOOKS A WHOLE LOT LIKE A BOOK.
GOOD NIGHT.
OH. [squeals]
[Jingle Bells]
♪
OH.
GOOD MORNING, JUST BEN AND BRUDY.
GOOD MORNING, SNOW BRIDE.
[chuckles]
SNOW BRIDE?
YEAH, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE, UH...
TOO SOON?
HUMOR IS THE BEST FORM OF REVENGE.
YEAH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S HOW THE SAYING GOES.
IT DOES NOW.
I CHECKED YOUR CAR.
- OH. - GOOD JOB WITH THAT.
IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
AT LEAST NOT UNTIL WE GET A TOW TRUCK UP HERE.
AND HOW WILL WE DO THAT WITH NO WORKING PHONE?
UM, I'M DUE UP AT THE ESTATE HOUSE.
I CAN CALL FROM THERE.
YOU HUNGRY?
A LITTLE BIT. [chuckles]
I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN SCRAPE UP.
BACON.
YEA OR NAY?
BACON. YES. I AM YEA FOR BACON.
- [chuckles] - GOOD.
WHAT IS IT YOU DO, EXACTLY?
I'M...IN FLUX.
YEAH, ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
- HUH? OH, RIGHT, THAT. - HOW ARE YOU DOING...
WITH THAT?
IT'S LIKE I FEEL NOTHING.
I ALMOST HAD A FIANCEE ONCE,
SO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.
WHAT HAPPENED?
SHE WAS NOT WHAT SHE APPEARED TO BE.
[knock at door]
UH...
- [chuckles] - [chuckles]
OH. OH. [blows]
BENJAMIN, I APPRECIATE
THAT THIS SUPER SECRET PROJECT OF YOURS
- REQUIRES ABSOLUTE SOLITUDE. - IT DOES.
BUT I DO WISH THE LANDLINE TO BE REACTIVATED.
PHONES ARE A DISTRACTION.
PHONES ALLOW COMMUNICATIONS OVER GREAT DISTANCES
MUCH EASIER ON MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE WHO HAVE
TO WALK THROUGH THE COLD TO RELAY AN OTHERWISE VERY...
[sighs] VERY SIMPLE MESSAGE.
SORRY, PETERS. BUT THE QUIET WAS HELPFUL.
WONDERFUL, NOW, YOUR MOTHER WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE JOINING HER AND YOUR BROTHER FOR BRUNCH.
- IS JARED HERE? - HE'S ON HIS WAY.
UM... I'LL BE UP WITHIN THE HOUR.
MARVELOUS.
OH, UH...
THERE'S AN EXTRA RAZOR IN THE BATHROOM CABINET.
THANKS, PETERS.
METHINKS JUST BEN IS NOT THE CARETAKER.
TECHNICALLY, THAT WOULD BE PETERS, WHO JUST LEFT.
SOMETIMES I BORROW HIS PLACE.
THOUGH, TECHNICALLY, IT BELONGS TO MY FAMILY.
SO, TECHNICALLY, THAT MAKES YOU...
BEN TANNENHILL.
[chuckles]
WOW.
LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT MISLEADING YOU.
IT WAS JUST...
NICE BEING JUST BEN FOR A WHILE.
[smoke alarm beeping]
[gasps]
[sighs]
- WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE BACON. - [laughs]
IT'S OKAY. I'M FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'LL COME UP TO THE HOUSE WITH ME.
WE'LL GET YOU FED, AND I'LL CALL THE TOW TRUCK.
[birds chirping]
[Hark! The Herald Angels Sing]
♪
MOM?
PETERS?
HELLO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, WAIT HERE WHILE I GO FIND THEM.
- OKAY. - OKAY.
ANYBODY?
EXCUSE ME, MISS.
- UH... - MAY I HELP YOU?
YOU'RE MAGGIE TANNENHILL.
YES.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING FOR ME?
- HAVE SOMETHING? - A PACKAGE FOR ME?
BECAUSE ALL PACKAGES GO THROUGH PETERS.
OH, NO, I-- [chuckles]
UH, RIGHT. PETERS--
I SAW HIM SORT OF--
DID PETERS JUST LEAVE YOU HERE?
- HOW UNLIKE HIM. - MOM.
- BEN. - HEY.
WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU CAME UP
FROM THAT LONELY, LITTLE CABIN.
- WELL-- - AND YOU SHAVED.
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A PROTESTER ANYMORE.
HELLO, BRUDY. COME HERE. I WANT A HUG.
- MOM, DON'T OVERINDULGE HIM. - OH, OF COURSE I WILL.
SPEAKING OF OVERINDULGENCE,
YOUR BROTHER AND HIS MYSTERY GUEST WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
HIS MYSTERY GUEST?
YEAH, JARED CALLED THIS MORNING AND SAID THAT
HE'S BRINGING A GUEST, AND THAT WE WOULD BE SURPRISED.
JARED AND HIS GUEST HAVE JUST PULLED UP.
- IS SHE BLONDE OR BLONDER? - [chuckles]
BENJAMIN, I-I THINK YOU--
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE CHRISTMAS WEEK CAN FINALLY BEGIN.
JARED, HONEY.
- MOM. - MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OH, IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT. LOOK AT YOU.
[mocking British accent] OH, PETERS,
HOW ARE YOU, SIR? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YOU GOOD? - GOOD.
BEN, LOOK. I TRIED TO CALL YOU.
I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU, BUT, WELL, YOUR PHONE WAS TURNED OFF.
TELL ME WHAT?
[gasps]
HI, BEN.
CLAIRE, WHAT A SURPRISE TO SEE YOU HERE AGAIN.
ALWAYS A PLEASURE, MAGGIE.
UH, WELL, WE-- WE BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER OVER HALLOWEEN.
HALLOWEEN.
YEAH, WELL, UH--
WELL, I WAS IN NEW YORK, AND, WELL...
WELL, WHAT-- WHAT JARED IS TRYING TO SAY
IS THAT WE'RE DATING.
FOR OBVIOUS REASONS,
WE WANTED TO WAIT AND SEE WHERE IT DEVELOPS
BEFORE WE TOLD ANYONE.
BUT I THINK-- I THINK NOW WE KNOW.
UM...
BEN, LISTEN, I, UH...
WHO ARE YOU?
OH, YES, UM, WHO ARE YOU? YOU NEVER DID SAY.
GRETA.
GRETA KANENABLESTEINSKI.
[clears throat]
- AND I AM A-- - MY DATE FOR THE WEEKEND.
WHAT?
IT WAS IMPULSIVE. I'M NOT IMPULSIVE.
I AM THE OPPOSITE OF IMPULSIVE.
BUT YOUR BROTHER BROUGHT HOME YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND
FOR CHRISTMAS WITHOUT TELLING YOU FIRST.
I'M SORRY. I WILL EXPLAIN WHY YOU CAN'T STAY.
WAIT, NO. NO.
WE'RE NOT LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS.
- WE? - WE. YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
HELPING YOU SAVE FACE IS THE LEAST I CAN DO.
WE CAN'T PULL THIS OFF. BESIDES, YOU HAVE A FIANCE.
EX-FIANCE. I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
BUT I CAN TALK ABOUT HELPING A FELLOW BROKEN HEART.
[chuckles]
I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.
OKAY, WE ARE A NEW ROMANCE.
WE JUST NEED TO WORK OUT THE BASICS.
- THE BASICS. - BASICS.
I'M AN ONLY CHILD, ORPHAN.
MY PARENTS DIED WHEN I WAS FOUR,
AND I WAS RAISED BY MY NANA, WHO ALSO DIED A FEW YEARS AGO,
BUT NOT BEFORE SHE WATCHED ME GRADUATE FROM STANFORD.
- I'M ALSO AN ARIES. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
I WAS BORN ON APRIL 7TH.
- WHEN WERE YOU BORN? - JANUARY 6TH.
- CAPRICORN? - YEAH.
- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? - ITALIAN.
EVERYONE'S FAVORITE FOOD IS ITALIAN.
INDIAN?
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA ROCKS.
- YEAH. [laughs] - OKAY.
OKAY, WHERE DID WE MEET?
BEVERLY HILLS.
WHEN YOUR CAR BROKE DOWN AND I CAME TO THE RESCUE.
- THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU. - OH, THANKS. ALLERGIES?
- NOPE. YOU? - JUST YOUNGER BROTHERS.
[both chuckle]
- WHERE'D YOU GO TO SCHOOL? - HARVARD.
COURSE YOU DID. DID YOU CREW?
- CAPTAIN. - YOU'RE RIDICULOUS.
AT OXFORD, IT WAS RUGBY.
I STILL HAVE A SCAR ON MY LEFT SHIN
WHERE NILES JACOBY-HOWE SLICED ME DURING A SCRUM.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS,
BUT I HOPE YOU GOT IT DISINFECTED.
- AND ONE MORE THING. - WHAT?
FAKE DATING AT CHRISTMAS MEANS CHANCES ARE
WE'LL FIND OURSELVES UNDER MISTLETOE AT SOME POINT,
AND IF THAT WAS OUR FIRST KISS, PEOPLE WOULD KNOW.
NOW WE'RE SET.
I JUST WANT TO GO ON RECORD
THAT I'M A MUCH BETTER KISSER WHEN I'M NOT AMBUSHED.
MY CAR BROKE DOWN.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS. - IN BEVERLY HILLS.
AND I HAD LEFT MY PHONE AT HOME LIKE A DINGBAT,
AND WHO SHOULD COME BY AND SAVE THE DAY?
CAPTAIN HANDSOME.
[chuckles] THAT IS MY PET NAME FOR HIM
FROM HIS HARVARD CREW DAYS,
AND WE ARE NOT EVEN GONNA GO INTO HIS OXFORD SCRUM.
RUGBY.
OH, BEFORE I FORGET, GRETA,
PETERS HERE ASKED WHERE HE SHOULD GET YOUR THINGS.
- MY THINGS? - YOUR LUGGAGE.
NOT THAT YOUR PRESENT ATTIRE ISN'T COMFORTABLE,
BUT I DON'T IMAGINE YOU PLAN TO WEAR THAT
FOR YOUR ENTIRE STAY.
VERY TRUE.
UNFORTUNATELY, MY LUGGAGE IS NOT HERE.
AH. WHERE IS IT?
AT HOME IN LOS ANGELES.
IN MY CLOSET. I DIDN'T BRING ANYTHING.
- ANYTHING? - NOPE.
YOU SEE, BEN TOTALLY SURPRISED ME.
YOU COULD SAY THAT HE JUST SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET
AND BROUGHT ME HERE WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED IT.
BEN.
BEN. HE IS SO ROMANTIC AND SPONTANEOUS.
- THIS BEN? - YES, THIS BEN.
I MAY NOT HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO SPONTANEOUS AND ROMANTIC,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT GRETA THAT BRINGS IT OUT OF ME.
OH, POOKIE.
YOU JUST SAY THE MOST CRUSHABLE THINGS.
[Greta and Ben laugh]
LIKE, "DON'T PACK ANYTHING,
JUST COME AWAY, SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER."
[sighs] AND SO I DID.
GRETA, I'M GOING INTO TOWN
TO BUY SOME NEEDED ITEMS FOR TOMORROW.
PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO ACCOMPANY ME,
PICK UP SOME ESSENTIALS?
OH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. THANK YOU.
I HAVE A FEW THINGS THAT I NEED TO PICK UP AS WELL.
I'LL COME WITH.
[Jingle Bells]
♪
THERE'S A PLACE TO GET BAKING SUPPLIES JUST UP THERE
IF EITHER OF YOU HAVE SUCH AN AFFINITY.
WELL, AS YOU KNOW, MAGGIE, I STUDIED AT PARIS
AT LE CORDON BLEU FOR A SUMMER IN COLLEGE.
I DID NOT. [chuckles]
BUT MY NANA AND I USED TO MAKE
GINGERBREAD COOKIES EVERY CHRISTMAS.
GINGERBREAD COOKIES ARE EXACTLY
WHAT THESE CHILDREN WILL WANT.
CHILDREN?
EVERY CHRISTMAS, THE TANNENHILLS BRING BAKED GOODS
- TO THE LOCAL CHARITY BAKE SALE. - YOU REMEMBER.
I REMEMBER MY TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY WITH GREAT FONDNESS.
SO IT WOULD SEEM. ALL RIGHT, LADIES.
GO AND GET WHAT YOU NEED FOR BAKING OR WHATEVER ELSE.
WE'LL MEET BACK HERE IN AN HOUR.
[Tchaikovsky's Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy]
♪
EXCUSE ME. HOW MUCH FOR THIS?
THE GINGERBREAD HOUSE? THAT'S 50 BUCKS.
OKAY, GREAT.
I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS.
USE WHATEVER'S LEFT FOR DELIVERY CHARGES,
I WANT YOU TO DELIVER THAT TO THE TANNENHILL HOUSE BY 4:00.
I WANT YOU TO CALL ME ON THIS NUMBER,
AND I'LL COME OUT AND PICK IT UP.
NOW THIS PART IS VERY IMPORTANT.
NO ONE CAN SEE YOU BUT ME.
BUT, MISS, THAT'S A DISPLAY.
IT'S GONNA TAKE ME AT LEAST A DAY AND A HALF--
I DON'T HAVE A DAY AND A HALF.
- BUT-- - JUST-- YEAH, BUT--
JUST BRING THAT ONE.
LOOK...
BRING THAT ONE.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL BRING THAT ONE.
NO, NO, NO. NO TANNENHILLS ARE ENGAGED YET.
BUT I KNOW WHICH ONE MIGHT BE, AND IF THIS GOES DOWN,
- THE NEWS WILL BE JUICY. - GOOD. GOOD.
WELL, JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET IT. WITH PICTURES.
I WILL, I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW
I'M EXPECTING THE CORNER OFFICE WITH THIS PROMOTION.
[chuckles] DON'T GET TOO COCKY.
YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE STORY YET.
AND WES HAS ANGLES TOO.
WHAT ANGLES? OH, GOD.
[phone beeps] [chuckles]
HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
HANGING CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS.
[scoffs] AND SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU DONE THAT?
SINCE THIS IS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS
THAT MOMS WANTED TO HAVE SINCE DADS PASSED AWAY.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
THAT CARES ABOUT THIS FAMILY, BEN.
UH-HUH.
ARE YOU GONNA BE HOSTILE TO ME ALL WEEK?
WELL, I DIDN'T LOB THE FIRST SHOT.
YOU KNOW, CLAIRE WASN'T A SHOT.
- SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND. - MY EX, JARED!
AND THAT WAS OVER A YEAR AGO.
AREN'T YOU OVER HER BY NOW?
I MEAN, ISN'T THAT WHAT GRETA'S ALL ABOUT?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT GRETA, AND YOU KNOW IT.
IT'S ABOUT RESPECT.
CLAIRE WAS ALMOST MY FIANCEE.
YOU BRINGING HER HERE WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST
IS DISRESPECTFUL BOTH TO ME AND TO MOM.
THAT'S FAMILY 101,
AND EVEN SOMEONE AS SELFISH AS YOU SHOULD RECOGNIZE THAT.
HERE WE GO AGAIN, RIGHT? IS THIS IT?
IS THIS BEN THE SAINT AND JARED THE SELFISH ONE?
STOP ACTING LIKE THE SELFISH ONE,
AND PEOPLE WON'T CALL YOU THAT.
HEY, GUYS! KNOCK IT OFF!
- [dog whimpers] - HOW OLD ARE YOU?
- 34. - AND YOU, HOW OLD?
YOUNGER THAN THAT.
BUT OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER THAN TO ENGAGE
IN THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR.
THIS IS CHRISTMAS.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS TIME OF YEAR MEANS TO ME.
- NOW MORE THAN EVER. - SORRY, MOM.
- I'M SORRY TOO. - IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.
I CAN'T SAY I'M SORRY?
STOP THIS.
OKAY, BOTH OF YOU, GO TO YOUR ROOMS.
DID YOU JUST GET SENT TO YOUR ROOM BY YOUR MOTHER?
- SEXY, HUH? - [laughs]
PRETTY SURE CLAIRE STILL FINDS YOU PLENTY SEXY.
- CLAIRE? - YUP.
YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE TIME I WAS HANGING OUT WITH HER
AND YOUR MOTHER, SHE ACTED LIKE IT WAS A COMPETITION.
AND I'M PRETTY SURE IT WASN'T TO BE NUMBER ONE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
SHE STILL LIKES YOU.
SHE LIKES THE IDEA OF BEING A TANNENHILL.
I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, SHE ALREADY HAS ONE,
AND IT STILL HASN'T STOPPED HER FROM STARING AT YOU
LIKE SHE'S A KID OUTSIDE A CANDY STORE.
GRETA.
I SPOTTED THESE PURCHASES YOU LEFT IN THE LIVING ROOM.
OH, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BRING THEM UP.
OH, NO, NO, NO, IT'S PERFECTLY FINE.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO WITH THEM?
UH, IN MY ROOM, I GUESS. YEAH.
WELL, THIS...IS YOUR BEDROOM, WITH BENJAMIN.
ISN'T IT?
OF COURSE IT IS. THANK YOU, PETERS.
YEAH, THERE IS FINE.
AH.
[sighs]
HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED?
- WE'RE GOOD. - UH-HUH.
GOOD.
- I'LL TAKE THE FLOOR. - I'LL TAKE THE COUCH.
DON'T TAKE THE COUCH, TAKE THE BED.
NO, I'LL TAKE THE FLOOR.
DON'T TAKE THE FLOOR, TAKE THE BED.
- FINE, I'LL TAKE THE BED. - I'LL TAKE THE COUCH.
TAKE THIS FLOUR, PUT IT ON THE BOARD,
AND THEN JUST ROLL THE DOUGH ON IT.
- FLOUR ON THE BOARD. - MM-HMM.
- ROLLING THE DOUGH. - YUP.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT THAT MUCH FLOUR ON THE BOARD.
- ALL RIGHT. - MM-HMM.
- JUST ROLL IT? - [laughs] YEAH.
- OKAY. - JUST, UH--
YEAH, TRY NOT TO MAKE IT TOO THIN.
HOW DOES IT BREAK UP LIKE THIS?
- I DON'T-- - UM, MAYBE IF YOU--
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. - [laughs]
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOW ME. - [laughs] YEAH, OKAY.
- HOW DO YOU DO IT? - OKAY, UM...
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IF YOU, UH, YEAH, TRY SOME CIRCULAR--
- CIRCULAR? LIKE HOW? - MAYBE-- YEAH.
GO AROUND THAT WAY.
- THERE YOU GO. SEE, YOU GOT IT. - OKAY.
SEE? VERY GOOD. [chuckles]
OH, HEY, JARED, HOW ARE YOU?
IT SMELLS GREAT IN HERE. WHAT ARE YOU--
UH, WE JUST FINISHED THE FIRST BATCH IF YOU WANT TO TRY ONE.
- YEAH. - HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU, GRETA.
- YEAH? - MM.
- IT'S GOOD, RIGHT? - YEAH.
NICE. WELL, HERE IS A BAG OF ICING
IF YOU WANT TO GIVE DECORATING A SHOT.
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
I'M TRUSTING YOU.
YEAH, JUST...
JUST SQUEEZE?
YOU GOTTA HOLD IT AT AN ANGLE. IT'S LIKE A--
- LIKE THAT? - I'LL SHOW YOU.
- YOU, UH-- YOU TWIST AT THE TOP. - MM-HMM.
AND YOU HOLD IT AT AN ANGLE.
AND THAT MAKES DOING THE PIPING REALLY EASY.
LIKE THAT. GIVE IT A SHOT.
ALL RIGHT, WHERE'D YOU LEARN HOW TO DO THAT?
- GRETA JUST SHOWED ME. - YEAH.
- [laughter] - SOMETHING SMELLS DELICIOUS.
- both: HEY. - IT'S MY NANA'S SECRET RECIPE.
WHAT'S THE SECRET?
WELL, I CAN'T TELL YOU THE SECRET.
- WHITE PEPPER AND CARDAMOM. - HEY.
THE HAZARDS OF HAVING ME HELP.
NO. [laughs] GOD.
- OH. - OH, THANK YOU.
COOKIES. HOW CHARMING.
WELL, YOU SEE, I'M THE, UH-- THE PASTRY BAG MASTER,
SO YOU LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANY HELP
WITH YOUR GINGERBREAD HOUSE.
WHOA. GINGERBREAD HOUSE?
YOU SURE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TIME?
I HAVE IT COMPLETELY UNDER CONTROL.
AFTER EVERYONE GOES TO BED AND I HAVE TIME TO FOCUS,
I'M GOING TO CREATE A GINGERBREAD HOUSE
THAT WILL DAZZLE.
WELL, I'M SURE THE CHILDREN WILL LOVE IT.
WHERE ARE WE GOING TOMORROW?
THE COMMUNITY GETS TOGETHER IN TOWN
- TO HELP UNDERPRIVILEGED YOUTHS. - OH.
GRETA, THIS IS A TANNENHILL FAMILY TRADITION.
RUNNING FOR OFFICE IS ALSO A TANNENHILL TRADITION.
RIGHT, BEN?
DID BENJAMIN TELL YOU HIS PLAN
TO BE THE NEXT TANNENHILL IN OFFICE?
- UNLESS JARED BEATS ME TO IT. - [chuckles]
SO WHY IS THAT FUNNY?
WELL, YOU'RE A STOCKBROKER.
[scoffs] SO?
WELL, STOCKBROKERS DON'T RUN FOR OFFICE.
- HUH. - MAYBE THEY SHOULD.
FOLLOWING YOUR HEART IS WHAT MATTERS.
[kettle whistles]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, I'M SORRY. IT WAS JUST OUT AND--
SO YOU JUST DECIDED TO READ IT?
IT'S REALLY GOOD.
THIS IS PRIVATE, IT--
YOU LIKE IT?
WELL, I'M ONLY A LITTLE WAYS INTO IT,
BUT IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH TO RECOGNIZE TALENT.
AND, BEN, YOU'RE REALLY TALENTED.
THANKS.
IT'S A ROMANCE, ISN'T IT?
I WOULD'VE THOUGHT A POLITICIAN
WOULD WRITE MORE ABOUT HISTORY OR POLICY.
- [chuckles] - I'M NOT A POLITICIAN.
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT--
I GUESS EVERYBODY ASSUMED
THAT YOU WOULD JUST ENTER, LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOUR FATHER.
THAT IS WHAT'S EXPECTED OF ME.
BUT NOT WHAT YOU WANT.
TANNENHILLS AREN'T NOVELISTS.
- JUDGES OR SENATORS OR-- - STOCKBROKERS?
JARED CAN BE A STOCKBROKER. I CAN'T.
BURDEN OF THE FIRST-BORN.
THIS MUST SOUND RIDICULOUS TO YOU.
NOT RIDICULOUS.
A LITTLE STIFLING.
I MEAN, IT'S YOUR LIFE, BEN. IT'S NOT YOUR FATHER'S.
IF YOU WANT TO BE A NOVELIST, THEN YOU SHOULD BE A NOVELIST.
THAT'S EASY TO SAY WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO ANSWER TO.
[exhales]
I'M SORRY. I--
NO. NO, YOU ARE RIGHT.
[exhales]
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S DOING ME A FAVOR.
NIGHT, JUST BEN.
GOOD NIGHT, SNOW BRIDE.
[Tchaikovsky's Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy]
HERE YOU GO, MISS.
BUT LISTEN, I-I REALLY THI-- I--
♪ WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪
♪ AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
♪ GOOD TIDINGS WE BRING TO YOU AND YOUR KIN ♪
♪ GOOD TIDINGS FOR CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR ♪
♪ WE ALL KNOW THAT SANTA'S COMING ♪
♪ AND SOON WILL BE HERE
♪ WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪
♪ AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
OH!
- GOD! YOU. - ME.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SAME AS YOU.
WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT?
LIKE I'D TELL YOU.
DID I SEE YOU WITH BEN TANNENHILL?
[scoffs] LIKE I'D TELL YOU.
SO WHAT'S TO STOP ME FROM GOING IN THERE
AND BLOWING WHATEVER SORT OF COVER YOU HAVE GOING?
THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I WOULD RUIN YOUR CHANCES RIGHT BACK.
FINE.
TRUCE.
AM-SCRAY. [grunts]
"HE SPRANG TO HIS SLEIGH,
"TO HIS TEAM GAVE A WHISTLE,
"AND AWAY THEY FLEW LIKE THE DOWN OF A THISTLE.
"BUT I HEARD HIM EXCLAIM, ERE HE DROVE OUT OF SIGHT,
"'HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'"
THE END.
[applause]
OKAY, WHO WANTS TO PLAY SOME FOOTBALL?
- ME! - I DO!
- YEAH? ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
SET...
HIKE!
[Bruce Bergh's Christmas Time of the Year]
♪ SNOWFLAKES FALLING WHITE ON THE GROUND ♪
♪ THE BIG FAT MAN IS COMING TO TOWN ♪
♪ SHOPPERS SCURRY AND ALL AROUND ♪
♪ IT'S THAT CHRISTMAS TIME OF THE YEAR ♪
- GO, TAYLOR, GO, GO, GO! - GO, TAYLOR!
YOU'VE GOT IT! TOUCHDOWN!
[laughs]
WHOO!
GOOD JOB.
REMEMBER, KEEP IT HIGH AND TIGHT, RIGHT?
YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT.
- THANKS, MR. TANNENHILL. - CALL ME BEN.
I'M GONNA COME BY AND CHECK ON YOUR PROGRESS NEXT WEEK, OKAY?
- AWESOME. - COOL.
- YEAH. SEE YA. - SEE YA.
BEN TANNENHILL.
YOU'RE A NICE GUY.
WHAT, DOES THAT SURPRISE YOU?
[laughs]
EVERYTHING SINCE I WENT TUMBLING IN THE SNOW HAS BEEN A SURPRISE.
YEAH, HAVE YOU TALKED TO WHAT'S HIS NAME? AL?
NOPE.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET HOME
AND STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT?
- YUP. [chuckles] - ALL RIGHT.
LOOK OKAY IN THAT. HEY.
- OH, HEY. - SO HOW DID WE DO?
BRILLIANT. WE MADE OVER $2,000.
WOW.
JARED MAY HAVE OVERBID ON MY GINGERBREAD HOUSE.
NO KIDDING.
- SO HOW WAS STORY TIME? - BEN WAS AMAZING.
BEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN A NATURAL STORYTELLER.
I REMEMBER.
ARE YOU STILL WRITING THOSE LITTLE NOVELLAS?
WRITING?
WELL, WHEN BEN AND I WERE DATING,
HE USED TO WRITE THESE LITTLE STORIES
ALL THE TIME, AND HE USED TO TALK ABOUT THAT SOMEDAY
- HE WOULD BE A NOVELIST. - REALLY?
CLAIRE. [cell phone rings]
I'M SORRY. I GOTTA TAKE THIS.
[chuckles]
HEY.
DID THEY GET THE SMUDGE OUT?
THEY DID. UH--
THANK YOU. GREAT. ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT.
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE DAY I AM HAVING.
THE CATERER'S TRYING TO GET AWAY
WITH USING LARGE SHRIMP INSTEAD OF JUMBO SHRIMP,
AS IF A DETAIL LIKE THAT WOULD ESCAPE ME.
I'M SORRY, I HAVE TO--
CRAZY UNCLE PADEN'S ABOUT TO TALK TO KEVIN'S MOTHER.
OKAY. NO, I-I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
[exhales]
[phone beeps] I AM SO DEAD.
- ANYWAY, THESE-- - I'M SORRY.
CAN I STEAL YOU FOR A SECOND? SORRY.
YEAH.
SO THE DRESS IS STILL IN THE CABIN AIRING OUT.
- PETERS-- - CANNOT SEE THAT.
BINGO. SO LET'S GO.
I CAN'T GO. THERE'S A RAFFLE WITH THE KIDS.
OKAY, WELL, THEN I'LL GO. SO KEYS.
OKAY, THE SNOW'S MELTING. I'M NOT GONNA WRECK YOUR CAR.
SERIOUSLY?
ALL RIGHT.
"R" MEANS REVERSE, RIGHT? [giggles]
- MAN. - I'LL BE BACK, GUYS, I'M SORRY.
[engine turns off]
[Carol of the Bells]
♪
[gasps]
NO.
♪
[gasps]
OH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M SORRY.
- I'LL TAKE THESE. - I AM-- I AM REALLY SORRY.
I MEANT NO DISRESPECT, I WAS JUST--
I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,
AND I LEFT IT HERE, AND I'M SORRY.
A WEDDING DRESS, PERHAPS?
OH. YOU FOUND THAT, DID YOU?
DON'T SUPPOSE YOU KNOW A GOOD DRY CLEANER.
[chuckles]
WHAT, DID YOU AND BENJAMIN ELOPE?
NO. [chuckles] NO, NO, NO.
IT'S NOT EVEN-- IT'S-- I MEAN, WE JUST MET. [chuckles]
FAKE DATING.
IT WAS IMPULSIVE.
HE'S NOT NORMALLY IMPULSIVE, BUT THEN JARED AND CLAIRE.
YOU HAVE TO END THIS CHARADE.
OH, NO. [chuckles] NO, NO, NO.
IT'S NOT FAIR TO MAGGIE. SHE'S GROWING VERY FOND OF YOU.
IS SHE?
YEAH. I LIKE HER TOO.
YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY'S MUCH NICER THAN I IMAGINED.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE FAMILY,
THAT YOU JUST STUMBLED UPON US.
I DID. YES. THAT IS RIGHT.
IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME?
I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION.
HOW'S THAT?
THE LETTERS.
[sighs]
MAGGIE AND I KNEW EACH OTHER WHEN WE WERE YOUNG.
AND THEN WE LOST TRACK DURING COLLEGE.
I WAS WORKING ON EVAN'S FIRST CAMPAIGN
WHEN HIS WIFE WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR.
IT WAS MAGGIE.
AND YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER.
NO.
AFTER EVAN DIED, MAGGIE AND I BECAME VERY CLOSE.
BUT THIS IS AS FAR AS I EVER ALLOWED IT TO GO.
EVAN WAS LIKE A BROTHER.
YOU WON'T SAY ANYTHING.
NEVER.
ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU ALLOW ME AND BEN
TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS ON OUR OWN.
AND WE WILL.
SOON.
ALL RIGHT.
AND ALL I ASK IS-- KANENABLESTEINSKI--
IS THAT YOU CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES,
SO NOBODY GETS HURT.
DEAL.
- HEY. - HI.
UM, I'M SORRY ABOUT EARLIER.
I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I DIDN'T MEAN
TO CAUSE ANY PROBLEMS WITH YOUR MOM ABOUT YOUR WRITING.
YOU DIDN'T.
GOOD.
BECAUSE THAT'S-- THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO.
BEN, UH, DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?
YEAH.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED.
HE IS LIKE CARSON THE BUTLER MEETS OLD SCHOOL BEN KENOBI.
WHEN HE ASKED ME WHAT WAS GOING ON,
I FOUND MYSELF CONFESSING LIKE I WAS IN THE LAST MINUTES
OF A LAW & ORDER EPISODE.
SO YOU TOLD HIM EVERYTHING?
EH, YEAH.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TALK TO MY MOM.
OH, NO. YOU DON'T.
PETERS PROMISED THAT HE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO HER.
HOW DID YOU PULL THAT OFF?
I GOT MY WAYS.
BUT EVERYTHING IS COOL,
AND I'M SORRY I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE FAKE DATING.
IT'S OKAY.
WHENEVER MY MOM WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON
WITH JARED AND ME, SHE'D DEPLOY PETERS TO FIND OUT.
NOT YOUR DAD?
NO. HE WAS ALWAYS AWAY FOR WORK.
DID HE EVER READ ANY OF YOUR WRITING?
NO.
I, UH...
I NEVER SHOWED IT TO HIM.
- ARE YOU SURE? - NOT AT ALL.
SO DON'T HOLD BACK.
[sighs]
[cell phone vibrates]
HEY.
HOW GOES YOUR UNDERCOVER LIFE AMONG THE HOITY AND TOITY?
NOT AT ALL WHAT I EXPECTED.
I MEAN, YEAH, THEY'RE RICH, BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY NICE.
I'M SORRY?
OH, HOLD ON.
OKAY, GO.
DID I JUST HEAR YOU USE THE WORD "NICE"
ABOUT THE CELEBRITY SUBJECT OF YOUR STORY?
YOU DID.
AND I'M ACTUALLY STARTING TO FEEL REALLY GUILTY AND GROSS.
DO I NEED TO SEND IN THE SWAT TEAM FOR IMMEDIATE EXTRACTION?
I AM SERIOUS. IT'S BEEN KIND OF JUST ALL-AMERICAN AWESOME.
SO NO BACCHANALIA?
NOPE. BAKE SALES AND FOOTBALL.
AND NOT FOR PR, FOR ACTUAL CHARITY.
THAT'S THE MOST BORING GOSSIP EVER.
I KNOW. IT'S LOVELY.
[giggles]
THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE.
[sighs] THERE USUALLY IS.
I GOTTA GO.
- HEY. - HEY.
WELL, YOUR CAR IS NOW FULLY OPERATIONAL.
OH, YOU'RE AMAZING. THANK YOU.
OR MAYBE I SHOULDN'T GIVE YOU
A MEANS OF ESCAPE UNTIL YOU'RE DONE.
WHAT? OH. NO WAY.
I NEED TO FIND OUT IF THEY END UP TOGETHER
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
IS IT, UM...
IS IT CHEESY?
BEN, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
I WOULDN'T HAVE PICTURED YOU
AS A BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY KIND OF GUY, BUT-- [laughs]
♪ HOLY NIGHT
♪ ALL IS CALM
♪ ALL IS BRIGHT
BEN, YOU ARE VERY TALENTED,
AND IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO SEE YOU WASTE IT
BECAUSE YOU DON'T THINK SOMEONE'S GOING TO APPROVE.
♪ YON VIRGIN
♪ MOTHER AND CHILD
♪ HOLY INFANT
♪ SO TENDER AND MILD
[chuckles]
♪ SLEEP
♪ IN HEAVENLY PEACE
OH, UM...
DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS BALL?
CHRISTMAS B--
NO, YOU DID NOT.
- THERE'S A CHRISTMAS BALL. - WHEN?
- TONIGHT. - WHAT?
IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, IT'S JUST, UM...
IT'S ONE OF MY MOM'S CHARITIES.
THAT'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL.
YEAH, IT KINDA IS.
[laughs]
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR.
I KNOW.
SO I MAY HAVE BEEN A BIT PRESUMPTUOUS, BUT...
I DID A LITTLE SHOPPING FOR YOU WHEN I WAS IN TOWN JUST NOW.
NOTHING MAJOR, JUST A BUNCH OF DRESSES.
IN A VARIETY OF SIZES.
AND SHOES.
ALSO IN A VARIETY OF SIZES.
BEN...
YOU CAN RETURN WHATEVER YOU DON'T USE.
IT'S OKAY. THE STORES UNDERSTAND.
BUT IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO
GIVEN EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING FOR ME.
♪ THE SAVIOR IS BORN
YOU'RE THE AMAZING ONE, GRETA.
♪
♪ SILENT NIGHT
[sighs]
♪
♪ HOLY
♪
♪ NIGHT
♪
YOU LOOK GOOD.
- [whispers indistinctly] - THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
BEN, LET'S GO!
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. I'M COMING, I'M COMING.
WOW.
YOU LOOK AMAZING.
SO DO YOU.
LET ME JUST FIX THIS.
THANK YOU.
♪ I DON'T WANT NOTHIN' MELANCHOLY ♪
♪ JUST A LITTLE EGG NOG AND HOLLY ♪
♪ ON THIS HOLIDAY WITH YOU ♪
♪
♪ SO HURRY UP, DON'T KEEP ME WAITIN' ♪
♪ I'M IN THE MOOD FOR CELEBRATIN' ♪
♪ JUST WANT A HOLIDAY FOR TWO ♪
♪
[applause]
♪
- WHY DON'T WE GO HAVE A SEAT? - ♪ BABY GIRL
♪
♪ WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME
JUST A MINUTE. I'LL BE BACK.
♪
♪ THERE'S JUST TWO WORDS
♪
♪ OOH-WEE
♪
YOU LOOK SPECTACULAR.
YOU CLEAN UP QUITE NICELY YOURSELF.
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOOKS SPECTACULAR?
HMM?
I THINK YOU SHOULD ASK HER TO DANCE.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK SHE WANTS TO DANCE?
I DON'T--
WITH HER LIFELONG FRIEND?
I SUPPOSE, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY,
IT...DOESN'T SEEM QUITE SO SCARY.
[laughs]
HOW'S MY TIE?
YOU LOOK DASHING.
♪ IF YOU HEAR ME SAY
♪ OOH-WEE
♪ OH, GIRL
♪
♪ WHEN YOU SMILE AT ME
SO YOU OWN A CHRISTMAS TREE FARM?
OH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
[gasps]
- WOODEN ELMS. - THAT'S RIGHT.
- FASCINATING. - ABSOLUTELY.
- I'VE GOT TO TAKE OFF. - OKAY. SEE YA.
YOU!
[exhales] YES, ME.
ARE YOU STALKING ME?
I'M STALKING MY STORY.
WHAT STORY? NO ONE'S ENGAGED.
JARED TANNENHILL BRINGS HOME
HIS BROTHER'S EX-GIRLFRIEND AS HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND?
- COME ON, THAT IS A STORY. - YEAH, AN OLD ONE.
CATCH UP, WES.
THAT'S NOT YOUR COLOR.
ARE YOU-- ARE YOU OKAY?
[sighs] YOU KNOW, I THINK I, UM, I DROPPED SOMETHING.
- OH. - UH, BUT, UM, HOW ARE YOU?
- VERY WELL, THANK YOU. - GREAT.
WHO IS THAT MAN THAT, UM, SHE WAS JUST TALKING TO?
THE LITTLE-- THE MOUST--
- YEAH. - A REPORTER.
I THINK IT'S A REPORTER FROM PULSE! GOSSIP.
- AH. - BEEN AROUND, ASKING QUESTIONS.
OH.
THANK YOU. [laughs]
[jazz music]
♪
HEY, GRETA, WHO WAS THAT MAN YOU WERE TALKING TO EARLIER?
YOU SEEMED TO KNOW HIM.
JUST SOME GUY LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM.
[laughs]
YOU MAY THINK, BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEN,
NOW YOU'RE IN THE CATBIRD'S SEAT,
BUT THAT'S JUST A TEMPORARY POSITION.
WELL, YOU WOULD KNOW.
EXCUSE ME.
[indistinct chatter]
COME ON. DANCE WITH ME.
♪
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU NEED TO LOOSEN UP.
- YEAH. - RELAX, I'M NOT GONNA BITE.
WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO ASK ME?
WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU KNOW ABOUT, UM,
GRETA KANE-WHATEVER?
WHAT PROMPTED THAT?
CURIOSITY.
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, CLAIRE.
WELL, OF COURSE IT'S MY BUSINESS.
I CARE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, BEN.
I'VE MISSED YOU.
I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH UNTIL I ACTUALLY SAW YOU AGAIN.
EXCUSE ME.
MIND IF I BORROW MY GIRLFRIEND?
YEAH.
♪
[laughs]
WHOO!
♪
MAESTRO.
[music stops]
CLAIRE...
YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING WOMAN THAT I HAVE EVER MET.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE SMART.
YOU'RE THE KIND OF SPECIAL PERSON THAT STAYS UP ALL NIGHT,
BAKING GINGERBREAD HOUSES FOR CHARITY.
[both laugh]
AND I KNOW THAT THIS MAY SEEM SUDDEN
TO, UH, A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT NOT TO ME.
CLAIRE PALMER SINCLAIRE,
WILL YOU DO ME THE HONOR OF BEING MY WIFE?
[camera shutter clicking]
YES.
[glass clinking]
[applause]
[upbeat music]
♪
[camera shutter clicking]
ARE YOU OKAY?
DANCE WITH ME.
STILL STINGS, HUH?
NOT LATELY.
WHY DID YOU BREAK UP?
AFTER WE STARTED DATING,
MY NAME STARTED APPEARING IN THE GOSSIP PAGES
LIKE IT NEVER HAD BEEN BEFORE AND...
HASN'T SINCE WE BROKE UP.
AND THEN MY DAD DIED,
AND THE TABLOIDS MOVED IN LIKE VULTURES,
REPORTING EVERY PRIVATE DETAIL,
AND I KNEW.
SHE WAS USING ME,
USING THE FAMILY TO CREATE HER OWN CELEBRITY.
IT HAS TO BE HARD, NOT KNOWING WHO YOU CAN TRUST.
CRAZY ENOUGH,
I TRUST YOU.
- BEN. - I KNOW.
I BARELY KNOW YOU, BUT...
[chuckles]
HOW CAN YOU NOT TRUST SOMEONE
WILLING TO DO SOMETHING THIS NUTS
TO HELP ANOTHER PERSON?
UH-OH.
WHAT?
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.
WE WERE BOUND TO GET CAUGHT UNDER THE MISTLETOE
AT SOME POINT.
[laughs]
BEN.
I'M SORRY.
GRETA.
[pounds pillow]
[sighs]
[groans]
[sighs]
[groans]
[sighs]
HI.
- HELLO. - DO YOU MIND?
NO, SIT DOWN.
ARE YOU WARM ENOUGH?
[laughs] I THINK SO.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT?
I DID. YOU?
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I DID.
IT WAS NICE TO DANCE AND LAUGH AGAIN.
WELL, I KNOW IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO BEN
THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS.
YOU CARE ABOUT HIM, DON'T YOU?
[laughs]
HE'S SUCH A GOOD PERSON.
I MEAN, HE'S NOT AT ALL WHAT I EXPECTED.
EXPECTED?
WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN I MET HIM.
I MEAN, NOW I EXPECT THE AWESOME, SO...
[both laugh]
HOW ARE YOU WITH, UH, CLAIRE BEING HERE?
FINE.
UH, IT-- IT'S A LITTLE UNUSUAL.
- TO SAY THE LEAST. - MM-HMM.
[sighs]
BOTH OF MY SONS HAVING DATED THE SAME WOMAN,
AND NOW ONE OF THEM'S ENGAGED TO HER.
WHO KNOWS WHAT THE TABLOIDS WILL SAY.
HMM.
I'M SURE IT WOULDN'T BE TOO BAD.
NOT IN TODAY'S DAY, WITH THE KARDASHIANS AND CELEBUTANTES.
YES, BUT UNLIKE THEM, WE DON'T WANT PUBLICITY.
OF COURSE, THAT MAKES US MORE OF A TARGET.
TRUE.
BUT I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
I SUPPOSE IT WOULD TAKE SOMETHING MORE SALACIOUS
TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION,
LIKE CLAIRE ALSO HAVING PROPOSITIONED MY HUSBAND.
- WHOA, THAT HAPPENED? - IT DID.
IT WAS YEARS BEFORE SHE AND BEN STARTED DATING.
- HOW'D YOU FIND OUT? - I SAW HER.
AND I SAW HER REJECTED,
AND I SAW EVAN ESCORT HER TO THE DOOR,
NEVER TO RETURN, OR SO I ASSUMED.
WELL, THAT'S, UH--
- SALACIOUS? - [laughs] YEAH.
[both laugh]
GOD, HOW CAN YOU EVEN STAND
TO HAVE HER UNDER THE SAME ROOF WITH YOU?
OH, GOD, ESPECIALLY AFTER--
WELL, I AM A FIRM BELIEVER
IN THINGS WORKING OUT AS THEY SHOULD.
[Good King Wenceslas]
♪
[sighs]
MM-HMM.
[sighs]
WAIT.
- OKAY, GO. - YOU DID WHAT?
I SENT IT OVER TO CHARLIE, MY FRIEND OVER AT WARNER BOOKS.
- WITHOUT TELLING BEN? - I USED A PSEUDONYM.
AND IT'S JUST FOR PROFESSIONAL FEEDBACK. THAT'S IT.
YOU KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE
IF CHARLIE TOLD BEN THAT IT WAS GOOD,
IT MIGHT CONVINCE HIM TO PURSUE HIS WRITING OPENLY.
I HOPE YOU'RE KEEPING TRACK OF YOUR ONGOING DECEPTIONS.
MAYBE A FLOW CHART.
IT'S BAD, ISN'T IT?
NOT IN OUR BIZ.
WELL, SOMEHOW THAT SEEMS TO MAKE IT WORSE.
[phone beeping]
OH, HOLD ON.
OH.
IT'S DORIA.
I SHOULD PROBABLY CLEAR UP AT LEAST ONE LIE OF OMISSION.
GOOD LUCK, BOSS. CALL IF YOU NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION.
[beep]
[phone beeps]
DORIA!
[dramatic music]
♪
[TV playing football game]
40-YARD LINE.
HI.
BEHIND THE CENTER.
LOOKING TO TAKE OKLAHOMA TO 80 YARDS.
HEY.
LOOKING TO SEAL THE DEAL AND PUT THIS GAME OUT OF REACH.
FIRST TIME THIS SEASON, HAD THE BALL SINCE...
IT'S THE BOWL GAME.
MINNESOTA VERSUS OKLAHOMA.
WE CAN CHANGE IT, IF YOU WANT.
OH, NO, NO, NO. I LOVE FOOTBALL.
[laughs]
PRO-BACON AND LOVES FOOTBALL.
WHO ARE YOU?
[laughs]
11 YARDS AND THE SOONERS' FIRST DOWN.
THAT WAS EFFICIENT, YEAH.
UM...
HOW'D YOU SLEEP?
OKAY.
YOU?
OKAY.
MISSED YOUR SNORING.
HE GOT TO 35, TO 40...
MISSED YOURS TOO.
- I DO NOT SNORE! - YES, YOU DO.
NO, I DON'T! YOU SNORE!
- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA-- - LIKE A TRUCK DRIVER!
- [laughs] - YOU PUT ME TO SHAME!
- NO! [laughs] - YOUR SNORING IS...
UNBELIEVABLE.
HI.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
OH.
I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
OH, BREAK IT UP, YOU TWO.
- YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH. - [laughs]
SO I KNOW THIS ISN'T TRADITIONAL, UH, GAME FOOD,
BUT I SPENT A LOT OF MONEY ON IT.
YES, YOU DID.
AND, UH, IT'S FOOD, RIGHT?
IT'S NOT ART, SO...
ALL RIGHT. THERE WE GO.
[all gagging]
- OW. - MAYBE IT IS ART.
I THINK I CHIPPED A VENEER.
I THINK THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE DISPLAY.
OH, ARE WE EATING THIS NOW?
both: NO!
- IS MY VENEER OKAY? - [laughs] I DON'T KNOW.
- WELL, LOOK AT IT. - LET ME SEE.
I MEAN, I THINK SO.
- [clicks TV off] - WHOA, THE GAME.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY?
I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU PUT IN THIS GINGERBREAD HOUSE,
BUT IT TASTES LIKE CONCRETE.
I NEED YOUR ATTENTION.
I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT THAT I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU.
NOW, IT GIVES ME NO PLEASURE TO BE THE BEARER OF THIS NEWS,
BUT YOU'VE ALL BEEN LIED TO.
THIS WOMAN IS A SPY!
LIKE, SHE WORKS FOR THE CIA?
NO, NO, NOT LIKE AN ACTUAL SPY SPY.
SHE IS A REPORTER FOR PULSE! GOSSIP.
SHE HAS BEEN HERE TO SPY ON US
TO DO A STORY ABOUT THE TANNENHILLS.
THAT'S QUITE AN ACCUSATION.
I SAW HER SPEAKING TO THE SAME MAN
AT THE CHRISTMAS CARNIVAL AND AT THE BALL.
WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT THIS MAN WAS A REPORTER,
I DID SOME SEARCHING OF MY OWN
AND FOUND OUT THAT-- GRETA KANE, IS IT?--
IS, IN FACT, A REPORTER.
YEAH, BUT SHE'S-- SHE'S DATING BEN.
- BEN, PLEASE, I-- - NO, JARED, WE'RE NOT DATING.
- PLEASE, I WAS TRYING-- - ALL THIS WAS A LIE.
HOW WE MET, HER BEING HERE,
ALL OF IT MADE UP, ALL BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT
MY EX-GIRLFRIEND HOME WITHOUT WARNING.
I TRIED TO CALL!
THE CAR GETTING STUCK,
THE RUNAWAY SNOW BRIDE STUFF,
THAT WAS PRETEND.
- THE CAR DID GET STUCK. - UH-HUH.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HELPING ME BECAUSE YOU WERE A GOOD PERSON,
BUT YOU WERE JUST GETTING ACCESS.
JUST LIKE...
WHAT CLAIRE SAID IS TRUE.
I AM A REPORTER,
AND I WAS ASSIGNED A STORY
BASED ON A TIP THAT ONE OF THE BROTHERS
HAD BOUGHT AN ENGAGEMENT RING.
YOU'RE DOING A STORY ABOUT ME?
I FEEL SO VIOLATED.
I WAS ASSIGNED TO FIND OUT WHAT I COULD.
AND WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT?
THAT YOU ARE A FAMILY,
A WONDERFUL FAMILY,
AND THAT I HAD MADE ASSUMPTIONS
BASED ON MY OWN PREJUDICES, AND...
I WAS WRONG.
I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY.
BUT I SWEAR, I WILL MAKE SURE
THAT NO STORY IS PRINTED ABOUT YOU.
NOT BY ME.
YOU HAVE THE KEYS TO YOUR CAR.
YOU CAN LEAVE NOW.
EXCUSE ME.
I'M SORRY.
GRETA. JUST ONE SECOND.
DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FORGET THIS.
THANK YOU.
DRIVE CAREFULLY, OKAY?
I DON'T THINK KEVIN'S FAMILY WILL NOTICE.
THERE ARE NO SLEEVES!
BUT THE SMUDGE IS OUT.
[sighs]
I LOVE YOU?
HONESTLY, I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT,
SLEEVES OR NO POOFY SLEEVES.
GOOD!
BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY,
THIS DRESS, THIS LOVE TRADITION,
HAS LED YOU TO YOUR PERFECT MAN.
[groans]
WHOM I THEN CRUSHED WITH LIES AND DECEPTION
AND WHO WILL NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.
AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT DRAMATIC ABOUT IT.
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO YOU FEEL?
[groans]
GUILTY, ASHAMED, HEARTBROKEN.
[sighs]
WELL, MAYBE THEN THIS--
DEPRESSED, AWFUL, ANGRY.
I TOTALLY GET IT.
LONELY, SAD, FRUSTRATED.
I--
WISTFUL, ANXIOUS,
SCUMMY.
NOW YOU'RE REPEATING YOURSELF.
[munching food]
HAVE YOU TRIED CALLING HIM?
NO.
TRIED CONTACTING HIM IN ANY WAY?
WHAT'S THE POINT? FURTHER HUMILIATION?
MAYBE HE MISSES YOU JUST AS MUCH AS YOU MISS HIM.
HIS PHONE STILL WORKS, AND HE HASN'T CALLED ME.
THAT DOES NOT SPEAK TO MISSING SOMEONE.
[sighs]
[exhales]
♪ I COULD BUILD A WALL INSIDE ♪
♪ TO KEEP YOU FROM LEAVIN' ♪
♪ BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE LEAVIN' ♪
[sighs]
DON'T BE MAD AT ME, BEN.
♪ WHAT A PAIR OF FOOLS WE MADE ♪
♪ LOOKS ARE DECEIVING
I HAD TO FIND THE TRUTH ABOUT GRETA...
♪ LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE LEAVING ♪
BECAUSE I ST-- I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU.
I DID WHAT I DID OUT OF LOVE.
♪ WHEN YOU GONNA SEE IT PERFECTLY? ♪
I LOVE YOU, BEN.
♪ YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND ANOTHER ONE LIKE ME ♪
♪ SITTING ALL ALONE
LOVE?
♪ GOT A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK ♪
YES, LOVE.
♪ I'M THE ONE TO SATISFY YOUR NEED ♪
ARE WE THAT INTERCHANGEABLE TO YOU?
YOU'RE ENGAGED TO MY BROTHER.
YEAH, THAT-- THAT WAS-- THAT WAS A MISTAKE.
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SAID YES.
I-I PANICKED.
IT'S BEEN YOU. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU.
THAT'S BECAUSE MY FATHER WOULDN'T PLAY.
LET'S BE CLEAR, CLAIRE.
I'M NOT PLAYING EITHER.
♪ YOU NEVER MEAN A WORD YOU SAY ♪
YOU NEED TO LEAVE. NOW.
BECAUSE I'M GONNA TELL JARED THE TRUTH,
THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND WHEN I DO,
YOUR LAST CHANCE AT BEING A TANNENHILL
WILL BE GONE FOREVER.
♪ OH, WHOA
[grunts]
♪ I CAN SEE YOUR EYES LIKE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ♪
♪ I KNOW WHERE TO FLY
REALLY?
YOU DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME LIKE THIS.
AFTER EVERYTHING THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH?
AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU?
THAT'S KIND OF THE PROBLEM.
[grunts]
I HATE YOU!
BUT YOU JUST TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME.
AND YOU'RE ENGAGED TO MY BROTHER.
I'M SORRY, WHICH IS IT?
THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
OH, SHUT UP!
YOU WERE JUST DATING ME TO GET BACK AT HIM!
LIKE I'D MARRY A STOCKBROKER!
YEAH, I'LL CALL YOU A CAB.
YEAH.
I SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING EARLIER.
I MEAN, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW
THAT I WAS GONNA FALL FOR YOUR EX
AND THEN SPRING IT ON YOU LIKE AN IDIOT?
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
WE'RE-- WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND THIS THING.
KEEP LOOKING.
YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE KIDS,
WE, UH, USED TO LOOK FOR REINDEER TRACKS?
[laughs] YEAH.
AND THE YEAR WE FOUND SOME.
A LITTLE CHRISTMAS MAGIC.
WE COULD USE SOME OF THAT NOW.
NO KIDDING.
[exhales]
THERE YOU GO.
WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?
FINDING DIAMONDS IN THE SNOW.
HOW DELIGHTFUL.
THIS JUST CAME FOR YOU. IT'S FROM A "DORIA'S DRESS."
SAY THAT AGAIN.
I AM NOT GIVING UP ANY INFORMATION ON THE TANNENHILLS.
THAT'S WHY YOU WENT UP THERE.
I KNOW.
SO YOU'RE GONNA FORFEIT THE PROMOTION
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP DIRT
ON A BUNCH OF SPOILED, RICH, CELEBRITY POLITICOS?
THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT, LOU. THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY NICE.
I DON'T CARE.
AND YOU USED TO NOT CARE, EITHER.
I DO NOW.
LOOK, I'VE KNOWN MAGGIE TANNENHILL
SINCE WAY BACK IN THE DAY.
IF I SAY THE FAMILY IS FAIR GAME,
THEY'RE FAIR GAME.
COME ON, LOU. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, REALLY?
I MEAN, JARED TANNENHILL GOT ENGAGED?
SO WHAT? IT'S NOT EVEN THAT GOOD OF A STORY.
IT IS, IF THE SAME WOMAN
DATED THE OLDER BROTHER AND THE FATHER.
SHE DIDN'T DATE THE FATHER.
- DETAILS. - A BIG ONE.
HE CAN'T CONTEST IT NOW, CAN HE?
AND THAT STORY WOULD BE ENOUGH TO LAUNCH US ONLINE.
IT'S A LIE, AND IT HURTS PEOPLE,
AND IF YOU GO WITH THIS, I'LL QUIT.
AND IF YOU DON'T GO WITH IT, I'LL FIRE YOU.
YOUR CHOICE, KIDDO.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NEXT?
DON'T KNOW, BUT CELEBRITY GOSSIP IS NOT IT.
WHEREVER YOU LAND, YOU HAVE TO STEAL ME AWAY.
AT TWICE THE SALARY.
[both laugh]
IF YOU HAD TO FALL FOR A SUBJECT,
YOU PICKED A GOOD ONE.
YEAH. NOW THEY'RE GONNA ASSUME
THAT I'M THE SOURCE AND HATE ME EVEN MORE.
BUT WHO IS THE SOURCE?
OH.
AND THIS IS THE MAN TO TALK TO.
TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
[laughs]
OF COURSE.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
THE ONLY THING I CAN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
BEN, JUST GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES.
LOOK, I'VE GIVEN YOU ENOUGH.
IT'S ABOUT CLAIRE.
[sighs]
I DON'T KNOW THE SPECIFICS OF WHAT THEY'LL WRITE,
BUT I KNOW THEY WILL PAINT SENATOR TANNENHILL
IN THE WORST WAY.
WELL, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF.
THEY DON'T NEED ANY.
WELL, THEN WE SHOULD THREATEN LEGAL ACTION.
THE DAMAGE WILL BE DONE.
[phone beeps]
[speed-dialing number]
LOU BLANKO? PLEASE HOLD FOR MAGGIE TANNENHILL.
HELLO, LOU.
YES, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE.
WELL, OF COURSE I REMEMBER. I REMEMBER EVERYTHING.
LISTEN, LOU, I'M CALLING TO GIVE YOU A BIT OF A SCOOP.
A FEW DAYS AGO, I INSTRUCTED MY ATTORNEYS
TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF BUYING PULSE! GOSSIP,
AND OUR MUTUAL FRIEND GRETA KANE
SPOKE SO HIGHLY OF YOU AND YOUR TEAM.
SHE WHAT?
NO LONGER WORKS FOR PULSE!?
WELL, WE NEED TO GET HER BACK.
I HAVE SOME IDEAS FOR HOW SHE COULD
FIT INTO THE NEW INCARNATION OF OUR COMPANY.
OH, WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT.
IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU HAVE A STORY
CLAIRE SINCLAIRE CONTRIBUTED TO?
THAT'S NOT REALLY IN OUR BEST INTEREST,
WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?
GOOD.
LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU, LOU.
[phone beeps]
[chuckles]
I HAD PETERS DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON YOU
AFTER YOU ARRIVED.
SO YOU'VE--
KNOWN EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE,
ALMOST FROM THE START.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?
WE WERE CURIOUS ABOUT WHERE THIS WAS GOING,
WEREN'T WE?
VERY CURIOUS.
I DECIDED TO TAKE A PROACTIVE ROLE
IN PREVENTING ANY POSSIBLE STORY FROM BEING RELEASED.
SO YOU'RE REALLY GONNA BUY A GOSSIP RAG?
[laughs] I AM.
THOUGH A CHANGE IN A MORE POSITIVE DIRECTION
MAY BE IN ORDER.
YOU DELIBERATELY TOLD ME WHAT CLAIRE DID.
OF COURSE.
IF YOU MADE A MOVE TO PUBLISH WHAT I TOLD YOU,
THEN I WOULD KNOW YOU COULDN'T BE TRUSTED.
IF YOU DIDN'T, THEN I WOULD KNOW YOU COULD.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE A FIRM BELIEVER
IN THINGS WORKING OUT AS THEY SHOULD.
I AM.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I CAN'T GIVE THEM AN OCCASIONAL PUSH.
GRETA, WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR DINNER?
UM, THANK YOU, BUT, UH, I SHOULD GO.
PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR THIS.
WHAT IS IT?
GRETA SUBMITTED MY NOVEL TO A PUBLISHER,
UNDER A PSEUDONYM.
DID THEY LIKE IT?
- YOU WROTE A NOVEL? - HEY.
THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT A CONTRACT.
CONGRATULATIONS.
SO DOES THIS MEAN THAT YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BE GOING INTO POLITICS NOW?
IT MEANS I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO CONSIDER,
LIKE THE TANNENHILL NAME.
I THINK IT'LL LOOK LOVELY
ON THE TOP OF THE BEST-SELLER LIST.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
THIS IS YOUR DREAM, ISN'T IT?
- TO BE A WRITER? - IT IS.
- THEN FOLLOW IT. - ARE YOU SURE?
I COULDN'T BE MORE SURE OR MORE PROUD.
NOW, MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT GRETA?
OH, MOM, SHE'S A TABLOID REPORTER.
I WAS JUST A STORY.
IF YOU WERE JUST A STORY, SHE WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT.
SHE DIDN'T.
[Wrapped Up in Love]
♪
♪ SANTA, BABY
♪ I DON'T USUALLY ASK FOR MUCH ♪
♪ JUST THIS ONCE
♪ I'VE GOT ONE WISH
♪ JUST TO GET
♪ BENEATH THE MAGIC MISTLETOE
♪ NOSE TO NOSE
♪ FOR JUST ONE KISS
♪
♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪
♪
♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪
♪
♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪
HI.
♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪
HOW'D YOU KNOW I WAS GONNA BE HERE?
THE ODDEST THING.
THIS WAS SENT TO ME A COUPLE DAYS AGO
WITH A NOTE FROM "DORIA'S DRESS."
- SHE DIDN'T. - SHE DID.
[laughs]
I GOT TO ADMIT, IT LOOKS MUCH BETTER
THAN THE LAST TIME I SAW IT.
COVERED IN SNOW?
WHEN YOU MADE UP THAT RIDICULOUS RUNAWAY BRIDE EXCUSE.
- ALMOST BRIDE. - MM.
AND I WAS LOOKING FOR A STORY.
WHICH, MISS KANE,
I DO BELIEVE YOU FOUND.
IT NEEDS AN ENDING.
I GOT AN IDEA.
YOU DO?
I DO.
♪
♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪
♪
♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪
[We Wish You a Merry Christmas]
♪