我叫玛丽·艾莉丝·杨 My name is Mary Alice Young.
如果你看了今天的早报 When you read this morning's paper,
可能会读到一篇报道 you may come across an article
有关我上周异常的一天 about the unusual day I had last week.
通常 我的生活没有任何新闻价值 Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life,
然而 直到上周四 一切都改变了 but that all changed last thursday.
起初每件事情都显得很平常 Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.
我为家人准备早餐 I made breakfast for my family.
做家务 I performed my chores.
完成手工制作 I completed my projects.
取回干洗的衣服 I ran my errands.
事实上 这天太平常不过了 In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day,
平静地打理着家里的一切 quietly polishing the routine of my life
直至完美 until it gleamed with perfection.
这就是为什么 That's why it was so astonishing when
当我走向走廊的壁橱 I decided to go to my hallway closet
拿出从没用过的左轮手枪时 and retrieve a revolver
会如此令人震惊了 that had never been used.
第一个发现我尸体的是 My body was discovered by my neighbor,
我的邻居玛莎·胡博太太 Mrs. Martha Huber,
她被这突如其来的声音吓了一跳 who'd been startled by a strange popping sound.
受好奇心驱使 她想到一个 Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason
不请自来的理由 for dropping in on me unannounced.
片刻犹豫之后 After some initial hesitation,
她决定把半年前 she decided to return the blender she
借去的搅拌机还给我 had borrowed from me six months before.
我的邻居 她被枪击了 It's my neighbor. I think she's been shot.
地上全是血 There's blood everywhere.
是的 快派救护车过来 Yes, you've got to send an ambulance.
赶快 You've got to send one right now.
然后 有那么一会 And, for a moment,
胡博太太静静地站在厨房里 Mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen,
陷入了深深的悲伤 grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.
但 仅数秒而已 But only for a moment.
如果说胡博太太有什么优点 If there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for,
那就是凡事她都往积极的一面去想 it was her ability to look on the bright side.
我的葬礼在星期一 I was laid to rest on a Monday.
葬礼结束后 紫藤郡的邻居们 After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane
都去我家表达他们的哀思 came to pay their respects.
他们按照惯例 And, as people do in these situations,
带来了食物 they brought food.
勒奈特·斯加沃带了炸鸡 Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.
勒奈特家有很棒的炸鸡秘方 Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.
当然 当她还在职场打拼的时候 Of course, she didn't cook much
她很少做饭 while moving up the corporate ladder.
因为没时间 She didn't have the time.
但当被告知怀孕后 But when her doctor announced she was pregnant,
她的老公汤姆有了主意 her husband Tom had an idea.
"你不如辞职吧" "Why not quit your job?"
"全职妈妈有利于孩子的成长" "Kids do better with stay-at-home moms."
"这样压力也会小很多" "It would be so much less stressful."
现实却不尽如人意 But this was not the case.
勒奈特的日子变得更加忙碌 In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic
以至于她不得不去快餐店 she was now forced to get her chicken
点了份外卖炸鸡 from the fast-food restaurant.
如果勒奈特回头想想 Lynette would've appreciated
她会发现一切都背道而驰 the irony if she'd thought about it.
可惜 她根本没时间 But she couldn't. She didn't have the time.
-都给我停下来 -但是 妈妈 - Stop it, stop it, stop it. - But, mom.
别这样 你们今天得乖乖的 No. You are going to behave today.
我不想在整条街的邻居 I am not going to be humiliated
面前丢脸 in front of the entire neighborhood.
你们要知道 我不是说说而已 And, just so you know how seerious I am...
那是什么 What's that?
圣诞老人的手机号码 Santa's cell-phone number.
你怎么得到的 How did you get that?
我朋友的朋友认识一个小精灵 I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf.
如果今天你们谁捣蛋 And if any of you acts up,
相信我 我会打电话给圣诞老人 so help me, I will call Santa
告诉他 圣诞节你们只想要袜子 and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas.
想试试吗 Are you willing to risk that?
好 那就乖乖的吧 Ok. Let's get this over with.
住在街角的加布丽尔·索利斯 Gabrielle Solis who lives down the
带了西班牙辣味炒饭 block brought a spicy paella.
自从在纽约做了模特后 Since her modeling days in New York,
她的品位有了很大的提升 Gabrielle had developed a taste
只吃名贵食物 for rich food...
只约有钱男人 ...and rich men.
卡洛斯 从事兼并与收购业务 Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions,
在第三次约会时向她求婚了 proposed on their third date.
加布丽尔被他的泪水打动了 Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.
但她很快发现 But she soon discovered this happened
卡洛斯每做成一笔大生意时都会这样 every time Carlos closed a big deal.
加布丽尔喜欢热腾腾的炒饭 Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.
然而 她和丈夫的关系 However, her relationship with her
却日益冷淡 husband was considerably cooler.
你跟艾尔·梅森聊天时 If you talk to Al Mason at this thing,
不妨顺便透露下 I want you to casually mention
你项链的价钱 how much I paid for your necklace.
干脆在我胸前贴上标签好了 Why not pin the receipt to my chest?
他故意告诉我 他为他老婆的 He let me know how much he paid
敞篷车花了多少钱 for his wife's convertible.
不经意提到就好 Look, just work it into the conversation.
卡洛斯 我做不到很随意地插话 There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos.
怎么会呢 在唐纳修的宴会上 Why not? At the Donahue party,
每个人都在谈论公共基金 everyone was talking mutual funds.
而你却想方设法告诉大家你跟扬基队 You found a way to mentioned you slept with
一半的外场手上过床 half the Yankee outfield.
我再说一次 当时大家就是谈的这些 I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation.
人们在看我们了 Hey, people are starting to stare.
你能小点声吗 Can you keep your voice down, please?
当然了 我们可不愿意 Absolutely. We wouldn't want
被别人发现我们不愉快 them to think we're not happy.
住在隔壁的布里·范德坎普 Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door,
带了两篮她亲手烤制的松饼 brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.
布里擅长烹饪 Bree was known for her cooking,
自己缝纫做衣 and for making her own clothes,
亲手打理花园 and for doing her own gardening,
甚至自己翻新家具 and for re-upholstering her own furniture.
是的 布里非常能干 Yes, Bree's many talents were known
远近皆知 throughout the neighborhood.
紫藤郡的每个人都觉得 Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of
布里是个完美的妻子 Bree as the perfect wife and mother.
每个人 不包括她的家人 Everyone, that is, except her own family.
保罗 扎克 Paul. Zachary.
你好 范德坎普太太 Hello, Mrs. Van De Kamp.
布里 不必这么麻烦的 Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.
一点都不麻烦 It was no trouble at all.
扎红丝的这篮 Now, the basket with the red ribbon
是为客人们准备的 is filled with desserts for your guests,
蓝丝带的这篮 but the one with the blue ribbon
是特地为你和扎克准备的 is just for you and Zachary.
里面有面包圈 松饼 It's got rolls, muffins,
和一些早餐食物 breakfast type things.
谢谢 Thank you.
我能帮的就这些了 Well, the least I could do is make sure
至少明天早上 you boys had a decent meal
你们还能吃上顿像样的早餐 to look forward to in the morning.
我知道你们悲痛万分 I know you're out of your minds with grief.
是的 Yes, we are.
对了 吃完后请把篮子还给我 Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done.
当然 Of course.
住在对街的苏珊·梅尔 Susan Mayer, who lives across the street,
带了乳酪通心粉 brought macaroni and cheese.
她丈夫卡尔 总是嘲笑她 Her husband, Karl, always teased her about her macaroni,
说她只会做乳酪通心粉 saying it was the only thing she knew how
却还做不好 to cook and she rarely made it well.
在她和卡尔刚搬入新家的那晚 It was too salty the night she
她做的太咸了 and Karl moved into their house.
在她发现卡尔的衣领上有口红印那晚 It was too watery the night she
她做的又太淡了 found lipstick on Karl's shirt.
在卡尔为了他的秘书离开她的那晚 She burned it the night Karl told her
她把通心粉烤糊了 he was leaving her for his secretary.
离婚一年之后 A year had passed since the divorce.
苏珊开始觉得 Susan had started to think how nice it
生命中有个男人还是挺好的 would be to have a man in her life.
就算是个会嘲笑她厨艺的男人 Even one who would make fun of her cooking.
妈妈 为什么人们会自杀 Mom, why would someone kill themselves?
因为有时候人们很不开心 Well, sometimes people are so unhappy,
觉得自杀是解决问题的唯一办法 they think that's the only way to solve their problems.
-杨太太看起来总是很开心啊 -没错 - Mrs. Young always seemed happy. - Yeah.
有时候人们表现出一面 Sometimes people pretend to be one way,
而内心却是截然不同的一面 when they're totally different on the inside.
就像爸爸的女朋友满脸微笑 Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend always smiling and says
讲话动听 但我们都知道她是个贱女人 nice things, but we know she's a bitch.
朱莉 我不喜欢你用那个词 I don't like that word, Julie.
不过 这个例子很棒 But, yeah, that's a great example.
感谢你们的到来 You're welcome.
怎么样了 What's going on?
对不起我来晚了 Sorry I'm late.
-嗨 苏珊 -嗨 - Hi, Susan. - Hey.
当你跟卡尔对质的时候他怎么说 So, what did Karl say when you confronted him?
说得可好了 他说 You'll love this. He said...
"这根本不能说明什么 仅仅是性而已" "It doesn't mean anything. It was just sex."
哦 是啊 花花公子手册第一页 Ah, yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook.
是啊 然后他就一脸无辜地对我说 Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face,
"你知道 苏珊 and he said, "you know, Susan,
大多数男人都生活在平静的绝望之中" most men live lives of quiet desperation."
告诉我你揍他了 Please tell me you punched him.
没有 我说 "真的吗 那么大多数女人 No. I said, "Really? And what do most women
吵吵闹闹的一生又算什么" lead lives of noisy fulfillment?"
说得好 Hmm. Good for you.
我是说 那么多人 I mean, of all people,
你就非要搞上自己的秘书吗 did he have to bang his secretary?
我还给那女人做过早午餐 I had that woman over for brunch.
正如我祖母常说的那样 It's like my grandmother always said --
男人那儿硬的时候没有良知可言 an erect penis doesn't have a conscience.
即使不硬也是没什么良知 Even the limp ones aren't that ethical.
这也是我加入枪支协会的原因之一 This is half the reason I joined the NRA.
当雷克斯开始参加那些医学会议时 Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences,
我希望他明白 I wanted it in the back of his mind that
家里有个很爱他的妻子 he had a loving wife at home
和一把上了膛的沃森左轮手枪 with a loaded Smith & Wesson.
勒奈特 汤姆总是出差 Lynnie, Tom's always away on business.
你不担心他会发生什么事吗 Do you ever worry he might?
拜托 这个男人让我四年里怀了三次孕 Oh, please, the man's gotten me pregnant three times in four years.
我倒希望他去和别人做爱 I wish he was having sex with someone else.
所以 苏珊 他还会再见那个女人吗 So, Susan, is he gonna stop seeing that woman?
我也不知道 I don't know.
抱歉 姐妹们 我只是 I'm sorry, you guys, I just...
我不知道自己要怎么熬过去 I just don't know how I'm gonna survive this.
听我说 Listen to me.
我们都有绝望的时候 We all have moments of desperation.
当我们熬过去的时候 If we can face them head-on, that's when
就会发现自己有多强大 we'd find out how strong we really are.
苏珊 Susan.
我说保罗请我们周五过来 I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on friday.
帮他整理玛丽·艾莉丝的衣橱 He needs us to go to Mary Alice's closet
收拾下她的遗物 and help pack up her things.
他说他不能独自面对 He says he can't face doing it by himself.
-好啊 没问题 -你还好吧 - Sure. That's fine. - Are you ok?
没事 我就是太生气了 Yeah. I'm just so angry.
如果玛丽·艾莉丝当时有问题 If Mary Alice was having problems,
她应该告诉我们 让我们帮她 she should have come to us. She should've let us help her.
她能有什么问题 她很健康 What problems could she have had? She was healthy,
舒适的房子 和睦的家庭 她的人生就是 had a great home, a nice family. Her life was...
我们的翻版 Our life.
不会的 如果当时玛丽·艾莉丝有危机 No. If Mary Alice was having a crisis,
我们会发现的 we'd have known.
她住的那么近 She lives 50 feet away, for god sakes.
加布 那个女人都已经自杀了 Gabby, the woman killed herself.
这事没这么简单 Something must've been going on.
-如果我是你 我绝不吃那东西 -为什么 - I wouldn't eat that if I were you. - Why?
那是我做的 相信我 I made it. Trust me.
等等 你有什么遗愿吗 Hey, hey, do you have a death wish?
没有 我不相信有人连 No, I just refused to believe that anybody
乳酪通心粉都不会做 can screw up macaroni and cheese.
哦 天哪 Oh, my god.
你怎么能 这吃起来就像 How did you...? It tastes like
烤焦了但又没熟 it's burnt and undercooked.
是啊 我经常这样 接着 Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go.
谢谢 我是麦克·德尔非诺 Thanks. I'm Mike Delfino.
我刚租下隔壁赛蒙家的房子 I just started renting the Sims' house next door.
苏珊·梅尔 我住对面 Susan Mayer. I live across the street.
胡博太太跟我说过你 Mrs. Huber told me about you,
说你为儿童书画插画 said you illustrate children's books.
是啊 五岁以下的孩子都知道我 Yeah, I'm very big with the under-five set.
你是做什么的 What do you do?
水管工 所以万一你有东西堵住了 Plumber. So if you ever have a clog...
或是别的什么 ...or something.
现在大家都看到我带来的东西了 Now that everybody's seen that I brought something,
我应该早点把它扔了 I should probably just throw this out.
轻点 小冤家 Ease up, you little vampire.
勒奈特 我到处找你 Lynette, I've been looking all over for you.
知道你的儿子们在干嘛吗 Are you aware of what your sons are doing?
大炮攻击 Cannonball!
停下来 Stop!
你们在干什么 这可是个告别会 What are you doing? We are at a wake.
天啊 你说我们可以游泳的 Oh my god. You said we could go in the pool.
我说的是你们可以在泳池旁边 I said you could go by the pool.
你们穿了泳衣 Do you have your swimsuits on?
穿了 出门前穿的 Yeah, we put 'em on ourselves before we left.
你们三个计划好的是吧 够了 出来 You three planned this? All right. That's it. Get out.
-不要 -不要 - No. - No?
我是你们的妈妈 照我说的做 快点 I am your mother. You have to do what I say. Come on.
我们想游泳 你阻止不了我们 We want to swim and you can't stop us!
劳驾 Here.
-别过来 -快出来 - No! - Get out.
以为我不会下来抓你们吗 出来 Think I won't get in this pool and just grab you? Get out!
过来 Get over here.
好的 胳膊伸过来 All right, give me your arm.
你 You...
这就对了 过来 That's right. Get over here.
快快快 走 Go, go, go, go, go. Move it.
出来 给我出来 Out. Get out.
保罗 我们得走了 Paul, we have to leave now.
你妻子的事我很遗憾 Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.
走 Go.
勒奈特用不着这么关心我丈夫 Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband.
他所担心的是那些不会浮出水面的秘密 He had other things on his mind. Things below the surface.
我葬礼第二天的早上 我的朋友们 The morning after my funeral, my friends
和邻居们就默默地回到了 and neighbors quietly went back
他们忙碌的生活中 to their busy, busy lives.
有的在做饭 While some did their cooking...
有的在打扫 ...And some did their cleaning...
有的在做瑜伽 ...And some did their yoga...
还有的 ...Others...
在做"家庭作业" ...did their "homework".
你好 Hi...
我是朱莉 我把球踢到你家后院了 I'm Julie. I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard.
好的 那我们过去捡 Oh, ok. Well, let's go round and get it.
别出来 Stay
他妻子一年前死了 他本想留在洛杉矶 His wife died a year ago. He wanted to stay in LA,
但是那有太多回忆了 but here were too many memories.
税务原因他现在只能租房 He's renting for tax purposes,
但是他想尽快买一幢 but hopes to buy a place soon.
我不敢相信你竟然去那了 I can't believe you went over there
我看到你们在告别会上调情了 Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake.
你们双方都有好感 You are obviously into each other
既然知道他单身 你就能约他啦 Now you know he's single, you can ask him out.
朱莉 我喜欢德尔菲诺先生 我承认 Julie, I like Mr. Delfino, I do.
我只是不知道自己是否准备好约会了 I just... I don't know if I'm ready to start dating yet.
你需要回到社交圈去 You need to get back out there.
你上次做爱是什么时候 Come on. How long has it been since you've had sex?
你生气了 Are you mad that I asked you that?
不是 我在想答案 No, I'm trying to remember.
我不想再跟你讨论我的情感生活了 I don't want to talk to you about my love life any more.
会刺激到我 It warns me out
我本来不应该说 只是 I wouldn't have said anything.It's just...
什么 What?
我听见爸爸的女朋友问 I heard dad's girlfriend ask if you'd
你离婚之后有没有约过谁 dated anyone since the divorce.
爸爸说他很怀疑 And dad said he doubted it.
然后他们都笑了 And then they both laughed.
嗨 苏珊 Hey, Susan.
嗨 麦克 我带了个搬家礼物给你 Hi, Mike. I brought you a little house-warming gift.
我应该早点送礼物过来的 I should've brought something by earlier, but
-实际上 你是第一个拜访的 -真的吗 - Actually, you're the first to stop by. - Really?
苏珊知道自己很幸运 Susan knew she was lucky.
-一个称心的单身汉搬到了紫藤郡 -欢迎 - An eligible bachelor had moved on to Wisteria Lane - Welcome
而她又是第一个发现的 and she was the first to find out.
但她也知道 好消息 But she also knew that good news...
-你们好啊 -总是不胫而走 - Hello there. - ...Travels quickly.
伊迪·布利特是方圆五个街区内 Edie Britt was the most predatory
最风骚的离异女子 divorce in a five-block radius.
她的俘虏不计其数 Her conquests were numerous.
种类繁多 Varied.
如传奇一般 and legendary.
你好 苏珊 希望没打扰到你们 Hi, Susan. I hope I'm not interrupting.
你一定就是麦克·德尔非诺 You must be Mike Delfino.
你好 我是伊迪·布利特 Hi, I'm Edie... Britt.
我住那 I live over there.
欢迎搬来紫藤郡 Welcome to Wisteria Lane.
苏珊碰到对手了 还是个荡妇 Susan had met the enemy. And she was a slut.
谢谢 这是什么 Thank you. What's this?
茄汁香肠 Sausage puttanesca.
不过是我随便做的 It's just something I threw together.
谢谢 伊迪 Well, thanks, Edie.
真好 我应该请你们进来的 That's... great. I'd invite you both in,
但是我正在忙 but I was sort of in the middle of something.
我赴约就要迟到了 I'm late for an appointment.
我就是过来打个招呼 I just wanted to say hi.
就这样 麦克·德尔非诺之争开始了 And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.
有一瞬间 苏珊想她和伊迪说不定 For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie
可以友好地竞争 would remain friendly.
哦 麦克 我听说你是个水管工 Oh, Mike, I heard you're a plumber.
但是她想起来 在男人的问题上 But she was reminded that when it came to men...
你一会能过来看看我家的管道吗 Do you think you could stop by later and take a look at my pipes?
-女人不会公平竞争 -没问题 - ...Women don't fight fair. - Sure.
谢啦 Thanks.
拜 苏珊 Bye, Susan.
你别想像管小孩那样指挥我 You can't order me around like I am a child.
加布丽尔 Gabrielle.
不 我才不去 No, no. I'm not going.
这是生意 塔纳卡希望每人都携眷出席 It's business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives.
每次我在那男人周围 他都想捏我的屁股 Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grab my ass.
去年我从他那赚了二十万 I made over 200,000 doing business with him last year.
如果他想捏你的屁股 让他捏 If he wants to grab your ass, you let him.
约翰 John.
索利斯先生 你吓到我了 Mr. Solis, you scared me.
那怎么还有杂草 你上周就该除掉的 Why is that bush there? You were supposed to dig it up last week.
-我没时间 -别找借口 - I didn't have time. - I don't want to hear your excuses.
把它处理好 Just take care of it.
我讨厌你跟我说话的语气 I really hate the way you talk to me.
我讨厌花一万五千块买条 And I hate that I spent $15,000 on your diamond necklace
没它你就活不下去的钻石项链 which you couldn't live without.
但是我学着接受了 But I'm learning to deal with it.
我能告诉塔纳卡我们明晚都会去了吗 So can I tell Tanaka we'll be there tomorrow?
约翰 邦迪在厨房的架子上 John, we have bandages top shelf in the kitchen.
谢谢 索利斯夫人 Thanks, Mrs. Solis.
好吧 我去 Fine, I'll go.
但是我会整晚 But I'm keeping my back pressed
都靠墙站着的 against the wall the entire time.
看到了吧 这就是婚姻的真谛 See, now this is what a marriage is all about.
妥协 Compromise.
-你手指没事吧 -没事 一个小口子而已 - Is your finger ok? - Yeah, it's just a small cut.
给我看看 Let me see. Mmm.
索利斯夫人 我喜欢和你亲热 You know, Mrs. Solis, I really like it when we hook up,
但是 我还有活要干 but, um, you know, I got to get my work done and...
我可丢不起这份工作 ...I can't afford to lose this job.
这张桌子可是纯手工雕刻 This table was hand-carved.
卡洛斯从意大利进购的 Carlos had it imported from Italy.
花了他$23000 It cost him $23,000.
你这次想在桌子上做吗 You want to do it on the table this time?
当然了 Absolutely.
我们不能喝普通一点的汤吗 Why can't we ever have normal soup?
丹妮尔 罗勒汤就很普通啊 Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree.
就一次 Just once,
喝一点大家都知道的汤 couldn't we have a soup that people have heard of?
例如法式洋葱汤 或者菜豆汤 Like French onion or navy bean.
首先 你爸爸对洋葱过敏 First of all, your father can't eat onions.
那是致命的 He's deathly allergic. And I won't
再说我也不认为菜豆汤是个好主意 even dignify your navy bean suggestion.
炖小牛胫味道怎么样 So... how's the osso buco?
-还可以 -只是还可以 - It's ok. - It's ok?
安德鲁 我花了三小时做这顿饭 Andrew, I spent three hours cooking this meal.
但别人却随口敷衍一句 How do you think it makes me feel when you
"还可以" 想想我的感受 say "it's okay" in that sullen tone?
没人让你花三小时准备晚饭 Who asked you to spend three hours on dinner?
你说什么 Excuse me?
汤姆·哈伯的妈妈工作回来后 Tim Harper's mom gets home from work,
直接打开一些猪肉和豆子罐头 pops open a can of pork and beans,
然后热热闹闹的吃饭 大家都很开心 and boom, they're eating. Everyone's happy.
你宁愿我做猪肉和豆子吗 You'd rather I serve pork and beans?
我求你赶紧道歉 Apologize now. I am begging.
我的意思是 I'm saying,
有必要总是显摆你的厨艺吗 do you always have to serve cuisine?
难道我们就不能简单地吃顿饭 Can't we ever just have food?
-你嗑药了么 -什么 - Are you doing drugs? - What?
行为异常就是嗑药的表现 Change in behavior is one of the warning signs,
在此之前的 and you have been as fresh as
半年里你都很正常 paint for the last six months.
我想这就是 That certainly would explain
你经常躲在卫生间的原因 why you're always locked in the bathroom.
相信我 他在卫生间可不是干这事 Trust me, that is not what he is doing.
闭嘴 Shut up.
妈妈 有问题的不是我 Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, all right?
你才是那个表现得 You're the one always acting like
像要竞选市长的 she's running for mayor of Stepford.
雷克斯 作为一家之主 Rex... Seeing that you're the head of this household,
你得说些什么吧 I would really appreciate you saying something.
把盐给我 Pass thee salt?
葬礼过去三天后 Three days after my funeral,
勒奈特不再悲伤了 Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.
而是愤怒 Indignation.
汤姆 这是我第五次给你留言了 Tom, this is my fifth message,
可你还不回电话给我 and you still haven't called me back.
好吧 看来你这次出差其乐无穷 Well, you must be having a lot of fun
我只能这样想了 on your business trip. I can only imagine.
我想我和孩子们也要出去玩玩了 Well, guess what -- The kids and I want to have some fun, too,
除非你在中午之前给我回电话 so unless you call me back by noon,
否则我们会坐飞机过来找你 we are getting on a plane and joining you.
妈妈 Mom.
现在不行 我正威胁爸爸呢 Not now. Mommy's threatening daddy.
-妈妈 -不行 - Mom. - No, I...
-哥哥们呢 -面条 我的最爱 - Where are your brothers? - Noodles, my favorite.
-勒奈特·斯加沃 -该死的 - Lyneettee Scavo? - Crap.
娜塔丽·柯莱恩 真不敢相信 Natalie Klein. I don't believe it.
勒奈特 我们多久没见了 Lynette. How long has it been?
有些年头了 过的怎么样 Years. Uh, how are you?
公司还好吗 How's the firm?
很好 大家都很想你 Good. Everyone misses you.
大家都说如果你不走的话 We all say if you hadn't quit,
现在肯定是老板了 you'd be running the place by now.
是啊 Yeah, well.
家庭生活怎么样 So... How's domestic life?
做全职妈妈感觉怎样 Don't you just love being a mom?
麻烦来了 勒奈特最怕别人问这个问题 And there it was. The question that Lynette always dreaded.
说实话 Well, to be honest...
对于这个问题 答案只有一个 For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable,
所以勒奈特和往常一样说了谎 So Lynette responded as she always did. She lied.
这是有史以来最棒的工作 It's the best job I've ever had.
-知道我好奇什么吗 -什么 - You know what I don't get? - What?
你为什么要和索利斯先生结婚 Why you married Mr. Solis.
因为他能给我 Well... He promised to give me
任何我想要的东西 everything I've ever wanted.
-他做到了吗 -是的 - And did he? - Yes.
那你为什么不开心 Then why aren't you happy?
看来我得到的都不是真正想要的 Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.
那你爱他吗 So do you love him?
是的 I do.
那我们为什么还在这偷情 Well, then, why are we here? Why are we doing this?
因为我可不想某天醒来 Because I don't want to wake up one morning
想把自己的脑袋打爆 with a sudden urge to blow my brains out.
-我能抽根吗 -当然不行 - Hey, can I have a drag? - Absolutely not.
对你来说 抽烟还太早 You are much too young to smoke.
如果我用你的抚养费去做整形手术 How would you feel about me using your
你觉得怎样 child-support payments for plastic surgery?
别那么紧张 Stop being so nervous. You're just
你只是约他吃饭 没什么大不了的 asking him to dinner. No big deal.
你说的对 You're right.
那是你的作业吗 So is that your project for school?
五年级的时候 You know, when I was in fifth grade,
我用糖块做出了白宫 I made the White House out of sugar cubes.
别磨蹭了 赶紧去 Stop stalling and go.
在麦克有更好的选择之前 Before Mike figures out he can do better.
我为什么要争夺你的抚养权 Tell me again why I fought for custody of you.
-你想气气爸爸 -说得好 - You were using me to hurt dad. - Oh, that's right.
天哪 Oh, god.
-嗨 -嗨 苏珊 - Hi. - Hey, Susan.
你在忙吗 Are you busy?
不忙 怎么了 No, not at all. What's up?
我只是在想 Well, I... I just, uh, was wondering if...
你是否有时间 ...if there was any chance that you, uh...
我想问你 ...I just wanted to ask if...
-伊迪 -嗨 苏珊 - Edie. - Hey, there, Susan.
-你怎么 -我刚做了些食物 - What are you...? - I was making ambrosia.
不过我一个人吃不了 And I made too much so I thought
所以就拿过来和麦克一起分享 I'd bring some over to Mike.
怎么了 What's going on?
苏珊正打算问我什么 Susan was just going to ask me something.
-我家水管堵住了 -什么 - I have a clog. - Excuse me?
-你是个水管工 不是吗 -是的 - And you're a plumber, right? - Yeah.
-水管里有东西堵住了 -是啊 - The clog's in the pipe. - Yeah,
通常问题都在那 That's usually where they are.
是啊 就是这种情况 Well, I've got one.
好吧 我去拿下工具 Ok. Let me get my tools.
现在就过去修理吗 你这还有伴呢 Now? You want to come over now? You have company.
我不介意 I don't mind.
等我2分钟 马上就过来 Just give me two minutes. I'll be right over.
就这样 That's it.
-赶紧用头发把它塞满 -我塞了 - Just stuff the hair down there. - I stuffed it.
-但还是不能堵住 -好吧 - It's not enough to clog it. - Here. Okay, look.
把花生酱也倒进去 Put in this peanut butter
还有烹饪油 and this cooking oil.
-妈妈 -还有这些橄榄 - Mom - And these olives.
妈妈 我说了 这些都没用 Mom, I'm telling you, it's not working.
我的天哪 他来了 Oh, god. That's him.
我该怎么办 How am I going to stop up the sink?
好了 问题在这里 Well, here's your problem.
看来有人把一堆冰棒棍子 Looks like somebody stuffed
扔了进来 a bunch of popsicle sticks down here.
我告诉朱莉无数次 I've told Julie a million times
不要在厨房打闹 但是小孩都这样 not to play in the kitchen. Kids, you know.
好的 我这就去做准备 All right, I'll go put in your orders,
马上把你们的饮料 And I'll be right back with your drinks
和装沙拉用的盘子拿来 and your plates for the salad bar.
谢谢 Thank you.
安德鲁 丹妮尔 摆好餐巾 Andrew, Danielle, napkins?
这儿有电视游戏 They have video games.
我们能过去玩玩吗 菜上了就回来 Could we go play until our food gets here?
安德鲁 这是家庭聚餐 我想我们 Andrew, this is family time. I think that we should all
去玩吧 Go ahead and play.
也许你认为我不喜欢这种地方 I know that you think I'm angry about coming here,
其实不是 but I'm not.
你和孩子们想换个有趣点的环境 You and the kids wanted a change of pace,
我明白 something fun I get it.
说不定你们明天晚上 Probably we'll want
就想吃些健康点的食物了 something healthier tomorrow night, though.
我打算做些煎鸡肉卷 I'm thinking about chicken Saltimbocca.
我们离婚吧 I want a divorcee.
我实在不能忍受 I just can't live in this...
这种毫无瑕疵的生活 ...this detergent commercial anymore
沙拉台就在那边 请随便享用 The salad bar's right over there. Help yourself.
谢谢 Thank you.
我去帮你拿些沙拉 Um, I think I'll go get your salad for you.
-布里·范德坎普 -你好 胡博太太 - Bree Van De Kamp. - Oh. Hello, Mrs. Huber.
在玛丽·艾莉丝的追思会上 We didn't get a chance to talk at
我们都没有好好聊过 最近怎么样 Mary Alice's wake. How are you doing?
布里很想和她分享 Bree longed to share the truth about
丈夫背叛了自己的事 her husband's painful betrayal,
悲哀的是 but sadly for Bree,
布里绝不会承认自己是失败者 admitting defeat was not an option.
很好 一切都很好 Great. Everything is just great.
我给你的沙拉浇了蜂蜜黄芥末酱 Okay, well, I got you the honey mustard dressing.
看起来很田园 The ranch looked just a little bit suspect.
能继续刚才的谈话吗 Are we going to talk about what I said?
我才不会在这个用"美眉"和"帅哥" If you think I'm going to discuss the dissolution
作为洗手间标示的地方 of my marriage in a place
讨论我们的婚姻问题 where the restrooms are labeled "chicks" and "dudes,"
你疯了吧 you're out of your mind.
这里面有什么 What's in this?
还能是什么 沙拉啊 What do you mean, what's in this? It's salad.
-里面有洋葱 -什么 - With... with onions. - What?
-你在里面放了洋葱 -我没有 - You put onions in my salad. - No, I didn't.
怎么会这样 Oh, wait.
惊醒我儿子的声音 The sound that awakened my son was
在他还很小的时候 something he'd heard only once before.
听到过一次 Many years ago when he was quite young.
但他马上就明白了 But he recognized it instantly.
这声音是我们家的秘密 It was the sound of a family secret.
葬礼过去七天后 Seven days after my funeral, life on Wisteria Lane
紫藤郡人的生活重归正常 finally returned to normal.
对于我的某些朋友来说 生活并不尽如人意 Which, for some of my friends, was unfortunate.
-妈妈 妈妈 -又怎么了 - Mommy, mommy! - Now what?
爸爸回来了 Daddy's home!
过来 家里有人吗 Come on! Hey, is anybody home?
我以为你不打算回来了 I wasn't expecting you for a week.
我今天上午得赶回旧金山 I have to go back to 'Frisco in the morning.
但我收到你的留言了 你听起来你很憔悴 But I got your call. You sounded frazzled.
没错 Yeah.
-我的确有点累 -嗯 桃子味 - It's been a little rough. - Hi. Yeah. Peaches.
你给我们带礼物了吗 Did you buy us any presents?
对了 礼物 等一下 我找找 Oh, god, presents. Wait up. Let me see.
-在这儿 -太棒了 - Ohhh! - Yeah!
但你们得保证 现在就到外面去 But I'm not giving it to you unless
练二十分钟投球 you promise to go outside right now
我才能把球给你们 行吗 and practise throwing for 20 minutes. You promise?
-好耶 好耶 -孩子们 快去吧 - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! - Punks. Get out!
谁来开球 出去 再远点儿 触地得分 Who's open? Go out. Deeper. Deeper. Touchdown!
天哪 Oh, my god.
别这样 Oh, no.
你开玩笑吧 我累瘫了 You got to be kidding. I'm exhausted.
身上一团糟 还都是桃子味 I look terrible. I'm covered in peaches.
抱歉了 宝贝 我控制不了了 I'm sorry, baby. I got to have you.
我能不能就这么躺着 Well, is it ok if I just lie here?
当然可以 Absolutely.
-我爱你 -我更爱你 - I love you. - I love you more.
等等 我有点肿胀的毛病 Wait. I gotta tell you I was having trouble with swelling.
医生不让我吃避孕药了 The doctor took me off the pill.
你得把套子戴上 You just gotta put on a condom.
-戴套子 -没错 - A condom? - Yeah.
没什么大不了的 我们就赌一把吧 What's the big deal? Let's risk it.
-赌一把 -对啊 - Let's risk it? - Yeah.
真没想到你会想要杀了我 I can't believe you tried to kill me.
我很抱歉 Yes, well, I feel badly about that.
我说过了 胡博太太当时走过来 I told you Mrs. Huber came over
我走神了 是我不小心而已 and I got distracted. It was a mistake.
你怎么会有疏忽的时候 Since when do you make mistakes?
这话什么意思 What does that mean?
你永远都让事情保持完美 It means I'm sick of you being
这让我无法忍受 so damn perfect all the time.
我讨厌你的头发总是一丝不苟 I'm sick of the bizarre way your hair doesn't move.
我讨厌早晨我还没去洗手间 I'm sick of you making our bed in the
你就已经把床铺好了 morning before I've used the bathroom.
你简直就是个人造的完美家庭主妇 You're this plastic suburban housewife,
戴着珍珠项链 拿着刮铲 with her pearls and spatula,
嘴里说着 "我们得请亨德森一家吃顿饭" who says things like "we owe the Hendersons a dinner."
我一见倾心的女人去哪儿了 Where's the woman I fell in love with...
那个会把面包烤焦 ...Who used to burn the toast and
喝纸盒牛奶的女人 drink milk out of the carton?
会放声大笑的女人 and laugh.
我想念她了 I need her.
而不是现在这样完美却冷酷的 Not this cold, perfect thing you've become.
这花该换水了 These need water.
布里在洗手间里安静的抽泣了五分钟 Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five minutes,
但她丈夫不知道 but her husband never knew.
因为当她出来的时候 Because when Bree finally emerged...
她又完美如初 ...she was perfect.
我找到耳环了 可以走了 I found my earrings. We can go now.
约翰今天来过吗 Was John here today?
来过啊 Well, yeah.
草坪根本没修剪 我受够了 The lawn hasn't been mowed. I've had it.
得换个专业园丁了 We're getting a real gardener.
-为什么 -你没听见吗 - Why? - Are you deaf?
他根本没完成他的活儿 I just said he's not doing his job.
天太黑了 你看不出来草坪已经剪过了 It's dark. You just can't see the lawn has been mowed.
就是没有 看看这草 It hasn't been. Feel this grass.
我怎么看不到 I'm not feeling the grass.
快走吧 我们要迟到了 Let's just get going. Come on, we're late.
-把车停好 -是 先生 - Take care of it. - Yes, sir.
塔纳卡在那边 轮到我大显身手了 There's Tanaka. Time for me to go and do my dance.
祝你好运 甜心 Good luck, sweetheart.
-等一下 -你好 - Excuse me. - Ma'am.
看到那个刚走开的男人了吗 You see that man just walked away?
你能保证他今晚手里一直都有酒吗 Can you make sure he has a drink in his hand all night long?
好的 女士 Yes, ma'am.
-苏珊 苏珊 -胡博太太 近来可好 - Susan? Susan! - Mrs. Huber, how are you doing?
不算太好 Not too well, I'm afraid.
我想找点治胃病的药 I'm trying to find something to soothe my stomach.
-胃不舒服 -对啊 - It's upset? - Yeah.
我在追思会上吃了超难吃的奶酪通心粉 I had the worst macaroni and cheese at the wake.
然后胃就一直没舒服过 It's been running through me ever since.
我得赶紧好起来 And I need to be at my best.
伊迪·布利特的儿子今晚要来我家过夜 Edie Britt's son is spending the night tonight.
他要在你家过夜 He's spending the night?
伊迪要和一位先生共进晚餐 Apparently Edie is having a gentleman friend over for dinner,
我猜她打算狂欢一整夜 and I think she plans on entertaining into the wee hours,
你明白我的意思吧 if you know what I mean.
这有些抗酸剂 你服过这种药吗 Oh, here's some antacid. Have you ever tried this?
难以置信 怎么可能呢 I can't believe it. This can't be happening.
比起我 麦克不会更喜欢伊迪的 不可能 Mike can't like Edie better than me. He just can't.
你又不知道究竟会发生什么事 You don't know what's going on.
没准儿他们就是吃个饭而已 Maybe they're just having dinner.
你说得没错 他们要上床了 You're right. They're doing it.
伊迪 Edie?
有人在家吗 Hello? Anybody home?
我要借点糖 I need to borrow sugar.
上帝啊 就是这样 给我 Oh, my god! Oh, yes! Give it to me!
就这样 苏珊对麦克·德尔非诺抱有的 And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to,
最后一点幻想 也破灭了 the maybe of Mike Delfino, was gone forever.
尽管她心绪难平 And despite the precariousness of her situation,
苏珊还是坐下来伤了一会儿心 Susan took a moment to mourn her loss.
苏珊马上就发现 It didn't take Susan long to realize,
今天晚上她注定倒霉 this was just not her night.
是谁在楼下 Is somebody out there?
上帝啊 冒烟了 Oh, my god! That's smoke!
天哪 Oh, my god.
她把点燃的蜡烛丢在外间里 She left candles unattended in the den.
医生说她已经很幸运了 Paramedic said she was lucky.
她本来可能会死的 She could've been killed.
她什么都没穿就跑了出来 She ran out with nothing on.
起火的时候她和别人做爱呢 She was having sex with some guy when the fire started.
那人怎么样了 What happened to him?
他吸入了烟雾 送医院了 He got smoke inhalation. He's at the hospital.
苏珊 你没事吧 你脸色不对劲啊 Susan, are you all right? You look awful.
我没事 没事 我只是 为伊迪感到遗憾 I'm fine. I'm fine. I just, uh, feel really bad for Edie.
宝贝儿 不用为她担心 她很坚强的 Oh, honey, don't worry about Edie. She's a strong lady.
没错 她能挺过来的 Absolutely. She'll get through this.
她总有办法渡过难关 She'll find a way to survive.
我们都是如此 We all do.
走吧 Come on.
-天啊 怎么回事 -麦克 - Wow! What happened? - Mike!
突然间 他出现了 And suddenly there he was.
像是浴火重生的凤凰 Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
我以为你在 你去哪儿了 I... I thought you were... Uh... Where were you?
我刚从电影院回来 伊迪家着火了是吗 I just got back from the movies. Edie had a fire, huh?
是啊 不过她现在没事了 Yeah. Yeah, but she's fine now.
一切都没事了 Everything's fine now.
就这样 苏珊很高兴 And just like that, Susan was happy.
她的生活又充满了无限可能 Life was suddenly full of... possibilities.
更别说一些意外的"惊喜"了 Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.
-喂 -是我 - Hello. - It's me.
-有消息了吗 -还没有 - Have anything yet? - No, nothing yet.
不过别着急 我快要得手了 But don't worry. I'm definitely getting closer.
我带了些香槟 I brought some champagne.
我觉得我们应该喝一杯 I thought we should have a toast.
第二天 我的朋友们一起过来 The next day my friends came together
把我的衣服 私人物品 to pack away my clothes,
还有我留下的一切痕迹都清理走 my personal belongings and what was left of my life.
好了 姑娘们 举杯吧 All right, ladies, lift 'em up.
敬玛丽·艾莉丝 好朋友 好邻居 To Mary Alice, a good friend and neighbor.
无论你身在何处 愿你能寻得平静 Wherever you are, we hope you've found peace.
-敬玛丽·艾莉丝 -敬玛丽·艾莉丝 - To Mary Alice. - To Mary Alice.
好好整理一下吧 Let's get this show on the road.
你们快来看看玛丽·艾莉丝的衣服 You guys, check out Mary Alice's clothes.
八号的 她一直说她穿六号 Size eight? Ha! She always told me she was a size six.
她的小秘密曝光了 We found the skeleton in her closet.
这不算秘密 加布丽尔 还有呢 Not quite, Gabrielle, not quite.
-那是什么 -一封给玛丽·艾莉丝的信 - What's that? - A letter addressed to Mary Alice.
真是讽刺 How ironic.
我一直以来要保守的秘密 To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret,
如此轻易地被发现了 treated so casually.
你干什么呢 这是隐私 What are you doing? That's private.
这已经打开了 没关系的 It's open. What's the big deal?
我知道你干的好事 真恶心 我要告诉别人
这是什么意思 What does this mean?
不知道 不过看这邮戳 I don't know. But check out the postmark.
天哪 是她自杀那天收到的 Oh, my god. She got it the day she died.
会不会就是因为这个她 Do you think this is why she...?
对不起 姐妹们 I'm so sorry, girls.
我本不想让你们卷进来 I never wanted you to be burdened with this.
玛丽·艾莉丝 你做了什么 Oh, Mary Alice, what did you do?