(Footstep)
Herbert : No. Not my son!
(Baby cries out)
(Pounds On Door)
Snatcher : Wake his lordship.
Snatcher : The unspeakable has happened
Snatcher : We must speak of it immediately!
Lord Portley-Rind : What is it, Snatcher?
Snatcher : Boxtroll monsters have stolen a child. Lord Portley-Rind :(aghast) No
Snatcher : They're no doubt picking their teeth with his adorable baby bones by now! Lord Portley-Rind : A horrible tragedy. Let’s deal wi
Snatcher : Stop! Oh, oof! That's not the worst of it! Next they'll come after...
Snatcher : Our Cheese! Lord Portley-Rind : (gasp) My Gouda!?
Snatcher : They’ll stop at nothing. Lord Portley-Rind : You’re the town exterminator. I’ll pay whatever it takes.
Snatcher : Oh, I don’t want money. I want one of those.
Lord Portley-Rind : A White Hat? You?! Absurd!
Snatcher : Alright then. But prepare to say bye bye to your Brie. Cheerio to your Cheddar. Goodbye to your...
Lord Portley-Rind : Very well. Every boxtroll gone. With proof! Snatcher : For a white hat? I will destroy every last boxtroll in this town!
(Lightning Crashes)
Snatcher : Hear ye! Hear ye! Good citizens of Cheesebridge, the curfew is in force. Don’t dawdle or the beasts will tear you limb from limb!
They will add your flesh to their rivers of blood and mountains of bones.
Snatcher : Child! Do you want to end up like the Trubshaw Baby? Dragged underground and feasted upon one year ago this very night?!
Lock your windows! Bolt your doors! Hide anything that is not bolted down. Hide your cheese. Hide your tender and delicious babies!
Beware the bloodthirsty monsters! They'll fry your eyes;
gnaw on your knees, gobble your gizzards...
Beware!
(Man Hole Opening)
Fish : Eww.... Blech... Hmm...
(Cocks Ticking)
Shoe : Huh? Gimme that!
Fish : Ohhhh...
Snatcher : Gentlement! Look at all these boxes left lying about. How curious, how peculiar. I do believe... evil is afoot.
I do believe... evil is a foot.
Mr. Gristle : Ha...Ha...Ha... Foot.
Mr. Pickles : Huh... Mr. Trout : Ermmm...
Mr. Pickles : You ever seen someone’s foot be evil, Mr. Trout? Mr. Trout : I believe the boss meant evil is nearby, Mr. Pickles.
Mr. Pickles : My foot had a pretty nasty bunion once. I wouldn’t say the foot itself was evil. Mr. Trout : No.. No.. it’s just a fancy-man
Mr. Pickles : Wrinkly ol’ bunion looked like my grandmum. Had to saw her off... The bunion...not my grandmum.
Mr. Gristle : Ahhh.. Foot! Mr. Trout : There’s one!
Mr. Pickles : Come on, ya squirmy monster. Your days of evil-doin’ are over.
Mr. Gristle : Boom! He.. He..He..
Mr. Trout : You really think these boxtrolls understand the duality of good and evil?
Mr. Pickles : They must, right? Why else would they hide from us. Mr. Gristle : Nice! Nice!
Mr. Pickles : We are the good guys.
Mr. Trout : Yeah... I suppose we are.
Mr. Gristle : Hmm? Yeah...Foot! Snatcher : Mr. Gristle!
Snatcher : Acquire Them! Mr. Gristle : Acquire! Acquire! Ha..Ha..Ha..!
Mr. Gristle : Come back and let me hit you!
Fish : “Eggs?”
“Eggs?”
“You see Egg?”
Fish : “Eggs?”
Sparky and Bucket : “Over there!”
Knickers : Ahhhh!!!!
Fish : “Eggs?”
Oil Can : “He’s up there!”
Fish : “Eggs?”
Eggs : (growls) Fish!
Egg : Ermm... Fish... Fish : Fish fix no problem
Eggs : Do do doo do doo... Fish : Do do doo do doo...
(Alarm Chimes)
Eggs : Wake up!
(Music Box Winding)
(Music Box Playing) (Hammer Pounding)
Egg : Uuuu...
(Record Playing)
(Songs Playing)
Oil Can : Aaaahhhh! Boxtrolls : Aaaaahhhhh!
Eggs : Ha! Missed me!
Fish : Oooo!
Oil Can : uuuhhhh!
Mr. Gristle : Ha! Haaa!
Mr. Pickles : Another villain off the streets! Mr. Gristle : Ha! Haaa!
Eggs : What?! Fish : Hide.
Egg : This way..
Eggs : Shoe! Come on. Shoe : (gurgles angrily)
Winnie : Boxtrolls!
They could come eat my face off at any moment.
I’d better warn father.
(Knocking on Door)
Lord Portley-Rind : Settle down, men, settle down. Important town business to discuss. First on the docket: more complaints of crumbling bridges.
Langsdale : Speaking of crumbling... is that a new blue cheese I see? Broderick : (Sniff..Sniff) Does smell delicious.
Lord Portley-Rind : I suppose we could do with a nibble first.
Broderick : Mmm... Pungent... Langsdale : Complex...
Broderick : I’m tasting notes of..ermmm... plum!
Lord Portley-Rind : All good fun, but we do have this school funding initiative to vote on. Been sitting here for months. All in favor of...
Broderick : Cutting open the Roquefort next?
(All Aye!!)
Lord Portley-Rind : Well, okay, okay. A quick reminder, tomorrow is Trubshaw Baby Remembrance Day.
And we all know what that means...Ha..ha..ha.. a performance by Madame Frou Frou.
Boulanger : A vision!
Broderick : Now there’s a woman... Langsdale : ... With some cheese on her bones! Ha..Ha..Ha..
Lord Portley-Rind : A lady like that is like a fine brie. Raw... Dangerous....
(Sniff) Maybe a little stinky, but one taste and you’ll be begging for.... mmm....
Winnie : Father! Lord Portley-Rind : Winifred!
Boulanger : Is someone there? Lord Portley-Rind : Winifred go on. Off to bed. Off to bed! Come on, come on.
Winnie : But Father! I saw boxtrolls again! Lord Portley-Rind : Shoo. Shoo. Shoo.
Winnie : They’re right outside. They could come rip the flesh off my bones any moment! (Loud Grunts) White Hats : Would be a shame to miss this,
Lord Portley-Rind : Yes, yes one moment! Winifred, proper girls should not be obsessing over grotesque monsters. Winnie : I’m not obsessed!
I just can’t stop imagining them gnawing off my toes and stringing them together as a necklace!
Winnie : Father? Father. Lord Portley-Rind : Mmm hmm. Yes...Yes..
(Winnie Grunting)
Winnie : If they kidnapped me and slurped up my intestines like noodles, would you give up your white hat to save me?
Lord Portley-Rind :Hmm? Um. Yes, Winifred. Winnie :Father!
Lord Portley-Rind : What? Uh... White Hat? Right.What.. Oh, seems to have been smudged by a bit of brie. Be a dear and have the butler give it a w
Winnie : But-­ Lord Portley-Rind : Now gentlemen, I apologize...sorry! Back to important White Hat business... Pass the Camembert!
Winnie : I’ll give your hat a wash allright.
Winnie : Ha!
Winnie : Hah!!!! White Hat : (Laughing)
Winnie : Uh oh.
(Doors Lock Latching)
( Winnie Squeks)
Winnie : Who... who's there?
(Gasps)
Winnie : Huh?? Who are you, boy? Eggs : Boy?
Eggs : Why would she call me that? Boxtroll : (Supprised)
Mr. Pickles : They're right there, Mr. Trout! Mr. Gristle : We’re right behind you. Ha hahaha!
(Winnie Gasps) Snatcher : Hmm. Someone’s out past curfew. Very dangerous.
Winnie : I... I saw a boy.
Snatcher : All I saw was filthy boxtroll monsters.
Snatcher : Miss Portley-Rind. Allow me to escort you home.
Winnie : I can escort myself, thank you.
Snatcher : Errr... Winnie : If you’ll just give me my father’s hat back.
Snatcher : Yes, how did this hat find itself aaaaall the way out here? Winnie : The... wind! Blew it, right out the window. Very windy tonight!
(Snatcher licks finger)
Snatcher : Hmmm. Must’ve died down. Suddenly!
Winnie :There’s no need for you to come in inside. Snatcher : Oh, but as a gentleman, I insist.
(White Hat Lauging) Snatcher : Lord Portley-Rind!
Winnie : Can I have the hat back now? Pleeeeaseee... Lord Portley-Rind : What in Gouda’s name is going on? Archibald Snatcher?
Snatcher : Deepest apologies, your Lordship. But I found something out in the street that belongs to you.
Lord Portley-Rind : Huh!! My White Hat! Winnie : Huh?
Lord Portley-Rind : I’ll take that... Now, now, Snatcher
one doesn’t acquire a white hat by simply picking it up... off the street.
(Snatcher Grunting) Lord Portley-Rind : A white hat indicates privilege, prestige, position! It must be earned.
Langsdale : With Valor!
Boulanger : Chivalry!
Broderick : Or being rich! That’s how I got it.
Snatcher : Oh, don’t I know it, Sirs.
Snatcher : Fortunately, we still have our little... agreeeeement. Lord Portley-Rind : Um.. ehhh...
Snatcher : When I destroy every last boxtroll in this town, I shall earn my white hat... and join you in the Tasting Room.
(Door Slams Shut)
Lord Portley-Rind : Good lord. Not sure who should be more terrified - the boxtrolls or us.
(White Hat Laughing)
Lord Portley-Rind : Now, how the devil did my hat get outside in the first place? Snatcher : I was told the wind had something to do with it.
Lord Portley-Rind : The wind, eh?
Winnie :Father, I’m sorry-­ Snatcher : Sorry! Can’t stay. Too much work to do.
Miss Portley-Rind, your Lordship, Sirs. I bid you good night. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again very, very soon.
(Door close)
Lord Portley-Rind : Hmmmm.. Winnie
Snatcher : Don’t forget. I’m a size six-and-a­half. Order ahead.
Snatcher : Ugh!
Winnie : Father, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to.
Well, at first I did, but I think this situation offers a great opportunity for a father and daughter to discuss their feelings...
Winnie : WAIT! I saw something out there. A boy with boxtrolls... Lord Portley-Rind : Not another word.
Winnie : But Father I really... Lord Portley-Rind : Bed!
Winnie : I did see a boy...
Mr. Pickles : Hark! Here come The Exterminators Mr. Gristle : EXTERMINATED.... Ha..Ha..Ha
Mr. Trout : But don’t that sound like we’re the villains? Mr. Pickles : Huh.
Eggs : Run!
Mr. Pickles : Hark! Here come The Exterminators of Justice Mr. Gristle : We exterminate.... Justice
Mr. Gristle : Faster!
Eggs : Grab hold!
Mr. Troutt : Oh..oh...
Egg : Wow...wow...
Mr. Gristle : Ha... Ha... Ha...! Mr. Pickles : Over there Mr. Trout!
Eggs : This way!
Mr. Gristle : My turn! Ha... Ha...!
Fish : Egg!
Fish : Arghhh (gurgling)
Eggs : Fish..No! Fish : Eggs! Eggs!
(Exterminators Laughing Maniacaly)
(Quattro Sabatinos record playing)
Shoes : Huh??
Shoe : (gurgles) Bugs for dinner?
Eggs : Why do we do this, Shoe Shoe : Huh?? (gurgling)
Eggs : Carry on like everything is normal? Shoe : hurrmmm... (thinks)
Eggs : They drag us away and we do nothing...
(Bell Chimes)
Eggs : I look like one of them.
hah... Sort of.
(Boxtroll snoring)
Eggs : I’ll find you, Fish!
(Water Flowing from Pipe)
(Footsteps)
(Manhole Open)
(Crowd Chattering)
Eggs : Ahhhh!!! Towns person : Outta my way..kid!
Photographer : Get yer picture taken with the Trubshaw Baby! A humorous keepsake for this dark and dreadful day!
Eggs : Ehh! Oof. Eek!
Snatcher : Ladies and gents, From the long- lost land of Crackerslovakia - Madame Frou Frou!
(Crowd Cheering & clapping)
Madame Frou Frou : Helloooo Cheesebridge! Hello darlinks! Thank you! Thank you! My darlinks!
Lord Portley-Rind : Yoo hoo! I’m your biggest fan, Frou Frou.
Madame Frou Frou : Lord Portley-Rind, you are too much. Or maybe just enough! Rowrr!
Lord Portley-Rind : Muchhhh... ouch... Very good.
Madame Frou Frou : Today I shall perform ze sad tale of ze Trubshaw baby! But first, I need a helper from ze audience!
Winnie : Me! Pick me! Me! Madame Frou Frou : Anyone? Anyone at all? Nobody?
Townsfolk Boy : Excuse me, I’d like to- Winnie : Move! Step a side! Pick me...
Madame Frou Frou : Ah! Little Miss Portley-Rind, you shall play ze sweet little baby Trubshaw. Winnie : Uhhh..
Winnie : I saw a boy taken by Boxtrolls last night! Maybe your audience would like to hear... oof!
Madame Frou Frou : Stick to ze script, my darlink!
(Jukebox Cranking)
(Crowd Cheering)
(Singging) Ten years ago a plot was hatched. Where evil was with cunning matched
Whoever left their doors unlatched Would find their infant children snatched
By Boxtrolls
Oo no Boxtrolls
Trubshaw Senior loved his kid The same as regular father's did
If you don't want to share his plight Make sure that you are locked up tight
From Boxtrolls
For this night Baby's Dad Trubshaw Quite forgot to lock his door
And as soon as he began to snore The Boxtrolls came in to withdraw Poor Baby
(Crowd Booing)
Boxtrolls....
So lock your windows, bolt your doors Or Boxtrolls with their creepy claws
Will take your children in their paws And drag them down to feed their jaws
Bo..bo...box...Boxtrolls
Mister Trubshaw went quite wild When he found out he'd lost his child
He did what any Dad would do He ran off swiftly to pursue
those Boxtrolls
Help, help, help me please won't you? But the Boxtrolls did what Boxtrolls do
They snatched him up and began to chew Until there was no residue Of Trubshaw.
They pulled him down into their nest Hardly pausing to digest
They left his bones but ate the rest Never be a dinner guest of Boxtrolls
Crowd : Booooo! Eggs : But she’s lying
Songs..of Boxtrollss...
And that's the story of theTrubshaw kid Don't do what Father Trubshaw did
If you see Boxtrolls don't placate them Catch 'em and exterminate them
Hell no..Boxtrolls
(Crowd Cheering)
Madame Frou Frou :Kill those Boxtrolls! Crowd : Kill those boxtrolls!
(Crowd Cheering)
Lord Portley-Rind : Don’t forget about our party tonight, Frou Frou!
Towns person : Oiiii!!!
Winnie :What do you want! Egg : Arggghhh!!!
Winnie : You’re the worst pickpocket I have ever seen. Here, buy a book on how to be a better thief.
Eggs : Wait! I saw you last night.
Eggs : And they took Fish, and... I don’t know where they took him...
Eggs : Ah! Winnie :You were with the boxtrolls last night?
Eggs : Yes. Winnie : Whoah! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
Winnie : Papa didn’t believe me but I knew it!! How did you escape?! Eggs : We went underground and they...
Winnie : Did they drag you down to their hideous caves? Eggs : Huh?
Winnie : Were there mountains of baby bonesand rivers of blood? Eggs : What?
Winnie :Did they eat your family? Eggs : My family
Winnie :Did they let you watch?! I mean, make you watch?! Winnie :Tell me everything!!
Winnie : You bit me. Eggs : I need to find the Men in Red Hats!
Winnie : You bit me with your mouth. Eggs : The Men in Red Hats!
Winnie :The boxtroll exterminators? They live down on Curd’s Way. Eggs : How do I get there?
Winnie :Curds Way? Milk turns into it. (Cymbal Drop)
Eggs : It’s not true, you know. We don’t eat babies!
Winnie : We? What do you mean we? Come back here! And tell me everything!
(Fish Whimpers)
Mr. Gristle : Poke Mr. Pickles : You ever wonder what they’re thinkin’ ‘bout, Mr. Trout?
Mr. Trout : I imagine they’re evaluating their life choices. Mr. Pickles : Ah! Wonderin’ why they chose to be evil, disgusting monsters in
Snatcher : Wrong, Mr. Pickles!
Snatcher : A boxtroll cannot choose a new life because a boxtroll does not aspire to be anything more than a weak, lowly pest.
But a man - a great man! And his...
Mr. Trout : Colleagues? Mr. Pickles : Best chums?
Snatcher : stooges can choose to change their lives. Our dreams are in our grasp!
Snatcher : Let us be dream-graspers, fates, destiny-takers! Let us grasp our dreams and shove them down everyone’s throat! Am I not right?
Mr. Gristle : Throat! Snatcher : Yes!
Snatcher : Now, gentlemen. What better way to dream than to walk in the shoes of those to whom we aspire?
Mr. Pickles, fetch the... Mr. Pickles : Shoes Mr. Trout : Clogs?
Mr. Gristle : Bat! Snatcher : Cheese.
Mr. Trout : Oh no. Mr. Pickles : Oh dear.
Mr. Gristle : Nice! Heh heh heh heh heh...
Snatcher : Men, don your white hats.
Mr. Pickles : Are you sure about this, boss? You know what cheese can do to you...
Snatcher : Unless you are referring to how cheese brings men of respect and power together in brotherhood, no, I do not know what... "Cheese.
Mr. Pickles : That’s what I meant then. Snatcher : Marvelous! Then let us begin.
Snatcher : Enough!
Snatcher : Mmmm!
I say, old chaps, it’s quite, um... Quite-
Mr. Trout : Aromatic? Okay? With an undertone of a mother’s smile on a warm spring day? Hmm...
Snatcher : Yes! Those things! Etcetera etcetera, big words, chummy banter...
Mr. Pickles : Someone’s got the cheese fits again. Mr. Trout : Ohhh...
Mr. Trout : Quickly, quietly, get the leeches.
Mr. Gristle : Quietly! Quietly! Snatcher : Where is he going? Is he getting more cheese?
Mr. Pickles & Mr. Trout : Huh!!!
Mr. Pickles : I think you’ve had enough for today, boss.
Mr. Gristle : Quietly! Snatcher : What?
Snatcher : Isn’t this nice? Chewing the cheddar with the big cheessses. Holding my own-­
With sssophissstication and sssavoir faire!
Mr. Pickles : Yup. Nothing terrifying about that.
Mr. Trout : Uh huh huh... Snatcher : Thisss is where I belong!
Mr. Trout : Spot on, as always, sir. Mr. Pickles : You’re not wrong, boss.
Snatcher : Well not here! In this rotten factory! I belong up there!
Mr. Trout : I’m agreeing so I don’t upset you. Mr. Pickles : Very clever.
Snatcher : In the tasting room, supping on the choicest cheeses... Everyone in town bowing down to me, like a gentleman, a lord with a White Hat!
Mr. Pickles : You’ve never been wrong, boss. Snatcher : It’s a time-honored tradition.
Snatcher : Aaaarrgh! Mr. Trout : Now, now boss... Don’t get yourself all worked up.
Mr. Pickles : Use your breathing. Snatcher : Stand back peasants! You don’t touch your King!
Snatcher : King Archibald Snatcher; Yes, I shall be king too, why not?
Mr. Trout : Stay with us, boss. Mr. Pickles : Tell us more about when you’ll be king.
Snatcher : He won’t let me! That pompous Portley-Rind and his gaggle of giggling sycophants.
Mr. Pickles : Now, now Boss, you be careful up there. Snatcher : Father always said if you worked hard, you’d get a white hat!
And what did he ever get! Nothing!
Eggs : Shussshhh
Eggs : lets go
Come on... come on..
Snatcher : I’m alright. Just give me a hand. Mr. Pickles : Ugh... Mother of sausages!
Mr. Trout : Holy meat glove!
Mr. Trout : Upsy daisy now, Boss. Let's get you a nice cuppa tea.. (Smacks Mr. Trout)
Mr. Pickles : Aaaah! Mister Snatcher!
Mr. Pickles : Portley Rind; Huh? What is it, Mr. Snatcher? Snatcher : You!!!!
Mr. Pickles : Me? Snatcher : Give me that hat!
Snatcher :I’ll make those brie stuffed pigs bow down to me! I’m going to be somebody!
Mr. Pickles : Ahh! I got him! Do it! Mr. Trout : Mr. Gristle; Now!
Mr. Pickles : Now! Now! Now!!
Mr. Gristle : Leeches! Snatcher : Ahhhhh! Ugh. ouf. gahhh!
Eggs : Eww! You have got to help me, Fish! Fish : (gurgles) Okay.
Eggs : (groan) Uggggh.
Snatcher : (groggy) Oh, hello. Where were we? Mr. Trout : We was about to... uhh...
Mr. Gristle : Leeches. Mr. Trout : ... Put that new boxtroll to work. Ain’t that right, Mr. Pickles?
Mr. Pickles : That is correct. Snatcher : Ah yes... right. Open the workshop Mr. Trout!
(Gas Hissing, Gear Clanking)
Snatcher : Huh? Where is the beast?
Fish : Huh?
Eggs : (gasps) But.. you’re all alive!?
Oil Can : Eggs? Boxtroll Prisone : Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!
Mr. Pickles : There he is...
Snatcher : It can’t be. It’s not possible. It’s not right! Mr. Pickles : That’s our boxtroll! Give ‘im back!
Snatcher : Don’t stand there gawking. Get him! Mr. Gristle : Chase time!
Snatcher : Mr. Trout!
Fish : AHHHHHH!
Snatcher : Ten years and now you show up?!
Oil Can : Eggggs! Eggs : What are you doing with them?
Snatcher : You’ll find out soon enough!
Mr. Gristle : Up! I'm flying on the cage! Ha..ha.....
Snatcher : Shoot Mr. Pickles! Shoot! Mr. Pickles : It’d be easier if he’d stop moving!
Mr. Pickles : Stop moving!
Mr. Pickles : Thank you.
Eggs : Boxtrolls don’t hurt anyone! Let them go! Snatcher :Yes, well, I need them. They’re my ticket to a white hat, Trubshaw Baby!
Winnie : Trubshaw Baby!?
(Harpoon Fired)
Winnie : I knew there was something strange about you!
Mr. Pickles : (Chuckles)
Snatcher : Miss Portley-Rind! What a surprise!
Snatcher : Does your.. does your father know you’re here? Winnie : No of course not!
But wait til I tell him! The Trubshaw Baby! Alive!
Mr. Trout : Sorry, miss. Winnie : What are you doing? Unhand me!
Snatcher : Looks like the Boxtrolls have a new victim, miss. And her name is YOU.
Winnie : What have you dragged me into? Egg : Run
Mr. Gristle : I’m swinging on a chain! Eggs & Winnie : AHHH!
Mr. Pickles : Don’t make no sense. That’s evil prevailing over good. Snatcher : If Lord Portley-Rind finds out that boy is alive, it will ruin
Mr. Trout : You mean, we worked for?
Mr. Pickles : I think we’re all saying the same thing here. Mr. Trout : I don’t think we are.
Snatcher : Barghhh Bah... Mr. Pickles : But, just in different ways.
Winnie :(gasp) Ahhhhhhhhh!
Winnie : Stay away from me! Someone, help!!! Wealthy girl in danger!
(Winnie Screming)
Winnie : If you’re going to eat me just get it over with. I’m sure I’m delicious.
Winnie : Hmm?
Fish : (Gurgling and excited hellos) Eggs : It’s not just us. All the others are alive too!
Eggs : We saw them! Winnie : What’s going on?!
Eggs : Oil Can, Wheels :, all of them! Specs : (GURGLES)
Eggs : Yes! Clocks : (gurgled) Where are they?
Eggs : I don’t know, but The Redhats have them building something in their factory.
Winnie : I said what’s going on? Why aren’t they ripping out our eyeballs and eating our faces?
Winnie : And where are the rivers of blood and mountains of bones?! I was promised mountains of bones!!
Eggs : I told you, we don’t eat people! Winnie :Why do you keep saying “we”? You’re not one of them! You’re a boy!
Eggs : No I’m not, I’m a boxtroll! Eggs; the boxtroll. Winnie :Oh really? Then let’s see you fit in your box.
Eggs : I... I can’t right now. Winnie :Mm hmm.
Eggs : I’m long-boned. Winnie : You don’t talk like them!
Eggs : I- I have a speech impediment! Winnie : Your ears aren’t pointy!
Eggs : I slept on them funny! Winnie :Oh for goodness sake. Give me your hand!
Winnie : I don’t bite.
Eggs : Hey!
Winnie : You’re one of us. You’re a boy, Eggs; Or should I call you the Trubshaw baby?
Eggs : It’s not true is it Fish? I’m a boxtroll like you, aren’t I? Fish : “No”.
Winnie : See?! I was right! Now admit it, admit you stole him! Fish : Gurglegurglegurgle!
Winnie : Is he confessing? Eggs : He says I was... given to him.
Winnie :Ha, right again! I- ...wait, what? Eggs : I was given to you?
Eggs : Who gave me to you? Fish : [GURGLE GURGLE]
Winnie : What’s he saying? Eggs : Oh, sorry. He says a long time a go there was a kind man...
Eggs : The one man in town who saw they weren’t monsters... (Baby Giggles) Eggs : But builders... like him.
Herbert : I’ve tried adjusting the dongle and there doesn’t seem to be any possible solut... Oh look, you’ve solved it!
Herbert : Who’s up for a jelly break?
Herbert : I tell you I could eat this stuff for the rest of my life.
Egg : But one night...
Snatcher : Come on! I’m being reasonable. I can be unreasonable.
Eggs : Snatcher wanted him to build something....But he refused... Herbert : I-- I’m an inventor, not a killer!
Eggs : And when the Redhats tried to take me away from him...
Snatcher : Maybe if I hold on to your son... Herbert : Not my boy!
Herbert : Run! Take my son...
(Baby Crying)
Eggs : And then they...
Winnie : They what? Eggs : They killed him.
Winnie :I think that kind man was your father.
Eggs : What’s a father?
Winnie :Um... well... a father is the one who raises you...
looks after you... Loves you...
Eggs : Oh! Like Fish.... Winnie : Yes...
Winnie : No. They’re supposed to be like that man in the story. Someone who’ll do anything to help you. They always listen and never get angr
Winnie : They guide you when you don’t know what to do. They’re there when it’s dark
and you’re scared or lonely, and they are never, ever too busy to talk to you...
Eggs : You have a father!
We can tell him I’m the Trubshaw Baby... and the boxtrolls didn’t eat me. And he’ll stop Snatcher!
Winnie :Well, he doesn’t really listen to children. Eggs : He’s a father, isn’t he?
Winnie :You don’t know what he’s like. Eggs : But he’s the only father we have
Eggs : Please help us.
Winnie : If I agree to help, you have to do exactly as I say. Eggs : I promise!
Winnie :All right, first thing’s first... off with the box. Boxtrolls terrified : AAAAAAAAh!
Winnie : Stop that!
Alright, you petty thieves. Bring me your loot!
Oh, thanks.
No.
This might work.
No
(Growls)
Oh yes!
No!
Yes!
Winnie : You look like a proper boy
Eggs : Me... a proper boy.
Winnie : How do we get out of this place?
Winnie : AHHHHHHHH!
Winnie : Come on Eggs
Winnie : STOP! You don’t scratch there in public! That’s why they’re called... (whispered)... privates.
Eggs : (whispered) Okay
Winnie : For this is to work, there are a few things you need to know. When you meet someone, you must look them in the eye and shake hands.
Winnie : What are you doing?! Put those down!
Like this.
Winnie : The other one. Eggs : Oh, right.
Winnie :Then you say, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Eggs : “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Winnie : And you say that even if you’re not pleased to meet them.
Winnie : Just stick close, okay?
Eggs : Which one is your father? Winnie : Lord Portley-Rind
He’s usually making speeches about cheese.
Lady Cyhthia : Oh, Winifred! Winnie : Hello, mommy dear.
Lady Cyhthia : Oh. Who is this?
Eggs : I’m Eggs.. Winnie : Bert. Eggsbert. Is a normal name... that he has.
Lady Cyhthia : Eggsbert. How nice, I... umm, adore names from the bible.
Eggs : Its a pleasure to meet you. Winnie : No, no. You kiss a lady’s hand.
Lady Cyhthia : Darling, it’s time to take off that dress and... burn it.
Winnie : Don’t move. I’ll be right back. Eggs : But which ones are the ladies?!
Lady Broderick : Oh! Sir Broderick : Ahem!
Eggs : It’s a pleasure to meet you. Sir Broderick : Very good.
Eggs : Even if I don’t mean it! Sir Broderick : What? Well, I never!
Eggs : And, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Lady Broderick : Nooo!
Eggs : I was right! It’s a pleasure to meet you...
it’s a pleasure to meet you...
it’s a pleasure to meet youuuuu! Oooooh!
Sir Langsdale : [GRUNT!]
Eggs : Yum. Mmm thats good. Boulanger : (clears throat loudly)
Eggs : Huh? Oh!
Butler : Ladies and Gentlemen... Lord Portley-Rind!
Lord Portley-Rind : Distinguished members of the cheese guild We were here to celebrate the successful fund-raising for a new children’s hospital
But my fellow White Hats and I decided the money would be better spent on this. I present: The Briehemoth!
Madame Frou Frou : Zere you are!
Madame Frou Frou : Come. Such a naughty boy! We have so much to discuss. (Snatcher's voice) Alone
Madame Frou Frou : (Snatcher’s voice) Come to snitch on old Snatcher did you?
SIR Broderick : Hello, Frou Frou! Madame Frou Frou : Nice to see you, too!
Madame Frou Frou : You really think Portley-Rind will help a nobody like YOU? In this town, you want help, you’ve got to help yourself! That’s
Eggs : You’re a liar! When I tell Winnie’s father the truth, he’ll-- OOF!
Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : He’ll THANK ME! Because all your little boxtroll friends are going to die...tonight.
Eggs : What?! Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : That will make me the most respected man in this town.
Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : They’ll have no choice but to give me a white hat.
Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : They’ll parade me into the tasting room on their shoulders!
Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : And I’m not going to let that be ruined by some little boxtroll sewer rat
Sir Langsdale : Yoo hoo, Madame Frou Frou... You promised your snookums a dance! Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : I did? I did! Ha! But of course!
Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : Oooh! Vatch your hands, monsieur! Sir Langsdale : (laughs lasciviously)
Winnie :There you are. Eggs : We have to get to your father!
Winnie : You can’t just cut through.
Winnie : We’ll dance! Eggs : We’ll WHAT?
Winnie : Like this. One two three... one two three.
Winnie : Just make a box. Eggs : You made me get out of my box!
Winnie : With your feet, silly!
That’s it, Eggs ... You’re dancing! (Both Laughing)
Eggs : Snatcher is here. Winnie : Who? Where?
Sir Broderick : My turn, Madame.
Winnie : Frou Frou? Eggs : I uh...
Sir Broderick : (lascivious laughter) Ah ha ha ha!
Lady Cynthia : (startled, confused) Ooh!
(Ladies Screams!)
Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : (snarls) Lord Portley-Rind : What is going on here?
Lord Portley-Rind : No.. No.. N.. N.. Nooo!
Lord Portley-Rind : What have you done!? Eggs : Lord Winnie’s Father...
Eggs : People of the upper world
- Archibald Snatcher has lied to you all!
Eggs : He told you that boxtrolls are monsters -- that they steal children -- but they don’t.
They would never hurt anyone. I know because...
Eggs : Because... I am the Trubshaw Baby!
Lord Portley-Rind : Do you know how expensive that cheese was? Eggs : What?!
Lord Portley-Rind : We might as well have built a children’s hospital! Winnie :Did you hear a word he said?!
Lord Portley-Rind : Not now. Winnie : But father-­
Lord Portley-Rind : Have you any idea how long it will take my men to Fish it out of the river?!
Langsdale : Ahh. What? Boulanger : Eww... the river?
Eggs : If you won’t listen to me, ask Snatcher himself.
(Crowd shock) (GASP!)
Madame Frou Frou/Snatcher : You have me. I am not a true red head.
Lady Cynthia : Poor woman. Lord Portley-Rind : You insult our guest of honor?
Lord Portley-Rind : Who are you?! Eggs : A proper boy.
Winnie : He is with me father. Lord Portley-Rind : You know this... creature?
Winnie : He’s my friend. What he said is true-­ Lord Portley-Rind : Enough!
Winnie :But... Lord Portley-Rind : Winifred!
Lord Portley-Rind : I don’t want to see you again, do you hear me? Eggs : But he’s not a..
Lord Portley-Rind : Leave my house
Now
Snatcher : Zees parties are so confusing. No? Lord Portley-Rind : There, there. You poor, poor dear.
Winnie : Eggs, wait!
Eggs : You said fathers were supposed to help. That they took care of kids.
Winnie :(sigh) Well, they’re supposed to. Eggs : People are just mean and selfish.
They’re monsters
Winnie : Not all of us. You aren’t.
Eggs : Well, I don’t want to be a boy anymore.
Eggs : It was a pleasure meeting you. Winnie : Eggs...
Eggs : And, Winnie I really do mean it.
BOXTROLLS : Eggs!
Eggs : We have to leave the cavern.
(The boxtrolls stop drumming)
Eggs : We’re not safe down here anymore. Come on...
Eggs : I said, we have to leave now!
Eggs : Snatcher is planning something! We have to get out of here.
Eggs : Come on let’s go. Now!
Eggs : Get up! No! No! Don’t don’t just hide! What are you doing?!
Eggs : Fish, help me.
Eggs : No! I’m not a boxtroll!
Eggs : I’m sorry. I... I didn’t mean it. Please come out. Fish...
(Cavern Rumbles)
Eggs : He’s here.
Boxtrolls : AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Snatcher : How’s that for an entrance!
Mr. Pickles : Dramatical! Mr. Trout : Don’t you mean “dramatic”?
(Mr. Gristle laughs insanely)
Eggs : AHH!
Eggs : Get up! That thing will kill you! Snatcher : My, my, what a surprise. Don’t look
like your little friends wanna run, does it?
How strange, how peculiar. No, wait, it’s exactly as I expected!
Eggs : You have to get up. Please! Snatcher : NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, TRUBSHAW!
Snatcher : Time to earn my white hat!
Eggs : No!
Eggs : Fish! Shoe!
Eggs : No! Please!
Snatcher :Give up, Trubshaw! Boxtrolls lost looooong time ago.
These miserable pests will never be a match for a man with dream! Mr. Gristle!
Fish : Eggs? Eggs? Snatcher : Acquire them!
Fish : (SNARLS FEROCIOUSLY)
Mr. Pickles : Never seen one do that before! Mr. Gristle : That Boxtroll was mad!
Mr. Pickles : Goodness always triumphs over evil... right Mr. Trout? Mr. Trout?
Mr. Pickles : I’m still sixty to seventy percent certain that’s us. A couple of goodguys vanquishing evil and all that.
Prisoner : (whispered) Jelly... Jelly! Eggs : What the...?
Prisoner : When I’m good I get jelly
. I like jelly. JELLY!
Eggs : (whispers) Who are you? Prisoner : Who am I? Who are you?
Eggs : (confused, defeated) I don’t know.
Prisoner : Boy? Or Boxtroll?
Prisoner : Dresses like a boxtroll, but, uh... looks like a boy.
A boy-troll? Yes, or a box-boy? A new species. Never seen before.
Snatcher : (humming... then in normal voice) Ohhh... nooo boxtrolls!
Snatcher : Trubshaw senior loved his kid, same as regular faaaaathers did....
Eggs : He’s my, you’re my... are you my father? Herbert : JELLY!
Snatcher : He was once. Won’t get much out of him now, though. A decade hanging upside down scrambled his noodles good.
Snatcher : Still, did a fine job designing this beauty. Best inventor in town, your dad. Working with the best little builders.
Eggs : No, no no, don’t hide. Fish! Shoe! RUN! Get up, get up and run! Sparky. Sweets, run!
Snatcher :Yell all you want, boy. They ain’t gonna run. You can’t change nature.
Snatcher : I’m coming down, men! I want to pull the crushing lever myself!
It’s the little moments.
Herbert : Yes. I see it now! A mutation of nature. Self-imposed metamorphosis.
Boxboy! You did it!
Eggs : I don’t understand. Herbert : You changed your nature. Tell them.
Eggs : I tried. They won’t listen.
Herbert You did it. You made you. Tell them.
Tell them!
Herbert : Boxboy! BOXBOY! My son.
Eggs : Father? Herbert : Son!
Herbert : Son! They can change. They can do it! Tell them.
Eggs : Fish, Fish, everyone! Listen!
I’m a boxtroll and I stopped hiding, so you can too! Stand up for yourselves! We can fight back! Don’t be afraid anymore. Sparky! Fragile! Ge
Eggs : Just stand up and take a step. Please! Do it for me!
Snatcher : Well, good speech.
Eggs : No! No! No! NOOOOOO!
Fish, Shoe, Sparky...
Herbert Look what you did. Look what you did! (laughs) Eggs : Yeah. Yeah look what I did. They’re crushed.
Mr. Trout : Hey, Boss, your monsters are all loaded.
Snatcher : All.... but.... one....
Snatcher : Hear ye! Hear ye!
Good citizens of Cheesebridge,
come out of your homes!
The curfew has been lifted!
Townsfolk Boy : Whoah! What is it?
Snatcher : Fear not, the monsters have been vanquished!
Snatcher : Your streets are SAFE! Mr. Gristle : SAAAFE!
Male Townsfolk : The curfew is over? Mr. Trout : Yeah...
Snatcher : Join me! Your purger of pests! Your white knight who has taken back the night!
Snatcher : Lord Portley-Riiiiind!
(Door Squeks)
Snatcher : I come bearing the most delightful news.
Lord Portley-Rind : Mr. Snatcher, what the devil is this?
Snatcher : Show him lads.
Snatcher : Flattened to extinction. Every last, slimy one of them.
Snatcher : Your lordship, I said I would not rest until I caught every last boxtroll and I am a man of my word
Snatcher : With this boxtroll, I will end their reign of terror.
Winnie : Eggs!
Snatcher : I’d say that deserves a white hat, don’t you?
Shopkeeper Women : A.. A white hat for Mr. Snatcher !
Lord Portley-Rind : Yes, well. I’m not sure... We’d have to take a vote...
(Crowd in unison, chanting) WHITE HAT! WHITE HAT! WHITE HAT!
Lord Portley-Rind : There’s probably some, uh, paperwork... then have a hat shipped in...
Snatcher :No. Me thinks a deed of this magnitude deserves something a bit more... significant.
Snatcher : I want YOUR hat. Lord Portley-Rind : My hat?
(Crowd in unison, chanting) WHITE HAT! WHITE HAT! WHITE HAT!
Lord Portley-Rind : All right. All right. As soon as that boxtroll is dead, you may have... my... hat.
Snatcher : Yes. And then we can eat cheese together. In the Tasting Room.
Snatcher : Do the honors.
Mr. Pickles : I thought this was all gonna be a show, like with Frou Frou. I brought my mustache and everything.
Mr. Trout : This really does stretch the limits of the term “hero”, doesn’t it?
Mr. Gristle : HAT! (CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY)
Snatcher : Musician, drum-roll!
Snatcher : Mr. Trout! Lower the beast down.
Lord Portley-Rind : Repeat after me: With this hat, I, state your name... Snatcher : With this hat, I, Archibald Penelope Snatcher
Snatcher : Proudly swear to uphold the dignity of the White Hat.
Winnie : Father! Father! Lord Portley-Rind : Not now, Winifred!
Winnie : STOP! STOP!
Mr. Trout : I can’t, miss. Apologies. Mr. Pickles : We’re just doing our jobs.
Winnie :Your JOBS? Are you pest exterminators or evil henchmen?! Mr. Pickles : I knew that’s how people saw us.
Winnie :You don’t have to do this! Mr. Trout : She has a point, Mr. Pickles,This could be our chance for redemption.
Mr. Pickles : A second chapter! Mr. Trout : People love a flawed hero!
Winnie : Sure, yes, whatever! Just let him go!
Mr. Trout : Ok... Mr. Pickles : Yup..
Mr. Pickles : Redeemed! Mr. Trout : Thank you, miss.
Mr. Gristle : Ha HA! Winnie : STOP IT!
Winnie : Let me go!!!
Herbert : Jelly! Jelly! JELLY! Mr. Gristle : Hmm?
Herbert : JELLY! Ha ha ha ha!
(Crowd) BOXTROLLS! And they’re NAKED!
Mr. Gristle : OHH! EWW -- NAKED!
Lord Portley-Rind : What is going on here?! Snatcher : I... I am befuddled as your lordship! I... I crushed them myself!
Lord Portley-Rind : Evidently not! That was the closest you will ever come to a White Hat.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Eggs : You’re alive! You’re all alive! But how?! I saw you crushed! Fish : (GURGLES)
Winnie : Ahem? Eggs : Oh... sorry. He says they were hiding and then they heard me yelling at them...
Eggs : We can fight back! Don’t be afraid anymore. Sparky! Fragile! Get up! Get up and fight. Stand up! Fight back. Please! Do it for me!
Snatcher : Wow, good speech.
Herbert : Boxboy! Look what you did!
Eggs : You got out of your boxes! You did it!
Workman : The boy is friends with a boxtroll?! Shopkeeper Lady : But boxtrolls are monsters.
Winnie :Boxtrolls aren’t monsters. They never ate the Trubshaw Baby, he’s right there with Fish and (GASPS)
Eggs : My father. Winnie : Your father?
Herbert : Look what you did. Eggs : You were right. Thank you.
(Crow Chatting) Herbert Trubshaw? The inventor? Alive? Oh get out of here. Snatcher said he was killed. How can that be? How is this possible? He
Lord Portley-Rind : He lied to us and to poor Madame Frou Frou!
Lord Portley-Rind : Snatcher! Snatcher : We could've been somezing special, but you've broken our agreement.
Lord Portley-Rind : Why is he talking like Madame Frou ­ Oh my God! I regret so much.
Snatcher : I’ll take my white hat now. Lord Portley-Rind : AHHHH!
Lord Portley-Rind : RUN!
Aristocrat Male : The curfew’s back on! IT’S BACK ONNN!
Eggs : No more hiding, right? Fish : (GURGLES “RIGHT!”)
Eggs : RIGHT?
Eggs : You built that thing! You can take it apart!
Knickers : (GURGLES a war cry)
Snatcher : Loooord POORTLEY-RIIIIND! Come out, come out, come out!
Snatcher : Whoah whoa.
Sweet : (Gurgles Angry)
Eggs : Tear it down!
Snatcher : Get your grimy paws off of my machine!
Eggs : We need to put out the fire!
Lord Portley-Rind : (gasp) AHH!
Winnie : Oh Mister Snatcher...
Winnie : how did this hat get alllll the waaayyy out here?
Snatcher : You vile little brat! Winnie : Ooh!
Mr. Trout : Perhaps we can be of some assistance, miss.
Mr. Pickles : So this is what all the fuss is about?
Mr. Pickles : What do you think, Mr. Trout?
Mr. Pickles : ‘Ere you have a go.
Mr. Trout : I think white quite suits me.
Snatcher : You ungrateful stooges!
Mr. Pickles : Is this what you wanted, boss?
Snatcher : Mine! Lord Portley-Rind : Mine!
Herbert : Jelly!
(GURGLE YELL!) Eggs : Whoops!
Snatcher : Stop destroying my indestructible machine!
Snatcher : AHHHHHHH!!!!
Eggs : Fish, grab hold! Fish : (GURGLES “PULL!”)
Eggs : That’s right! Pull it over there! Snatcher : YOU FILTHY MONSTER!
Fish : (GURGLED) Uh oh.(gurgled) IT DOESN’T REACH! Winnie : IT DOESN’T REACH! PULL IT HARDER!
Snatcher : You think you can win and live happily ever after!
They’ll never accept the likes of us!
Winnie : ALL TOGETHER!
Mr. Trout : Now! Mr. Pickles : Pull!
Eggs : I’m nothing like you. You’re the monster! Snatcher : MONSTER?
WHITE HATS : WE’VE DONE IT!/ HUZZAH!/ THREE CHEERS FOR US!
Sir Langsdale : We got the cheese. Lord... Portley-... Rind?
Mr. Gristle : UGH! I HAVE LOST A LOT OF BLOOD.
Snatcher : RAWR!!!
Mr. Pickles : Eww! Mr. Trout : Not again.
Lord Portley-Rind : Winnifred!
Snatcher : Gift... Me... My... Hat...
Lord Portley-Rind : Well... what about Broderick’s hat? It’s just as white and fluffy.
Lord Portley-Rind : Oh take it.
Lord Portley-Rind : Just let go of my daughter.
Snatcher : YEAH! ARSHBALL SHNASHER, YOOFINE’LY DONE IT!
Snatcher : NOW TO THE TASHTING ROOM!
Snatcher : Men, don your White Hatsh...
Eggs : Please, Snatcher , let her go. You don’t have to do this-­
Snatcher : ENOUGH!! ISH TASHTING TIME!
Lord Portley-Rind : I present the tastiest cheese known to man. Made from the milk of the male, lactating fruit bats in Borneo.
Aged for centuries in secret-­
Snatcher : Shut up! Enough shtalling.
Snatcher : (snifffff) Yesh... rich bouquet, cheesy cheese-like... OW!
Lord Portley-Rind : Oh, my Winnikens!
Snatcher : you bit me... wif yor... MOUTH?!
Eggs : Don’t do it. It won’t change who you are
Eggs : Cheese, hats, boxes - they don’t make you. You make you
Snatcher : I have made me, boy.
Snatcher : This is my dessshhtiny.
Snatcher : Mmm, aromatic?... Okay?... With an undertone of a mother’s s....
Winnie : There I was, trapped in his sweaty armpit...
Winnie : ...Until he swelled like a balloon and.. POP! -­
Winnie : An ocean of guts exploded over us like a hurricane of YUCK!
Lord Portley-Rind : My little angel. My weird little angel.
Eggs : Winnie!
Winnie :Huh?
Eggs : Where’s Fish? Winnie : Uhh.
Winnie : And now I will tell the heroic story of the Naked Boxtrolls and the Crusher of DOOOOOOM!
Sir Langsdale : It hasn’t worked right in years! I said I like it burnt, then she says well I don’t! So here I am.
Eggs : You guys seen Fish? Bucket and Sparky : No
Eggs : Thanks!
Sir Langsdale : Oh. I... I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Eggs : Have you seen Fish? Sweets : Mushurgle, mushmoogle, mushmushgurgle
Sweets : Nope.
Herbert : Ahh, there he is. Fish : Eggs!
Eggs : Look what I found! Herbert : Brilliant, son!
Eggs : And now we go like this.
Herbert : Ahh. I’ve missed so much.
Mr. Trout : Aww, ain’t that lovely? Mr. Pickles : Yeah... all happy ‘n tidy.
Mr. Trout : Like the end of a story, if our lives were a story.
Mr. Pickles : Not sure what we’d do next, though.
Shoe : (GURGLES angrily)