翻譯:Dusty 校對:Dusty 潤色: Dusty 聯繫方式QQ174898201
我愛死你了 I love you so much.
我也愛你 I love you too.
我們買了 We'll take it.
一 二 三 One, two, three.
- 用力推 - 老爸 我喘不過氣了 Push. But, dad, I'm out of breath.
都說了叫你別抽煙 Yeah, well, I told you not to smoke.
我還以為你指的是可卡因 I thought you just meant crack.
也包括香煙 No, I meant cigarettes too.
就你這個年紀 你應該只抽水煙 At your age, you should just be vaping.
- 快推 - 老媽哪去了 ? Push. Where's mum?
她還在傢俱店呢 She's still in the furniture store.
老爸 把床墊放這房間裡 Hey, dad, let's put it in here.
不行 這是我弟弟的房間 No. That is me brother's room.
可是 他都失蹤28年了 But, dad, he's been missing for 28 years.
我們需要這房間 你有9個小孩呢 We need the room. There's nine of us.
不行 得讓這房間保持當年的模樣 No. I'm keeping it the way he likes it.
不過當他回來之後 我得告訴他殘酷的真相 Though when he comes back, I will have to break it to him
他以前崇拜的一些偶像 that some of his childhood heroes didn't love women
其實都不喜歡女人 as much as we thought they did.
而其中一人又喜歡得有點過頭了 And one of them liked them a little too much.
老爸 你絕對找不到他了 Dad, you're never gonna find him.
還是放棄吧 You might as well just give up.
放棄 ? Give up?
我很清楚他就在某處 I know he's out there somewhere.
而某一天 And one day,
他會重回我們家庭的懷抱 he's gonna join our family again.
綠色地球 Green earth.
格雷夫特工 已為你同步資料 Agent graves, your feed is live.
目標是"大漩渦"的副指揮 The target is maelstrom's second in command.
他有著我們必須搶奪的信息 He has information we must extract.
擒獲後拷問他 但別殺死他了 Capture and interrogate. Do not terminate.
開始攔截 九 八 Interception in nine, eight,
七 六 seven, six,
五 四 five, four,
三 二 一 three, two, one.
已找到目標 Eyes on the target.
注意別傷到目標 Easy. Eyes on the target.
請注意 東邊有多名敵人 Be advised, multiple hostiles to the east.
目標正在移動 Target mobile.
目標正向北逃走 Target heading north.
計劃有變 Alpha 1's now bravo 1.
- 他有機車 - 收到 He's mobile. Roger that.
快讓路 閃開 Out of the way. Move, move, move.
我借用一下 謝謝 May I borrow this? Thank you.
已獲取車輛 正追趕目標 Now complete on bravo 1, following bravo 1.
目標開始步行 正在追擊 Alpha 1 now on foxtrot. I'm in pursuit.
南方有敵人 Hostiles to your south,
正趕往你的位置 advancing on your position.
目標已經上車 而且還有增援 立刻終止追捕 Bravo 1 is now mobile. He has backup. End pursuit now.
不了謝謝 I'd rather not.
我的槍 ! My gun!
指揮官 快回頭 視頻通訊信號 Commander, relay back. We are now nearing the limit
已經快到極限距離了 of live feed transmission.
你們好啊 Hello, chaps.
請求終止任務 指揮官 請回話 Permission to abort now. Commander, acknowledge.
再見 Goodbye.
繫好安全帶 ! Buckle up!
Lonomia毛毛蟲的毒液 Lonomia caterpillar toxin's
已經進入了你的血管 貝德先生 entered your bloodstream, Mr. Beder.
你離心臟衰竭還有90秒 You have 90 seconds until heart failure.
不過我這裡有解藥 I do, however, have the antidote here.
告訴我你們"大漩渦"組織 Perhaps you'd like to tell me what your friends
高層的計劃 at the maelstrom syndicate are planning.
60秒 Sixty seconds.
朗達·喬治 Rhonda George.
- 一場暗殺 - 朗達·喬治 ? An assassination. Rhonda George?
她是一名女演員和慈善家 She's the actress and philanthropist.
她兩天後會主持一場"世界靈藥"活動 She's hosting an event for worldcure in two days, sir.
給我解藥 Give me the antidote.
恐怕已經晚了 It's too late, I'm afraid.
你得去參加這場活動 塞巴斯蒂安 I want you at this event, Sebastian.
明智的選擇 萊福德指揮官 Very wise, commander ledford.
維爾貝克接球 魯尼也在附近 Welbeck's touch. Rooney's there too.
傳到卡裡克腳上 導給了貝恩斯 Now carrick, here's baines.
無人防守 Oh, he's free.
英國要參加半決賽了 England are heading to the semis,
英國球迷們有好戲看了 ! to the delight of millions at home!
大伙們 Hey, everyone.
讓我們像成年人一樣慶祝吧 Let's celebrate responsibly.
噢 ! Oh!
不敢相信又發生這種事了 Can't believe it's happened again.
快拔出來 快拔出來 Get it out. Get it out.
快拔出來 Get it out. Get out.
- 他要爆炸了 ! - 快讓路 婊砸們 He's gonna blow! Out the way, ladies.
- 我拿滅火器來了 - 感謝郭家 I've got the fire extinguisher. Thank the lord.
諾比在哪 諾比在哪 ? 諾比 ! Where's nobby? Where is he? Where's nobby? Nobby!
諾比 諾比 Nobby. Nobby, nobby.
你幹嘛這麼喘 ? Why are you so out of breath?
我從家裡跑來的 I've run all the way from home.
可你家就在街對面 But you only live across the street.
你還記得我表帝格爾嗎 ? Do you remember me cousin, digger?
- 那個毛賊 ? - 對 What, the thief? Yeah.
他有天晚上在一個聚會上扒竊 Well, he was nicking coats at a posh event the other night,
你絕對猜不到他看到誰了 and you'll never guess who he saw.
- 誰 ? - 我們終於找到他了 Who? We finally found him.
我們終於找到你弟弟了 We finally found your brother.
諾比·布徹 以及 塞巴斯蒂安·布徹 Nobby and Sebastian butcher.
我們是格林斯比的布徹兄弟 We're the butcher boys of grimsby.
他們永遠別想拆散我們 They'll never split us up.
- 永遠 ! - 永遠 ! Forever! Forever!
你弟弟明天要去參加一場上流活動 Your brother is gonna be at a fancy party tomorrow.
可我怎麼進去 ? But how will I get in?
我表弟給你偷了張門票 Me cousin's nicked you a ticket.
全球的領袖們 Leaders from around the world,
比如世界衛生組織的領頭人 such as the head of the world health organization
哈維爾·阿爾瓦雷斯 以及包括丹尼爾·拉德克裡夫在內的名人 Javier Alvarez and celebrities, including Daniel Radcliffe,
都前來參加了"世界靈藥"活動 have gathered at this worldcure event,
主辦人是 慈善家朗達·喬治 sponsored by philanthropist, Rhonda George.
綠色地球 Green earth.
格雷福斯特工 Agent graves,
已為你同步 your feed is live.
- 是誰在我耳朵裡說話 ? - 是我 Who's this in my ear? It's me.
別調情了 這是公開頻道 And stop flirting. We're on an open channel.
好吧 Right.
- 多少錢 ? - 免費的 先生 How much? Complimentary, sir.
你們好啊 How now?
嗨 Hi.
你有沒有見到我弟弟 他叫塞巴斯蒂安 Have you seen me brother? He's called Sebastian.
這是他的照片 我幾年前紋的 Here's a photo of him. It was taken a few years ago.
你就位了沒 格雷夫特工 ? Are you in position yet, agent graves?
啊歐 Uh-oh.
別這樣 卡住了 Come on. It's stuck.
快出來啊 Come on.
大家歡迎 朗達·喬治 Please welcome Rhonda George.
大家下午好 女士先生們 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
謝謝大家 Thank you.
當我一開始發起"世界靈藥"的時候 When I started worldcure,
很多人都經常對我說 people would constantly say to me:
"你無法治癒全世界的疾病" "You cannot rid the world of disease."
而我會直視他們的雙眼 I would look them straight in the eye
並說 "我就是能" and say, "Yes, I can."
有沒有發現敵人的馬腳 格雷夫 ? Can you detect any imminent threat, graves?
我們將會想出辦法 We are gonna figure this out.
而我們的第一步 就是這裡 就是現在 And it all starts right here, right now,
從一個小孩開始 with one little boy.
他的名字叫洛莫·哈立迪 His name is schlomo khalidi.
女士先生們 我們將治癒全世界 Ladies and gentlemen, we will cure the world.
我媽媽是猶太人 Mummy was Jewish.
爸爸是巴勒斯坦人 Daddy was palestinian.
但他倆互相深愛著 But they both loved each other so very much.
我天生就有艾滋病 I was born with HIV.
現在我已經病入膏肓了 Now I am very sick with aids.
太棒了 ! Yes! Fantastic!
你就等死吧 ! You are not coming back from that!
噓 ! Shh!
雖然這個疾病會殺死我... Though this disease may kill me...
- 襲擊者... - ...為什麼我們 The operator. ...Why can't we stop
在中東就不能停止互相殺戮 ? killing each other in the middle east?
襲擊者在哪 ? Where's the operator?
攝影機其實是槍 The camera's a gun.
該死 攝影機其實是槍 ! Damn. The camera's a gun!
你是誰 ? Who are you?
我啊 It's me.
諾比 Nobby.
諾比 ? Nobby?
到底出了什麼差錯 ? What the hell just happened?
世界衛生組織的領頭人中槍了 The head of the world health organization's been shot.
快找到槍手位置 ! 快找到槍手位置 ! Locate the shooter! Locate the shooter!
上面有槍手 ! There's the shooter!
虎尾小隊 秘密行動 Tiger tail. Undercover.
我的子彈被人干擾了 My shot was compromised.
幹掉他 ! Take him out!
長官 已經得到證實了 Sir, we have confirmation.
是格雷夫開的槍 Graves took the shot.
格雷夫 ? Graves?
嗷 ! Ow!
快住手 別打他 Cut it out. Leave him alone.
注意身後 ! Behind you!
- 我該怎麼幫忙 ? - 離我遠點 How can I help? You can stay away from me.
你需要我的幫助 You need me help.
混球 Fucking twat.
再見 諾比 Goodbye, nobby.
別擔心 我不會離開你的 ! Don't worry. I won't leave you!
啊 ! Aah!
- 啊 ! 我的腳踝 ! - 我的酒瓶 Aah! My ankle! Me bottle.
快起身 ! Get off me!
腳踝骨折了 你得背我走 The ankle's shattered. You'll need to carry me.
來吧 趴我肩膀上去 Come on. Get over me shoulder.
- 抱歉 - 上車 Sorry. Get in.
喂 別當路 Hey! Move away from the car.
我得給你開罰單 Soon as I've printed your ticket.
快進去 Come on.
得由你開車 You'll have to drive.
快開 不是這裡 ! Move. Not that one!
發生什麼事了 ? What happened?
算了 直接開就是 Never mind. Just get going.
大伙 這樣很危險的 ! Come on, it's dangerous!
立刻下車來 ! Get out of the car now!
別擔心 這車是防彈的 Don't worry. It's bulletproof.
- 你們打不穿的 - 別 You can't hurt us. No.
這是防彈車窗 We've got bulletproof glass.
- 啊 - 快關窗 ! Aah! Roll it up!
快關窗 ! Roll it up!
還是直接開車吧 Just go. Now.
太棒了 逃跑途中還能看比賽 Oh, great. We can watch the match while escaping.
小心 ! Watch out!
啊 ! Aah!
他被判黃牌 He's gonna take the penalty.
- 吃黃牌了 - 諾比 別看足球了行麼 There's a penalty. Nobby, forget the football.
- 你要淹死了 - 我等到 You're gonna drown. I'm getting out
- 他領了黃牌之後就下車 - 聽我說 after he's taken penalty. Listen to me.
深呼吸 Take a breath.
而他... And he...
法克 ! Fuck!
世界衛生組織局長 Director general of the world health organization,
哈維爾·阿爾瓦雷斯博士 Dr. Javier Alvarez,
已死亡 is dead.
他被捲入了一起 He was caught in the crossfire
針對慈善家朗達·喬治 of an apparent assassination attempt
的暗殺行動中 on philanthropist Rhonda George.
當局已經派了多名警察 A huge manhunt is underway
追捕這名叛逃特工 to find a rogue secret agent
他首先開槍射殺了中東的和平象徵 who first shot middle east peace symbol
洛莫·哈立迪 schlomo khalidi.
這名小孩被艾滋病感染的血液濺到了 The boy's aids-tainted blood then sprayed into the mouth
哈利·波特的扮演者 丹尼爾·拉德克利夫嘴裡 of Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe.
線人報道稱 Sources tell us that Radcliffe,
拉德克利夫的唾液 who had numerous open sores in his mouth,
已經檢測出了艾滋病毒 has tested positive for HIV.
我們已經在審查他的背景了 長官 We're digging into his background now, sir.
希望能查明 "大漩渦"是怎麼收買他的 Trying to work out how maelstrom could've got to him.
你希望我們怎麼做 長官 ? What do you want us to do, sir?
激活奇爾科特 Activate chilcott.
我們當初開除奇爾科特是有原因的 長官 Chilcott was dismissed for good reason, sir.
激活奇爾科特 Activate chilcott.
生活真是奇特啊 Isn't life strange?
昨天我還在過正常日子 I mean, yesterday I'm having a normal day
在酒吧和朋友喝酒 屁股還被塞進了煙火 down the pub with me mates with a firework up me ass.
而今天就找到我弟弟了 And here we are now, with me brother,
又是奔跑又是游泳的 doing some running and swimming,
各種各樣的有氧運動 all different types of cardio.
能問你個問題嗎 ? Can I ask you a question?
你是不是凡·迪塞爾的替身演員 ? Are you a vin diesel impersonator?
還是說 你是專門瞄準染艾滋病小孩的殺手 ? Or are you a hit man who specializes in kids with aids?
啥 ? 我是一名秘密特工 我為軍情六處的秘密小組工作 What? I'm a secret agent, I work for an offshoot of MI6.
那你怎麼之前沒告訴你哥哥我 ? How could you not tell your own brother what you do?
我剛不是才說了是"秘密"組織嗎 ? Because within the title of my occupation is the word "Secret."
可如果你連家人都不能信任 那你還能信任誰 ? But if you can't trust family, who can you trust?
信任你 ? 信任你 ? 就是因為你 Trust you? Trust you? Because of you,
世界衛生組織的局長現在死了 the head of the world health organization is dead
而哈利·波特也染上了艾滋 and Harry Potter has aids.
你3秒內取得的成就 You managed to do in three seconds
伏地魔用了8部電影的時間都沒做到 what Voldemort failed to do in eight movies.
別擔心 艾滋是可以治癒的 Don't wet your knickers. It's treatable.
噢 海洛因 Ooh, heroin.
這玩意會上癮的 That stuff's addictive. It's a gateway drug.
- 上什麼癮 ? - 海洛因癮 To what? To more heroin.
這不是海洛因 這是骨骼急速修復劑 This is not heroin, this is rapid bone calcifier.
作用是修復我腳踝的受損處 It fills the fractures in my ankle,
填滿碎裂的骨頭 好讓使用者能恢復走動 hardens the bone and muscle around it so that I can walk.
你腳踝出什麼事了 ? Why, what happened to your ankle?
你壓碎的 You fell on it.
你好 Hello.
不是我做的 I didn't do it.
我需要你的幫助 I need your help.
如果我幫你 我就會被逮捕 If I help you, I'll be arrested.
如果你不幫 那我很可能今晚就得死 If you don't, I could be dead by the end of the day.
好吧 聽著 All right, listen.
萊福德激活了一名特工 叫奇爾什麼什麼的 Ledford activated someone called chil-something.
我只知道這些 That's all I know.
"奇爾科特" ? 老天啊 他真是瘋了 Chilcott? Oh, Jesus, he's a psychopath.
- 這是追殺令 - 天啊 That's a kill order. Oh, god.
朱蒂 我需要你幫我做件事 Jodie, I need you to do something for me.
我需要你去找出殺害哈維爾·阿爾瓦雷斯 I need you to find out the identity of the man
的兇手 who killed Javier Alvarez.
如果我能找到他 我就能證明自己清白 If I can find him, it will clear my name.
你能做到嗎 ? Can you do that?
我盡力 I'll try.
小賽 我能按這紅按鈕嗎 ? Seb, can I press this red button?
- 啊 ! 操 - 怎麼了 ? Aah! God's sake. What?
你射進我脖子裡的東西是個追蹤裝置 ! You just implanted a tracking device in my neck!
至少這樣你就不會再失蹤28年了 At least I won't lose you for another 28 years.
我忘了說了 我給你準備了個禮物 I forgot to mention, I got you a present.
- 什麼 ? 這兩張門票 What? Two tickets for me and you
我們一起去智利看英國踢決賽 to go to Chile to see england play in the final.
你怎麼知道英國能進決賽 ? How do you know if england are gonna be in the final?
他們最好進去 別枉費了我特地紋的紋身 Well, they'd better be because I just got this done.
英國 2016年 "世界冠軍" England, world "Championes," 2016.
上面寫的是200016 That says 200,016.
才沒 是2016才對 No, it says 2016.
這年份還得過19萬8000年才到 That's 198,000 years from now.
既然如此 那這兩個"0"沒收我錢 我賺大發了 In that case, I got two zeroes for free, so who's the idiot?
- 你幹嘛呢 ? - 我得銷聲匿跡 What are you doing? I need to disappear.
外面有人在追捕我 There are people looking for me.
你不會再見到我了 You won't see me again.
祝你好運 諾比 Good luck, nobby.
嗯 Yeah.
好吧 你說得對 Okay. No, no, you're right.
我也該回家了 I should-- I should be heading back home anyway.
得去照顧家人 Got to see the family.
很高興和你重逢 It's good to reconnect.
你多保重 Take care, eh?
保重 Take care.
等下 既然你是間諜 Wait. Since you're a spy,
那誰也不知道我是你哥哥 ? does that mean no one knows I'm your brother?
沒錯 Exactly.
這樣的話 我給你準備了個完美的藏身地點 Well, then, I've got the perfect place for you to hide.
老天啊 Oh, no.
你能回來 Oh, it's so good
格林斯比真是太好了 to have you back in grimsby.
這裡變化這麼大 你肯定都認不出了 You probably don't recognize it since it were gentrified.
我又不是格林斯比長大的 I am not from grimsby.
嗨 Hiya.
我有個女朋友 雖然沒有正式談妥 I've got a girlfriend. It's nothing serious.
但她性感得不行 所以你最好收斂點 But she's fit as fuck, so hands to yourself.
來吧 把鞋脫了 Go on. Shoes off.
嗨 Hey.
- 我想你了 老爸 - 我也想你了 Missed you, dad. Missed you too.
我說的是"安全地點" 難道我沒表達清楚 ? Was I not clear when I said I needed a secure location?
這裡絕對安全 This place is totally secure.
不過我不知道她是誰 Although I don't know who she is.
開玩笑的 她是布蘭妮 I'm just being hilarious. That's our Britney.
要喝茶嗎 廚房還有烤肉串 You want a cup of tea? There's a kebab.
想吃什麼自己拿 You can have anything you want there.
各種存貨的廚房 It's a kitchen, fully stocked.
給我閉嘴 卡特曼 ! Shut your fucking mouth, cartman!
這是我小女兒 被解放的姜戈 And this is our new babby, django unchained.
嗨 老爸 Hey, dad.
他是誰 ? Who's that?
那是我大兒子 骷髏 That's me oldest son, skeletor.
- 嗨 - 嗨 ! Hiya. Hey!
這又是誰 又是你兒子 ? What's that, another son?
別開玩笑了 Don't be daft.
這是我孫子 江南Style That's our grandson, gangnam style.
你們好啊 Hiya.
嗨 老爸 Hi, dad.
這是盧克 And this here is Luke.
給他取這個名字是因為他得了白血病 We call him that because he's got leukemia.
真遺憾 I'm so sorry.
其實並沒有 是我們給他剃的光頭 He doesn't really. We just shave his head
好用他去領福利 so we can claim the welfare for it.
- 啥 ? - 給你說 What? You know what?
你這的禿頭可是個搖錢樹 You're looking at a gold mine up there.
每週可以領到65.4英鎊的福利 This tragedy can turn into 65 pound 40 a week.
好了 化學課結束 All right, chemistry class is over.
該上生物課了 Time for biology.
在最大的時候 母象的子宮 At its maximum, the mother's uterus
能擴張到410立方厘米 expands to 25 cubic feet.
- 這是誰 ? - 他是誰 ? Who's this? Who's that?
- 就這個光頭男 他是誰 ? - 傑森 The other bald man. Who's this? Jason.
- 他才是傑森 - 我是傑森 He's Jason. I'm Jason.
我有11個小孩 要記住全部人可不容易好嗎 I've got 11 kids. Not easy to remember them all.
- 啊 ! - 他不叫塞巴斯蒂安 Aah! His name is not Sebastian,
你們只需要知道這點就夠了 and that's all you need to know.
你上哪找到他的啊 老爸 ? 居然是科迪叔叔 What the fuck are you on about, dad? It's uncle coddy.
讓我們抱抱 Give us a hug.
不敢相信真的是你 I can't believe it's you.
歡迎回到格林斯比 Welcome back to grimsby.
他們是你的家人 這些都是你的侄子和侄女 They're your family. Those are your nephews and nieces.
- 他們怎麼知道我是誰 ? - 這幾年來 How do they know who I am? I might've mentioned you
我提到過你幾次 couple of times over the years.
"幾次?" 給他看看你的紀念牆 老爸 "Couple of times"? I'll show him your wall, dad.
這是你小時候的照片 There's you as a kid.
- 快跑 ! - 你們這群小混球 Leg it! You little bastards.
把球還給我 ! Give me back me ball!
滾粗 Fuck off.
諾比 快把球傳過來 Nobby. Pass us the ball. Come on.
- 快傳球 - 他要進球了 Pass it. He's gonna score.
- 英國要贏決賽了 - 諾比 射門 ! England's gonna win the final. Nobby, shoot!
噢... Oh...
早安 警官 Morning, officer.
諾比·布徹 以及 塞巴斯蒂安·布徹 Nobby and Sebastian butcher.
我們正準備把球拿去 We were trying to return that beautiful ball
還給失主 to its rightful owner.
不是球的事 小伙子們 It's not about the ball, lads.
快看 小賽 那就是要領養我們的夫妻 Look, seb. That's the couple that's adopting us.
他們是從倫敦來的 They're from London.
你會和我一起去的 對吧 諾比 ? You're coming with me. Right, nobby?
當然 Of course.
我永遠不會離開我弟弟 I'd never leave my little brother.
傷心很正常的 It's all right to be sad.
但絕對不能站在這裡 But it's not all right to stand there and whinge
哭得沒個人樣 like a low mopey bastard.
我們是誰 ? 說出來 Who are we? Come on, say it.
我們是格林斯比的布徹兄弟 We're butcher boys of grimsby.
我沒聽見 大聲點 I didn't hear you. Say it again.
我們是格林斯比的布徹兄弟 We're the fucking butcher boys of grimsby.
他們永遠別想拆散我們 They'll never split us up.
- 永遠 ! - 永遠 ! Forever! Forever!
總之 你們叔叔肯定不想再看這些 Anyway, your uncle don't want to look at pictures
以前的老照片了 對吧 ? of me and him all day, do you?
- 是的 - 啥 ? No. What?
不想 No.
好吧 來吧 All right. Come on.
大家來看看我在倫敦旅遊的照片 Let's take a look at me travel photos of London.
大家都來 都擠擠 都擠擠 Come on, everyone. Come on, squeeze up, squeeze up.
這是"七天酒店" 這是"如家酒店" This is the Norfolk arms. This is the dog and duck.
這是"漢庭酒店" This is the three crowns.
而這是查理十字警察局 And this is charing cross police station.
那群蠢豬 Fucking pigs.
這是我在喝冰鎮酒 This is me with some free booze.
而這是我用手指插進了非洲小男孩的屁股 And this is me with me finger up an African boy's ass.
等下 倒退一下 給我看看 Wait a minute. Go back. Let me see.
他就是刺客 It's the assassin.
聽著 倫敦是很好玩 但我很想你們 Listen, London were fab. But I missed you lot.
- 我們也想你了 - 我們也想你了 老爸 Missed you too. Missed you too, dad.
接吧 Answer it.
遵命 長官 Yes, sir.
你好 ? Hello?
萊福德在盯著你 對吧 ? Ledford's watching you, isn't he?
說"嗨 爸爸" Say, "Hi, daddy."
嗨 爸爸 Hi, daddy.
啊 Aww.
看看你的郵箱 Check your e-mail.
查出他是誰 Find out who that is.
你得進入全球面部識別數據庫 You'll have to access the global facial recognition grid.
我怎麼進 ? And how am I going to do that?
自己想 Figure it out.
- 嗨 - 不會是我的一生摯愛唐妮吧 ? Hiya. That the love of me life, dawny?
- 難道是我親愛的諾比 ? - 我回來了 Is that my darling nobby? I'm back.
- 我想死你了 - 我也是 I missed you so much. Me too.
好了 孩子們快出去 All right, kids. Out. Now.
聽媽媽的話 趕緊出去 Out. Listen to your mum. Out quick.
我有很重要的事要給爸爸說 I got something very important that I need to tell your dad.
什麼事 ? What is it?
我內褲丟了 I lost me panties.
你確定不是被你屁股夾進去了 ? You sure your ass hasn't eaten them again?
不是 你個白癡 我是直接沒穿 No, you daft twat. I didn't put any on.
我直接看硬了 Ooh, I'm getting stiffer than a pedophile at legoland.
快看 我完全 Oh, look. I'm exactly like
"第六感追緝令"裡的莎倫·史泰龍一樣 Sharon Stallone in basic instincts.
別擔心 Don't worry.
不是從菊花裡放出來的 That didn't come out me bum.
噢 Oh.
這個才是 That one did.
- 沒問題 - 快過來 No problem. Get over here.
我知道你肯定想要了 I know you must be gagging for it.
- 好的 - 快來 諾比 All right. Come here, nobby.
- 嘿 - 怎麼 ? Hey. What?
我想吃本市特色早餐 I'm hungry for a grimsby breakfast.
自己動手豐衣足食 Well, the buffet's open.
我預約一個人的位置 I'll need a table for one.
你就只能吃這麼點 It's all-you-can-eat.
60分鐘後見 See you in about 60 minutes.
快來吧 Get going.
- 咳 諾比 - 噢 Ahem, nobby. Oh.
這是我酒友 本·金斯利（英國男演員） That's me darts partner, um...Ben Kingsley.
諾比 你覺得我傻嗎 ? Nobby, what do you take me for?
我知道他是誰 他是你弟弟 I know who that is. That's your brother.
這麼多年你都跑哪去了 ? Where the fuck you been all these years?
我之前在忙 順帶一提 恭喜了 產期是什麼時候 ? I've been busy. Congratulations, by the way. When are you due?
噢 我沒懷孕 我只是胖而已 Oh, I'm not pregnant. I'm just fucking fat.
- 諾比 - 嗯 ? - Nobby. - What?
我的位置必須保密才行 It's imperative no one know that I'm here.
你需要一個周圍沒人的隔絕空間對吧 ? You need somewhere isolated where there's no one around?
- 完全沒錯 - 好吧 Exactly. All right.
我知道有個地方 I know just the place.
就這邊 路過火車站 It's just this way, past the train station.
- 915車乘客請快上車 - 格林斯比到倫敦 - All aboard the 915, - grimsby to London.
進去吧 In you go.
你覺得新父母會讓我們 Do you think our new parents will let us sleep
睡在同一間屋裡嗎 ? in the same room?
如果是雙層床 我能睡上面嗎 ? If we have bunk beds, can I have the top?
上面給你吧 小子 You can have the top, little man.
現在快去撒泡尿 免得被別人搶先了 Go and have a pee now before the other passengers do.
好的 哥哥 Okay, bruv.
- 額 塞巴斯蒂安... - 怎麼了 ? And Sebastian... What is it?
沒什麼 Nothing.
諾比 ? Nobby?
諾比 ? 諾比 ? Nobby? Nobby?
諾比 ? 諾比 ? 你有沒有見到我哥哥 ? Nobby? Nobby? Have you seen me brother, nobby?
諾比 你在哪 ? Nobby, where are you? Nobby!
不 ! 諾比 ! No! Nobby!
快回來 ! Come back!
快回來 諾比 ! Come back, nobby!
小賽 快走吧 Sebbo. Come on.
我知道 過去的美好歷歷在目 對吧 ? I know. It's great to be back, isn't it?
到了 就這裡面 Here we go. Just in here.
你確定這個地方很安全 ? You sure this location is secure?
放鬆點 相信你哥哥 Relax. Trust your brother.
驚喜 ! Surprise!
快停下 小賽 ! No, no! Seb! Come on, no.
他們是我們朋友 No, they're our folk.
歡迎回家 Welcome home.
沒人應該知道我在這裡才對 Nobody's supposed to know I'm here.
確實沒人知道啊 No one does know you're here.
可這夥人不就知道 These people know I'm here.
- 你們知道他在這裡 ? - 不知道 ! - Do you know he's here? - No!
我們到了 We are here.
幹得好 奇爾科特 Good work, chilcott.
你怎麼找到他的 ? How did you find him?
就當是職業直覺吧 Let's just call it professional intuition.
什麼味道 ? What's that smell?
是我 米爾基·皮姆斯 That's me. Milky pimms.
我在碼頭工作 Oh. I work our docks.
我們把"使命召喚"運往全世界 We transport COD all over the world.
引人入勝 Fascinating.
有什麼事嗎 ? Can I help you?
奇爾科特 讓開 Chilcott. Move.
怎麼了 ? What is it?
老天啊 我被圍住了 Oh, god, I'm cornered.
我真不該獨自前來的 I should never have come here alone.
你在格林斯比永遠不孤獨 老弟 You're never alone in grimsby, bruv.
夥計們 Lads. Lads.
看見外面那群蠢貨了嗎 ? See those blokes out there?
他們是曼徹斯特聯隊的球迷 Those are Manchester united supporters.
這些蠢貨居然敢跑來這裡囂張 ? How dare those twats show up here?
拖住他們 我向你保證 我會一把火燒了你學校 Delay them. I promise I'll burn your school down.
不上學萬歲 ! No school! Come on.
拿上桌球 ! Get the ball!
- 我們上 小子們 - 他們有槍 ! - Let's go, lads. - They've got guns!
打擾下 先生 你好像掉東西了 Excuse me, sir. I think you dropped something.
掉什麼了 ? Dropped what?
這裡可是格林斯比 渣渣 ! You're in grimsby now, you git!
你覺得我不敢殺你嗎 ? 小混球 Do you think I'll hesitate to kill you? Little bastard.
就現在 ! Now!
桑傑夫 就現在 ! Sanjiv, now!
進魚廠 這邊 Fish factory, this way.
進魚廠 快走 Come on, fish factory. Go there.
快進去 Quick. In there. Let's go.
啊 ! Aah!
小賽 Seb.
你幹了什麼好事 ? 你把他殺死了 What have you done? You've killed him.
諾比 你做什麼呢 ? Nobby, what are you doing?
我讓他死得體面些 I'm showing some respect for the dead.
給 夥計 There you go, mate.
- 諾比 - 什麼 ? Nobby! What?
- 過來 - 怎麼了 ? Get over here. What is it?
我需要你幫忙吸我肩上的傷口 I need you to suck this wound in my shoulder.
不不不 我可不舔男人的肩膀 No, no, no, I don't put my lips on another man's shoulder.
- 太基了 - 趕緊的 That's very gay. Do it now.
在格林斯比 人們只要 People have been chucked out of grimsby
敢點全素早餐 都會被趕出去 for ordering a vegetarian breakfast.
這顆子彈裡含有lonomia毛毛蟲的毒液 That pellet was filled with lonomia caterpillar toxin.
你不吸出來的話 我90秒內就會死 I'll be dead in 90 seconds if you don't suck it out.
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay.
用力點 Suck hard.
就這樣 That's it.
別把毒液吞進去了 Don't swallow the poison.
趕緊吐出來 And now spit it out.
- 幹得好 - 讚美太陽 Well done. Praise the lord.
我還以為我要失去你了 弟弟 I thought I'd lost you, brother.
- 我愛你 - 諾比 I love you so much. Nobby.
- 什麼 ? - 我另一個部位也被擊中了 What? I've been hit somewhere else.
哪 ? Where?
我才不吸那裡 絕對不行 I'm not falling for that one. No way.
不行... 你幹嘛 ? No, you don't-- what are you doing?
你幹嘛脫褲子 ? No, why are you taking those off?
毒液是從左邊睪丸葉進入的 The toxin's coursing through the left lobule of my teste.
經由精液和淋巴管通往我的腎臟 快吸 Up the spermatic plexus to my kidneys. Suck it.
呼 ! Whoo!
耶穌說過 As Jesus said,
"別給自己兄弟口交" "Thou shalt not suck off your own fucking brother."
快吸 要不然我60秒內就會死 Do it, or I'll be dead in 60 seconds.
我傻乎乎的找了你30年 I've been searching for you for almost 30 year.
其實上Grindr(同性戀交友網站)的話 2分鐘就能找到了 I could've found you in two minutes on grindr.
選一個吧 要不吸我蛋蛋 要不看著我死 Choose. You can suck my scrotum or you can let me die.
好吧 Okay.
你想讓我刻什麼在你墓碑上 ? What would you like written on your gravestone?
快給我吸 ! Suck my balls!
喔 ! Whoa!
我只剩40秒了 I have less than 40 seconds.
好吧 All right.
這是為了老爸 This is for dad.
快吸 用力吸 Suck it. Suck harder.
吸出來吐掉 Suck and spit.
吸出來吐掉 吸出來吐掉 Suck and spit. Suck and spit.
毒液傳播太快了 我得用上體位才行 It's traveling too fast. I need to be on top.
來這邊 Over here.
啥 ? 不行 我才不玩Teabag(一種玩法) What? No. I draw the line at teabagging.
得趕緊搖出來 Must shake this out.
根本沒起作用 It's not working.
科迪 Coddy.
科迪 別死啊 科迪 Coddy, don't go. Coddy.
我失去了你一次 I've lost you once.
我不能再次失去你 I refuse to lose you again.
噢 ! Oh!
好了 That's it.
- 我們做到了 - 你做到了 We did it. You did it.
我們做到... We did--
你居然射我臉 you just came on me face.
最多只是射精前的透明液體而已 It was a trickle of pre-ejaculate at most.
成熟點吧 Grow up.
我想像能有一天人們不用再活在困難當中 I envision a day when people won't have to live like this.
人們不再會被貧困壓垮 A day when poverty will be eradicated.
我知道這一天是有可能實現的 And I know it's possible.
長官 我們有線索了 Sir, we've got something.
用力吸 吸出來吐掉 Suck harder. Suck and spit.
你找到什麼新線索了 馬巴爾 ? So, what's this new intelligence, marber?
我們查到了格雷夫的同夥 是他哥哥 We've identified the partner, sir. He's graves' brother.
- 哥哥 ? - 凱爾·阿倫·布徹爾 Brother? Kyle Alan butcher,
也被稱作 諾比·布徹爾 a.K.A. Nobby butcher.
肯定是"大漩渦"的間諜吧 A maelstrom sleeper, no doubt.
只是個勞動階級流氓而已 Just some working-class scum.
找出並殺了他們 Find them and kill them.
遵命 長官 Yes, sir.
我找到殺手了 I found the assassin.
他叫帕維爾·盧卡申科 他正前往南非途中 He's pavel lukashenko. He's on route to South Africa.
很好 Good.
還有 他們查到你哥哥了 Yeah. And they know about your brother.
沒問題 我正準備甩開他 No problem. I'm about to ditch him.
聽著 Listen.
如果他被抓到 他和他家人都會被殺 They'll kill him and his family too if they catch him.
你真希望害死你哥哥嗎 ? Do you really want your brother to die?
快忘掉 Forget it.
聽著 我得找你那朋友聊聊 Look, I need to talk to your friend.
叫啥來這 米爾基 ? Uh, what--? Milky?
那個運魚的 ? The fish travel agent?
怎麼 你想讓他也給你吸吸 ? What, so you can gob-rape him too?
你個禽獸 You monster.
不是 No.
我們要去南非了 We're going to South Africa.
真的 ? Really?
我要和我弟弟去度假了 I'm going on holiday with me babby brother.
全球矚目的半決賽正在上演 It's a semifinal that has become gripped by tension.
球權在英國腳上 正進行最後一次進攻 And england to have the ball. Time for one last attack, baby.
- 加油 斯特林 - 球傳到了斯特林腳上 Come on, Sterling. The ball's broken for Sterling.
- 射門啊 - 拉西姆·斯特林穿過去了 Get in there. Raheem Sterling's through.
拉西姆·斯特林為英國射門得分 ! And raheem Sterling scores for england!
這一球奠定了英國 That surely puts england
前往智利參加決賽的資格 into the final in Chile.
加油 ! Here we go!
一口老痰吐你們臉上 ! We spit on your face!
加油 ! 加油 ! Here we go! Here we go!
諾比 他們在打齊克·斯丹頓 Nobby. They're beating up Zeke Stanton.
納粹混蛋 ! Nazi bastard!
- 入侵足球場 ! - 入侵足球場 ! Pitch invasion! Pitch invasion!
- 納粹混球 ! - 干死他們 ! - Nazi scum! - Let's get them!
- 快走 - 耶 ! - Come on. - Yeah!
比賽結束 英國將前往智利參加決賽 That's it. England are going to the final in Chile.
- 朱蒂 - 嗨 爸爸 Jodie. Hi, daddy.
別再這樣叫了 感覺挺變態的 No, no, stop doing that now. It's weird.
我發現盧卡申科的位置了 I've discovered where lukashenko is.
我追蹤到了他的位置 克魯格公園的灌木旅社 I tracked him to the tshukaru bush lodge in kruger park.
他在跟一個叫約裡斯·斯密特的化學家會面 He's meeting up with a biochemist called joris smit.
"大漩渦"很顯然在買他的什麼產品 Maelstrom are clearly buying something from him.
這人目前和他妻子 麗娜·斯密特 一起住在酒店裡 He's currently in a hotel room with Lina smit, his wife,
他妻子以亂交聞名 famed for her promiscuity.
你得從她那下手 可能得獻身勾引她才行 You need to find out from her. You may need to seduce her.
你也知道 為了英國 我在所不辭 Well, as you know, I'll do anything for england.
給我在旅社預定一個房間 Book me a room at the lodge.
已經定好了 你的化名叫謝爾頓先生 I have done. Your alias is Mr. Shelton.
- 嘿 英國佬 - 幹嘛 ? Hey, English. What?
我有用來慶祝的好東西 I have something for you to celebrate:
全非洲最棒的海洛因 好好享受吧 The best heroin in Africa. Enjoy.
說出來很丟臉 我從沒試過海洛因 I'm embarrassed to say I've never actually tried any before.
- 你絕對喜歡的 - 聽著 You'll like it. Listen,
我很希望能和你保持聯繫 I'd love to stay in touch.
- 你有E-mail之類的嗎 ? - Linkedin(商務社交網站) Are you on e-mail or...? Linkedin.
賬號是 tabansinyaguraheroindealer15 It is tabansinyaguraheroindealer15.
什麼 Yes.
你剛和誰說話呢 ? Who's that you were talking to?
我新朋友 塔班西 That is me new mate, tabansi.
他在南非搞運輸 He flies to and from south America
在菊花裡藏毒品乘飛機 with drugs rammed up his bottom.
不這麼做就只能犯一輩子罪 It's either that or a life of crime.
諾比 Nobby.
我得出去幾小時 I'll be gone for a couple of hours.
為啥 ? 你去做什麼 ? Why? What are you up to?
我要去見個人 查清盧卡申科來這裡的目的 I'm meeting someone to find out why lukashenko came here.
你就好好待在這裡 懂沒 ? You stay here, understood?
不 Oh, no.
我好像把我倆的針管搞混了 I think I might've mixed up our needles.
老天啊 Oh, my god.
你注射了海洛因可執行不了秘密任務 You can't do a secret mission on heroin.
別擔心 Not to worry, all right?
把間諜任務交給你哥哥就行 Just leave the spying to your brother.
塞巴斯蒂安 ? Sebastian?
不是 他在沙發上躺著 No, he's currently on couch,
揉自己奶玩呢 smacked off his tits.
你是誰 ? Who is this?
我是他哥哥 諾比 I'm his brother, nobby.
我能幫什麼忙嗎 ? Can I help?
諾比 你得好好聽著 Nobby, I need you to listen to me.
你得代替他執行任務 You are going to have to take his place.
你得前往梅特蘭車站 You need to head to maitland station.
然後你會見到一個來自灌木旅社的司機 There, you'll meet a driver from tshukaru bush lodge.
見到他之後 你的化名叫謝爾頓先生 When you meet him, your alias is Mr. Shelton.
聽懂了沒 ? Did you get that?
我現在就傳信息到你隱形眼鏡上 I'll send the information to your lens.
糟了 快把門打開 ! Oh, no. Open the door!
把門打開 ! Open the door!
好的 你得進酒店去 找到麗娜·斯密特 然後勾引她 Okay, you need to head inside, find Lina smit and seduce her.
什麼 背著唐妮偷情 ? 絕對不行 What, and cheat on dawny? Never.
你得勾引她 然後查出 You need to seduce her in order to find out
她丈夫賣了什麼給盧卡申科 what lukashenko bought from her husband.
好吧 Okay.
你見到麗娜·斯密特沒 ? Can you see Lina smit?
她很顯眼的 She's easy to spot.
她穿著一條綠裙子 而且她是個大美人 She's wearing a green dress, and she's absolutely gorgeous.
噢 不 Oh, no.
她的確是個大美人 She is gorgeous.
找到了 ? Got her?
沒錯 Bingo.
我得掛了 記住 表現得深沉點 I've got to go. Remember, act sophisticated.
你好啊 小野貓 Hello, pussycat.
我叫... The name is...
謝爾頓 Shelton.
M.R 謝爾頓 M.R. Shelton.
我在到處找你 I've been looking for you.
你想讓我清掃房間 ? You want room clean?
清掃房間 ? Room clean?
嗯 沒錯 "清掃房間" Yeah. Yes. "Room clean."
從上到下都清理乾淨 From top to bottom.
我住在23號 I'm in 23.
但是你和我一起的話 我們能玩到69號 But together, we could make it 69.
好吧 我一會就來 Okay. I come soon.
快啊 Come on.
啊 ! Ugh!
下午好 Good afternoon.
你好 我這裡有緊急情況 褐色代碼 Hello. There's an emergency. It's a code brown.
褐色代碼 ? A code brown, sir?
我把廁所堵了 I've blocked the toiletry.
你能盡快派個人上來麼 謝謝 Could you send somebody up as soon as you can, please?
好的 謝爾頓先生 Okay, Mr. Shelton.
我馬上派人來 I will send you assistance.
塞巴斯蒂安到了 Sebastian graves is here.
去他的房間勾引他 Go to his room and seduce him.
我馬上來 I'll be there soon.
太好了 維修工來了 Oh, good. Maintenance is here.
謝爾頓先生 Mr. Shelton.
你們這的員工真夠快的 That is really fast service.
我才剛掛電話呢 I only just called down.
謝謝你這麼快就來了 Thank you for coming so quickly.
希望我能滿足你 I hope I can reciprocate.
好吧 Yeah.
總之 跟我來吧 Anyway, uh, follow me.
就這裡面 開始工作吧 Uh, ahem, come on. In here. Let's do this.
你平時可不會選這裡 Not your usual place to do it.
什麼 ? 為啥 ? What? Why?
我平時會選哪 ? Where did you expect me to do it?
床上 In the bed.
床上 ? 我又不是動物 In the-- in the bed? I'm not an animal.
我都有5周沒在床上拉過了 I haven't done one in a bed for over five weeks.
我們趕緊開工好嗎 我直接指給你看吧 ? Let's be quick with this. Shall I show it to you?
我怎麼知道 你給我看之後 How do I know that when I see it,
我不會瘋狂的愛上你 ? I won't fall madly in love with you?
這可能性並不高 There's really not much danger of that.
很大坨的 It's enormous.
我喜歡那樣的 All the better.
有多硬 ? How hard is it?
好吧 Well, okay.
讓我想想 額... Let me try and remember. Um...
頂上十分硬 I mean, the top of it is, you know, very hard.
而且弄得我很痛 Actually, painfully so.
嗯 Mmm.
然後中間是半硬 Then kind of medium soft.
然後到了最後 又變得非常硬 And at the base of it, really hard again.
要不要我給你說說我準備怎麼做 ? Now, should I tell you what I'm gonna do with it?
不了 No.
我會用手拿起來 I'm gonna take it in my hand.
- 全部拿起來 - 好吧 All of it. Right.
真是不尋常 That's very unusual.
是的 Yeah.
然後我拿嘴去親 And then I'm gonna kiss it.
拿嘴去親 ? Gonna kiss it?
然後就全放進嘴裡去 And I'm gonna put all of it in my mouth.
簡直比"兩女一杯"還噁心(好孩子別去搜) This is worse than 2 girls and 1 cup.
我打賭肯定是草莓味的 I bet it tastes like strawberries.
我向你保證 絕對是清真烤肉串的味道 And I bet you that it tastes of kebab with extra curry sauce.
聽著 你這人真夠重口的 Listen. You're a total fucking weirdo, right?
呆在這裡 絕對別出來 Just stay in here and do not come out.
好的 Okay.
又見面了 So we meet again.
請進吧 Please, come in.
好吧 Okay.
你幹嘛呢 ? 叫個傭人擦桌子就行了 What are you doing? Let someone else do that.
請原諒我離開一下 Please excuse me for one moment.
你幹嘛呢 ? What the hell are you doing?
我在給自己做準備 I'm getting myself ready.
噓 ! 聽著 我懂的 Shh! Listen, I get it.
你不想把褐色染料弄到衣服上去 You don't wanna get any brown shrapnel on your clothes.
褐色染料 ? Brown-- brown shrapnel?
就這個 This.
看到沒 ? 硬 軟 硬 You see? Hard, soft, hard.
祝你成功 May the best man win.
- 我要去修廁所了 - 別別別 - I go in there now. - No, no, no.
我們認識一下吧 Let's get acquainted.
有沒有人告訴過你 Has anyone ever told you
你是個非常美麗的女人 ? that you're a very beautiful woman?
你是上帝在這"綠色地球"上 You are the most beautiful thing
創造出的最美的人 to ever walk the lord's green earth.
我們收到了格雷夫眼鏡裡傳來的信號 長官 We're getting signal from graves' lens, sir.
放到屏幕上 Put it up.
是什麼情況 ? So, what are we looking at?
老天啊 格雷夫 Good god, graves.
烏 ! Whoo!
盧卡申科為什麼和你丈夫會面 ? Why did lukashenko meet your husband?
能放大那個招牌麼 ? Can you zoom in on that stationery?
把坐標發給奇爾科特 Send the coordinates to chilcott.
你寧願上女傭 也不上我 ? You'd rather make love to a maid than me?
女傭 ? Maid?
巴努 出去 ! Banu, out!
對不起 斯密特夫人 Sorry, Mrs. Smit.
斯密特夫人 ? Mrs. Smit?
出去 巴努 ! Get out, banu!
真對不起 I'm so sorry. Sorry.
現在 讓我給你看看 我有多狂野 Now, let me show you how wild this animal can be.
你真以為我會讓你睡我老婆嗎 格雷夫先生 ? Did you really think I'd let you sleep with my wife, Mr. Graves?
沒 不過話又說回來 我也沒想到 No. But then again, I never thought
她會用衣架給我通大便 that she'd chop up me poo with a coat hanger.
再見了 塞巴斯蒂安·格雷夫 Goodbye, Sebastian graves.
他可不是我 That's not Sebastian graves.
- 你沒事吧 ? - 嗯 You okay? Yeah.
海洛因效果如何 ? How was the heroin?
比想像中還爽 Better than expected.
盧卡申科找你丈夫做什麼 ? Why did lukashenko meet your husband?
"大漩渦"在計劃什麼 ? What are maelstrom planning?
我不知道 I don't know.
小賽 別 Seb, don't.
別太往心裡去了 美人 他見人就殺的 Don't take it personal, love. He kills everyone.
因為他小時候常尿床 It's because he used to wet the bed.
- 這事很重要 得告訴她才行 - 根本不重要 It's important she knows. It's not important.
對於那個常年睡在你下鋪的小男孩很重要 Well, it was important to the boy on the bunk under you
我經常被上鋪的尿滴到身上 who used to get dripped on at night.
趕緊辦正事 Get on with it.
把你知道的事告訴我們 Just tell us what you know,
他就讓你活命 and he'll let you live.
說吧 Come on.
盧卡申科從我丈夫那買了某種病毒 Lukashenko bought some kind of virus.
準備什麼時候使用 ? When is he gonna use it?
明天 Tomorrow.
他們準備在哪釋放病毒 ? Where are they gonna release the virus?
他們... They'll--
趴下 ! get down!
趴下 ! Stay down!
是奇爾科特 快跑 It's chilcott. Move!
快來 ! Come on!
快跑 Come on. Run.
根本無處可躲 There's nowhere to hide.
- 我有主意了 - 真不錯 I got an idea. Oh, great.
到目前為止 你的主意 Because your ideas have netted nothing
全都是幫倒忙 but gold up to this point.
你得跟著我 You're gonna follow me
然後服從你老哥的命令 and do exactly what your big brother says.
- 趕緊的 ! - 走吧 Hurry! Come on.
他們去哪了 ? Where'd they go?
- 剛剛還在這的 - 散開 They were just here. Spread out.
找出他們 Find them.
老天啊 噁心死了 Oh, god, this is disgusting.
長官 快來看看 Sir, take a look at this!
- 看看他們走沒 - 等我爬出去 - Check if they've gone. - I'm trying to.
看到什麼了 ? 他們走沒 ? What can you see? They've gone?
周邊已安全 The coast is clear.
太好了 我們出去吧 Good. Let's get out of here.
不 Oh, no.
我操啊 ! Oh, fuck me!
做好準備 小賽 ! Brace yourself, seb!
快放開他 ! Get off him!
快抬開 啊 ! Get it off me. Aah!
公象性交能長達3小時 The male can fuck for up to three hours.
我們得給它擼出來 We have to make it come.
我在動物世界裡看過 I saw it on the BBC.
你負責丁丁 我負責蛋蛋 You work the shaft, and I'll cradle the balls.
我脖子都要被頂斷了 It's gonna break my neck.
我抓到了 I got them.
加油 小賽 你能行的 Come on, sebbo. You can do it.
我已經在擼了 ！ I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
- 用舌頭舔它尿孔 - 別說蠢話 Put your tongue in the peehole. Don't be stupid.
好像起作用了 好像起作用了 I think we're in business. I think we're in business.
快射啊 Come on. Come on.
老天啊 Oh, god.
噁心死了 ! That is revolting!
哈庫娜瑪塔塔 Hakuna matata.
幹得好 Well done.
我要吐了 I think I'm gonna be sick.
這最多只是射精前的透明液體而已 It's a trickle of pre-ejaculate at most.
成熟點吧 Grow up.
去看看周邊安全沒 See if the coast is clear.
- 不 - 怎麼了 ? Oh, no. What? What is it?
這是大象群交 It's an elephant bukkake party.
快拔出去 Get it out.
我菊花要被頂破了 It's breaking me asshole.
要不了多久了 Not much longer now.
- 做好準備 ! 啊 ! - 不 ! Brace yourself! Aah! No!
好了 All right.
你還好吧 ? Are you okay?
我一點都不好 No, I'm not okay.
我剛拉的屎都是白色的 I just did an entirely white poo.
你得清洗乾淨 進來吧 You need to get cleaned up. Get in.
我菊花沒事吧 ? Is me ass okay?
啊 ? Huh?
嗯 沒什麼事 一點都沒事 Yeah, it's good. It's really good.
這是你蛋蛋 ? Are those your bollocks?
你右邊蛋蛋被人親出吻痕了 Someone's given you a hickey on your right nut.
是你弄的 That was you.
噢 Oh.
是朱蒂 It's Jodie.
把她娶了吧 She could be your missus.
不行 我受不了只有一個女人 No, I could never be with one woman.
那你就錯過了生命中最棒的禮物 Well, you're missing out on the greatest gift in life:
家人 Family.
我家人給我的唯一禮物就是背叛 The only gift I ever got from my family was betrayal.
你當初為什麼下車了 ? Why did you do it?
已經不重要了 It doesn't matter.
不重要 ? It doesn't matter?
我才6歲 你卻把我拋棄了 You abandoned me when I was 6.
告訴我原因 Now, why?
我們已經做出決定了 We have made our decision.
我們決定領養其中一個孩子 羅斯利先生 We've decided we can take one of the brothers, Mr. Lowsley.
可格雷夫先生 格雷夫女士 他倆形影不離 But Mr. And Mrs. Graves, these boys are inseparable.
這樣會傷碎他們心的 而且會有有非常不好的影響 It would break their hearts, and affect them both very badly.
我們已經做出決定了 This is the decision we have come to.
但這樣的話 其中一人就只能 But that would leave one of the brothers
待在格林斯比的收養所了 in the foster system in grimsby.
那可不是小孩該待的地方 It's no place for a boy.
他在那裡絕對沒有未來 He'll have no future here.
快上車了 ! All aboard!
諾比 ! nobby!
有沒有見到我哥哥諾比 ? Have you seen me brother nobby?
諾比 ! Nobby!
不 ! 諾比 ! No! Nobby!
快回來 諾比 ! Come back, nobby!
老天啊 Oh, my god.
所以當初我有可能會像你一樣 ? So I could have had your life?
沒錯 That's right.
而我主動退出了 And you could have had mine.
諾比... Nobby...
我... I...
真對不起 I am so sorry.
等下 Wait.
我倆的丁丁好像撞上了 I think our penises just fist-bumped.
快分開 Disengage.
- 你得集中精力 對吧 ? - 對 You need to focus, right? Yeah.
你得查清楚"大漩渦"明天 You need to find out where maelstrom
準備在哪引爆炸彈 are planning to blow up tomorrow.
而我得找間酒館看決賽 And I need to find a pub to watch the final in.
- 等下 沒錯 - 他們要炸掉太陽 Hold on. That's it. They're gonna blow up the sun.
不對 他們準備炸掉智利的決賽 No, they're planning to bomb the final in Chile.
- 啥 ? - 我們得怎麼在 What? How are we supposed to get
12小時內飛大半個地球啊 ? halfway around the world in 12 hours
而且全球的情報機構都在追殺我 with the entire global intelligence community
我們絕對沒機會的 trying to kill me? We'll never make it.
我找了你28年 I searched for you for 28 years.
我可不相信"絕對" I do not believe in never.
這就是Linkedin的魅力 That's the beauty of linkedin.
嘿 夥計 Hey, nobb-man.
就你哥哥這"卑鄙的我"的打扮 How is your brother going to blend in
是準備怎麼混入 with those football hooligans
足球流氓團體裡啊 ? looking like the guy from despicable me?
英國 ! England!
英國和德國粉絲們 English and German fans
過去幾天來 都已經聚集到了 have been arriving here in Santiago
聖地亞哥(智利首都) throughout the last few days.
這裡是一個特別適合 Looks like the perfect place
前來觀看自己國家隊比賽的地方 to come and watch your national team play
而且獎金已經打破了全世界足球 for what is ultimately the greatest prize
最高紀錄 in world football.
不愧是世界級運動 This is a truly international occasion.
我們看到了唐納德·特朗普(逗比美國總統競選人) We've seen Donald trump.
螢幕巨星 丹尼爾·拉德克利夫也來了 Star of stage and screen, Daniel Radcliffe is here.
中東和平象徵 洛莫·哈立迪也來了 Middle east peace symbol schlomo khalidi,
他看上去氣色好多了 looking much better, is here too.
人們大喊著揮舞著國旗 So much color and noise.
而且比賽結束後還有更精彩的一幕 And there will be plenty of both at the end of the match,
最終的哨響將會點燃 because the final whistle will trigger
據說是運動史上最華麗的 what we are told will be the biggest firework display
煙火表演 ever seen at a sporting event.
我們還小的時候 When we was kids,
你有沒有想過我們居然能一起來看世界盃決賽 ? did you ever think that we'd end up going to the final together?
我確實想過 哥哥 Yes, I did, brother.
諾比 ! Nobby!
- 不 - 驚喜 ! No. Surprise!
噢 ! Oh!
我想死你了 I missed you so much.
嘿 我們最喜歡的間諜 ! Hey. Our favorite spy!
他是軍情六處的王牌 ! He's MI6's finest!
安靜點 Keep quiet.
這裡沒什麼好看的 ! Nothing to see!
街上有騷動 長官 There's a commotion, sir.
靠近點 Get in closer.
格雷夫 Graves.
- 諾比 - 喂 我馬上回來 科迪 ! Nobby. Hey. I'll be back. Coddy!
等等 諾比 ! Wait. Nobby!
我們走 Let's go.
小賽 ? 小賽 ? Sebbo? Sebbo?
小賽 ! Sebbo!
喂 ! Oi!
小賽 ! Seb!
找到了 Got you.
這是什麼地方啊 ? What is this place?
老天啊 Oh, my god.
"大漩渦"居然是賣淫集團 Maelstrom are sex traffickers.
聽我說 你們快跑 Listen to me. You've gotta get out
要不然他們會把你們拿去拍賣掉 before they sell you to the highest bidder.
快跑 快跑啊 Get out. Get out now. Out.
快跑 安靜點 你們不必過這種生活 Out. Shh! Quiet. You don't have to live like this.
快跑 快跑 Get out. Out. Get out.
重新拾起你們的自尊 Regain your dignity. Out.
小賽 Seb.
"強姦犯"(連讀是理療師) "The rapist."
喂 Hey.
沒人能爆我弟弟菊花 Nobody buggers me brother.
男人的精液承受量是有限的 A man can only take so much jizz.
離他遠點 ! Get off him!
啊 ! Aah!
等下 Wait.
你不是小賽 You're not seb.
你肯定冷死了 You must be freezing.
是你 You.
很高興見到你 塞巴斯蒂安 Pleasure to meet you, Sebastian.
我能理解你為什麼想殺 I could understand why you might want to kill
世界衛生組織的局長 the head of the world health organization.
但為什麼要炸世界盃 ? Why bomb the final?
炸 ? Bomb?
根本沒炸彈 There is no bomb.
是傳播疾病 It's a disease.
一種名字叫RD-9的病毒 It's a virus called rd-9.
我比較喜歡稱其為 "世界靈藥" Or as I like to call it, worldcure.
比賽結束後 At the end of the game,
球場裡的所有人都會被感染 everyone in the stadium will be infected.
病毒的潛伏期大概在 It should take two to three weeks
兩到三周才會開始出現症狀 for symptoms to start showing up.
到時候96000名足球粉 By which time, 96,000 fans
都已經散佈到世界各地了 from almost every country in the world
都回到了自己家鄉 開始傳播病毒了 will be back home, spreading the disease.
你為什麼做這種事 ? Why are you doing this?
想想看 Well, think about it.
我們現在人口有70億 We have 7 billion people running around
而地球只能承受50億 on a planet that can only hold 5.
我只是想改善下世界 I'm just trying to make the world
僅此而已 a better place, that's all.
把多餘的東西刪除掉 By deleting the surplus.
"治癒世界" "Cure the world."
那你準備刪除哪些人 ? And whom, exactly, do you intend to delete?
垃圾們 The garbage.
那些酗酒的低能者 The imbeciles who lie around drunk,
像兔子一樣到處繁殖 reproducing like rabbits.
衣來伸手飯來張口 And sitting there with their hand out,
靠著我們這些人養活他們 expecting the rest of us to pay.
直說吧 反正也不會有人會想念他們 And let's be frank, who's gonna miss them anyway?
殺了他 Kill him.
你是新入行的吧 You're new to this.
以前殺過人嗎 ? You ever killed a man before?
你要拿槍射我麼 ? Are you gonna shoot me?
不 No.
你們英國足球粉那句話是怎麼說的來著 ? How is it you English football supporters say?
沒錯 Oh, yes.
準備受死吧 You're going to get your bloody head kicked in.
嗷 ! Ow!
你還是直接拿槍射我好了 Maybe just shoot me.
起來 Get up.
給你那瞎眼 Time to say goodbye to your
包豬婆說再見吧 hideous pig wife.
給你點建議 Let me give you some advice,
烏克蘭版的本·阿弗萊克 Ukrainian Ben affleck.
千萬不要黑格林斯比的姑娘 Never, ever slag off a grimsby lass.
你沒這個膽 You don't have guts.
喔 Whoa.
沒想到這麼輕鬆 Well, that were easy.
嗨呀 Hiya.
太棒了 Amazing.
得給孩子們弄把回去 Gotta get one of these for the kids.
你有家人嗎 ? You have a family?
我最近才和我家人重逢 I just reconnected with mine.
我現在準備回家 然後... I'm going to go home and--
你們這殺手行業真是不錯 this killing business is a right laugh, isn't it?
我明白你們為什麼這麼愛槍了 I understand why you love guns so much.
用槍殺人的話 I mean, it completely detaches you
完全沒有罪惡感 from the guilt of your actions.
嗒噠 ! Ta-da!
還能耍帥 Bonus point.
能別射了麼 ? Will you stop shooting everything?
現在德國1分 英國1分 It's Germany 1, england 1,
情況隨時可能改變 and it's anyone's final now.
- 趕緊調出圖像 - 在努力了 Get that feed up. Come on. I'm trying.
沒多少時間剩下了 So little time remaining.
離比賽結束還有4分鐘 Four minutes to decide the final.
任務完成 Mission accomplished.
現在只要英格蘭的一分 All we need is england to score.
我的人生就無悔了 This'll be the best day of my life.
啥 ? 這裡的所有人都要死了 What? Every man, woman and child in this stadium is about to die.
放進耳朵裡 Put this in your ear.
朱蒂 你得幫我查查任何 Jodie, I need you to check for anywhere
可能放置病毒的地方 that might contain the virus.
好的 我掃瞄下球場的化學物質 Okay, I will scan for the chemical signature.
我們沒機會了 This is hopeless.
還有的 No, it's not.
看看是誰來了 Look who just sat down.
我們得趕在她釋放病毒前阻止她 We need to stop her before she sets off the virus.
好吧 那我們從球場繞過去 All right, listen, let's go around the stadium.
時間不夠的 We can't go around. There's not enough time.
我們得穿過賽場 We need to go across the pitch.
侵略賽場 Pitch invasion.
保全太多了 Too much security.
我們自己過不去的 We'll never make it alone.
自己 ? Alone?
我們並不孤單 We are not alone.
英國隊目前 It's england who are looking
的進球幾率比較高 the more likely to steal a late winner.
擴音器給我 Hey, give me that.
諾比 快坐下 ! Nobby! Sit down! Come on.
格林斯比的大伙們 聽好了 Men and women of grimsby, listen up.
這事很重要 This is important.
看到那個姑娘沒 ? You see that lass over there?
誰 ? 莎倫·奧斯本 ? What? Sharon Osbourne?
她準備釋放一種致命病毒 No. She's gonna release this deadly virus,
這種病毒會殺光我們這樣的窮人 and it's gonna kill poor people like us,
她覺得我們就是渣滓 because she thinks that we are scum.
沒錯啊 諾比 我們就是渣滓 Bloody hell, nobby, we are scum.
你的確是 皮特 Well-- well, you are, Pete.
你是被記錄在案的性犯罪者 You're a registered sex offender.
我又不是在誇獎你 That's not a compliment.
我們就這樣承認自己是渣滓 ? So we're scum, are we?
好吧 我給你們說說 Well, let me tell you something about scum:
建造醫院的就是渣滓們 It's scum who built the hospitals
而現在卻正被一家家關閉 that are now closing down.
沒錯 Yeah.
而發起戰爭的是那群混蛋 It's scum who die in the wars
捐軀的確是我們渣滓 started by the bastards in charge.
- 沒錯 ! - 都是因為我們渣滓 Yeah! It's scum that keep
才能讓"速度與激情系列"重新開拍 the fast and furious franchise alive.
沒錯 ! Yeah!
我現在請求你們 加入我們 So I ask you to join with us now
- 幫我們穿過賽場... - 耶 ! and storm that pitch... Yeah!
...讓世界見識下 渣滓們絕不會輕易投降 ...and show the world that scum cannot be washed away, ever.
耶 ! Yeah!
我們是渣滓 ! We are the scum!
耶 ! Yeah!
我們過早進場了 We started too early.
呼 ! Whoo!
是格雷夫 It's graves.
別讓他靠近我 Keep him away from me.
目標正在移動 我同步到你眼鏡上去 Okay, the target is on the move. I'll sync with your lens.
諾比 準備好大戰沒 ? Nobby, you ready for a fight?
我都等不及了 I thought you'd never ask.
綠色地球 Green earth.
目標正向南移動 Target heading southwest
正穿過德國球迷區域 through the German section.
快走 Come on.
看來球場秩序已經恢復 球員也回到了場上 Well, sanity has returned, and so have the players.
比賽繼續 決賽重新開始 The show will go on. The final will be restarted.
朱蒂 病毒在哪 ? Jodie, where's the virus?
我還是沒找到 I still can't find it.
諾比 來認識下 Nobby, meet the head
世界最大犯罪集團的老大 of the biggest crime syndicate in the world.
啥 她是FIFA老闆 ? What, she runs fifa?
這蠢貨又是誰 ? Who's this idiot?
他叫塞巴斯蒂安 His name's Sebastian.
小的們 ! Boys!
該死 Oh, bollocks.
上 ! Go!
快追 她要逃掉了 ! Quick! She's getting away!
又見面了 So we meet again.
找到了 I found it.
病毒在其中一個煙火裡 The virus is in one of the fireworks.
趕在她釋放病毒前射她 Shoot her before she gets to the detonator.
如果我射偏怎麼辦 ? But what if I miss?
我相信你 I trust you.
喂 ! Oi!
10秒 Ten seconds.
就只剩這點時間了 快看斯特林 ! That's all that's left. Oh, look at Sterling!
好機會 ! What a chance!
不 球要越過球門了 ! Oh, no! It's going over the bar!
噢 並沒有 Oh, no, it's not.
等下 球是怎麼搞的 ! But wait! What's happened to the ball?
彈進球門了 ! It's bounced in!
不 裁判要判此球無效 No, the referee's gonna disallow it.
- 進球有效 - Yes ! The goal stands. Yes!
英國贏了 ! England have won it!
諾比 Come on, nobby.
別亂開槍 集中注意力 Stop shooting everything and focus.
別擔心 交給我吧 Don't worry. I've got this.
朱蒂 槍卡殼了 Jodie, me gun's jammed.
不 Oh, no.
打擾下 女士 Excuse me, miss.
什麼 ? Yes?
滾你妹的 ! Go fuck yourself!
啊 ! Aah!
Yes! Yes!
Yes！我們成功了 小賽 ! Yes! We did it, seb!
耶 耶 ! Yeah! Yeah!
桑吉夫 就現在 ! Sanjiv, now!
- 收到 - 什麼 ? 求你們了 別 ! Got it. What? Please, no! No!
永別了 塞巴斯蒂安 Goodbye, Sebastian.
不 ! No! No!
治癒世界 ! Cure the world!
不 ! No!
已經晚了 ! Too late!
煙花根本停不下來的 ! There's no way to stop the fireworks!
- 我跳上去蓋住他們 - 沒用的 I'll jump on them. It won't work.
病毒被密封在煙花的尖端 The virus is in the tip of the firework.
需要爆炸在 It would need to explode
一個密封的環境裡 才可以阻止病毒傳播 within a contained environment to stop it spreading.
你根本無能為力的 There's nothing you can do.
還有個方法 Yes, there is.
我是格林斯比人 I'm from grimsby.
朱蒂 病毒在哪個煙火裡 ? Jodie, which firework is it in?
在中間左手的火箭裡 It's in the central left-hand rocket.
- 你做什麼 ? - 為社會主義做貢獻 What are you doing? Contributing to society.
啊 ! Aah!
諾比 是你的左手方 不是我的左手方 Oh, nobby. It's the firework to your left, not my left.
我了個去 ! For fuck's sake!
告訴我的孩子們 老爸是英勇就義的 Tell my kids that daddy died with dignity.
諾比 能聽見我麼 ? 你身旁的那個火箭 Nobby, can you hear me? The firework next to you
一樣有病毒 also has the virus.
什麼 ? 不 What? No.
可我只有一個菊花 But I don't have another asshole.
我需要第二個菊花 I need another asshole.
交給我吧 You've got one.
我也是格林斯比人 I'm from grimsby too...
我再也不會讓你離開我了 And I'm never gonna let you leave me again.
我的天啊 格雷夫 Oh, my god, graves.
格林斯比的布徹兄弟 兄弟齊心... Butcher boys of grimsby, together...
其利斷金 Forever.
唐納德·特朗普染上了艾滋 Donald trump has aids.
慈善家朗達·喬治被逮捕 Philanthropist Rhonda George has been arrested.
中東和平象徵洛莫·哈立迪已被逮捕 Middle east peace symbol schlomo khalidi is in custody
罪名是謀殺軍情六處特工 傑裡米·奇爾科特 following the murder of MI6 agent Jeremy chilcott.
不是我殺的 這一周簡直受不了了 I didn't do it. I've had the worst week ever.
滾你妹的以色列 滾你妹的巴勒斯坦 滾你們所有人 - Fuck Israel. - Fuck Palestine.Fuck all of you.
英國隊粉絲們賽後情緒高漲 England fans in high spirits after cup final victory.
軍情六處的叛逃特工 塞巴斯蒂安·格雷夫 Rogue MI6 operative Sebastian graves
以及他哥哥 諾比·布徹 and his brother nobby butcher
為了防止病毒擴散 died at the scene while preventing the release
死於世界盃 of a deadly toxin.
另一則消息 一位南非女傭 In other news, a south African hotel maid
起訴"綠洲樂隊"主唱 連恩·蓋勒格 has filed a suit alleging sexual assault
性侵她 by oasis frontman Liam Gallagher.
蓋勒格同時在被通緝中 Gallagher is also being sought for abusing an elephant
疑和"速度與激情"影星 范·迪塞爾 一同虐待大象 in conjunction with fast and furious star vin diesel.
很明顯 你們都需要新身份才行 Naturally, you'll both be needing new identities.
你們身體還好吧 ? How are you guys doing?
我屁股如何了 ? How does me ass look?
沒什麼 真的沒什麼 Good. Uh, really good.
這裡好大煙味 能麻煩你把風扇打開嗎 ? It's a bit smoky in here, Jodie. Can we have the fan on, please?
沒問題 Uh, of course.
你們之所以沒被感染 So you were saved from the virus
是因為大象精子裡的抗體 by an antibody found in elephant semen,
也就是說... which lined, uh...
...你們體內的大象精子 ...your innards.
我倆的菊花正在奏樂呢 We're like a pair of pan pipes.
很好 Great.
我還以為你不會出軌的呢 塞巴斯蒂安 And I thought you were going to be faithful, Sebastian.
你填滿了我生命裡缺失的一部分 You know, you really filled a hole in my life.
嗨 ! Hiya!
- 諾比 - 老爸 - Nobby. - Dad.
天啊 Oh, my god.
真高興你還活著 I'm so glad that you're alive.
知道嗎 ? You know what?
家人 Family.
是生命裡最棒的禮物 It's the greatest gift in life.
別丟硬幣了 那裡又不是許願池 Stop throwing coins in there. It's not a brown wishing well.
圖像正在傳輸中 You are now transmitting.
原地待命 盯住目標 Stand by. Stand by. Eyes on the target.
聽著 我們正傳送資料到你們的隱形眼鏡上 Listen, we're sending information to your lens.
交給我吧 藍色地球 I've got this. Blue earth.
嗨 老兄 Hiya, bruv.
- 很好 你提前到了 - 沒錯 Good, you're early. Yes, I am.
你和隊友們見面沒 ? Did you meet the team?
抱歉打擾下 足球場該怎麼去 ? Excuse me. Which way to the stadium?
直走5千米 然後右轉 Straight on for 5 kilometers, then to the right.
謝謝 Thank you.
不留目擊證人 Leave no witnesses.
片名 : 王牌賤諜
指揮官塞巴斯蒂安·格雷夫 虎尾小隊 軍情六處
坎帕拉 烏干達
倫敦 英格蘭
虎尾小隊總部 軍情六處黑色行動小組
旅者酒館 格林斯比 英格蘭
"世界靈藥"慈善活動 倫敦 英格蘭
歡迎回家 格林斯比的間諜 ! 噓 !
開普敦 南非
哈拉雷鄉 開普敦 南非
如果我喝躺了 請撥打07700 900489
哈拉雷鄉 開普敦 南非
格拉西亞體育館足球場 聖地亞哥 智利
"大漩渦"營地 聖地亞哥 智利
劇終
電影裡的丹尼爾·拉德克利夫 並不是本人 而且他沒有染上艾滋
電影裡的唐納德·特朗普 並不是本人
而且他沒有染上艾滋(為什麼兩人這句話的風格不一樣...)
八周後 雅加達 印度尼西亞
指揮官 諾比·布徹 虎尾小隊
謝謝觀看 CAST結束後還有彩蛋