如你所见 自从我当上了首席执行官 So as you can see, since I became the CEO,
我们有了无与伦比的用户增长率 our user growth, undeniable.
我们的用户粘着率堪比色情网站 Our retention, so sticky, it's pornographic.
我们团队很小 正在扩张 We're lean, we're exploding,
我们的使命感从未如此强烈 and we're more mission-focused than ever
想向世界展示 in providing the best video chat
史上最佳视频聊天软件 the world has ever seen.
看起来很有潜力 先生们 Well, this seems really promising, gentlemen.
有潜力 当然 Promising, indeed.
-我认为如果 -有潜力 I think if each-- "Promising"?
你是个年轻的合伙人 让我来帮你一把 You're a young associate here, so I'm gonna help you out, okay?
我们有很多这样的会议 We have a lot of these meetings set up.
我们绝对不愁钱 We will be fine.
他想说的其实是... What he means by that is...
但你 But you...
你不想落得一个 you don't wanna be known around here
把这事搞砸的名声吧 as the guy who fucked this up, okay?
所以当你向你老板描述这些数字 So when you hip your bosses to our numbers
而他们显然迫及不待的时候 and they get visible hard-ons,
让他们动作快点 have them move quickly.
埃利希 跟我走 Erlich, you're with me.
-是'迫不及待' -什么 -It's "Hards-on." -What?
'迫不及待' 不是'迫及不待' "Hards-on" Not "Hard-ons."
如果你给我说话的机会 It's a syntactical error that I could've remedied
这种语法错误就可以避免 if you had just given me the space to speak.
埃利希 周四见 对吧 Erlich, seeing you Thursday, right?
你最好相信我 You better believe it.
我简直等不及听... Can't wait for it. For, uh...
杨建的展示 他的新想法非常有趣 For Jian Yang's pitch. His new idea sounds super exciting.
是啊 他现在炙手可热 Yes, well, he is... white hot right now.
所以我让他直接联系你 And that's why I had him reach out directly,
我们等不及要向你展示 and we can't wait to pitch you the idea
我们要展示的点子了 that is gonna be pitched to you.
太好了 到时候见 Great. I'll see you then.
-你压根不知道是什么吧 -完全不知道 You have no idea what it is, do you? Not a fucking clue.
第
四
季
第
二
集
硅
谷
耳机里的音乐：打印机果酱Printer Jam
密斯塔毕什 Mistabishi（詹姆斯普伦 James Pullen）2009年作品
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue! Always blue!
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue!
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue! Always blue!
一直蓝 Always bl--
理查德 Richard, hey.
发生了... 找到了 What's, uh... Ah, there we go.
发生了什么 你们在庆祝什么吗 What's going on? You... celebrating something?
我们只是喊喊而已 We were just... chanting.
为什么 展示很成功吗 Why? What, the pitches go well?
还好吧 算是 They went fine, you could say.
你之前说非常成功 You said they went awesome.
好吧 谢谢你 大头 All right, thank you, Big Head.
我们得到了 几个出价 I mean, I did get us a... few offers.
"我们"收到的可不只几个出价 "We" Did receive more than a few offers,
"几个"通常表示三个 as "few" often refers to three.
今天 我们四个全中 And today, we're four for four.
这又能说明什么呢 Which... I mean, what does that even mean?
说明不了什么的 Nothing. Nothing at all.
你们不用这样 Look, you don't have to do this.
是我自己决定离开公司 Really. It was my choice to leave the company,
而且我网络的点子也进展顺利 and besides, my Internet thing is going great.
真的 非常顺利 Really, it's going very well.
我希望你们成功 希望你们开心 So I want you to succeed, and I want you guys to be happy.
你当然希望了 种子选手 Sure you do, slugger.
别这样了 真的 Stop. Really.
没关系的 我是认真的 It's cool. I mean that, totally honestly.
我们只是乐观而已 Keep it positive.
我要跟我爸视频 告诉他这个好消息 I should go Skype my dad, I think, and tell him the good news.
这是个好消息 对吧 Um, it is good news, though, right?
因为我们都在开心地庆祝 'Cause we were all sort of like happy and celebrating,
-但是现在感觉有点奇怪 -打吧 大头 - but now-- now it feels sort of weird and-- - Just go, Big Head.
-可以吗 -可以 - Okay. It's good? - Yes.
好吧 祝你们开心 All right. Well... enjoy.
继续吧 一直蓝色 Carry on. Always blue.
贾里德 Jared. Okay.
-一直蓝色 一直蓝色 -不好意思 - Always blue. Always blue. - Sorry. Sorry.
迪尼希 你好像不小心取消了 Dinesh, I think you accidentally disabled my access keys
我进入视频聊天数据库的权限 for the video chat data repository.
事实上 我是故意删掉的 No, actually, I deleted them on purpose.
我去掉了所有的前员工 I purged all our ex-employees.
格列布 桑贾伊 伊丽莎白 你 Gleb, Sanjay, Elisabet, you.
格列布 你把我和他相提并论吗 Gleb? What, you're comparing me to Gleb?
我们决定拆分公司的时候 When we agreed to split the company, we said that
说过你可以把算法用于视频聊天 you could take the algorithm for your video chat,
而我可以用系统里的数据 and I could use the data flowing through the system
来为我做的东西优化算法 to optimize the algorithm for my thing.
-我们有约定的 -我们口头上同意过 - We had a deal. - We had an agreement,
并不是严格意义上的约定 not technically a deal.
什么意思 迪尼希 What the fuck, Dinesh?
继续玩吧 蓝色 一直蓝色 Play! Play! Blue, blue! Always blue! Always blue!
开心点 你们开派对呢 还点了比萨 Have fun, you're having a party. You got pizza and everything.
-一直蓝色 -所以呢 - Always blue. - So, what?
我当时该写下来是吗 迪尼希 是这样吗 I should've got it in writing, Dinesh? Is that it?
想请个律师来吗 You wanna lawyer up now?
我们只不过是一群在家创业的人 You know, we're just some guys in a house.
但我不想只是在家创业 理查德 But I don't wanna be just guys in a house, Richard.
重点是 我希望魔笛聊成为一个真正的公司 That's the whole point. I want PiperChat to be a real company.
经历这么多不靠谱的事情之后 无意冒犯 And after all the bullshit we went through, no offense,
我终于为我们找到了几个真正的投资者 I finally got some real financing lined up for us.
我不能让'色界'的事情重演 I cannot have another Intersite on my hands.
那只能怪罗斯和他该死的龙舌兰 That was fucking Russ and his shitty tequila.
你知道的 你当时在那 不是我的错 You know that, man? You were there. That wasn't me.
理查德 在你的监管下发生的 Richard, it happened on your watch.
我很抱歉 真心抱歉 I'm sorry. I really am.
但答案是不 But the answer is no.
好 那吃屎去吧 Okay, well, suck a dick.
抱歉 你说什么 I'm sorry, what did you say?
-外套不错 -谢谢 - Nice blazer. - Thank you.
-哪买的 -重要吗 - Where'd you get it? - Does it matter?
我就想知道我能去哪买一件 I just want to know where I can get one,
以便让我看起来像个十足的人渣 so I can look like a total fucking douchebag.
对吧 Wow, right?
难以置信 Unbelievable.
各位 我们为何 Gents, why don't we take this...
不去外面继续派对呢 party outside?
是 我们住在加州 Yes, we live in California.
我们应该利用这点优势 We should take advantage of it.
好 Okay.
盖文 你跟我说如果杰克·巴克 Gavin, you told me to interrupt
来见你 就告诉你 抱歉 if Jack Barker came to see you. I'm sorry.
好 让他进来 Yes. Send him in.
我以为巴克在地下室待一天就能开窍 I thought Barker would crack after one day in that basement.
事实上他花了两周才愿意坦白 The fact that it's taken him two weeks to fess up
他劫持了我的飞机然后辞职 about hijacking my fucking plane and resign
会让我更舒爽 will make it all the sweeter.
你好 老大 Hiya, Skipper.
抱歉打断你们 我欠你一个道歉 Sorry to barge in. I owe you an apology.
是吗 为什么道歉 Really? Whatever for?
你把我扔进地下室时 When you stuck me in that basement,
我一头雾水心想"杰克" I was like, "Jack,
"你到底做错什么了" what the hell did you do wrong?"
抱歉我这榆木脑袋 And I'm sorry that it took me so long
花了这么久才想明白 to get it through my thick skull.
我总算想清楚是为什么了 I finally figured out what this is all about.
我很乐意听听看 Well, I'm glad to hear it.
你做的正是鲍比·伊格尔在迪士尼做的 You are doing exactly what Bobby Iger does over at Disney.
什么 What?
他让每个经理 He makes every manager spend
每年要穿一天装扮服 one day of the year in the Goofy Suit.
因为有时候 你只有站在产品层面 Because sometimes, you just gotta be at product level
才能看到最好的前进道路 to be able to see the best path forward.
我一意识到这点 简直就是恍然大悟 And once I realized that, it was like, ka-pow!
太显而易见了 是算法 It was so obvious. It's the algorithm.
魔笛手在视频聊天中放入压缩算法 Pied Piper put middle-out in their vid chat,
现在效果很惊人 我知道 and it's amazing now, I know.
我跟我的孙子们一直都用这个聊天 I'm on it all the time with my grandkids.
我们可以用压缩算法 We could use middle-out
来改进我们整套产品线 to revamp our entire suite of products.
我们可以赚几十亿 头 We can make billions, Chief.
我正在起草一些提案 I'm whipping up some proposals right now
会惊掉你的假发 that are gonna knock that wig right off your head.
没错 Yeah.
他究竟在想什么 What the fuck is he up to?
这他妈看起来像假发吗 Look like a fucking wig to you?
问题是 杨建 不是你由来介绍 The point is, Jian-Yang, you don't set pitches.
我来处理议程 I handle the scheduling.
我们的合作关系就是如此 That's the symbiosis of our relationship.
-不 -你说不是什么意思 - No. - What do you mean, "No"?
-不 -杨靖 - No. - Jian-Yang,
魔笛聊确实很有热度 PiperChat has some real heat, okay?
我们可以由此来展开 And we can draft off of that,
但也必须精心编排 but it has to be a carefully choreographed dance.
你不可能动几句嘴皮子 You can't just wiggle your little tush
就希望硅谷的每个风投给你投钱 and expect every VC in the Valley to get hards-on.
我是你的主要投资人 I am your lead investor,
你必须给我相应的尊重 you will respect me as such.
我不尊重你 I do not respect you.
你算哪门子的投资人 你啥也没有 You're not any kind of investor. You own nothing.
我拥有百分之十的股份 I own 10 percent.
你住在我的孵化器里 You live in my incubator.
不 你驱赶了我 No, you evict me,
我拿走了你百分之十的股份 I evict your 10 percent.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
"圣克拉拉县警局" "Santa Clara Sheriff's Department.
"主动搬出否则将被强制赶走" "Vacate or be forcibly removed."
公平地讲 杨建 我是在看不到系统 To be fair, Jian-Yang, I filed this when I had no expectations
-有任何前景的情况下才报的警 -好吧 - that the system would work. - Okay.
杨建 你能告诉我你的主意是什么吗 Jian-Yang, just tell me-- can you just tell me what the idea is,
这样我就能估摸出我能多激进地去争取 so I can gauge how aggressively I should pursue it?
贾里德 你当时在 对吧 Hey, Jared, you were there, right?
当我们把公司一分为二时 When we split the company into two,
迪尼希和我有一个 -停停 Dinesh and I had a very-- - Stop, stop.
拜托别说了 Please stop.
-理查德 你在干嘛 -什么 - Richard, what're you doing? - What? What?
-你什么意思 -我在抱怨迪尼希 - What do you mean? - I'm complaining about Dinesh.
他太差劲了 He-- he sucks.
他现在是我的老板了 理查德 He's my boss now, Richard.
你的老板是个十足的孬种 Well, your boss is being a real prick.
理查德 我们得区分一下我们的关系 Richard, we have to bifurcate our relationship.
你和我不再讨论生意 好吗 You and I can no longer discuss business. All right?
我们可以聊 We can-- We can talk about
任何男人间会聊的话题 anything else two guys might talk about.
我们可以聊体育 球队 We can talk about sports teams
和他们的得分 或者女人 and their scores, or pussy,
但你和我不能也不会讨论生意 but-- but you and I cannot and will not discuss business.
兄弟 无论如何 Hey, man, for what it's worth,
我觉得迪尼希做得太差劲了 I thought it was super fucked up what Dinesh did.
我知道成为唯一一个 I know what it's like
公司之外的人是什么感觉 to be the one guy not in the company.
-你知道 -所以 - You know? - So...
如果你想登陆的话 拿去吧 If you want my log-in, it's all yours.
真的吗 Really?
-是的 老兄 -谢谢 - Yeah, man. - Thanks.
你知道吗 You know what?
我不能这么做 迪尼希说不行了 I shouldn't do this. Dinesh said no.
还有 这些是"天际"的作弊码 And also, these are "Skyrim" cheat codes.
该死 没错 Oh, shit. Yeah.
我的彭博采访开始了 Hey, my Bloomberg interview is on!
我怎么想出'魔笛聊'的 How did I come up with PiperChat?
问得好 That's a very good question.
我想技术之神恰好与我心灵相通 I guess the tech Gods were just speaking through me.
不知为什么 Somehow,
我就知道从某些像'互利聊'一样 I knew to take the best parts of a service
又低端又烂的产品中提取了精华并使之... as substandard and crappy as HooliChat and make it--
我应该怎么说呢 How do I put this?
不可思议 Incredible.
你们是不是觉得我头发上东西抹太多了 Do you think I have too much product in my hair?
不 我觉得你应该再抹多一点 No, I think you should use more.
等等 你这样说是不是因为我看起来 Wait. Are you saying that because you think I look ridiculous
有点滑稽 你想让我下次更加滑稽 and you want me to look more ridiculous next time?
哪个答案会让你抹更多 Which answer will get more of that stuff in your hair?
...但是我们还是说... ...but let's just say...
等等 看看这个 Wait, wait, wait. Watch this.
就是在这里我把艾米丽·常逗笑了 This is where I make Emily Chang laugh.
对于一个没有高速发展的公司 Quite a turnaround for a company
这次转型幅度可不小啊 that wasn't exactly soaring.
是有高速发展的 艾米丽 Oh, it was soaring, Emily...
发展进堵住的马桶 right into a clogged toilet.
而且不是一般堵住的马桶 And not just like a standard clogged toilet.
我用搋子都不行 Like, I don't need a plunger.
我得用铲子和桶 I need a shovel and a bucket.
但是对以前的领导已经聊差不多了 But enough about the previous leadership,
他不称职 无能 又刻薄 which was inept, lame, bitter...
去他的 我们说好的 Fuck him. We had a deal.
谢谢 Thanks.
这太奇怪了 That's weird.
理查德 Hey, Richard.
你看最新的《体育画报》泳装版了吗 Have you seen the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition?
封面模特的表情简直可爱神秘极了 The cover model has the most lovely, enigmatic facial expression.
贾里德 我不想跟你聊这些男人的话题 Jared, I-- I don't really want to talk about guy talk.
我是来告诉你 I'm here to tell you that
我觉得迪尼希可能会有不小的麻烦 I think Dinesh may be in some serious trouble.
我在分析一些用户数据 Okay, so I was analyzing a bunch of user data,
-我注意到 -不不 理查德 理查德 - and I noticed-- - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Richard. Richard.
我告诉过你 我不能谈这个 你得分清楚 I told you, I can't talk about this. You have to bifurcate.
不 贾里德 听着 你会想听这个的 No, Jared, listen, you're gonna wanna hear this.
等等 你说分析用户数据是什么意思 Wait. What do you mean you were looking at user data?
你侵入了我们的系统吗 You violated our system?
理查德 你侵入了我们吗 Richard, you were inside us?
别告诉迪尼希 也别告诉别人 好吗 Don't tell Dinesh, and don't tell any of the other guys, okay?
"别告诉迪尼希" "Don't tell Dinesh"?
理查德 迪尼希是我老板 Richard, Dinesh is my CEO.
天啊 你在对我做什么 Oh, God. What are you doing to me?
我惹你生气了吗 Did I make you angry?
我在试图救他 好吗 我也在救你 I'm trying to save his ass, okay? I'm trying to save you.
就做个用户调查吧 Just survey the users...
确保你问到他们的年龄 and make sure you ask how old they are.
好吗 就这样 就这样 没别的了 Okay? And then, that's it. That's it. That's it. No more.
该死的杨建和他的烂应用 Stupid fucking Jian-Yang and his shitty app.
我甚至都不知道那应用是不是烂 I don't even know if it is shitty.
你知道吗 我可能会弄清楚杨建的应用 Hey, you know, I could probably find out about Jian-Yang's app.
他问过我能否向我展示 He asked if he could practice-pitch it to me.
-你有九吗 -没有 - Do you have any nines? - Go fish.
等等 这样不错 你们什么时候做 Wait. This could be great. What time are you guys doing that?
-我可以偷听 -我不确定 - I could listen in. - I don't know.
他问能不能跟我展示 我说没问题 He asked if he could pitch me, and I said sure,
然后他就继续说了一阵子 and then he kind of just like kept talking for a while.
你不会认为那就是展示吧 You don't think that could've been the pitch, do you?
去你妈 他怎么说的 God damn it, what did he say?
天啊 我有点走神了 Geez, I kind of zoned out.
糟糕 有五吗 Shit. Fives?
没有 Uh, go fish.
等等 我不知道这是不是有关系 Wait. I don't know if this would be relevant,
但是他说了好几次'3D眼镜' but he did say the word "Oculus" a whole bunch.
等等 '3D眼镜' Wait. "Oculus"?
天啊 那是种虚拟现实设备 Oh, my God. It's a VR play.
目前硅谷里最华而不实的东西 That's the frothiest space in the Valley right now.
没有人理解它 但是人人都想参与 Nobody understands it, but everybody wants in.
任何白痴只要能够讲出 Any idiot can walk into a fucking room,
'虚拟'和'现实'两个词 utter the letters "V" And "R,"
风投们就会给他狠狠地砸钱 And VCs will hurl bricks of cash at him.
等他们发现那不过是太监软件时 Then by the time they find out that it's vaporware,
已经太晚了 it's too late.
我必须得掺和一下 I have got... to get in on this.
背景音乐：皮条客PIMP
巴高伦钢铁乐队Bacao Rhythm & Steel Band（德国电子组合）2016年作品
相信我 就给我五分钟 他在那里 Trust me. Just give me five minutes. There he is.
等一下 那是我们的律师吗 Hey! Wait. Is that our lawyer?
我以为他在监狱里呢 Hey! I thought he was in jail.
来得正好 Hey. Perfect timing.
我刚把这部起亚收拾好 I just completed the detailing on this Kia.
-过来吧 -这他妈怎么回事 - Come on. - What the fuck is going on?
等等 我不明白 Wait. I don't understand.
理查德是怎么接触到我们的用户数据的 How did Richard have access to our user data?
肯定有人放他进来的 Someone must've let him in.
是你 你是个内奸 贾里德 It was you. You're a fucking rat, Jared.
理查德是未经允许就进入了我们 Richard entered us without consent.
尽管这样 他指出了关键的问题 In spite of that, he has raised a real issue here.
去他的 我要打个优步回家 Fuck this. I'm gonna Uber home.
莫纳汉先生 祝你监外工作顺利 Mr. Monahan, good luck with this whole work-release situation,
但是我有更重要的事情要做 but I have more important things to do.
丘格塔伊先生 Mr. Chugtai.
看来你们的用户里有33%是在13岁以下的 It appears that 33 percent of your users are under the age of 13.
而且很明显你们没有 It's also apparent that you have
适当的家长许可要求 no parental permission requirements in place.
你会愿意坐下听听这个的 You're going to want to sit down for this.
-你对COPPA熟悉吗 -谁 - Are you familiar with COPPA? - Who?
《儿童网路隐私保护法》 That's the Children's Online Privacy and Protection Act.
这条法案制订了 This Act establishes strict guidelines
严格的规章制度 to protect the privacy
来保护未成年人网络隐私 of younger children on the Internet.
你严重违犯了这条法案 You are in gross violation of this act.
比方说小孩在13岁前不能有 You know how kids can't have a YouTube or Facebook account
脸书和油管账号 就是因为这条法案 till they're 13? It's because of this.
但我们的用户是来互相交流的 贾里德 Yes, but our users are chatting with each other, Jared,
不会有什么猥琐大叔 not some old creep.
-无意冒犯 -不要紧 - No offense. - None taken.
就算我的投票权利恢复了耻辱也将伴随我 My shame will linger even after my voting rights are restored.
你们的服务器上保留了 Now, are there records
所有聊天记录吗 of these chats on your server?
有 我们全都保存了 Yeah, we store everything.
-什么 -到底怎么了 有多严重 - What - Okay. What's going on? How serious is this?
每一次违犯《儿童网路隐私保护法》 Each violation of COPPA...
会被罚16000美金 carries a penalty of $16,000.
我们会被罚16000块 So we're fined $16,000?
不要啊 我希望他们收现金 Oh, no. I hope they take cash.
每个用户16000美金 $16,000 per user.
并不是每个用户 Not only each user...
是每次使用 each use.
大概有五万一千低龄用户 Fifty-one thousand estimated underage users
乘以每人平均使用25.6次 times an average 25.6 chat sessions per user
乘以每次使用16000美金 times $16,000...
210亿美元 $21 billion?
这他妈怎么可能 I mean, how is that even fucking possible?
我知道迪尼希会搞砸 I mean, I knew Dinesh was going to fuck this all up,
但说实话 他不能砸得更漂亮了 but honestly, this couldn't get any better.
你的衬衣哪儿去了 What's with the shirt?
他吐到自己身上了 He sort of became ill on himself.
我错了 他确实砸得更脱俗了 I was wrong. This just got better.
理查德 这都是你的错 This is all your fault, Richard.
在我接手这公司前它是你的 This was your company before it was mine.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
迪尼希 我明确提醒过你 Dinesh, I specifically reminded you
沿用之前平台的服务条约 to port over the terms of service from the platform.
我还问你有没有完成 你说完成了 Right, and I asked if you'd done it, and-- and you said you had.
我提交到应用商店时声明说我们有服务条款 Okay. I checked the TOS box when I submitted to the app store,
但我最后并没有落实 行了吧 but then I didn't end up doing it, all right?
后来我们一炮走红后 And then when we caught fire,
我根本不想 the last thing I wanted to do
因为什么操蛋法律而减缓用户增长 was bog our users down with legal bullshit, you know?
反正也没人会读那些破条款 I mean, nobody reads that stuff anyway.
首先 每个人都会去读服务条款 Well, first of all, everyone reads the terms of service,
第二点 这些条款 and secondly, they would've
给了我们法律保护 特别是现在这种情况 given us legal cover from exactly this.
每一声都是16000美元 Every sound is $16,000.
操 Fuck!
好了 别去想这些 All right, all right. Don't think about that.
就想想怎么解决这个巨大 严重的问题 Just think about how to solve this massive, massive problem.
要快 Quickly.
-尽量快 -贾里德 你就 - Quick as you can. - Jared! Just...
等下 我们可以停运 Wait. We could shut down.
不 不行 我们马上都要签风投协议了 No, no, no. Not when we're this close to signing a term sheet.
以免你们都忘了 And in case all of you gents have forgotten,
我被这玩意套牢了50万美元 I'm on the hook for half a million clambos for this thing.
但我们不能继续运营 罚款越来越多 But we can't stay online! We're just racking up more fines!
严格来讲 这是家企业 Well, technically, this is a corporation.
不管他们罚你多少 So whatever they fine you,
他们只能追回这家公司的市值 they'll really only be able to collect what the company's worth,
就现在而言 你们一文不值 which at this point, is basically nothing.
没错 我只是首席执行官 That's right. I'm just the CEO.
我不用承担个人责任 I'm not personally liable.
不过 Although...
不过什么 Although what?
当你骗我说加了服务条款时 Well, when you lied to me about adding terms of service,
这可以说你违反了 it could be argued you violated
你对公司的诚信义务 your fiduciary duty to the company,
这就变成了你的个人责任 rendering you personally liable.
如果联邦交易委员会把我们告上法庭 I mean, if the FTC brought us to trial,
我可能不得不对你做不利举证 I could be compelled to testify against you.
贾里德 我信任过你 Jared, I trusted you.
信任与这无关 Trust has nothing to do with it,
不过谢谢你说出来 but thanks for making that official.
所以我可能会以个人名义偿还这210亿 So I could be personally liable for $21 billion?
对 很可能 Yeah, most likely.
童话里说魔笛手将所有小孩带走 I know, in the fable, Pied Piper led all the children
消失在黑暗中 结果我们也正在这么做 into darkness, but now we're doing it.
所以 你想怎么办 So, what do you wanna do?
我又要吐了 I'm gonna throw up again.
这我一定得围观 I'm going to watch this.
我要对杰克·巴克进行全天候监控 I want full surveillance on Jack Barker, 24/7.
我不建议使用传统的窃听设备 I don't recommend using conventional listening devices.
他也许会发现 He may sweep for those.
我在脸书的同事有激光话筒 I do have a colleague at Facebook that has a laser microphone.
只需要在一英里外对准办公室窗户 You can point it at an office window from a mile away
就能读取声波震动 and read the sound vibrations.
我喜欢 I like it.
胡佛 你是这家该死的公司里 Hoover, you're the only person
我唯一可以信赖的人 I can trust at this goddamn company.
有个朋友真好 It's good to have a friend.
我十分理解 先生 I understand that, sir.
盖文 你在这 Gavin, there you are.
我不想打断你和胡佛的谈话 I don't want to interrupt your talking with Hoover...
总是有各种事情要谈啊谈的 and talking and talking about things,
但我有确凿的消息 but I have some concrete news.
-关于什么 -杰克·巴克 - Regarding? - Jack Barker.
不要再用那些科技手段 By forgoing Western gadgetry,
我只在他办公室门口蹲守了半天 simply stationing myself in the hall outside of his office,
就听到他亲口和别人说 I was able to overhear him speaking
要如何出手对付你 of his plans to move against you.
他甚至还叫你盖文·死臭尔森 He even referred to you as "Gavin... Smellson."
我就知道 干得好 丹波克 干得好 I knew it! Good work, Denpok.
走 我们去好好教训下这混蛋 Good work. Let's go slice this bastard in half, huh?
等等 我们还没证据 Hold on. We need proof.
他一口否认怎么办 Otherwise, he'll just deny it,
到最后就成了众口一......雌了 and it'll just be a case of he said/she said.
有道理 丹波克 他和谁说的 That's a good point. Denpok, who was he talking to?
可惜 我当时所处的地点无法看清 Alas, I could not see this from my hidden vantage point.
我去查下记录 看看谁去他办公室了 I'll check the logs and see who was in his office.
不行 因为 No, because...
当时办公室没有人 no one was there.
我不明白 他当时是在打电话吗 I'm confused. Was he on the phone?
是的 您真有洞察力 Yes. Very perceptive.
-这好办 我去调他的通话记录 -不行 - Easy. I'll just pull up his phone records. - No.
不是我们说的那种电话 Not the phone phone.
那他到底在干什么 视频聊天吗 So what was he doing? Was he video chatting?
是了 门徒 That's what it was, chela.
那更简单了 我去调聊天数据 Even better. I'll pull up the chat data.
还可以这样吗 You can do that?
只要用的是互利聊都行 Well, as long as he was on HooliChat,
但那混蛋 but the bastard kept
总当着我的面狂夸魔笛聊如何好 grinding in my face how much he loved PiperChat.
-万一他用的是 -没错 就是魔笛聊 - What if he was using... - PiperChat. Yes.
-妈蛋 -他说他们的分辨率 - Fuck! - He said the resolution
比互利聊好多了 高清鲜活 was so vivid and superior to HooliChat.
他绝对在和某个人聊天 但很遗憾 Sadly, now we'll never know the identity of the person
这下我们永远无法知道对方是谁了 with whom he was definitely talking.
-除非 -除非什么 - Unless... - Unless what?
迪尼希 Dinesh?
哥们 Hey, man.
你怎么样 How's it going?
糟透了 Bad.
我懂 我也经历过 Well, look, I've been there, man.
-肯定没有 -不 我也经历过 - No, you haven't. - No, I-- I have.
我们给罗斯洛马做公司介绍的时候 One time when we were pitching at Ross Loma...
我吐到裤子里了 I threw up in my pants.
你是想说吐在裤子上了吧 Don't you mean "On"?
不不 我就是 就是吐裤子里了 No. No, I mean-- I mean "In."
我们正讲着 当时情况反馈不是很好 We were pitching and... well, things weren't really going well,
我就开始紧张 我也不清楚 I was getting nervous and-- I don't know,
可能当天也吃坏肚子了 I think I must've eaten something bad that day.
但反正突然胃特别不舒服 Anyway, my stomach was upside down,
我直奔厕所 进了隔间 so I made a beeline to the stall.
但等我脱下裤子 坐下 But then I pulled down my pants, sat down...
没拉出来 却吐了 全吐裤子里了 but instead of shit, I threw up... into my pants.
好吧 但我首席执行官才当了11天 Well, I was CEO for 11 days,
就侵犯了五万名小姑娘的 and in that time I violated the rights
的合法权益 of 50,000 little girls,
使她们易受性犯罪者的侵害 exposed them to sexual predators,
可能招致的罚款堪比一个小国的GDP and racked up fines the size of a small nation's GDP.
没错 但我还吐裤子里了呢 Yeah. I threw up in my pants.
该死 Fuck.
我怎么办啊 理查德 What do I do, Richard?
哪条路都不对 There are no right answers.
我当首席执行官的时候发现 You know, when I was CEO...
没有正确的出路 怎么选都是错 I found that it was more about choosing
最后只能选条你还算能忍受的 the one wrong answer that you can live with.
我真的很喜欢那个视频聊天软件 I really loved that video chat.
您好 Hello.
我就是 This is he.
什么 What?
是盖文·贝尔森 It's Gavin Belson.
是他妈的盖文·贝尔森 It's Gavin fucking Belson.
您好啊 盖文·贝尔森 Hey, Gavin Belson.
怎么了 天哪 What's up? Oh, my God.
我们好得很 We're crushing it all the time.
我在浴缸里呢 I'm in a bathtub.
当然可以 那太好了 再见 Yeah, of course. I'd love to. Bye.
他今晚想见我 在约瑟芬餐厅 He wants to meet me at Josephina's tonight.
我答应了吗 Did I say yes?
老天 Holy shit.
盖文·贝尔森想收购"魔笛聊" Gavin Belson wants to acquire PiperChat.
他当年想收购"魔笛手" He made the same call to me
也给我打过完全一样的电话 back when he wanted to make an offer for Pied Piper.
他想从迪尼希这里 He could take this entire shitbomb
接过整个屎挑子吗 那就没戏看了 off Dinesh's hands? Where's the fun in that?
更重要的是 这下我能回本了 More importantly, I could get all my money back,
没准还能赚 可以狠坑他一笔 各位 maybe even more. We could 10X this motherfucker, gents.
-然而 -然而什么 - Although... - Although what?
我不想总当乌鸦 Well, I'm sorry to play the Cassandra again,
但迪尼希不能把公司卖给盖文 but Dinesh can't sell Gavin the company.
-为什么 -对啊 为什么 - Why not? - Why the fuck not?
会有尽职调查 盖文谁都不信任 It's due diligence. Gavin doesn't trust anyone.
给他工作的时候 他甚至想给我装微芯片 When I worked for him, he tried to microchip me.
他敲定任何一桩收购前 Before he finalized any acquisition,
他的法律团队就会发现我们的不当行为 his legal team would uncover our malfeasance.
随便一查就能发现用户年龄问题 They'd sniff out the user issue immediately.
可能还会举报你们 那就更糟糕了 And they'd probably turn you in, and you do not want that.
而且还会有道德困境 I mean, there's also the moral quandary.
迪尼希已经深知公司的软件 Even if he could get away with it,
基本就是性变态们的自助餐厅 could Dinesh really sell the company, knowing it's basically
他真能忍心瞒着转卖给盖文吗 a Sizzler buffet for the sexually deranged?
当然可以了 Of course he could.
哪怕只有百分之一成功的可能 Because even if there is a one percent chance of success
而面对百分之99失败蹲监狱的可能 and a 99 percent chance of failure and prison,
他也会做出正确选择把我的钱捞回来 he will do the right thing and get me my money back.
抱歉 埃利希 我已经决定了 I'm sorry, Erlich. I've made my decision.
我要拒绝盖文·贝尔森 I'm gonna say no to Gavin Belson...
把应用停用 然后走一步算一步 shut it down, and just see what happens.
他妈搞什么 去你妈 What the fuck, huh? What the fuck?
杨建 Jian Yang!
盖文 Hey, Gavin.
迪尼希 Well... Dinesh.
多谢你过来 Thanks for coming.
听着盖文 我仔细想过了 Listen, Gavin. I've thought about it,
如果这是为了你买'魔笛聊'的事 and if this is about you buying PiperChat--
我今天不是来买你公司的 I didn't come here today to buy your company.
你不是 You didn't?
不是 我是来接管它的 No. I came to take it.
我以为我得买下你的公司 I thought I'd have to buy you out,
然后我想弄明白要对付的首席执行官是哪种人 and I wanted to know what kind of CEO I'd be dealing with,
所以我让公关部搜集了有关你的所有新闻 so I had my comms people pull your press,
你如你跟科技博客做的这个采访 like this interview you did with TechCrunch
这里你说'魔笛聊' 用你的原话 where you described PiperChat as, and I quote,
"跟'互利聊'一模一样 "Exactly like HooliChat,
但没有那恶心人的部分" "but without the suck-ass parts," end quote.
或者你在艾米丽·常的节目上 Or the one you did with Emily Chang,
你告诉她你是怎么保留了'互利聊'的精华 where you told her how you took "the best parts of HooliChat
"并把它们进一步升华" "and made them less crappy."
我本来要砸给你一大笔收购价 I was about to throw you a massive acquisition deal,
然后我意识到 and then I realized
你都已经公然承认窃取我的知识产权 you'd already publicly admitted to stealing my IP.
我真心希望你有个好律师 I hope you have a good lawyer.
他在这条街上的洗车店工作 He works at the car wash down the street.
啥 What?
听着盖文 你不会想要这么做 Look, Gavin, you do not want to do this.
-我不能具体解释为什么 -闭嘴 - I can't explain exactly why. - Shut up.
我不是来跟你谈判 This is not a negotiation.
如果你想跟我抗争 我一定会赢 If you fight me, I will win,
然后我会让你在科技行业臭名远扬 and I will fuck you in the tech business forever.
永远不会用人雇你 No one will hire you.
我来接管'魔笛聊' 明天早上八点前 I'm taking PiperChat. By 8:00 a.m. tomorrow,
你要把你的所有数据和系统移交给'互利' you will hand over to Hooli all your data and systems.
你的所有用户会转换为'互利聊'的用户 All your users will be converted to HooliChat users.
就好像'魔笛聊'从未存在过 It will be like PiperChat never existed.
而你的好处就是给你一个全身而退 And what you get out of it is the chance to walk away
还能在这里重头再来的机会 and try and get another job in this town.
给你五秒做决定 You have five seconds to decide.
-五 四 -好 - Five, four... - Okay.
那我们说好了 So we're in agreement.
为拿到你现有产品十分之一的股权 For a 10 percent stake in your current venture,
你将拥有泳池的所有使用权 you will receive full pool privileges,
冰箱里更大的空间 并且你可以住在我家 more room in the crisper, and you may live in my home for...
完全免费 For free.
半年完全免费 For free for six months.
去你妈 一年 Fuck you. One year.
操 好 成 Fuck! Fine. Fine.
-那我们说好了 -成交 - It's a deal. - Deal.
建 你这些苛刻条件无法阻挠我 Jian, I mean, your onerous terms not withstanding,
我很激动能参与你虚拟现实的生意 I'm very excited to be a part of your VR play.
VR VR?
- VR 虚拟现实 -谁做虚拟现实了 - VR, virtual reality. - Who's doing VR?
你啊 大头是这么说的 You are. That's what Big Head said.
你这个点子是跟3D眼镜有关的 对吧 This play has to do with the Oculus, right?
-不 -但他说你提到3D眼镜 No. But he said that you said, "Oculus."
他说你不停地说"3D眼镜 3D眼镜" He said you kept saying it. "Oculus, Oculus, Oculus."
章鱼 Octopus.
不对 No.
不会的 No.
-章鱼 -一种水生动物 - Octopus? - It's a water animal.
我知道章鱼是什么动物 I-- I know what an octopus is.
只是你的应用跟章鱼有什么关系 Just-- what does your application have to do with octopus?
八种中餐烹饪章鱼的方法 Eight different ways to make a Chinese recipe, octopus.
所以我刚刚用了整整一年的 So I just traded one year...
免费住宿 泳池的所有使用权 of free rent, full pool privileges,
和更多冰箱中的位置 and more room in the crisper
换取一个只是八种 for an application that is just...
章鱼菜谱的应用 eight recipes for octopus?
对 Yes.
伙计们 他们准备好了 Hey, guys, they're ready.
这他妈是什么 What the fuck is this?
我调取了他的所有视频聊天记录 I went through every chat in his history.
看起来都一样 They're all the same.
说不定是另一种聊天软件 Perhaps it was another chat format.
你能把'Skype'和'FaceTime' Could you acquire Skype or FaceTime
都买下来查查吗 and check them as well?
什么 What?
盖文 抱歉 Uh, Gavin, I'm-- I'm sorry.
我得跟你探案买下'魔笛聊'的事 I need to talk to you about this PiperChat acquisition.
在你从'魔笛聊'那里接管的用户中 I put together a panel of the most active users
我把最活跃的一些用户邀请了过来 you ported over from PiperChat.
记住 这一组人代表了现有用户的 Bear in mind, this group is representative
性别 种族 就还有最重要的 年龄 in terms of gender, race and, most importantly, age.
现在 还有谁认为改成 Now, who else thinks changing
由'互利聊'登录逊毙了 to a HooliChat log-in is hella lame?
麦迪逊 艾莉森 詹妮弗 Madison, Allison, Jennifer,
丝黛芬妮 奎恩 英格丽德 凯莉 Stephanie, Quinn, Ingrid, Kaylee...
-不要啊 -安博 莎拉 贾妮尔 - Oh, no. - Amber, Sarah, Janelle...
卡尔 那么卡尔 Carl. Now, Carl...
你说过新的登录界面让你紧张难安 you said the new sign-in page made you nervous.
还有谁觉得不安吗 Did anyone else feel nervous?
导演: 迈克·乔吉
编剧：克雷·塔沃
片尾曲 ：有趣的房子Fun House
演唱：耐人寻味的男孩 Pregnant Boy（嘻哈组合） 奥格斯外戈戴克OG Swaggerdick
跟我一起转吧 Rollin' with my ****** like ha
Heyyy ha ha
像哈哈一样嘲笑你 Laughin' at you ****** like ha
Heyyy ha ha
把头伸出窗外你的感觉 Head out the window **** yo feelings
模仿吧，因为你一直在 ****** imitate 'cause you been on
竖中指是最真实的 Middle fingers up we the realest
老大听起来像个***** Big chief rings like the *****
跟我一起转吧Rollin' with my ****** like ha
Heyyy ha ha
像哈哈一样嘲笑你 Laughin' at you ****** like ha
Heyyy ha ha
把头伸出窗外你的感觉 Head out the window **** yo feelings
模仿吧，因为你一直在 ****** imitate 'cause you been on
竖中指是最真实的 Middle fingers up we the realest
老大听起来像个***** Big chief rings like the *****