(Moans)
- (Giggles) It tickles. - Want me to stop?
Yeah, can you just come up here and fuck me, please?
OK.
No, no, no. Not right after. Come on.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I won't. - (Laughs) Don't you dare!
Take this off.
I brushed my teeth, I brushed my teeth, I brushed my... Mmm.
- Have you set the alarm? - Mm-hm.
- Paul? - Hm?
- Can we talk for a sec? - Of course, honey. What?
I want to tell you something but I'm embarrassed.
Say it.
Well, I need you... I need you not to judge me. OK?
It's important that you don't judge me.
- Promise me you won't. - Hey, sweetheart, what?
I want you to rape me.
- That's it? - Yes.
That's what you were embarrassed about?
Yes.
- OK. - Really?
Of course.
You're a ten, babe.
You're a fucking ten out of ten.
You're 20 out of ten. To me. You're five stars.
Yeah? Come here.
Feel better?
Uh... No. Paul.
Honey, not...
Not 'rate' me.
Rape me.
- What? - I want you to rape me.
- You want what? - You to rape me.
- You want me to rape you? - Yes.
- What are you talking about? - It's a fantasy of mine.
What, getting raped?
Yeah, it's like your foot thing.
Um, it's a bit different, I think, hon.
- How? - How?
How is sucking your toes different from me raping you?
Oh, come on, you know what I mean.
It's something I've always wanted to try.
I just thought it might be a nice thing
for us to talk about.
- You know, just to be honest. - Yeah.
- I'm going to... - (Yelps, laughs)
No? What?
- Not now, not now. - No? When?
- Um, I don't want to know. - OK, tomorrow, or...?
No, no, I don't want to know, Paul.
I'm working late on Friday
if you want to knock it on the head...
You're not listening. I don't want to know.
I don't want to know when. I don't want to know where.
I don't even want to know... for sure...
- Yeah? - ..That it's you.
Right.
Yeah, I don't know how to take that, babe.
Honey, it's a really common fantasy.
Yeah, I'm not 100% sure it is, hon.
It is actually and you said you wouldn't judge me.
No, I didn't. I absolutely did not.
How did you expect I'd react, Maeve?
You just told me you had a fantasy
that doesn't involve me!
No, what? Yes, it does!
You said you want to be raped but not by me.
No! Oh, no, no, no, darling, that's not what I meant.
Oh, my God, you are so fucking beautiful.
No, I want to be raped by you.
No, you don't.
Yes, you are the only man in the world I want to rape me.
I love you but because I love you
and because you're the only man I want to be with,
I want you to have sex with me.
Oh, Pauly, I adore you.
I just want for one little second, like, to fear
what might be like if it was somebody else.
- Does that make sense? - Not really.
OK, go to sleep, we'll talk about it another time.
Blowjobs.
- That's good, Daniel. - It's Dan.
Forgive me, that's good, Dan.
Let's explore blowjobs.
(Sighs) It's going to come out the wrong way.
There is no wrong way.
- Her blowjobs... - Say it... to Evie.
Your blowjobs...
..aren't... very...
..good.
They're not... They're not that bad.
They are.
Well, you remember the last time you went down on me, Dan?
- 'Cause I don't. - OK. OK.
- Regularity's not the issue. - Let's just... take a breath.
When was the last time you had sex?
- Um... - (Clears throat)
- Like, um... - It was, um, it was...
It was last month before your fun run.
Was it?
OK. What seems to be missing here is communication.
But you're both struggling with that.
So as an experiment tonight...
..don't be Evie and Dan.
Instead, be two different people
who aren't afraid to say what they want.
Are you familiar with role play?
♪ Oh, baby, how you gonna make me feel good?
♪ Do a dance, let me see ya... ♪
Miss Redding, sorry to keep you waiting.
(Laughs)
- What? Why are you laughing? - I'm sorry.
- Why is this funny? - I'm sorry, I wasn't ready.
- Just do it again. - Seriously?
- Go, sorry, I wasn't ready. - Evie, don't laugh 'cause...
- You'll wreck it. - Sorry.
Miss Redding.
Detective.
I'm going to need to ask you a few questions,
if that's alright.
- Depends. - On what?
On whether you're the good cop or the bad cop.
- Which one are ya? - Guess.
Good cop.
Guess again.
(Chuckles)
I said, guess again.
Now, Miss Redding, are you going to cooperate?
Fuck me.
But they're watching us behind the mirror.
Don't care. Fuck me.
(Dan sighs)
- That was amazing. - Yeah.
- You were amazing. - So were you, E.
- Where did that come from? - I don't know.
- You really became that guy. - (Chuckles)
- Detective Dan. - (Laughs)
- So strong and believable. - Really?
Yeah.
I mean it, Dan, maybe you should have been an actor.
(Kisses him)
You have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say... You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be taken down
in a court of law.
You can't.
Yeah, I can. No, you can't.
Yeah, I just did it.
- Honey, you still awake? - Yeah...
I really like the role play thing.
Yeah, me too.
I definitely think we should do it again sometime.
Hm.
(Soft panting)
Richard?
Richard.
Hey. I'm about to come, quick. Quick, quick, quick.
(Moans)
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
Oh, oh... Yes.
Yes. (Exhales)
You know I'm not ovulating now, right?
Yeah, yeah, I just thought
it'd be a shame to waste it, you know, just in case.
(Sighs) Oh, God.
- That was good timing. - Hmm.
How was your day?
- Good. Fine. Boring. - Yeah?
- How was yours? - Same. Same.
- You smell good. - Mm.
- Cup of tea? - Yeah, thanks, hon.
Oop. Yep.
♪ You gotta give a little
♪ Take a little... ♪
Earl Grey or Russian Caravan?
Earl Grey.
♪ That's the story of, that's the glory of love... ♪
It's the same every time.
Two days before I start ovulating, twice a day,
morning and night in the recommended position.
And for 20 minutes afterwards, I elevate my hips.
And it's been like that for almost three years now
so you can't tell me that there isn't something wrong.
There isn't something wrong.
Sometimes it just comes down to bad luck.
Will you please just tell us what to do?
'Cause I'll try anything.
Do you climax at the point of ejaculation?
Mutual orgasms are said to increase
the chances of conception.
So do you orgasm during sex?
Yeah, I mean, I have. Yeah.
While you've been trying to conceive?
Oh, no, not since I've been married.
How's your cervical mucus? OK?
It's good. Yeah.
Good. And what about the doctor?
Did she say anything or...?
Actually, she, uh, she did say one thing.
- Yeah? - Um...
Yeah. She said that it might help if I orgasm during sex.
You orgasm during sex all the time.
Yeah, so...
Yeah, we just... We, uh, keep doing what we're doing.
- Yeah. - Knuckle down.
Hey.
If having a baby was easy, everyone would be doing it.
I think everyone is doing it.
Yeah, but their babies suck. Ours is going to be awesome.
- (Laughs) - We'll be right.
(Phone rings)
I should get that. That'll be work.
RICHARD: Hello.
You want to go outside?
Babe. What's wrong, honey?
My dad's dead.
Oh, my God.
He, uh... had a... had a heart attack.
No.
(Cries)
I've never seen you cry before.
(Both moan)
(Cries)
MAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa... (Laughing, animated chatting)
Hey, the place looks great. I am so jealous.
- Thank you. - Well, slowly but surely...
Only one thing left to do now, Paul.
- Yael. - What do you mean?
I think she means marriage, mate.
- Oh, right, - What, it's been five years?
BOTH: Six. - Six?
- Yeah. - So what are you waiting for?
- OK, that's enough. - No, it's OK, it's fine.
Uh, no, it's, like, we're not really waiting for anything.
We're just not really marriage kind of people, that's all.
Yeah.
What? We've talked about this.
- I know. - We laughed about it.
We said we didn't need to go through all that.
Yeah, I know. I know.
Um, should we do dessert?
- Yes, please! - Let's do that.
- Great. - Thank you.
Thanks, darling.
- You OK? - Hmm.
- You seem a little bit... - I'm fine, I'm fine.
Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever...
Have you ever... (Sighs)
Have you ever raped anybody?
No. Who's been saying that?
- No-one, no, it's... - Have you?
No.
No, I haven't and that's the thing. I don't really want to.
Mate, that's good. That's good.
- You don't have to. - No.
(Laughs) Mate, I'm not...
No, it's not that, it's... It's not me, it's...
It's Maeve. She's got this, uh...
What?
I don't even know what you call it.
- That thing, this, uh... - Oh. Like a fantasy?
Yeah. A fantasy. How did you know that?
(Laughs) OK. Rape fantasy - very common.
No shit. That's what she said.
Yeah. Yael's got one. Massive one.
- Really? And you've never...? - No, can't be done.
I've tried but it's a flawed fantasy.
- Not possible. - Why?
Well, think about it.
The moment someone asks to be raped, it stops being rape.
Right? It's only rape if they don't want it.
- She wants it - not rape. - Right.
The reason they can't get what they want
is because they want it.
God, that doesn't seem fair.
Sucks, mate.
There's got to be something I can do.
I just want to make her happy.
Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned...
- ..run-of-the-mill sex? - Yeah.
People have to complicate it with all this kinky shit.
Yeah.
You don't have anything like that, do ya?
- Hm? - No weird fetish?
Nah. I mean, define 'weird', you know.
(Doorbell chimes)
Hi.
- Hi! Hi, sorry to bother you. - That's OK.
Uh, were you in the middle of something?
Oh, no, we're just having some lunch. It's alright.
- Oh, I'm so sorry. - That's fine.
I'll be quick. Um, my name's Steve.
I've just moved in down the road.
- Oh, we've just moved in too. - Hey, how about that!
- Hello, welcome. - Thank you.
Well, as I said, I won't keep you.
- I'm doing the rounds. - Nice.
- Visiting the neighbours. - Good.
And I wanted to give you these.
- Aww... (Gasps) - My way of saying hi.
Oh, my God. Golliwogs.
Also, I am required by federal law to inform you
that I am a convicted sex offender.
Where did you find Golliwogs?
I didn't think they made them anymore.
- No, they don't, I do. - Oh!
Yeah, baking is my little hobby.
Amazing. I haven't seen these since I was a kid.
I think they stopped making them
on account of the, you know, racism.
- Yeah, makes you think. - Yeah, it does.
OK, well, I won't keep you any longer.
- OK, thanks, Dan. - Steve.
Steve! Sorry. Maeve. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too. - Thanks so much for this.
- Bye-bye. - Thank you, bye.
Please be kidding,
♪ Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
♪ Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
♪ Mr Sandman, bring me a dream
♪ Bung, bung, bung, bung
♪ Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
♪ Bung, bung, bung, bung
♪ Give him two lips like roses and clover
♪ Bung, bung, bung, bung
♪ Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over
♪ Sandman... ♪
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Well, could you brush your teeth
if you're going to breathe into my face like that?
♪ Please turn on your magic beam
♪ Mr Sandman, bring me a dream... ♪
♪ Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
♪ Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
♪ Mr Sandman, bring us a dream. ♪
I don't want to be the bad guy here, Phil.
But you can't keep falling asleep at work.
I mean, you're dropping the ball.
So that's a penalty, that's one strike.
I'm sorry, it won't happen again.
- Alright, off you... - I'm tired.
I didn't get that raise that...
I told you why I couldn't give you the raise...
..home life got a little bit...
..times are tight, money's tight.
I mean, we're all feeling the pinch.
- I'm cancelling my holiday. - Really?
- Shortening it, yeah. - OK, I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
Have you ever been to Thailand?
You've never been, have you?
Remember I did my shoulder in Bangkok?
The doctor put me on these. Right?
These little suckers will knock you out
a good six, eight hours.
OK, I'm not kidding but be careful.
They're from Thailand so they're not technically,
you know, legal.
I'm not great with pills.
I've got a really sensitive gag reflex.
I almost choked on them at a school camp when...
So I'll just... I'll put them in some tea.
There you go. Those'll do the trick.
That's the same stuff they force-feed prisoners
when they riot.
So you want to sleep? You're gonna sleep.
(Children shouting)
Oh... Come on, guys!
(Screams)
- Oi! BOY: We were just...
You were just nothing. Bedtime.
(Whistles)
Monsters.
(Snores)
Hey.
Hey!
Wow.
♪ Beautiful dreamer
♪ Wake unto me
♪ Starlight and dewdrops
♪ Are waiting for thee
♪ Sounds of the rude world
♪ Heard in... ♪ - Dad.
(Silence)
Uh, what are you doing up?
Off to bed, the pair of ya. Don't make me come up there.
♪ Gone are the cares
♪ Of life's busy throng
♪ Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me
♪ Beautiful dreamer
♪ Awake unto me. ♪
Good morning.
- How are you feeling? - Fine.
Feeling better, actually.
Good. That's good.
I may be a little late tonight.
Not too late, OK?
No? Why?
I don't know, I just thought that we could...
What?
I don't know.
- You don't know? - No.
You really don't know?
- I said I don't know. - Right.
- Just not too late, OK? - I won't be too late.
Oh, God, I am so sorry.
No, I'm sorry, it's totally my fault.
Uh...
Golliwogs?
- Why do you have Golliwogs? - Well, it's why I'm here.
I've just moved in down the road.
And I thought I'd just pop in and introduce myself.
- I'm Steve. - Uh, Phil.
Pleasure to meet you, Phil.
Those are my little 'Howdy, neighbour' gifts... for you.
God, this takes me back.
A simpler time.
It really was.
Also, I'm required by federal law to inform you
that I am a convicted sex offender.
This is so nice of you.
(Sniffs)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Baby, you're not crying.
I don't think I have any tears left in me.
I'm sure there's a few more in there.
I mean, your dad only just died.
Ooh. Baby, shush.
(Richard moans)
Sorry to keep you waiting, Mrs Hawkins.
Actually, doctor, it's 'Miss'.
Well, Miss Hawkins, why don't you take a seat?
You look very sexy in that outfit, doctor.
Now, Miss Hawkins, I have the results of your test here.
Oh, yes. Will you need to examine me further?
Uh, no, no, it's conclusive.
And I'm afraid it's bad news.
Well, I have been a very bad girl.
- Perhaps you need to... - You have hepatitis.
- Sorry, what? - Hepatitis.
Well, that's not very sexy, is it?
No, no, it's not. Particularly not hepatitis C.
So, I'm going to prescribe you a course of interferon
and I'll give you the number
of a support group in the area.
And I'll see you again in a couple of weeks.
- Sorry, Dan, I'm confused... - Dan?
It's 'Doctor'! Stay in it!
Now we have to start again.
No, no, we don't have to start again.
- Just getting good too! - How was it getting good?
Why do I have hepatitis?
Because I thought that your character was, you know,
like, maybe got around a bit.
You know, a bit slutty. I thought that would be sexy.
I'm not gonna want to have sex
if you've just diagnosed me with an STD.
Just... Just make me feel sexy.
Alright, alright, alright.
Do it again. I promise I'll make you feel sexy, OK?
Um, go back to your spot.
I'll start here and...
- You alright? - Just feel a bit hot.
Oh, is this part of the...? We started?
Miss Hawkins, I need to speak...
- (Vomiting) - Baby, you OK?
Hey. Hey, what's the matter?
Hey, you're right.
You're right.
Good thing I'm a doctor, eh?
(Silence)
(Muffled sounds becoming clearer)
♪ Hot ginger and dynamite
♪ That's all there is at night
♪ Back in Nagasaki where the fellas chew tobaccy... ♪
Hello.
♪ They got a way there to entertain
♪ Would hurry a hurricane
♪ Back in Nagasaki where the fellas chew tobaccy
♪ And the women wicky wacky woo
♪ In Fujiyama, you get a mama
♪ Then your troubles increase, boy
♪ In some pagoda, you order soda
♪ Earth-shake milkshakes, ten cents a piece... ♪
Nice of you to show up.
I had car trouble, I'm so sorry.
(Skype ringtone)
(Muffled scream)
- Ah! - Oh, ah, sorry.
- (Grunts) - Shh.
You're not fighting. You know.
- Keep going. Just keep going. - How do you know?
No, no, baby. Your smell. Just keep going.
Shit.
- (Sighs) My smell. - Just keep going.
I even got these clothes from a second-hand store.
It's still good, baby, keep going.
- No. - Yes, yes, yes.
No, I fucked it. I'm sorry.
Oh, come here.
- For a second, though? - Yeah, definitely.
Yeah? I'm sorry about the groceries.
- It's OK. - I heard something crack.
- Eggs. - Shit.
- The eggs? - Yeah, it's OK.
- Really? I'll get more eggs. - Shh.
- I'm sorry. - Shh.
It's OK.
- Hey! - Hey.
- Are you still working? - Yeah.
I'm just cleaning stuff out.
It's good, actually. It's keeping my mind off things.
You need to take a break, baby.
You want to watch a movie or something?
- Um... yeah, sure. - Yeah?
I thought we could watch one in bed?
- Alright. - Alright.
Actually, I picked up a couple on my way home.
What have I got?
I have got Sophie's Choice or Philadelphia.
Any comedies?
Might be a bit heavy for me, hon.
Oh.
Well, maybe later?
Will you come and help me make some dinner?
Yeah, yeah, just give me a couple of minutes.
Alright, well, I'll leave the onions on the bench
for you to cut, OK?
Just... Onions again?
Jesus, Ro, no offence, I'm a bit onioned out.
I feel like we've been eating onions
every night for the past week.
OK, alright.
OK.
- How was your day? - It was good.
It was exhausting but good.
Oh, that's nice.
So you haven't been thinking about your dad at all?
(Sighs) Well, I am now.
Why did you bring up Dad?
Well, you just haven't spoken about him in a few days.
You must miss him.
I'm just trying not to think about it.
Can we just talk about something else?
Hey, you remember when he used to leave
those ridiculously long messages on your phone
and you wouldn't even finish listening to them?
You'd just delete them.
You ever think about that and wish you hadn't done that?
(Cries) God...
Hey. Hey, hey.
Honey. Hey, what's wrong? Look at me.
I just miss him so much.
Hey, it's alright, sweetheart. It's OK.
I've got you, honey, I've got you.
Hey, what... Are you serious?
What, I thought you wanted...
What, I wanted a handjob while I thought about my dead dad?
No. Thanks.
Hello, girl.
You're my good girl, aren't you?
My best girl.
I love you. I love you.
OK.
You ready for a little trip?
Just one night. I'll pick her up again tomorrow afternoon.
- I don't know, Ro. - One night. That is all.
- Why? - I want to take Richard out.
As a surprise and I don't want him worrying about the dog.
You know what he's like.
- Why are you lying? - What? I am not.
Yes, you are lying. Your knee is twitching.
I have known you my entire life
and you cannot tell a lie without your knee twitching.
What's going on? Ro!
Look, will you take her or not?
Yeah, alright, I'll take her but...
I gotta run. I'll pick her up tomorrow.
Run away?! How did she run away?
- I-I don't know, sweet... - How did she get out?
I-I came home and the side gate was open.
Why was the side gate open, Ro?
- I don't know, sweetheart. - Jesus!
Oh, my God, you must be feeling so emotional.
Come on, baby, come here. It's alright.
I know how much she meant to you.
Meant to me?! Don't say 'meant'! 'Means' to me!
Call me if she shows up!
- Miss Wickam, I beg of you! - Mr Callum, hold your tongue.
I'm to be wed within the week.
You love him not.
If you walk away from me now,
you'll be making the biggest mistake of my life.
I feel faint.
I used to be scared of the idea of growing old.
Now I'm just scared of the idea
of growing old without you.
- Baby... - Shh.
What are you doing? I was watching that.
No, wait, I need to talk to you.
OK, talk to me but can you turn the TV back on?
- No, this is important. - What is it?
- I love you. - How is that important?
- Give me the remote. - No, no, wait. Listen to me.
I'm in this. You and me, all the way.
- Are you? - Yeah, of course.
Are you?
I mean, what if... what if we were to take things
to the next level?
Oh, we are so on the same page, it's scary.
Where are you going?
Is this next level enough for you?
I need to tell you something.
Wait, wait, wait, let me enter into it.
No, Dan, I'm not doing this anymore, OK?
You're giving me really mixed messages here, Evie.
I just want to tell you something.
Well, tell me, tell me! Just stop playing games!
- Tell me! - Dan, I'm...
(Doorbell rings)
- No, leave it. - Could be important.
I can promise you it is not as important
as what I'm about to tell you.
(Doorbell rings)
I'm sorry, it's going to annoy the shit out of me.
- Don't you dare. - Don't I dare?
Calm down, I'll be two seconds.
I'm asking you,
your wife is asking you to not answer the door.
Yeah?
- Bad time? - Uh, I don't know, maybe.
- Depends what you want. - Good point.
My name's Steve. I've just moved in down the street.
OK.
Just wanted to introduce myself
and say hi to the neighbours, that's all.
(Door slams)
Uh, OK, yeah, in that case, it is kind of a bad time, mate.
- Sorry. - Yeah, of course.
I see you've got your hands full.
Uh, look, I just wanted to give you these
and I'll get out of your hair.
Thanks.
- They're Golliwogs. - Yeah. Thanks.
Bet you haven't seen those for a while.
Um, no. Suppose not.
- Uh, is that it? - Uh... yeah.
Actually, there is one more thing.
Yep?
I am required by federal law to inform you
that I am a convicted sex offender.
Yeah, that's fine. Anything else?
No. That's everything.
OK!
Evie!
Evie, open the door.
Evie, don't do this.
Evie!
Honey, what are you doing? Go to sleep.
No, I can't, I have to finish these posters.
D'you think you'll be able to put them up
around the streets tomorrow?
- Yeah, of course, honey. - Thanks.
- I'm sorry. - Baby, don't apologise.
It's not your fault.
I bet you anything that when you get home tomorrow,
Roxy'll be here waiting for you.
Run away?!
W-What do you mean? How is that even possible?
Well, I think maybe she went out the side gate
'cause the latch is broken.
- Why is the latch broken? - It's a long story.
I'm so sorry, Ro. I-I didn't...
OK, you can never tell Richard about this. I mean it.
What?
You can never tell him that Roxy was here.
He will never forgive me. Or you.
- Ro... - You gotta promise me.
- Ro! - No, promise me!
I promise, what is going on?
Oh, my God.
- Did you find Roxy? - Not yet.
But we will. We will.
Hmm, the posters should help, don't you think?
Definitely. Someone will see those posters
and they'll call.
Yeah. So you put all the posters up or...?
- Of course. - Of course.
- Yeah. - Hmm, that's weird.
What?
I was putting out the garbage earlier today
and the bottom of the bag split open.
- Oh. - And I found these.
What the fuck, Ro?
- I must have accidentally... - Oh, must you?
That's bullshit because you just told me
that you put up all the posters.
Yeah, but what I meant was...
- Where's Roxy? - I don't know.
Don't you? Why are you lying to me?
Why would you hurt me like that?
I mean, do you not want to find Roxy?
I did not hurt Roxy!
Who said anything about you hurting Roxy?
- I didn't mean... - What did you do to her?
If it was an accident, just tell me. I'll understand!
- Did you kill her? - What? No!
I did not kill the dog!
(Faint noise)
Can we help you?
I'll come back another time.
Just tell me, what has happened?
Richard, I swear to you.
The last time I saw Roxy, she was fine.
But there's something, isn't there?
I know you, Ro, I can see it.
There's something wrong with me.
Um... I wanted to tell you as soon as I felt it
and I should have but I...
I am sick, Richard.
- I'm so sick. - Sick?
What do you mean, sick? Sick, how?
God, I'm so afraid to tell you.
It's not... It's not cancer, is it?
- Baby, it's... - It's not... cancer, is it?
It could be... a bit of cancer, yeah.
Oh, God...
What does that mean - 'could be'?
Well, the doctor says that the results are...
They're inconclusive.
Wait, wait, wait, I'm confused.
It's OK, it's alright. I've got you.
- Hey, let it out. - No, no, no. I've got you.
- I'll be strong for you. - Not too strong. Hey?
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Oh, my God!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
(Screams)
(Door closes) - Just me!
Will you shut up? The boys are asleep.
Oh, I know, I-I'm sorry I'm late.
- I can explain... - Stop fucking mumbling, Phil.
'Not too late.' Do you remember saying that?
Yeah, I do remember but I wanted to get...
I don't care. Your dinner's in the fridge.
Want a cuppa?
♪ I rode my bicycle past your window last night
♪ I rollerskated to your door at daylight
♪ It almost seems like you're avoiding me
♪ I'm OK alone but you got something I need
♪ Well, I have got a brand-new pair of rollerskates
♪ You got a brand-new key
♪ I think that we should get together
♪ And try them out, you see
♪ I've been looking around a while
♪ You got something for me... ♪
If I find you sleeping in this building again,
that's it, you're done.
Oh, will you just stop mumbling?! I do not...
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
(Laughs)
♪ La, la, la, la-la, la
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la
♪ Oh, I got a brand-new pair of rollerskates
♪ You got a brand-new key... ♪ (Bang!)
Oh...
(Clears throat)
Don't bother, mate. Strike three.
My office.
Why don't we reschedule?
Fucking what?
(Sighs)
Hey, honey bee!
I got a little surprise for you today!
Hello?
What's with the silent treatment?
Oh, Evie, talk to me.
Do you remember what our counsellor said
about communication?
Yes, I remember what our counsellor said
about communication.
I remember everything our counsellor said
including the date and time of the next fucking appointment.
Did you, Daniel? No.
Don't call me Daniel, Evelyn.
Daniel. Da-niel. Daniel, Daniel, fucking Daniel.
Honey bee, honey bee, I am sorry. I am so sorry.
I'm a shithead, I completely forgot.
- Won't happen again, alright? - Yeah, well, better not.
Got a present for you today.
Really?
- It's a video camera. - It's for our role plays.
I thought we could tape and watch it back.
- Dan. - Don't you reckon?
- How much was it? - Oh, no, it's nothing.
Couple of hundred bucks.
We should really be saving right now.
No, no, we're fine. Do you want to try it out?
I have costumes
and I've set up a little something in the garage.
Let me get the light
and, uh, let me see, press that there.
Evie, you look amazing. This is so exciting.
- Uh, you ready? - Yep.
And... action.
Action. (Clears throat)
Um...
I hear you've been misbehaving, prisoner.
(Clears throat)
Um... I always fall for the bad boys.
What are you in here for, stud?
Assault. Sexual assault.
I'll bet she secretly loved it.
He.
- For fuck's sake, Dan! - What?
You're trying to turn me on by telling me
you have sexually assaulted a man?!
It's called having a back story, Evie.
(Beeping) - Something's burning.
Oh, shit. It's the light. Get the door! Get the door, Evie!
- I am! - Bloody thing.
We're fine! We're fine! Everything's fine!
Close the door, Evie! Close the door! Close the door!
(Coughs)
No! Oh, fuck, Evie!
This cost $3,000!
Thank God it's working. OK, let's go from the top.
- The top of what? - The scene.
What scene? Dan, do you even remember why we're doing this?
- For the sex. - For the marriage.
You're really starting to scare me. Look at yourself.
Don't even recognise you anymore.
Babe, babe! Warden! Warden!
Perhaps we can have a bit of fun before you go.
Hey.
- Where have you been? - What do you mean? Work.
Well, I called your work
and they said that you left hours ago.
- So where have you been? - Just been in the car.
Don't you dare fucking mumble.
I've been in the car!
Honestly, I've just been driving around, thinking.
Why weren't you at work?
Maureen, there's been a bit of a reshuffle at work.
It's nothing I did.
Are you cheating on me, Phil?
What?
$500 on women's clothes. $70 at The Body Shop.
- Interflora, David Jones... - Show me that.
Fuck you!
We have a joint bank account, you idiot.
- I can explain. - Yes. Yes, this time explain.
I can... First of all, I never did anything...
It's so complicated...
You're not going to understand.
OK.
Yeah, I've been having an affair.
(Gasps)
It's over and it will never happen again.
- Who is she? - Someone from work.
- You don't know her. - What's her name?
- Does it matter? - What is she like?
- Don't do this. - Is she younger than me?
- She's about the same. - Prettier?
- Again, about the same. - Is she thinner than me?
You have a lot in common.
She's not younger than me. She's not skinnier than me.
She's not prettier than me. Why couldn't it just be me?
Because she's softer than you.
She's quieter than you.
She doesn't yell at me.
She doesn't call me an idiot
or tell me to shut up all the time.
She listens to me.
She's nice to me.
She doesn't make me feel like the only thing stopping her
from being happy... is me.
Get out.
- Maureen. - Get out, Phil.
(Radio plays old-time music)
Fuck it. Fuck.
(Phone rings, voicemail beeps)
At the tone, record your message.
To end, press 'hash'.
(Beep)
PHIL: Maureen, pick up.
It's not another woman, it's only ever been you.
I don't want anyone... Oh, shit!
(Crash, screech)
(Beep)
If you are satisfied with your message, press 1.
To re-record your message, press 2.
For more options, press 3.
♪ ..to say goodnight. ♪
- D'you make a wish? - Yeah.
Yeah?
Are you gonna tell me what it is?
No.
If I guess, will you tell me?
- Maybe. - Maybe?
OK, is it a... car?
- No, it's not a car. - OK, not a car.
Is it bigger or smaller than a car?
- I'm not telling. - (Laughs) Alright.
Is it bigger or smaller than... I don't know,
top of my head, say, this?
Oh, my God, if that is car keys, I'm going to kill you.
- Paul. - I'm not saying anything.
- No, this is not OK. - Just open it.
Oh, wow.
- They're really beautiful. - Yeah?
Yeah.
- Happy birthday. - Thank you.
(Indistinct chatter)
- Oh, what? - No, I'm OK. I'm OK.
- Seriously? - Yeah, I promise you.
Otherwise, we need to have a little nap.
A nap? In the car? While I drive?
Can you spare a dollar, mate?
No, sorry, mate, we don't have any.
That's right, you remember it.
Come on, man, just a dollar.
Mate, we honestly don't have anything. I'm sorry.
Not one single dollar?
OK, you should just give them what you've got.
- Alright. - He doesn't have anything.
- For fuck's sake. - That's what he said.
Alright, mate.
- Alright, that's fine. - OK.
What?
Alright, you want phones? They're yours.
There you go.
Oh, come on, mate. That's enough.
You got what you wanted.
I wouldn't say that.
Aren't you a pretty little thing?
- Alright, fuck off. - What are you doing?
- (Screams) (Glass shatters)
(Continues screaming)
(Screams, sobs)
Sorry, sir, there's been a gas leak in the garage.
- I can't let you through. - A gas leak?
Hmm.
(Sobs)
Paul! Paul!
Paul! Where are you...?
Is he OK?
Hey.
Hey, sweetheart.
- Where are we? - We're in the hospital.
- Shit, are you OK? - Am I OK?
Yeah, I'm OK. You're not OK.
You fractured your skull, honey.
But you're going to be fine.
Oh, my God. How?
You fell and hit your head.
Really? I don't remember.
Yeah, the doctor said you might not.
- It's OK, just rest. - What happened?
Somebody hit you.
The car park.
Yeah. In the car park.
Did I rape you?
Shh.
That's what I was trying to do, sweetheart.
- Shh. - Those men, I paid them.
- I know. - They were actors.
They were meant to hit me with a fake bottle.
- Yeah. - Did they use a real bottle?
- I-I don't... - It should have been fake.
Honey, just try and rest. Just try and relax.
- It was for your birthday. - I know.
- As a surprise. - I know.
Did I do it?
Maeve, tell me.
Did I rape you?
- Yeah. Baby, you raped me. - Yeah?
(Sighs) Was it OK?
Yeah.
Was it what you wanted?
- Yeah. - Thank God.
(Sighs)
I really tried to think of everything this time.
You know, I really put some thought into it.
- I know. - Yeah.
I practised.
But, you know, it was my first rape and I...
I don't know if I'm, like, meant to be a raper.
- Shh... - 'Cause it was...
No, baby, it was perfect.
It was perfect.
Wait, so when did I hit my head?
- Right after. - Shit.
- There was more. - No.
- There was more... - No more, no.
I was meant to do one more thing.
Pauly, no more, please. Honey, no, that's enough.
Just one more thing. Where are my clothes?
Please, just get my clothes.
My jeans.
The front pocket of my jeans.
Yeah.
♪ Oh...
♪ Do it again
♪ I may say no, no, no
♪ But do it again... ♪
You don't have to answer now.
♪ My lips just ache to have you
♪ Take the kiss that's waiting for you
♪ Oh, do it again
♪ Please do it again
♪ And again and again. ♪
I will be at Mum's until you sort out your priorities.
You're my priority! Done! Sorted!
Well, it doesn't feel like it.
You never look at me anymore.
You're late home every night...
I'm under the pump at work, babe.
That is bullshit. Bullshit!
I called your brother and he told me
you've been taking theatre lessons.
Theatre... Screen acting classes. So what?
So what the fuck? Since when did you want to be an actor?
You're the one who said I should get into it.
- What? When? - Oh, God!
When we first started this whole role play thing.
You said I could be a famous actor. Your words.
That does not sound like something I would say.
And that is not the point.
The point is you lied about it.
I was embarrassed.
I mean, Jesus, Evie! Me? An actor?
- It's crazy. - It's ridiculous.
It's not ridiculous.
Dan. It's ridiculous.
Don't go. Evie.
Don't go.
If you walk out that door,
you'll be making the biggest mistake of my life.
I used to be scared of the idea of growing old.
Now I'm just scared of the idea...
..of growing old without you.
- Ow. Fuck! - What?
Oh, I got it in my eye. Christ!
- Got what in your eye? - Tiger Balm.
I got fucking Tiger Balm in my eye. God, that really stings.
How did you get Tiger Balm in your eye?
You're supposed to put it near your eye.
Like, the bridge of your nose and it makes you cry.
They showed us how to do it in acting class this week.
You were acting?
Yeah, you couldn't tell, though, right?
You are a psychopath.
You're not... you're not even ready to be a husband,
let alone a...
Let alone a what?
Evie.
Let alone a what?
An actor?
You're not a fucking actor.
Wow.
What happened to you? Where's Dan?
'Where's Dan? Where's Dan?' Fuck Dan!
Dan is boring. He's pathetic.
Why do you keep going on about Dan?
I can be better than Dan, Evie.
I'm done with Dan.
Yeah.
Me too.
(Door opens)
DOCTOR: OK, so I will see you next time?
Have a good day.
Richard, come on in.
(Sighs)
What's bothering you?
Um, well, I just wanted to talk to you about Rowena.
- Where are you going? - Uh, I don't know.
I just can't be here right now.
Why?
I saw Dr Barnes today.
She said she hasn't seen you in weeks.
- And you don't have cancer. - I don't have cancer.
What the fuck is going on?
Well, I just came from the doctor
and the results came back and they are negative.
I don't have cancer. We beat it.
No, it's bullshit.
Dr Barnes said she hasn't seen you in weeks.
I never said I went to Dr Barnes.
Yes, you did. You said Dr Barnes.
Well, honey, if I said that, I'm sorry.
I thought I had cancer, I was a bit confused.
But I don't...
..have it.
- So there's no cancer. - No.
(Cries)
Are you crying?
Aw...
- Sweetie, are you crying? - Yes, I'm fucking crying!
- Ow! That hurt! - Oh, did it? Good!
I hurt you, good!
Because I can't help but feel that for the last few weeks,
you've been hurting me. Like, deliberately or something.
- That is so crazy! - Is it?
Then how come you keep putting
photos of my dad up all around the house?
I put a couple up, I don't keep putting...
But you do! This is what I'm talking about!
You're not putting photos up, except you are.
Y-You didn't throw those posters out, except you did.
But only because you have cancer, except you don't!
I can't trust you anymore, Ro!
I still don't know where Roxy is. My dad's dead.
I'm crying all the fucking time.
I'm so dehydrated and I can't help but feel
that you are somehow... you're behind it all!
OK, firstly, I did not kill your dad.
(Chuckles) Boy, do I keep picking the wrong times.
So sorry.
Richard, can you just...?
Wait, Richard!
Please, can you just stop and talk to me?
- Honey, please don't go. - Why?
Are you gonna actually tell me what's going on?
Like, look in my eyes and actually tell me the truth?
No, of course not.
All I ever wanted was to have a family with you.
And now...
..shit, I'm almost glad I couldn't get you pregnant.
I am pregnant.
What?
- Please come here. - No, what did you say?
Don't fuck with me, Ro, not about this.
- What did you say? - I said I'm pregnant.
Is that true?
Are you sure? How can you be sure?
Just, I am, I'm sure.
You're pregnant?
That's what all this has been about?
Why didn't you tell me?
Scared.
We're gonna have a baby?
♪ Dreams, they're for those who sleep
♪ Life, it's for us to keep... ♪
(Laughs) I thought it was kicking.
It's just your knee twitching.
♪ I wanna make it with you
♪ I really think that we can make it, girl. ♪
(High-pitched hum)
- Playing up again? - Oh, no, it's fine.
It just hums sometimes.
Moni, this service doesn't work
if the interpreter is deaf too.
(Snorts) It's not quite that bad.
- Getting worse, though? - Please don't tell anybody.
I need this job.
(Skype ringtone) - Thank you.
(Ringing dial tone)
PHONE: You've called Phone Fuck.
Which ones of our sluts do you want?
- I beg your pardon? - This is Phone Fuck.
Which girl do you want to speak to, hon?
Can I just put you on hold for a second?
Hello? Who do you want to talk to?
Sorry, my name is Monica. I'm calling from Video Relay...
I don't care, sweetie. Just tell me
who you want to talk to and I'll put you through, OK?
Yes, sorry, hold on.
- What are the options? - Depends what you're into.
What have you got?
Lesbian, straight sex, domination, blondes,
interracial, deep throat, chubbies, trannies,
cougars, swingers, Asians, gang bang,
big tits, small tits,
double penetration, triple penetration,
squirting, arse to...
(Silence)
..midgets, barely legal, Gonzo,
bukaki, anal, you tell me,
we've got different girls for different things.
- Straight blonde, please. - Connecting you now.
(Ringing dial tone)
(Sexily) Hey, this is Sonya. Who's this?
Hi, this is Monica calling from...
You sound really cute, Monica. I don't normally do girls
but I'm so horny tonight, I'll make an exception.
No, no, sorry, no. No. I'm calling from Video Relay.
My name is Monica. I have a caller on the line
that uses sign language and I'll be interpreting the call
for both of you tonight.
(Roughly) What?
If you talk to me, I will sign to the caller who's deaf
and he will sign back to me and I will talk to you.
He's deaf?
Yes, that's right, he's deaf.
So he can't hear me?
No, he can't hear anything, he's... deaf.
But he can see your hand signs of everything I say?
Yes, sign language. That's right.
I know a couple of words in sign language.
I know 'cunt face' and 'sunrise'.
Can he see me? Like, what I'm doing?
No, nobody can see you.
He can see me. You're just on a regular phone.
Right, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
- What does he look like? - Um...
He's cute... I guess?
Look, can we just get started, please?
Sorry, what was his name again?
It'll be easier if you talk to me as if I'm him.
(Sexily) What's your name?
- Sam. - Fuck, that's slow.
Yeah, sorry, there's going to be a lag.
What are you doing up so late, Sam?
Just finishing some work. You?
I was waiting for you to call.
MONICA: What are you wearing?
Pink bra and panties. What are you wearing?
- Just boxer shorts. - Is he?
No, he's wearing a hoodie...
Why don't we take those little shorts off?
Sorry, can you hang on for one second?
Oh, shit.
Am I still holding? What the fuck?
Oh, my God, yes, I'm so sorry. Um...
Can you repeat what you said last?
I said, why don't you take your shorts off?
Fuckin' hell, man.
- Uh, his shorts are off. - Are you hard?
Sorry, what do you mean by that?
Oh, fuck! It's hard to get a run on here.
- Ask him is his dick's hard. - Yeah, of course. Um...
Uh, yes, yes, yes. Sorry, yes, it is.
(Sighs) You want to put your big, hard cock in my mouth?
Wow, can we just assume he's gonna say yes to that?
Well, did he say yes?
Uh, I reckon he will so can we just imagine
he's popped it all in there and wrap this up?
- Just fucking ask him, mate. - Wow. Killing me. Um...
Wow. He said yes. Huh! What a shock.
What do you want me to do now, lover?
Hello? What does he want me to do now?
We're having a few technical difficulties here.
Can I just put you on hold again?
- Yeah, yeah. Fuckin' hell. - Thank you.
- Hello, you there? - Yeah, are you there?
I mean, who's the guy? What the fuck's going on?
Sorry, I'm just going to backtrack.
Earlier, he said, please to spit on his penis
to make it all slippery.
(Bell ringing) - OK.
Tell him I spat on it,
there's spit everywhere, it's as slippery as fuck.
What's the problem?
He wants to... Oh, my God.
He wants to put his penis in you... your vagina.
- Mm-hm. - Your wet vagina.
Mmm, oh, fuck, yeah.
Oh, I'm dripping wet.
Oh, that feels good.
I want your big, hard cock to fill me up.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck. So deep, it hurts.
You have to eat it, OK?
You can spit it out as much as you want
but you still have to eat it.
You're just gonna make yourself dirty and sticky,
Nanna, and then I have to clean it up.
I'm... I'm so sorry, I'm lost. What does he have to eat?
Oh, shit! Don't tell him that. I'm just talking to my nan.
And don't tell him that either.
Listen, can I...? I gotta do something.
Could you, um, could you keep him talking
just for, like, one minute?
- Definitely not. - (Moans)
Can you hear that? It's my nan, OK?
She's had a stroke.
She's fucked. I need these calls.
I need the money. Just for one minute.
It's easier than it looks, honestly.
Please?
- Fine. - Thank you, thank you.
OK, great. So just tell him heaps of stuff
about how good his dick is and how you want...
(High-pitched hum) - Oh, God.
Hello? Hello?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Would you like him to fuck you hard or slow?
Why would you ask in the first place?
He would like to fuck you hard, actually.
SONYA: Hey, I'm back. - Oh, God!
- Thank you, help me. - Where are we at?
Uh, you are being fucked from behind.
- Hard, in the arse, I think? - Well, that was quick.
I know, that's what I said.
OK, um, can you tell me what to say next, please?
Tell him it's the biggest dick I've ever had.
Um, and next?
Does he want to put it in my mouth?
It's just been in your arse.
So?
OK.
(Laughs)
SONYA: What?
What's fucking funny?
(Laughs)
This is a fucking prank, isn't it?
(Laughs) It's really not.
- Um, he wants to hang up. - Well, did he come?
(Continues laughing)
(Dead dial tone)
♪ May these words be the first to find your ears
♪ The world is brighter than the sun
♪ Now that you're here
♪ Though your eyes will need some time to adjust
♪ To the overwhelming light surrounding us
♪ I'll give you everything I have
♪ I'll teach you everything I know
♪ I promise I'll do better
♪ I will always hold you close
♪ But I will learn to let you go
♪ I promise I'll do better
♪ I will soften every edge
♪ I'll hold the world to its best
♪ And I'll do better
♪ With every heartbeat I have left
♪ I will defend your every breath
♪ And I'll do better
♪ 'Cause you are loved
♪ You are loved more than you know
♪ I hereby pledge all of my days
♪ To prove it so
♪ Though your heart is far too young to realise
♪ The unimaginable light
♪ You hold inside. ♪
(Engine stalls)
MAN: Car trouble? - Yeah.
Can I give you a lift anywhere?
Um, no, it's fine. Thanks.
- Sure? - It's fine, I'm sure.
- Thank you. - Alright. Good luck!
Actually, wait... Wait, please!
Thank you!
Thanks.
(Faint music from car)
- Thank you. - No problem. Don't be silly.
Thank you, though. I really appreciate it.
My pleasure.
I need to get over the bridge, if that's OK.
- Easy-peasy. - Thank you.
Um...
Oh, um, actually,
I left the bonnet of my car open, so I'll just...
No, no, stay there. I'll get it.
Thanks.
(High-pitched humming)
Do you want me to get anything else from the car?
(Faint music)
DEAN MARTIN: ♪ Two sleepy people
♪ By dawn's early light
♪ And too much in love to say goodnight
♪ Here we are
♪ In the cosy chair
♪ Picking on a wishbone
♪ From the Frigidaire
♪ Two sleepy people... ♪
(Music overlap)
THE HOLLIES: ♪ So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep
♪ Sometimes
♪ All I need is the air that I breathe
♪ And to love you
♪ All I need is the air that I breathe
♪ Yes, to love you
♪ All I need is the air that I breathe. ♪
Captions by CSI Australia
MISTER AND SUNBIRD: ♪ Lush Like You
♪ The sweetest twist
♪ Lush like you
♪ A long-dead list
♪ Well, honey, they were lush, lush too
♪ Hot and fierce
♪ Lush like you
♪ I can't stand up because I'm lush like you
♪ Delirious mist, lush like you
♪ We're driving, I insist
♪ Honey, till the sky turns blue
♪ Look at me shiver
♪ Lush like you
♪ There's an underground river and I'm lush like you
♪ Her character's neat She's never indiscreet
♪ Be gentle with the babe because she's lush like you
♪ Cats and kittens, muffins and mittens
♪ Everybody's smitten with the lush like... oh...
♪ A cease or desist
♪ A patience at the tryst
♪ You got to open up and kiss
♪ If you want the lush life too... ♪