你好 我叫Sean Anders 是<破處之旅>的編劇兼導演 Hello, my name is Sean Anders. Screenwriter and director of Sex Drive.
嗨 John 剛剛沒看見你 Hi, John. I didn't see you there.
- 這位是John Morris - <破處之旅>的編劇兼製片 - This is John Morris. - Screenwriter and producer of Sex Drive.
- 歡迎觀看完整版... - 未刪減... - Welcome to the unrated... - Uncircumcised...
版本的 ...edition of...
- 破處之旅 - 破處之旅 - ...Sex Drive. - Sex Drive.
你是否經常碰到這種事情? How many times has this happened to you?
你買了張所謂完整版的DVD和朋友一起看 當然了 只是和朋友 You purchase an unrated DVD to view with your friends. Only with your friends...
卻發現這僅比原來的片子多了一點點髒話 Only to find that you got the same old movie with a few extra curse words,
或許就是多了一兩個露點鏡頭 and maybe an additional tit or two.
- 真垃圾 - 還有... - What a jip. - And how...
但我們不會這樣 Not this time.
沒錯 John 對於這張完整版的DVD 我們能向你們觀眾 That's right, John. On this unrated DVD we promise you,
做出保證 the viewer,
這純粹是一場HIGH到極致的 完整版看片體驗 a genuinely wacky, zany and unrated viewing experience.
- 我們保證... - 而且我們保證有更多的咪咪 - We promise... - Plus, we promise more tits.
像這樣毫無保留的咪咪 Bare tits like these.
這咪咪真不錯 These tits are good.
還有更多像這樣的雞巴 Plus, more cock, like this.
真是根好雞巴 John That's good cock, John.
說得對 John 而且不止這些 我們保證會有很多補充場景 That's right, John, and that's not all, we promise lots of additional scenes,
刪減畫面以及其他讓片子儘量延長的元素 takes and other bullshit that will make the movie way too long.
而這是為你們定制的低水準製作的影片 And this means a lower standard of filmmaking for you,
- 觀眾們 - 觀眾們 - the viewer. - The viewer.
所以 如果你們之前沒看過<破處之旅> 說真的 So, if you've never seen Sex Drive before, please, for real,
請不要先看這個版本的 do not watch this version first.
先去看電影院上映的版本再回來看這個 Watch the real theatrical version and then come back and watch this one.
為什麼? Why?
因為這個版本會很糟 Yes, because this version of the movie is going to suck.
抱歉 我還是忍不住想告訴你 我也有這麼一個紋身 Sorry, but I couldn't help but notice you. I have this exact same tribal tattoo.
就在我的...背上 Mine's one my... It's on my back.
我在外面停著輛加長型車 要是你想去看看... But actually I have a town car outside if you wanna go see...
說真的 請先觀賞影院剪切版本後 再行觀看此僅供粉絲觀賞的完整版 NO, SERIOUSLY PLEASE ENJOY THE FILM VERSION OF THE FILM BEFORE WATCHING THIS SILLY FOR-FANS-ONLY VERSION
好吧 要不再來一遍吧 ANDERS: All right. Why don't you do one more?
我們兩周後要跟密歇根隊開戰 IAN: We open up against Michigan in two weeks.
教練正在對我加練舉重 Coach's got me hitting the bench pretty hard.
那你要舉多少? So, how much do you bench?
媽的 很多是多少? Shit. How much is a lot?
一...不 二 One... No, two.
將近300吧 I'm putting up three hundy.
好厲害 SWEET!
嘿 我又新貼了張照片出來 就給你一個人看哦 Hey.I just posted a NEW PIC just 4-U!
那就瞧瞧 Tasty Well, let's see, Tasty.
哇哦 你真是漂亮 我還沒見過... Wow, you're really pretty. I've never seen...
不 不能這麼說 No, stop it, stop it.
別TM這麼沒用 口氣要爺們些 酷一些 Don't be so fucking desperate. Come on, be a dick. Be cool.
別那麼娘 就說她是個醜八怪 MAN IMITATING VAN DAMME.; Don't be a pussy. Tell her she's an ugly skank.
還不賴 Not bad.
但我見過更火辣的 I've seen better.
混蛋! JERK!
算你走運 因為你還挺可愛的! :-) UR lucky UR so cute!:-)
好吧 隨便了 Yeah, whatever.
教練讓我們一天跑兩次 我要好好休息了 安 Coach's got us running two-a-days, so I gotta bounce.
好 等你明天訓練完再聯繫! 88 Cool. I.M. me tomorrow after practice! Bye.
Tasty小姐? 你怎麼進來的? Miss Tasty? How did you get here?
Ian 醒醒 基佬 再過20分鐘車就開了 Ian, wake up, faggot. Judge rolls in 20,
要是你想搭便車上班 最好馬上給我收拾好下來 so if you want a ride to work you better get your poop in a group.
- 好 我這就下來 - 不 現在就下來 Clay Aiken (第二屆"美國偶像"亞軍 去年剛出櫃的gay) - Okay, I'll be right down. - No. Now, Clay Aiken.
- 好吧 - 不 現在就下來 死玻璃 - All right. - No, now, homo.
- 就1分鐘 - 不... 我說現在 娘娘腔 - Just give me a minute. - No, no, no, no. Now, sissy.
- 再... - 不 給我下來 鴨子佬 - Just... - No, now, chode-stroker.
給我下來 雞巴 Now, ball bag.
- 嗷! 停手啦 - 知道痛了吧? - Ow! Cut it out. - Hurts, doesn't it?
吵死了! 我還要睡呢 Shut up! I'm trying to sleep.
嘿 大D 不好意思 繼續睡吧 你金貴著呢 Hey, Big D, sorry. Go back to sleep. You're golden.
- 你 快TM給我起來 - 再等1分鐘 - You, get your ass up. - Give me a minute.
你在被窩裏幹什麼呢 啊? What're you doing under there, huh?
在幹什麼呢? 是在打飛機麼? What're you doing? You're firing off your skin pistol?
快起來 有什麼見不得人的? Come on, get up. What are you hiding?
老二漲了老大了 是吧? You got a big fattie under there, don't you?
就是了 你還在打 我靠! Yeah, you do. You're stroking it, too. What the F?
你小弟還睡在旁邊呢 老天爺! Your little brother's sleeping not ten feet away. Jesus Christ!
很好 兒子們都在呢 Good. My boys are all here.
- 老爸 Ian在... - 別說話 Rex - Dad, lan's free... - Can it, Rex.
你們老爸有大事要宣佈 都給我豎起耳朵聽好了 Your pop's got a bombshell to drop, so ears open.
昨天晚上你們老爸我終於求婚了 Last night, your old man popped the question.
讓他們看看 Karen Show them, Karen.
我好開心 I'm so happy.
嘿 恭喜恭喜啊 Hey, way to go!
Ian 要不要下床 過來擁抱一下Karen? Ian, you wanna get off your duff and come over here and give Karen a hug?
- 對啊 Ian 快過來 這樣太沒禮貌了 - 等下再說行麼? - Yeah, lan, come on. You're being rude. - Can we do that later?
- nnd 快起來 Ian - 不 不 親愛的 沒事的 - Damn it, lan, get up... - No, no, honey. It's okay.
他需要時間來適應 We have to give him time to get used to the idea.
- Karen? - 沒事吧? IAN'S DAD: Karen? REX: Are you okay?
- Karen? Karen 親愛的? - 沒事吧? IAN'S DAD: Karen? Karen, honey? REX: You okay?
親愛的? Sweetheart?
怎麼有股精液的味道? What smells like jizz?
走了! 趕緊過來 小雞巴 Let's go! Kick it in the ass, dildo!
來啊 上車啊 上車啊 Come on, get in. Get in!
你好爛哦 REX: You suck!
好吧 不開玩笑了 別那麼娘了 快上車 Okay, seriously. Quit being such a fag and get in.
* Never go down So let's get it up *
Ian 我要問你個問題 直接回答 別繞圈子 Ian, I'm gonna ask you a question, and I want a straight answer.
- 你是不是玻璃? - 什麼? - You queer? - What?
- 真要命! 我就知道! - 我什麼都沒說呢 - God damn it! I knew it! - I didn't say anything.
確實 要是有人問你是不是死玻璃 Exactly. If someone asks you if you're a pole smoker,
你就得馬上否認 別遲疑 別說廢話 you just deny it, straight off. No pause, no farting around.
Rex 我不是同性戀 Rex, I'm not gay.
- 老爸覺得你是同性戀 - 什麼? - Dad thinks you're gay. - What?
- 你傷了那老傢伙的心了 - 不 我沒有 我告訴他我不是了 - You're breaking the old man's heart. - No, I'm not. I told him I'm not.
Ian 你都18了 可你連一個女朋友都沒有過 Ian, you're 18, and you've never had a girlfriend.
要知道 同性戀就是這樣煉成的 That's how people wind up getting gay, you know.
我想不是這樣吧 I don't think that's really how it happens.
不是這樣的? 那你告訴我是怎麼煉成的 專家 Is that not how it happens? So tell me how it happens, expert.
TMD雞巴專家 雞巴學家 Fucking cock expert. Cockspert.
嘿 你喜歡哪個 雞雞還是蛋蛋? Hey, what do you like better, the shaft or the balls?
- 你真噁心 - 你都喜歡是吧? - That's gross. - You like them both, don't you?
就好像一三五你喜歡又粗又大的雞巴 It's like, sometimes like, Tuesdays you want the big, old fucking shiny-ass cock,
二四六你就熱衷蛋蛋了 and Wednesdays and Thursdays you're on to the balls.
- 我不知道你在說什麼 - 很難選擇是吧? - I don't know why you're talking about it. - You can't choose, can you?
確實很難 你已經對其深深著迷無法自拔了 That's a tough one. You love it and you're obsessed with it.
你才是呢 是你一直在說 No, you are. You keep talking about it.
你幹嘛朝我笑? 我沒開玩笑 Why're you smiling at me? I'm serious.
別TMD對我笑 否則我把你扔出去 Don't fucking smile at me. You know I'll knock you out of this goddamn earth.
雞巴什麼味啊? What does it taste like?
比如說 你把嘴巴從那上面挪開的時候 Like, right when you take your mouth off and it's like kind of
你能在那濕潤的雞巴上看見自己的倒影 like you can almost see your reflection in that fucking cock.
用它抽打自己的臉 Smack you in the face with it a little bit.
- 不喜歡? - 我不... - You don't like that? - I don't eat...
不說了 就像是泛著光的硬雞巴 滾燙 青筋暴突的蘑菇形大龜頭 Just cut. Just like, shiny fucking stiff, hot vascular mushroom head.
聽著 男人都會對另一個男人產生性幻想 Look, every guy's got a fantasy about another guy,
但你得低調 這可TMD是在美國 but you got to bury that shit way down. This is America, God damn it.
是有個... 是有個姑娘 我... There is... There is a girl that I've been kind of...
好 我聽著呢 你在哪里遇到她的? All right, I'm listening. Where'd you meet her?
網上...網上認識的 On the... Online.
什麼? 老天啊 Ian 你不是在看Dateline吧? What? For fuck's sake, lan, don't you watch Dateline?
很有可能那是個男的 想用排氣管插你呢 She's probably a guy. Some fat old dude who wants to ram you in the tailpipe.
但你喜歡這樣對吧? 因為你是個死玻璃 But you'd love that, wouldn't you? 'Cause you're a homo.
嘿 Ian 等你回家的時候 別再那麼娘 Hey, lan. Try not to come home any gayer than you are now.
說真的 你就是個死玻璃 Seriously, though. You're a fag.
嘿 別這麼看我 當心我敲你喉嚨 Hey, don't look at me like that. I'll punch you in the goddamn throat.
(SINGING) Hey
What's your favorite song?
Maybe we could hum along
Well, I think you're smart, you sweet thing
Tell me your name, I'm dying here
Got you where I want you
Yeah
- 嘿 Becca 你好嗎? - 我很好 也就這樣 - Hey, Becca. How are you? - I'm good. I'm fine. Whatever.
嘿 Becca 看樣子你昨晚過得很HIGH啊 (CHUCKLING) Hey, Becca. Looks like you had a long, nasty night.
- Ron和Ian想玩4P - 隨便你們 你們男人真噁心 - Ron and lan want the four-one-uno. - Whatever. You guys are gross.
- 我可不噁心 我什麼都沒說呢 - 好吧 誰穿上行頭去發優惠券 - I'm not gross. I didn't say anything. - Okay, who's going on coupon rounds?
- 不 Becca 我昨天已經做過了 - 拜託了 Ian - No, Becca, I did it yesterday. - Please, lan.
我好愛你的 I love you so much.
你好 這張優惠券能買6個免費的... 不要? 好吧 抱歉 甜甜圈? 不要 Hello. This is a coupon for six free... No? Okay. Sorry. Donuts? No.
- 6個免費的甜甜圈加12個Bandito's - 謝謝 - Six free donuts with the Bandito's Dozen. - Thanks.
不用謝 對不起 You're welcome. Sorry.
不好意思 請問GAP店在哪兒? Excuse me. Do you know where the Gap is?
- 過了電影院就是 - 謝了 夥計 - It's just past the movie theater. - Thanks, man.
好吧 很好笑 Yeah, real funny.
免費甜甜圈 免費優惠券 Free donuts, free coupons.
Felicia 還合身嗎 親愛的? TIFFANY: Felicia. How's it fitting, hon?
你看上去...棒極了 Well, you look nice.
要知道 親愛的 在我結婚之前 還是有時間 You know, sweetie, there's still time to have your boobs done
來搞定你胸部的 before my wedding.
Darren已經跟我討論過了 他說費用他來 Darren and I already discussed them, and he said he'd pay for it.
我是說 他是個牙醫 所以對他來說只是小意思 I mean, he's a dentist, so it's totally not a big deal.
抱歉 請問這裏有沒有剪刀? Excuse me, do you have a pair of scissors?
哦! 當然了 親愛的 是不是哪里開線了? Oh! Sure, sweetie. Do you have a stringie?
哦 不是 我只希望 你能幫我割下脈 出手要快 Oh, no. I was just hoping you could slit my wrists for me quickly.
我丈夫去年聖誕就是這麼自殺的 My husband killed himself last Christmas.
真是抱歉 我只是... I am so sorry. I was just...
你好 這張優惠券能免費換6個甜甜圈 甜甜圈? Hello. This is a coupon for six free donuts. Donuts?
哦 老天啊! 你穿這身真性感 Oh, my God! You look so hot in that.
嘿 親愛的 聽著 別往心裏去哈 Hey, sweetheart, listen. Please don't take this the wrong way,
但就你這種賣力叫賣的方式 but your whole trying too hard thing,
會顯得你很賤 知道嗎? it's just coming across as needy, you know?
而我覺得你沒那麼糟 Kimberly And I think you're better than that, Kimberly.
- 我想說的是... - 噓--- 再換件大號的試試怎麼樣? - But all I was saying was that... - Shh! Let's see it in a large. Okay?
我是說 老天啊 我在外面給他買衣服呢 I mean, Christ, I'm out buying him clothes right now.
他都18歲了 這種事我沒必要再給他做了 He's 18 years old. I don't have to do that shit anymore.
聽著 Judy 我很抱歉 我聽不見了 現在進地道了 Look, Judy, listen, I'm sorry, I'm losing you. I'm going into a tunnel.
聽著 Lance 我是說真的 你媽還是TMD很生氣 Well, it's official, Lance, your mom's still bat-shit crazy.
什麼? 你是說她還不想跟我說話? What? You're telling me she doesn't shit-talk me?
說實話 不想 從來都不想 No, actually, she doesn't. She doesn't, ever.
好吧 讓我給你點建議 Lance All right. Let me give you some advice, Lance, all right?
千萬別結婚 因為那是無窮盡的謊言 Don't ever get married. Just an endless parade of horseshit.
不管你做什麼 兒子 看在上帝的份上 都要戴上套子 And whatever you do, man, always wear a rubber. Christ.
精闢 字字珠璣 Nice. Always classy.
嘿 得了 Lance 我沒有說... 得了 狗雜種 Hey, come on, Lance, I didn't mean it like... Come on, dawg.
嘿 先生 我給你的小女兒帶好吃的來了 Hey, sir. I've got something yummy for your little girl.
哦 老天 借過! 抱歉! Oh, my God. Excuse me! Sorry!
- Ian? 哦 老天啊 夥計 出什麼事了? - 不知道 - Ian? Oh, my God, dude, what happened? - IAN: I don't know.
我面前是不是又多了根雞雞加蛋蛋? Is there a cock and balls on the front of me again?
- 就像根小樹幹 - 謝謝 - Like a little tree trunk. - IAN: Thank you.
- 哇哦 你真漂亮 - 閉嘴啦 Ian! - Whoa. You look pretty. - God, shut up, lan!
怎麼了? 我只是說 你通常都穿得挺... 你真漂亮 What? I'm just saying, you usually dress so... You look nice.
Ian 幹嘛在跟我們說話的時候 都要通過這個變聲器? Ian, why do you got to work the mouth when you talk to us?
- 對啊 Ian - 抱歉 這...這是個習慣 - Yeah, lan. - Sorry, it's a... It's a habit.
嘿 那個女同事 Becca 今晚你會帶她來我的派對嗎? Hey, that girl you work with, Becca, you gonna bring her to my party tonight?
- 對我問了 她說不來 - 很好 夥計 她根本不適合你 - Yeah, I asked her. She said no. - Good. Dude, she's totally wrong for you.
每個人你都這麼說 That's what you say about everyone.
她又讓你穿這身該死的行頭了是吧? She made you wear the fucking costume again, right?
- 要知道 我不介意... - 夥計 要是你對她說死開 - You know, I don't mind... - Dude, if you told her to fuck off,
她就會服服帖帖的 日夜都想著你粗黑的雞巴 she'd be two knuckles deep right now daydreaming about your big black cock.
Ian 別聽他的 Ian, do not listen to him.
好吧 姑娘們都喜歡對她們好的男生 Okay, girls want a nice guy who's gonna treat them well.
- 真的? - 對 真的 - Really? - Yes. Really.
聽著 我想說的是人人希望有個小挑戰 Look, all I'm saying is everybody wants a challenge.
- 人人都想要... - 他們得不到的東西 我知道 我明白 - Everybody wants... - What they can't get. I know, I got it.
你明白? 我怎麼覺得好像在教小孩子走路一樣 Do you get it? 'Cause I mean, it feels like I'm teaching you to walk sometimes.
- 這沒用 - 對你就有用 - That shit does not work. - It works on you.
才沒有 No, it doesn't.
Felicia!
真討厭! 我得走了 惡魔表姐搞砸了整個週末 Balls! I got to go. Evil cousin's spending the weekend.
- 漂亮嗎? - Ian 她就是我的喪門星 - Pretty cousin? - Ian, she's the anti-Christ.
- 但她還是很惹火 - 去你的 再見 - She's still super hot. - Fuck you, too. See you.
Becca到底是怎麼回事? So what happened with Becca?
你有沒有在照我說的做 爺們一點? You been doing like I told you, being a dick?
嗯 差不多 爺們一點 只能說...還不夠 Yeah, kind of. Being kind of a dick. I'd say... No, not really.
我是說 我一直都在練習 I mean, you know, I've sort of been practicing
怎麼跟我網上認識的那個姑娘聊天時顯得爺們 your whole being-a-dick thing with this girl I met online.
- 我做到了 但我只是... - 謝謝 - And I get it, but I just... - Thanks.
我想現實情況下我做不到 I don't think I could do that for real.
夥計 你當然可以了 我相信你 Dude, sure you can. I believe in you, you know.
只是別想著一直做好人 You just got to stop worrying about being the good guy all the time.
好吧，我是說 看看那邊的Andy和Randy I mean, okay, look at Andy and Randy over there.
你覺得他們在乎女人怎麼看他們嗎? You think they care what women think about them?
他們也會在乎 They could give a fuck.
- 美女 美女 - 美女 美女 - What's up? What's up? - What's up, what's up?
嗨 我是來為厄瓜多爾的貧困兒童 募集捐款的 Hi. I'm collecting for the underprivileged children of Ecuador.
- 你們能奉獻點愛心嗎? - 不是很想 - Would you like to help? - Not really.
- 我們沒錢 - 沒工作 - We don't have any money. - No jobs.
想來參加派對嗎? You wanna party?
嗯... 我還在工作呢 Um... I'm kind of working right now.
- 幾時下班? - 對啊 接著去哪兒? - When are you done? - Yeah, what are you doing after?
今晚我要參加教堂的活動 I have a church thing tonight.
- 太好了 我們也來 - 對 在哪兒啊? - Kick ass, we'll come. - Yeah, where is it?
那裏會有你這樣的辣妹嗎? Is there gonna be more hot snatch like you there?
那些個傢伙純粹就是腦殘 根本別想有什麼進展 Those guys are total nards. They never get anywhere.
這只是因為他們不知道該怎麼做 That's just 'Cause they don't know how to close.
但他們非常有勇氣 But they're ability to open is fucking heroic.
- 你穿T字褲嗎? - 你想要我們脫光嗎? - Do you wear thong underpants? - Do you want us to take our shirts off?
- 你胸罩什麼顏色的? - 你媽夠惹火嗎? - What color bra are you wearing? - Is your mom hot, too?
對我有興趣嗎? Are you into me?
- 你住哪兒? - 你的車什麼顏色? - Where do you live? - What color car do you have?
- 你住哪兒? - 住址是什麼? - Where do you live? - What's your address?
- 想讓我們過來嗎? - 喜歡吃批薩嗎? - Do you want us to come over? - Do you like pizza?
我們去過家旅館 We've been to a motel.
- 死開 甜甜圈 - Rex 是我 - Fuck off, donut. - Rex, it's me.
這TMD到底是怎麼回事啊? What the fuck is this all about?
我把鑰匙折斷在更衣室的鎖孔裏了 自己的衣服拿不出來了 I broke the key off of our locker. I couldn't get my clothes out.
把那破玩意塞後備箱裏 老天啊 你看上去就像只墨西哥大P眼 Stow that shit in the trunk. Christ, you look like a Mexican butt-hole.
你真爛 REX: (LAUGHING) You suck.
哇哦 我不知道你會過來 Wow, I didn't know that you were coming over.
太好了 我還不知道你知道我住這裏呢 我是說... Cool. I didn't even know that you knew where I lived. I mean...
- 對 我知道 - 是啊 - Yeah, I do. - Yeah.
- 這麼說... - 哦! 真是很有意思 我折斷了... - So... - Oh! It's a funny story. I broke...
我折斷了鑰匙 Ron讓我借用... I broke my key off and Ron let me borrow the...
不管了 至少你改變主意了 這很棒 Anyway, so this is great. You changed your mind.
對了 派對要過幾個小時 Now, the party, it doesn't start
- 才開始呢 - 其實我是來找Dylan的 - for a few hours. - Actually, I was wondering if Dylan's here.
- Dylan? - 對 他住這兒嗎? - Dylan? - Yeah. Is he here?
- 我14歲的弟弟Dylan? - 對 - My 14-year-old brother Dylan? - Yeah.
- 內褲不錯啊 Ian - 啊哈 說得好 - DYLAN: Nice underpants, lan. - Snap! Dang, that was funny.
你知道他只有14歲嗎? You know he's 14, right?
Laura Cindy 這完全是免費的 我太喜歡了 Laura, Cindy, this shit is totally gratuitous. I love it.
- 嘿 恭喜 很高興見到你 - 嘿 - Hey, congrats. Good to see you. - Hey.
你想這麼做嗎? Is this the plan?
Ian 夥計 這裏大概有80個全身濕透的辣妹 別一個人坐在這裏當壁花了 Ian, dude, there's like 80 wet chicks here. Get off your wallflower ass.
- 你在抽雪茄嗎? - 對啊 - Are you smoking cigars now? - Yes.
- 嘿 Lance 內衣派對 - 我說 好沒禮貌哦 - Hey, Lance. Tight party. - Okay, rude.
你看我在跟他聊天呢 You can see I'm having a conversation here.
過幾分鐘再來找你好嗎? Now, I'll be with you in a few minutes, okay?
- 謝謝 - 我們很抱歉 - Thank you. - We're sorry.
- 別向她道歉 - 抱歉 - Don't apologize to her. - I'm sorry.
也別向我道歉 Don't apologize to me.
嘿 我要去看看Felicia在跟誰說話 Hey, I'm gonna go see who Felicia's talking to.
不 夥計 別理Felicia了好嗎? No, dude, forget Felicia, okay?
我知道你們是最好的朋友 I know you guys are BFF and all that shit,
但今晚就讓你的小雞巴見識下天日吧 but tonight's about getting that dick a little daylight.
嘿 Lindsay 親愛的 你上哪兒呢? Hey, Lindsay, sweetheart, where you going?
過來 我們還在聊呢 坐過來 Come here, we're not done. Get in here.
- 認識我哥們Ian嗎? - 不 不認識 - You know my boy lan? - Yeah. No. I don't know.
- 我以前給你家送過報 - 對啊 我媽很喜歡你 - You used to be on my paper route. - Okay, sure. My mom likes you.
別TMD說你媽喜歡Ian 看看他 他可是頭號大猛男 Fucking A your mom likes lan. Look at him. He's a big, bright crimson king. Right?
知道嗎? You know what else?
Ian還是個徹頭徹尾的處男 Ian is a bust-ass virgin.
抱歉 I'm so sorry.
希望這沒讓你不想跟他幹 Don't let that deter you from fucking him.
哦 不 我已經很HIGH了 我要去威斯康辛州大學讀書 Yeah. No, I'm pretty stoked. I got into the University of Wisconsin,
學獸醫專業 因為那裏可以... and I'm gonna go for veterinary medicine, 'Cause that's where...
- 你也要上大學了是嗎? - 玻爾得大學 - Are you gonna go to college? - University of Boulder.
很棒的派對學校 It's a great party school.
書上說他們有個很棒的天文學項目 You know, I read that they have a really great astronomy program.
我不知道你是不是因為這個去的或者... I don't know if that's what you're going there for or...
因為那裏地勢真的很高 星星能看得很清楚... Because it's really high elevation, and you can see the stars really well...
還有行星 Planets.
哇哦! 你在暗示嘛 很有暗示力 Wow! A little tip action there. That's really suggestive.
我不是說要你給我...好吧 I'm not saying that you're gonna do that on my, well...
如果你喜歡的話就一直弄我的手指好了 因為這樣感覺也很不錯 所以... You can just stick with my finger if you want 'Cause this feels great, so...
你真的很棒 都濕了 兩根都... You're really good at that. That's really wet. Two...
- Ian! 夥計! - 我... 我能失陪一會兒嗎? - FELICIA: Ian! Dude! - I'm... Could you excuse me for a second?
- 嘿! - 嘿! 你好? - Hey! - Hey! What up?
- 你在裏面做什麼呢 夥計? - 你在外面做什麼呢 夥計? - What are you doing in there, man? - What're you doing out here, man?
- 是我先問的 - 沒做什麼 - I asked you first. - Nothing.
我只是...我把啤酒翻在自己衣服上了 所以... No, I just... I spilled beer on my shirt, so then I had to...
- 我以為 有女孩在裏面 - 啊 是啊 我也想 - I thought you had, like, a girl in there. - Yeah, right. I wish.
好吧 那 你父母這週末是不是還要 So, okay. So, are your parents, like, still going
去那個Dylan的摩托車越野什麼的? to Dylan's motor-cross thing this weekend?
是 是 是 他們一早就去 Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all take off in the morning.
噢 太棒了 Okay. Awesome.
我的惡魔表姐快把我逼瘋了 所以我想 'Cause my evil cousin is driving me nuts, so, I don't know,
你認為 我到你那裏過週末如何? you think, like, maybe I could hang at your place this weekend?
好啊 過夜嘛 沒事 Yeah. Yeah, like a sleepover or something. It'll be fun.
噢天啊! 太感謝你了 嗨 我有個秘密 Oh, my God! Thank you so much. Hey, I have a secret.
- 噢 - 但這是女孩的秘密 所以... - Okay. - But it's like a girl secret, so...
- 你能保密嗎? 你確定? 好吧 - 嗯嗯 - Can you handle it? Are you sure? Okay. - Yeah.
嘿 WS男 滾開 Hey, Dibits, fuck off.
好了 那... 天啊 好傻呀 Okay, so I... Oh my God, this is so lame.
- 你這表現太女生了 - 我知道我知道 好吧 聽著 - Look at you acting like such a girl. - I know, I know. Okay, okay. Here it is.
我愛上了個男孩 I have a crush on someone, a boy, a guy.
噢? 誰啊? Yeah? Well, who is it?
別玩了 你比別人都瞭解我的 我賭你知道是誰 Come on, you know me better than anyone. I bet you know who it is.
來 猜猜 Come on, guess.
我想我知道了 I think I know.
我開玩笑呢 天啊! 我騙到你了 你太好騙 太好騙了! I'm kidding. Oh, God! I got you. You're so easy. You're so easy!
- 你是我最好的朋友 - 我知道 你也是我最好的朋友 - You're my best friend. - I know, and you're my best friend.
這就是為何我們親嘴會很搞笑 因為我們不會 That's why it's funny that we would kiss, because we wouldn't.
是誰啊? 到底誰是幸運的護花使者? So who is it? Who's the lucky caballero?
嗯... 其實沒有 Um... Nobody.
- 沒有? - 我... 我也是開玩笑的 - Nobody? - I... I was kidding, too.
- 這很有趣 - 可不是嘛 - That is funny. - It's hilarious.
- 太有趣了 - 很搞笑吧 - That is so funny. - That is so funny.
- 你要... - 啊 - You got... - Yeah.
- 好的 那... - 嗨! - All right. So... - Hey!
好殘酷哦 Harsh.
噢 過來 Ian LINDSAY: Well, come on, lan.
你知道嗎? 我很好 我只是... You know what? I'm good. I'm just gonna...
Ian 來吧寶貝 別害羞 lan, come on, baby. Don't be shy.
謝謝 不用了 看起來你兩手都挺忙的 No, thanks. It looks like you got your hands full there, so...
你確定不加入嗎 兄弟? MAN: Sure you don't want to get in on this, bro?
不 謝了 夥計 No, thanks, man.
看起來你們幾位大局在握 It looks like you fellows got it all under control.
我想我還是離開算了 你們好好玩 So I'm just gonna skedaddle. You all take care now.
Lindsay 代我向你媽問好 Lindsay, say hi to your mom.
好的 一會兒見 夥計 MAN: All right. See you later, buddy.
Ian 兄弟 你去哪? Ian. Dude, where you going?
嘿 Goldie 往旁邊挪挪 (CHUCKLES) Hey, Goldie, scoot over.
- 嗨寶貝 來派對嗎? - 我在派對上呢 - Hey, babe, you wanna party? - I'm at a party.
你該和我們一起 RANDY: You should pee on us.
幹嘛不照下來 Ian? ANDY: Why don't you take a picture, lan?
對啊 把它貼在"他媽的真帶勁.COM"網上 Yeah, and post it on Totalfuckingawesomeness. Com.
\我們說了算 Backslash-we-rule!
這是幹嘛? RANDY: Where'd you come up with that?
- 嗨 我能問你們個問題嗎? - 你不正問著麼 - Hey, can I ask you guys a question? - You just did.
- 我能問另外的問題嗎? - 你不還是問著嗎 - Can I ask you another question? - You just did again.
- 美女 可好? - 美女 可好? - What's up? What's up? - What's up, what's up?
好漂亮的頭髮 比我胯下的還好看 Nice hair. It'll look even better in my crotch.
- 夥計你去哪? - 別這樣 - Dude, where you going? - Come on.
發生什麼了? 什麼讓你不爽了? 像個男人點 What's going on? Something troubling you? Be a buddy.
- 我...我很好 沒事 - 你來過這個猴子 - I'm... All right, all right. - You got to get over the monkey.
你們怎麼會有勇氣去 調戲見到的每一個美女? Where do you guys get the confidence to, like, hit on every girl you see?
- 因為我們是攤屎 - 啊 你應該知道的 笨蛋 - 'Cause we're the shit. - Yeah, you oughts to know that, bitch.
- Felicia在哪? - Fel-ate-cha 哦 (與吃了你諧音) - So where's Felicia? - Fel-ate-cha. Yeah.
- 她在... - Fe-lay-cha! (與上你諧音) 你上她了? - She's in... - Fe-lay-cha! You banging her?
我們只是朋友 We're just friends.
- 我沒割過包皮 - 是啊 - I'm uncircumcised. - Yeah.
- 我插進去就硬了 - 是啊 - I'm into you and I'm hard. - Yeah.
- 嘿 我生來就是為了播種的 - 是啊 - Hey, I was born to fertilize. - Yeah.
- 我是消防隊員 - 滾開! - I'm a firefighter. - GIRL: Fuck off!
等等 我以為你帶她去舞會了 Wait, I thought you took her to prom.
啊 但那只是朋友間的聚會 Yeah, but it was a just-friends kind of thing.
你該上她的 換我們就會 You should bang her. We would.
兄弟 我們會狠狠上她的 ANDY: Dude, we would bang her so hard.
捏捏那屁股... We would take that ass and just...
對啊 給她說如果你不上 我們就幫你上 Yeah, tell her we'll bang her for you if you're not into it.
狠狠地 Yeah. Hard.
- 用我們的雞巴! - 對 我們的雞巴很大的 - With our dicks! - Yeah, our dicks are huge.
你從太空都能看見! 美女? You could see them from space! What's up?
- 美女好 - 嘿 有電話嗎? - What's up? - Hey, do you have a phone number?
你沒有 好吧 You don't. Okay.
我會從迪士尼給你打電話的 I'll call you from nationals.
- 說嘛 - 你是我的小油炸圈女孩 - BECCA: Say it. - You're my little donut girl.
- 拜 帥哥 - 喲 Ian - Bye, sexy. - Yo, lan.
- 想聞聞我的手指嗎? - 噢好的 - You want to smell my finger? - Yeah, okay.
你確定插對洞了? Are you sure you got the right hole?
小孩 Kids.
Ian 親愛的 橄欖球訓練如何? Ian, baby! How was football practice?
很棒 Awesome.
好愛你的車子 哪年的? I LUVyour CAR! What year is it?
嗯... 69的 Hmm... '69.
Mmmmmm 我可喜歡69了 Mmmmmmm…I LUV 69Z!
要不這樣 I have an IDEA.
開你的GTO車到Knoxville來找我 Drive that sweet GTO to Knoxville and C me
別像個女孩 要酷 Don't puss out. Be cool.
我不知道 I don't know.
這可是段很長的旅程 我的小甜餅! That is a long drive, my sugar biscuit!
甜餅? 天 我抽了 Sugar biscuit? God, I suck at this.
這樣吧 如果你為了我特意趕過來 Tell U what, If U come all the way 4 me…
I'LL GO ALL THE WAY WITH U！ 我就任憑你處置
偶滴神呀 Holy buckets.
她想跟我上床 She wants me to give her the D.
(SINGING) Well, honey
What ya got, Mr. Mans?
I got a lot of money
I don't see no keys in my hands
I just wanna nasty girl
Now tell me, is that nasty girl you?
Do you like what you see?
Could you be my nasty girl and let me do that dirty dance with you?
I can love you long time
(SINGING) I like 'em all in shapes and sizes
And it don't make no difference to me
If you're short, tall, big or small Long if there ain't no big surprises
Chances are you'll suit me to a T
最愛牛肉 Love beef.
Terry 電話 Terry, phone call.
夥計 你是不是也上我的健身課? 你叫什麼? Egan? Dude, weren't you in my gym class? What is it? Egan?
是 是 嗨 Jordan Yeah, yeah. Hey, Jordan.
哈哈 管它的 小胯 拳交是不會懷孕的 Right. Whatever, scrotch. You can't get your fist pregnant.
Russ 夥計 看這個 看看誰買了"雨衣" Russ, man, check it out. Yo, look who's buying jimmys.
需要禮品包裝麼 Egan? You want these gift-wrapped, Egan?
這樣就行了 Just ring it up, man.
Karen我幫你拿 Karen, let me have that for you.
爸 你對我的頭盔做了什麼? Dad, what did you do with my helmet?
Ian 甜心 我給你做了些巧克力豆餅幹 (類似趣多多) Ian, honey, I made you some tollhouse cookies.
我把這些放在這兒了 I'll just leave these here for you.
我一會兒吃 I'll get them later.
在母牛裏有40美元的娛樂資金 There's $40 in the cow for fun money,
注意安全 還有很抱歉我沒敲門 so be safe and sorry I didn't knock.
隨時都行 這是你的家了 Anytime. It's your home now.
你怎麼了啊? 你買避孕套了? What is going on with you? You bought rubbers?
- 你怎麼知道? - Russ Miller的博客上有 - How did you know that? - It's on Russ Miller's blog.
我的天! 這不過是 11分鐘前的事 Jesus! That was, like, 11 minutes ago.
怎麼回事? 夥計 What's the deal? Dude.
她想我今晚去Knoxville的Big Boy餐廳見她 IAN: She wants me to meet her tonight at the Big Boy in Knoxville.
這明明就是要你去幹她的網上邀請啊 This is a fucking written invitation to your dick from the Internet.
說真的 哥們 打包 我們去Knoxville Seriously, dude, pack your shit. We're going to Knoxville.
不 別這樣 把這個放回去 No. Stop it. Put these back.
她是那種... This is the type of girl who has...
她把它剃光成跑道一樣 She has it shaved into a landing strip.
我對跑道沒轍的 I can't deal with a landing strip.
好吧兄弟 你不知道 我是說 她那邊可以承受任何人的 Okay, dude, you don't know that. I mean, she could have anything under there.
可能是小希特勒 或是噁心的喬巴卡(星戰裏面的大猩猩) There could be a little Hitler or just a full, nasty Chewbacca.
我覺得這女的還蠻嫩的 But I'm guessing this chick is baby fresh.
你知道嗎 她根本不是想要我 她想要他 You know, she doesn't even want me. She wants him.
對不起 這很好 沒問題 I'm sorry. This is good. This is fine.
我是說 這看起來還是像你 眼睛部分 I mean, that looks like you. Like the eyes.
搞不好 她是個男人 Tasty's probably a guy, anyway.
可能 但如果她不是呢? Maybe. But what if she's not?
你知道 我是說 看 你已經開了個頭 我幫你結束 You know, I mean, look, you've already opened, and I could help you close.
我們只需要一樣東西 We just need one thing.
Ian 看看這個 我是說 你開輛69年的GTO Ian, just look at this. I mean, you roll up in a '69 GTO,
她會在Big Boy的停車場對你刮目相看的 she's gonna drop an egg right there in the Big Boy parking lot.
嗨Ian 過來幫幫我 Hey, lan, come give me a hand with this.
這兒 把皮帶拉緊 鉤上 Here. Strap that end down. Tight.
- 繩子太短了 - 使點勁 粉撲 - The cord's too short. - Put a little sack into it, powder puff.
- 很好 謝謝了兄弟 - 嗯 - All right. Thanks, little brother. - Yeah.
我是不是聽到你說想借車的? Did I hear something about you wanting to borrow my car?
不 不 沒事 謝謝你 謝了 No, no, it's fine. Thanks. Thank you.
你確定? You sure?
你是我弟弟 Ian 你只需要問就是了 You're my little brother, lan. All you gotta do is ask.
這週末我能借你的The Judge車嗎? Could I use The Judge this weekend?
白癡 The Judge是我的最愛 我不會讓你染指它的 Fuck-stick, I wouldn't let you drive The Judge if it was parked on my shnuts.
- 我們走 老爸 - 什麼事啊 - REX: Let's go, Dad. - What a dick.
你該依自己的原則開走它 You should take his car just on principle.
你知道你是想我幹什麼嗎? What do you want me to do, you know?
沒鑰匙怎麼個啟動法? 我連那是什麼意思都不知道 I mean, I doubt I can hot-wire it, since I don't even know what that means.
你在幹嘛? What are you doing?
不 Lance別! 放回去 你聽到他說的了? 拜託 No. Lance, no! Put it back. Did you just hear him? Please.
過來 我們談談 Come here, we're gonna have a talk.
她僅僅在9小時車程外的地方 好嗎? She's only nine short hours away, okay?
我們晚上就能到 你就能如願了 We're gonna head down there tonight and you're gonna put a dent in that shit.
Ian要去征服 像錘肉一樣 Ian's gonna treat it like it's meat that needs tenderizing.
用他的雞巴 而不是錘子 With his dick instead of a hammer.
直到流血才停手 You can pound it till it bleeds.
只不過是個女孩 我們能... Yeah, it's just a fucking girl's mess, and then we're gonna be...
- 你們在幹嘛? - 還在錄呢 - What're you doing? - MAN: Still rolling.
誰去插它? 跟我說 Ian會去插它 Who's gonna pound on it? Say it. Ian's gonna pound on it.
我們明天在Rex得知車不見了之前回來 We're back tomorrow before Rex even knows the car is gone.
現在聽著 這些金髮性感女需要 你用大學級別的技巧去幹 Now, listen, these girls at Madison are gonna be fucking at a college level.
你要準備好 I need you ready for that.
等等! 把它... 放回去 Wait! Put it... Put it back.
這兒 Back here.
看在上帝份上 你倆就不能消停5分鐘? For God's sake. You two rump rangers couldn't wait five minutes?
我告訴她這週末可以呆在這兒 I told her she could stay here this weekend.
兄弟 這怎麼了? 你怎麼開著Rex的車? Dude, what the hell? Why are you driving Rex's car?
我以為我... I thought me and...
- 你是不是想放我鴿子? - 不 - Are you bitching out on me? - No.
- 不是的 - 不是 - No. - No.
好吧 那我們是去哪兒? Good. Well, then where are we going?
呃... 田納西州Knoxville Um... Knoxville, Tennessee.
好吧 我給我媽說一下 Okay. I'm gonna go tell my mom.
好 你不會是... 真棒 Okay. Are you gonna... Awesome.
夥計 你想怎樣? Dude, what the fuck?
- 我不想她一個人 - 真的? - I don't want her along. - Really?
你不會是想帶Yoko一起去破處之旅吧? You don't want to bring Yoko on your sex trip?
是啊 她總是擋你的道 Yeah, no shit. She's always cock-blocking you.
不 她沒有 她甚至... No, she isn't. She doesn't even have a...
好吧 蠢貨擋著了 Okay, twat blocking.
教授 Professor.
你什麼時候回來? FELICIA'S MOM: When will you be coming back?
不 明天 No, tomorrow.
- 什麼時候? - 不 再見! 我的天 - FELICIA'S MOM: When? - No. Bye! God.
一路小心! FELICIA'S MOM: You guys drive safe now. Bye!
田納西州有什麼? So, what's in Tennessee?
我祖母得了癌症 My grandma has got some cancer.
- K祖母? - 她很好 - Grammy K? - IAN: She's fine.
她會永生 噢 很長時間 She's gonna live forever. Well, a long time.
是 你知道...我是說 怎麼稱呼來著? It's, you know... I mean, what is it called?
- 足癌 - 她得了足癌 - It's foot cancer. - She's got a little foot cancer.
她很快就只能單腳跳了 She'll be hopping around in no time.
那她去田納西幹什麼? So what's she doing in Tennessee?
噢! 呃...那有個癌症中心 Oh! Um... Well, there's this kick-ass cancer center there.
- 是的 - 嗯 它...很有名 - Yeah. - Yeah, it's like... It's famous.
- 嗯 - 如果你也得了癌症 - Yeah. - So if you ever get any cancer,
就可以考慮去那邊瞧瞧 you should totally check it out.
要我就會 I would.
走80號州際公路朝東 然後轉65穿過印第安那 LANCE: So you want I-80 East and then 65 goes all the way through Indiana.
- 感覺如何? - 什麼? - So how's it feel? - IAN: What?
我不知道 破壞規矩 說胡話 開The Judge車? I don't know, breaking the rules, talking some shit, driving The Judge?
感覺不錯 It feels pretty good.
(SINGING) I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw
I'm in the prime of my life
Let's make some music, make some money Find some models for wives
This is our decision To live fast and die young
We've got the vision Now let's have some fun
I said, yeah, yeah, yeah
這傢伙想比比 This dude wants to race.
來啊 女士們 Let's go, ladies.
Lance! 別! 得了 你不知道誰在裏面 Lance! Cut it out! Come on, you don't know who's in there.
夥計 就算史蒂夫·麥奎因的僵屍在裏面 我都無所謂 (已故動作片明星) Dude, I don't care if fucking Steve McQueen's zombie corpse is in that car.
我拒絕被看起來像是垃圾車的車羞辱 I refuse to be embarrassed by a car that looks like a Trapper Keeper.
我不會用我哥的車去比賽 I am not racing in my brother's car.
見鬼 IAN: Holy shit.
這TMD是什麼? What the hell is that?
看起來像塔可鐘的大雜燴 Looks like a Nachos BeIIGrande.
還有chalupa燴肉 And a chalupa!
右邊! Go right!
- 把刮雨器打開! - 開著的 FELICIA: Turn the wipers on! IAN: They are on.
沒用! FELICIA: They're not working!
拜託 別對我叫 我已經盡力了 IAN: Please, don't yell at me. I'm doing the best I can.
- 有房車! - 哪兒? - Winnebago! - IAN: Where?
房車! 房車! Winnebago! Winnebago!
我的天 你還好嗎? Oh, my God, are you all right?
好吧 沒人來幫忙 我能搞定 Yeah, nobody offer to help. I got this under control.
- 你還好吧? - 我看起來像是好嗎? 見鬼! - Are you all right? - Do I look like I'm all right? Fuck!
你知道什麼能讓你好過點嗎? 2號站加40塊錢的油 You know what might make you feel better? Putting 40 on pump two.
嗨 你還好吧? Hey. You okay in there?
天啊! 大牙都快咬斷了 God damn! My back teeth are snorkeling.
爽啊 Sweet relief.
你尿不出來? You got the shy bladder?
膀胱害羞症 他們這樣說的 Paruresis. That's what they call it.
讓我告訴你 你叫什麼 Let me tell you something. I didn't catch your name.
It's Ian.
讓我告訴你 Ian 我有個絕招 Let me tell you something, lan. I had it something fierce.
你能做到 Ian 你能做到的 You can do it, lan. You can do it.
跟著你姐跑 Go running down by your sister.
對不起 女士 這是我的油 Excuse me, ma'am, that was my pump.
是嗎? 過號不候 懂不懂 Yeah? You move your meat, you lose your seat. Hmm.
Logan 別吃那個 你會敗胃的! Logan, do not eat that. You will fuck up your appetite!
聽著 Reba Listen, Reba.
如果你還想保住剩下的牙齒 最好馬上停下 If you value the rest of your teeth, you will shut off that pump.
我給我爸說 "你知道嗎? 你不是我老大 So I tells my daddy, " You know what? You're not the boss of me.
"你不是 Angie也不是" 就是我剛說的那個女孩 "Not you, not Angie," that's that girl I was telling you about.
"還有我的膀胱也不是" "And sure as hell not this bladder of mine."
他看著我 你真該... Well, he looked at me, and you should have...
Ian 你去哪? 別放棄哈 lan. Where you going? Don't give up.
天啊 我已經尿一小時了 Jesus. I've been pissing for an hour.
- 這個用來收藏 - 真酷 謝謝 - Another one for the collection. - Cool. Thanks.
怎麼了? What?
沒事的Brandy 沒事寶貝 別哭 It's okay, Brandy. It's okay, baby, don't cry.
Lance 你幹嘛呢? Lance, what are you doing?
夥計 你真該為自己羞愧 Dude, you should be ashamed of yourself,
因為我正試圖向另一個人類展示同情 because I'm just trying to show another human being a little compassion.
和我的雞巴 And my dick.
沒事的寶貝 放心哭吧 It's okay, baby. Just let those tears fall.
知道為什麼嗎? 因為我們的愛會擦幹它們的 You know why? 'Cause our love will dry them up.
愛會讓我們活下去 就像那首歌一樣 你知道那首歌嗎? Love will keep us alive. Just like that song. You know that song?
現在是我們的歌了 它代表了我們的關係 That's our song now. That song represents our bond.
Don Henley的詞表現了我們的愛 Don Henley's words represent our love.
你還有什麼? What have you got?
嗨孩子們 你們打哪兒來? Hey, kid, where you from?
- 從芝加哥來 我是說 芝加哥週邊 - 你倆結婚沒? - I'm from Chicago, I mean, outside Chicago. - Are you two married. No?
- 不 我們只是朋友 我們是朋友 - 你倆很般配 - No, we're just friends. We're amigos. - You make a good couple.
她很可愛 和她結婚吧 She's pretty. Marry that girl.
看到我和我的老伴沒 我倆永遠在一起 See my lady and I here, we've been married forever.
告訴你們 她以前很漂亮 And I tell you she was gorgeous.
我看到她的第一天 我就告訴自己 "這將會是我的妻子" The first day I saw her, I said, "This is gonna be my wife."
你們知道嗎? 我做到了 And you know what? It happened.
告訴你們 那是玉米的豐收年 I tell you, that was a very good year for corn.
我賺了很多錢 Made lots of money.
我修了我的4X4越野車 給我女人買了件性感的法國睡衣 I fixed my 4X4 and bought my lady a sexy French lingerie.
那是我花得最值得的6美元 Boy, those were the best six bucks I ever spent.
你倆想來罐紫玩意兒嗎? (此處被理解成了大麻) You kids want to help yourself to a can of Purple?
- 紫玩意兒聽起來很不錯 Ian 紫玩意兒? - 嗯 我去拿 - Purple sounds great, lan. Purple? - Yeah, I can go...
我說 男孩還在啊? Say, the boys still hanging?
- 你有試過薄荷口味沒? - 沒有 來試試 - You ever had a peppermint fatty? - No. Let's have that.
看看感覺如何 See how that shoe fits.
哇哦 你好嫺熟呀 Oh my God. Do you have a degree in this?
逃跑者一旦翻過牆 You know that thing, when runners say they break the wall?
前途就一片光明 You know, and it's all good after that?
弟弟在你嘴裏 就是這種感覺 I feel like that when my dick's in your mouth.
原來是紫色蘇打水 It actually says Purple Soda.
你真壞 BRANDY: Bad boy.
你喜歡他 對吧? You like him, don't you?
- 什麼? 喜歡誰? - Lance 他就是讓你著迷的男生 - What? Who? - Lance. I mean, he's the crush, right?
是呀! 我喜歡Lance 因為他特性感 Oh, yeah! I like Lance, 'Cause he's so hot.
我想給他生孩子 總之... I wanna have his baby, he's... Whatever.
- Brandy! - 啊哦! RICK: Brandy! FELICIA: Uh-oh!
Brandy! 靠! Brandy! Shit.
- 你好 - 你好 - Howdy. - Howdy.
McBroom先生 夫人 Brandy TMD在哪? Mr. McBroom. Ma'am. Where the fuck's Brandy at?
- 你聽說過"旋轉棕色冰激淩"嗎? - 沒 試一次吧 - You ever hear of a rolling brown-out? - No. Let's try it.
你真白淨 You bleach that.
不要 不要棕色冰激淩! 不要棕色冰激淩! 不要! Wait. No, no, no, no! Nothing brown! Nothing brown! Nothing brown!
你想怎麼樣? 打女人嗎? What're you gonna do? Hit a girl?
不 但我會把他的屁股打開花 No, but I'm gonna pummel his ass real good.
你讓開 There you go. There you go.
上帝啊 I have to go to church.
親愛的 開門! 快開門啊! Come on, baby! Open the goddamn door!
別這樣 不是你想的那樣 這是個學校項目 All right, this is not what it looks like. It was a project for school.
紫色蘇打水! Purple Soda!
香腸! Wiener!
找到你了 There you are.
拜託拜託 我可不想光著屁股翹掉 Come on, come on. I do not want to die naked.
操你! 你個狗娘養的! Fuck you! Motherfucking son of a bitch!
給我站起來 你個死賤人! Get on your feet, you motherfucking pussy!
我只問你一次 你有沒有和她做愛? I'm gonna ask you this just one time. Did she give you the nugget?
等等! Hey, hold on!
幫幫忙 我對她沒興趣 Come on, man, she's not worth it.
她想在我身上排泄 天哪 She's just gonna shit all over you. Trust me.
- 屁眼也不放過? - 沒有沒有! - She touch your butthole? - No, no. Jesus, no!
- 說實話! - 我以為他是男人 我是同性戀 - Let's see! - I thought she was a man. I'm gay.
我真的是同性戀 I'm gay as hell.
吃我一棒 混蛋! Eat bat, dickhead!
Ian 你撞死人了 Ian just killed that guy.
喂? 天哪 對不起 你沒事吧? Sir? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Are you all right?
我有保險 對不起 我們從鄉下來 Look, I have my insurance card. I'm sorry. We're from out of town.
玉米擋了我的視線 對不起 I couldn't see you through the corn. I'm sorry.
- 路在哪里? - 好像是左邊 IAN: Where the hell's the road? FELICIA: It feels like left.
我告訴你我們要趕路 IAN: I told you we didn't have time for this,
- 你就光顧自己痛快 - Ian - but all you care about is your stupid dick. - Ian.
我們在外面 只好喝她母親的怪蘇打 And you leave us out there with her mom's weird soda.
- Ian - 她父親的蛋蛋都跑到外面來了... - Ian. - And her dad's balls in plain view...
Ian Ian 小心啊! lan, lan, whip a shitty!
RICK: Motherfucker!
哇哦! 你太帥了! Holy fucking shit! That's how you do that!
Ian 你開得棒極了 Lance 你真衰! Oh, my God, lan, amazing driving. Lance, you suck!
- 我們現在在哪? - Google地圖呢? FELICIA: Where the hell are we? IAN: Where are the Google maps?
- 在我的褲子裏 - 褲子在哪? - They're in my pants. - Which are?
在拖車房裏 In the trailer.
好樣的 Mmm-hmm. Great.
見鬼 毛上粘了個口香糖 Shit. I got gum in my bush.
帶上他 說不定可以帶我們上高速 Hey, pick this guy up. Maybe he can show us back to the highway.
- Ian 別理這種搭便車的 - 放心 我不理他 - Ian, do not pick up a hitchhiker. - Don't worry, I won't.
謝謝讓我搭車 我等了幾個小時了 Hey! Thanks for the lift, man. I've been out there for hours.
沒人停車 什麼世道? Not one car. Can you believe it?
- 先生 我們... - 你們是好人 - Listen, sir, we didn't... - You're good people.
- 你沒穿褲子 - 我知道 - Guy, you're not wearing any pants. - Yeah, I know.
還是穿上好 Right on.
走吧 我們出發 Let's go. We better go.
行李上車了 Hey, you got my stuff.
夥計們 這個女孩什麼來頭? Hey, real quick, guys, what's the story of the girl?
- 我今年25歲 - 聽不懂他的話 - I'm 25 years old. - I don't know what he's talking about.
沒找到 這裏沒酒吧 車子可能要加點水 I got nothing. There's no bars. You know, it probably just needs water.
行李箱裏有嗎? Got any in the trunk?
親愛的 男人們在討論呢 我們能想出辦法 Hey, sweetheart, men are talking. We got this one.
謝謝提醒 我弟弟的車出過同樣故障 Yeah, thanks, but this happened to my brother's car once
- 辦法就是在散熱器裏小便 - 真的嗎? - and you just piss in the radiator. - Really?
- 你沒事吧? - 見鬼 沒事 - Are you okay? - Fuck. Yeah.
吃一塹長一智 LANCE: That's a lesson learned.
如果你喜歡 你可以看著 You can watch, if you're into that kind of thing.
謝謝 看你弟弟一整天了 膩味了 Wow, thanks, but I think we've all seen your dick enough for one day.
- 聽見了嗎? 有鈴聲 - 你的損失哦 像是剃鬚刀 - IAN: Do you hear that? There's a ringing. - Your loss. It's like razor blades.
什麼? 下麵有螞蟻 IAN: What? There's ants down here. FYI.
起來吧 開始吧 All right, you're up. Grip it and rip it.
好的 走開 Okay. Go away.
你開玩笑吧? 真的? 我以為你長大了 Dude, seriously? Still? I thought you got over this shit.
你是成年人了 You're a grown man.
小河水 細細流 小河水 細細流 (WHISPERING) Flowing river, gentle stream. Flowing river, gentle stream.
- 怯場男孩兒 好了嗎? - 見鬼 Lance 馬上好 - Yo, stage fright, how're we doing? - Damn it, Lance, just give me a minute.
打攪 需要你往散熱器裏尿一下 Excuse me. We kind of need you to pee in the radiator.
- 為什麼? - 我們都已經尿過了 - Why? - We just do.
抱歉 我幾分鐘之前剛放過 I'm sorry. I just took a squirt a couple of minutes ago.
大號的要不? You want me to shit in it?
- 需要的時候再找你 - 好的 - We'll get back to you on that one. - All right.
- 想要大號 我現在就可以 - 很好 - I'm telling you, I could shit right now. - Awesome.
這位新朋友沒存貨了 Our new friend's got nothing left in the tank.
幹嘛? What?
不行 我可沒那准心 No. Guys, come on. I don't have the aim that you do.
多一滴水多一點希望 Every drop helps so much.
看我在包裏找到了什麼 Hey, look what I found in my bag.
謝天謝地 Thank God.
- 別啊! - 你幹什麼? - No! - What the fuck are you doing?
等20分鐘 我就有尿了 You all just wait 20 minutes and I'll top it off for you.
也可能10分鐘 Could be ten.
算了 我來吧 你們要是膽敢偷窺 Fine, fine. Okay. But if any of you pervs peek,
你們就死定了 I swear to God it will be your last conscious act.
孩子們要幫忙嗎? You kids need some help?
我很好 還遇上了四口之家 Yeah, I'm great. I just beaved a family of four.
試試 Try it.
好了嗎? All set?
抱歉 我們不能帶你 Look, I'm sorry, sir, but we can't give you a ride.
我只說一遍 I'm gonna say this once.
你把車打開 否則上帝作證 You unlock this fucking car, or God is my witness,
我把你們都綁起來 I'll stake you all to the ground,
切開肚皮 喂狗吃 cut you open and let the dogs get at you.
- 怎麼回事? - 掛掉了 LANCE: What happened? IAN: It's stuck.
計畫不如變化吧? That didn't work out like you planned, did it?
我很失望 你們沒有人性 You know what? Mostly I'm disappointed. It shows zero character.
很抱歉 I know, I'm sorry.
你是個賤人 And you're a dick.
賤人 小姐 你也是個賤人 You're a dick. You know what, ma'am? You're a dick, too.
- 這是你們想要的尿 - 快關窗 - Here's that pee you ordered. - Roll them up.
- 來了 - 好多尿 - There you go, Tex. - FELICIA: You're soaked with pee.
快速洗車服務如何? Quick car wash?
- 我的天! - 真噁心 - God! - FELICIA: Gross.
牛肉幹味道 It smells like beef jerky. You know?
甜中帶酸 It's just got like that sour sweetness.
怎麼走了一個半小時都沒車? IAN: How can nobody go down a road for an hour and a half?
不知道鋪路的人怎麼想的 Why did they even make this stupid road?
好熱呀 FELICIA: It's so hot out here.
天哪 你的頭 疼嗎? 給我看看 Oh, my God, your head. Wait... Does it hurt? Let me see.
很疼 Yes. It hurts.
- 那是什麼? - 乖乖 - What is that? - Oh, my God.
真漂亮 That is so beautiful.
要幫忙嗎? Need some help?
- 無意冒犯 不過... - 我是安曼教徒 - Yeah, but no offense... - Right, 'Cause I'm Amish,
我對你的69年GTO Judge一無所知 so I wouldn't know anything about your '69 GTO Judge.
455大容量引擎 衝壓空氣渦輪機 4:11傳動比 這些我都不清楚 455 Big Block, Ram Air. 4-11 posi, something like that.
這個怪物一定是從外太空來的 Weird, that thing must have fallen straight from space.
祝一路順風 太空人 Well, good luck with the future ride, spaceman.
夥計 等等 別走 Hey, dude, wait up. Hold on.
你幹什麼? Leesh 別這樣 What are you doing? Whoa, whoa. No, no, no. Leesh, that's a bad idea.
- 怎麼了? - 拜託 - What? - Come on.
不知道還要走多遠呢 你只有一雙鞋 You don't know how far we have to walk. Those are your only pair of shoes.
也許你是對的 你真聰明 You know what? You're probably right. God, you're so sensible.
我到底扔還是不扔呢? But maybe I should? Or maybe I shouldn't?
扔咯 I should.
你竟然... I can't believe you just did that.
他在網路上遇到了個女孩 瞭解不多 So he met this chick on the Internet, which is sketchy.
網路是什麼? The Internet?
就是幾台連在一起的電腦... Yeah, it's like a series of computers that are connected through...
電腦是什麼? Computers?
電腦就像大計算器 螢幕更大 A computer is like a big calculator, you know, with the screen.
我逗你的 我知道什麼是英特網 I'm just busting your balls, man. I know what the Internet is.
- 好吧 - 聽說過Rumspringa嗎? - Okay. - You ever heard of Rumspringa?
特拉華州的斯卡音樂組合 (注: 牙買加風格音樂) Yeah, that ska band from Delaware.
不 是一種成人禮 是安曼教的傳統 No, it means "run wild." It's an Amish tradition where when we turn 16,
16歲時 就可以和你們一樣出來轉轉 we can go live like you heathens for a while.
可以去玩 去聚會 月複一月 年復一年 直到討厭了周圍的人 You go nuts, party for months or years till your folks start hassling you,
就回到石器時代 and then it's back to the Stone Age.
如果你正進行成人禮 怎麼會有馬車? But if you're on Rumspringa, what's with the buggy?
我不在 已經過去了 Oh, no. I'm not. Not anymore.
也許不該和你說... I probably shouldn't even be talking to you but...
我是有點反叛安曼教的 I'm a little bit of an Amish floutlaw.
- 我會留戀世俗 - 你最留戀什麼? - Sometimes I just miss the world. - What do you miss the most?
例如諷刺挖苦 我們的人都不會 You know, I miss sarcasm. It's mostly lost on my people.
還有賭博 曾去過維加斯 我還喜歡肛交 And gambling. Went to Vegas once. And buttfucking.
在那裏玩得很開心 Have a lot of nice memories there.
- 有所耳聞 - 是呀 - LANCE: I hear that. - Oh, yeah.
肛交 Buttfucking.
你是說男人和男人嗎? Wait, are we talking about dudes?
- 不是 - 那沒關係 - No. - Okay. Then yeah.
如果你喜歡那樣 我隨意 I mean, unless that's what you're into, and then, whatever.
- 我不好這口 - 真的? - It's not. - No?
- 不喜歡男人 - 不喜歡 不喜歡 - Not into dudes. - No, no, no, no, no.
- 你多大年紀了? - 到年紀了 - How old are you? - Old enough.
你多大了? How old are you?
你逃不了了 This is gonna happen.
你逃不了了 反抗是徒勞的 It's gonna happen whether you fight it or not.
反抗吧 So I kind of want you to fight it.
停機 MAN: Cut.
- 輪到你了 - 不行 想都別想 - All right. Now you. - No way. Forget it.
你從沒瘋狂過 Dude, you never do anything crazy. Ever.
我還得開過半個國家... Hey! I'm driving halfway across the country to go to...
去看望祖母? 哇哦! To visit your grandma? Whoa!
我們看到她在... So anyway, we're there and she's like...
明白 Oh, yeah.
哭泣不止 Like, she won't stop crying.
- 很有意思 - 是的 - That's the funniest thing, too. - I know.
在維加斯時 我遇見一個脫衣舞女 我說"你想要嗎?" I know, I was with this stripper in Vegas, and I was like, "you want this?"
她說"我要 我要你" So she's like, "Yeah, I want it, I want it."
我的老二立馬就充血了 And I was like, yeah, this gets hotter by the second.
我說"你為什麼哭?" 她說"...想做醫生" "What're you crying about?" She's like, "...wanted to be a doctor."
我說"你是弟弟博士" And I'm like, "Yeah, you're a fucking Ph.D. Of cock."
- 沒錯 - 是呀 - Yeah. - Yeah, exactly.
然後我就顏射了 And then coercing my load out on to the crying face.
維加斯總的來說... 很有意思 Vegas in general is just... Good times.
口交只要10美元 You can get a blowjob for $10.
如果遇到合適的女孩 還可以免費 告訴她你正在成人禮 Or for free if you meet the right girl and tell her "I'm on Rumspringa."
"口交是什麼?" "What is this blowjob that you speak of?"
"你的電子音樂真棒" "Your techno music beguiles me."
讓我插進你的屁股 Let me put it in your butt.
你的腳要是被玻璃割破了 IAN: You know, when you cut your foot on a piece of glass,
- 別指望我背你 - 我沒事 - don't think I'm gonna carry you. - You know what? I will be fine. Okay?
- 我生下來就是赤腳 - 喂! 等等! - I was born barefoot. - Hey! Wait!
喂! 停車! Hey! Stop!
慢慢走吧 賤人們 Have a nice walk, shit-birds.
Ian Felicia 這是我的新朋友 Ezekiel Hey, lan, Felicia, this is my boy, Ezekiel.
你們好 說英語嗎? What up, English?
這裏沒網路 There's no service out here.
- 沒法通知她我遲到了 - 很好 讓她等吧 - I can't even tell her I'll be late. - Good. That's perfect. Keep her waiting.
你要矜持 You don't want to come off as desperate.
我肯開九個小時過去 還矜持個P I'm driving nine hours. How am I not coming off desperate?
- 我們有正事要做 - 看到這個粘稠的東西了嗎? - We had shit to do. - Uh-oh! See that creamy stuff?
氣缸蓋墊片壞了 真不走運 You blew your head gasket. That's not good.
- 見鬼 - 別難過 我會修好的 - Shit. - Don't cry. We can fix it.
- 真的嗎? - 當然 我們是專家 - Really? - Yeah, really. We're good at it.
- 哇哦? - 我不是想壓價 - Yeah? - Yeah. I didn't mean to undersell it,
這車真不錯 but it's an impressive thing.
- 放心 會修好的 - 那太好了 - Yeah. We'll fix it. - Wow, that'd be cool.
是的 我也許是你見過的最酷的人 Yeah, would be cool, wouldn't it? I might be the coolest guy you ever met.
- 謝謝 - 不客氣 - Thank you. - Yeah. You're welcome.
別人幫忙時 你就要說謝謝 That's what you say when people do nice things for you.
旁邊馬上有個舞會 You know, there's a pretty big shindig shaping up next door
你們可以去轉轉 我們會把車修好 if you guys want to hang there while we work on it.
好好放鬆下 Take it easy while we do all this for you.
- 他是不是在凶我? - 他逗你呢 - Does he have an attitude? - No, he's fucking with you.
放鬆 我有好的預感 Just relax, man. I got a good feeling about this, you know.
我們要和安曼教徒聚會 You're gonna party with the Amish.
肯定和縫被子聯誼一樣有趣 Yeah, I'm sure it's gonna be one kick-ass quilting bee.
你好 夥計 What's up, man?
- 你好 - 我的天! - Hey. - No f-ing way!
* When I'm home alone I just can't stop myself*
- 太瘋狂了! - 是呀 - This is insane! - I know.
Signing off, "I'm all right in bed, but I'm better with a pen"
I'm all right in bed, but I'm better with a pen
The kid was all right, but it went to his head
謝謝各位 非常感謝 你們就是我的一切 Thank you, guys, very, very, very much. You guys fucking rule, man.
兄弟 別做夢了 你的把戲在她身上行不通 Dude. Don't even bother. Your game is not gonna work on that girl.
你懂女生嗎? 你從不和女生混 What do you know about girls? I've never even seen you with a girl.
我去看看車 I'm gonna go check on the car.
管她呢 一起跳支舞吧 Yeah, fuck it. Let's dance.
- 我不要做你的安慰獎 - 來吧 開心點兒 - Bite me. I'm not your consolation prize. - Come on. Don't be hating.
好吧 Fine.
所以在這個時候 她的內褲脫了 EZEKIEL: So at this point, her panties are off,
我還是很糾結 她老公在場的感覺 but I'm still apprehensive about her husband being there,
因為他只是在盯著我 'Cause he is just staring at me.
喔! 這是什麼意思? 為什麼座椅在外面? Whoa! Hey, what is this? Why are the seats out?
Ian 你知道怎麼修這些老龐蒂克嗎? Ian, do you know anything about fixing these old Pontiacs?
我不管 知道嗎? Ezekiel 把這些零件 I don't care, okay? Ezekiel, take all the pieces and just
- 放回去 我不希望... - Ian 放輕鬆一點 - put them back in there. I don't want... - lan, you've gotta calm down.
你做過呼吸練習嗎? Do you know any breathing exercises?
因為你現在好像馬上就要發狂了 Because you are right on the verge of a freak-out.
你不瞭解我哥哥的 知道嗎? 他會用一卷的硬幣揍我的屁股 You don't know my brother, okay? He's gonna fuck my ass with a roll of quarters.
什麼? 他會怎麼做? 用什麼? What? He's gonna what? With what?
哦 對! 他會提前下班然後走去銀行 Oh, yeah! He's gonna go get off work early, and he's gonna walk into the bank,
排隊 換10塊零錢 stand in line, change a 10,
找到我的屁股 然後用一卷該死的硬幣揍它 find my ass and just fuck it with a roll of fucking quarters.
對 你們看到也倒楣了! Yeah, witness sucks!
咱們今晚得讓他找個妞上一下 We've got to get that guy laid tonight.
你姐還是個蕩婦嗎? Is your sister still a slut?
看一下 有效果了 Check it out. It's totally working.
你是最好的泡妞搭檔 You're the best wing-man ever.
她上鉤了 她上鉤了 看著 She's in, she's in. Watch this.
Rumspringa(成人禮)! 哇噢! GIRL: Rumspringa! Whoo!
- 我喝了不該喝的 - 對 是的 - I took a wicked digger. - Yes, you did.
我覺得你也許喝太多了 也許你應該... I think you may have had a little too much to drink. Maybe you should...
也許你應該閉嘴 因為我只喝了一點啤酒 Maybe you should shut your face hole 'Cause I've only had one beer ever.
- Rumspringa的第一天? - Rumspringa! - First day of Rumspringa? - Rumspringa!
- 好了 你還好嗎? 沒事的 - 哦! 你們真是太好了 - All right. Okay. You good? All right. - Aw! You guys are so nice.
不要讓她踩到 Don't let her step in it.
我喜歡你們因為你們太好了 I love you guys 'Cause you're awesome.
因為你們太好了 'Cause you're awesome.
我們找個安全的地方來睡覺 Let's just find a safe place to sleep it off.
怎麼? 你怎麼了? What? What's wrong with you?
- 對 你怎麼了 小妞? - 沒事 我很好 - Yeah, what's your problem, bitch? - Nothing. I'm fine.
沒事 她沒事 上帝可以下崗了 Nothing. She's fine. God, lay off.
- 因為Lance 對嗎? - 錯 - It's Lance, right? - No.
我敢打賭他現在和一個 安曼教女孩在一起 你就出來了 I'll bet he's in there with that Amish girl and you're out here.
錯 Wrong.
拜託 Leesh 就服軟兩分鐘吧 Come on, Leesh, just drop the hard-ass thing for two minutes.
你知道 沒事的 你喜歡Lance You know. It's okay. You're into Lance.
- 上帝 我真是個大傻瓜 - Lance是有其魅力 - God, I'm such an idiot. - Look, there's something about Lance.
大家都喜歡Lance 我喜歡Lance Everybody likes Lance. I like Lance.
那答應我你不會像 Lance一樣 Just promise me you won't ever be like Lance.
我們怎麼了?我們去玩吧 來 What is wrong with us? Let's go have some fun. Come on.
來吧 我們還年輕 我們是安曼教徒 現在是 Rumspringa Come on, we're young, and we're Amish, and it's Rumspringa.
Rumspringa!
Ian 你這個小王八蛋! Ian, you little cock-sucker!
Leesh 你太頑固了 看你的腳 Leesh, you're so stubborn. Look at your feet.
它們很好 可以嗎? They are fine. All right?
嘿 有什麼計畫? Hey. What's the plan?
我應該找個手機給Rex打電話 I might as well find a phone and call Rex
- 這樣他可以趕上我殺了我 - 那還去看你祖母嗎? - so he can get on with killing me. - What about visiting your grandma?
對 夥計 你一直推遲看你祖母很久了 Yeah, dude. You been putting off visiting your grandma for too long.
- 是探望你祖母的時間了 - 對 - It's about time you visited Grandma. - Yeah.
Lance 我也很想看我祖母 但是... Lance, you know, I really do want to visit my grandma, but...
夥計 我無法完全向你描述 探望祖母會讓你多開心 Dude, I really can't stress enough how much you're gonna enjoy visiting Grandma.
我經常一個禮拜去看我奶奶兩三次 You know, I visit my grandma sometimes two or three times a week,
每次都非常愉快 她非常開心 and it is always a pleasure. She's just a delight.
我應該怎麼做? What am I supposed to do?
我們的車都在那個倉庫裏 Our transportation is all over the floor of that barn.
哇 你看起來真漂亮 Wow, you look beautiful.
我是說真的 你穿著那個 攪拌奶油 很性感 I mean, seriously, you wearing that, churning some butter. Sexy.
昨晚和你一起是我最開心的時光 So I had the best time with you last night.
對 我也是 Yeah, me, too.
所以你有我的電話 你會打給我的 對嗎? So you got my number. You're gonna call me, right?
"不會" 你很有趣 "No." You're funny.
我是說 Lance 我很喜歡你 但是Rumspringa對我來說已經結束了 I mean, Lance, I really like you, but Rumspringa's over for me.
- 所以... - Rumspringa! - So... - Rumspringa!
你修好了? You fixed it?
對 我們除掉了一些障礙 但是她現在完全沒有問題了 Yeah, we hit a few snags, but she's banging like a champ now.
夥計 我完全...我完全不知道該說什麼 Man, I don't even... I don't even know what to say here.
你知道 我沒有很多... You know, I don't really have much...
哦 不用 我們沒事的 沒事的 Oh, no, we're good. We're good.
有機會幫助鄰居 算是個禮物 I mean, the opportunity to help a neighbor, that's a gift.
夥計 你太... 謝謝你 非常感謝你 Man, you're too... Here, thanks. Thank you so much.
- 不用客氣 - 謝謝你 你幫大忙了 - You're welcome. - Thank you, it's really cool.
是 我是說 It is. You know, I mean,
如果你覺得有必要用別的方式交換 if you felt the need to reciprocate in some way,
我是說 這裏有很多零活需要做 I mean, there's a lot of chores that need to be done around here.
哦 不行 現在最重要的 是我們已經落後計畫很多了 Yeah, no, the only thing about that is we're kind of behind schedule right now.
對 但是 我們可以回來 Yeah, but, I mean, we could totally come back.
- 我們可以回來的路上再看你 - 好的 - We could hit you on our way back through. - Okay.
對 你應該這樣 你應該上路 Yeah, you should. You should really get on the road.
我是說 你現在有情況良好的車 因為我們修好了它 I mean, you got a smooth-running vehicle now, you know, 'Cause we fixed it.
- 對 不 但是... 所以我們說好了? - 說好了 對 技術上 - Yeah. No, but it's... So we're good? - We're good. Yeah, technically.
我是說 我們免費修好你的車 你們要離開 I mean, we fixed your car for free, and you're leaving.
我覺得這把我們逼到絕路了 So I'd say that makes us dead square.
我保證我們會回來 We'll come back. I promise.
- 我很期待 - 哦 說真的 我們會回來 - I'm looking forward to that. - Hey, no, seriously, we will.
好的 我們會摒住呼吸直到你們回來 Okay. We'll all hold our breath till you get back.
數3 夥計們 3 2... On three, guys. Three, two...
我的胃痛死了 看到休息點就告訴我 My stomach's killing me. Tell me if you see a rest stop.
你知道 我真的為Mary感到難過 You know, I really feel sorry for Mary
因為她的生活方式不會讓她開心 because her lifestyle is keeping her from being happy.
這樣是不可能生活的 And that's no way to live.
Lance 你不知道你的小理論 "人們總是渴望他們得不到的" Lance, don't you know your little theory of "People want what they can't get."
她就是用了這個理論 Ian 加油站 That's all she is. Lan, gas station.
不 Felicia 這是不一樣的 因為她改變了我 No. Felicia, this is different okay, because she changed me.
你知道 我現在蛻變成了蝴蝶 全因為她 You know, I'm a butterfly now because of her.
因為當我和她一起時 我就好像精神上是完整的人 Because when I'm with her, I was like a spiritually whole human being.
如果你不相信的話 你可以來吸我的雞巴 And if you don't believe that, you can suck my dick.
該死 我知道你沒有弄走我的車 Ian Fuck. I know you didn't take my car, lan.
因為你是一個最膽小的人 對的 'Cause you're a big, giant pussy. That's right.
我會抬起這個門 我的巨大耀眼的Judge I'm gonna lift up this door and my big fucking glorious bitchy Judge
就乖乖在那裏向我發光 is gonna be sitting right there gleaming at me,
不然我就讓鄰居那該死的松鼠 吃了你的屁眼 or I'm gonna have the fucking neighborhood squirrels eat your asshole.
想這樣嗎? Want some of this?
他弄走了我的寶貝 He took my fucking baby.
嘿 Knievel 你把你的摩托弄走行不行? Hey, Knievel, what say you get your bike out of the fricking road?
都滿了哈 小夥子? All ocupado, sport?
貌似某人爽到了哈 Sounds like someone's got one in sideways.
先生們 Gents.
哦 看起來好像輪到我們了 來 進去吧 Well, looks like we're up. Go on, get in there.
有信號了嗎? Am I getting a signal?
Tasty 昨晚我車出問題了 Tasty, I got sidetracked last night.
和一些新朋友玩了一下 I had to party with some new homies.
今晚 8:00 在大男孩 Tonight, 8:00 p.m. At Big Boy.
我值得等待 I'm worth the wait.
還好你比較可愛啦 別再放我鴿子了 UR sooooo lucky UR cute! DO NOT stand me up again!
不! 哦 上帝! 不 謝謝! 不 謝謝! No! Oh, God! No, thank you! No, thank you!
你好? 小傢伙? 在嗎? Hello? Little buddy? Hello.
快吸 快吸 快吸啊 Spooner. Spooner. Spooner.
是你在裏面叫嗎? - 我不想談論這個 永遠都不要 - LANCE: Was that you screaming in there? - I don't want to talk about it. Ever.
- Felicia在哪里? - 她去買玉米熱狗 - Where's Felicia? - She went to get corn dogs.
你能相信有這麼多女孩嗎 夥計? Can you believe the girls around here, man?
但是 夥計 我去哪里 再找一個像Mary一樣的女孩? But, man, where am I ever gonna find another girl as cool as Mary?
你喜歡嗎? You like it?
- Felicia怎麼樣? - 她怎麼樣? - What about Felicia? - What about her?
- 她喜歡你 - 對 真的 先排隊 - She's into you. - Yeah, no shit. Get in line.
怎麼回事? 她對你來說不夠好嗎? What is that? She's not good enough for you?
Felicia很好 Felicia's awesome,
現在明顯的狀況是你喜歡她 but the obvious statement to make here is that you like her.
- 什麼? 不 我... - 你很吃驚 你不能相信 - What? No, I... - You're shocked. You can't believe it.
- 大爆炸 拜託 - 你知道 她完全不喜歡我 - This bombshell. Come on. - You know, she's not into me anyways.
對 我知道 但是這不重要 我仍然... 我永遠不能這樣對你 Yeah, I know. But it doesn't matter. I still... I could never do that to you.
好吧 但是你真的清楚她不喜歡你 對嗎? Okay, but you do know that she's not into you, right?
- 對 也許你不知道 - 不 不 不 我要打斷你 - Yeah. Well, maybe you don't know. - No. No, no, I'm gonna stop you.
沒有也許 好嗎? 我作為你最好的朋友這樣說 There's no maybe. Okay? And I'm saying this as your best friend,
不要 永遠不要 你知道嗎? but never. Never fucking ever. You know?
因為你們是朋友 Because you guys are friends.
你知道我曾經交往過的所有女孩 都有什麼共同之處? You know what every girl I've ever banged had in common?
我和她們從來都不是朋友 I wasn't friends with any of them.
通常她們有很棒的咪咪 不是所有都是 And usually they have awesome tits, but not always.
有時候你只能得到銅牌 知道嗎? Sometimes you get that bronze medal, you know?
非常簡單 爬上繩子 擊打鈴鐺 贏得獎品 Real simple. Climb the rope, hit the bell, win a prize.
嘿 比爾博·巴金斯 沒有身高要求的 Hey, there, Bilbo Baggins, there's no height requirement.
你為什麼不爬一下給你女朋友贏個獎品呢 Why don't you step up and win your girlfriend a prize?
我們不是... 她不是我女朋友 We're not... She's not my girlfriend.
- 你那個女朋友呢? - 不錯 - What about your other girlfriend there? - Nice.
好 上啊 Ian 你可以的 All right, come on, lan. You can do it.
上啊 你馬上就到了! 你馬上就到了! 上 上 上! Come on, you're almost there! You're almost there! Go, go, go!
勝利! 勝利! 勝利! AUTOMATED MALE VOICE.; Winner! Winner! Winner!
- 太棒了 - 你是怎麼做到的? - That was awesome. - How the hell did you do that?
我們在Cub Scout夏令營有一個 我已經掌握了訣竅 We had one of these at Cub Scout camp. I kind of mastered it.
對 你覺得你很辣哦? Yeah, you think you're hot shit?
- 棒棒糖? - 謝謝 - Lolly? - Thank you.
嘿 嘿 嘿 美臀 Hey, hey, hey, ass.
嘿 你的秘訣是什麼? Hey. What's your secret?
你只要...如果你保持肩膀放低... You just... If you keep your shoulders down...
- 不能指導 - 什麼? - No coaching. - What?
這裏不能指導 小子 看標記 No coaching there, Lombardi. Read the sign.
不能指導 (上面明明寫的是"不退款") No coaching.
神明亞 Cheese and rice!
- 謝謝 我是Sandy - 我是 Ian - Thanks. I'm Sandy. - I'm lan.
- 安慰獎? - 哇! 謝謝你 - Consolation prize? - Wow! Thank you so much.
其實 我們舞團馬上要在那個帳篷裏表演 You know, my dance team's performing over at the tent in a couple of minutes.
你們應該過來看看 You guys should come watch.
- 其實 我們正打算走了 - 那聽起來很有趣 他會去的 - Actually, we were just about to go. - That sounds super fun. He'll be there.
太好了 到時候見 Great. See you.
夥計 那個女孩辣到家了 Dude, that girl reeks of sex.
- 真的嗎? - 對 - Really? - Yeah.
嘿 哈利波特 帶上你的女朋友們走人了 Hey, Harry Potter, take you and your girlfriends out of here.
你在看什麼 Ellen DeGeneres? 小心我揍你 (美國著名女主持人 拉拉) What are you looking at, Ellen DeGeneres? I will crush you.
對 我不怕揍女人的 That's right. I'm not afraid to hit a lady.
(SINGING) Everybody's talking all this stuff about me
Why don't they just let me live?
I don't need permission
- 我們真的有時間... - 嘿 嘿 - Do we really have time for... - Hey, hey.
你不能再對他這樣了 You have to stop doing that to him.
- 做什麼? - 擋著他操B之路 - Doing what? - Twat blocking.
我沒有擋著...那B I'm not twat... Doing that.
對! 讓我們為AX舞者歡呼! Yeah! Let's give it up for the AX Dancers!
來吧 姑娘們 幫我找一些小夥子們上來 Come on, girls, let's help me get some fellas up in here.
上去吧 去吧 Get up there. Come on.
後排! 後排! KAT.; In the back! In the back!
快 再找兩個 再找兩個! Come on, two more, two more!
夥計 轉身 Dude, turn around.
AX: 禁欲宣誓 ABSTINENCE XTREME
看看我找到的這些年輕人 Look at this fine crop of handsome fellas I got here.
在話題之前 But before we get down to business,
這裏有一個年輕的女孩 there's a young woman here
她願意和這些年輕人分享她的故事 who would like to share her story with these young men.
- Kristy 準備好了嗎 寶貝? - 好了 - Kristy, you ready, baby? - Okay.
去年我和我男朋友在一個舞會 So, last year I was at a dance with my boyfriend.
他要去他車上 He wanted to go to his car.
所以我就去了 So I did.
我們全裸在後座椅上 然後我們開始口... So we were both naked in the back seat and we started having oral...
哦也 MAN IMITATING SOUL SINGER.; Yeah!
老爹好喜歡 Daddy likes that!
打斷一下 Excuse me!
打斷一下 這個悲慘的故事讓你興奮了嗎? Excuse me! Is this tragic story turning you on?
這位勇敢的女士傾訴她的心聲 這讓你興奮了嗎? This courageous young lady pours her heart out and this is getting you hot?
是你發誓的時間了 立刻! It's time for you to pledge. Right now!
夥計 你比任何人都需要 Boy, you need this more than anybody.
嘿 拿好了 夥計 Hey, keep a wrinkle in it, captain.
我不敢相信 你在硬的時候發了一個禁欲的誓 I can't believe you took a fucking abstinence pledge with a hard-on.
太經典了 It's classic.
聽著 我完全不知道她在說什麼 那不算數的! 知道嗎? Look, I didn't even know what she was talking about. That doesn't count! Okay?
- Ian! 嘿! - 好多了 - Ian! Hey! - It gets better.
我以你為榮! I am so proud of you!
滾開 你是這樣打算的嗎? Get away from me. Is that what you do?
你出去引誘像我一樣的男生 去你的小無性行為俱樂部? You go out and you lure little dorks like me into your little no-having-sex club?
Ian 完全不是那樣的 Ian, it's not like that at all.
滾開 現在 Just go away. Now.
- 我本打算舔你屁眼的 知道嗎? - 真的嗎? - I would've eaten your asshole, you know. - Really?
留著你的傻棒棒糖吧 You can keep your stupid flipping lollipop, anyway!
- 你死定了 精神病處女 - 不 不! - You are dead, psycho-virgin! - No, no!
嘿 你確定你想在肯德基州的Floater修牙麼? Hey, are you sure you want to get dental work done in Floater, Kentucky?
Teddescoe醫生馬上就來 Dr. Teddescoe will be with you present-like.
- 謝謝你 - 不客氣 - Thank you. - Welcome.
好吧 你是對的 我的腳痛死了 Fine, okay, you were right. My feet are killing me,
我不應該扔掉鞋子 and I never should've tossed my shoes.
不 我喜歡你的鞋子在那棵樹上 No, come on. I love that your shoes are in that tree.
我說真的 那是最好的Felicia I do. That's premium Felicia.
Felicia Alpine
- 你對她做了什麼? - 嗯? - So what'd you do to her? - Hmm?
輕輕揍了她一下? Smack her around a little bit?
她出軌了 你揍了她一下? She gets out of line, you pop her one?
- 不 不 先生 我... - 上當了 我開玩笑的 年輕人 - No. No, sir, I... - I got you. I'm just teasing you, man.
真搞笑 We have fun.
- 但是他沒有 對嗎? - 嗯? 嗯-嗯 - He didn't, though, did he? - Hmm? Mmm-mmm.
如果你身處危境 就眨兩次眼 Blink twice if you feel you're in danger.
我一會就回來 先等麻藥起效 Be back in a couple minutes. I'm gonna wait for that to numb up.
規矩點 疑犯 Hands to yourself, O.J.
Ian 還記得那晚在Lance的聚會上嗎? Ian, you know the other night at Lance's party?
- 我去了嗎? - 得了吧 - Was I there? - No, come on.
你知道 我只是不想破壞我們的友誼 I mean, you know the only reason is because I don't want to ruin our friendship.
那是 咱倆的友誼沒說的 說得好 Totally, I mean friendship is awesome. Good call.
要是失去了你 我真不知該怎麼辦 I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you.
- 不會的 - 你在想什麼? - You won't. - What are you thinking about?
- 你在想什麼? - 我先問的 - What are you thinking about? - I asked you first.
你流哈喇子了 You got a little loogie.
我得去看看Lance... I'm gonna go see if Lance...
嗯 這個也要 Um, I'll take these as well.
不是我穿 真不是 They're not for me. They're not.
- 聽好了 - 有何打算? - Heads up. - What's with you?
我想應該調頭回家了 I'm thinking maybe we head back home.
什麼? 為什麼? What? Why?
嗯 我和Felicia剛在裏邊談了談 Well, Felicia and I were talking in there,
- 我們有點來電了 - 哦 你們來電了啊? - and we kind of had a moment. - Oh! Oh, did you guys have a little moment?
- 嗯 - 你個蠢材 - Yeah. - You're a moron.
去你的 這個我們討論過了 Fuck you. We've talked about this.
就快到了 我不能讓她這麼做 Look, we're almost there, and I'm not letting her do this.
我們要去Knoxville 你去找那靚妞 We're going to Knoxville, and you're getting your nut.
不 我不去了 No, I'm not. I'm not.
我要給Tasty發信息 跟她說我不去了 No, I'm gonna text Tasty, and I'm gonna tell her I'm not coming.
- Ian 上車 - 我不去了 不去了 - Ian, get in this car. - I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
靠 我電話呢? 嘿 笑得真好 Shit, where's my phone? Hey, you got a new smile.
你拿了啊 我都不知道... 這是送給你的 You have my phone. I didn't know... This is for you.
嗯! 有條新信息 Mmm! A message came in.
你奶奶說 她非常想見到你 Your grandma says she's really excited to see you.
還有些關於她刮了毛的靚B And something about her hot, shaved pussy.
可能和癌症有關吧 Must be the cancer talking.
好啊 我們去Knoxville All right. Good deal. We're going to Knoxville.
(SINGING) All I've got is frustration, frustration
I hate this vacation
So, give up, give up Give up, give up
I've got to get away from here It's killing me just thinking 'bout
Frustration, frustration I hate this vacation...
Ian 你走錯路了 lan, you're going the wrong way.
- 我們回家 - 什麼? - We're going home. - What?
別 別因為我調頭 好嗎? Please, do not turn around because of me. Okay.
- 對 別管了 - 我十分想見Tasty呢 - Yeah, no shit. - I'm dying to see Ms. Tasty.
會很熱鬧的 This is going to be hilarious.
賭100塊 她有小JJ A hundred bucks says she has a wiener.
我說了 回家 我不想再談這事了 Look, I said we're going home. I don't want to talk about it.
我就知道 是你故意把這事攪黃的 I knew you'd find some way to fuck this up for him.
我? 你倆背著我沒少謀劃 (LISPING) Me? You two are fucking scheming behind my back.
- 沒有 - 你偷了Rex的車 - No, we're not. - Okay. You stole Rex's car.
開出了大半個國家 You drove halfway across the country.
這一定是你想幹的吧 那就幹吧 廢物點心! This must be what you want to do. So do it, chicken shit!
- 牛啊 廢物點心 - 好! 你猜怎麼著? - (LISPING) Fucking A, chicken shit. - Fine! You know what?
我這就調頭 摟上個騷貨 然後就跟她幹 馬上幹 I'll turn the car around, I'll flip a bitch, and I'll go pork somebody. Right now.
我就要那樣 不正是你們想的嗎? I'll be that guy. Is that what you want?
- 就要那樣! 那樣最牛了 - 很不錯啊 - Be that guy! That guy rules. - FELICIA: Sounds awesome.
- 那樣我就高興了 - 好 好 非常好 我這就來了 - That would make me so happy. - All right. All right. Fantastic! I'm doing it.
- 小心 Ian! 靠! - 小心 Ian! LANCE: Watch out, lan! Fuck! FELICIA: Watch it, lan!
- 你們喜歡嗎? - 你剛才是蛋蛋掉了麼? - IAN: You like that? - Did your fucking balls just drop?
- 哦 又是這SB - 想來嗎? 來吧 - Oh, man, it's this douche again. - You want it? You got it.
- 你們連褲襪穿好了 - 嗯 這笑話有待完善 - Hold on to your pantyhose. - Okay, we gotta work on your banter,
但是 你太牛了 but otherwise, this is awesome.
- 他甩開你了 - 沒有 跟著呢 - You're losing him. - No, I got him. I got him.
- 天啊 Ian! 不能離這麼近 - 他媽的! - Jesus, lan! Not so close. - God damn it!
沒門! 你死定了 No way, man! You're dead.
抱歉 他沒事 Sorry. He's all right.
這哥們他媽危險了! LANCE: This guy's fucking dangerous!
他在哪兒? 告訴我 哥們 Where is he? Talk to me, dudes.
就在後邊 就在後邊 Right up our ass. He's in our ass.
- 他跟不住啦 - 女士們! - LANCE: He's tagging out. - Ladies!
Ian 小心! Ian, look out!
他媽的 God damn it.
你幹什麼呢? 靠 What were you doing, man? Shit.
夥計 放鬆點 不是你的錯 他忽然跳出來的 Dude, take it easy. This wasn't your fault. He jumped right in front of you.
閉嘴 Lance 當然是我的錯 Just shut up, Lance. Of course it's my fault.
行了吧 這負鼠又不會幹了你 Now, come on, man, this possum's not gonna fuck you.
我們要去找Tasty小姐呢 We gotta go find Ms. Tasty.
他正遭罪呢 Lance 我不能留下他一個 He's suffering, Lance. I'm not gonna leave him here by himself. Okay?
嗯 你說的對 Okay. You're right.
我們得幫幫他 叫個獸醫什麼的 We gotta help him. We gotta call a vet or something.
Ian 看看他吧 我們做不了什麼了 Ian, look at him. There's not a lot that we can do.
你最好閉上眼睛 可能會有點血腥 You may want to cover your eyes, sweetheart, there could be some splatter.
- 你他媽要幹什麼? - 解除他的痛苦 - What the fuck are you doing? - I'm gonna take him out of his misery.
沒有輪椅給他坐的 他掛定了 They don't make little wheelchairs for him. He's done, man.
去你的 Lance 天啊 你一點都不在乎他 IAN: Fuck you, Lance. God, you don't even give a shit about him.
我來 I'll do it.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
一切負鼠 皆進天堂 LANCE: All possums go to heaven.
呃 Ian 它好像還... Uh... lan. It... I think it's still...
Ian 不好意思 還是... Ian, I'm so sorry, it's...
哦 天啊! 見他媽的鬼! 我只是想做正確的事 Oh, God! Jesus fucking... God damn it! I'm trying to do the right thing here.
- 他還真是沮喪啊 - 我操 - He's really hanging in there. - God! Fuck!
Jamie Lynn Spears的孩子 現在也滿該一歲了 You know, Jamie Lynn Spears' baby has got to be about a year old now.
真他媽不敢相信 她都有孩子了 I can't believe she had a fucking baby.
我怎麼知道那是瀕危的負鼠? How was I supposed to know it was an endangered possum?
獸醫說 它很可能恢復健康的 You know, the vet said there's actually a good chance he might pull through.
希望如此了 進去 You better hope so, mister. Get in.
關閉牢房B Lock up cell B.
我們蹲監獄了 We are in jail.
嗯 聽著 你得沉著點 要是他們看你是軟蛋 Okay, listen, you have got to be cool, 'Cause if they see you shitting yourself
就該找我們麻煩了 they're gonna fuck with us.
嘿 小妞們 Hey! Hey, ladies.
你他媽最好在 我找你麻煩之前坐回去 Hey, how about you sit the fuck back down before me and you have a problem?
你別激動 好吧? 沒事 How about you just chill out, man? Be cool.
- 好 沒事了? - 嗯 沒事了 - All right. We good? - Yeah, we're good.
- 打擾一下 - 聽著 老頭子 我可告訴你... - Excuse me. - Listen, old man, I'm only gonna tell you...
你們是沒看到他的眼神 You should've seen the look in his eyes.
他為那小東西心碎了 His heart was breaking for this poor little thing.
靠 Ian一點都不像個爺們 Shit, that boy lan don't seem like he got no balls at all.
- 怎麼? - 因為動物受傷而大驚小怪? Why? 'Cause he got to fussing some over a suffering critter?
我看挺可愛的 I think that's real sweet.
嗯 我看那個Lance像個真正的壯漢 Well, I say this Lance, he sounds like a real hunk of man.
要留住他在身邊 大概只能靠懷他的種了 The only way you can keep his kind around is to get his babies up in you pronto.
他對小妞可毫不尊重 But he got no respect for bitches.
Shathayd說的對 毫不尊重 絕對如此 Shathayd's right. No respect for bitches. None whatsoever.
你愛Ian 是不是? You love lan, don't you, baby?
我們從小開始就是最好的朋友 Well, it's just we've been best friends since we were really little,
我說不好 我的心裏話只對他說 知道嗎? and I don't know, he's the only person I can really talk to, you know?
你既然把心都交給了他 You give your heart to that boy,
就把什麼他媽"友誼"扔到窗外去! and you can toss that "friendship" right out the motherfucking window.
我年輕的時候 有位最好的朋友 叫Creighton McDaniel When I was a girl, my best friend was a fella named Creighton McDaniel.
我們整晚聊天 說笑 混日子 We used to stay up all night just talking and laughing and carrying on.
然後有一天 我忽然覺得 應該比朋友更進一步 Then one day I got it into my head that we ought to be more than friends.
我對他說 我愛他 So I tell him I love him.
然後呢? What happened?
我們約會了幾個星期 We dated for a few weeks.
然後他在Wofford遇見了個女孩 Then he met a gal over in Wofford.
我們仍然總是聊天 We still talk from time to time.
卻再也不像從前了 But it was never the same between us.
哦 來吧 到這兒來 Baby. Come here. Come on, now. Come on, now.
你需要個擁抱 來吧 親愛的 You know you need a hug. Come on, honey.
到我懷裏來 Cuddle up.
哥們 LANCE: Dude.
- 啊? - 你在眾目睽睽之下尿尿啊 - What? - Look, you're pissing in front of everybody.
是啊 Yeah, I am.
- 那傢伙正盯著你的JJ看 - 你好啊 - And that guy's looking right at your dick. - Atta-boy.
- 看看你 新來的 - 不 我不是 - Look at you. You're a new man. - No, I'm not.
我說 你偷了輛車 翻山越嶺 Dude. You stole a car, ran over a hillbilly,
又被捕 在監獄跟人幹架 you got arrested, you got in a prison fight.
見到了Duane 就在這坐著 See Duane, he was there.
而且今天又撞了只瀕危動物 And I mean, you really beat an endangered species to death today.
這已經算點什麼了 That's got to count for something.
現在又在監獄裏 在一群變態中間像大狗一樣尿尿 And now you're in here in jail pissing like a big dog in front of all the perverts.
我是說 就差一件事了 I mean, there's only one thing left.
嗯 那事吹了 應該在兩小時之前去見她的 Yeah, well, that's out. I was supposed to meet her two hours ago.
等我們出去了 就跟她說你被打了 Dude, when we get out of here, just tell her you got pinched.
她會覺得你是個壞小子 實際也是 She'll think that's bad-ass, because it totally is.
Lafferty Nesbitt 有人來保釋你們了 Lafferty, Nesbitt, your bail has been posted.
真的? Really?
- 該走了 - 靠! - Time to go. - Shit!
- 怎麼? - 是Rex - What? - Rex.
好 我要走了 Duane All right, this is it for us, Duane,
但我們之前說的那些話 but, you know, back to what we were talking about earlier,
我不在乎Denise怎麼說 I don't give a shit what Denise says,
我認為 偉大的美國小說 總會誕生的 I think there's still room for somebody to write the great American novel.
好好考慮下我的意見 哥們 So take that for whatever it's worth, buddy.
Mary!
等等 你怎麼找到我的? Wait. Wait. How did you find me?
我打你的手機 這兒的人接的 Well, I called your cell phone, and then someone answered here.
- 太棒了 好 - 你沒事吧? 你為什麼進來的? - That's awesome. Okay. - Are you okay? Why are you in jail?
嗯 有好幾項指控 I mean, there's a number of charges,
主要是虐待動物 but the most prominent ones were animal cruelty
以及襲警 and the assaulting the officer.
但絕非報紙上寫的那樣可怕 我保證 But it's not nearly as bad as it sounds on paper, okay? I promise.
- 好 - 好 在這兒等著 - Okay. - Okay. Wait right here. Okay.
- Teddy - Lance 哥們 - Teddy. - Lance, my man.
- 我的東西好了嗎? - 幾分鐘就好 - You guys got my stuff? - It's gonna be a few minutes.
- 你女兒還賣那種餅乾嗎? - 嗯 - Your daughter still selling those cookies? - Yes.
找到我的錢包 我買一盒 You find me that wallet, I'll buy one.
- 你人真好 - 她多大了? - That'd be nice of you. - How is she now?
我開玩笑呢 我可不想再填一項指控 I'm just fucking with you. I don't need one more charge brought.
(SINGING) You can't know, oh, no You can't know
How much I think about you, no
It's making my head spin
Looking at you And you are looking at me
And we both know what we want
So close to giving in
Ian 別這樣 別像Lance一樣 你是個好人 lan, don't do this. No, don't turn into Lance. You're a good guy.
對 所以我還是個處男 Yeah, well, that's why I'm still a virgin.
處男又怎麼樣? Ian 只是性而已 不是... So what if you're a virgin? God, lan, it's just sex. It's not...
不 Felicia 不是性的問題 我是個怪人 No, Felicia, it's not about the sex. It's not. I'm weird.
身邊的人 只有我是處男 我得解決這事 I'm the only virgin I know. I need to get this done
人們才不會大驚小怪 so everyone can just stop freaking out about it.
我知道你不贊成 但很抱歉 我... Look, I know you don't approve, but I'm sorry, I just...
我不能帶著處男之身回家 I'm not going home a virgin.
那就來和我做吧 Then, sport, fuck me.
什麼? What?
來 和我做 別找陌生人了 Sport, fuck me and not some stranger.
我們是朋友嘛 你就不會... We're friends so you know you're not gonna get some, like,
發脾氣或染上性病之類的麻煩事... crabs or genital warts or some pussing thing that's coming...
哇 Leesh 想法真好 Wow, Leesh. That's hot!
知道嗎? You know what?
我寧願永遠做處男 也不願受人可憐而上床 I think I'd rather stay a virgin forever than lose it on pity-sex.
- 我不是說可憐 - 那是說什麼? - I'm not talking about pity-sex. - Then what are you talking about?
不知道 性嘛 I don't know. Sex.
不需要有什麼意義 不會破壞我們的友誼 It doesn't have to mean anything. It doesn't have to jeopardize our friendship.
Leesh 跟你說 去他媽的友誼! Leesh, you know what? Fuck the friendship!
抱歉 我不能這麼做 I'm sorry, I just can't do it.
我不想再聽你聊你的男友們 I can't be the guy that you're gonna talk to about your boyfriends anymore. I can't...
不能再在大半夜去接你 I can't be the guy who's gonna pick you up in the middle of the night,
也不想聽你哭泣 因為Derrick Dicottes找了別的女孩 and you're gonna cry to because Derrick Dicottes found some other girl.
可能我現在自私了 但還不夠 And maybe I'm just being selfish here, but it is not enough.
我還要走出這扇門 去找些無意義的性愛 Okay, so I'm gonna go out that door, and I'm gonna go have meaningless sex
去幹那個在網上認識的 也許是性感靚妞的人 with some random, hopefully hot, hopefully female person that I met on the Internet.
除非你還有更好的建議 Unless you've got something better to say to me.
就知道是如此 That's what I thought.
獨眼巨人 Cyclops.
- 你怎麼找到我的? - 聽說過LoJack跟蹤系統嗎 傻子? - How'd you find me? - You ever heard of LoJack, cheese-dick?
過來 Come here.
(SINGING) Burn that mother down, y'all
Burn, baby, burn
Disco inferno
Burn, baby, burn
別 Rex 有個女孩... 我跟你說過的 網上那個... Burn that mother down
Come on, Rex, wait. The girl... The one I told you about from the Internet. Burn that mother down
她就在街對面 Rex 她什麼都跟我做 She's right across the street, Rex. She wants to do it with me and everything.
關我屁事! Like I give a shit!
收拾東西 基佬! 回家了 Get your shit, queer-bait! We're going home.
好 好 Okay. Okay, fine.
快點! Now!
最近的這種感覺 It probably wouldn't have changed
怕是改不了了 all these feelings that I've been having lately anyway.
你說什麼呢? What are you talking about?
不知道 Rex 就是...感覺 I don't know, Rex. You know, just feelings,
對男人的...好奇 curiosity about men.
哦 操 Ian! Oh, shit, lan!
我想你說的對 我真變同性戀了 I think you might be right. I think I might be getting gay.
我操! God damn it. Fuck!
可女孩都不理我 Rex But I just haven't had any luck with girls, Rex.
沒門! 我弟弟絕不能變同性戀! No way! No way my little brother's taking it in the chili ring.
這樣 開著這輛車 All right, you take the car,
去找那個女人 好好幹她 and you go bang the female woman like the good Lord intended.
給你一小時! You've got one hour!
記得加滿油 Fill up the tank, would you, buddy?
- 沒多少油了 謝謝 - 好 - Tank is at a little low. Yeah, thanks. - Right.
嘿 你在找人嗎? Hey, man. You looking for somebody?
Tasty小姐 Ms. Tasty.
Ian?
哦 天啊 嘿! Oh, my gosh! Hey.
還以為你又放我鴿子了 I was sure you were standing me up.
- 可你來了 看看你啊 - 再見 - But here you are. Look at you. - See you.
你跟照片上看著不太一樣 You look a little different than your picture.
嗯 我瘦了很多 我得了...流感 Yeah, I know. I lost a lot of weight 'Cause I had the runs... The flu.
你真可愛 你的車真漂亮 Well, you're mighty cute, and your car is really pretty.
帶我兜個風吧? Why don't you take me for a ride?
嗯 Tasty小姐 你的真名是? So, Ms. Tasty, what's your real name?
- 日後再說吧? - 嗯 當然 - How about I tell you after? - Yeah, sure.
我也走運了 Works for me.
(SINGING)... below the ocean Where I wanna be
She may be
Way down below the ocean...
- 不 Mary 等等 - 怎麼? - No, Mary, wait. - What?
- 怎麼了? - 沒啥 我是說... - What's wrong? - Nothing. I mean...
沒事 我... 真的喜歡你 Nothing, I just... I really like you,
我不想毀了這感覺 知道嗎? and I don't want to ruin this. You know?
你來芝加哥 我們一起相處 But, hey, maybe you could come to Chicago and we could hang out
- 然後慢慢... - 不 - and take it a little... - No.
Lance 那樣不行的 Lance, it doesn't work like that.
要是我不回去 就會被驅逐 And, I mean, if I don't go back, I'm gonna be shunned.
我就再也見不到家人了 I could never see my family again.
- 安曼教的這些規矩真他媽爛 - 嗯 可不是碼 - This Amish thing is a real motherfucker. - Yeah, tell me about it.
- Ian - 嗯 - Ian. - Yeah.
我看咱們該脫衣服了 I think we should take our clothes off.
哇 真的? 就在這兒? Wow. Really? Right here?
方圓數裏都沒人 脫吧 No one's around for miles. Come on.
- 怎麼樣? - 謝謝 - What do you think? - Thank you.
這是我今天見過的比較翹的咪咪了 That is one of the better sets that I've seen today.
謝謝你的誠實 I appreciate your honesty.
真不錯 They're nice.
是嗎? Really?
你身材很棒 You're fit.
- 你太會說話了 - 嗯 - You're so sweet. - Yeah.
我看你也該脫衣服了 I think we should take your clothes off now.
嗯 也許吧 Yeah, maybe we should.
- 我不會玩橄欖球! - 沒事 - I don't play football! - Okay.
我...真不會玩 我連看都不看 I... I really don't. I mean, I don't really even watch football.
我所有的資料都取自 <勝利之光>的 I mean, I got all that stuff from Friday Night Lights,
是個美劇 也是Billy Bob Thornton主演的電影 which is a show. It's also a movie starring Billy Bob Thornton.
- 不知你看沒看過... - Ian - I don't know if you saw it, but... - lan.
怎麼? 你以為我的資料就是千真萬確了? 不是的 What? You think everything in my profile's the God's honest truth? No.
來吧 脫衣服吧 Now, come on, take your clothes off.
嗯 還有個女孩... Look, there's this girl...
Ian 這是我們之間的小秘密 沒人會知道 lan, this can be our little secret. No one has to know.
來吧 Now come here.
抱歉 抱歉 我真的不能跟你做 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't do this with you.
我吻的是你 心裏卻想著另一個人 I'm kissing you, and I'm thinking about somebody else.
我知道我簡直是蠢透了 我是說 她甚至不是... No, and I know that's a stupid thing to say. I mean, she's not even...
不 不 不 Tasty 你別哭啊 Oh, no, no, no. Ms. Tasty, please don't cry.
這和你無關... 你是這麼的漂亮 就像... It's not a reflection of... You're so pretty, like...
你在笑 You're laughing.
把衣服穿上吧 你這王八蛋 Just take your fucking clothes off, asshole!
聽著 我很抱歉 我本不想這樣的 Look, I'm sorry, okay. I don't mean to lead you on here,
我會載你回家 但我不覺得... 搞什麼? and I'll give you a ride home, but I don't think that... What the fuck?
那塊破絲巾什麼意思啊 兄弟? What's up with the bandana, dude? Huh?
你是模特嗎? What're you, a Gap model?
- 有J嗎? - 有 - Do you have any jacks? - Yup.
- 我贏了 - 又贏了 - I win. - Again.
- 好吧 脫衣服吧 - 太好了 - All right, just take your shirt off. - Okay, good.
你是對的 Ian 69年的Judge車 你值得等待 You were right, lan. '69 Judge. You were worth the wait.
- 求你了 別這樣! 那不是我的車! - 祝你女朋友好運 - Please, no! Come on, it's not even my car! - And good luck with the lady friend.
臭婊子! Fuckface!
Bobby 你剛才簡直是帥呆了 Oh, Bobby, you were so awesome back there.
- 愛死你了 - 好啊 - Love you so much. - Cool.
嘿 你知道嗎 我剛才一直在想 你非得秀咪咪嗎? Hey, you know, I was thinking, do you always have to flash them the twins?
你也知道 我有槍的 You know, I mean, I do got a gun.
- 哦 寶貝 你知道的 它們是屬於你的 - 好 - Oh, baby, you know they're only for you. - Okay, cool.
聽著 我隨時都會再搞輛車來 明白嗎? Now, listen. I got another car coming any minute now, okay?
- 明白 - 那好 把我載回"大人物"那去 - Got it. - So take me back to the Big Boy
- 然後再把那個色鬼送到Luis那去 - 好 - and get this goat over to Luis. - Right.
Luis住哪? 5th Crescent! And where is Luis? 5th and Crescent!
- 都告訴你幾百遍了 - 我知道那在哪 - I fucking told you. - I know where it is.
如果做的好的話 媽咪會好好犒勞你的 And if you do good, momma's gonna take real good care of you.
真的? Really?
你是說我喜歡的那件事? You mean the thing I like well?
我只想確認下我們說的是不是同一件事 Yeah, just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing here.
小辣椒舞娘 The pepper grinder.
小辣椒舞娘! Pepper grinder!
小辣椒舞娘! 耶 Pepper grinder! Yeah.
嗨 Hi.
- 嘿 帥哥們 你們還是來了 - 你好啊 Tasty小姐? - Hey, boys. You finally made it. - What's up, Ms. Tasty?
你好 你好 What's up? What's up?
- 靠 你好火辣 - 是啊 - Damn, you're hot as fuck. - Yeah.
- 我們帶了啤酒和安全套 - 還帶了些乳液給你的咪咪 - We brought beers and rubbers. - And some lotion for your tits.
- 不會很久的 - 很快就好了 - It's not a marathon. - It's a sprint.
- 一觸即發 - 怎麼樣 小妞 - Bang. Yeah. - In chicks.
你是Felicia? You Felicia?
我叫Bobby Jo I'm Bobby Jo.
真是難以置信 我竟然在操一個安曼教的小妞 說真的 多難得 I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean, seriously, what are the odds?
噢 耶! 再猛點 Oh, yeah! More of that.
等一下 你真同意去派對啊? So, wait, you do want to party?
和我們? With us?
是啊 我想要我們一起袒胸露乳的來狂歡 Yeah. I want us all to get naked and party.
操! 簡直不敢相信 Fuck! I can't fucking believe this.
給我滾出來 你這狗娘養的! Get your ass out of the car, motherfucker!
- 你他媽的是誰? - 操你媽的! - Who the fuck are you? - Holy fucking fuck-balls!
好 都是我的錯 Okay, my bad.
我還以為你是另一個傢伙 好吧? Now, I thought you were someone else, all right?
你搞壞了我的車就拿你的來賠吧 You done fouled up my ride, so I'm gonna have to take yours.
操你媽的 Fuck that shit.
給你 拉到左邊去 Here you go. Pulls to the left.
你幹什麼 傻屌? What the fuck, dumb-ass?
嗨 傻瓜 讓開 Hey, highlights, back it up.
去死吧 你這混蛋! Bite my dick, asshole!
你他媽的幹什麼? Ow! What the fuck you do that for?
- Lance? 怎麼會這樣? - 我找的就是這個狗娘養的! - Lance? What the fuck is going on? - That's the son of a bitch I was looking for!
嗨 夥計 你怎麼... Hey, guy. How'd you...
- 查你的網上地圖找到的 SB - 好 - Found your computer maps, douche-bag! - Okay.
別演戲了 既然你和你的男朋友都到這了 Boat show, you and your boyfriend bring it in here.
就把話說清楚吧 I don't need no trouble right now.
來把話講清楚 Let's go. Bring it in.
- Bobby Jo 她是誰? - 誰? - Bobby Jo, who the fuck is that? - BOBBY JO: Who?
- 她! - 她是Felicia - That! - That's Felicia.
她剛藏在後座裏 沒什麼大不了的 She was hiding in the back seat, no biggie.
操! 那她什麼都聽到啦 Fuck! She heard everything then.
- 你好! - 該死的 你是對的 - Hello! - Damn, you're right.
來吧 親愛的 Come on, darling.
- 閉嘴! - 別這樣抓她頭髮 - Shut up! - Now, take it easy on the hair.
- 滾開! - 嗨 嗨 別這樣 - Get down! - Hey, hey, come on.
- 好 好 - 把你的臭手拿開! - All right, all right. - IAN: Take your hands off her!
別打我們的車 - 搞什麼 ANDY: Stop shooting our car. RANDY: Inconsiderate.
求你了! 別這樣! IAN: Please! No!
- 好了 給我站過去 夥計 - Ian? - All right. Get back, man. - Ian?
大夥都別動 Everybody just be cool.
- Felicia 你沒事吧? - 我沒事 - Felicia, you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Ian 在把你雞雞射掉以前快把槍給我 Ian, give me the goddamn gun before you shoot your dick off.
- Rex 我有槍 - Ian! - Rex, I got this. - Ian!
操 Rex 我有槍! 別惹我! 現在別惹我! God damn it, Rex, I got this! Do not fuck with me! Not now!
後退點 夥計 那個甜甜圈不會亂來的 Ease it back, man. That donut ain't fucking around.
把手舉起來 Hands where I can see them.
- Ian 夥計 甜甜圈的嘴也在動 - 我他媽才不管 - Ian, dude, you're working the mouth. - I don't give a shit!
好 好 好 是我不對 你真棒 我以你為榮 Okay. All right, sorry. You're doing so good. Proud of you.
真是難以言表 I mean that. I don't say it enough.
- Tasty和你... - Bobby Jo - Tasty and you... - Bobby Jo.
我是Ian... 給我慢慢站過去 Ian... Over there. Slowly.
你 玉米腸 你可以去打Lance一拳 All right, you, corn-fed, you can punch my friend Lance, but just once.
- 兄弟! 你幹嘛? - 誰叫你拐了人家女朋友 - Dude! What the fuck? - You nailed his girlfriend.
- 不全是那樣的 那只是... - 人家就是那麼覺得的 - Not exactly. I mean, it was... - And he came all this way.
好 好 好 真公平啊 別太用力 All right. All right, fair enough. Just not in the nuts.
真有勁啊 我孩子都要被你打傻了 What a punch. I think my kids are gonna be retarded.
你那一拳可真要命啊 夥計 You got a fucking cannon for an arm, dude.
- 你有點... - 謝謝啊 我耳朵現在還鳴著呢 - Yeah, you got a little... - Thanks. My ears are ringing.
別動! 我警告你! IAN: Stop it! I'm warning you!
別這樣 兄弟 你不會殺人的 Come on, bro. You ain't gonna kill no one.
- 放空槍誰都會 兄弟 - 小心我射你腿 - Anybody can shoot a gun in the air, dude. - I'll shoot you in the leg.
給他點厲害瞧瞧 Ian Suck his cock, lan.
- 來真的? - 我看起來像是要糊弄你嗎? - You serious? - Do I look serious?
我可不認為你會扣扳機 孩子 I don't think you got the plums, boy.
要射腿誰都會 夥計 Anybody can shoot someone in the leg, dude.
- 把槍給我! - 天啊 我該怎麼辦? - Give me the gun! - Jesus, man, what do I got to do?
別動 混球 不然就再給你一槍 Don't move, asshole, or you're a fucking stain.
靠 Ian 你可以嘛! Holy shit, lan. Right on!
你想去哪啊 臭婊子? Where do you think you're going, cunt?
女人打架啦 Cat fight!
*此戰可待成追憶 * (SINGING) 'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
去死吧 雞婆! FELICIA: Damn you, whore!
*只是當時已惘然 * I've forgotten what I started fighting for
*如果我非得歷經磨難 * And if I have to crawl upon the floor
*才能來到你門前 * Come crashing through your door
*寶貝 此戰可待成追憶* Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore
放下武器 甜甜圈! Drop the weapon, donut man!
把手放到頭上! Okay, put your hands on your head!
- 兩支手都要 混蛋! - 我夠不著 - Both hands, asshole! - IAN: I can't move the other arm.
- 誰在說話? 誰在說話? - 我另一個胳膊夠不著 - Who said that? Who said that? - I can't move the other arm.
警官 我不會反抗的 這是泡沫不導電 警官 Sir, I'm not resisting. It's foam, sir.
那個大塊頭的墨西哥傢伙不肯屈服! 開火! The big Mexican won't go down! Take the shot!
- 靠 - 天啊! - Holy shit. - Jesus!
別開火! 別開火 好嗎? Hold your fire! Hold your fire, okay?
他不是壞人! 她才是偷車賊 He is not the bad guy! She is the car thief.
就是她 那個金髮穿著吊帶衫的女人 Right there. The blond, in a belt for a skirt.
還有嗎? FEMALE OFFICER: Anything else?
還有一個叫Luis的傢伙 FELICIA: Oh, yeah, apparently there's a guy named Luis,
他在有一家排骨店在5th Crescent! and he has a chop shop at 5th and Crescent!
- 謝謝 - 我們剛才在車裏上那小妞呢 - Thanks. - We were just banging that chick in our car.
- 是 你剛才已經說過了 - 是啊 超猛的 - Yeah, you mentioned that. - Yeah, super hard.
那傢伙打了我好幾下 他向我開了好多槍 The boy did have some plums. He had some plums.
嗨 這是Rick 他玩室內足球 Hey, this is Rick. He's played arena football.
- 嗨 我叫Mary - 嗨 很高興見到你 - Hi. I'm Mary. - Hi. Nice to meet you.
你朋友可真夠奇怪的 That's a weird little dude you got there.
你們餓了嗎? 有24小時營業的店嗎? LANCE: Are you guys hungry? Is this place open 24 hours?
謝謝你來救我 Thank you for coming for me.
你躲在後座那幹嘛? What were you doing in the back seat?
沒什麼 我只是... Nothing. I was...
- 你跟蹤我 - 沒有 我沒有... - You were stalking me. - No, I wasn't. I...
是啊 我有那麼點是要跟蹤你 Okay. Yeah, I was stalking you just a little.
我只是... 我知道你會做讓你後悔的事 所以我... I just... I knew you were gonna do something you were gonna regret, and I...
Felicia 你為什麼不直說呢? Felicia. Why can't you just say it?
- 那你呢? - 是我先問的 - Why can't you? - Well, I asked you first.
好吧 我來說 Fine. I'll say it.
- 你愛我 - 是啊 - You love me. - Fine.
你也愛我 You love me, too, then.
* 生活如此美妙 * (SINGING) Life is beautiful
* 卻又如此複雜 * But it's complicated
謝天謝地 Thank God.
* 我們無法預料 * We barely make it
操你的 小母牛 You fucking heifer.
- 你修好了! - 是啊 - You fixed it! - Yeah.
別靠在車上 Don't lean on it.
算你小子走運 I guess you get to live.
你們可真厲害 - 謝謝 - IAN: You guys are amazing. - Thanks.
我有事要和你說 Let's talk seriously for a second.
我算了算那些配件和我們的工錢 總共是... 4,200美元 I figure with the parts and labor, you know, out the door... 4,200.
嗯... Oh. Um...
- 剛好是個整數 - 是啊 不 我沒有 ... - It's just a round number. - Yeah. No, I didn't really...
我不知道要怎麼... I don't know what to...
我騙你的 Ian 我們是好兄弟嘛 (LAUGHING) I'm fucking with you, lan. We're good, man.
- 等等 你是說真的嗎? - 當然 我們是好兄弟 別擔心 - Wait, I mean, you're serious? - Yeah. I'm serious. We're good. No worries.
- 你確定? - 當然 - You sure? - Yeah, of course.
- 謝謝你 夥計 - 我很樂意 - Thank you, man. - It's what I live for,
免費幫別人修東西 fixing other people's shit for free.
- 嗨 - 快回家吧 小鬼! - Hey. - REX: Straight home, pussy!
- 兄弟 我們該走了 - 操他媽的! - Dude, we got to go. - REX: Fucking piece of shit!
你們先走 我可能要待在這 阪依安曼教 You go on ahead. I think I'm gonna stay here, kick it Amish.
兄弟 你說什麼呢? Dude, what are you talking about?
我不知道 這裏可以勞作 有新鮮空氣 傳教士體位 I don't know, a little hard work, fresh air, missionary position.
這才是男人的生活 It's a man's life.
- 聽起來不錯吧 - 是啊 聽起來... - Sounds pretty good, you know. - Yeah, it sounds...
拜託 Lance 認真點 Come on, Lance. Get serious.
過來 Come here.
告訴你 我真的很感動 我以你為榮 I gotta tell you, I'm impressed. I'm proud of you, you know.
你總算找到真愛了 You held out for a good one, the one you wanted.
你成功了 And you fucking made it happen.
但我求你件事 帶她去看你祖母吧 But, please, I'm begging you, go take that girl to visit Grandma.
- 好啦 - 去的時候 你別... - All right. - And when you do, don't...
- Lance 我知道了 - 是嗎? - Lance, I got it. - Yeah?
好的 我知道你能行 Okay. I think you might.
- 回頭見 - 再見 - See you. - Bye.
* 不 不 我不擔心 * (SINGING) Well, no, no, me, I never worry
* 因為我還沒試過 * Because, me, I never try
* 我還無法忘懷那未成形的吻別 * And I never care to hold onto what I just couldn't kiss goodbye
- 你確定準備好了嗎? - 是的 - Are you sure you're ready? - Yeah.
好吧 來吧 脫了吧 All right, well, come on, take them off.
來吧 Let's do it.
操他媽的! What the fuck!
把那鞋子給我... Give me that fucking shoe...
你知道嗎? 操你丫的! 我們離婚 You know what? Fuck you! I want a divorce.
幾周後 我陪Felicia參加Tiffany的婚禮 IAN.; A few weeks later, I was Felicia's date to Tiffany's wedding.
但這次 我們不只是朋友 But this time, it wasn't a just-friends kind of thing.
Rex曾經讓我生不如死 And Rex did make my life hell for a while.
在感恩節那天 But that Thanksgiving,
我們終於知道了 他埋藏已久的秘密 we finally found out what's been up his ass all these years.
我是同性戀! 就這樣 I'm gay! And, so, that's it.
到耶誕節那天 我爸爸已經能夠接受這一事實了 IAN.; By Christmas, my dad got used to the idea.
而Rex在那幾天也確實表現的很好 And Rex is actually a pretty great guy these days.
現在他只在瘋狂做愛的時候 才說"基佬"這個詞 Yeah, now he only uses the word faggot during rough sex.
Karen和我希望你能收下這份聖誕禮物 Karen and I want you to have this, for Christmas.
- 聖誕快樂 - 謝謝 - Merry Christmas. - Thanks.
榨汁機 A juicer.
噢 天啊! 真是太棒了 我們得去買點水果了 Oh, my gosh! That's so awesome. Wow, I gotta get some fruit.
喔! (水果fruit也有gay的意思) Wow!
謝謝 謝謝 Thank you, thank you.
Dylan讓Becca懷孕了 不得不重操起我的舊業來 IAN.; Dylan knocked up Becca and had to take my old job.
讓我看看 還有什麼呢? Let's see, what else?
Andy和Randy交了個女朋友 Oh, Andy and Randy finally got a girlfriend.
在新年夜 Felicia和我一起拜訪了祖母 And on New Year's Eve, Felicia and I finally visited Grandma.
再來一次? Again?
好啊 Damn, yes.
- Felicia 你想要這樣嗎? - 是啊 - Felicia, you want to do this? - Yes.
太有趣了! Oh, that was awesome!
- 嗨 孩子們 休息可好? - 謝謝 夥計 謝謝你把車修好 - Hey, boys. You get some rest? - Thanks, man. Thanks for fixing the bus.
- 那是我的榮幸 - 謝謝你把我們的車修好 - A pleasure. - Yeah, thanks for fixing our bus.
- 謝謝 - 也謝謝你們精彩的表演 - Appreciate it. - Thanks for playing that show for us, too.
- 沒事兒 - 就五首歌 - Yeah, no worries. - It was a nice five-song set.
你們代表性的... Yeah, what do you guys typically...
我想你們的報酬一定不錯吧 I assume you get compensated very well for that.
- 生活還好吧 - 是啊 還可以 我是說... - Must be a good living. - Yeah, we do. I mean...
是啊 你知道的 我... 如果我真和你們算起來的話 Yeah, you know, I... Gosh, if I was really to calculate
那你們就別想把車開回去了 what you'd lose if this bus couldn't have gotten back on the road,
如果你們表演不成 if you couldn't have gotten to your shows,
我想那些小姑娘們會痛哭流涕的說 "我要跳舞" I imagine all those weeping teenage girls outside, "I need to dance."
給你些照片怎麼樣? 我們沒帶現金 Could we send you some pictures? We don't really have cash or anything.
- 是簽名照嗎? - 我們也可以給你我們的CD - Some autographed photos? - Or we could give you CDs.
是啊 那也很有用 Yeah, we've got a lot of use for that around here.
這周圍有很多事要做 There is a lot of work that needs to be done around here.
- 你們爽快點 別像個娘們似的 - 我不知道我們能否勝任 - You guys are some strapping young lads. - I don't know if we're really built for that.
- 好啊 - 我聽到了 - Yeah. - I can hear you.
我只想說 你們表演個20分鐘 I'm just saying, you guys put in a 20-minute show,
- 而我們卻花了整晚的時間來修這輛車... - 是啊 - we spent all night on the bus... - Yeah.
我是說那很費功夫的 I mean, that was a lot of work.
或者我們可以先寫個借據 We could maybe try to write a check later on,
要不然就像我剛才說的 我們給你幾張CD or like I said, we could send you guys some CDs.
城市佬總想著用錢來解決問題 City folk are always trying to solve things with money.
我們這講的是社區貢獻精神 It's the spirit of the community around here.
主啊 請寬恕這些迷失的孩子們吧 Lord, please bless this Fall Out Boy.
祝他們一路平安 Keep him safe on the road.
助他取得Jon Bon Jovi的成就吧 Help him to aspire to the heights of Jon Bon Jovi.
- 助他... - 謝謝 - Help him to... - Thanks.
- 好了 謝謝 夥計 - 謝謝 夥計 我們要走了 - Okay, thanks, man. - Thanks, man. We gotta roll.
- 阿門 - 我們得走了 太感謝你了 - Amen. - We gotta roll, man. Thank you very much.
好吧 孩子們 很高興見到你們 All right, boys. It was a pleasure meeting you.
順便說一下 我愛網上你們的陰莖 I loved your penis on the Internet, by the way.
- 真操蛋! - 你個混球! - Fucking asshole! - You're a dick!
* 一口氣說出我和他的名字 * Say my name and his in the same breath
*我敢說你會說他們嘗起來都一樣 * I dare you to say they taste the same
*夏季葉落盡 * Let the leaves fall off in the summer
*冬季綻光芒 * And let December glow feel flames
*自我振作 展翅高飛 * Brace myself and let go
*在墨西哥再來一遍 * Start it over again in Mexico
*那些愛慕虛榮 * These friends, they don't love you
*虛情假意的朋友 * They just love the hotel suites, now
*現如今 只要你想的是我 * I don't care what you think
*我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*只有我們才能在痛苦中 * The best of us can find happiness
*尋覓到快樂 * In misery
*只要你想的是我 * Said, I don't care what you think
*說吧 我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*只有我們才能在痛苦中 * The best of us can find happiness
*尋覓到快樂 * In misery
*噢 改變下 讓你的身體放縱下 * Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance
*我絕非偶然 你以欲罷不能了吧 * I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants
*就像煙轉入喉 * Pull a breath like another cigarette
*來吧 來交換吧 * Palms up, I'm trading 'em
*來交換吧 * Trading 'em
*我心如明鏡 * I'm the oracle in my chest
*就讓吉他如法西斯般咆哮吧 * Let the guitar scream like a fascist
*苦熬 忍受 * Sweat it out, shut your mouth
*大愛無價 * Free love on the streets
*小愛有價 * But in the alley and I ain't that cheap, now
*只要你想的是我 * I don't care what you think
*我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*只有我們才能在痛苦中 * The best of us can find happiness
*尋覓到歡樂 * In misery
*只要你想的是我 * Said, I don't care what you think
*說吧 我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*只有我們才能在痛苦中 * The best of us can find happiness
*尋覓到歡樂 * In misery
*現如今 只要你想的是我 * Said I don't care just what you think
*說吧 我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*只要你想的是我 * Said I don't care just what you think
*說吧 我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*說我不在意 我不在意 * Said I don't care, I don't care
*不 我不 * No, I don't
*我不在意 我不在意 * I don't care, I don't care
*我不在意 * I don't care
*只要你想的是我 * I don't care what you think
*我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*只有我們才能在痛苦中 * The best of us can find happiness
*尋覓到快樂 * In misery
*只要你想的是我 * Said I don't care what you think
*說吧 我管你怎麼想 * As long as it's about me
*只有我們才能在痛苦中 * The best of us can find happiness
*尋覓到快樂 * In misery
嗨 我是Amanda Crew 職業演員 Hi. I'm Amanda Crew, professional actor.
你知道在所有完整版的青少年DVD中 You know in all the teen unrated DVDs,
你絕沒有看過明星們最精彩的部分 you never really get to see the star's naughty parts.
那麼今天將會是一個改變 Well, that is gonna change today.
好吧 坐好哦 That's right. Take a seat,
把門關好 別讓媽媽進來 maybe close the door so mom doesn't come in.
準備好了嗎 仔細看哦 Get all ready. Looks good.
來吧 Here we go.
被騙啦! Suckers!
這可是件很嚴肅的事 This is serious matter.
關乎你們一生的 Run for your life.
噢 靠! 你知道嗎? 我看到桌邊有假的蛋蛋 MAN 1: Oh, shit! You know what? We see the fake balls on the table there.
好 再來一遍 哢 - 哢 MAN 2: All right. We'll shoot another. Cut. MAN 3: Cut.