Yes, the atomic bomb is terrible.
But more terrible still are the effects of atomic mutation.
Hello... I'm Lawrence Woolsey,
and I want to warn you about something that could happen,
something that does happen in my newest motion picture.
Observe the ant,
a miniature marvel of social cooperation and prodigious strength.
But, if a man and an ant...
Were exposed to radiation simultaneously,
the result would be terrible, indeed;
for the result would be...
Mant.
No! No! No!
Dennis, you're gonna miss it.
I feel I should warn you. The story of "Mant!" Is based on scientific fact,
on theories that have appeared in national magazines.
Yes, these terrible events could happen...
In your town, in your home.
And they will happen in this theater...
In "Atomo vision," the new motion picture miracle...
That puts you in the action.
Lawrence Woolsey, the master of movie horror.
In 1960, he hypnotized you.
Look. Look into the eyes of Dr. Diablo.
Yes, master, I will... Huh?
In 1961, he insured you against... Gene, cut it!
Where am I?
Now, in 1962, he exterminates you...
With "Mant!"
Yaah! Gene, God!
It's just me... This time.
Look, Dennis. No nightmares, okay?
Or else you can't see "mant!"
Lawrence Woolsey? He's coming here?
That's right. Tell all your little friends.
Wow! Wow!
Gene, that couldn't really happen,
could it, with the ant?
In fact, it has happened...
Up in Tennessee about a year ago.
This poor bastard got trapped in an uranium mine with a click beetle.
He combined with it. What?
It was six feet tall. They killed it finally,
but a lot of people were deaf by then from the clicking.
The poor bastard!
Don't curse, Dennis.
How's it goin', kid?
So maybe the giant bug saw his mom and dad get crushed by a little kid,
the guts and everything, so he goes looking for a kid he can crush.
Revenge... That's what insects like. Gene.
Gonna go down and shoot some tree frogs.
Wanna come? Yeah, can we?
No. No thanks, Andy.
It's disgusting.
Yeah, disgusting.
* brill cream brill cream *
hi, mom. Hi!
Whoa! Oh, gene, what did you take him to?
A giant bug show! The movie wasn't that scary but the coming attraction was great.
Well, it's not real, sweetie. It's not?
No, of course not. Thanks a lot.
He can take it, can't you, squirt? You're the squirt!
Oh!
Mom, I really want to see that movie. With the bug?
You're gonna get bad dreams. Uh-uh, I promise.
Mm-hmm. We'll see.
Oh, you should've heard his heart beat!
You're scaring him half to death.
In this box we have two white rats.
One, two.
Two women's rats that they put in their hair.
Martha Washington. You got that?
Remember that. Okay.
Bring the lady back in. She doesn't know a thing about this so far.
We want to see whether a woman's unreasoning fear...
Will prevent her from getting a prize.
You could have invited that Andy in.
In our house?
Well, he is your age.
So what? He's a jerk!
Maybe he knows some kids you would like. If you wanna make friends...
Mom, don't you get it? Oh, ouch.
We move to a town, everybody's known each other since nursery school.
The kids in town don't like the kids from the base. Mmm.
Then we move again anyway.
So what's the point?
Your father says we may be here for a few years.
Oh, don't put a plate down for him.
Would you put your hand in there and get the $10?
What's wrong? They sent them out today, a lot a guys from the base.
Out where? I don't know.
He called and said it was some kind of exercise, special ops...
Aw, something.
They won't even tell them for how long. Just had to go.
Well, it's... Yeah. Shh, shh.
$100 in cash if you will just put your hand in there...
Where those two rats are.
All right, come on. Put your hand in.
- Put it in - What is it?
They're white rats, aren't they?
What did they stop it for?
NBC news brings to you from the white house in Washington...
An address by president Kennedy declared to be officially of the highest national urgency.
The president of the United States.
Good evening, my fellow citizens.
This government, as promised,
has maintained the closest surveillance...
Of the Soviet military buildup on the island of Cuba.
Within the past week, hey, mom.
Unmistakable evidence has established the fact...
That a series of offensive missile sites...
Is now in preparation on that imprisoned island.
Several of them include medium-range ballistic missiles,
capable of carrying a nuclear warhead...
For a distance of more than 1,000 nautical Miles.
Each of these missiles, in short,
is capable of striking Washington D.C., cape Canaveral,
or any other city in the southeastern part of the United States.
- They're gonna bomb us? - No. Shh.
A strict quarantine on all offensive military equipment...
Under shipment to Cuba is being initiated.
All ships of any kind bound for Cuba,
where they're found to contain cargoes of offensive weapons, be turned back.
We will not prematurely or unnecessarily...
Risk the cost of worldwide nuclear war,
but neither will we shrink from that risk...
At any time it must be faced.
Gene, is dad in Cuba?
Well,
he's on a ship over near there.
There's a bunch of ships and they're gonna stop the Russians...
From taking any more weapons in there.
How?
If a Russian ships comes they make them stop,
and they go on and search it.
Does dad have to go on too? He might.
What if the Russians don't let them?
I don't know.
I'm scared.
Everybody's scared, everybody in the world.
You have to try not be, okay?
But you wanted me to be scared of "mant!"
You should get some sleep.
Okay, but can you turn the radio on?
Steaming towards the quarantine point...
500 Miles off Cuba in the Atlantic.
Meanwhile, in Washington, round-the-clock meetings are being held...
* the lion sleeps tonight *
* in the jungle the quiet jungle *
* the lion sleeps tonight hup, hup *
* owimoweh, owimoweh owimoweh, owimoweh *
**
* everybody's doin' a brand new dance now *
* come on, baby do the loco-motion * hey, Larry.
Larry! Look at these headlines.
This key west is only 90 Miles from Cuba.
Shouldn't we postpone this a few weeks? You kiddin' me?
The timing's perfect. This war stuff spooks 'em.
Then we come in... pow! The main event. Yeah, right.
Hang with me, baby. This guy, Spector...
Wow! "Man-I-gator,"
"Ali-man."
Spector comes to the preview, he can pick up a phone, book us into 50 theaters.
Well, he'd better.
This came from the lab. If we don't pay up by next Thursday,
they're gonna sue us. Boy, this business has changed!
They used to settle these things with violence. That's cute.
Honey?
Hey, boy! Make sure you get the bugs off that windshield.
I hate bugs.
"She-gator," "gator gal," "gal-I-gator"!
Why don't you hold onto that. I may not be around the next time you need it.
What do you mean? I mean, we're going nowhere, Larry.
Matter of fact, we're there.
If this picture's a flop, I'm gonna look into real life;
which, as we know, lets you out. Wait a minute!
You'd leave me over money? It's not the money, Larry.
It's ducking the people that are trying to collect the money.
Excuse me. That'll be $2, sir.
Here. Thanks.
Hey, aren't you that guy that makes them scary movies?
Well, yes, I am, Richie. Pleasure to meet you.
What are you doin' down here? We're going to key west.
Preview my new picture. I got a new process. It's big.
Don't want any of the boys from the studios comin' around, steal it from me.
Wow! Uh, could you...
Thanks, Mr. Hitchcock.
Listen, don't be surprised if we go on a surgical air strike by 2400 hours.
Blow 'em up! Pow! Cuba's radioactive for nine lifetimes.
Yeah, where'd you hear that?
My dad's Navy. We live on base. Ooh, I'm impressed!
What's your dad do? Motor pool.
They still hear stuff, though.
Maybe we're attacking Cuba with jeeps.
It's only 90 Miles. Yeah, we put pontoons on 'em.
Hey, see that kid over there?
His dad's on one of the blockade ships.
Yeah? Hey!
Tell 'em about your dad. Um, well,
he shipped out but we didn't know where.
Did he call you from there?
They're not allowed 'cause of security. That's tough.
Face-to-face with Ivan, man!
Damn, got color guard.
Ah, man. Look at Michelle.
Think if the bomb were about to fall, she'd do it with me?
Ask her.
Now, your red meat food group,
you want to make sure you have three servings a day to satisfy this food group.
Breakfast: Have bacon, sausage, something of this nature.
Lunch: A hamburger, pork sandwich, something like this. Then dinner...
Okay, people.
This may not be a drill. Single file, quickly.
Assume the duck-and-cover position with your head down. No talking.
Single file. Let's move!
Okay, duck-and-cover position, hands behind the back of your neck.
No talking. Everybody, heads down.
This isn't real. If it was real, they'd use different sirens.
How do you know? My father.
I said, "no talking."
- No, right now! - No, I'm not gonna do this!
We're not having this from you, young lady! This is for your protection!
Yes, but it isn't any protection. It doesn't do any good!
Keep your heads down. If you think it's gonna help...
To put your hands behind your neck when the bomb falls, you're wrong!
Young lady, we've had just about enough of this!
That girl's a communist! Heads down, people!
If you die when the bomb first falls, you're lucky, 'cause if not...
You're gonna get radiation poisoning.
First your hair's gonna fall out, then bleed from your intestines.
You're gonna start throwing up, but you're not throwing up food.
You're throwing up your own organs. Eew!
Yeah, "eew" is right. Principal's office, let's go.
But I won't have the protection of being on the floor if the bomb falls.
I said, "let's go!" They don't tell you the truth!
They tell you put your hands behind your neck, and they keep building bombs.
What is that? It's a man in the bathtub.
He's leaning over and scrubbing himself. Oh, geez.
Tough. Where'd you learn that from? My dad showed me.
That is so stupid! What?
That trick his dad taught him. Never give him a spoon.
Hey, Navy, have a seat.
Good move.
Man! What?
This sandwich! My folks had a fondue party last night.
Now I've got this sliced, solid fondue sandwich. Look at that!
Your folks are having parties during this?
Well, they had it already melted.
Any of you guys going to that horror show on Saturday? Yeah, if they still have it.
If they still have Saturday. Hey, that's deep.
I think it's called "mant!" The guy who made it was on TV.
P.T.A.'S trying to ban him.
Tough. What's his name?
Lawrence Woolsey. He's coming in person. He's got a new process.
What's the process?
It's things like 3-d or when stuff comes out of the walls,
like on "island of the flesh eaters."
They locked the theater so you couldn't get out if you were scared.
Yeah, I heard in this one town...
The projector guy got so scared he died.
That was a different movie, and it didn't happen.
That was the one where they hypnotize you:
"The eyes of doctor Diablo."
Hey, Navy here is a walking encyclopedia.
My name's gene.
They hypnotized you?
I don't know. They guaranteed that you wouldn't remember.
That'd be the best show to take a girl to.
She gets really scared so she grabs onto your arm.
You kinda sneak your arm over in there. Hey, quit it!
- Your elbow doesn't count, man. - Sure, it counts!
What is there, rules?
Hey, Navy! Wait up!
We move every year, sometimes more.
You move every year? How many gym suits do you have?
I have three wildcats, two pirates, two cougars. Wow!
You got a date for that show Saturday? No.
You oughta get one. This is a kinda special place you're in here.
Florida? No, key west.
It's like the make-out capital of the world.
It's like there's something in the air. Even grown-ups like doin' it.
Get a date for Saturday and see what I mean. I haven't met anybody.
Just walk up and ask 'em. It's easy. Like, "I'm taking you to a monster movie."
"Don't worry about the monster gettin' you. Worry about me.
"Don't be late. I wanna get milk duds." Really, like that?
Yeah, 'cause you're in control, man.
She likes that.
What?
Sherry, hi.
Hello, Stan.
Uh, this is my friend gene from out at the base.
Uh, gene's father's on one of those blockade ships...
Off of Cuba. Oh, my gosh! Is he?
You must be so worried about him. But, that's wonderful.
I think everybody's thinking about "our boys,"
not that your father's a boy or anything. Well, he's forty.
I think people naturally refer to them as "our boys."
And I think there should be a special prayer moment...
For all of them in study hall.
So do I.
Yeah?
Well, I guess I'll see you guys later.
Bye, Stan. Bye.
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
The last guy she went out with is in reform school. Yeah?
Yeah, this guy, Harvey Starkweather, really bad kid.
Wow! I see that girl, I just...
Listen, we gotta get a date for you.
You wanna come over after school? Um, okay. Sure.
All right, better hurry, you're gonna be late.
The entertainment capital...
Of this country is Las Vegas.
What's the attraction that all support, all of the moralists,
all of the sensors, all of the senators? All right, this part here.
Tits and ass is the attraction.
I beg your pardon. Give me the second biggest attraction.
More tits and ass. That's it.
Tit's and ass and ass and tits. Damn, it's my mom!
Stan?
Uh, we're in here, mom.
Thank God you're home. Everybody is so crazy out there.
Uh, mom, this is gene. Oh, hi, gene.
Gene's from on base. What have you heard over there?
They don't tell us much.
They're sayin' on the radio that the world is right on the brink,
and that is the terms they're puttin' it in.
Do you know they are using the Casa marina hotel for a barracks?
I almost couldn't get back here.
They got army trucks comin' down the a-one-a holdin' everybody up.
Cool! Let's go look. Stanley!
Mom, I'll be all right. Don't worry about it.
All right, but you stay within 17 minutes of this house, you understand?
And if you see that flash, you don't look.
You get down... And I put my jacket over my head.
Then get home as fast as you can.
Gene, you just get on back to the base then, all right? Yes, ma'am.
All right. Mom, don't worry.
Don't worry. Huh!
Damn!
Let's go! Move out, on the double!
Go! Go! Go! Move 'em out!
What's that one? That's a mobile radar unit.
That one there? That's a missile launcher.
Man, that little thing can reach Cuba?
That's the plan.
See right over there? That's where I got on top of Denise Rogers last summer.
Fellows, we need you outta this area.
Gonna pull some trucks up in here. Uh, sure.
Man, what's the deal? Watch it! Watch it!
Ow! It's a riot!
I know. It's tough.
Hey, look!
Hey, excuse me! Hey, let go of that!
Both of you, stop it! That's my shredded wheat!
Is there more in the back? There's no more shredded wheat in the back.
There's no more in the whole keys,
and one of you will have to go to the atomic destruction...
With no damn shredded wheat.
What do you think about that? I think it's my box...
Hello, Mr. Elroy. Hello, uh, son.
Hey!
You will have your answer in due coarse.
I'm prepared to wait for my answer until hell freezes over, if that's your decision.
He said "hell." That's okay. It's a crisis.
He has been watching this all afternoon.
Will you please continue your statement.
Why don't you take him to the movies?
They've got one of those flying Professor pictures.
You could go see a movie without a monster for once. No monsters?
No! Hell.
- Where did he get that from? - The U.N.!
We have no time to lose.
We have to find Uncle Cedric before he gets into more trouble.
What does Uncle Cedric look like? He's a shopping cart,
chromium finish, and his right front wheel, it's sort of wobbly.
A shopping cart? Yes!
He wasn't always a shopping cart.
He had a spell put on him and it's all my fault because...
All right, stick 'em up, both of youse.
Gimme youse purse.
Ooh! All right!
Hold it right there!
Uncle Cedric!
You see,
he likes you.
Can we go home yet?
Uh-huh.
They're playing this thing on Saturday...
Unless you people stop them! Ask the people who run this theater.
Ask 'em why they're selling this town's kids, your kids, down the river.
Look at this! Monsters taking women and...
Wait a minute! Have you seen the movie?
No, I haven't, miss. Uh-huh.
I haven't taken a tour of the sewer, but I know what's down there.
This guy, Woolsey, his pictures are all the same,
a cheap thrill for a bunch of hop-headed teenagers.
What about letting people make their own decisions? Yeah.
Sure, let the kids see it. They'll wake up screaming every night.
Let them forget about church, school and...
Oh man, come on! Sure, and let the fellas at the base come too.
Just when this country needs to be strong.
Are you sayin' these people are commies? It's not about politics!
Hold on a minute. It's him!
I'm Lawrence Woolsey. Who are you fellas?
We're from citizens for decent entertainment.
I've never heard of your organization. You're gonna hear.
I don't think you're being very fair to my movie.
They were fair to your movie in little rock, pal.
Look what it got 'em. Full-scale panic.
- People terrified - Let him finish!
Thanks. I don't have a big speech to make,
but I was under the impression that key west was a pretty sophisticated place,
- not like coming to some hick town. - nah, do your worst.
I would like to hand out some free passes so people can decide for themselves...
If this movie is really so terrible. That's fair.
It's true that my movies show things that others won't show,
things that some people say are shocking,
things that some people are scared to even imagine.
But is that really more terrible than the world we live in every day?
That's a real pretty speech, pal. Does that help you sleep nights...
While you're turning kids into hoodlums? I sleep like a baby, my friend.
We gonna get free passes? Here you go, Sonny.
Here. Maybe you two could decide for yourselves.
Thanks, but that's not the way we get our kicks.
What about the first amendment?
There's no first amendment to the ten commandments, pal.
Herb Denning.
I knew it!
Stan, before we go out on Saturday,
there's something I have to talk to you about. Sure.
You know, for a while I was seeing this older boy, Harvey Starkweather.
I heard that. It was a mistake. I see that now,
although in some ways he was a very good person.
He was really sensitive.
Did you know he writes poems? Really?
Yeah. I could tell you one if you'd like to hear it.
Yeah, uh, sometime. Okay.
Anyway, he used to get himself involved in things, like holding up liquor stores.
It's over now, although he did teach me a lot.
What about?
Well, about my body, my desires,
about being a woman.
He was very good for me.
Stan?
You don't think they're gonna shoot off those missiles, do you?
No, I don't... Because Harvey was always saying...
That the whole world's gonna blow up anyway, so we should just do whatever we want.
That's crazy. I know.
This writer in New York that Harvey sent his poems to...
Said that Harvey was an example of a complete primitive.
I could've told him that.
I don't think they'll set the missiles off.
Kennedy and Khrushchev are probably working this whole thing out right now.
- It's on this high level. - It makes more sense when you explain it, Stan.
We'll have a good time on Saturday. One thing I thought we might do,
they're showing this movie at the strand where this guy... That sounds nice, Stan.
But in Mallory square they're having a special exhibit on coral,
little animals and things people make out of it.
That sounds great. Okay.
So, I'll see you there about 1:00. All right.
* ah-ooh wait and see *
* my boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble *
Hi.
Hello. Uh, my name's gene.
I saw you in that air raid drill yesterday.
Yeah, the whole world did.
What did they do to you? Detention for a week.
Wow!
They put Gandhi away for a year.
I don't know that many people here. Uh-huh.
You're not one of those guys by the tetherball, are you?
No, I just met them.
I mean, I just moved here this year.
I've lived here all my life. You haven't missed much.
I thought people were supposed to like it here.
It's supposed to be the most wonderful place on earth.
The beautiful coral reef! The beautiful hibiscus flower! Blah, blah, blah.
If it's such a wonderful place, how come the negro kids have to go to a different school?
I don't know. I guess they do that...
It's because they're not really supposed to be people,
neither are the Russians.
If they're not real, just go ahead and kill them, send in the Navy.
My dad doesn't want to kill anyone.
Who's your dad? He's on one of those ships...
Over by Cuba.
I'm sorry, I didn't... That's okay.
You must be worried about him.
Well, I hope he's all right.
Thanks.
**
Tell me your name.
I'm not mad. I just wanna know your name.
Stan. Stan, you're gonna have to give me some answers.
If you don't, then I'm gonna have to hurt ya!
What's that gonna solve?
It's not gonna solve anything,
just more pain.
Answers? About yourself and Sherry. You goin' out with her?
Well, we were gonna look at some coral on Saturday.
Coral?
She likes coral.
All those little animals givin' up their bodies to make somethin' pink for Sherry.
You can't do it, Stan.
You can't do anything with her.
And you can't tell her we had this little talk...
Because the fact that things like this have to happen,
it's crazy, you know?
Well, uh, maybe it doesn't have to happen.
No, Stan, it does.
It's like I once wrote in a poem:
Destiny...
It's like a crazy river...
Where you see different people's boats...
That they have going by on it.
But tomorrow,
tomorrow's a knife.
Tomorrow's a big knife.
You get it? Uh... sort of.
It's abstract, Stan.
Mr. Woolsey? Hello, son. Good to see you.
Comin' to the show Saturday? Sure.
I was here the other night when you got here. Uh-huh.
You know those two guys who were yelling at you about your movie?
Oh, yeah. We get some of those people in every town.
Sometimes it's a church group, sometimes the P.T.A.
They mean well, but... One of those guys was herb Denning.
He was in "the brain leeches."
He played the third man at lunch counter. Mmm.
Just cruise it around town for a few hours:
Schools, Navy base.
You see, son,
herb turned against me.
Okay, he didn't turn against me. He's still working for me.
What's your name? Gene loomis.
You're very observant, gene. That's a good habit.
Hi, how ya doin'? Saturday night, right here.
Big show. Don't miss it.
Herb's an interesting guy. He used to be kind of, uh,
well, dishonest: Shakedown artist, strong arm.
Someone sent him to collect money from me just when I needed an inexpensive actor.
Isn't it fun to know these things about your favorite stars?
He's pretty good. Bob's even better. That other guy?
But he got himself on the stupid blacklist. That's why he's workin' for me.
They're both good. It's just hard to get people around here stirred up.
Could be this bomb business.
I don't have to tell anyone those guys work for you.
You want a pass for the show Saturday? I've already got one.
What do you want? To help you out.
You must have a lot to do.
Okay, you're with the show for an hour. There you are.
What is all this? It's a secret. Can you keep a secret?
I already am. Right!
These are a little surprise for the audience rigged to the seat cushion.
Feel that.
Aah! Giving it to the people right where they need it most.
Cool. Mr. Woolsey,
this is a national crisis that's going on.
If you start vibrating the theater and scaring people...
What is that? Conelrad, the civil defense channel.
They're tied straight in to the distant early warning. If there's an attack,
they will broadcast on this wavelength a full 90 seconds before we have local sirens.
I really wish you'd... Anyway, you see what I'm saying.
The country is on red alert. People are already scared.
Exactly! What a perfect time to open a new horror movie.
Think of it, my friend. Millions of people...
Looking over their shoulder waiting for God's other shoe to drop,
never knowing if each kiss, each sunset,
Each malted milk ball might be their last.
Please.
We're halfway home.
We'll fill this place. What's capacity here?
Five hundred down here and a hundred in the balcony. That's all for the balcony?
Safety restrictions, termites, the tropics. Whatever, we'll fill it.
The yokels are on pins and needles.
Mr. Woolsey, people in key west are not yokels.
Then they shouldn't have any problem with it.
I'm glad you spoke up.
What a jerk! Oh, I kinda like him.
You know where we can find a hardware store? Yeah, I'll show ya.
I didn't think anybody'd recognize herb.
You spend your whole life sittin' in monster movies? A lot, yeah.
Somebody like herb or Vincent price,
it's like they're my friends. That's a strange group.
What are your real friends like? I don't have too many.
My dad's in the Navy, so we move all the time.
Oh, man! Five hundred new kids a year? That's scary.
One time we moved. This was to the big town, Hatfield, Missouri.
I was petrified of those guys.
Really? Oh, yeah.
But see, now I get my revenge.
I get to scare everybody else, but it's for their own good.
People go like this at the scary parts.
They're not gettin' the whole benefit. You gotta keep your eyes open.
What's the benefit? Okay, like, uh...
A zillion years ago a guy's livin' in a cave.
He goes out one day. Bam! He gets chased by a mammoth.
He's scared to death but he gets away.
When it's all over with, he feels great.
Yeah, 'cause he's still living. But he knows he is,
and he feels it.
So he goes home, back to the cave, first thing he does,
he does a drawing of the mammoth.
And he thinks...
People are comin' to see this!
Let's make it good!
Let's make the teeth real long and the eyes real mean!
Boom!
The first monster movie. That's probably why I still do it.
Make the teeth as big as you want, then kill it off.
Everything's okay. The lights come up.
You see, the people come into your cave with the 200-year-old carpet.
The guy tears your ticket in half. It's too late to turn back now.
The water fountain's all booby-trapped and ready,
the stuff laid out on the candy counter.
Then you come over here to where it's dark.
Could be anything in there! And you say...
"Here I am!
What have you got for me?"
Hey, Larry. Where do you want me to put this thing?
Put it next to the ax on the floor up there, sweets.
What ax?
Isn't that...
Ruth Corday.
She's somethin', huh?
She's got that... Bearing.
All the real stars have that,
whether they're movin' big equipment...
Or whatever.
They got it.
Yeah. Hey, don't!
Don't touch that part. I'll get that later. Just leave it.
Is all this stuff yours? Yeah!
"Atomo vision," "rumble Rama."
It takes a lot more to scare people these days.
Too much competition. Give me them pliers, will ya, kid?
Now they got bombs that'll kill a half a million people.
Nobody's had a good night's sleep in years.
So, you gotta have a gimmick, you know? Somethin' a little extra.
Hey, that thing's live!
I'm sorry!
I'd better go. Um, I'll see you Saturday.
Yeah, God willing.
Hello?
Sherry, it's Stan.
Hello, Stan.
Um, listen, uh...
I'm not gonna be able to go with you on Saturday.
Oh, no? How come?
Well, uh, coach Burnett called,
and they want guys to put sandbags up in front of the all-purpose room...
In case there's a missile attack.
Oh, Stan, the all-purpose room?
Yeah, 'cause it faces South.
They think it's gonna take all day, unfortunately.
I'm sorry.
I understand. That's important.
So, we'll just do it next weekend.
Uh, yeah.
I'll see you at school.
Bye, Stan.
* Johnny angel Johnny angel *
hey, Sherry. Dwight, you little brat.
Go back and knock first. Uh-uh.
You weren't supposed to write to that guy in jail! Gimme those!
Boy, these are dirty. His poems don't rhyme. They're not supposed to rhyme.
I'm gonna show mom. You are not!
What do you want? You to take me to the horror movie Saturday.
It's got a guy that turns into an ant.
Some people throw up at it. How wonderful!
Okay. Okay, okay.
Neat!
This one's real hot! Better hold onto it.
**
* oh yes * we should've elected Nixon.
He put those bombs in Russia. * I'm the great pretender *
this whole thing would be over.
* pretending that I'm doing well * blow each other up.
* my need is such * they don't even have religion.
* I pretend too much * how ya doin'?
* I'm lonely but no one can tell * we're doin' fine, my friend.
Except for this big truck load of sociopathology...
That's just about to be dumped out here on Duval street. We're just dandy.
Socio what? This so-called monster movie that's coming on Saturday.
I never heard about that.
Maybe it's time you took a good look at what's going on in your own town, mister.
Wake up and smell the coffee. Smell the wreckage of young minds.
Gag on it. What's your name, friend?
Harvey. Do you know they let children see these things?
What's the message they put out?
That atomic power is nothing but trouble?
And it's all right for mutations to rip the clothes off of young women?
That's what they teach the youngsters, Harv.
That's a long way from George Washington and the cherry tree, isn't it?
Yeah.
This is our organization, Harv:
Citizens for decent entertainment.
Gee, can I keep this?
Sure. Keep it and read it, Harv.
Yeah, I will.
Harv, I don't think you'll mind if I take this back from you.
You must get caught pretty often, Harv. You ever do any time?
Yeah, opa-locka boys' reformatory.
I just got out. I did seven months. Not long enough.
You didn't learn very much. It was supposed to be a year,
but, you see, I write poems, and this guy in New York got me out early.
Poems? Yeah, you wanna hear one?
I don't think so, Harv. You guys really from that, uh...
It's a funny world, Harv. Almost nobody's what they seem to be.
And the ones that are, you really have to watch out for.
Can we give you some advice?
Get yourself a square job, Harv.
You're not very good at this.
Hold 'im.
And at one hour, twenty-eight minutes, "the end" comes up,
count five, house lights up.
Those doors open.
That's the timetable. Those are the facts.
That's not the whole story.
I know some of you have never been in the motion picture business before,
and some of you have been at it a long time.
But I want all of you to look at the faces out here...
During this picture.
There's gonna be room in their heads for only one thought:
Don't let it get me.
They know we can't hurt 'em,
but they're still gonna be scared half to death.
And all of you, when you thread the projector,
when you tear the tickets,
when you sell the jujubes,
you're all a part of it.
And just when it gets the worst, when they're sitting there...
And their hearts are going like trapped animals out here in the dark,
we save them.
And they say, "hey, it's all right!
Thank God! Hey, can I see that again?"
P.S., no, they can't.
We clear between shows.
That was wonderful, Larry. I'm all a-tremble. Thanks.
Where are the guys applying for the job? Only one showed up.
I sent him to try the suit on. Only one?
How many people are gonna want to dress up in a rubber "mant" suit?
Hey, not bad.
Lawrence Woolsey. Harvey Starkweather.
Take your head off.
Harvey Starkweather.
What kind of job exactly... It's just a one-day thing.
Some of it's running electrical stuff,
switches and things back here behind the screen.
But the other part, you have to scare people!
Really shake 'em up. Think you could do that?
Yeah, I could do that real well. Good.
Because, when you put the suit on, when you hit these switches,
those people... This is where I came in.
Those people out there in the dark...
Fred! Oh, my God!
Shh. You'll wake the kids up.
Are you kidding? I'll wake them up right now. No, honey.
I would have called you to say it was over,
but they want to keep a lid on it.
Dad?
See the nurse before the show.
Major Rudolph Anderson, a Navy pilot from South Carolina,
was shot down by a Russian missile over Cuba earlier today and is presumed dead.
Anderson, the first-known casualty of the showdown,
was one of the pilots whose reconnaissance...
First revealed the presence of Soviet missiles in Cuba.
I hope this thing closes faster than it opens.
Thirty seconds. All right, let's add it up.
Office to stairwell, fifty-eight seconds.
Stairwell to shelter, eleven seconds.
Zero hour checklist, fifteen seconds.
Check air-intake level, eight seconds.
Automatic door, twenty-eight seconds.
Sixteen and five is twenty-one, twenty-two...
Stan, how's it going?
Hey, any of you guys seen gene? So!
Sherry! Neat!
So this is how you're spending your day, not sandbaggin' the all-purpose room.
Down here at the monster show? No!
See, I... That's very immature, Stan.
Who's that? That's nobody.
I'm telling anyway.
Sherry, wait. The all-purpose room?
Oh, man.
Sign here, please.
What are these things for? It's a release form.
It says it's not our fault if the movie scares you to death. Wow!
It's not a joke. We've had ten-year-old kids having heart attacks at this movie.
They're recovering, but we can't be exposed legally. Now, if you don't sign...
But, we're not scared, are we, Dennis?
No.
Nurse! I cut my elbow!
That looks terrible. Next!
Sign here, please.
Hey, look it!
- Sandra! - Hi!
I didn't know you liked monster movies.
I'm here with my parents.
Here she is. Whoa! Oh, God!
That's disgusting. I know, Rhonda.
Well, the point isn't whether we like it or not. No.
If we start letting them tell us what movies we can see,
or what music we can listen to, then... I know, Jack.
Oh! Um...
Okay, well, we'll, uh... We'll see you later.
Okay, yeah.
Bye. Bye.
Those two for real?
'Course they're real.
They're my parents.
They're great, you know.
Don't be scared. What actually happens in this?
It's just a movie. Right, I just heard they had some other things.
Well, there's some stuff to make it scarier.
When the guy in the movie says, "you don't understand.
"My wife is in there. My God, look out," that's cue number five.
Turn one up to four, two up to three. Uh-huh.
For cue number six, one goes to five, two goes to seven,
but you never ever turn one above six.
Right. Now this stuff over here.
The guy's gonna say: "Stay down low and don't look. Those are atomic weapons."
Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip.
Okay. You're not a bad-lookin' kid.
You ever done any acting?
How do you do it?
Never mind. Go put your costume on.
Do you like poetry? Just the man I was looking for.
That's some audience. They're practically tearing the place to shreds.
I would like to be paid in cash as soon as the show is in.
As a matter of fact, I'd like to be paid in cash for both shows.
Mr. Woolsey, we've never shorted anyone, really!
You should learn how.
The roar of the crowd.
Hi! How are ya?
Good to see ya. Enjoy the show.
No running. Good to see ya.
We want "mant!" We want "mant!"
Down here looks good.
Hello, I'm Lawrence Woolsey.
The feeling at this atomic test site is an anxious one,
but then, you're about to see for yourselves what I mean.
My terrifying new process, "Atomo vision,"
puts you, the audience, at ground zero,
not a safe place to be.
But today, there is no safe place to be.
How we doing, nurse?
Just too dazzled by show business to speak. That's the stuff.
Hey, Wooley? Mr. Spector!
Hey, how's it going? Sensational!
Ruth, this is Mr. Spector from megalopolitan theaters.
Enchanté.
I'm up here. Oh.
Hello, Mr. Spector.
How are you, Harold? How are the numbers?
It's Howard. We're sold out.
Fantastic. What did I tell ya? I wouldn't have to wear this uniform anymore.
The question is how the picture will play with an audience. That's what I'll be watching.
What the hell is that?
War news. Oh, you got a bet on it?
When you see what I've got cooked up!
Wait'll you see the feelers on this thing. I'm sure it's wonderful.
I'm sorry. That's all the balcony can safely hold.
There's a few seats in front. Oh, man!
It all started out so innocently...
With one of those dental checkups you're supposed to get every six months.
Bill and I always thought if you just do what you're supposed to,
then life works out for you.
Popcorn? How wrong we were.
You're lucky to be alive, bill.
I wish I was dead. How could such a thing happen, Dr. Grabow?
X rays, Carole, a form of radiation.
An ant must've bitten bill when he was having his teeth x-rayed.
I've been meaning to have the office fumigated, but I've been too darn busy!
Anyway, the ant's saliva must have gotten into bill's bloodstream...
And gone straight to his brain just as the radiation,
which is measured in units called roentgens, was released.
And that's how he became a... "Mant!"
Oh, bill. He's in a biological no-man's-land...
Gene? Somewhere between the insect kingdom and our own.
Is it reversible? I'm afraid not, Carole.
Excuse me.
Once a radioactive event has taken place... I'll always be this thing!
Don't say that, darling. You're still bill, my bill.
So where were you? I wasn't trying to get out of anything.
I had a date with Sherry. We were going to look at coral animals.
Mm-hmm. So? What happened?
Harvey Starkweather.
He basically said he'd kill me.
Now she's here with her brother and she wants to kill me!
Tell the truth, honey. If I looked like this when we first met...
I would've been afraid, bill. I would've been very afraid.
Can I sit with you guys at least?
Sure.
Hey, isn't that that "ban the bomb" girl you're with?
We're just sitting together.
You hound!
By the way, I did get your x rays back, bill.
I don't 'spose it makes much difference to you now, but you didn't have a cavity!
Come in.
Welcome, doctor.
Who's this guy?
I took the liberty of inviting Dr. Flanken here.
He's with the office of unforeseen atomic events in Washington.
Young man, I'm afraid you've suffered some of the worst...
Of what our mighty little friend, the atom, has to offer.
It can power a city... Or level it.
How can it cause this?
Human insect mutation is far from an exact science.
But there are some things we do know.
You'll continue to metamorphose... or change,
taking on more ant-like characteristics.
And... you'll grow,
become bigger.
I'm sorry, bill!
Sorry?
Do you think this is some picnic for me?
Did you hear what I just said?
Picnic! Get it? Ants... picnic.
What am I, alone here? That's funny!
- Isn't it funny, doctor? - Doctor, watch out!
- What's happening to him - He's all right.
Any ant would react to a small dose in the same way.
You're just seeing it in a magnified... or larger form.
Oh, bill.
Thanks, doc. I needed that.
We said we would try and live a normal life, but we were kidding ourselves.
Crumbs! How long can I exist on crumbs? I'm hungry!
I'll show you!
Go, my brothers and sisters! Go!
You're free! Free! No, bill.
Behold the great emancipator!
And now, to go downtown. No, bill, you mustn't.
I'll call Dr. Grabow. Get away from the telephone, Carole.
Don't make me use this.
Gotcha!
Oh, bill, if you could just listen to the man in you and put the insect aside.
Insecticide? Where? No! No, I mean...
Doctor, he belongs in a hospital, not in a prison.
Where would you have me send him, a funny farm or an ant farm?
How could you be so cruel?
How could you not love me now that I'm the only real man in your life?
Just kidding, bill.
Electricity plus atomic energy.
Now he'll grow at an accelerated... Or speeded up rate.
Oh! Oh!
Are you all right? I hope so.
We'll have to have that bite looked at. Uh-huh.
Good lord, he's becoming huge!
Who can possibly stop him the way he... look out!
He's breaking through the roof!
The American blockade has intercepted one ship,
the Soviet cargo vessel Marucla, which was boarded by armed sailors...
From two U.S. destroyers this morning.
That inspection was described as tense but no weapons were found.
Today, an anxious world holds its breath waiting for the next confrontation,
waiting for the next rumor of war.
The presidential press secretary, Pierre Salinger, has scheduled a statement.
Sherry.
Oh, hello, um... Gene.
Gene. Yes. I hope you and your friend Stan are enjoying the show.
I'll have a Hershey bar and popcorn, please.
Could I talk to you for a minute? What about?
About Stan. This wasn't his fault today.
He really wanted to go see the coral with you. I find that hard to believe.
Well, it wasn't the coral so much. See, Stan likes you.
He really likes you. He certainly has a strange way of showing it.
He was probably afraid that you'd think it was childish to, um...
To be here? I do.
Yeah, well, he was gonna go with you.
But then he remembered he said he'd go to this movie with me and my little brother.
You see, Stan kind of calms Dennis down...
When he gets scared.
He's like an Uncle to him. To your brother?
Sure. And he knew Dennis was really looking forward to it.
And he said: "I can't do it. I can't let the little guy down."
That's sweet of him, thinking about a little boy.
We're missing it. Go away, Dwight.
I'm telling. That's the kind of guy Stan is.
He just thought with... Our dad being out there,
he didn't want Dennis being alone in here.
And with you living on the base and being less advantaged...
Oh... That is moving. I know.
Hold your fire!
What in creation do you call that thing? Bill.
Bill, this is general Ankrum.
Surrender now. Come down off that building.
We've got sugar for you.
Men, fire your D.D.T. Missiles.
Major cities, resort areas.
It's all gonna be looking like the surface of the moon.
People should be prepared to...
This is it!
A direct hit. It didn't even stun it.
Sherry! Stan, gene explained everything to me.
I'm so sorry. I didn't realize.
There's only one thing left, atomic weapons.
"Zero hour checklist."
Fish food!
Quickly! It's headed for that movie theater.
It? Don't you understand? He's not a monster, he's a shoe salesman!
Would you let that fit you in a pump?
A real general wouldn't say that. Shut up.
**
Look out behind you. It came out of the screen!
Don't worry, Dennis. It's just some guy in a suit, okay?
Look out! There, in the tenth row!
It's in the theater. How could this happen?
Look out!
He looks mad, doesn't he?
Run for your lives! Don't let it get you!
Oh, no! He's got ahold of someone!
Run! Run!
Jesus, what the hell's he doin' to that kid?
You're supposed to scare him, you idiot hick!
Hey, come back!
Wait! It's leaving. It's going outside.
Thank God!
Oh, what was it?
See what he's putting back? The showmanship.
This, to my mind, is what's been missing!
Do you really think these atomic things will change bill back?
That kid is not laying a hand on me, Larry. There are limits.
Okay, okay, I'll talk to him.
Great stuff.
Stop! Don't shoot!
Stan? In here.
What happened? That guy was crazy!
I don't know, man, but I scared him away with this.
Look at this. It's a fallout shelter. We've got one at home.
See this? It purifies the air so you don't breathe in the fallout.
What's this thing for?
Nothing.
And this bike? Generator. To run the lights and everything.
There's a shower and books if you get really bored.
There's no phone!
Oh! Right.
Wh...
Who? What are you doing in here?
Get out! The door is closing!
Hurry up! Hurry up! It's happening!
This is it! The bomb's exploding!
Let me out! Let me in!
We're locked in.
Listen.
Was that... it?
Was that really it?
Uh, I don't know.
I can't find him anywhere. He went out this door and I was scared and...
Okay.
I love you. Bye.
Why is this terrible thing happening?
I have been over and over in it my mind and I can't find an answer.
All night I lie awake thinking.
Why? Why does it have to happen?
You're a doctor. Tell me.
I wish I knew, Carole.
I wish I knew.
Wrote this too, did ya?
Yeah.
Excuse me a minute.
It's not fair!
It's supposed to be for me!
Hey, you see that kid in the ant suit?
The Russians have attacked. The bombs are falling.
You saw this on TV? No. It went out.
They must've hit the TV stations first.
And then everything started shaking from the blast waves!
My God.
It's not the Russians. It's "rumble Rama."
What?
That stupid kid I hired, he probably turned all my stuff up way too high.
Did you hear any air raid sirens? No, but...
What about your radio, your Conelrad?
My radio.
My radio is, is... Is in my office.
Well, um...
Well, I, uh, I guess everything is...
Wait a minute. There are two kids in there! My fallout shelter!
Let 'em out. I can't.
It's on a time lock. It won't open for months. It's not my fault.
Is there food? Yes, but...
I forgot to set the air-intake blower.
The which? The air-intake blower. It brings the air in.
There's no air in there? There won't be soon.
Dandy.
Well, we'll have to pop this off right here. Find crowbars and hammers.
Sure.
They guaranteed it couldn't be opened. Who?
The people who sold it to me.
Boy, am I in the wrong business.
Gene?
Yeah?
What if we're the only ones that made it into one of these things in time?
Then... Then we'd be the only people in the whole world.
It's like we're... Like we're what?
Adam and Eve.
I mean, if there are still gonna be people afterwards...
Babies.
Well... yeah.
Then maybe they will be the ones that'll live here without blowing it up.
It's our responsibility to carry on.
That's right.
Are you scared?
Yeah.
Me too.
Mom! Yes. You okay?
Gene and "mant" went out the door with... with him!
Uh... hi. Uh, are you gene's mom? Yeah.
But how can this be a free speech issue? I don't know.
That ant can't hurt you, so don't be scared.
Ants. American movies.
Where is he? You see, uh, gene and this girl Sandra got stuck in a...
Sandra? My Sandra?
Good lord! Bill, put that down!
Hey, quit it, you guys!
Whoa, young man.
I want you to wait for me right here. Don't you move.
Don't move!
There's something alive.
They want to get in. We have to let them in!
But the radiation. That doesn't matter!
Sandra? What are you doing?
Oh, Rhonda!
Mom! Oh, my God!
Are you okay? Looks like he's doin' okay to me.
Thank you. We thought everyone else was dead.
You were acting like everyone was dead. Your little brother has been terrified!
No, mom... Excuse me! Excuse me, excuse me.
Stan, do you really have one of those shelters at your house?
Yeah, down in the basement.
He usually doesn't even meet people.
Is the boy military? Oh, God.
Well, it's rough, kid. But on the plus side the world's still here.
No, no, no! It's just that stupid kid.
He's going crazy with my stuff.
Where'd he go? It lost us.
There he is!
Stop him! Someone stop him!
- He's got that woman! - She's a nurse!
Where's he taking her?
- After him! - But it's so...
So what? Do you know what something like that will do to a human woman?
I told Larry I'm not doing this! Don't put a hand on me.
Come on! Put me down! Beautiful, beautiful!
You're not even going the right way, you jerk!
You're supposed to go out the lobby!
Hey, what're you... Put me down, you moron!
That Woolsey's a genius.
You can't drop an atomic bomb on Chicago!
We've evacuated the civilians to a safe place.
Safe from fallout, from radiation poisoning?
No more screamin' or I'll cut you!
There they are.
He's just a bug, a big bug.
He's got a knife!
And it's a big knife. Give me the money fast!
A million dollars worth of radar can't track it.
Enough fire power to wipe out a regiment can't even scratch it.
Come on, Sherry.
You're comin' with me! We're going far away. Please don't hurt her!
Come on! We belong out there.
It's like a poem I wrote: The road, the sacred pavement.
We are the traffic. We are what we traffic in.
And the truck stops here. It's no skin off my asphalt.
It's just a line, just a yellow line.
No! My socks are red and I'm ready to ride.
What does she see in that guy?
Hold it, son. We'll call the police.
Give me the police.
It's still shaking. Feel it?
Help me, somebody! Help!
Somebody help me! Stop!
Once we so cleverly let that atomic genie out of its bottle,
there is no putting it back, gentlemen.
Wow, that thing's ready to drop.
We gotta get everybody off of there.
Do we turn off the movie? Then they stomp.
Come on!
It's a different world now...
From the one we knew only a few short years ago.
What's going on? We're gonna have to get a little ahead of the picture here.
Make sure the aisles are clear.
Open the back doors, will ya, hon?
Kid, heat up number two for me, will ya?
Why would you want to examine me now when bill is out there... Clear the aisles.
Take your seats. I saw that. And the army's sending missiles?
Your appointment is today. People always find a reason to put it off.
That's the thing people like to do.
Um, yes, but after everything that's happened, maybe you...
Maybe I'm what?
Unfit to work on people's precious little teeth?
Why are you keeping your hand...
Because it's not my hand. It's not a hand at all!
Not since bill bit me!
Jesus! This is it!
Hey! Hey, look!
It's still here. I don't believe it.
It's all still here. It's all right.
What the hell are you doin'? They had the atomic bomb!
I thought the world was gonna end. Man, I'm seein' this twice!
Guys, let's go. No tripping. Nurse, this guy fainted.
You're right. Everybody, let's go. Out that door.
Harvey, watch out!
Stay back, stay back!
Sherry? Sherry? Stan!
Oh, thank God you got here. I was so scared!
You were wonderful! I was?
Dennis? Dennis?
He was down here! Dennis? Dennis?
Mom!
Help.
Dennis! Ohh!
Dennis, hold out your hand.
Give me your hand.
Come on. Give me your hand.
Okay. That's it. Come on.
Nice and slowly.
Come on. Come on. Reach for me.
Gene!
That's it.
Mom! Gene! Help me!
Gene, pull me up. Please!
Pull him up, okay? Ohh!
Pull me up!
It's burning.
No, it's not.
There's no fire in there. No, I turned it off.
Folks, we won't be having a second show today.
You're kidding! What?
We will be giving you a free pass to a future presentation.
My son's been waiting three weeks to see this movie!
You tell him he can't see this movie!
Hey, Woolsey!
This crowd is turning into a mob. Congratulations.
Let me ask you something. Excuse me.
Do you own that process? Yep. It's something I've been working on.
Some of it's stage lighting, some magic show stuff.
But the big studios, none of them have anything like it.
You know why? They're dinosaurs! No vision.
They were scared, weren't they? Terrified.
Might even want to tone it down a little. Sure.
Normally you can let the people leave the theater at their own pace.
Easier on the carpets, you know what I mean?
Also, I'm still concerned about that bomb thing.
Little question of taste? No, no. But your younger patrons,
you could have some seat wetness. This I see as a drawback.
Right. Hey. You know what wouldn't be bad?
Ghosts. They come through the screen, fly over the audience.
Ghosts that drip blood! Drip it on the audience.
That was my thought. I can see it all now. "Blood-o-scope," "bleed-o-Rama."
You wrecked my theater. I did not! He did.
Sherry!
It was great, Mr. Woolsey.
It's kinda hard to believe that you're a grown-up. No kidding.
You think grown-ups know what they're doing? That's a hustle, kid.
Grown-ups are making it up as they go along just like you do.
You remember that, you'll be fine.
That's beautiful, Mr. Woolsey. No trouble.
Nurse.
But he... Will you stop worrying? The insurance will cover it.
In fact, I'd leave the balcony out. I'd put two more screens up there.
The sound leaks, and people will hear two pictures for the price of one.
The wave of the future!
- I'll call you. - I'll call you too.
- Nice to meet you. - Yes, good-bye.
The announcement came in a communique...
From chairman Khrushchev to president Kennedy,
saying that the Soviets would dismantle the missiles on Cuba,
and return them to the Soviet union.
Quoting, "to give reassurance... Gene, Dennis!"
"To all people who crave peace, come in here!
"And to reassure the American people,
"all of whom, I am certain also want peace... It's over.
As do the people of the Soviet union."
The Pentagon said that the American naval quarantine of Cuba would be ended.
The ships would be returning to their home ports by the end of the week.
And so a sigh of relief around the world...
As two of the great powers pull back from the nuclear abyss.
Amazing! You won't believe the kind of ink we're getting.
Look. "Horror stunt saves patrons' lives." Where?
Oh, down there.
Well, we're up against this Cuba thing.
Anyway, Spector's getting us into 60 theaters. How do you like the car?
It's great.
Well, we're off to the opening. Cleveland.
Congratulations. Exactly.
Honey?
So, now, you two, was that your first date?
Ah... yeah.
Hard to top.
You guys'll do it, though.
Well...
Better be rolling.
Uh, keep your eyes open. I will.
Bye.
Keep your eyes open for what?
The scary parts.
Oh.
Nice kids.
That wouldn't be bad, have a couple kids.
We have to be married for that, Larry.
Yeah, I know.
Boy, you are the shock expert.
Think about it.
You see the look on those two? It's like their whole life got called off and then,
"no, wait a second, sorry," it's on again.
That's how everybody looks now. People are walkin' around,
They made it. Safe. Uh-huh. How long do you give that?
Couple weeks, couple years, then bang,
somebody else comes along with another way for the world to end.
Only this time they mean it.
At least those two got a jump on it. Huh?
They've seen the coming attractions.
* in the jungle the mighty jungle *
* the lion sleeps tonight *
* in the jungle the quiet jungle *
* the lion sleeps tonight hup, hup *
* owimoweh, owimoweh owimoweh, owimoweh *
* owimoweh, owimoweh owimoweh, owimoweh **
Oh, bill!