从YTS下载。MX Downloaded from YTS.MX
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黛安：嘿，马拉。我的清洁服务坏了， Diane: Hey, Marla. My cleaning service flaked,
所以我去不了了。 so I can't make it.
是啊，这真是一场大秀。 Yeah, it's been a big ol' shit show.
我让人去那些不干净的单位报到， I had people checking in to units that weren't clean,
现在我在这里拿着吸尘器 and now I'm here with a vacuum.
不。不。你留下来。我很好。你知道，我有我的音乐。 No. No. You stay. I'm fine. You know, I got my music.
这是一种放松。好了,现在。再见。 It's -- It's kind of relaxing. Okay, now. Bye-bye.
嗨。我能帮你吗？ Hi. Can I help you?
女人:是的。我的车出了点小问题。 Woman: Yes. I'm having a little bit of car trouble.
这些陡峭的山路。 These steep mountain roads.
他们把我困住了。 They got me stuck.
我能借用一下你的电话吗？ Can I borrow your phone?
黛安：我的电话？你没有手机吗？ Diane: My phone? Don't you have a cellphone?
它——它死了。 It -- It died.
我想我今天不太走运。 Guess this just ain't my day.
哦。这是我儿子。 Oh. This here is my son.
黛安:等待。你怎么，不，你不能 Diane: Wait. What are you -- No, you can't --
不!你在——你不能进来！ No! What are you -- You can't come in here!
吉本斯：黛安·汉比。她是第一个死的。 Gibbons: Diane Hamby. She's the first one to die.
这个人做到了。 This guy did it.
这太操蛋了。 That is fucked up.
是啊，这只是一团糟的开始。 Yeah, that's just the beginning of the fucked up.
那根木头和那根相符 That log matches the one
杀死了车里的那对夫妇。 that killed the couple in the car.
我认为他把它当作武器。 I think he used it as a weapon.
但报警电话里说，日志 But in the 911 call, it said that the log
它自己在飞。 was flying by itself.
哈!如果我看到飞行日志我会通知你的，上士。 Ha! I'll let you know if I see a flying log, Chief.
是的。我刚开始看。 Yeah. I just started watching it.
是的。这里有一个。 Yeah. There's one there.
好吧。你在把它数字化，对吧？ Alright. You're digitizing this, right?
还没有。我没有合适的电缆。 Not yet. I don't have the right cables.
那你最好赶紧去百思买， Well, you better get your ass over to Best Buy, then,
因为你今晚要把它数字化。 cause you're digitizing this tonight.
拜托，上士。我有一些琐事。 Oh, come on, Chief. I got trivia.
联邦调查局明早会来 The FBI will be here in the morning,
我只知道他们会接手这个案子 and I just know they're gonna take over this case,
我想要我自己的一份 and I want my own copy.
你明白吗?是的,长官。 You understand? Yes, Chief.
好吧。 Alright.
对了，车里的那对夫妇。 Oh, by the way, uh, the couple in the car.
那个女孩。是的。她还活着。 The girl. Yeah. She's still alive.
怎么啦？是的。 What? Yeah.
她的脸看起来像骨辣椒。 Her face looked like bone chili.
那是她男朋友的头骨碎片。 Oh, well, that was her boyfriend's skull matter.
结果她掉在方向盘下面了， Turns out that she fell underneath the steering wheel,
这保护了她，所以… and that protected her, so...
我不确定在那之后我还想不想活着。 Not sure I'd want to be alive after that.
<我>等。等一等。 <我>好吧。我准备好了。 Wait. Hold on. Okay. I'm ready.
<我>是的! Yes!
看起来像这个城市女孩 Looks like this city girl
终于学会了 如何扔套索。 finally learned how to throw a lasso.
就在旁边 到这个舒适的圣诞日志 Right next to this cozy yule log.
只有一个问题 There's just one problem.
<我>槲寄生。关闭。 Mistletoe. Turn it off.
哦，我不 考虑这个问题 Oh, I don't consider that a problem.
关掉它！关掉它！ Turn it off! Turn it off!
你应该给那些电影一个机会。 You know, you should give those movies a chance.
它们很俗气，但会让你感觉很好。 They're cheesy, but they make you feel good.
亚历克斯在哪里？ Where is Alex?
我去请医生。 Let me get the doctor.
他还活着吗？ Is he still alive?
我去请医生。 I'll get the doctor.
亚历克斯?亚历克斯? ! Alex? Alex?!
贝丝：谢谢你让我们住在这里 Beth: Thanks for letting us stay.
<我>——哦。没有问题。 -你不必感谢他们。 - Oh. No problem. - You don't have to thank them.
我们也在为此付出代价 We're paying for it, too.
我们不应该 必须支付任何 We shouldn't have to pay anything
因为主机 搞砸了，对吧？ 'cause the host fucked up, right?
我们会弄清楚的 在早上 We're gonna figure it out in the morning.
本：那么还有 禁止进入的地方吗？ Ben: So is there any room off limits?
是的，事实上，我们的房间里有我们的行李，所以它是 Yeah, actually, our room has our luggage in it, so it's...
本：这个房间有热水浴缸 Ben: This one has the hot tub.
霍莉：说到这个… Holly: Speaking of which...
我们去泡热水澡吧！ let's hot tub!
吉本斯：哦，当然了。现在我们来谈谈。 Gibbons: Oh, hell yeah. Now we're talking.
<我>好吧。哇! Okay. Whoo!
贝丝：对不起。 你不来了？ Beth: Excuse me. You're not gonna come?
门开着！ The door's open!
快进来！贝思:<我>。 Just come in! Beth: Okay.
本：你不知道 里面有什么。 Ben: You don't know what's been in there.
我要… I'm gonna take a...
稍等一下。 Just hang on.
荷莉：你俩想洗热水澡吗？ Holly: Do you two want to hot tub?
吉本斯：我来了！别着急！ Gibbons: I'm coming! Hold your horses!
亚历克斯：嗯，为什么不呢？ Alex: Uh, why not?
喂? Hello?
喂? ! Hello?!
那是什么鬼东西？ What the fuck is that?
谁在那里? ! Who's there?!
出来!我有枪！ Come out! I have a gun!
不!不!他妈的。 No! No! Fuck that.
什么…… What the...
他妈的! Fuck!
好的呆呆的。不。我喜欢树。我从不砍树。 Nice loggy. No. I love trees. I never cut trees.
我甚至不用他妈的纸。 I don't even use fucking paper.
的帮助!的帮助! Help! Help!
嗯……操。 Uh...fuck.
嘿,嘿。哇。这是芬太尼。是的。 Hey, hey. Whoa. Here's some fentanyl. Yeah.
假期压力太大了，你个混蛋！ Holidays are stressful, you fucker!
哦,是的。哦,是的。现在我们来谈谈。 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Now we're talkin'.
哦。他妈的是的。我明白了。 Ooh. Fuck yeah. I see that.
哦,狗屎! Ooh, shit!
是的。好吧。嗯哼。 Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm.
是的，哈哈！ Yeah ha ha!
是的,宝贝! Yeah, baby!
嘿!嘿，洛吉先生！你知道这是什么吗？ Hey! Hey, Mr. Loggy! You know what this is?
哈!这是电锯。 Ha! It's a chainsaw.
Whoo-hoo !哦,是的。你最好躲起来！ Whoo-hoo! Oh, yeah. You better hide!
因为我要抽你的木头屁股！ 'Cause I'm gonna whip your wooden ass!
不!不! No! No!
不。不，你他妈在干什么，你个笨蛋！ No. No What are you fucking doing, you stupid log?!
不!你笨蛋!不! No! You fucker! No!
我叫她待在家里 I told her to stay home
至少要等到假期结束。 at least until after the holidays.
但她很固执。 But she was stubborn.
那把斧头是怎么回事？ And what's with the axe?
哦。她来了。 Oh. Here she comes.
谢谢大家。回来真是太好了。 Thank you, everybody. It's really good to be back.
我只是想投入工作。 I just want to get in the work.
我想全身心投入到工作中去。 Want to get really lost in the work.
只要大家都知道就行 Just as long as everyone knows
不是我在抽鞭子。 it's not me cracking the whip.
我不介意 捐赠一百万， I don't mind donating a million,
但我介意 捐赠一百万 but I do mind donating a million
去游说政府 然后什么都没有发生 to lobby the government and then nothing happens.
显然，世界各国政府行动迟缓， Obviously, world governments have been slow,
但私营实体可以采取一些措施， but there are steps that private entities can take,
比如在苗圃里种植珊瑚 like growing coral in nurseries
然后我们将它们重新引入野外。 that we then reintroduce into the wild.
<我>啊。所以丰富多彩。 Ahh. So colorful.
珊瑚真是太美了，不是吗？ Coral is just beautiful, isn't it?
我想我们成交了 I think we have a deal.
稍等。 我去拿支票簿。 Hold on a sec. I'll get my checkbook.
我的天啊！当心! Oh, my God! Look out!
它会杀了我们所有人！它会杀了我们所有人！ It's gonna murder us all! It's gonna murder us all!
不! No!
-这是怎么回事？会害死我们所有人的。 - What's going on here? - Zoe: It's gonna murder us all.
我觉得这是连接的问题。 I think it's an issue with the connection.
我们马上给你回电话。<我>没说完, We'll call you right back. What's happ--
我的天啊。你们为什么不躲起来？！ Oh, my God. Why aren't you guys hiding?!
男：她刚刚在捐赠者面前吓坏了。 Man: She just freaked out right in front of a donor.
哦,等等。她来了。 Oh, wait. Here she comes.
你说结案是什么意思！ What do you mean the case is closed?!
凶手对你和你的未婚夫使用了log The killer used a log on you and your fiancé.
然后他回到小屋 并死于火灾 Then he went back to the cabin and died in the fire.
根本不是这样的！ That's not at all what happened!
木头飞了，好吗？！都录下来了！ The log flew, okay?! It's all on tape!
磁带已 销毁，不幸的是。 The tape has been destroyed, unfortunately.
是啊，因为你他妈想把它掩盖起来。 Yeah, 'cause you're trying to fucking cover it up.
那外星人呢，外星人的身体 What about the alien -- the alien body
还有那个巨大的UFO?！ and -- and the giant UFO?!
我们什么都没找到， FBI也没找到。 We didn't find anything, and neither did the FBI.
好吧。霍莉呢？我想她活下来了。 Okay. What about Holly? I-I think she survived.
她肯定看到了什么！ She saw something, for sure!
我建议你去寻求帮助。 I suggest you get help.
这就是我想要的！ That's what I'm trying to get!
喂? Hello?
什么…… What the...
是谁？ Who is it?
你可以看到是我。 You can see it's me.
你一个人吗？ Are you alone?
别戳我的痛处。 Don't rub it in.
他妈的。 Fuck them.
你是寇儿这辈子遇到的最好的事。 You're the best thing that ever happened to Coral.
不要太多。我在吃止痛药。 Not too much. I'm on painkillers.
我只是不知道我要怎么度过假期。 I just don't know how I'm gonna survive the holidays.
这并不容易。 It's not easy.
圣诞原木想杀了我。 That Yule Log wants to kill me.
它会有办法的！ It's gonna find a way!
我只是觉得我被困在了一部恐怖电影里 I just feel like I'm trapped in a horror movie
我逃不掉 that I can't get out of.
佐伊，你曾经演过恐怖电影， Zoe, you have been in a horror movie,
所以你需要重置。 which is why you need a reset.
去看一部新电影。 Move to a new movie.
一些温暖而毛茸茸的东西。就像一部Hallmark电影。 Something warm and fuzzy. Like a Hallmark movie.
不。没有标志。太有圣诞节气氛的。 No. No Hallmark. Too Christmasy.
好吧,好吧。……这如何? Okay, okay. How about...this?
墨西哥! Mexico!
只有阳光，沙滩和性感的泳池男孩。 Just sun and beach and sexy pool boys.
没有壁炉! No fireplaces!
只是个免费酒吧。 Just an open bar.
我可以带我的斧头来吗？ I can bring my axe?
啊哈…… Uh-huh...
多少钱？ How much is it?
我点击“购买”。不! I'm hitting "buy." No!
我点击“购买”，啊！不!等等!不! I'm hitting "buy," Aah! No! Wait! No!
呐喊!太迟了。这是完成了。 Whoop! Too late. It's done.
我看到一棵树。 I see a tree.
那是一棵棕榈树。我要揍你。 That's a palm tree. And I'm gonna bop you.
噢!他们有三个无边泳池。 Ooh! They have three infinity pools.
♬dj，放下节拍 ♪ Deejay, drop the beat ♪
♬哟，让我们开始这个派对吧 Both: ♪ Yo, let's get this party started ♪
♬这里不适合懦弱的人 ♪ This right here ain't for the weak-hearted ♪
♬房子着火了，节奏快了 ♪ The house on fire, the beat on point ♪
♬让我们把屋顶掀起来，炸掉这个地方 ♪ Let's raise the roof up, blow this joint ♪
-♬派对-♬一直持续下去 - ♪ Party ♪ - ♪ It goes on and on ♪
♬直到天明 ♪ Till the break of dawn ♪
♬来吧，来吧，派对 ♪ Come on, come on, party ♪
♬dj，放下节拍 ♪ Deejay, drop the beat ♪
哇哇哇。看。是不是很可爱？“槲寄生。” Aww. Look. Isn't that cute? "Mistletoe."
恶心。 Gross.
看到了吗? !我们就是这样死的！ See?! This -- This is how we die!
不,不。佐伊，朋友，好吧…… No, no. Zoe, friend, okay...
我们正在翻动剧本。我们展现。 We're flipping the script. We're manifesting.
拖车司机会 The tow-truck driver is gonna be
一个300磅的神经病拿着电锯！ a 300-pound psycho with a chainsaw!
或者他会成为你的零食， Or maybe he'll be a total snack,
最近丧偶，正在恢复，对吧？ recently widowed and on the rebound, hm?
如果他戴着滑雪面罩，我就跑。 If he's wearing a ski mask, I am running.
你能不能至少把斧子放下 Well, could you at least put down the axe
否则他会认为我们是精神杀手？ or else he'll think we're the psycho killers?
哦! Oh!
有人叫拖车吗？ Someone call a tow truck?
告诉你。 Told ya.
来吧，伙计们！我们走，我们走！ Come on, gang! Let's go, let's go!
谁拿了充电线？麦迪逊! Who's got the charging cables? Madison!
好吧。所以…你想听好消息还是坏消息？ Okay. So...do you want the good news or the bad news?
你推荐什么都行。我是说，你是… Whatever you recommend. I mean, you're the...
佐伊:技工。 Zoe: Mechanic.
…的机械师。 ...mechanic.
你的散热器坏了。 Your radiator's shot.
现在，它可以修复，但它不会便宜。 Now, it can be fixed, but it's not going to be cheap.
好吧。那么好消息是什么呢？ Okay. So what's the good news?
是是好消息。 That was the good news.
坏消息是山体滑坡堵塞了道路。 The bad news is the landslide blocked the road.
你们这几天都出不去了。 You guys aren't getting out of here for a few days.
不，不，不，不。这没用的。 No, no, no, no, no, no. T-That's not gonna work.
那要等到圣诞节之后！ That's not until after Christmas!
女婴。会没事的。 Baby girl. It will be fine.
这个地方真可爱！ This place is lovely!
我们会有个很棒的房间，一流的。 We'll get an awesome room -- top of the line.
是啊，这可能有点难。 Yeah, that might be kind of hard.
每年这个时候酒店都订满了。 Hotels get pretty booked up this time of year.
为了节日。 For the festival.
节日吗? Festival?
是的。这是一年一度的圣诞原木节。 Yeah. It's the annual Yule Log Festival.
一年一度的……圣诞原木节？ The annual... Yule log Festival?
但你的小镇叫槲寄生！ But your town's called Mistletoe!
我们以前有一个槲寄生节。 Well, we used to have a mistletoe festival.
我猜人们认为这是强奸。 Uh, I guess people thought it was rapey.
哦。我们还在演恐怖电影。 Oh. We are still in a horror movie.
好吧?我们的车在一个诡异的小镇抛锚了， Okay? Our car breaks down in a creepy little town,
他们有圣诞原木节？ and they have a Yule Log Festival?
这种事在贺曼公司的电影里经常发生。 This type of thing happens all the time in Hallmark movies.
一场奇怪的事故迫使性感的城市人，也就是我们 A wacky mishap forces sexy city people -- that's us --
暂时住在一个可爱的小镇上 to temporarily live in an adorable small town
在那里我们遇见可爱的辣妹。 where we meet-cute with total hotties.
怎么啦？ What?
它会发生。查一下吧！ It happens. Look it up!
所以我睡在那边的沙发上。 So, I sleep on that pull-out couch over there.
欢迎大家分享。 Y'all are welcome to share.
你真是太好了。不不不不不不。 That's very kind of you. No, no, no, no, no.
我们要进城去 We are going into town
我们打算租一架直升机什么的。 and we are going to rent a helicopter or something.
呃，我不知道。 Uh, I don't know about that.
但也有一些可爱的古董店。 But there are some cute antique stores.
Y-Yeah。 Y-Yeah.
你去报告。 You go and report back.
我和坦纳待在这里 And I'll stay here with Tanner
看看我们能不能…引擎发出呼噜声。 and see if we can't get our...engine purring.
嗯? Hm?
爱你。Bye-ee ! Love you. Bye-ee!
哇! Whoa!
哇!你为什么不看路呢？ Whoa! Why don't you look where you're going?
是你拿着自拍杆走来走去的。 You were the one walking around with the selfie stick.
这是我的工作。我有数百万的粉丝。 It's my job. I have millions of followers.
你可能认得我。 You probably recognize me.
我不喜欢。 I don't.
我包瑞德将军。我的频道是BeauRevolution。 I'm Beauregard. My channel is BeauRevolution.
我在影响力奖上被选为十大品牌之一。 I was voted in the top ten brands at the Influencer Awards.
三次。哈。 Thrice. Heh.
怎么了，我的美女革命家们？！ What's up, my BeauRevolutionaries?!
我刚和一个乡巴佬见了面。 I just met-cute with one of the local yokels.
我不是土包子！ I'm not a local yokel!
拿着那把斧头，我还以为你是个伐木工呢。 Hm, with that axe, I assumed you were a lumberjack.
哦，哦，嘿！你得到了很多赞！ Oh, oh, hey! You're getting a lot of likes!
我想粉丝们想让我请你吃晚饭。 Think the fans want me to ask you to dinner.
我不感兴趣。 I'm not interested.
在这里。让我们交换一下联系方式。 Here. Let's exchange contact info.
佐伊!这是完美的。你是怎么—— Zoe! This is perfect. How did you --
我从头到尾都在写《博加德的爱情生活》 I do "Beauregard's Love Life A to Z."
你可以是我的Z。 And you can be my Z.
等待。今晚8点，好吗？ Wait. Tonight at 8, okay?
我会用短信告诉你详情的。别担心。 I'll text you the deets. And don't worry.
我请客。因为我有钱。 It's my treat. Because I'm rich.
等待。包瑞德将军。 Wait. Uh, Beauregard.
嗨。嗯…你有直升机吗？ Hi. Um... Do you have a helicopter?
我当然知道。 You bet I do.
这是干洗店的钱。 Here's money for the dry cleaners.
等待。这是1000美元! Wait. That's $1,000!
这还不够吗？ Is that not enough?
我不知道普通的东西要多少钱。 I have no idea how much regular things cost.
今晚见。 I'll see you tonight.
哦，我的——哦。我的天啊。 Oh, my -- Oh. My goodness.
我很抱歉。 I am so sorry.
我从我的小母牛身上取下干草， I was loading these bails of hay from my heifers,
我想我只是没事的 and I guess I just -- It's okay.
哦。我的礼仪。我是戴尔。 Oh. My manners. I-I'm Dale.
至少让我给你倒杯鲜牛奶。 Let me at least get you a glass of fresh milk.
不。真的。没关系。谢谢你！ No. Really. It's okay. Thank you.
阿凯。 O...kay.
哦，我的天哪！你还好吗？ Oh, my goodness! Are you okay?
我感觉有点疼。 I am getting a little sore.
我只是拿着这个消防水管， I was just toting around this here fire hose,
我没有注意我要去的地方。 and I wasn't watching where I was going.
哦。我的礼貌哪儿去了？ Ohh. Where are my manners?
我是火焰。 I'm Blaze.
大火吗? Blaze?
我知道。有点讽刺。 I know. Kind of ironic.
大火。消防队员。 Blaze. Fireman.
他们喜欢拿这事取笑我。 The guys like to razz me about it.
你是……？ And you are...?
赶时间。再见。 In a hurry. Goodbye.
哦!我很抱歉！ Oh! I'm so sorry!
我只是把这些工具带到建筑工地， I was just taking these tools to the construction site,
我必须——救命！的帮助! and I must have -- Help! Help!
很抱歉打扰你。但你好像是新来的。 I'm sorry to grab you. But you seem new here.
我们镇以笨拙的大块头而闻名。 Our town is known for its clumsy hunks.
谢谢你。 Um, thank you.
Birt。Birt的名片。 Birt. Birt Card.
佐伊。我想我以前从没见过伯特。 Zoe. I don't think I've ever met a Birt before.
生日的缩写。生日贺卡。 Short for Birthday. Birthday card.
哦……我妈妈很有幽默感。 Ohh... My mom has a sense of humor.
顺便说一下，那就是她。 That's her, by the way.
很高兴见到你，卡德太太。 Oh, uh, nice to meet you, Mrs. Card.
叫我奶奶。 Call me Nana.
那是我儿子，杰克森。 And that's my son, Jaxon.
我做超级英雄的装饰品！ I make the superhero ornaments!
欢迎光临我们简陋的圣诞小饰品店。 Welcome to our humble little Christmas ornament store.
圣诞饰品店。一年四季都是这样吗？ Christmas ornament store. This is all year round?
你晚饭吃过煎饼吗？ Have you ever had pancakes for supper?!
嗯,是的。是的。 Uh, yeah. Yes.
妈妈总是说你应该好好享受 Mom always said you should be able to enjoy
你喜欢的东西随时都可以。 the things you like anytime you want.
听起来她是个很聪明的女人。 She sounds like a very smart woman.
呃，她在哪儿？ Uh, where is she?
天堂。 Heaven.
哦!我，我很抱歉。 Oh! I am -- I am so sorry.
萨凡纳两年前离开了我们。 Savannah left us two years ago.
我，我未婚夫，他几个月前去世了。 My, uh -- My fiancé, he passed a couple months ago.
我们加入了没人想加入的俱乐部。 We are in the club no one wants to be in.
我很抱歉。 I-I'm so sorry.
至少萨凡纳给你留下了这家店作为遗产。 At least Savannah left you this store as a legacy.
嗯。恐怕不会太久了。 Hmm. Not for long, I'm afraid.
一家大型圣诞装饰品商店 A big corporate Christmas ornament store
市中心刚开张。 just opened up downtown.
他们抢走了我们所有的顾客。 They're taking all our customers.
我一直说你应该做个广告牌！ I keep saying you should do a billboard!
做广告!把我放在我能出名的地方！ Advertise! And put me on it where I can be famous!
娜娜想出名。 Nana wants to be famous.
嗯!好了。 Hmm! Great.
好吧，我想已经没有危险了。 Well, uh, I think that the coast is clear.
那么，嗯，再见。 So, um, goodbye.
哦! Ohh!
我们的冬季系列！ Our winter collection!
哦，天哪！我很抱歉！ Oh, my gosh! I am so sorry!
哦!等待。 Oh! Wait.
我有现金。 I have cash.
哦，不，不，不，不。你的钱在这里没用。 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Your money's no good here.
这不仅仅是钱的问题。 It's not just about the money.
我们的客户订购了这些！ Our customers ordered those!
我还以为那些身材魁梧的人都很笨拙。 And I thought the hunks were clumsy.
这些从大城市来的女人更糟！ These women from the big city are worse!
看。我想我修好了。 Look. I think that I fixed it.
该死的。 Damn it.
我可以吗? May I?
请。 Please.
你做得很好。 You're doing great.
谢谢。 Thanks.
只是，呃… It's just that, uh...
…在大城市里，你到处都是匆匆忙忙的。 ...in the big city, you all rush everywhere.
在这个小镇上，我们慢慢来。 Here in a small town, we take our time.
比如给胶水凝固的时间。 Like giving the glue time to set.
嗯。 Hm.
温柔一点。 And be gentle.
温柔得像在修补一颗破碎的心。 As gentle as if you are mending a broken heart.
你在槲寄生不会单身太久的。 You won't stay single long in Mistletoe.
怎么啦？不。我—— What? No. I --
我根本不打算在槲寄生待太久。 I don't plan to stay long in Mistletoe at all.
哦,废话。我，我得走了。 Oh, crap. I, um -- I gotta go.
这地方真不错。 This place is really nice.
我拥有它。 I own it.
这就是所谓的破坏。因为我是个破坏者。 It's called Disruptions. 'Cause I'm a disrupter.
你说过你有个 So, um, you had said that you have a --
你好，我的美丽革命者们！ Hello, my BeauRevolutionaries!
我们现在在我的餐厅，扰乱， We're here at my restaurant, Disruptions,
和我美丽的约会对象，佐伊！ with my beautiful date, Zoe!
佐伊，你听说过牛油果吐司吗？ Zoe, have you heard of avocado toast?
你能别这样吗？ Could you please not?
那你一定会爱上鳄梨水果蛋糕的！ Then you are gonna love avocado fruitcake!
签署。哦! Signing out. Ohh!
喂养吸引人的内容是令人筋疲力尽的。 Feeding the engaging-content beast is exhausting.
跟我说说佐伊吧。佐伊的动机是什么？ So tell me about Zoe. What makes Zoe tick?
我真的需要你的直升机 I just really need your helicopter
今天就离开这个小镇。 to get out of this town today.
你是不是有创伤后应激障碍的闪回 Are you having a PTSD flashback
因为你未婚妻的事吗？ because of what happened to your fiancé?
你怎么知道的？ How do you know about that?
我的团队调查了我约会的每一个人。 My team researches everyone I date.
但是不要害怕。 But have no fear.
看到那边那个人了吗？ You see that guy over there?
保镖。 Bodyguard.
只要你和我在一起，什么都伤害不了你。 Nothing can harm you when you're with me.
所以,嗯…关于那架直升机。 So, um... about that helicopter.
哦,是的。这里的。 Oh, yeah. It's here.
啊。今晚它会载上一些人。 Ah. It is picking up some people tonight.
我可以上车吗？ Can I get on it?
佐伊，这么快？ Zoe, so soon?
如果你需要地方住，我有套房。 If you need a place to stay, I have a suite.
我真的得走了。请。 I just really need to leave. Please.
好吧。 Okay.
今晚9点半整起飞。 It leaves tonight at 9:30 sharp.
我让我的车送你去。 I'll have my car take you.
真的吗? !哦，谢谢你！谢谢你！ Really?! Oh, thank you! Thank you!
但是，首先，鳄梨水果蛋糕！ But, first, avocado fruitcake!
Hoh-hoh ! Hoh-hoh!
它是破坏性的和美味的！ It is disruptive and delicious!
是的，我赞助了今年的圣诞原木节。 Yeah, I'm sponsoring the Yule Log Festival this year.
我在网罗网红 I'm flying in influencers
从全国各地来帮助推广它。 from all over the country to help promote it.
这就是我的直升机在做的，抓有影响力的人。 That's what my chopper's doing, picking up influencers.
哦! Oh!
哦，我的天啊。我很抱歉。 Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
我带着这些礼物去孤儿院了。 I-I was taking these presents to the orphanage.
嘿!她和我在一起！战胜它! Hey! She's with me! Beat it!
没想到会看到天使。 Didn't expect to see an angel.
顺便说一下，我叫肖恩。 My name's Sean, by the way.
好吧，好吧，好吧！没有人在乎! Alright, alright, alright! Nobody cares!
滚出去！我们走吧!滚出去！ Get out of here! Let's go! Get outta here!
肖恩：哦，不。孩子们。 Sean: Oh, no. The children.
我该去找直升机了。 I should probably get to that chopper.
来吧。我们还有几分钟。 Come on. We got a couple more minutes.
我想给你看看我最新的颠覆性生意。 I want to show you my latest disruptive business.
做好准备!哦! Get ready! Ohh!
Morenaments !Hoh-hoh ! Morenaments! Hoh-hoh!
我要彻底颠覆圣诞装饰品行业 I am completely disrupting the Christmas ornament industry
因为装饰品可以做得更多。 because ornaments can be so much more.
所以是你让伯特的店倒闭了。 So you're the one putting Birt's store out of business.
我是一个破坏者！看。 I'm a disrupter! Look.
我有会说话的饰品，3d打印的饰品， I have talking ornaments, 3D-printed ornaments,
人工智能饰品 ornaments with A.I.
哦!在这里。看看这个。 Oh! Here. Check this one out.
男：他们在时间赛跑 1776年与英国人作战！ Man: They're racing through time to fight the British in 1776!
<i bb0《速度与激情17》。 现在在影院。 "17 Fast 17 Furious." Now in theaters.
电影制片厂付钱让我做广告。 The movie studios pay me to advertise.
然后我卖一个装饰品。双倍的钱！ Then I sell an ornament. Double the money!
博雷加德先生，该带佐伊小姐上直升机了。 Mr. Beauregard, it's time to get Miss Zoe to the helicopter.
我们只是在玩！ We were just having fun!
你确定要去吗？ Are you sure you want to go?
我肯定。谢谢你做的一切。 I'm sure. Thanks for everything.
这是一份礼物。 That's a gift.
直到我们再次相遇。 For until we meet again.
<我>《妈妈咪呀!》 我们又来了！ Mamma mia! Here we go yet again!
《妈妈咪呀7》 正把它的爱给你。 "Mamma Mia 7" is laying its love on you.
现在在电影院！ In theaters now!
我通常不喜欢续集， I don't normally like sequels,
但是这个很不错。 but this one's pretty good.
我们能再停一站吗？ Can we make one more stop?
罗杰：是的，女士。 Roger: Yes, ma'am.
把她弄出去！ Get her out of here!
Jakester !我找到了一架直升机！ Jakester! I got us a chopper!
我们离开这里吧！ Let's get out of here!
哦。嗯…对不起。 Oh. Uh...sorry.
我希望你会喜欢我们的小镇。 I was hoping you'd be charmed by our little town.
如果我想留下来，我是个坏朋友吗？ Am I a bad friend if I want to stay?
你可以留下来。我要离开这里。 You can stay. I'm getting out of here.
哦!哦。抱歉。 Ohh! Oh. So sorry.
我只是在给这些油罐加油。 I was just refilling these gas cans.
我希望我没有引起火花。 I hope I didn't cause any sparks.
佐伊:等等!不!我来了!等等! Zoe: Wait! No! I'm coming! Wait!
嘿!我来了!等等我！ Hey! I'm coming! Wait for me!
嘿!嘿!在这里! Hey! Hey! Down here!
他妈的! Fuck!
嘿。我们只是在看圣诞彩灯。 Hey. We were just looking at Christmas lights.
哦,不。佐伊…… Oh, no. Zoe...
会没事的。会没事的。 It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.
佐伊：谢谢你让我住在这里。 Zoe: Thank you for letting me stay here.
伯特：别在意。 Birt: Think nothing of it.
哦。我很抱歉。 Oh. I'm so sorry.
让我把它移开。 Let me move that.
我感到很内疚。 I feel so guilty.
我觉得我给你添麻烦了 I feel like I'm putting you out or --
不。不,不。 No. No, no.
我妻子会很高兴你来的。 My wife would love that you're here.
你不会吗，亲爱的？ Wouldn't you, honey?
我开玩笑的。 I'm -- I'm teasing.
我不会对着我妻子的骨灰说话。 I-I don't actually speak to my wife's ashes.
佐伊：我和亚历克斯说话了。 Zoe: I speak to Alex.
我也跟萨凡纳谈过。 Oh, I totally talk to Savannah, too.
她怎么。我很抱歉问。我只是—— H-How did she -- I'm sorry to ask. I just --
不,不。有，呃 No, no. There was, uh --
一天晚上，她在慢跑，一辆装满木材的卡车 She was jogging one night, and a lumber truck full of logs
我急转弯，一根电缆断了。 made a sharp turn, and a-a cable snapped.
这太奇怪了。 That is so strange.
类似的事情也发生在我的未婚妻身上。 A similar thing happened to my fiancé.
他是被… He was killed by, um...
圣诞柴 a Yule log.
所以你才拿着斧子吗？ Is that why you carry the axe?
哦。如果有人问起，我就说我打赌输了。 Oh. If anyone asks, I tell them I lost a bet.
这似乎行得通。 It seems to work.
好了。 Nice.
我就是他。 Uh, this is him.
我正要去墨西哥撒骨灰， I was on my way to Mexico to scatter the ashes,
但我不确定这是不是他想要的 but I'm not sure if that's what he wants.
我也经历过。 I've been there.
我买了圣诞装饰品。 I bought the Christmas ornament.
我不知道萨凡纳想不想待在家里 I don't know if Savannah wants to be in the house
或者在海滩上什么的。 or at the beach or what.
一旦你撒了骨灰，就无法收回了。 And once you scatter the ashes, you can't un-scatter them.
嗯。 Hm.
我们要把它们放在一起吗？ S-Should we put them together?
哦。在架子上？ Oh. On the shelf?
嗯… Um...
他们可以聊天。 They can chat.
嗯,是的。好吧。 Um, yeah. Okay.
足够的空间。 Plenty of room.
哦,哎呀。嗯… Oh, gee. Uh...
毛巾在客用浴室里。 Towels are in the guest bath.
佐伊:毫米。 Zoe: Mm.
伯特：嗯，睡觉，睡个好觉。 Birt: Uh, sleep -- Sleep well.
杰克斯特：我很高兴你决定留下来 Jakester: I am so glad you decided to stay.
我说我被困住了。我很害怕。 I said I'm stranded. And I'm terrified.
有两个人跟在你后面？ And you have two men after you?
<我>哦。完美的假日消遣方式 Oh. The perfect holiday distraction.
我说我很害怕。 I said I'm terrified.
我是选博雷加德队还是伯特队？ Am I gonna be Team Beauregard or Team Birt?
我必须承认。 我讨厌这两个名字。 I have to admit. I hate both of those names.
你知道吗，我觉得我们在 You know, I feel like we're having
两个不同的对话。 two different conversations.
我正在用的 更有趣 The one I'm having is more fun.
所以一个人很甜 而一个人很富有？ So one's sweet and one's rich?
我不会这么直白地说。 I wouldn't put it that bluntly.
对了，我还没告诉你。 Oh, and I didn't tell you.
博雷加德的饰品店就是其中之一 Beauregard's ornament store is the one
这会让伯特破产的 that's putting Birt's out of business.
你和他们一起睡觉吗？！ And you're sleeping with them?!
<我>啊!哇，好冷啊！ 你必须告诉伯特！ Ugh! Boo, that is cold! You've got to tell Birt!
我没有和任何人上床。 I'm not sleeping with anyone.
我在伯特的房子里睡觉。 I'm sleeping at Birt's house.
我和博刚吃过饭。 And Beau and I just had dinner.
哦，他现在是“博”了？ Oh, he's "Beau" now? Things are heating up.
我得走了。我们正在刷 所有“我讨厌的10件事 关于你”的电影。 I gotta go. We're binging all the "10 Things I Hate About You" movies.
等待。不止一个？ Wait. There's more than one?
< >我爱你。再见! <我> Love you. Bye!
恐怖的声音：你今晚会死的！ Creepy voice: You're gonna die tonight!
<我>没错! That's right!
拼图回来了 一套全新的陷阱！ Jigsaw is back with a whole new set of traps!
看《电锯惊魂19》。 Watch "Saw 19."
只在影院上映。 1月1日。 Only in theaters. January 1st.
伯特：香蕉煎饼。 Birt: Banana pancakes.
有更好的方式开始新的一天吗？ Is there a better way to start the day?
谢谢你！ Thank you.
早上,佐伊。你睡得怎么样？ Morning, Zoe. How'd you sleep?
嗯，它看起来像什么？ Um, what does it look like?
她整晚辗转反侧，尖叫着。 She was tossing and turning all night long...screaming.
抱歉，让你睡不着了。 I-I'm sorry if I, um, kept you up.
哦。没关系。 Oh. That's okay.
奶奶，你和杰克森能去开店吗？ Nana, would you and Jaxon go open up the store?
我想和佐伊谈谈。 I want to talk to Zoe.
拜托，杰克森。 Come on, Jaxon.
我们有一些破损的装饰品要粘。 We have got some broken ornaments to glue.
好吧。这没有帮助。 Okay. That's not helpful.
所以… So...
你要把我赶出去还是…？ you kicking me out or...?
不，当然不是。 No, of course not.
但是，佐伊我真的不想越界，但是我… But, Zoe -- And I really don't mean to overstep, but I...
我想你可能有未治疗的创伤。 I think you may have some untreated trauma.
这不是创伤。这是诅咒。 It's not trauma. It's a curse.
N——确定。 N-- Sure.
萨凡纳死的时候，我以为我被诅咒了。 When Savannah died, I thought that I was cursed.
我喝得酩酊大醉。 I drowned myself in booze.
不。你没在听。没人听。 No. You're not listening. Nobody listens.
好吧。 Okay.
我要听。 I'll listen.
我把我的嘴闭上了。 I am locking my mouth shut.
你不会想听的。这太疯狂了。 You don't want to hear it. It's -- It's too crazy.
嗯…… Hm...
你在和一个叫“生日卡片”的人说话。 You're talking to someone whose name is Birthday Card.
我试一试。 Try me.
我的未婚夫，亚历克斯。 My fiancé, Alex.
他给我们租了这间小屋。 He had rented us this cabin.
,嗯… And, um...
我们不是这里唯一的客人。 we weren't the only guests at this location.
<我>亚历克斯:佐伊! Alex: Zoe!
总之，这说不通啊。 Anyway, it doesn't -- It doesn't make sense.
我理解。 I understand it.
有一堆圣诞礼物。 T-There's a log of the Yule variety.
它有某种诅咒。 It has some sort of curse.
它跟着你。它害死了你的未婚妻。 It followed you. It killed your fiancé.
它想杀了你。是的。 It tried to kill you. Yes.
更别提其他黑暗势力了。 Not to mention all the other dark forces.
火里的人等等。是的! The man in the fire and so forth. Yes!
但让我问你。 But let me ask you this.
如果…… What if...
日志 >在警察局爆炸了吗？ the log did blow up in that police station?
那么你的一生都在 Then you're spending your whole life
杞人忧天。 worrying for nothing.
如果没有爆炸呢？ And what if it didn't blow up?
如果它是冲着我来的呢？ What if it's coming for me?
我们都会死的。 We're all gonna die.
我们都在等着自己的圣诞原木来杀了我们。 We're all waiting for our own Yule Log to kill us.
但在那一天到来之前… But until that day comes...
难道你不想生活在霍尔马克的电影里吗 wouldn't you rather live in a Hallmark movie
比在恐怖电影里演得好吗？ than in a horror movie?
是的,很明显。 Yes, obviously.
我有个主意。 I got an idea.
萨凡纳死的时候，我们镇上没有创伤医生。 When Savannah died, we didn't have a trauma doctor in town.
我们仍然没有。但那是另一回事了。 And we still don't. But that's another story.
请坐。 Have a seat.
重点是，我自己做了调查。 The point is, I did my own research.
你可以在YouTube上学习任何东西。 You can learn anything on YouTube.
我创造了自己的治疗方法。 And I created my own treatment.
它救了我的命。 It saved my life.
我想在你身上试试。 I want to try it on you.
这是EMDR吗 Is this, like, um, EMDR
眼睛来回移动吗？ with the eyes moving back and forth?
这是其中的一部分。 That's part of it.
我知道这看起来很蠢，但试五分钟。 I know it looks dumb, but try it for five minutes.
掌心向上。 Palms up.
疼吗？ Does it hurt?
别打开。 Don't open that.
现在，我要你的眼睛跟着光走。 Now, I want you to follow the light with your eyes.
我知道这看起来很荒谬。 I know it seems ridiculous.
看起来绝对荒谬。 It seems absolutely ridiculous.
相信我，好吗？现在… Just trust me, okay? Now...
我要你思考 I want you to think
你现在最害怕的东西。 of what you're most scared of right now.
但是不要说出来。 But don't say it.
好吧。 Okay.
现在快说出来！一根会飞的圣诞柴！ Now blurt it out! A flying Yule Log!
打开卡片。 Open the card.
合上卡片。 And close the card.
佐伊，你做得很好。继续看着灯光。 Zoe, you're doing great. Keep looking at the light.
深呼吸。 Deep breaths.
你说过这不会有坏处的！ You said this wouldn't hurt!
你现在最害怕的是什么？ What are you most afraid of right now?
会飞的圣诞柴。一个外星人。邪教。 A flying Yule Log. An alien. A cult.
一棵挂着的树。火里的一个小人。 A hanging tree. A little man in the fire.
打开卡片！ Open the card!
我做不到！ I can't do this!
不，不，佐伊。这一切都很好。 No, no, Zoe. This is all good.
继续。 Keep going.
你现在在怕什么？ What are you afraid of right now?
我被诅咒了… That I have a curse...
人们会因为我而死。 and that people will die because of me.
打开它! Open it!
一个词。你在怕什么？日志。 One word. What are you afraid of? Log.
一个词。你在怕什么？日志! One word. What are you afraid of? Log!
看那些灯。我听不见你说什么。 Look at the lights. I can't hear you.
一个词。你在怕什么？ One word. What are you afraid of?
日志!一个日志!一个日志!去你的！一个日志! Log! A log! A log! God damn you! A log!
打开卡片！ Open the card!
佐伊，继续。你做得很好。 Zoe, keep going. You are doing great.
佐伊!佐伊。 Zoe! Zoe.
我很抱歉。我把你逼得太紧了。 I am so sorry. I pushed you too hard.
我不应该那样做的。你还好吗？ I shouldn't have done that. Are you okay?
哦，天哪！ Oh, my gosh!
神圣的狗屎! Holy shit!
哦，天哪！我感觉好极了！ Oh, my gosh! I feel great!
你会怎么做? You do?
是的!我的天啊。 Yes! Oh, my God.
这就是正常人每天的感觉吗？ Is this how normal people feel like every day?
嘿。打开卡片。 Hey. Open the card.
祝贺你。 Congratulations.
嗨！圣诞快乐! Hi! Merry Christmas!
你好!节日快乐! Hello! Happy holidays!
嗨！ Hi!
好!不要 >你有一个发光！ Well! Don't you have a glow!
你是不是做了个“嘣-chick -wow-wow ”的动作？ Did you do a little boom-chicka-wow-wow?
天啊。不是那样的，奶奶。 Gosh. It is not like that, Nana.
我知道那是什么感觉。 Oh, I know what it's like.
哦,不。这是黎明。 Oh, no. It's Dawn.
佐伊:你好。受欢迎的。 Zoe: Hello. Welcome.
你对什么样的装饰品感兴趣？ Uh, what kind of ornament can I interest you in?
哦，我所有的装饰品都是买的 Ohh, I bought all my ornaments
在那家新店，morenments。 at that new store, Morenaments.
嗯，他们太……更多。 Well, they're so much... more.
不，我是来谈房地产生意的。 No, I'm here on real-estate business.
我们不卖。 We are not selling.
我知道改变很难， Well, I know change can be hard,
但这家店可以让路 but this store could make way
人们真正想要的东西。 for something people actually want.
我不知道。大概有100种不同的橄榄油 I don't know. Like, 100 different olive oils
或者调味爆米花。 or flavored popcorn.
伯特，你的生意失败了。 Birt, your business is a failure.
道恩，你高中时就是个贱人 Dawn, you were a bitch in high school
你现在是个婊子了！ and you are a bitch now!
你只是嫉妒。她想出名。 You're just jealous. She wanted to be famous.
但电视和广告牌上都是我。 And yet I'm the one on TV and billboards.
房地产名气不算。 Real-estate famous doesn't count.
我知道你不能离开我！ I knew you couldn't leave me!
我错过了直升机。 I missed the chopper.
那是因为 你想要第二次约会。 That's because you want a second date.
我的美丽革命者们也同意。 My BeauRevolutionaries agree.
你的视频吸引了很多人。 Your video is getting a lot of engagement.
好吧，我们能待会再谈吗？ Okay, can we just talk later, please?
这是一个约会。 我把详细情况发短信给你 It's a date. I'll text you the deets.
我本想成为明星，但你睡着了 I was gonna be a star, but you slept
和戏剧老师在一起，得到了我在《油脂》中的角色！ with the drama teacher and got my role in "Grease"!
你真是个美容学校的辍学生。 You're such a beauty-school dropout.
至少见见买家吧。 At least meet the buyer.
是的!怎么了，美女革命者们？！ Yes! What's up, BeauRevolutionaries?!
我要… I'm gonna, uh...
我在我的竞争对手那里 I'm here at my competitor's
古色古香，衰败的饰品店。 quaint, failing ornament store.
但是我喜欢它！ But I like it!
我准备出个价。 I'm prepared to make an offer.
你们应该看看自己的脸！ You should see your faces!
来吧，伙计们。这是高质量、吸引人的内容！ Come on, guys. It's quality, engaging content!
我只是开个玩笑。 I'm just -- I'm just kidding.
这是我的real offer。 Here's my real offer.
伯特：我们会考虑的。 Birt: We'll think about it.
但这家店是我们家的一部分。 But this store is part of the family.
想想你的孙子吧。 Well, think of your grandson.
上大学要花钱。 College costs money.
仅仅因为你的梦想失败了， Just because your dreams flopped,
这并不意味着他也应该这么做。 that doesn't mean his should, too.
-让我来帮你！——哦!谢谢，小家伙！ - Let me help you out! - Oh! Thanks, little dude!
Jaxon。你不应该那样做。 Jaxon. You shouldn't have done that.
你上哪儿去了？ Where have you been?
我只是在找亮片。 Uh, uh, just looking for glitter.
我错过了什么？ What did I miss?
一个很有钱的混蛋 Some asshole with a lot of money
想买下这个地方。 wants to buy the place.
但如果我把房子卖了 But if I sell the place,
就像萨凡纳又一次死去。 it's like Savannah dies all over again.
哦!我找到了这个。这是虾软糖食谱？ Oh! I found this. It's a shrimp fudge recipe?
这不是很奇怪吗？ Isn't that weird?
给我。给我！ Give me that. Give me that!
Birt !Birt ! Birt! Birt!
Birt。我很抱歉。 Birt. I-I am so sorry.
我不应该窥探的。 I shouldn't have snooped.
我们度蜜月的时候， When we were on our honeymoon,
我们去了墨西哥。 we went to Mexico.
我们吃了美味的鼹鼠虾。 We had this amazing shrimp mole.
萨凡纳做了这个梦 And Savannah got this dream
发明了一种新型软糖。 of inventing a new type of fudge.
虾软糖。 Shrimp fudge.
就像我们在墨西哥吃的鼹鼠虾，不过是软糖。 Like the shrimp mole we had in Mexico, but in a fudge.
我们本打算在店里卖的。 We were gonna sell it in the store.
“萨凡纳的虾软糖。” "Savannah's Shrimp Fudge."
但后来她死了。 But then she died.
,嗯… And, uh...
我试着照抄她的食谱，但做起来总是不对。 I tried to copy her recipe, but it never came out right.
我失败了。 I failed.
我觉得这听起来像一个美妙的梦。 I think that sounds like a wonderful dream.
但我不确定虾和软糖能不能一起吃。 But I'm not sure if shrimp and fudge can go together.
哦，你不明白。 Oh, you don't understand.
她做到了。这是……很好吃。 She made it. It was...delicious.
就像我们在墨西哥吃的鼹鼠虾。 Like the shrimp mole we had in Mexico.
但在软糖里。 But in a fudge.
它——对。是的。 And it -- Right. Yeah.
连孩子们都喜欢。 Even the kids liked it.
他们从软糖中获取蛋白质。 They were getting protein with their fudge.
但我不能重新创造它。我就是不能。 But I can't re-create it. I just can't.
现在如果我把店卖了，就像… And now if I sell the store, it's like...
你帮了我很多。 You have helped me so much.
我只希望我能为你做点什么。 I just wish there was something I could do for you.
啊。倾听有帮助，佐伊。 Ah. Just listening helps, Zoe.
嘿。嗯… Hey. Um...
我们别再去商店了。 Let's not go back to the store.
我们逃学吧。 Let's play hooky.
你知道吗？怎么啦？ You know what? What?
我一直想从消防杆上滑下来。 I have always wanted to slide down a firefighters' pole.
噢!小城镇的好处。 Ooh! Benefits of a small town.
来吧! Come on!
佐伊:哟! Zoe: Whee!
啊! Ahh!
永远不会老！ Never gets old!
大火!谢谢你！ Blaze! Thank you!
没有问题。 No problem.
你也可以在上面跳脱衣舞。 You can do striptease on it, too.
哦。谢谢你，布雷兹。 Oh. Thank you, Blaze.
我的免疫系统就像棕熊一样。 I have the immune system of, like, a brown bear.
佐伊的未来是什么？ What's next in Zoe's future?
我不知道。 I don't know.
直到你为我所做的，我… Until what you did for me, I...
我甚至不认为我有未来。 I didn't even think I had a future.
哇哇哇。我什么都没做。 Aww. I didn't do anything.
都是你的功劳。 It was all you.
嗯。是的。 Hm. Yeah.
我相信你。 I believe you.
男:明白了! Man: Gotcha!
打开它！ Turn it on!
救命，霍莉，救救我！霍莉，帮帮我！ Help -- Holly, help me! Holly, help me!
-我警告过你！-霍莉，救命！ - I warned you! - Holly, help!
把他弄出去。 Get him out.
我们做到了。 We did it.
我很想跟你击掌，但我的手指烧焦了。 I'd high-five you, but my fingers are burnt.
我告诉过你要戴石棉手套。 I told you to wear asbestos gloves.
好吧。你待在这儿等水泥干了。 Okay. You stay here until the cement is dried.
别忘了说祝福。 And don't forget to say the blessing.
a：你呢？ A-And what about you?
我离开。 I'm leaving.
我欠佐伊的债已经还清了。 My debt to Zoe is paid.
你要去哪里？ Where you gonna go?
远离网络。也许亚洲。 Off the grid. Maybe Asia.
那么，我怎样才能找到你呢？ Well, how will I reach you?
你不能。 You can't.
霍莉!等等! Holly! Wait!
一个告别的拥抱？霍莉? A goodbye hug? Holly?
“我们祝福这片土地，并从承认开始 "We bless this land and begin by acknowledging
我们来到了萨科基部落的传统家园 that we are on the traditional homeland of the Sakogee tribe.
我们把这里定为邪恶的墓地。” We consecrate this site as a burial of evil."
什么——那是——妈妈！ What -- Is that -- Mom!
你不能这么做。你会被逮捕的。 You can't do that. You're gonna get arrested.
你哥哥是治安官。我不太担心。 Your brother's the sheriff. I'm not too worried.
至少杰克森没在这里看到这一切。 Well, at least Jaxon isn't here to see this.
我在这里!我注意了! I'm here! I'm lookout!
如果你看到任何人，你应该提醒我的！ And you were supposed to warn me if you saw anybody!
我不认为爸爸和佐伊算在内！ I didn't think Dad and Zoe counted!
好吧，我们回家吧。我做了苹果派。 Well, let's go home. I made apple pie.
那不是圣诞夜的晚餐吗？ Isn't that for Christmas Eve dinner?
我搞砸了，所以我得再做一个。 Well, I messed it up, so I gotta make another one.
娜娜的烂摊子比大多数人的都好。 Nana's mess-ups are better than most people's best.
看谁先到房子里去！ Race you to the house!
伯特：试着跟上。 Birt: Try and keep up.
娜娜:哇!哇! Nana: Whoo! Whoo!
你得让一个老太太赢！ You gotta let an old lady win!
哦!噢! Oh! Ow!
发生了什么事? What happened?
它只是一个碎片。我们吃派吧！ It's just a splinter. Let's eat pie!
伯特，你去拿冰淇淋好吗？ Birt, will you go get the ice cream?
噢，我去开门，奶奶。 Oh, I'll get it, Nana.
哦。是的。 Oh. Yeah.
娜娜：过来！ Nana: Come here!
过来，亲爱的！ Come here, dear!
来吧!请进！ Come on! Come on in!
来吧! Come on!
来点玉米吗？ Want some corn?
上面说过期了，但我不相信。 It says it's expired, but I don't believe that.
你呢? Do you?
人永远不会真正过期。 People are never really expired.
或日志。 Or logs.
你知道日志的事吗？ You know about the log?
我当然知道日志的事了！ Well, of course I know about the log!
不然我为什么要坐在这里冻掉我的奶子！ Why else am I sitting in here freezing my tits off?!
你现在邪恶了吗？ A-Are you evil now?
你觉得这很邪恶吗？ Does this look evil to you?
娜娜：谢谢…… Nana: Thank you...
你还没死。 You're not dead.
我有一个非常重要的消息要告诉你！ I have a very important message for you!
它在…… It's in...
它在哪里？我以为在这里呢。 Where is it? I thought I had it in here.
哦…… Oh...
开关。来吧。 Switch up. Come on.
娜娜：椅子…… Nana: The chair...
亚历克斯? !亚历克斯!亚历克斯! Alex?! Alex! Alex!
佐伊!我的天啊！ Zoe! Oh, my God!
嗯! Hm!
我的天啊！我好想你！ Oh, my God! I've missed you so much!
我想你了 I've missed you --
我更想你了。 I've missed you more.
我有太多话想对你说。 There is just so much I want to tell you.
你错过了太多的生活 You've missed out on so much of life and --
宝贝，我爱你。是的。 Uh, baby, I love you. Yeah.
只是，现在不是说这个的时候。 Just it's -- it's not a great time right now.
我们得训练。 W-We have to train.
来吧，亚历克斯。来吧。我们走吧。 Come on, Alex. Come on. Let's go.
来吧。是的。 Come on. Yeah.
“时间不太好。” "Not a great time."
是的。 Yeah.
我很快就会见到你。 I'll see you soon.
来吧。我们走吧。来吧。向左转。 Come on. Let's go. Come on. Give me a left.
亚历克斯! Alex!
我想那句话是在我另一条裤子里。 I think that message was in my other pants.
不管怎样，我记得要点。 Anyway, I remember the gist.
“爱永存，恨便被征服。” "Hate is vanquished when love remains."
或者可能是…… Or maybe it's...
“仇恨被征服”？ "Hate is conquered"?
哦…哦… Oh...oh...
哦。差不多就是这样。 Oh. Something like that.
嗯，这太普通了。 Mm. That's incredibly generic.
我觉得它很漂亮。 I thought it was pretty.
It's getting soft.
娜娜：它变软了！ Nana: It's getting soft!
你看起来很平静。 You looked so peaceful.
我们不想吵醒你。 We didn't want to wake you.
我想叫醒你！我要冰淇淋！ I wanted to wake you! I want ice cream!
圣诞夜快乐，佐伊！ Merry Christmas Eve, Zoe!
圣诞夜快乐，杰克森。 Merry Christmas Eve, Jaxon.
好吧!再见! Okay! Bye!
我今天不能去商店了。 I can't go into the store today.
我的胃很难受。 My stomach's all jacked up.
我有平安夜晚餐！ And I have Christmas Eve dinner!
我能帮忙吗，奶奶？ Can I help, Nana?
嗯,是的。你可以离我远点。 Uh, yes. You can stay out of my way.
我不需要你的大城市方式烧了我的砂锅菜。 I don't need your big-city ways burning my casseroles.
你知道大城市里也有砂锅菜吧？ Well, you know we have casseroles in the big city, right?
和杰克森一起去开店。 Go open the store with Jaxon.
伯特有事要办。 Birt had to run an errand.
好吧。来吧，伙计。 Okay. Come on, buddy.
哦!哈! Ohh! Huh!
我不记得吃过沙拉。 I don't remember eating salad.
是给我的吗？ Is that for me?
打开它。 Open it.
我不是应该等到圣诞节吗？ Well, shouldn't I wait for Christmas?
不。你现在应该打开它。 No. You should open it now.
你打开它就明白了！ It'll make sense when you open it!
哦! Ohh!
我知道你喜欢珊瑚。 I know you like coral.
杰克森，这真是太好了 Jaxon, this is the sweetest thing
从来没有人为我做过这样的事。 anyone has ever done for me.
哦,废话。嗯…等一等。 Oh, crap. Uh... Hold on.
佐伊:哦。 Zoe: Oh.
那是什么? What's that?
这是你妈妈的虾软糖食谱的第二页。 It's the second page to your mom's shrimp fudge recipe.
难怪你爸爸不能复制它！ No wonder your dad couldn't replicate it!
少了一页！ There was a page missing!
我们能做到吗？ Can we make it?!
这将是送给爸爸最好的圣诞礼物！ This would be the best Christmas present for dad ever!
请,佐伊吗?好吗? Please, Zoe? Please?
好吧。我们要去市场。 Okay. We're going to the market.
在这里。关键时刻。 Here it is. Moment of truth.
Mmm-mmm-mmm ! Mmm-mmm-mmm!
神圣的软糖!太好了！ Holy fudge! That is good!
Fudgin”! Fudgin' A!
好吧。咱们把店关了，回家去吧。 Okay. Let's close up shop and get back to the house.
你的叔叔阿姨很快就要回来了。 Your aunts and uncles will be home soon.
他们会喜欢这个傻逼的！ They're gonna love this mother fudger!
关于软糖的笑话说够了。 That's enough with the fudge jokes.
你能把装饰品拿过来吗，小j ？ Can you grab the ornament, J-Man?
这是奇怪的。 That's weird.
——佐伊。——Jakester。 - Zoe. - Jakester.
你怎么不接电话？ Why don't you pick up your phone?
车修好了。道路畅通。 The car's fixed. The road is clear.
我们走吧。我们可以走了。 Let's go. We can go.
我有安排。 I-I-I have plans.
我做了软糖。 I made fudge.
软糖? Fudge?
但圣诞原木节就在今晚。 But the Yule Log Festival is tonight.
你肯定想远离这些。我了解你。 Surely you want to get far away from that. I know you.
听着，我不知道自己在想什么。 Look, I don't -- I don't know what I think anymore.
你不想让我喜欢这里吗？ And don't you want me to like it here?
你不是和坦纳有约了吗？ Don't you have plans with Tanner?
我们吵了一架。 We had a fight.
这种关系已经变得陈旧了。 The relationship has gotten stale.
过期?已经三天了。 Stale? It's been three days.
我只想离开这里，好吗！ I just want to get out of here, okay?!
好吧。看。我们得走了。跟坦纳和好吧 Okay. Look. We gotta go. Just make it up with Tanner.
怎么啦？佐伊——我们得走了。 What? Zoe -- We gotta go.
佐伊!拜托，杰克森。 Zoe! Come on, Jaxon.
杰克森是谁？！ Who is Jaxon?!
…一定会很有趣的。 ...it's gonna be so much fun.
哦! Ohh!
<我>减少蓝色!我拿着我的法棍面包。 Sacre bleu! I was carrying my baguettes.
我没看路，而且 I wasn't watching where I was going, and --
我是弗朗索瓦。你是… I am Francois. You are...
Jakester。 Jakester.
但我想我扭伤了脚踝，弗朗索瓦。 But I think I twisted my ankle, Francois.
你能帮我吗？ Can you help me?
对不起，先生。<我>抱歉,。抱歉,。 I'm sorry, monsieur. Désolé. Désolé.
哦。谢谢你！哦! Oh. Thank you. Ohh!
我还在想你们去哪了。 I was wondering where you guys were.
哦。你拿的是什么？啊哈! Oh. What do you got there? Ah-ah!
这是一个惊喜。我在哪里看到你了？ It's a surprise. And where were you?
你知道奶奶有多想出名吗？ You know how Nana's always wanting to be famous?
是的。她不停地谈论这件事。 Yeah. She won't stop talking about it.
我给她买了个广告牌。 I got her a billboard.
不可能。 No way.
的作品。是的。 The works. Yeah.
我以后再担心付钱的事。 I'll worry about paying for it later.
来吧。让我们见见他的家人。 Come on. Let's meet the family.
-大家好。-嘿，嘿！ - Hey, everyone. - Hey, hey!
-这是佐伊。——哦。嗨,佐伊。 - This is Zoe. - Oh. Hi, Zoe.
佐伊，这是克里斯，圣诞贺卡。 Zoe, this is Chris, for Christmas Card.
——安。-周年纪念的缩写。 - Ann. - Short for Anniversary.
嗨。这就是情人节的瓦尔。 Hi. That's Val for Valentine's Day.
她的丈夫，乔。还有慰问卡。 Her husband, Joe. And Sym for Sympathy Card.
现在我对世界产生了同情。 And now I have sympathy for the world.
啊，他是孩子， Ah, he's the baby,
所有的好名字都被取走了。 so all the good names were taken.
对吧? Right?
好了,伙计们。我们去给妈妈摆桌子吧。 Okay, guys. Let's go set the table for Mom.
她的胃不舒服。 Her stomach is acting up.
啊… Ah...
我很好! I'm fine!
不过是蝴蝶罢了！ It's butterflies, is all!
反正你也会搞砸的！ You'd mess it up anyway!
让我把斧头放下。 Just let me put down my...axe.
我的天啊。你对吧? Oh, my God. You alright?
不。伯特，我把斧子落在店里了！ No. Birt, I left my axe at the store!
佐伊，我去拿。 Uh, Zoe, I'll go get it.
不，不，不。没关系。我们 No, no, no, no. It's okay. We're, um --
我们要吃晚饭了。 We're about to have dinner.
你确定吗?我不介意。 You sure? I don't mind.
是的。 Yeah.
这是这么久以来第一次 This is actually the first time in forever
我连斧头的事都没想过。 I haven't even thought about the axe.
这是我收到的最好的圣诞礼物！ This is the best Christmas present ever!
我想吻你！ I could kiss you!
我不会阻止你的。 I'm not stopping you.
克里斯：开个房间！ Chris: Get a room!
克里斯。 Chris.
来吧!食物要凉了！ Come on! Food's getting cold!
来吧! Come on!
好吧。 Okay.
系好安全带，迎接卡牌家庭圣诞节。 Buckle in for a Cards family Christmas.
好吧。 Okay.
看起来很不错。 Looks pretty good.
说吧，杰克森。 Go ahead, Jaxon.
祝福这食物滋养我们的身体。 Bless this food for the nourishment of our bodies.
愿上帝保佑这个家庭。祝福佐伊。 And bless this family. And bless Zoe.
:阿们。 All: Amen.
等待。不吃!我们有一个惊喜！ Wait. Don't eat! We have a surprise!
我们走吧。好吧。 Let's go. Okay.
你需要帮忙吗？不。没关系。 Do you need a hand? No. It's okay.
-提前送圣诞礼物？-希望如此。 - Early Christmas present? - I hope so.
哈! Ta-da!
——哦!-嗨。 - Ooh! - Hey.
这是什么？ What is it?
它是…… It is...
杰克森：这是虾软糖！佐伊找到了配方！ Jaxon: It's shrimp fudge! Zoe found the recipe!
还有第二页呢！ There was a second page!
唷。 Whew.
我希望你没有疯。 I hope that you are not mad.
疯了吗? Mad?
啊,Jaxon。 Aw, Jaxon.
佐伊，你让我很开心。 Zoe, you've -- you've made me so happy.
如此高兴的原因。 So happy.
哦，它看起来——天哪！看起来不可思议！ Oh, and it looks -- Gosh! It looks incredible!
——哇!——哦。哦。打扰一下。我—— - Whoa! - Oh. Oh. Excuse me. I'm --
打扰一下。我只是有点紧张。 Excuse me. I -- It's just butterflies.
她有。她有。 Is she having a -- Is she having a --
你中风了吗？ Are you having a stroke?
不要在食物上！ Not on the food!
哦!娜娜!哇! Oh! Nana! Whoa!
奶奶，把头从桌子上移开！ Nana, point your head away from the table!
伯特：谁来打911！ Birt: Somebody call 911!
——哦!-天啊！ - Oh! - Oh, God!
她一直吐在食物上！ She keeps vomiting right on the food!
别再谈那些该死的食物了！ Stop talking about the damn food!
大家:哦! All: Ohh!
-她噎住了。-我要给她海姆利克急救法！ - She's choking. - I'll give her the Heimlich!
-我受过这方面的训练！-你以为是中风！ - I'm -- I'm trained in this! - You thought it was a stroke!
把它拿出来。把它拿出来，奶奶！ Get it out. Get it out, Nana!
你会没事的。 You're gonna be okay.
妈妈? Mom?
感谢上帝。你会没事的，奶奶。 Thank God. You're gonna be fine, Nana.
哦! Ohh!
-天啊！——兄弟! - Oh, God! - Bro!
哦，我的天哪！ Ann: Oh, my God!
伯特：打911！ Birt: Call 911!
-天啊！——好吧! - Oh, God! - Okay!
她要变成格鲁特了！ She's turning into Groot!
克里斯：娜娜，什么是 Chris: Nana, what is --
克丽丝:哦!娜娜!哦! Chris: Oh! Nana! Ohh!
没事的，奶奶！ It's okay, Nana!
嗯! Mmm!
Jaxon:佐伊? ! Jaxon: Zoe?!
佐伊!我很害怕! Zoe! I'm scared!
爸爸让我待在家里，但是… Dad told me to stay inside, but...
我怕他们会伤害奶奶！ I'm afraid they're gonna hurt Nana!
他们觉得她很坏，但是 They think she's bad, but
我觉得她变成超级英雄了！ I jus think she turned into a superhero!
她刚杀了赛姆叔叔因为她还不知道自己的能力。 She just killed Uncle Sym because she didn't know her powers yet.
你应该做父亲—— You should father --
你应该听你爸爸的话，宝贝。 You should listen to your father, sweetie.
Jaxon !Jaxon ! Jaxon! Jaxon!
Jaxon ! Jaxon!
这太不成熟了。 This is just immature.
不成熟。我打赌我知道是谁干的。 Immature. Bet I know who did it.
我看到了碎片。我告诉过你清理这个院子。 I see debris. I told you to clear this yard.
它必须表现出来。 It has to show.
唉,亚历杭德罗。你脑子里有豆子吗？！ Ay, Alejandro. Do you have beans for brains?!
哦,善良。 Oh, goodness.
搞什么鬼？ What the hell?
怪物娜娜：你高中时就是个贱人…… Nana Monster: You were a bitch in high school...
你现在是个婊子了！ And you are a bitch now!
哦，我的天哪！看看大家！ Oh, my goodness! Look at everyone!
你看起来真漂亮！ You look beautiful!
圣诞原木节的时间到了 It is time for the Yule Log Festival
正式开始！ to officially begin!
还有，大家…… And -- And, everyone...
视频观看次数最多的人 Whoever gets the most views on their video
用我的morenments就能得到1万美元！ using my Morenaments is gonna get $10,000!
大家玩得开心！更! Have fun, everyone! Be more!
佐伊:Jaxon ! Zoe: Jaxon!
Jaxon ! Jaxon!
Birt:佐伊。佐伊! Birt: Zoe. Zoe!
杰克森在屋里。一切都还好吗？ Jaxon's in the house. Is everything okay?
不。杰克森去找奶奶了！ No. Jaxon went looking for Nana!
他觉得她是个超级英雄！大便。 He thinks she's some sort of superhero! Shit.
除非我下令，否则不要开枪。杰克森可能跟她在一起。 Don't shoot unless I order. Jaxon might be with her.
我很抱歉。我诅咒。 I am so sorry. I'm cursed.
我，我把它带来了。 I brought -- I brought it here.
你没有被诅咒。我是! You are not cursed. I am!
佐伊，这不是你的错。 Zoe, this isn't your fault.
我们得，我们得散开。 We need to -- We need to fan out.
不，不，不。这就是它想要的。 No, no, no. That's what it wants.
它想孤立我们，一个接一个地杀死我们。 It wants to isolate us and kill us one by one.
我们必须团结一致。我需要我的斧头。 We have to stick together. And I need my axe.
听佐伊说。她以前遇到过这种情况。 Listen to Zoe. She's dealt with this before.
克里斯：找到了！发现它! Chris: Found it! Found it!
开枪吧。 Take your shot.
Jaxon:不!不! Jaxon: No! No!
Jaxon !不!我叫你待在家里！ Jaxon! No! I told you to stay at home!
你想杀外婆！ You're trying to shoot Nana!
伯特：那不是娜娜——那—— Birt: That wasn't Nana -- That --
那可能是她的身体，但她的灵魂早已不在了！ it might have been her body, but her soul is long gone!
相信我。 Just trust me.
它跑掉了。但是在哪里? It ran off. But where?
它以创伤和谋杀为食。它需要人。 It feeds off of trauma and murder. It needs people.
嘿，怎么了，伙计？ Yo, what's going on, chat?
我和我儿子在这里参加圣诞原木节。 I'm here with my boy at the Yule Log Festival.
我有运动，宝贝！ And I've got the Morenament, baby!
我要赢一万米！ I'm gonna win that 10K!
我想知道我能不能把这玩意砸在头上。 Yo, I wonder if I can smash this Morenament on my head.
你觉得呢？嗯?你敢说我吗? Chat, what do you think? Huh? You dare me?
好吧。准备好了吗?一个,两个…… Alright. Ready? One, two...
这里有三种方法 Here are three ways
我的乡巴佬丈夫把装饰品挂错了！ my redneck husband hangs his ornaments wrong!
这是由morenments带来的， And this is brought to you by Morenaments,
他们慷慨地让我们飞到这里来。 who were generous enough to fly us out here.
一号…… Number one...
我喜欢我的新吊坠。 I just love my new pendant.
快速的问题。我的裙子是什么颜色的？ Quick question. What color was my dress?
的答案。这是黄色的! Answer. It's yellow!
正如你所听到的，每个人都在尖叫 As you can hear, everyone's screaming
在我的运动中，宝贝！ over my Morenaments, baby!
这是获得浏览量的一种方式。 That's one way to get views.
哦。开始吧。哦!好吧!是啊! Oh. Here we go. Oh! Alright! Yeah!
先生!我们有麻烦了。我们现在必须撤离。 Sir! We have a situation. We have to evacuate now.
怎么啦？等待。发生了什么? !不! What? Wait. What's happening?! No!
我的Morenaments ! My Morenaments!
长官，我们得走了！ Sir, we have to go!
我的上帝。 My God.
它占有了其他的圣诞柴。 It's possessing the other Yule logs.
我要你向任何飞行的木头开火 I want you to fire on any flying log
你有一个清晰的镜头！ where you have a clear shot!
男：飞什么？你听到了！ Man: Flying what? You heard me!
-对不起，伯特。-佐伊，我不想听。 - I'm sorry, Birt. - Zoe, I don't want to hear it.
你打败过它一次。你可以再来一次！ You defeated this thing once. You can do it again!
我相信你。 I believe in you.
是的，我更像是，你知道， Yeah, I'm more of the, you know,
“把猫从树上救下来”那种小镇治安官。 "getting a cat out of a tree" type small-town sheriff.
这本该是一份轻松的工作 This was supposed to be a cushy job
在那里我可以烧一根肥的。 where I could just blaze a fat one.
大火!这是它! Blaze! That's it!
消防部门！ The fire department!
水!轴!这就是我们需要的！ Water! Axes! That's what we need!
神圣的狗屎! Holy shit!
我们需要消防队来参加圣诞原木节！ We need the fire department at the Yule Log Festival!
去私人频道吧，蒂娜。 Go onto a private channel, Dina.
听起来会很奇怪。 This shit's about to sound weird.
博勒加德：啊，该死！他妈的,他妈的!我听懂了吗？！ Beauregard: Ah, shit! Shit, shit! Did I get that?!
啊,狗屎!我没明白！ Ah, shit! I didn't get it!
哦,狗屎。好吧。 Oh, shit. Okay.
嘿,BeauRevolutionaries。 Hey, BeauRevolutionaries.
我们躲在一些人所说的 We're hiding at what some are calling
圣诞原木大屠杀，我们 the Yule Log Massacre and we're --
先生!先生!安静!嘘! Sir! Sir! Quiet! Shh!
哦,狗屎! Oh, shit!
有一个设定。我可以调暗。 There's a setting. I can dim it.
该死的，博雷加德！ God damn it, Beauregard!
啊! Aah!
罗杰? Roger?
罗杰? ! Roger?!
好的,BeauRevolutionaries。 Okay, BeauRevolutionaries.
我要去破坏邪恶圣诞柴。 I'm about to disrupt the Evil Yule Log.
好吧。 Okay.
哦,不。 Oh, no.
不。 No.
不。不。 No. No.
不。不,不。 No. No, no.
不! No!
不。不，不，不。 No. No, no, no, no.
不。不。 No. No.
哦,不。不! Oh, no. No!
哦，不，不，不，不！哦! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Oh!
的帮助!的帮助!嘿!拜托!有人! Help! Help! Hey! Please! Someone!
包瑞德将军!我有钱!拜托!我会付钱给你的！ It's Beauregard! I'm rich! Please! I'll pay you!
佐伊! Zoe!
带她。不是我。 Take her. Not me.
佐伊! Zoe!
我一直都知道你是我的圣诞原木女王。 I always knew you were my Yule Log queen.
“带走她，别带走我”？ "Take her, not me"?
我在跟消防员说话，先救你！ I was talking to the fireman, to save you first!
谁知道我们的第二次约会会如此精彩！ Who knew that our second date would be so action-packed?!
第二次约会吗? Second date?
博雷加德就是那个和你约会的人？ Beauregard is the guy you went on a date with?
伯特，不是你想的那样。我本想告诉你的。 Birt, it's not what you think. I-I meant to tell you.
没关系。这是你的生活。 It's okay. It's -- It's your life.
佐伊:Birt ! Zoe: Birt!
人吗?哦,伙计们? ! Guys? Uh, guys?!
你的目标太高了！ You're aiming it too high!
你要瞄准圆木的中心！ You gotta aim it for the center of the log!
我知道怎么瞄准水管。 I know how to aim a hose.
——Birt ?-没事的，佐伊这是你的选择。 - Birt? - It's okay, Zoe. It's your choice.
伙计们,伙计们! Guys, guys!
博雷加德，你赢了。我知道我累了。 Beauregard, you win. I know when I'm beat.
我觉得没人会赢！ I don't think anyone's winning!
日志!你炸了它们之后，它们又重新亮起来了！ The logs! They're lighting back up after you blast them!
不管用！等待。怎么啦？ It's not working! Wait. What?
他是对的。 He's right.
我们炸了他们，他们还会回来。 They just keep coming back after we blast 'em.
克里斯：还有什么主意吗，佐伊？ Chris: Any more ideas, Zoe?
也许如果你杀了首领，木头就会死？ Maybe if you kill the leader the logs will die?
这似乎是电影中常见的比喻。 Does seem like a common trope in movies.
把水管对准娜娜！ Point the hose at Nana!
我们让她逃跑了！ We got her on the run!
娜娜从来没有跑得那么快。 Nana never ran that fast.
-我想我们弄丢了。-她可能在任何地方 - I think we lost it. - She could be anywhere.
这是削弱。它需要再杀一次。 It's weakened. It needs another kill.
喂? Hello?
喂? ! Hello?!
娜娜! Nana!
你一定饿了！ You must be hungry!
我们有食物。 We have food.
还是你更喜欢肥料？ Or do you prefer fertilizer?
你知道肥料的粪便吗？ Did you know fertilizer's poop?
我猜你现在吃便便了。 I guess you eat poop now.
纵火！ Nana Monster: Arson!
不!我是你的孙子！大的儿子! No! I'm your grandson! Grand son!
不要害怕。你只是在学习你的能力。 Don't be scared. You're just learning your powers.
你可能被放射性树枝划伤了。 You probably got scratched by a radioactive branch.
纵火! Arson!
娜娜!你弄疼我了！ Nana! You're hurting me!
记住。你有超能力！ Remember. You have super strength!
不,娜娜!拜托!我不想 No, Nana! Please! I don't want --
退后，你这个讨厌的婊子！ Back off, you splintery bitch!
去躲起来，孩子。事情要变得一团糟了。 Go hide, son. This is about to get messy.
♬哦，圣诞树 ♪ O, Christmas tree ♪
♬你的树枝多么可爱啊 ♪ How lovely are your branches ♪
♬你的树枝在夏天是那么绿 ♪ Your boughs so green in summertime ♪
♬在冬天勇敢地保持绿色 ♪ Stay bravely green in wintertime ♪
♬哦，圣诞树 ♪ O, Christmas tree ♪
♬你的树枝多么可爱啊 ♪ How lovely are your branches ♪
伯特：现在安全了，杰克森。 Birt: It's safe now, Jaxon.
Jaxon ? ! Jaxon?!
嘿。 Hey.
没关系。 It's okay.
她走了。 She's gone.
但我不想让她离开。 But I didn't want her to be gone.
我知道。但那不是娜娜。 I know. But that wasn't Nana.
奶奶活在我们心中。 Nana lives on in our hearts.
你他妈开什么玩笑？！ Are you fucking kidding me?!
语言! Language!
我们的轴! Our axes!
纵火！ Nana Monster: Arson!
仇恨被征服了…… Hate is vanquished...
当爱还在！ when love remains!
我爱你。 I love you.
怎么啦？ What?
我做了一个梦。 A dream I had.
“爱永存，仇恨被征服” "Hate vanquished when love remains"
或者类似的东西。 or something like that.
“或者类似的东西。” "Or something like that."
我想现在是最好的时机 I guess now is as good a time as any
说我爱你，儿子。 to say I love you, son.
我也爱你，佐伊。 I love you, too, Zoe.
我也爱你，伯特。 I love you, too, Birt.
我不确定这是否浪漫，因为我们才刚认识 I'm not sure if it's romantic since we've just met
我还在服丧呢 and I'm -- I'm still in mourning.
很抱歉我没告诉你博雷加德的事。 I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Beauregard.
我现在根本没想过。 Not even on my mind right now.
佐伊：我也爱你，杰克森。 Zoe: I love you, too, Jaxon.
就是这样。是灰烬。 That's it. It's the ashes.
这是爱的遗骸。 It's love's remains.
“仇恨被征服了……用爱的遗骸。” "Hate is vanquished... with love's remains."
顺便说一下，我是Blaze。 I'm Blaze, by the way.
阿比盖尔。 Abigail.
佐伊吗? Zoe?
Zoe: <我> Birt。 Zoe: Birt.
这不是一个容易写的字母 This isn't an easy letter to write.
我已经决定离开了 I've decided to leave.
现在应该很清楚了 我被诅咒了 By now, it should be clear I am cursed.
和最好的事情 为我爱的人 And the best thing for the people I love
. . . is to be far away from them.
她偷了我的车。 She stole my car.
别找我了。 Don't try to find me.
<我>但请… 永远记住我。 But please... always remember me.
就像我会记得你一样 As I will remember you.
<我>佐伊。 Zoe.
娜娜：就这样？ Nana: That's it?!
你就这么跑了？！ You're just going to run away?!
你可以说， You could've just said,
“把灰烬倒在原木怪物身上。” "Dump the ashes on the Log Monster,"
而不是那些狗屁密码。 instead of all that secret-code shit.
嘿! Hey!
很抱歉我们没有 I'm sorry we didn't have
今年的圣诞节真热闹，杰克森。 much of a Christmas this year, Jaxon.
我真希望奶奶在这里。 I just wish Nana was here.
还有塞姆，还有佐伊。 And Sym. And Zoe.
嘿。我想告诉你一件事。 Hey. I want you to know something.
你妈妈挽救了局面。 Your mom helped save the day.
我只是想让你知道。 I just want you to know that.
我知道。 I know.
也许娜娜会出名——在天堂。 Maybe Nana will get to be famous -- in heaven.
也许吧。 Maybe.
我的天啊。这是萨凡纳圣诞饰品店吗？ Oh, my God. Is this Savannah's Christmas Ornament Store?
这是我们。欢迎。 That's us. Welcome in.
而你妈妈就是那个怪物 And your mother was the monster
圣诞原木屠杀槲寄生的幕后黑手？ behind the Yule Log Massacre of Mistletoe?
我母亲是一个多才多艺的人。 My mother was a lot of things.
她是一个美丽的歌手，一个卑鄙的克里比奇演奏家。 She was a beautiful singer, a mean cribbage player.
啊。我宁愿不去想消极的一面。 Ahh. I prefer not to dwell on the negatives.
这些是她真正碰过的装饰品吗？ Are these the ornaments she actually touched?
她做了很多。是她做的？！ She made a lot of them. She made them?!
我们能买她做的饰品吗！ Can we buy the ornaments she made?!
如果你签了字，我就给你们每人50美元！ I'll pay you $50 each if you sign them!
好吧。这是怎么回事？ Okay. What's going on here?
伙计。你妈妈很有名！ Dude. Your mom's famous!
你们有纪念t恤吗？嗯? Do you have souvenir T-shirts? Huh?
伯特：我从来都不是一个喜欢公开演讲的人。 Birt: I was never one for public speaking, but here goes.
我要感谢大家 I want to thank you all
感谢你来这里庆祝我们的店得救了！ for being here to celebrate our store being saved!
我希望你们都喜欢虾软糖！ And I hope you all enjoy some shrimp fudge!
干杯! Cheers!
我要拿到这个食谱 I gotta get this recipe
因为它是美味的破坏性的！ because it is deliciously disruptive!
绝对不是。 Absolutely not.
我也希望你们都能 And -- And I also hope that you all can s--
佐伊。 Zoe.
你回来了。 You came back.
我想我还是想生活在霍尔马克的电影里。 I guess I wanted to live in a Hallmark movie after all.
自从你走进我的生活， You know, since you came into my life,
我已经变成了砍柴人。 I have become quite the axe man.
开个房间！ Get a room!
现在，各位，是时候了 Now, everyone, it is time
正式向大家介绍， to officially present to all of you,
有史以来第一次， for the very first time,
我们的纪念牌匾纪念那些逝去的生命 our commemorative plaque honoring all those lives lost
槲寄生的圣诞原木大屠杀 at the Yule Log Massacre of Mistletoe.
塔蒂阿娜!你在这里做什么？ Tatiana! What are you doing here?
塔蒂亚娜，我是伯特。 Tatiana, this is Birt.
伯特，这是我以前的老板，塔蒂亚娜。 Birt, this is my former boss, Tatiana.
我希望能再次成为你的老板。 And I hope to be your boss again.
我们能重新雇用你吗？ Can we rehire you?
——什么?-是那虾软糖！ - What? - It's that shrimp fudge!
我们不知道它是怎么做到的，但它让珊瑚起死回生。 We don't know how, but it brings the coral back to life.
但你是怎么—— But how did you even --
我给她打了电话！ I called her!
Jaxon。你这个傻逼。 Jaxon. You little mother fudger.
是的，你可以远程工作。 And, yes, you can work remotely.
如果我住在这个可爱的小镇， If I lived in this cute town,
我永远都不想离开。 I would never want to leave.
你是说珊瑚礁吗？我爱珊瑚礁！ Did you say coral reefs? I love coral reefs!
我能给你的慈善机构捐款吗？我富有。 Can I give to your charity? I'm rich.
绝对的。嗯。 Absolutely. Hm.
你喜欢那个深V吗？ Oh, you like that deep V?
如果你不介意的话 Um, if you'll excuse me,
我有些生意要谈。 I have some, um, business to discuss.
哦，最后一件事。我发誓。最后一件事。 Oh, one last thing. I swear. One last thing.
今天只有我们的衬衫打八折 Today only we are offering 20% off our shirts --
“我在圣诞原木槲寄生大屠杀中幸存了下来。” "I survived the Yule Log Mistletoe Massacre."
你知道奶奶会喜欢的。 You know Nana would have loved that.
嗯。是的。 Hm. Yeah.
娜娜：没错。我是著名的! Nana: It's true. I'm famous!
和看!我在和名人约会！ And look! I'm dating a celebrity!
这一切都太美妙了。 This is all so wonderful.
只有一个问题。 There's just one problem.
这是什么？ What is it?
槲寄生。 Mistletoe.
我不认为那是个问题。 I don't consider that a problem.
别担心，Nanagroot。我会照顾你的。 Don't worry, Nanagroot. I'll take care of you.
我可以治愈你。 I can heal you.
♬圣诞节，圣诞节，圣诞节 ♪ Christmas, Christmas, Christmas ♪