There's a time to think, to act, to reflect, and to move forward.
Overthinking causes you to, well, spend too much time thinking,
take too little action, and turns helpful reflection
into debilitating worry.
It moves you backward, not forward,
and negatively impacts how you view the past,
present, and future.
That's why that timetable exercise is so powerful for helping you
overcome overthinking.
Here's how it works.
Create a three by four table like this. In the left column,
label the rows "Past," "Present," and "Future," like so.
Label the next column over, "Instances of Overthinking."
And the right column,
"New Habits."
Pause this video and create the table.
I'll wait.
First, the "Past" row, in the instances of overthinking column,
write down past events or decisions you keep playing in your
head repeatedly even though you can't do anything about
them anymore,
like that bad meeting you had.
Include what you specifically keep beating yourself up for too, like,
something you said in that meeting.
Getting over overthinking starts with self-awareness of
when you're doing it.
In the "New Habits" column,
write down these empowering habits to commit to instead.
Let the past go.
Not easy,
I know.
To help,
ask yourself why it's so important to let go.
Say your answer out loud.
For example,
I must let it go that I had a bad meeting.
It's causing me to be paranoid about how my boss feels about me.
Next,
practice self-compassion, being kinder to yourself
about past actions.
Finally here,
revisit decisions only when you have new information, which
is self explanatory.
Now the "Present" row.
In the "Instances of Overthinking" column, write down where you're
currently stuck.
Continually analyzing but not taking action, like "Should
I change jobs?"
Also, write down instances where you worry about what others think
of you like when giving presentations, for example.
In the "New Habits" column,
write down these empowering habits to establish instead.
Evaluate the real impact of being wrong.
We overthink because we fear being wrong.
When you're stuck in an action, ask what the realistic cost
of being wrong is.
Lowering the stakes raises your ability to get mentally unstuck.
Next,
remember that overthinking and problem-solving aren't
the same thing.
Constantly revisiting scenarios,
it feels like your problem-solving, doing something useful,
but you're just spinning.
Recognize when you're overthinking,
realize it's not problem-solving, and move forward.
Last here, compare only to yourself.
When you worry about what others think,
you're really worrying about how you're comparing to their
expectation of you.
But the only comparison that matters is to who you were
yesterday and whether or not you're becoming a better
version of yourself.
Stay focused on that.
Finally, the "Future" row. In the "Instances of Overthinking" column,
write down things about the future you're worrying
too much about.
In the "New Habits" column,
write down these habits to exchange for those worries.
Replace "What if" with "We'll see." Overthinkers keep asking
themselves, "What if" which can't be answered.
Instead, switch "What if" to "We'll see," which moves you past worry towards
acceptance of what you can't control.
Next,
stop catastrophizing.
It's hard not to think a lot about terrible outcomes you're
imagining,
but it is just your imagination.
Ask yourself, what evidence do I have that this bad outcome
will actually happen?
Pause this video now,
complete the timetable, and reflect on your new habits.
Congratulations.
You're ready to move forward with empowering habits and change the
stories you tell yourself about the past,
present, and future.
Goodbye, overthinking.
Hello,
overachieving.