Subtitles : GDING
(male narrator) Okay Settle down
Got your ears open?
(clears throat)
This is the story of a sad flute
a laughin baby and a weepin' sword.
A long, long time ago in a land far, far away,
there lived a warrior....
warrior with empty eyes.
He'd tralned his entire life for one purpose.
To be the greatest swordsman ln the history of mankind.
He'd just achieved his life's ambition,
but his heart felt emptier than ever.
These two clans had been warrin' for 500 years.
And they vowed to keep on warrin' until one of them
didn't have a single man left above Styx
(giggles)
(coos, cries)
(coos giggles)
And so now, here he was,
peerin' down at this very last of hls enemy.
(baby coos, laughs)
When that little warrior princess giggled,
it did somethin' to him inside.
But this was no time for feelin'
For when spared that baby's life,
he put his name atthe top of his own clan's death list.
With nothin' but the clothes on his back and the baby in hls arms,
he decided to pay a visit to an old warrior friend in a faraway land.
Hey Johnny.
I don't like your stinkin' face
Easy, Ronald.
The name's Eight- Ball Like in the game
Good luck for some, bad luck for others.
How can I assst you, my friend from the mystcal East?
Uh- oh
Haven't been here since Smiley kicked the bucket.
Was a 3-day wait just to get your shirts pressed
(laughs)
For a guy who cleaned sheets all day he sure liked to make a mess
in the after-hours, if you know what l mean
See you in the morning
(man) You came to me to be strong.
l have made you the strongest.
She will always be the enemy
(baby crying in distance)
(bellows)
Here it is.
Just rub some on yourshoulder
Smiley's Oriental cure-all Works like a charm.
(crying)
Now, honey, I didn't forget about you
lts alright there.lt's okay. Ssh, ssh, ssh.
Sorry about the tap l gave ya. l thought you knew the sword.
Smiley was aways yabberin' on about a guy who was gonna roll into town.
But l shoulda figgered What do you call her?
I do not know.
Oh She's not yours?
Where's her folks?
Dead.
0o- ee best we find you another diaper
Alright.
Smiley like your uncle or something?
Friend
Well , if you were hs friend maybe he would like for you
to take over his laundry
-- Do not know how -- So l'll teach ya.
I always done the laundry around here.
That's how repaid Smiley for teaching me the sword
Tell you what l'm gonna do.
You stay here l'll teach you how to tie a diaper properly
We'll be partners, 60:40 You are the 40
Alright now, time to get to work
Dang, you're slower than moasses in January
(fly buzzing)
You clean that real good, yellow boy
As clean as Snow White's panties...
lf find the smallest bit of condor crap on my fancy duds...
-- Well, we gonna have us... -- (crunch)
Didn't l tell you l'd rip 'em off if you don't watch yourself?
Let go, evil midget!
Come on, Eight- Ball we were just havin' us some fun.
-- Realy? - - Ah! (grunts)
0kay .. okay... Let go.
- - ( aughs) - - Get outta here!
How 'bout a home- cooked meal for you and your little 'un?
Once that Ferris wheel is finished, it's gonna bring everybody rushin' back.
And then we can take the word "trave ing' out of" travelling circus.'
Hey, Ron.
(slurring) Welcome to the Eighth Wonderof the World!
Get down here! The chow bell ringin'!
Ha!
(light applause)
(woman) Bravo, bravo.
(laughs, applause)
Gonna grab some vittles with us?
No thanks. Not hungry.
I...l...I b...baked a cake.
Come on. Ron
What the hell's up with her?
You, I knew you was troube the moment you walked into this...
(gurgles)
(snores laughter)
(woman singing operatically)
(squeals)
Sounds even better from inside
(singing continues)
You ever seen one of these before?
The sound it's makin'? lt's called "opera."
Day my poppa found his first chunk of god,
he went out and bought this thing.
Listen. Here's my favorite part.
(narrator) So at the edge of the desert, in a busted town full of broken people,
the warrlor began to learn stuff he shoulda learned a long time ago
(squishing)
No, no! Rough!
Like the joy of gettin' dirty things clean.
(laughs)
Yes!
Woo hoo! That's me (laughs) Thank you!
I told you to aim at the line not at the coin!
Al right! (laughs)
He also learned the joy of losing
You're gonna need blood and bone of about 100 dead buffaloes as fertilizer.
Smiley always tred to get something to grow.
Never, ever lasted too long.
He learned you could be happy workin' with folks.
And findin' the simpe peace in some private time
after a hard day's work.
(door bell chimes)
What's takin' you so long?
Come on, Skinny! You gonna miss it. Come on.
(door bell chimes door closes)
(train whistle blows)
And he found that it's nice to have a few friends around
when the sun goes down.
but most of all, the warrior learned there's a heck of a lot more pleasure
makln' things grow than there is in cuttln' 'em down.
(laughter)
You bunch of pups! Gimme back that goddamn bottle!
You win. Show me what you got.
God damn! I shoulda never taught you this game!
You a shark wth a poker face.
What happened to her?
(woman whimpers) Pease! Help me!
-- Help me! -- Lynne!
-- Please! Let her go! -- Someone, help me
-- Eight- Ball! -- Lynne!
(man) Hungry?
No?
Pretty thing.
Aagh!
Agh! Aah!
Damn you!
(pistol cocks)
Noooo!
(grunting, crowd murmuring)
No! Lynne! Lynne!
Agh!
No!!
(woman sobs, gunshots)
No!!
0nly thing was, when we wentto bury her,
she was still breathing.
Never known nobody that close to kickn' it.
We didn't know what to do wit' her, if'n she was gonna live or die
So we just put her in bed and waited.
Two days, and she was eating soup.
By the day three, she was already sitting up somehow
and singing daggers at the wall.
But God ain't fair
And some people just ain't cut out for the knife.
Dang it. My arm ain't worth a damn
It is not your arm
What'd you say?
0uch!
Now you sure about this?
Cause I'm not so good with my eyes open.
Throw.
I can't do it
Do not talk. Focus.
lt is your heart that shakes
You dead?
Not yet
Sure you're not fountainin' bood or anything, are ya?
Oh, sht!
(laughs) Ha!
I did it!
Thank you, Mr. Sad Flute
Smiley told me everything
l just taught you to focus.
Why you do that?
0kay. I've always been dyin' to know.
Why are y'all called The Sad Flutes?
So you got lady Sad Futes, too?
Sad Flutinas or somethin' ?
Yes.
Wow! That's nice
Jumpin' in the moonlight and kissin'
as you both fly under the stars to the tunes of The Sad Flutes...
We are called Sad Flutes because when you cut the throat,
the ast sound is like a sad flute
Dang!
Sknny, sure know how to throw a dead cat into a party room, don't ya?
Why'd you become a Sad Flute?
To be strong.
That it?
My father was working in the field
I was helping him.
A swordsman came.
Killed my father.
Just to test his sword
That musta hurt you somethin' bad.
Not hurt Angry.
Course.
No.
l was angry at my father.
Here. Take it.
It's a present. My momma gave it to me
She said, "if you hold it overyour heart when you're sad,
t takes away all your sadness."
It works.
Kinda.
Present?
Yeah
(footsteps approaching)
(whimpers)
(dog yips)
That is your only friend here.
Take good care of it.
Yes, master
Oh, tarnations.
0nly to protect, not kill.
What am l gonna kill in this town, an armadillo?
Is that what l think it is?
You've sealed it.
So they cannot hear.
Hear what?
The weeping
0f all the souls have taken.
Who's listenin' ?
My past.
And if it hears?
No more music.
This is a big country, Where do we look?
Do not ook
We listen.
He will show.
Think of the sword as part of the body
Like a fnger. Like a tooth.
Rather think of it like metal slicin' through a herd of buffalo!
Show me what Smiley taught you.
You do not have the power.
Well, thank you very much l did not know that.
But you are fast.
Just have to be faster
0uch!
0uch! Is this cause of yesterday? 'Cause l said l was sorry!
What? Cut it out Skinny I'm serious!
You are slower than molasses in January.
(laughs) Come on, then!
Ah! ( laughs) Ouch!
Cut it out Skinny!
0w!(laughs)
Stop it Skinny! (laughs)
Cut t out! !'m serious!
(laughs) Stop!
(laughter)
(speaking Spanish)
(man) You bearded nut
Merry Christmas, Laundry Man!
(crowd) Merry Christmas!
(crowd cheers) Merry Christmas.
Yeah!
(cheers and applause)
(laughs)
(lively music pays)
We go!
(laughterand scattered cheers)
May l have this dance?
(crowd clapping rhythmically)
Whose birthday?
Well ... lt's sort of a long story.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, ya young punks!
Ya gonna take me for a spin or what?
(metal canging)
I win.
No
Until yourenemy's heart stops. you have not won.
Is that so?
Did that stop your heart?
(horse whinnies)
(record skipping)
("Silent Night" plays)
Ha! That's better!
(chuckles)
Merry Christmas!
I didn't get my invitation
Has anyone seen it?
No? Huh.
Never mind
We're all here now
No harm done.
Ho, ho, ho
And what did Santa bring you, little boy? Huh?
Why... if it ain't a clown.
You're looking so sad. Huh.
You know, I never found cowns that funny myself.
(gunshots, men whoop ng and laughing)
Don't worry clown. l'm a pretty good shot.
Especally when l've been drinking
(bottle clatters)
Hey!
Don't go wastin' good moonshine
Wow. This shit's smoother'n a calfs ass.
But this... this party's for girls.
Let's all go to the spilloon!
What have we here?
Looks like we got ourselves another clown.
Take this cown for a walk.
(men cheer)
(choking and sputtering)
(laughter and whooping)
(needle scratches, crowd gasps)
(laughter)
Never quite understood the attraction of a crcus.
(laughter)
Till now. (laughs)
Join the others in Stockton I'll catch you up.
Hyah! Hyah!
(laughter and whoopng)
Gentlemen, have a few old memories I'd like to revisit
Folow me. (clicks tongue)
Dang it! He klled my whole family
God damn it, Baptiste, let me go or l swear I'm gonna...
-- I...l...l'm sorry, Lynne. -- Lynne.
This ain't just for yourprotection you know.
It's for the whoe goddamn town.
(door closes)
Let me see!
We have a wnner! Gentlemen?
(man) Maria!
(gun cocks)
(speaks Spanish)
He is your, uh... marido?
My apologies.
I am not the kind of man who seeps with a married woman
No.
Porfavor Gracias, Senor!
(woman screams)
Mommy! No! (both sobbing)
0h!
But their daughters...
0h, that's a competey dfferent matter.
Clean them up
You get a bu let n the head for every ouse l find.
I once strung a man up by his own hamstrings
because he cooked me a steak well-done.
(laughs)
What?
Find that funny?
0r is it because of this?
(door opens)
Thank you, gentlemen.
This girl says she'll serve herself up to you instead of the spics.
Have we, uh, met before?
No We haven't.
This is bound to be a night you will never forget.
You have good teeth
I like that.
Colonel , as you unwrap me,
l'm sure you will find there's a whole lot more of me to like.
I have no doubt of that.
And though l may be young.
I was hopin' you could teach me a thing or two.
Life's best lessons tend to hurt
Sharp pain can bring sharp peasure
Tell them to get This ain't the theatre
Gentlemen, you heard the lady. Make yourselves scarce.
(door closes)
Lynne!
She's not here!
Now l..I might say some things during
Feel free to answer if you like.
Nothing is too wrong.
I've been waitin' my whoe life for a pace
where it's right to be wrong
(grunts)
You know, l don't think any part of the body is dirty or bad.
Just as long as it's well-scrubbed
Yes
Assemble
Now
Now where do you plan to begin the inspection?
(water spashing) I like where the skin creases...
Go on
Between your nice... big...
Moment l smelt your neck...
it all came flooding back.
No girl could ever smell as sweet.
You changed it all My world.
My face
You changed my life, litte girl.
And now I'm... I'm going to change yours.
(grunting)
That certainly is a beautiful scar l gave you.
(grunts) A hard-on fora scar.
(chuckles) Now that is wrong.
0ops.
I forgot.
Nothing tonight is wrong.
(gruntng)
Tel the cook to fry up some potatoes
(chuckles)
And while we're waiting, I thought l should give you
what l was so generously offering ten years ago.
Enjoy the show.
No! He's mine
-- Lynne . -- Are you all right?
Cover me!
Hod on!
Lynne!
Agh!
(indistinct murmuring)
(man) Pull it off.
-- She gotthe wrong guy. -- That ain't him.
(woman) Oh, God help us.
Merry Christmas! (laughs)
Sweet motherof God, it's a goddamn butcher shop in here!
(indistinct murmuring)
I must go or you will all be in danger.
(Eight- Ball) We're in danger already.
Colonel's on the loose.
That's right Lynne here smoked the wrong guy.
Now the Colonel's coming back, and he's bringing the whole damn family.
We need the guy who did that butcher job n the saloon
Well , I say we all just pack up and leave.
He's right lf you stay and fight, you'll die like rats.
Well, we'll die like rats with rifles
What rifles?
You got a Chink with a sword and a buncha juggling idiots.
-- How dare you?! -- That ain't all we got.
Hey!
Beth wll understand.
Folow me.
I ruined everything Didn't I ?
You did what you had to do.
You couda just grabbed April and hit the trail.
Butyou didn't.
Knowing saving me woud ruin every new thing you found here
This New World, without you...
not so new
Hey, let's say somehow they all come and go and we're still breathin'
You're still gonna leave, right?
That is the pan
Um...
Maybe could go with you?
Just think about it, alright?
Hey!
That's my primo cactus juice!
(laughter)
Yee- haw! Whoo!
I knew what you was from the get- go.
Don't need to look atthe size of a man.
I can smell the blood
It was on you, too.
Yeah
Good
Now, get my jacket clean if you can.
lf l'm gonna die, I want to look good doing it.
Why die?
'Cause we only got about a hundred sticks of dynamite and a few weapons
That ain't much more in to sitng them with.
You aso have that.
Done a good job on this garden Well, for a laundry man.
You do a good shooting
-- For a drunken man -- (chuckles)
Why you stopped the shooting?
Well, I just went around robbing banks, hittng trains
till ran into the only force that can truly bring down any outlaw
Sheriff?
(grunts) Woman
When l was with her, l ddn't wanna run
What happened then?
There was a coupe of Rangers who hadn't forgot about me
They ambushed me
Bullets flyin' everywhere
One of'em found Beth.
Last thing she ever said to me was, "Don't never pick up no gun again "
So far...
Well , at least till today...
I done what she asked.
But for fellas like me and you, we are what we are
lf you truly love somethin' or somebody, Laundry Man...
you get as far away from 'em as poss be
'Cause we're sand.
They're flowers.
(door opens)
These are yours
These are to kill
Come
Closer
Here
Remember these places.
Fastest way to kill your enemy.
I will remember.
(bell clanging)
(whimpering)
(laughter)
(man) Company charge!
(shouting and whooping)
0h...(whimpers)
(shouting and whooping continues)
(gunshot)
(men scream, horses whinnying)
(men groaning and coughing)
(sword rings, pistols cock)
Hey! (sword ringing, wet impacts)
What the hell? Agh!
(men sputtering and choking)
Come on! (men shouting)
(steam whistle toots)
(machinery whirs calliope plays)
(spooky laughter)
(men screaming)
Whoo!
Get up there! Everybody, up there!
(men shouting)
Come on men! Agh!
(screams)
Get him, down there!
Get down
(Colonel) Shoot them!
Ah!
(men shouting indistinctly)
0kay, let's get out of here
Shoot them!
Shit
(man) Dynamte! Run foryour lives
Take cover!
Ya - hoo!
Shit! We did it!
(all cheer)
(gunshot all gasp)
They hit Jacques!
Come on! Back to town!
(indistnct shouting)
Come on. (gunshots)
Let's close this damn circus down! Burn it!
(screaming)
Come on!
(rifle cocks)
(gunshot, crow caws)
Kill
Run.
Hey, come on! Into the hotel!
Keep low!
(men screaming)
Get them!
(indistnct shoutng and gunfire)
Here! Take her!
Skinny
(gunshots, April cries)
(Eight- Ball wheezing and grunting)
l...l couldnt protect April.
(April crying in distance)
Guardthe ha way
And don't let a damn soul into this room
(distant gunfire)
(sword tip dragging)
What the.....
(chokes and sputters)
Agh!
(sword tip dragging)
0ne more step, and she's soup.
l said stop
(both grunting)
Yah
Agh!
That sure is a purty scar I gave you.
Agh! Ooh!
Ooh! Ugh!
I'll see you n Hell , tte girl (chuckles)
Wear someth ng nasty ( laughs)
Yaah!
Is this the new life you have found?
Funny
Look much like the old one
Do you think you will tell her that you kill her mother
her father and her entire clan?
She is the enemy
She will always be the enemy
You came to me to be strong
l have made you the strongest
Kill her now.
You do not beong here.
I do.
I did.
You have the perfect body for an assassin.
but the heart of a prest.
Your heart will become your biggest enemy.
You must kill your bggest enemy.
We are assassins
All that we love we will destroy
You are assassin
All that you love you'll destroy
Did we win?
We survived
Some of us
I'm not goin' with you Am l?
I guess that's the end of them
No
It is just the beginning
What about the baby? She gonna be safe?
They are stening for this to cry.
Not her.
That's right, Sand Man
Keep wakin'
The warrior walked away.
And legend has it, he never stopped walkln',
always making sure to keep as much dlstance as possible
between himself and the little gal he loved
(woman singing operatically)
How much?
Free
(singing continues)