>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN
ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS
GUESTS -
SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS -
ANGELA BASSET --
COMEDIAN ISABEL HAGEN AND
FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS
CREW
>> Questlove: 1223
>> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS!
WOW.
THANK YOU!
I LOVE YOU
I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO
"THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYONE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE
THANK YOU FOR --
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING,
EVERYBODY.
YOU GUYS, WE'RE SO GLAD HE'S
HERE
BERNIE SANDERS IS MY GUEST
TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
SENATOR --
AND THIS IS NICE
BACKSTAGE HE SAID THAT HE
WATCHES ME EVERY NIGHT WHEN HE
GETS UP TO PEE
ISN'T THAT NICE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO --
I THOUGHT THAT WAS -
LAST NIGHT WAS
SUPER TUESDAY 2.0, AND IT WAS
A ROUGH ONE FOR BERNIE
THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAD A WORSE
NIGHT WAS "THE BACHELOR"'S MOM,
BARB
OH, MY GOD
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: WELL, GUYS, EVERYONE
IS STILL TALKING ABOUT THE
CORONAVIRUS.
NOW LISTEN TO THIS
I SAW THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS
NOW APPOINTED TREASURY
SECRETARY STEVE MNUCHIN TO
HANDLE CORONAVIRUS RELIEF
TALKS.
CAN WE SEE STEVE MNUCHIN
YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
DON'T WORRY, EVERYBODY
OUR FUTURE IS NOW IN THE HANDS
OF ADULT McLOVIN
SO EVERYTHING --
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
OF COURSE, THE AIRLINE INDUSTRY
IS ALSO IN TROUBLE, BUT I READ
THAT SOME YOUNG PEOPLE ARE
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF CHEAP
FLIGHTS AND BOOKING TRIPS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NO
IN ONE ARTICLE, A GIRL ACTUALLY
SAID, "IF I DIE, I DIE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
MEANWHILE, THAT'S ALSO THE
SLOGAN FOR SPIRIT AIRLINES
AND THAT'S JUST --
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S BAD
>> Steve: THAT'S NOT TRUE.
>> Jimmy: AND NOW A STATE OF
EMERGENCY HAS BEEN DECLARED IN
OVER A DOZEN STATES INCLUDING
MASSACHUSETTS.
THAT'S IN ADDITION TO THE ONE
ALREADY IN PLACE OVER TOM BRADY
POSSIBLY LEAVING THE PATRIOTS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THIS IS SERIOUS.
THERE HASN'T BEEN A STATE OF
EMERGENCY IN MASSACHUSETTS
SINCE A STARBUCKS OPENED ACROSS
THE STREET FROM DUNKIN' DONUTS
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
AND NOW A LOT OF TV SHOWS ARE
MAKING CHANGES IN RESPONSE TO
THE CORONAVIRUS.
CHECK OUT THE BEGINNING OF
"THE VIEW" TODAY
THIS IS REAL
WHY, HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, AND
WELCOME TO "THE VIEW," Y'ALL
WELCOME TO "THE VIEW."
>> Jimmy: THERE'S NOBODY THERE
AND IT'S STILL WAY TOO LOUD.
WHAT -- HOW --
[ LAUGHTER ]
LISTEN TO THIS
BECAUSE OF THE VIRUS, COACHELLA
HAS BEEN PUSHED BACK TO THE
FALL
[ AUDIENCE AWS ]
NO COACHELLA
NO SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST.
NO SPRING BREAK TRIPS.
PRETTY SOON INSTAGRAM'S JUST
GONNA BE HOMEMADE OMELETS AND
THE SHRUG EMOJI.
[ LAUGHTER ]
MEANWHILE, IN THE UK, AN
AMUSEMENT PARK OWNER FILLED
A CLAW MACHINE WITH TOILET
PAPER AND HAND SANITIZER
[ LAUGHTER ]
UNFORTUNATELY, EVERYONE WHO
TOUCHED THE SAME JOYSTICK HAS
NOW BEEN QUARANTINED TO INSIDE
THE CLAW MACHINE
[ LAUGHTER ]
"GET ME OUT!
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
GUYS, THE CDC IS SAYING THAT
THEY ARE DOING EVERYTHING THEY
CAN TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE ARE
STAYING HEALTHY RIGHT NOW.
AND TO GET THEIR TIPS OUT
THERE, THEY'VE EVEN BEEN
WRITING SOME SONGS
>> Tariq: OH, HERE WE GO
>> Jimmy: WHAT, TARIQ?
>> Steve: LET ME GUESS
YOU'RE GOING TO LIST A WHOLE
BUNCH OF SONG TITLES THAT ARE
REALLY JUST JOKES ABOUT WASHING
YOUR HANDS AND STAYING HEALTHY
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, YEAH, THAT
WAS THE PLAN
>> Steve: AND THEN EACH ONE
WILL POP UP AS, LIKE, A GRAPHIC
SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT AND
LAUGH ABOUT IT
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: RIGHT.
>> Tariq: YEAH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Tariq: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW
THIS WILL GO
OKAY, THE SCREEN IS GONNA LOOK
SOMETHING LIKE A BILLBOARD
CHART.
AND THEN IT'S GOING TO BE, I
DON'T KNOW, TITLED SOMETHING
LIKE "CDC SONG."
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN UNDERNEATH THAT, IT
WILL LIST THINGS LIKE, "OLD
TOWN SOAP" AND -
[ LAUGHTER ]
"SNOT GIRL SUMMER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, AND "DON'T WANT TO GET
SICKO MODE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND "STUPID BUGS," STUFF LIKE
THAT
OH, AND FINALLY, "I CAN'T TOUCH
MY FACE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IS THAT HOW IT'S GOING TO GO
>> Jimmy: YOU NAILED IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: THOUGHT SO
>> Jimmy: BUT YOU MISSED ONE
THING.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE --
>> Steve: HOLD ON.
HOLD ON.
LET ME GUESS
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU WERE GOING TO SING "CAN'T
TOUCH MY FACE.
AND THEN THE LYRICS WERE GONNA
BE SOMETHING LIKE --
♪ I CAN'T TOUCH M
FACE OR I'LL GET FLU
AND CORONA
AND CORONA ♪
♪ I CAN'T TOUCH MY FACE
WHAT WILL I DO
I'LL BUY SOME LYSO
AND SOME CLOROX ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YEAH
THOSE ARE THE LYRICS
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: RIGHT.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DO
THAT BIT
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
WE WON'T
TARIQ TROTTER, EVERYONE.
THANK YOU, TARIQ
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GUYS THE BEST.
THAT'S NICE OF HIM
WELL, GUYS, AS I SAID, LAST
NIGHT WAS "THE BACHELOR"
FINALE
DID YOU GUYS WATCH IT?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT WAS GOOD.
SO IT WAS THE FINALE
AND SO IF YOU DON'T KNOW IT,
THIS IS A SPOILER.
WHATEVER YOU KNOW.
BUT IF YOU DON'T, THAT'S YOUR
FAULT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PETE -- PETER GOT ENGAGED TO
HANNAH ANN, WHICH IS MY CHOICE
I THINK THAT WAS THE WAY TO GO
YEAH, AND THAT'S THE ONE THE
MOM WAS ALL UPSET ABOUT.
SHE REALLY LOVED HANNAH ANN.
BUT THEN AFTER A MONTH OF BEING
ENGAGED, HE DUMPED HER
[ AUDIENCE OOHS
YEAH
AND THEN HE CHOSE -- WHAT'S HER
NAME
[ AUDIENCE RESPONDS
MADISON.
HE CHOSE MADISON
YEAH
ANYWAYS, PETER'S MOM DID NOT
LIKE THE CHOICE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I THINK SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS ON
A DIFFERENT REALITY SHOW
BECAUSE AT ONE POINT, SHE HIT
A BUTTON AND HER CHAIR TURNED
AROUND
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO ANYWAYS, SO PETER AND
HANNAH ANN GOT ENGAGED AND
AFTER ONE MONTH PETER DECIDED
TO CALL IT OFF
FRIENDS KNEW THAT THERE WAS
TROUBLE EIGHT HOURS INTO THE
ENGAGEMENT WHEN PETER
AUDITIONED TO BE ON "LOVE IS
BLIND.
>> Steve: WOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, PETER
AND HANNAH ANN'S ENGAGEMENT
LASTED ONE MONTH
COME ON.
TRUMP'S HAD CHIEF OF STAFFS
LAST LONGER THAN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SERIOUSLY, ONE MONTH
THE ENTIRE SEASON OF
"THE BACHELOR" LASTED LONGER
THAN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ONE MONTH?
THAT'S NOT AN ENGAGEMENT
THAT'S A QUARANTINE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SOME BUSINESS NEWS, I SAW THAT
McDONALD'S IS NOW SELLING TWO
NEW SIZES OF BIG MAC
THERE IS THE LITTLE MAC WITH
ONE PATTY, AND THE DOUBLE MACK
WITH FOUR PATTIES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
AND THIS IS COOL, THEY'RE
ALREADY MAKING A LITTLE MAC,
DOUBLE MAC MOVIE STARRING
KEVIN HART AND DWAYNE JOHNSON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ISN'T THAT AMAZING
I'D GO SEE IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I LOVE THAT.
>> Steve: BEAUTIFUL.
>> Jimmy: GET THIS
HOSTESS IS RELEASING NEW ICED
LATTES FLAVORED LIKE THEIR
SNACK CAKES.
LIKE TWINKIES, DING DONGS, AND
SNOWBALLS.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THEY'RE CAFFEINATED SO NOW
YOU'LL BE WIDE AWAKE FOR YOUR
HEART ATTACK
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THIS IS INTERESTING.
I READ THAT WHEN IT COMES TO
MEN'S COLOGNE, CITRUS AND
FLORALS ARE BECOMING MORE
POPULAR.
THERE'S ACTUALLY A BRAND-NEW
SCENT THAT'S SWEEPING THE
NATION RIGHT NOW
CHECK THIS OUT
>> RARE, BOLD, SEDUCTIVE
A NEW FRAGRANCE YOU SIMPLY
CAN'T IGNORE
YOU'LL WANT TO COVER YOURSELF
IN IT EVERYWHERE YOU GO.
INTRODUCING PURLEE BY DIOR
[ LAUGHTER ]
AVAILABLE FOR MEN AND WOMEN AND
ESPECIALLY PEOPLE OVER 70.
$1,000 AT MACY'S
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: AND FINALLY,
EVERYONE
WILDLIFE OFFICIALS IN WISCONSIN
HAD TO RESCUE A SKUNK THAT GOT
HIS HEAD STUCK IN A SOUP CAN
[ AUDIENCE AWS ]
TAKE A LOOK.
AW
[ AUDIENCE AWS ]
AFTERWARDS, THE SKUNK WAS LIKE,
"YOU IDIOTS, THAT WAS MY FACE
MASK
DON'T YOU REALIZE WE'RE LIVING
THROUGH A PANDEMIC!?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
LEAVE ME ALONE."
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: WE HAVE A FUN SHOW
TONIGHT.
SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS IS HERE
>> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: THIS EVENING
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
ALSO, THE GREAT ANGELA BASSETT
IS HERE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND WE HAVE GREAT STAND-UP FROM
ISABEL HAGEN, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GUYS, I'M VERY EXCITED
THE TRAILER FOR THE NEW
BEASTIE BOYS MOVIE IS ABOUT TO
PREMIER TONIGHT.
I LOVE THE BEASTIE BOYS SO
MUCH
IT IS CALLED
"BEASTIE BOYS STORY.
MIKE D AND AD-ROCK ARE ACTUALLY
COMING ON IN A FEW WEEKS
SO IS SPIKE JONZE, WHO DIRECTED
THIS
AND I LOVE ALL THREE OF THOSE
GUYS
I JUST -- I LOVE EVERYONE.
I JUST -- GOSH, I LOVE THEM SO
MUCH
SO, IN HONOR OF THAT, THEY'RE
LETTING US DEBUT A SNEAK PEEK
OF THE TRAILER ON OUR SHOW
RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS "BEASTIE BOYS STORY.
>> READY
♪ NOW HERE'S A LITTLE
STORY THAT I GOT TO TELL
ABOUT THREE BAD BROTHERS
THAT YOU KNOW SO WELL ♪
♪ IT STARTED WAY BACK I
HISTORY WITH AD-ROCK
MCA AND MIKE D ♪
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> HELLO, EVERYONE
>> WHAT WE GONNA DO RIGHT HERE
IS GO BACK, WAY BACK
BACK INTO TIME
♪
>> THE BEASTIE BOYS.
>> THE BEASTIE BOYS!
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: COME ON!
>> Steve: COME ON.
>> Jimmy: WHO IS COOLER?
WHO IS COOLER THAN THE
BEASTIE BOYS
I CANNOT WAIT.
YOU CAN SEE THE FULL TRAILER
RIGHT NOW ON THE APPLE TV APP.
I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THOSE
GUYS
SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
LETTING US WATCH THAT SHOW,
EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GUYS, THERE'S A LOT OF
INFORMATION FLOATING AROUND OUT
THERE ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS AND
IT'S LEADING TO A LOT OF
MISINFORMATION
SO WE THOUGHT WE'D TRY AND
CLEAR SOME THINGS UP FOR YOU
IT'S TIME FOR CORONAVIRUS FACTS
VERSUS FICTION
♪ FACTS
FACTS OVER FICTION ♪
>> Jimmy: LET'S GET STARTED.
FIRST UP WE HAVE FACT.
TO STAY CLEAN USE HAND
SANITIZER THAT'S AT LEAST 60%
ALCOHOL.
FICTION, TO STAY CALM MAKE
COCKTAILS THAT ARE AT LEAST 60%
ALCOHOL.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
>> Steve: THAT'S FICTION
>> Jimmy: NEXT UP WE HAVE FACT,
YOU SHOULD AVOID CROWDS.
FICTION, RADIO SHACK AND SEARS
ARE NOW CONSIDERED
INTERNATIONAL SAFE ZONES
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: WOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
NOT TRUE
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE
FACT, THE MOST SIMILAR ILLNESS
TO THE CORONAVIRUS IS THE
1918 SPANISH FLU
FICTION, OR AS BERNIE SANDERS
PUT IT, WORST SUMMER EVER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
NEXT UP, FACT.
AVOID CLOSE CONTACT WITH PEOPLE
WHO ARE NAUSEOUS, STAGGERING
ABOUT, AND MUMBLING TO
THEMSELVES INCOHERENTLY.
FICTION, IN OTHER WORDS, STAY
HOME ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: DON'T DO IT.
COME ON.
>> Jimmy: HERE'S ONE
FACT, WASH YOUR HANDS FOR TWO
"HAPPY BIRTHDAYS."
FICTION, IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU
SING IT OUT LOUD WHILE HOLDING
EYE CONTACT WITH WHOEVER'S
WAITING FOR THE SINK
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪
>> Jimmy: HERE IS ANOTHER FACT
IT STARTED IN A PROVINCE IN
CHINA.
FICTION, IT ENDS WHEN
NICHOLAS CAGE FINDS A MONKEY
SKULL WITH GEMSTONE EYES
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
IT'S FICTION
[ APPLAUSE ]
FINALLY, FACT, YOU SHOULD BUY
SOME DISINFECTANT AND HAND
SANITIZER.
FICTION, YOU SHOULD GO TO
COSTCO, CLIMB ON TOP OF TOILET
PAPER AND SCREAM, "I'M THE
CAPTAIN NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR
"FACT VERSUS FICTION."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS,
EVERYONE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
A SENATOR FROM THE GREAT STATE
OF VERMONT
HE IS ALSO RUNNING AS
A DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE FOR
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA
PLEASE WELCOME SENATOR
BERNIE SANDERS
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK
WELCOME BACK TO OUR SHOW
BOTH BROOKLYN KIDS, SO I
APPRECIATE YOU COMING BACK ON
THE SHOW
>> MY PLEASURE
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
>> I'M FEELING GOOD.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> COULD FEEL BETTER
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OKAY
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
LAST NIGHT PROBABLY DID NOT GO
AS PLANNED
>> NO, IT DID NOT.
WE WON ONE STATE
WE ARE IN THE LEAD IN THE
SECOND STATE UP FOR GRABS, LAST
NIGHT.
THE STATE OF WASHINGTON WITH
ABOUT TWO-THIRDS OF THE VOTES
CAST
BUT WE LOST SOME IMPORTANT
STATES
>> Jimmy: SO WHERE IS YOUR HEAD
AT RIGHT NOW
>> WELL, MY HEAD IS AT THAT --
WE HAVE INTRODUCED AN AGENDA,
JIMMY, THAT I THINK THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE NOW SUPPORT,
AND WHAT POLL AFTER POLL SHOWS
IS THAT PEOPLE SUPPORT RAISING
THE MINIMUM WAGE TO A LIVING
WAGE
PEOPLE NOW UNDERSTAND,
ESPECIALLY WITH THE
CORONAVIRUS, THAT IT IS INSANE
THAT WE LIVE IN A NATION IN
WHICH 87 MILLION AMERICANS ARE
UNINSURED OR UNDERINSURED AND
CAN'T GET TO A DOCTOR WHEN THEY
SHOULD
THAT WE NEED A MEDICARE FOR ALL
SINGLE PAYER PROGRAM
PEOPLE GOT THAT.
PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT IN THIS
DAY AND AGE, IF YOU ARE GOING
TO MAKE IT INTO THE MIDDLE
CLASS, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO
GO TO COLLEGE, REGARDLESS OF
YOUR INCOME.
OR GO TO A TRADE SCHOOL.
THAT WE GOT TO MAKE PUBLIC
COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES
TUITION FREE
I THINK PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT
DESPITE TRUMP'S NONSENSE,
CLIMATE CHANGE IS A REAL,
EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO OUR
PLANET
WE GOT TO TAKE ON THE FOSSIL
FUEL INDUSTRY.
WE GOT TO TRANSFORM THE
COUNTRY.
ON ALL OF THOSE ISSUES, WE HAVE
SUCCEEDED, I THINK, IN BRINGING
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE INTO A
A PROGRESSIVE AGENDA
WHAT WE HAVE ALSO DONE, AND I'M
ENORMOUSLY PROUD OF THIS, IS --
IS IN POLL AFTER POLL AND
ELECTION AFTER ELECTION, WE WIN
THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF
YOUNG PEOPLE
THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF THIS
COUNTRY ARE ON OUR SIDE.
TRUTH IS BIDEN DOES VERY, VERY
WELL WITH OLDER PEOPLE, AND
THEY VOTE.
YOUNG PEOPLE DON'T VOTE AS MUCH
AS I WOULD LIKE.
BUT THE FUTURE OF THIS COUNTRY
BELIEVES IN A PROGRESSIVE
AGENDA WHICH SAYS THAT WE NEED
A GOVERNMENT AND AN ECONOMY
THAT WORKS FOR ALL, NOT JUST A
A FEW.
THAT WE HAVE TO OVERCOME THE
RACISM AND THE SEXISM AND THE
HOMOPHOBIA AND THE XENOPHOBIA,
AND RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY THAT
WE'RE NOW EXPERIENCING
SO ON ALL OF THOSE ISSUES, WE
HAVE SUCCEEDED
WHERE WE HAVE NOT SUCCEEDED,
FRANKLY, IS THAT MOST PEOPLE
TODAY THINK THAT JOE IS MORE
ELECTABLE THAN I AM.
SO WE SEE PEOPLE SAY, "OH, WE
LOVE YOU, BERNIE
WE LOVE YOUR IDEAS," BUT I'M
GOING WITH JOE BECAUSE HE IS
MORE ELECTABLE
>> Jimmy: WHY?
WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S COMING
ACROSS AS MORE ELECTABLE
>> I MEAN, I THINK THE FACT
THAT HE WAS VICE PRESIDENT FOR
EIGHT YEARS WITH OBAMA AND
BARACK OBAMA REMAINS A VERY
POPULAR FIGURE WITHIN THE
DEMOCRATIC WORLD
I THINK THAT'S ONE THING
AND I THINK THE MEDIA HAS
PLAYED A ROLE IN THAT AS WELL.
BUT WHAT I HONESTLY BELIEVE,
AND JOE IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
WHAT I HONESTLY BELIEVE IS THAT
IN ORDER TO DEFEAT TRUMP, WE
NEED THE LARGEST VOTER TURN-OUT
IN THE HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY
TRUMP IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY
TO BEAT.
AND I THINK YOU NEED A CAMPAIGN
OF ENERGY AND EXCITEMENT
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
BRING YOUNG PEOPLE INTO THE
POLITICAL PROCESS IN A WAY WE
HAVE NOT SEEN BEFORE
AND I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO GET
THROUGH TO WORKING CLASS
PEOPLE, WHO IN MANY CASES, HAVE
GIVEN UP ON THE POLITICAL
PROCESS.
THEY DON'T VOTE ANYMORE.
THEY THINK NOBODY CARES ABOUT
THEM
YOU KNOW, THEY CAN'T AFFORD
HEALTH CARE.
CAN'T AFFORD CHILD CARE.
CAN'T AFFORD TO SEND THEIR KIDS
TO COLLEGE
IS ANYBODY WORRIED ABOUT THEM?
WELL, WE ARE
BUT THEY DON'T -- THEY'VE GONE
AND GIVEN UP AND I THINK WE ARE
THE CAMPAIGN TO BRING THOSE
FOLKS IN
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK WE CAN DO
THAT, YEAH
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK -- SAY
IT IS BIDEN, DO YOU THINK BIDEN
CAN BEAT TRUMP
>> I DO.
I MEAN, I THINK, YOU KNOW, WHEN
YOU HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO IS
A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR.
WHEN YOU HAVE A PRESIDENT --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WHEN YOU HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO
TRULY, APPARENTLY HAS NEVER
READ THE CONSTITUTION OF THE
UNITED STATES.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
WHO THINKS HE IS ABOVE THE LAW,
WHO IS A RACIST AND A SEXIST
AND ALL OF THAT STUFF, I THINK
EVEN REPUBLICANS AND MODERATES
ARE GOING TO SAY, YOU KNOW
WHAT, WE CAN'T HAVE FOUR MORE
YEARS OF THIS GUY.
SO DO I THINK JOE CAN BEAT HIM
I DO
BETWEEN YOU AND ME, DON'T TELL
ANYBODY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
>> I THINK WE'RE THE STRONGER
CAMPAIGN TO DO THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
YOU THINK YOU ARE.
YEAH
>> I DO.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT -- ARE YOU GETTING
PRESSURE FROM THE DNC FOR YOU
TO STEP DOWN AND DROP OUT?
>> WELL, THERE HAS BEEN
PRESSURE FROM DAY ONE.
YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S NO GREAT
SECRET THAT THERE WAS A LOT OF
NERVOUSNESS AT A TIME WHEN YOU
HAD PEOPLE LIKE AMY KLOBUCHAR
AND PETE BUTTIGIEG AND
BLOOMBERG, KIND OF SPLITTING
THE MORE MODERATE VOTE
SO THERE WAS AN EFFORT TO TRY
TO GET RID OF ALL OF THOSE
FOLKS.
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE THERE WAS
ALSO THAT STUFF DONALD TRUMP
HAS BEEN SAYING FOR AT LEAST A
A MONTH, THAT THE DNC IS TRYING
TO SQUASH THE SANDERS CAMPAIGN
THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO LET HIM
BE THE NOMINEE
TRUST ME, FOLKS.
DO YOU THINK THE PRESIDENT IS
RIGHT?
>> WHAT AMAZES ME, HERE WE HAVE
A STOCK MARKET THAT IS
COLLAPSING
YOU HAVE A CORONAVIRUS THAT IS
SCARING THE ENTIRE WORLD
WE HAVE CLIMATE CHANGE, WHICH
IS A THREAT TO THE HUMAN
PLANET
AND DONALD TRUMP KEEPS WORRYING
ABOUT THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SO, MR. PRESIDENT, IF YOU WATCH
ANYTHING OTHER THAN FOX, I
DON'T KNOW THAT YOU DO
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHY DON'T YOU DO YOUR JOB?
PAY ATTENTION TO THE NEEDS OF
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
DON'T WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT THE
DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: I THINK HE'S
WATCHING
I THINK HE WATCHES
SO YOU ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT YOU
ARE NOT STEPPING DOWN, AND YOU
WERE GOING TO THE DEBATE THIS
SUNDAY
>> RIGHT
>> Jimmy: AND THIS SUNDAY -- NO
AUDIENCE
>> NO AUDIENCE, RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: HOW WILL THAT AFFECT
THE WAY YOU DO A DEBATE?
IS THAT GOING TO BE DIFFERENT
FOR YOU?
>> IT WILL BE DIFFERENT.
I MEAN, ALL OF THE OTHER
DEBATES, I THINK THIS IS LIKE
THE TENTH OR THE ELEVENTH
DEBATE, HAD AUDIENCES.
BUT, IT'S OKAY
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT -- THIS
IS THE FIRST DEBATE WHERE THERE
ARE ONLY TWO PEOPLE, WHICH
MAKES IT A VERY DIFFERENT
DEBATE THAN WHEN YOU HAVE
8 PEOPLE OR 10 PEOPLE OR
WHATEVER
>> Jimmy: DID YOU HATE THOSE
THINGS -
>> I DID
>> Jimmy: -- THE GIANT DEBATES
>> IT WAS LIKE A FOOD FIGHT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND EVERYONE'S YELLING AND
SCREAMING.
AND YOU CAN'T GET ANYTHING OF
SUBSTANCE.
I THINK ON THIS DEBATE WITH TWO
PEOPLE IN TWO HOURS, YOU KNOW
WHAT, WE ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO
BE ABLE TO DISCUSS THE ISSUES
IMPACTING THE FAMILIES OF
AMERICA.
>> Jimmy: IT'S ON CNN AND
UNIVISION.
SO EVERYONE TUNE IN FOR THAT
MORE WITH BERNIE SANDERS WHEN
WE COME BACK, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
MORE WITH THE SENATOR.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYONE
WE ARE HERE WITH SENATOR
BERNIE SANDERS
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT
CORONAVIRUS, IF YOU DON'T MIND
I JUST DON'T KNOW AS A -- YOU
KNOW, I WATCH THE NEWS
I READ THE NEWS.
AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO TO
REALLY TRUST
I'M HEARING --
>> THAT IS THE PROBLEM THAT WE
HAVE TODAY
WE HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO IS
ANTI-SCIENCE
DOESN'T BELIEVE IN THE REALITY
OF CLIMATE CHANGE.
WHO HAS APPOINTED MIKE PENCE,
WHO IS ALSO NOT KNOWN TO BE
MUCH OF A SCIENTIST --
[ LAUGHTER ]
TO LEAD THE TASK FORCE
AND CLEARLY AT THIS MOMENT, YOU
NEED SOMEBODY YOU CAN TRUST WHO
IS GOING TO BRING TOGETHER THE
BEST SCIENTISTS, DOCTORS,
RESEARCHERS, WORK WITH THE
ENTIRE WORLD TO DO EVERYTHING
THAT WE CAN TO HALT THIS
TERRIBLE PANDEMIC.
AND I THINK, CLEARLY, THERE ARE
SOME THINGS WE HAVE TO DO RIGHT
AWAY
THE IDEA THAT WE HAVE SO MANY
OF OUR PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY,
THE ONLY COUNTRY ON EARTH --
MAJOR COUNTRY, THAT DOESN'T
GUARANTEE HEALTHCARE TO ALL
PEOPLE, WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE
THAT EVERYBODY RIGHT NOW FEELS
FREE WHEN YOU ARE SICK TO GO TO
A DOCTOR REGARDLESS OF YOUR
INCOME
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
THE GOVERNMENT WILL PAY THAT
BILL
NUMBER TWO, WE ARE THE ONLY
MAJOR COUNTRY ON EARTH NOT TO
GUARANTEE PAID MEDICAL LEAVE
SO IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, THERE
ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE SICK TODAY
WHO MAY ACTUALLY BELIEVE THEY
HAVE SYMPTOMS OF THE
CORONAVIRUS WHO ARE GOING TO
WORK BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO
INCOME
THEY'RE MAKING 12, 13 BUCKS AN
HOUR
THEY'VE GOT TO FEED THEIR
FAMILIES
THEY GO TO WORK.
WE HAVE GOT TO DO WHAT EVERY
OTHER COUNTRY ON EARTH DOES AND
GUARANTEED PAID FAMILY AND
MEDICAL LEAVE AND DO IT RIGHT
NOW ON AN EMERGENCY BASIS.
THERE WAS A DISCUSSION
RECENTLY -- THERE IS A LOT OF
WORK BEING DONE GLOBALLY IN
TERMS OF A VACCINE
AND THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
WAS SAYING, "WELL, WE CAN'T
GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL BE
AFFORDABLE
GOT TO WORRY ABOUT THE DRUG
COMPANIES.
WELL, THAT IS A CROCK.
THAT IS RIDICULOUS
WE HAVE GOT TO MAKE SURE THAT
WHEN THAT VACCINE COMES OUT, IT
IS AVAILABLE TO EVERYBODY IN
THIS COUNTRY REGARDLESS OF
THEIR INCOME
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: MIKE PENCE BEING IN
CHARGE OF THIS IS VERY
INTERESTING TO A LOT OF PEOPLE
BECAUSE THEY THINK HE'S GOING
TO BE -- TAKE THE FALL FROM
THIS, TAKE THE HIT, BECAUSE
THIS IS A DISASTER, I THINK.
AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO SAY
THAT TRUMP IS GOING TO HAVE
NIKKI HALEY ON THE TICKET
IN 2020.
WHAT ARE YOU HEARING OVER IN
YOUR -
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S IS
OPENLY THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES' RESPONSIBILITY.
AND WHY YOU WOULD APPOINT
A VICE PRESIDENT TO LEAD THIS
WHOSE OWN PARTICULAR RECORD
WITH REGARD TO SCIENCE, WITH
REGARD TO THE HIV VIRUS, HAS
BEEN PRETTY PATHETIC
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO GIVE
CONFIDENCE TO THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE IS BRING THE BEST MINDS
IN THE COUNTRY, IN THE WORLD
TOGETHER
AS A LEADER, THAT'S WHAT YOU
CAN BE DOING
AND DON'T MAKE THIS INTO
POLITICS
DON'T START ATTACKING
DEMOCRATS.
THAT IS NOT ONLY ABSURD, IT IS
DEMORALIZING FOR THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE
>> Jimmy: LAST TIME WE TALKED
YOUR FACE LIT UP WHEN I
MENTIONED YOUR GRANDKIDS
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY GRANDKIDS DO
YOU HAVE
>> I HAVE SEVEN VERY BEAUTIFUL
GRANDCHILDREN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: HOW OLD IS THE OLDEST
GRANDKID
LIKE, 60
63
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> CLOSE
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> SHE'S 16.
>> Jimmy: SO SHE KNOWS WHAT'S
GOING ON IN THE WORLD AND KNOWS
THE ISSUES AND WHAT THE
PRESIDENT DOES
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: SHE PROBABLY HAS
OPINIONS
SHE CAN'T VOTE BUT SHE HAS
OPINIONS
>> YEAH, WE DRAG THEM OUT TO A
A WHOLE LOT OF RALLIES
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO THEY WANT?
WHAT IS THEIR CONCERN?
AND WHAT IS THE FUTURE FOR OUR
GRANDKIDS?
>> I THINK, YOU KNOW, AND ONE
OF THE REASONS THAT I'M RUNNING
FOR PRESIDENT IS FOR MY
GRANDCHILDREN AND FOR KIDS ALL
OVER THIS COUNTRY AND ALL OVER
THE WORLD.
AND YOU KNOW, AS THE RICHEST
COUNTRY IN THE HISTORY OF THE
WORLD, JIMMY, YOU DON'T HEAR
THIS MUCH ON TELEVISION, BUT
THERE SHOULD NOT BE A HALF A
A MILLION PEOPLE SLEEPING OUT
ON THE STREETS OF AMERICA
TONIGHT.
HALF OF OUR PEOPLE SHOULD NOT
LIVE PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK.
87 MILLION SHOULD NOT LACK THE
HEALTH CARE THAT THEY NEED
ALL OF OUR KIDS DESERVE QUALITY
EDUCATION REGARDLESS OF THE ZIP
CODE THAT YOU LIVE IN.
WE SHOULD LEAD THE WORLD IN
COMBATTING CLIMATE CHANGE.
WE'VE GOT TO END THE RACIST AND
BROKEN CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM
AND A COMPLETELY
DISCOMBOBULATED IMMIGRATION
SYSTEM WHERE PEOPLE ARE
TERRORIZED TODAY -- THEY'RE
GOING TO BE PICKED UP BY I.C.E
THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE DONE IN
THIS COUNTRY
AND WE ARE THE RICHEST COUNTRY
IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD,
BUT WE'VE GOT TO DEAL WITH THIS
GREED THAT'S OUT THERE
IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE THAT THREE
PEOPLE OWN MORE WEALTH THAN THE
BOTTOM HALF OF AMERICA
IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE THAT THE
TOP 1% OWNS MORE WEALTH THAN
THE BOTTOM 92%
LOOK, NO ONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH
PEOPLE BEING RICH.
BUT WE HAVE GOT TO ADDRESS NOT
ONLY THIS INCREDIBLE AND UNFAIR
DISTRIBUTION OF INCOME AND
WEALTH
IT'S ALSO POWER.
IT IS BILLIONAIRES EXERTING
UNBELIEVABLE POLITICAL
INFLUENCE.
THEY BUY AND SELL POLITICIANS.
THEY MAKE HUGE CAMPAIGN
CONTRIBUTIONS.
IF WE HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT WE
ARE A DEMOCRACY, WE GOT TO END
BILLIONAIRE RULE IN THIS
COUNTRY AND CREATE AN ECONOMY
AND A GOVERNMENT THAT WORKS FOR
ALL OF US.
THAT'S WHAT WE'VE GOT TO DO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: SENATOR
BERNIE SANDERS
SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS, THANK
YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: ANGELA BASSETT JOINS
US AFTER THE BREAK
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN
OSCAR AND EMMY NOMINATED
ACTRESS WHO STARS IN THE FOX
SERIES "9-1-1.
SEASON THREE RETURNS WITH NEW
EPISODES THIS MONDAY AT
8:00P.M.
PLEASE WELCOME ANGELA BASSET
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: COME ON.
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE ONE OF MY
FAVORITES.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING
BACK ON THE SHOW
>> THANK YOU
GLAD TO BE HERE.
>> Jimmy: I APPRECIATE IT.
YOU WERE -- HOW IS EVERYTHING
ONSET OF "BLACK PANTHER 2" BY
THE WAY?
>> GOING ALONG
COMING ALONG
AMAZING.
ABSOLUTELY
>> Jimmy: YOU WERE TELLING ME
BACKSTAGE THAT THEY DECIDED TO
CHANGE THE COSTUME OF
BLACK PANTHER.
>> JIMMY, I WAS TELLING YOU
THAT IN CONFIDENCE
YOU ARE -- YOU CANNOT.
>> Jimmy: I WAS JUST JOKING, BY
THE WAY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I JUST WANT TO GET YOU IN
TROUBLE.
>> I KNOW.
AND I BET I AM IN TROUBLE.
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT NOTHING
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT
ANYTHING
YOU KNOW NOTHING
>> I HAVE NOTHING TO TALK
ABOUT.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW WE HAVE GUESTS
ON THE SHOW FROM THESE MARVEL
MOVIES AND THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO TALK AT ALL
SO I'M LIKE, "ALL RIGHT.
BUT ANYWAYS --
>> WE'RE NOT
>> Jimmy: I KNOW
IT IS GONNA BE -- YEAH,
EXACTLY.
BUT, MAN, OH, MAN, EVERYONE
CANNOT WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL
AND I'M JUST SO --
ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
I WANT YOU TO COME BACK SO WE
CAN TALK ABOUT THIS.
>> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: HOW IS YOUR HUSBAND?
COURTNEY B. VANCE.
>> HE'S DOING GREAT.
>> Jimmy: ONE OF MY FAVES OF
ALL TIME
>> HE SAYS "HELLO" TO YOU.
HIS BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW
>> Jimmy: OH, HOW OLD?
>> 6-0
>> Jimmy: IS HE 60
>> 6-0
>> Jimmy: HE LOOKS FANTASTIC
ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING BIG
ANYTHING GIANT FOR COURTNEY?
>> YOU KNOW, HE'S HARD TO TOP
BECAUSE HE'S SUCH A PLANNER AND
I'M SO NOT
I'M MORE SPONTANEOUS
SO, I GOT TO COME UP WITH
SOMETHING.
MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME IDEAS FOR
ME
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID HE DO FOR
YOU?
DID HE -
>> WELL, HE GAVE ME A PARTY AND
WONDERFUL PEOPLE WERE THERE.
SNOOP WAS THERE.
I DANCED WITH HIM.
HE DANCED WITH EVERYONE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT
>> AMONG OTHER THINGS.
>> Jimmy: LIKE, OH MY GOSH
HE -- OH, YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, WHEN YOU INVITE HIM, HE
COMES -- HE'S ALMOST LIKE --
>> OH HE BROUGHT THE LOVE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
>> AND THE JOY
AND THE JOY.
>> Jimmy: AND THE JOY AS WELL,
YEAH
>> AND THE PEACE, RIGHT.
JOHN LEGEND SURPRISED ME
>> Jimmy: WHAT
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE
>> CAME AND SANG "HAPPY
BIRTHDAY."
>> Jimmy: HE'S BOOKED --
>> OH, YEAH.
COURTNEY DOES IT
>> Jimmy: COME ON.
HE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT.
>> HE DOES
>> Jimmy: WE GOT TO TALK ABOUT
THIS BECAUSE I'M VERY EXCITED
ABOUT THIS
YOU ARE GOING TO BE A WAX
FIGURE IN MADAME TUSSAUDS WAX
MUSEUM
THAT IS A GIANT DEAL
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
>> I'M THRILLED.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
I GOT A CALL AND THEY SAID, "WE
WANTED TO MAKE -- TURN YOU INTO
A DUMMY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PEOPLE WANNA SEE IT.
>> Jimmy: YOU GO, "FINALLY."
>> THAT WOULD BE GREAT BECAUSE
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT
YOU KNOW, OF COURSE YOU THINK
OF, YOU KNOW, AN OSCAR, AN
EMMY, THAT SORT OF THING
BUT YOU NEVER THINK, YOU KNOW,
I WANT TO BE TURNED INTO A WAX
FIGURE
BUT IT WAS EXCITING.
>> Jimmy: AND HOW WAS THE --
WHAT IS THE PROCESS?
>> IT WASN'T AS BAD AS I
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO
ENCASE ME IN SOMETHING, YOU
KNOW, WITH STRAWS OUT OF YOUR
NOSE TO BREATHE.
AND THAT IT WAS GONNA BE VERY
CLAUSTROPHOBIC
SO I WAS A LITTLE FRIGHTENED
ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I'VE DONE
THAT BEFORE.
FOR MOVIES
AND IT'S LIKE, "WHERE ARE YOU?
WHERE ARE YOU?
DON'T LEAVE ME
DON'T LEAVE ME!"
>> Jimmy: YEAH EXCEPT YOU CAN'T
MOVE YOUR LIPS IT'S LIKE -
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> "HOW LONG
15 MINUTES FEELS LIKE TWO
DAYS."
BUT IT ACTUALLY WASN'T THAT
BAD.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS ALMOST LIKE
MOTION CAPTURE WHEN THEY DO,
YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW -
>> Jimmy: CGI AND ALL THAT
>> THEY PUT THE DOTS ON YOUR
FACE
THEY MEASURE FROM CHEEK TO EAR
AND EYE TO EYE AND EAR TO EAR
AND CHIN TO THIS AND THEY DO
YOUR HANDS
THEY PUT YOU ON SORT OF LIKE A
A LAZY SUSAN AND TURN YOU
AROUND
YOU HAVE TO HOLD YOUR POSE, YOU
KNOW
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AS THEY TURN YOU AROUND AND
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK,
CLICK.
>> Jimmy: WHAT POSE DID YOU GO
WITH, BECAUSE THAT'S A BIG
DEAL
>> I SORT OF WENT FOR SORT OF
LIKE A -- OH, OH
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, OH, YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL -
>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE
GOING TO COME UP AND DO THINGS
TO YOU, SO -
>> Jimmy: THEY DO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW.
YOU DON'T WANT THEM DOING CRAZY
THINGS TO YOU.
>> Jimmy: I MEAN NICE THINGS,
YEAH
THEY'LL BE POSING WITH YOU
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE IT
LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU.
I KNOW THAT --
>> BASICALLY LIVE FOREVER SO
>> Jimmy: IF YOU'VE EVER
GONE -
IF YOU HAVEN'T GONE, YOU SHOULD
GO
IT'S AMAZING
EVERY SINGLE ONE IS AMAZING.
I REMEMBER JUST STARING AT
GHANDI FOR, LIKE, 25 MINUTES
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
"WOW, THAT'S WHAT GHANDI BEHIND
HIS EAR LOOKS LIKE."
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE AMAZING.
BUT THE EYES ARE, LIKE, I DON'T
KNOW, THEY'RE MADE OF, LIKE,
AMAZING TYPE OF MARBLES OR
DIAMONDS
>> MARBLES, YEAH
I REMEMBER DOING -- THEY SAID,
"THESE WERE WHITNEY HOUSTON'S
EYES."
I WAS LIKE, "REALLY?
>> Jimmy: OH MY GOSH
[ LAUGHTER ]
ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'S AMAZING, RIGHT?
WHAT THEY DO
BECAUSE YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL
BECAUSE IF THEY MESS IT UP -
>> I GAVE THEM A DIRECTIVE
I WAS LIKE, "PLEASE, PLEASE
DON'T MESS ME UP."
>> Jimmy: LET ME JUST SHOW YOU
A FEW WAX FIGURES THAT WE'VE
SEEN THROUGHOUT OUR SHOW
VERY INTERESTING
YOU GUYS LIKE ZAC EFRON?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CHECK OUT ZAC'S WAX FIGURE
THERE HE IS.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
[ AUDIENCE OOHS
>> THAT -- NO THAT'S HIM
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ZAC'S -
>> THAT'S A WAX?
>> Jimmy: THAT IS JUST NOT
EVEN -- I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT
IS
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE --
YOU KNOW
>> WHOEVER HE IS
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW IDRIS ELBA?
>> I DO.
>> Jimmy: THEY MADE A --
[ CHEERS ]
THEY MADE A DOLL
THIS IS SO -- WHEN YOU SEE
THIS, YOU'LL BE LIKE, "OH, MY
GOD.
IS THAT A PHOTO OF IDRIS?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HEY
>> Jimmy: LOOKS LIKE
MONTEL WILLIAMS.
>> NOT GOOD.
HE DOES.
>> Jimmy: IT DOES, RIGHT
DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IDRIS AT ALL
ANYWAYS, THAT'S WHY I'M SAYING
BE CAREFUL
THE LAST ONE -
>> HE'S SO SKINNY.
>> Jimmy: THAT MADE ME LAUGH
WAS LUCIELLE BALL.
LEGEND
THEY MADE A BRONZE STATUE OF
LUCIELLE BALL AND SHE'S ONE OF
MY HEROES.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH AND YOU DON'T
WANNA -- HERE IT IS.
>> ONE FUNNY LADY.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS A STATUE OF
LUCIELLE BALL.
>> WE'VE SEEN HER FOR YEARS.
>> Jimmy: YES.
[ AUDIENCE OOHS
AND THEY GOT IT SO WRONG
[ FOG HORN ]
THAT IS THE WORST.
>> Jimmy: I KNOW
THEY HAD TO FIX IT
>> IT ACTUALLY -- LOOK AT THE
EYES
THEY'RE BUG EYED
>> Jimmy: THE WHOLE THING IS
INSANE
>> THE TEETH
I KEPT MY MOUTH CLOSED
I DON'T WANT THEM MESSING UP
TEETH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH
MADAME TUSSAUD, DO NOT MESS
THIS -
>> THEY WILL MESS UP TEETH
>> Jimmy: BEAUTIFUL FACE UP.
PLEASE
CAN YOU TELL ME QUICKLY THE
STORY ABOUT MEETING LIZZO?
>> OH, YES
I WAS JUST UP FOR AN NAACP
IMAGE AWARD.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
CONGRATS ON THAT
>> THANK YOU
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND SHE -- THANK YOU
SHE AND I WERE -- SHE, I AND A
A FEW OTHER FOLK WERE UP FOR
ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR.
YOU KNOW, SO INCREDIBLE PEOPLE
BUT SHE, YOU KNOW, TOPS THEM
ALL.
SHE'S HAD AN INCREDIBLE YEAR
I WAS LIKE, "AH, LIZZO'S
GETTING THAT
LIZZO IS GETTING THAT ALL DAY,
EVERY DAY AND TWICE ON SUNDAY.
SHE'S GETTING IT."
I VOTE FOR LIZZO IF I VOTE
AND SO I GET THERE
I ASKED A FRIEND OF MINE, YOU
KNOW, SHE'S GOING TO BE THERE.
I'M SO EXCITED
I'M GOING BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE
LIZZO.
AND HE SAID, "NO, SHE'S NOT
GOING TO BE THERE.
SHE'S GONNA BE IN JAPAN
PERFORMING."
I WAS LIKE -
OKAY
SO I'M ON THE CARPET TALKING TO
ONE OF THE REPORTERS AND HE'S
LIKE, "OH, YES,
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU ARE HERE
YOU ARE UP WITH LIZZO AND THERE
SHE IS
I WAS LIKE, "WHAT!
THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: AND YOU WENT TO SAY
HI TO HER.
I WAS LIKE -- AND SO SHE CAME
UP
WE EMBRACED.
>> Jimmy; WE ACTUALLY HAVE A
A PHOTO OF YOU DOING THAT,
SEEING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME.
YOU ARE LIKE -
>> OH, YES
>> Jimmy: OH
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU'RE LIKE, "HI, WE GOTTA
TALK."
AND YOU GOT TO HANG OUT WITH
HER?
>> YEAH.
OH, YES.
>> Jimmy: THERE'S YOU AND HER.
>> SHE'S A DELIGHT
AND A COUPLE HOURS BEFORE THAT,
MY DAUGHTER AND I WERE JUST
SINGING HER SONG IN THE CAR,
YOU KNOW, TOP OF OUR LUNGS
>> Jimmy: SHE'S COOL
SHE'S THE COOLEST KID IN
SCHOOL
IT'S PHENOMENAL.
>> SHE'S THE BEST.
>> Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT
"9-1-1."
THIS IS SEASON THREE
>> SEASON THREE.
>> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE PHENOMENAL
IN IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CONGRATULATIONS.
I'M SO HAPPY IT'S BACK
WHO IS IT?
IT'S RYAN MURPHY AND -
>> RYAN MURPHY, BRAD FALCHUK
>> Jimmy: BRAD FALCHUK
>> TIM MINEAR.
>> Jimmy: TIM -- GOOD.
THESE ARE HEAVY HITTERS.
IT'S A GREAT SHOW.
DO YOU HAVE TO DO -- DO YOU
MEET OTHER OFFICERS AND THEN -
>> I HAVE MET.
MATT HAD SAT DOWN AND TALKED TO
THEM AND "HOW OFTEN DO YOU PULL
YOUR GUN
DO YOU HAVE TO PULL YOUR -
HAVE YOU SHOT ANYONE?"
YOU KNOW
>> Jimmy: YEAH, ASK ALL THE
QUESTIONS.
>> YOU KNOW, BECAUSE WHEN I
WENT TO THE FIRING RANGE TO
LEARN HOW TO DO THIS
>> Jimmy: REALLY
>> YEAH.
MY EYES WERE CLOSED.
LIKE, "OH, THIS JERKS.
IT SMELLS.
IT'S LOUD.
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT TO GET USED
TO ALL THAT.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU PULL IT OFF.
IT'S PHENOMENAL.
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP
HERE
HERE'S ANGELA BASSETT IN
"9-1-1."
TAKE A LOOK.
WOUND?
>> YES
FEMALE, EARLY 50s, CAME IN
COMPLAINING ABOUT HEADACHES AND
SOME DISORIENTATION.
NOW, GIVEN THE SCAR TISSUE, I'M
GOING TO ESTIMATE THIS BULLET
HAS BEEN THERE FOR TWO, MAYBE
THREE MONTHS
>> WAIT.
THIS IS AN OLD GUNSHOT WOUND
>> YES
>> WHY WASN'T IT REPORTED THE
DAY IT HAPPENED?
>> BECAUSE THAT WOMAN DIDN'T
EVEN KNOW SHE HAD BEEN SHOT.
NOT UNTIL TODAY.
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: ANGELA BASSETT
"9-1-1" AIRS MONDAYS AT
8:00 P.M. ON FOX
HAPPY BIRTHDAY COURTNEY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
STAND-UP FROM ISABEL HAGEN
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST CAN BE
SEEN AT THE STAND COMEDY CLUB
HERE IN NEW YORK MARCH 21st
AND 22nd
MAKING HER TELEVISION DEBUT,
PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY
ISABEL HAGEN
♪
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH
THANK YOU.
THANKS
IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.
I GREW UP IN NEW YORK CITY, AND
I WENT TO COLLEGE HERE, TOO.
I WENT TO JULLIARD
I PLAYED THE VIOLA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A VIOLA
IS, I'LL TELL YOU.
IT'S LIKE A VIOLIN BUT A LITTLE
BIGGER AND NOBODY CARES.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
I LIKE TELLING PEOPLE I WENT TO
JULLIARD BECAUSE THEY ACT
IMPRESSED, AND THEN I ACT
MODEST
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND I LOVE THAT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THEY'RE LIKE, "WHOA, JULLIARD.
I'M LIKE, "EH, IT'S NOTHING.
THEY'RE LIKE, "WOW, HUMBLE AND
TALENTED."
I'M LIKE, "YES
[ LAUGHTER ]
I AM PERFECT."
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S ANNOYING WHEN SOMETIMES
SOMEONE HASN'T HEARD OF
JULLIARD
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BECAUSE THEN I JUST HAVE TO
POLITELY EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT
IT'S A BIG DEAL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, WHAT'S
JULLIARD?"
I'M LIKE, "OH, IT'S JUST, YOU
KNOW, ONE OF THE BEST MUSIC
SCHOOLS.
THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, MUSIC
OH, MY NIECE PLAYS VIOLIN.
I'M LIKE, "YEAH, SHE WOULDN'T
GET IN."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WHEN I WAS NINE, I WENT TO
SOCCER CAMP, AND THAT WAS
A NIGHTMARE BECAUSE I WAS BAD
AT SPORTS.
AND I KNEW I WAS PARTICULARLY
BAD, BECAUSE AT THE CAMP,
EVERYONE WOULD CALL ME A "GOOD
SPORT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S WHERE YOU JUST ARE SO
USED TO LOSING AND IT GETS
MISTAKEN FOR A GOOD ATTITUDE
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS LIKE, "WELL, WE LOST
AGAIN.
THE COACH IS LIKE, "THIS KID
GETS IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I'M COMPETITIVE.
AND I LIKE BEING CALLED A GOOD
ANYTHING
SO GOOD SPORT, I WAS LIKE, "ALL
RIGHT.
I WILL BE THE BEST SPORT."
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND AT THE END OF THE SUMMER,
THEY GAVE OUT THESE AWARDS
AND THEY ANNOUNCED THE
SPORTSMANSHIP AWARD.
AND I WAS FULLY EXPECTING TO
GET THIS, AND I DIDN'T
SOME OTHER LOSER DID
[ LAUGHTER ]
APPARENTLY THIS QUIET GIRL
NAMED JENNY HAD BEEN MUTTERING
"GOOD GAME," THE WHOLE SUMMER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WENT UP TO HER AFTER
I WAS LIKE, "HEY,
CONGRATULATIONS.
SHE WAS LIKE, "YOU SHOULD HAVE
GOTTEN IT.
I WAS LIKE, "OH, YOU'RE GOOD,
JENNY.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I WAS WITH MY FRIEND RECENTLY
AND SHE SAID SOMETHING KIND OF
WEIRD TO ME.
SHE WAS LIKE, "ISABEL, YOU HAVE
RESTING SAD FACE."
I WAS LIKE, "OH, NO.
IT'S ACTIVE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T SMILE A LOT IN MY EVERY
DAY LIFE
I HAVE KIND OF A GOOFY SMILE
I GET SELF-CONSCIOUS
BUT I STILL WANNA GET THAT CAT
CALL, LIKE, "HEY, BABY, SMILE.
"OKAY --
THEY'RE LIKE, "NEVER MIND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I HAVE BEEN SAD.
I RECENTLY WENT THROUGH
A BREAK-UP
AND I'M SCARED TO FALL IN LOVE
AGAIN NOW BECAUSE HERE'S WHAT I
LEARNED ABOUT LOVE, ALL RIGHT.
LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT
WHEN YOU LOSE IT, YOU DOUBT IT
EVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST
PLACE.
NO ONE EVER LOSES THEIR KEYS
AND THEY'RE LIKE, "WELL, MAYBE
THERE WERE ANY KEYS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
MAYBE I HAVE JUST BEEN LETTING
MYSELF IN WITH LIES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT
OF THE HOUSE MORE.
I WAS AT A COFFEE SHOP
RECENTLY, AND I SAW A MOTHER
WITH HER BABY.
AND I WENT UP TO THEM, AND I
WAS LIKE, "EXCUSE ME
SHE'S SO CUTE.
AND THE MOM SAID, "THANK YOU,"
TAKING THE COMPLIMENT FOR THE
BABY
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT MADE ME THINK
I WISH I HAD MY MOM WITH ME TO
TAKE ALL THE COMPLIMENTS I
RECEIVE IN PUBLIC TODAY.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THAT WOULD BE NICE
SOME GUY WALKS BY ME, HE'S
LIKE, "DAMN, SHE'S SEXY.
MY MOM'S LIKE, "THANK YOU.
ISABEL, THE NICE MAN WANTS TO
BANG YOU
SAY 'THANK YOU.'" [ LAUGHTER ]
I LOVE MY MOM.
I DO
WE HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP.
MY MOM RECENTLY INFORMED ME
THAT I BREASTFED 'TIL I WAS
THREE.
I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, MOM, I
REMEMBER
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I WAS IN PRESCHOOL, YES.
KIDS WILL BE LIKE, "YOU WANNA
TRADE LUNCHES?
I WAS LIKE, "MY MOM JUST LEFT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU.
I'M ISABEL HAGEN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: ISABEL HAGEN, OH, MY
GOODNESS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
FOR MORE GO TO ISABELHAGEN.COM
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO SENATOR
BERNIE SANDERS, ANGELA BASSETT,
ISABEL HAGEN, ONCE AGAIN
THAT WAS FANTASTIC
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANK YOU, ISABEL.
AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
HAVE A GREAT NIGHT
I HOPE TO SEE YOU TOMORROW
BYE-BYE, EVERYBODY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪