*欢迎来到南方公园 享受好时光* ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
*到处都是友好的脸* ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
*淳朴的居民乐天知命* ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
*来到南方公园 可不要大惊小怪* ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
*大车小车随便停* ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
*人人喊着 "邻居你好!"* ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
*到了南方公园 看你感觉多自然* ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
*(你要听得清我说话 算你最厉害!)* Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
*快来南方公园 让你笑口常开* ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
哇 伙计 Wow, dude.
哟 印第安人过得不错嘛 哈? Man, Indians have it good, huh?
Eric 他们现在是叫美国原住民了 记得吗? Now, Eric, they're called Native Americans, remember?
尊重一下 Show some respect.
欢迎来到三根羽毛赌场 Welcome to the Three Feathers Casino.
我是这里的主管 带屋跑酋长 I am your host, Chief Runs With Premise.
在我们的众多游戏里挑一个试试运气吧 Please try your luck at one of our many games.
好耶! 咱们走吧! All right! Let's go!
哦 恐怕未成年人不能进赌场 Hup! I am afraid minors cannot go onto the casino floor.
我可不是矿工 蠢货(矿工Miner和未成年人Minor同音) I'm not a miner, dumbass. You see a shovel in my hand?
你们孩子可以在我们的美国原住民喜剧俱乐部玩 You kids can enjoy our Native American comedy club.
好了 我们大人要去赌两把 All right. We're gonna hit the tables.
你们何不去喜剧中心玩呢? Why don't you kids run along to the comedy club?
好啦 是时候赢点钱了! All right. Time to win some money!
不错哦 21点牌桌! Oh, yeah. Blackjack table!
欢迎来到21牌桌! Welcome to the blackjack table.
愿好运像水牛之灵一样与你们同行 May luck run through you like the spirit of the buffalo.
Gerald 这可是10刀一注哎! Gerald, this is $10 a hand!
放轻松 宝贝 Relax, sweetie.
我知道怎么算牌 I know how to count cards.
那我不想在这里玩 Well, I don't want to play here.
嗯 走吧 Sheila 咱去玩老虎机 Yeah. Come on, Sheila. Let's go to the nickel slots.
哦 老虎机哦 Ooh! The nickel slots!
你可能会赢到30刀的头彩哦 You might win the $30 jackpot!
噢 女人啊 老天 我讨厌她们 Ah, women, huh? God, I hate 'em.
好了 是时候让这些人见识一下怎么赌博了! All right! Time to show these people how to gamble!
欢迎来到三根羽毛喜剧俱乐部 Welcome to the Three Feathers Comedy Club.
请掌声欢迎约翰尼·月亮多多! Please put your hands together for Johnny Manymoons!
美国原住民喜剧到底是啥? What is Native American comedy, anyway?
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you. Thank you.
一只熊走进酒吧 Bear walked into a bar.
熊对鹿说:"我可以... Bear said to deer, "May I please...
喝一杯吗?" ...have a drink?"
然后鹿对熊说: "为什么停顿这么久?" And so deer said to bear, "Why the big pause?"
哈 哈 哈 哈! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
很多个月前 小马和老鹰遇到了一只土狼 Many moons ago, pony and eagle walked up to coyote.
小马对土狼说:"我对老鹰很生气 Pony said to coyote, "I am very mad at eagle.
你能帮我吼一下它吗?" Will you yell at him for me?"
土狼对小马说: "你怎么不自己吼?" Coyote said to pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?"
小马回答说: "因为我是一匹小马" And pony replied, "Because I am a little hoarse."
哈 哈 哈 哈! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
怎样了 Gerald? How's it going, Gerald?
哦 不是很好 Oh, not so good.
嗯 我懂你意思 我输300刀了 Yeah. I know what you mean. I'm down 300 bucks.
嗯 我输了2万6 Yeah. I'm down $26,000.
嗯 也许我们应该... 等下 2万6千刀?! Yeah. Well, maybe we should -- Wait. $26,000?!
忘了告诉你了 我有点赌瘾 I forgot to tell you. I have a gambling problem.
Gerald 2万6啊! Gerald, $26,000 --
嘘...我得在Sheila发现前把钱赢回来 Shh! I have to win it back before Sheila finds out!
你哪儿来的这么多钱? Where did you get that kind of money?
赌场贷给我的 The casino gave me credit.
我拿房子做抵押了 I put the house up as collateral.
但我还有这个10刀的筹码! But I still have this $10 chip!
庄家21点 抱歉 Dealer 21. Sorry.
完了 我毁了... That's it. I'm destitute.
借我钱! 你杯子里肯定还有钱 Loan me money! You've got to have money in the cup!
杯子里是什么? - 只有1刀半! W-What's in the cup? - Just six quarters!
哦 天啊 哦 上帝 Oh, God. Oh, Jesus.
感谢您惠顾三根羽毛赌场 Thank you for playing at Three Feathers.
愿你的人生充满燕子的歌声 May your life be filled with the song of the sparrow.
哦 把燕子的歌声塞进你的屁股吧! Oh, shove the song of the sparrow up your ass!
我要怎么告诉我的家人啊? How am I gonna tell my family?
我要怎么告诉他们 How do I tell them that tomorrow,
明天我们要打包我们的东西 然后离开我们的家? we have to pack up our things and get out of the house?
爸爸在那 There's Daddy!
哦 上帝 Oh, Jesus.
你们俩去哪了? 我们这里都找遍了 Where have you guys been? We've been looking all over.
对啊 拜托 老爸 这地方太烂了! Yeah. Come on, Dad. This place sucks!
我想走! I want to go!
你...你说啥? Wha-- What did you say?
我说我想走! I said I want to leave!
哦 你想走 对吧?! Oh! You want to leave, huh?!
好啊 行 Kyle Okay. Fine, Kyle.
我们回到家后 我们就把所有东西打包 When we get home, we'll just pack up our things,
放进车里 然后我们走! load 'em in the car, and we'll leave!
什么? 不 不 我是说... What? No, no. I mean --
不 不 如果你想离开南方公园 No, no, no. If you want to leave South Park, fine!
行! 明天我们就走! Tomorrow we're leaving!
Gerald 你在说些什么? Gerald, what are you talking about?
哦 你也听到了 Sheila Kyle想要离开 Oh, you heard him, Sheila. Kyle wants to leave.
我们那漂亮的老房子再也引不起Kyle的兴趣了 Our nice old house doesn't "interest" Kyle anymore.
我现在就打电话给搬家公司! Well, I'm calling a moving company right now!
你不该这么脑残 伙计 Well, you shouldn't be such a dick, dude.
Gerald 怎么了? What's wrong with Gerald?
他...他把房子输给美国原住民了 He -- He lost his house to the Native Americans.
什么? What?
难道美国原住民不知道他没别的地方可去了吗? But don't the Native Americans know he has nowhere else to go?
他们不在乎 They don't care.
看他们啊 Look at them.
眼光狭窄的笨蛋 把他们毕生的积蓄都输掉了 Small-minded idiots pouring their life savings away.
他们花钞票就像水牛腹泻一样 Their cash flows out of them like diarrhea from the buffalo.
没错 但我们已经快把这些乡巴佬榨干了 Yes, but we have milked these simple mountain folk almost dry.
如果我们真想赚钱的话 If we really want to see cash flow,
我们得吸引丹佛的城里人 we need to bring in city people from Denver.
对... Yes.
是时候实施我们的计划了! It is time for us to implement our plan --
一条从丹佛直达我们赌场的超级高速公路 a superhighway, built from Denver right to our casino.
那我们要怎么处理南方公园这个小镇呢? And what do we do about the small town of South Park
它在高速公路的路线上 that lies in the highway's way?
简单... Simple.
我们买下它 然后摧毁它 We buy it...and we demolish it.
哈 哈 哈 哈! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
哈 哈 哈 哈! Ha ha ha ha!
我能告诉你们的就这么多了 And that's really all I can tell you.
为了给一条12道高速公路让路 The town of South Park is going to be leveled
南方公园镇就要被夷为平地 in order to make way for a 12-lane superhighway.
但他们怎么能这么做呢? But how can they do that?
美国原住民 The Native Americans
从我们的手里买下了这块地 have purchased the land out from under us.
明天他们会买下他们需要的最后一块地 Tomorrow they're buying the last of what they need
拿到完整的所有权 to have complete ownership.
我们不能阻止他们吗? 咱给银行打电话啊! Well, can't we stop them? Let's call the bank!
那些美国原住民已经把银行买下来了 The Native Americans bought the bank.
哦 天啊! Oh, my God.
听着 这没有那么可怕 Now, look, it isn't all horrible.
美国原住民会按市价给你们提供 The Native Americans are offering you retail values
拆迁补助的 on your homes.
不 去他妈的! No! Screw that!
我们要把我们的钱凑起来 We'll just pool our money together
自己买下这个小镇 and buy the town ourselves!
没错! 对! That's right! - Yeah!
对 让南方公园的人当家作主 Yeah! Let the South Park people own South Park!
对! - 没错！ Yeah! - All right!
我们要出多少 市长? How much do we have to raise, Mayor?
30万美元 $300,000.
Ooh. - Oh.
哦 那算了 Oh. Never mind.
他们怎么能这么做 哈? How can they do that, huh?
他们怎么能逼我们都搬走呢? How can they make us all move away?
因为他们是有钱 贪婪的印第安混球 Because they're rich, greedy-ass Indians.
是美国原住民 Native Americans.
整个小镇 就要消失了... Our whole town, gone.
我们在这度过了多少美好时光啊... We've had such great times here.
天哪！ My God!
Aah! - Aah!
Oh!
Aah!
我们不能让他们这么做 各位! We can't let them do it, you guys!
我们得想办法阻止那些美国原住民! We have to find a way to stop those Native Americans!
对! Yeah!
对 这是我们的小镇! Yeah. This is our town!
我们不该被逼去别的地方交什么新朋友 We shouldn't have to make new friends somewhere else.
我们是一体的! 对 We're a team! - Yeah!
没错! - 对 没错! That's right! - Yeah, that's right!
对 我们是一体的! Yeah. We're a team.
我们只需要想办法弄到30万 We just have to figure out a way to raise $300,000.
等下! 我想到了 伙计们! Wait a minute! I've got it, you guys!
我们可以让Kyle感染艾滋病 We can get Kyle infected with AIDS
然后建立一个慈善机构 and then start a charity organization
咱就可以亏空善款啦! that we steal money from!
来吧 咱们走! Come on! Let's go!
不行? 我们不能让Kyle得艾滋? No? We can't give Kyle AIDS?
我们需要的是明天就能筹到钱的办法 We need something that will get us money tomorrow.
嘿 我知道了 来弄个狗狗游行怎么样? Hey! I know! How about a dog parade?
狗狗游行? - 对啊 Dog parade? - Yeah.
我们让我们所有的狗狗都穿上小外套 We dress up all our dogs in little outfits
然后把它们带到街上游行 and parade them down the street.
那一定很可爱的! It'll be so adorable!
这样怎么能弄到30万呢? How do we make $300,000 doing that?
哦... Oh.
我们可以把票卖给我们爸妈啊! Well, we could sell tickets to our moms and dads!
缺钱的就是我们爸妈 Butters! Our moms and dads are the ones who need money, Butters!
哦... Oh.
还是让Kyle得艾滋吧 嗯? 比起来还是这个办法好吧 Maybe give Kyle AIDS, huh? Looking a little better now.
哦 Gerald 我看不下去了! Oh, Gerald, I-I can't watch!
你们怎么能这样对别人呢? How can you do this to people?
很抱歉 但如果我们不建超级高速路的话 We're sorry, but if we do not build a superhighway,
我们赌场可能就没利润了 our casino might stop seeing profits.
生命中还有比利益重要的东西啊 There's more to life than profits.
例如? Like what?
例如 你知道...思乐冰啥的 Well, like, you know... Slurpees and stuff.
走吧 亲爱的 Well, come on, honey.
我想我们也该开始收拾行李了 I guess we should start packing up our things as well.
嗯 永别了 南方公园 Yeah. So long, South Park.
妈! 爸! Mom! Dad!
我们想到怎么弄30万了! We figured out a way we could raise $300,000!
狗狗游行? - 不是! A dog parade? - No!
Stan 我们都试过筹钱 Stan, we've all tried to raise money,
但我们只凑了1万 而明天就是最后期限了 but we only raised $10,000, and the deadline is tomorrow.
我知道 我们就拿这1万块钱 I know, so how about we take the $10,000
杀回印第安赌场怎么样? back to the Indian casino?
给他们说说 Kyle Tell them, Kyle.
轮盘上单一数字的赔率是1赔35 The odds on a single number in roulette are 35 to 1.
那就是说用1万的筹码 可以赢回35万! That means with a $10,000 bet, you win $350,000!
孩子们 那太荒谬了 Boys, that's ridiculous.
我们现在没什么可输的了 Look, we-- we've got nothing to lose.
你们怎么想? - 这机会不大 What do you guys think? - It's a long shot.
对 但这是拯救我们镇唯一的机会 Yeah, but it's the only shot we've got to save our town.
南方公园的居民本希望筹到30万美元 "The residents of South Park had hoped to raise $300,000
但最终只筹到了1万 but in the end managed to raise only $10,000.
小镇的末日即将来临了 The loss of their town may be imminent
可怜的南方公园民众啊 for the poor people of South Park."
哇 我想我要哭咯! Aw, I fink I'm going to cwy!
哈哈哈哈! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
好了 孩子们 你们在这等着 All right, boys. You're gonna have to wait here.
爸... Dad.
好运 Good luck.
现在就听上天安排吧 It's in God's hands now.
大家让开! Stand aside, everyone!
他们在干嘛? What are they doing?
我们要在你自己的游戏上打败你 We're gonna try to beat you at your own game,
带屋跑酋长! Chief Runs With Premise!
1万刀...压黑色31 $10,000 on 31 black.
不可能 Impossible.
拜托 拜托... Come on. Come on.
31...黑色 31...black.
我们赢了! 我们赢了! Yeah! - Whoo-hoo!
我们赢了! 我们赢了! Oh, we did it! We did it!
哦 我的天啊! - - 哦 这太棒了! Oh, my God! - Oh, this is amazing!
我们赢了! - 不! 不!!! We did it! - No! No!
南方公园得救了! South Park is saved!
我们有足够的钱来拯救我们镇了! We have plenty enough to save our town now!
对! 不过等下... 35万美元 Yeah! But wait. $350,000.
这就是说 如果我们再赢一次的话 就会有122.5万了! That means if we won again, it would be $12 1/4 million!
这样我们不但能救我们镇 还能变成超级富豪! We could save the town and be super rich!
哦 真他妈对 转起来吧! 转起来! Oh, hell, yeah! Let it ride! Let it ride!
他们到底在干嘛?! What the hell are they doing?!
来吧 31! 来看看! Let's go, 31! Let's see it!
2 红色 你们输了 2 red. You lose.
Ohh!
该死! Damn it!
Hm!
他们...他们本来可以的! They -- They had it!
他们本来可以的! They freakin' had it!
你们本来可以的 You totally had it.
你们本来有足够的钱来救我们镇 还能剩一些 You had enough to save the town and then some.
Stan 好了 Stan, okay?
你只是不明白赌博的精髓 You just don't understand the fine points of gambling.
连赢的时候绝对不能停手 You're never supposed to stop when you're on a winning streak.
连赢?! 你就玩了一场! A winning streak?! You played one game!
Stan 好了啊? - 什么啊?! Stan, okay? - What?!
没事 Stan 好吗? All right, Stan. Okay?
你们这些人就像美国原住民一样贪婪 You people just got greedy, like the Native Americans.
嘿 先生! 我们和他们不一样 好吗?! Hey, mister! We're not like them, all right?!
虽然我们时不时会梦想天上掉馅饼 Now, we may have pie-in-the-sky dreams once in a while,
但我们是不会把人们赶出家家园的 but we aren't the ones kicking people out of their homes.
所以不要把我们和那些... So don't you compare us to those coldhearted,
冷血 贪财 邪恶 恶心的印第安人相提并论! moneygrubbing, evil, stinky Indians!
抱歉 是美国原住民 I'm sorry -- Native Americans.
给你 先生 这是你家的补助 There you are, sir. There's the check for your home.
在这里和这里签名就好了 Just sign here and here.
就这样了 Slave先生 我们正式无家可归了 Well, this is it, Mr. Slave. We're officially homeless.
哦 上帝...上帝耶稣啊! Jesus -- Jesus Christ!
爸 你在干嘛? 不要拿他们的脏钱! Dad, what are you doing? Don't take their dirty money!
Stanley 我们别无选择 Stanley, we don't have a choice.
现在南方公园归美国原住民所有了 The Native Americans own South Park now.
我们必须接受他们给我们家的补偿 We have to take what they'll give us for our homes.
给你 祝今天过得愉快! There you go. Have a nice day.
拜托 各位 这是我们的镇! Come on, you guys. This is our town!
已经结束了 Stanley 我们还能做什么呢? It's over, Stanley. What else can we do?
我们可以留下来 奋起反抗! We can stay...and fight. - Yeah.
对 要是印第安人来拆我们镇 When the Indians come to tear up our town,
我们就踢他们的蛋蛋! we kick 'em in the nuts!
对! Mrph!
对 这个小镇不是他们的 是我们的! Yeah. They don't own our town. We do!
抱歉 孩子们 I'm sorry, boys.
你们只是不懂经济学罢了 You just don't understand economics.
会没事的 孩子们 It'll be okay, boys.
我们只要... 搬去隔壁镇就好了 We'll just move to the next town over.
哦 当然 Oh, sure.
在那些美国原住民决定要占有那片土地之前 Until the Native Americans decide they want that land, too.
要是美国原住民一直扩建他们的赌场 What if the Native Americans just keep building their casinos
还有高速公路 直到我们无处容身 怎么办? and their highways until we have nowhere else to go?
我们必须现在就起来反抗! We have to stand up to them now!
哦 算了 咱们走! Oh, forget it. Come on, you guys!
你们TMD就是一群娘们! You're all a bunch of goddamn pussies!
让路! Get out of our way!
不 我们不会让你们毁掉我们镇的! No! We won't let you destroy our town!
孩子们 这已经不是你们的镇了 Boys, it isn't your town anymore.
只因为地契上写着你的名字 Just because you have a piece of paper saying you own it
并不能把这变成你的 doesn't make it yours.
我们在这里长大 我们的父母在这里长大 We grew up here. Our parents grew up here.
我们在那个沃尔玛购物 在那个辣椒吧吃饭 We shop at that Wal-Mart and eat at that Chili's.
我们从溪里捉鱼 We take fish from the streams
用面粉裹起来冷冻 变成鱼肉条 and bread them and freeze them to make fish sticks.
这不只是一个小镇 这是我们的生活方式 This is not just a town. It is our way of life.
那你们的生活方式就要改变了 小兔崽子们 Well, your way of life is about to change, little boys.
现在 给我闪开! Now, move!
你们不能就这样闯一个地方 然后把人们的生活都带走 You can't just roll into places and take people's lives away!
四个小兔崽子 能有什么办法挡住我们呢? And what are four little boys going to do to stop us, huh?
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
*我们很强大* ♪ We are strong ♪
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
*没人可以说我们错了* ♪ No one can tell us we're wrong ♪
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
*在内心寻觅许久* ♪ Searching our hearts for so lo-o-o-ng ♪
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
*我们都知道* ♪ All of us knowing ♪
♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
*爱是战场* ♪ Love is a battlefield ♪
这块地不卖 This land is not for sale.
该死! 你不是说已经处理好了吗! Damn it! I thought you said they were dealt with!
确实是啊! They were!
抱歉了 伙计们! Sorry, Charlies!
你就留着你那肮脏杂碎的印第安钞票吧! You can just keep your filthy bastard Indian money!
应该是肮脏 杂碎的美国原住民钞票 Filthy bastard Native American money.
哦 对了 抱歉哈 Oh, right. Sorry about that!
这事还没完 This isn't over!
我们不会放弃的! 你们这群混蛋! We'll never give up! You bastards!
对 南方公园是我们的! Yeah. South Park is ours!
但现在我们要干什么呢? But what do we do now?
我是说 我们总不能永远站在这 堵他们的路吧 I mean, we can't just stand here and block their way forever.
这事不摆平 我们就站着不走 We can stand here as long as it takes.
我们的人现在状况怎样? What is the state of our people?
昨晚我和熊之灵谈了下 Last night, I spoke with The Spirit of the Bear,
熊说如果我们不赶紧建起超级高速公路的话 and Bear said that if we do not build our superhighway soon,
我们的投资人可能很快就会卖掉他们新赌场的股份 our investors may soon sell off their shares of the new casino.
没错 老鹰说新赌场收入的累积市值 Yes, and Eagle says the cumulative shared market loss
会每天下降15个百分点 on the revenue of the new casino drops 15% every day.
那我们必须用武力 Then we must force the South Park people
把南方公园的居民逼走了 off their petty land.
但他们威武不能屈 贫贱不能移 But they are determined and proud,
而且风之灵也说了 如果我们动用武力 and the Spirit of the Wind has stated that if we use force,
会大大有损我们的公众形象 it could be a publicity nightmare,
造成更大的资产损失 further hurting our net assets.
我已经有计划了 可以把他们从那儿赶走 I already have a plan how we can force them off their land...
要偷偷进行 sneakily.
我们要给他们... 毯子! We're going to give them... blankets!
毯子? Blankets?
对 我们用毯子作为和平的礼物 Yes. We will present the blankets as a peace offering.
但那些圆眼白痴万万想不到... But what the round eyes will not know
这些毯子上有SARS病原! is that the blankets are infected with SARS!
他们都会得SARS! They will all get SARS,
然后SARS就会像水牛一样席卷整个小镇 and then SARS will run through their town like a buffalo.
现在 我要你们帮我把SARS弄上毯子 Now, I need your help getting the SARS onto the blankets.
好的 带他们进来 Okay. Bring them in!
我倒要看看南方公园的人怎么对付这个! Let's see how South Park deals with this!
大家每人抓一个中国人 就把他们往毯子上蹭 Everyone, grab a Chinese person and rub them on a blanket.
确保毯子每个角落都蹭到! Make sure you rub them all over!
把SARS深深种在毯子上 Get the SARS nice and deep in there.
Tom 我现在位于寒冷的科罗拉多洲 南方公园 Tom, I'm standing in chilly South Park, Colorado,
这里的民众已经进入静坐活动的第三天 where the residents are entering the third day
试图阻止美国原住民造一条 of their sit-in to try and stop Native Americans
穿过他们镇的超级高速公路 from building a superhighway through their town.
气温很低 民众的意志也很低迷 The temperature is low, but spirits are pretty low, too.
他们想干什么? What do they want?
我们不会走的 混蛋! We're not moving, ass-faces!
免费的毯子要吗? Free blanket?
虽然我们之间存在差异 Though we know we have differences,
但我相信我们还是可以达成一些共识的 we believe that a compromise can be reached.
同时 我们在电视上看你们 In the meantime, it hurts us to see you all on television
这样坐着受冻 很是难过 sitting in the cold.
你们能接受我们这些善意的馈赠吗? Will you not take this offering as a gesture of goodwill?
你说"免费毯子"的时候就打动我了 You had me at "free blanket."
免费的毯子? 免费的毯子? Free blanket? Free blanket?
毯子? Blanket?
Tom 貌似现在美国原住民 Tom, it now looks as if the Native Americans
在向南方公园民众发放毯子 are handing out blankets as a sign of goodwill
作为善意的表示 towards the South Park people.
真是充满同情心的善举啊 What an incredible display of compassion.
我当然希望这背后没有什么阴谋 I certainly hope there's nothing sinister behind it.
来 这是我们善意的表示 Please, as a token of good faith.
你...应该理解我们会不太相信你吧 You understand if I'm a little wary of trusting you.
这只是条毯子 Marsh先生 It is only a blanket, Mr. Marsh.
那 谢了 Well, thanks.
哦 不客气 Oh. You're welcome.
Tom 现在是星期二上午 Tom, it's Tuesday morning now,
南方公园的SARS疫情 and the outbreak of SARS in South Park
已经大面积爆发 has reached epic proportions.
整个镇已经被联邦政府隔离了 The entire town has been quarantined
任何人都不允许出入 by the federal government, nobody allowed in or out,
也就是说... 没有人能来救援我们 which means nobody can come to our aid.
看来这个小镇和我这个记者... 都要完蛋了 It appears this town and this reporter are done for.
接下来请收看: 如何正确选择护发素 Coming up next -- choosing the right hair conditioner.
对护发产品不了解 What you don't know about hair-care products
可能会让你花大钱哦 could be costing you a bundle.
会没事的 老爸 It's all right, Dad.
你妈怎么样了? How's your...mother?
她在那边躺着呢 来 喝点啤酒吧 She's hanging in there. Here. Drink some beer.
我舌头感觉凉凉的 It's cool on my tongue.
你会没事的 You're gonna be all right.
Stanley 听我说 我得了SARS Stanley, listen to me. I have SARS.
我活下来的几率只有98% There's only a 98% chance that I will live.
不 老爸 不! No, Dad! No!
听着 Stan! Listen, Stan!
SARS在蚕食我们这些人 SARS is destroying our people.
美国原住民把它放进了送给我们的毯子里 The Native Americans put it in the blankets they gave us.
很快 我们的人只会剩下98%了 Soon there will be only 98% of us left.
我能做点什么? What can I do?
你...必须去找治愈SARS的方法 孩子 You...must find a cure for SARS, son,
拯救我们的人民 and save our people.
治好SARS?! 哦 老天爷啊 Cure SARS? Aw, Jesus!
你身体里流淌着中产阶级白人的血液 Stan The spirit of middle-class white people is strong in you, Stan.
去Bellocreek找那位智者 Seek out the wise man in Bellocreek.
现在去吧 快去! Now, go! Go!
什么事? What?
嘿 我叫Stan 我是来... Hey, my name's Stan, and I was --
你的到来我已经预知到了 Your coming was foretold to me.
你是来救我们镇上的人的 You've come to save our people.
进来吧 Come in.
小心猫 Watch the cats.
呃 那 你知道怎么治愈SARS吗? Uh, so, do you know how to cure SARS?
不 我只是个引路人 Me? No. I am just a guide.
坐下 Sit down.
你必须自己去寻找答案 You must find the answer yourself
进行一次心灵旅行 by taking an inward journey.
心灵旅行(向内的旅行)? 听上去有点猥琐哎 An inward journey? That sounds kind of gay.
让我们祖先的声音给你指路吧 Let the voices of our ancestors show you the way.
呼吸...对着预视之袋呼吸吧 Breathe. Breathe from the bag of visions.
呃 哦 靠! Ugh! Oh, dude!
还要等多久才能建我们的超级高速公路啊? How much longer must we wait for our superhighway?
SARS已经扩散到了南方公园的每个角落 SARS has spread throughout the entire town of South Park,
带屋跑酋长 Chief Runs With Premise.
他们的意志马上就会崩溃的 Their wills will break soon.
那我们还是耐心等等吧 Then I suppose we must be patient.
带屋跑 快过来! Runs With Premise, come quickly!
怎么了 老婆? What is the matter, wife?
是我们的儿子 带小屋跑 It is our son, Premise Running Thin.
他病得很重 He is very sick!
带小屋跑 怎么了? Premise Running Thin, what is the matter?
他和一个中国人共用了杯子 He -- He shared a glass with one of the people from China.
他得SARS了 He has SARS.
不! 我跟你说过不要碰他们的啊! No! I told you not to touch them!
爸爸... 爸爸... Papa. Papa.
我已经给他用了沙漠植物的草药 I have given him herbs from the desert plant
还有生命仙人掌的汁水 and water from the cactus of life,
但好像都没什么用 but nothing seems to be working.
如果那镇上的人早点搬走 This would not have happened
这事就不会发生了! if those townspeople would have just moved away!
不要再等了 No more waiting around.
明天我们就开始计划的最后一步 Tomorrow we begin the final stage of our plan --
兵临城下! shock and awe!
爸! 爸! Dad! Dad!
Stanley! Stanley!
你和那位老者做了心灵旅行了没? Did you have an inward journey with the old man?
你看到什么了吗? Did you have a vision?
我不知道我有没有 我看到些东西 I don't know if I did or not. I-I saw something.
有人跟我说话 Someone spoke to me
告诉了我中产阶级白人治疗SARS的方法 and told me the middle-class white way to cure SARS --
康宝牌鸡汤面 感冒通和雪碧 Campbell's chicken noodle soup, DayQuil, and Sprite.
对 对 当然 Yes. Yes. Of course.
快 Stan 我们必须把这分给所有人 Quickly, Stan! We must give it to everyone.
天啊 这真的成功了 Stan Boy, that really did the trick, Stan.
我想我们真算是还没完蛋吧 I thought we were kind of sort of not really done for!
多亏了你 我们都得救了 Stan Thanks to you, we're all safe now, Stan.
Aah!
现在 我要把你们这些虚弱的SARS病夫 Now I will blow your weak, SARS-infested bodies
统统赶出地球! off the earth!
怎么... What the...
等一下 停下 停下! Wait a minute. Stop! Stop!
你们...你们的SARS呢 跑哪去了? Your -- Your SARS -- Where did it go?
我们治好了SARS We have cured ourselves
用的是我们的传统药方 using the medicines of our culture.
我儿子 带小屋跑 也得了SARS My son, Premise Running Thin, has the SARS as well.
你们...你们能治好他吗? You -- You can cure him?
这太神奇了 It is amazing.
我们所有的植物和草药都没办法治好他 All our plants and herbs failed to heal him.
但你们的药方 But your people's remedy
把水牛的灵魂带回了他的体内 brings the spirit of the buffalo back into his heart.
也许从你们生活的方式中我们能学到不少东西 Perhaps there are many things we can learn from your way of life.
我们都是简单的人 We're a simple people.
我们只是想安安心心过日子 All we want is to be allowed to live our lives.
你们治好了带小屋跑 You have cured Premise Running Thin.
作为回报 我把赌场里所有5元的筹码都给你们 In return, I shall give you all $5 credit at the casino.
好吧 好吧 All right. All right.
我不建那条高速公路了 I will not build a superhighway through your town,
你们都可以回家了 and you can all have your homes back.
太棒了! 耶! All right! - Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!
我想我们都明白了南方公园 Well, I guess we all learned
不只是一个小镇 that South Park is more than just a town.
它是个没有人能分裂的社区 It's a community that nobody can split up.
伙计 你到底是谁? Dude, who the hell are you?
Alex Alex.
Alex Glick? Alex Glick?
我是来做那啥声音嘉宾的? I got to come on and do the guest-voice thingy.
什么? 滚出去! What?! Get the hell out of here!
妈好! 爸好! Jill好! Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Hi, Jill!