（英國，碧仙桃）
（平安夜）
再來一杯？ Another one?
我仍企直，想轉轉姿勢 Well, I'm still vertical, so I'd like to change that.
（聖誕快樂 伯尼上）
呵，呵 Ho, ho.
一杯苦啤 Bitter. Pint.
你剛收工？ You just get off?
我在兩更之間休息一下 也算收工吧 I'm taking a break. Between shifts, I guess you could say.
你不會揸車吧？ You ain't driving, are you?
我祇扭下軚，大部份由馴鹿控制 I steer a little, but the reindeer do most of the work.
這是我第四年做聖誕老人，你呢？ This is my fourth year as a Santa. How about you?
數不清了 Lostcount
我已忘了最初為甚麼這樣做 I forget why I started doing it in the first place.
任何人做任何事祇為一個原因 Same reason anybody does anything.
錢 The money.
錢…錢 Money. Money.
全地球都靠貪婪運作 This whole planet runs on greed.
是為了小孩臉上的歡欣，是嗎？ It's the look on the kiddies' faces, innit?
我是因為這原因 That's what does it for me.
那歡欣…沒錯，那歡欣 The look. Yeah, that look.
祇能維持兩秒 Lasts about two seconds.
他們一拆完禮物，就會 立即想要下一份 As soon as they're finished unwrapping, they want the next present,
想要下一份新潮玩意 they want the next cool thing.
這世界就是這樣 That's how this world works.
而那些細路變成了甚麼？ 他們就像小小癮君子 And kids... What kids have become. They're just like little junkies.
他們是死豆釘 祇一味要求，從不去相信 They're little shits. They just demand. They don't believe.
他們祇一味索求、渴望、消費 They just want, crave, consume.
或許這是我的最後一年 Maybe this is my last year.
最後一個聖誕 The last Christmas.
我不能忍受又看到一個 沮喪的聖誕老人 I can't stand seeing another Santa in distress.
﹣他喝的入我數 ﹣好 Put his drinks on my tab. Yeah. Okay?
祝你佳節快樂 Very merry of you. Okay.
我要走了 I better get going.
禮物不會自動送出去 Presents aren't gonna deliver themselves.
給你孫仔，我慳返一程 For your grandson. Save me a trip.
是新的電子遊戲 It's that new video game.
《銀河狙擊》？《狙擊銀河》？ 我不知道 It's astro blaster, blaster astro. I don't know.
（給米基 聖誕老人）
聖誕快… Merry Christmas.
他怎會知道我孫仔個名？ How'd he know my grandson's name?
他怎知道我有個孫？ How'd he know I have a grandson?
嘿！ Oi!
那道門去屋頂的！ That door leads to the roof.
醉酒鬼 Piss head.
對他寬容些，聖誕節嘛 Go easy on him. It's Christmas.
嘿！ Hey!
你不能上來 You can't be up here.
若你跌斷頸，我會… If you break your neck, I'm the one...
天啊 My god.
真的… It's...
很美… Beaufi_.
《殺神夜》
（康涅狄格州，格林威治）
（媽）
嗨！嗨！ Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
她在這…哈囉，小鬆餅 There she is. Hello, muffin.
去探嫲嫲吧 Let's go see grandma.
聖誕快樂 Merry Christmas.
聖誕快樂，卓迪，過來 Merry Christmas, Trudy. Merry...
聖誕快樂，爸爸 「你這骯髒的畜牲」 Merry Christmas, daddy, ya filthy animal.
她昨晚捱夜看《寶貝智多星》 She got to stay up late and watch home alone.
﹣原來如此 ﹣好搞笑 Uh-huh. It was so funny.
﹣是啊 ﹣那… That... Yep.
好刺耳 that hurts.
﹣叫足一朝 ﹣好吧 Okay... all morning.
謝謝你… Thank you.
這樣做 For doing this.
我不是為了你 I'm not doing it for you.
﹣聖誕節了！ ﹣太好了！ It's Christmas! Yeah!
﹣聖誕快樂，艾爾 ﹣嗨，蓮達，聖誕快樂 Merry Christmas, al. Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.
﹣里斯東先生 ﹣嘿，艾爾 Mr. Lightstone. Hey, ai.
你在後面嗎，小卓？ Hey, you back there, tru?
﹣我猜你一定很期待聖誕節 ﹣你問聖誕老人要甚麼？ Yeah, I bet you're excited for Christmas. What did you ask Santa for?
平安夜不用開工 Not to work on Christmas Eve.
我今年一定好百厭才會在這 Must've been naughty this year, 'cause here I am.
待會記得開閘讓聖誕老人進來 Just make sure you let Santa through the gates later, ai.
﹣知道 ﹣祝你佳節愉快 Yeah. Have a merry one, now.
﹣聖誕快樂 ﹣聖誕快樂，艾爾 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, al.
聖誕快樂，小卓 Merry Christmas, tr...
﹣謝謝，艾爾 ﹣好了 Thank you, al. Yeah.
呵呵呵，聖誕快樂 Merry Christmas.
希望你在乖孩子名單上 Hope you're on the nice list.
這是甚麼鬼？ What the hell is this?
你們是世上最差的餐飲公司 You are the worst catering company on the planet.
是縱切，不是橫切 It's lengthwise, not width.
有無搞錯 Unbelievable.
好了 Okay.
嗨，各位，聖誕快樂 Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.
﹣嗨 ﹣不要了，謝謝 Hi. I'm fine. Thank you
是啊，看來很好 so much.
我永遠忘不了你是這樣長大的 Hlnevergetover the fact that you grew up like this.
我的治療師也說我永遠忘不了 My therapist says hlneverget over it, either.
我要喝一杯 I need a drink.
嘿，看啊 Hey, look at that.
﹣嗨，蓮達，嘿 ﹣是啊 Hi, Linda.
最近好嗎，艾樺？ Hey. How's it going, alva?
你增磅了 You gained weight.
但你胖了也好看 Looks good on you, though.
謝謝 Mnpmnm. Thank you.
點呀，潺仔？ 'Sup, limp dick?
我覺得今年聖誕會好正 I got great feelings about this Christmas.
﹣想知原因嗎？ ﹣想 You want to know why? Yeah.
因為我覺得老媽今年會讓位… 'Cause I think this is the year that mom's gonna kick herself upstairs
選我們其中一個打理公司 and choose one of us to start running the show.
而我要話你知，積臣 我會死咬住你不放 And I got to tell you, Jason, that I'm gunning for your ass.
里斯東家的聖誕節 總是充滿奉承和內訌 What would a lightstone family Christmas be without groveling andinfighfing?
你的粉紅葡萄酒，女士 WoYour rosé, ma'am.
親愛的，笑一下，聖誕節嘛 Honey, smile. It's Christmas.
好極，真乖 Good. Good girl.
我為我姊姊道歉 I am sorry about my sister.
見到你真的很高興 It is really nice to see you.
幸好你在這 To have you here.
我脫節了，快告訴我最新的八卦 Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up on all the hot goss.
最新八卦，好吧 Hot goss. Okay. Um...
你記得伯特吧，我姊的 驕傲和快樂泉源 Well, you remember Bert, my sister's pride and joy.
唷唷唷，我是伯特洛克 Yo, yo, yo. This is the Bert locker
在平安夜過著金光閃閃的超豪生活 living that bling life on Christmas Eve.
#有福氣 Hashtag blessed.
他剛收到… He just got what I can only assume
他的第一宗性騷擾指控 而我認為會陸續有來 will be his first of many sexual harassment accusations.
媽收買了學校 現在體育館以我們家族命名 Mom paid off the school, and now the gymnasium is named after us.
她絕對做得出來 Of course she did.
那「可悲舞壯士」呢？ What about tragic Mike?
我祇想說，若我當時 在其中一架飛機上 All I'm saying is, if I was on one of those planes,
911的結局會是一群恐怖分子… 9/11 would've ended with a bunch of terrorists
沒背降傘地在康涅狄格州跳傘 skydiving over Connecticut without their parachutes.
﹣好極！ ﹣是啊，你喜歡？ Yes. Yes. Boom. Yeah. You like that?
﹣我很喜歡 ﹣好極 Yeah, I do like it.
在兒子面前吻我 Kiss me in front of my son. Now?
他真的可以做個稱職演員 He might actually be a decent actor.
他一直假裝我姊有魅力 簡直可以攞影帝 He's been doing an Oscar-worthyjob of pretending to find my sister appealing.
現在他想老媽出資拍戲 Now he wants mom to fund a film for him.
無可能，我沒空 Not a chance. That's not gonna work for me.
是伽卓迪！ It's gertrude!
是老媽 It's mom.
﹣好了，來了 ﹣快來 Okay, let's do this. Okay, okay. Come on.
﹣伯特，過來埋位 ﹣不，媽 Comeon. Bem getoverhere. No.Mom.Mom!
﹣開始了，老友 ﹣好吧 Positions. Game time, buddy. Okay. Okay.
﹣我這邊較帥 ﹣我很忙 This is my good side. I'm busy.
﹣我們已講好，快啊 ﹣天啊，好了 We've gone over this! Come on! Gosh. Okay.
﹣伯特，企中間 ﹣開始了 Bert, get in the middle. So it begins.
我認真的，快來，你知很重要 Seriously, come. You know what that means.
我們要快步上前嗎？ Shall we jockey forward?
不 No,
不，我們待在後面 we can hang back.
沒錯 Yeah.
卓迪，乖女 Trudy, honey?
過來吧 Come on over here.
別… Just, like...
恐嚇或賄賂他們，很難嗎？ Threaten 'em or bribe 'em. This isn't rocket science.
我們一向那樣做 Same shit we always do.
甚麼？ That's what?
那已是你最好的辦法？ That's the best you can do?
期待見到你嫲嫲嗎？ Excited to see your grandma?
聽住，你個死鏟 Listen, you cocksucker.
今天是聖誕節 所以不如你將你個好辦法… It's Christmas, so why don't you take
用禮物紙包好，然後塞入你後欄 yourbestofien mflwmpm and ram it up your fucking box.
你或不知道我是誰 Maybe you don't realize who I am.
﹣那些字祇有你嫲嫲能說 ﹣老天，有人在後面扮型 Those were grandma words. You know, forget them. Oh, boy. Look at Mr. Cool back here.
你打算做甚麼，老友？ Yeah, what's your angle, man, hmm?
沒打算，我甚麼都不會做 No angle. I'm not doing anything.
最好是 Oh, yeah.
不，不行！ No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No!
別塞我食屎，然後騙我 是朱古力蛋糕 Don't shit in my mouth and tell me it's chocolate cake.
外婆超型 Grandma's cool.
我可壓下那故事… I can make that story go away...
﹣你細佬有陰謀 ﹣不 I think your brother's up to something. No,
我祇是決定 今天讓你們盡情擦鞋討好我媽 I just decided to let you guys have all the fun sucking up to mom today.
好心你，你才是擦鞋王 Please. You are king suck-up.
你孩子就叫伽卓迪 You named your kid gertrude.
艾樺，你兒子叫伯卓迪 Alva, you named your son bertrude.
﹣好吧 ﹣對不起伯特，但那名字是亂編 Okay. Sorry, Bert, but that's not a real name.
對不起，蓮達 不是人人都夠運有女兒 Sorry, Linda. We can't all be lucky enough to have daughters.
媽，我聽到的 Mom, I can hear you.
你定有獨家消息，是甚麼？ You know something we don't. What is it?
不，我沒有，我不知道 No, I don't. I don't.
你一定知，我會盯著你，老友 I got it. Bingo. I'm onto you, man.
﹣快來！ ﹣我們剛才… Come on! We were just...
快，快來 come on, come oh.
你個死廢柴，難怪你老公走佬 You big sack of shit. No wonder your husband left you.
你也聖誕快樂，參議員 Merry Christmas to you, too, senator.
﹣聖誕快樂，媽咪 ﹣聖誕快樂 Merry Christmas, mommy. Merry Christmas.
﹣是啊，媽 ﹣聖誕快樂 Merry Christmas.
你們站到老遠搞甚麼？ Why in the hell are you standing all the way back there?
聖誕快樂，嫲嫲！ Merry Christmas, grandma!
死妹釘 Little bitch. Gertrude1aw.
小伽卓迪 我最愛的孫女好嗎？ Little gertrude. And how is my favorite granddaughter?
現在人人都叫我「卓迪」 Everybody calls me Trudy now.
「卓迪」？ Trudy?
﹣那聽起來像舞女 ﹣好吧 That makes her sound like a whore. Okay.
她才聽不明白這個詞 Oh, she doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
我餓了，開餐吧 I'm starving. Let's eat.
懶醒 Great.
媽，我覺得伽卓迪是個很美的名字 And, mom, I think gertrude is a beautiful name.
我祇會叫她伽卓迪 I only call her gertrude.
﹣聖誕快樂，伽卓迪 ﹣走吧，伯卓迪 Merry Christmas, gertrude. Come on, bertrude.
（雲呢拿曲奇）
（禮物清單）（現金 現金 現金 現金 電子遊戲）
又一個難頂的聖誕節 Another fucking Christmas.
這些都是我自製的 I made these all by myself.
無可能 No way.
我還焗了一塊似足聖誕老人的 I even made one that looks exactly like Santa.
﹣似到十足 ﹣沒錯 Exactly. Yeah.
聖誕老人也有士的糖？ Santa gets a candy cane, too?
﹣有啊 ﹣好吧 Yeah. Okay.
很完美 It's perfect.
不准偷看 No peeking.
這間屋很有多煙囪 This house has so many chimneys.
聖誕老人怎知道從哪個下來？ How will Santa know which one to come down?
聖誕老人自會知道 Oh, Santa just knows.
聖誕魔法啊 Christmas magic.
寶貝，怎麼了？ Honey, what's wrong?
爸爸今年沒帶我去商場找聖誕老人 Daddy never took me to see Santa at the mail this year.
他沒有嗎？ He didn't.
我很抱歉 I am so sorry.
今年情況有點難搞 This year has been weird.
我沒機會告訴聖誕老人 想要甚麼聖誕禮物 I never got to tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas.
寶貝，過來 Oh, honey. Come here.
你知嘛？ You know what?
你去換上睡衣… You go put your pj's on,
我兩分鐘後就回來 and I will be two minutes.
掂 Yes!
好吧 Okay...
甚麼？這是甚…
快啊
太好了 Yes.
掂晒 Yes!
因為你今年很聽我和媽媽的話 Because you have been so good to me and mommy this year,
我們決定你有一份聖誕禮物… 可提早拆 we decided that you could have one gift... Early!
真的？ Really?
這是甚麼？ What is it?
那是非常特別的對講機 That is a very special walkie-talkie.
﹣有魔法的 ﹣魔法？ It's magic. Magic?
你手上的… What you got right there
是直通聖誕老人的熱線 is a direct hotline to Santa claus himself.
﹣我可跟聖誕老人聊天？ ﹣是啊 I can talk to Santa?
就像寫信給他一樣，但這樣更好 Oh, yeah. It's just like writing him a letter,
但有一個問題… but better.
他可能沒時間回應你 Now, the only thing is, he might not have time to answer you.
他今晚要去送很多禮物 He's delivering a lot of presents tonight.
但你想跟他說的，他都會聽到 But he'll hear everything you want to say to him.
哈囉，聖誕老人？ Hello, Santa?
我叫卓迪里斯東 This is Trudy lightstone.
我希望你今晚愉快 I hope you're having a nice night.
今晚真的很冷，別忘了戴手套 It's really cold tonight, so don't forget your mittens.
好了，我想告訴你，聖誕老人 So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,
我今年特別乖 I was extra good this year,
所以我列了一大張清單 寫上我想要的禮物 so I wrote a big list for you with all the stuff I wanted.
但之後… But then...
我發現我不想要那些禮物了 Then I realized I don't need any of that.
今年聖誕我祇想要一份禮物 I really only want one present for Christmas.
我想爸媽和好 I want mommy and daddy to make up
那我們可再成為一家人 so we can be a family again.
好了 Okay.
晚安，聖誕老人 Good night, Santa.
晚安，兔先生 Good night, Mr. Bunny.
誰做的？ Which one of you did that?
停兩秒都不行？ 硬要學白鴿在屋頂痾屎？ You can't go two seconds without crapping on the roof like a bunch of pigeons?
太不專業 So unprofessional.
魯道夫絕不會隨地痾 You know, Rudolph will never do this crap.
自製的 Homemade.
脫脂奶 Ugh. Skim.
正，啱晒我 Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.
(1938)
寶林酒莊，二戰前的貨色 Dubois. That's some prewar shit right there.
好酒 Good shit.
好夾 That pairs well.
這裡有甚麼？ What do we have here?
正，無得彈 Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.
你知嘛… You know...
聖誕節還算不錯 Christmas is all right,
但你們美國人都不慶祝 我最喜歡的節日 but you Americans don't celebrate my favorite holiday.
是嗎？甚麼節？ Yeah? What?
拆「傷」日 Boxing day.
唷唷，伯特里斯東在直播夢想生活 Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here, live streaming the dream, you know.
他們說最有錢的人… They say the richest man...
講拜拜 Say goodbye.
如果你們… And if you...
不，外婆！ Grandma!
你的WiFi廢到爆，頂！ Your Wi-Fi sucks dick. Damn it!
他小時候，我求過你打他一頓 When he was small, I begged you to beat him.
嘿，聖誕快樂 Hey. Merry Christmas.
還是我該說節日快樂？ Or should I say "happy holidays" now?
那些人最好立定主意 Right? I mean, it's like, people, make up your minds.
﹣有事幫到你？ ﹣有，希望幫到 You know what I'm saying? Can I help you? Yeah. I sure hope so. See...
看，我架車死火，在那… My car broke down a little ways...
這裡？這是私家路 Out here? This is a private road.
我就知道 You're telling me.
我走了幾里才見到人 我好像凍傷了 It's the first place I've seen for miles. I think I got frostbite.
我到底在哪？ Where the hell am I, anyway?
里斯東家族大宅，我幫你叫拖車 G.t. Lightstone family compound. I'll call you a tow.
好了，各位狂歡者 All right, revelers.
是時候偷走聖誕節了，報數 Time to steal Christmas. Sound off.
鈴鐺，已就位 Jingle. Check.
﹣薄荷，已就位 ﹣甜梅，已就位 Peppermint. Check. Sugarplum. Check.
聖誕怪魔，已準備搞破壞 Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.
士的糖，已就位 Candy cane. Check.
﹣冷霜就位 ﹣彩條就位 Go for frosty. Go for tinsel.
薑餅就位 Go for gingerbread.
我們全晚都要用這些戇居代號？ Are we gonna use these stupid code names all night?
應節嘛 'Tis the season.
歡迎體驗你最可怕的聖誕 Welcome to your worst Christmas ever.
卓迪最愛去商場找聖誕老人 Trudy loves seeing Santa at the mall.
她喜歡跟爸爸去 She loves going with her father.
而你昨天該帶她去的 像以往每年聖誕一樣 And you should've taken her yesterday, like you do every Christmas,
但我們沒你消息 but we didn't even hear from you.
老媽派我負責特別項目，好複雜 Mom put me on a special project. It's complicated.
不複雜，因為這事不斷重演 But it's not, because it keeps happening over and over.
你媽硬要干涉我們生活 Your mother forcing herself between us.
你說得對 You're right.
不如我們實現卓迪的聖誕願望？ What if we could give Trudy her Christmas wish?
在你媽的大宅過浪漫週末 就想挽回我？ You're trying to win me back with a romantic weekend at your mother's?
如果這次真的不一樣呢？ What if things really changed this time?
我們不再受我媽指揮 We got out from under my mother's thumb.
我們離開 We'll walk away.
遠離公司和家族 From the company, the family.
今晚就走 Tonight.
你打算做甚麼？ What are you up to?
﹣走吧 ﹣要帶你離開 Let's go. We need to get you out of here.
媽咪，你去哪？ Mommy, where are you going?
﹣她要去避難室 ﹣甚麼？ She's going for the panic room! What?
﹣真的，快，伯卓迪 ﹣丟下我們？ Yes. Go, bertrude. Without us?
大劑！大劑！ Fuck, fuck, fuck.
﹣不夠位容納全部人 ﹣至少可多進兩個 There isn't room for all of us. She can fit at least two of us.
﹣媽，帶我 ﹣媽！ Mom, take me. Mom!
對了 Oh, yeah.
媽，也帶伯特好嗎？ Mom, can Bert come, too?
好了，阿仔讓開…讓開 Okay. Move it or lose it, son. Move it!
﹣你該要保護我們的 ﹣我們保護主要資產 You're supposed to protect us. We protect the primary asset.
你是誰？ Who the hell are you?
你可叫我守財奴先生 You can call me Mr. Scrooge.
真幽默 Hilarious.
抓住他 Get him.
我呸，死鏟 Bah humbug, motherfucker.
嘿，讓開 Hey. Step aside.
彩條、薄荷，搜樓上 Tinsel, peppermint, sweep upstairs.
我要捉齊里斯東家的人 I want all the lightstones together.
其他人格殺勿論 Kill anybody else you find.
大鑊！大鑊！ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
卓迪，寶貝，要走了 Trudy, honey, we got to go.
起來，寶貝，起來 Wake up, honey. Wake up.
走僕人樓梯繞去後門 Maybe we can get out the back by the servants' stairs.
搞錯！別現在失靈！ Come on. Not now. Not now.
頂！頂！ Fuck! Fuck!
槲寄生，薑餅 Mistletoe, gingerbread.
嘿 Hi.
嗨，你發現我 You got me.
我不想惹事，好嗎？ I don't want any trouble, okay?
落樓，即刻 Downstairs. Now.
聽住，先生 Look, mister, I don't want to get involved.
我不想介入 我祇想做好工作，就這樣 I just have a job to do. Okay? That's it.
我祇想帶上我個袋 I'm just gonna take my bag,
然後爬上那煙囪 and I'm just gonna scooch up that chimney.
講夠了，走吧 Enough talk. Let's go.
你不會想這樣做 You don't want to do this.
怎樣？這樣？ What? This?
快走 Now, move!
你聾了？該死的快走 Are you deaf? Fucking move!
不，不要 No, no, no.
不！等等！ No! Wait!
等等！ Wait.
等等！別走！回來！ Wait! Don't go! Come back!
弊 Fuck!
大劑 Oh, shit.
無膽馴鹿丟下我等死 Damn chickenshit reindeer leave me here to die.
殺戮夜，血腥夜 Violent night gory night
萬暗中，冷靜些 all is calm
否則一槍爆頭冚家歸西 if all doesn't want to get shot in the fucking head
好幽默 Cute.
你知你們招惹了誰嗎？ Do you have any idea who you're fucking with?
我很清楚自己招惹了誰 I know exactly who I'm fucking with.
等等，你真的以為… Wait, wait. Did you actually think
我花了幾個月籌備巧妙 的爆門計劃… that I spent months planning a complex break-in to the most secure
闖入全國保安最嚴密的私宅… private residence in the country
而不知道屋主是誰？ and I didn't know who lived here?
你錯了 Well, you're wrong.
因為你的員工死了、保安都死了 'Cause your staff are dead. Your security are dead.
現在坐低！然後收聲！ Now, sit down and shut the fuck up!
激氣 Fuck.
沒事的，幾分鐘後就解決 We planned it. It's all right. It'll be solved in a couple minutes.
最好解決到 Better be solved.
勁似我套《黑暗贖金》 So much like a scene from my movie dark ransom.
天啊 Oh, my god.
若他們沒槍… If they didn't have guns,
我可制服三個…或者四個 I could take out three, maybe four of them.
試試全都制服 Try all of them.
媽，好鶻突 Ew, mom. Yuck.
若你真做過資料搜集… Ifyou'd really done your research, you'd know
你該知道我哥羅尼 70年代時被綁架 that my brother Rory was kidnapped in the '70s.
但我父親從沒報警 But my father nevercahed the police.
爸爸派出自家的私人營救隊 Dad sent in our own private extraction team,
羅尼一星期後安全回到家 and Rory was home safe and sound a week later.
而綁匪從未被找到 And the kidnappers were never found.
若你明白我意思 If you get me.
我知道 I know.
我很清楚你那隊營救隊 I know all about your extraction team
你私下暱稱他們為「殺戮小隊」 that you affectionately call "the kill squad" behind closed doors.
我還知道他們正趕來… I also know that they're on their way
以及多久會到 and how long it's gonna take 'em to get here.
我還知道他們的信用等級 甚至條啫有幾大…若你明白我意思 I even know their credit ratings and their dick sizes. If you get me.
那你該知道自己死定 Then you should also know you're already dead.
我們從不付贖金 We don't do ransoms.
再一次，我知，我知道 Again, I know. I know.
我知道很多事，伽卓迪，真的 See, I know a lot, gertrude. I really do.
例如你有三億美元… Like the fact that you have 300 million in us. Dollars
放在樓下的私人保險庫裡 sitting in your personal vault downstairs.
﹣甚麼？ ﹣沒錯 The fuck? That's right.
美國政府給了里斯東三億美元… 300 million that the us. Government
讓他們悄悄地 在中東分發給所有大惡人 gave lightstone to quietly distribute in the middle east to all the worst people,
用來疏通人脈，好讓石油繼續運來 to grease the wheels and keep that sweet oil flowing.
三億元…就那樣在戰亂中消失 300 million that... oops... Disappeared in the fog of war.
但其實沒真正消失，對吧阿伽？ Except it didn't really disappear, did it, gerty?
因為你偷了 'Cause you stole it.
﹣你知道這件事嗎？ ﹣天啊，這家族 Did you know about this? Man, this family.
這貪錢家族 This moneygrubbing family.
拼命抓住財富… Clinging desperately to your wealth,
而你那些可憐員工 連買煤保暖都不夠錢 when your poor employees don't even have enough coal to keep tiny Tim warm.
你為何句句都跟聖誕節有關？ What is it with you and all this Christmas shit?
隨你怎說，你絕對入不到保險庫 Talk all you want. You'll never get in the vault.
因為你一撳了緊急掣 密碼就會重置？ Oh, oh, oh. Because when you hit the panic button, it reset the combination?
我已不斷告訴你，我知道 I keep telling you, I know.
爆夾萬已演變成這樣？ This is what breaking into a vault has turned into?
記得以前祇需要鑽洞然後炸開？ Remember when you just had to drill holes and blow shit up?
或許是我老了，但以前那樣較浪漫 I don't know, maybe I'm getting old, but there was something romantic about that.
波士，聽到嗎？ Candy cane: Boss, you copy?
我現在好忙 I'm kind of busy here.
你會想來看看 You're gonna want to see this.
可能他是跌倒 Maybe he fell.
你跟他一起游繩下來 You rappel down buildings with him.
現在說他會摔出窗外？ You gonna tell me he just fell out a window?
大家警覺，有「地鼠」溜進來了 All right, look lively, gang. We got a gopher.
你知嘛？我覺得兔先生想睡覺了 You know what? Um, I think Mr. Bunny wants to go to sleep.
我們哄他睡吧，好嗎？ So, let's tuck him in. Okay?
沒事的 It's gonna be okay.
哈囉？聖誕老人？你在嗎？ Hello? Santa? Are you there?
激氣 Shit.
士的糖在第三哨點 This is candy cane at checkpoint three.
大檸樂 Shit. Shit.
大鑊 Shit.
電子遊戲 Video game.
就沒人許願要球棒或劍？ 或汽油彈？ Didn't anybody ask for a bat or a sword or molotov cocktails?
等等 Wait.
媽咪，我愛你 Mommy, llove you.
詩集 Poetry book.
藍光版《虎膽龍威》，頂！ Die hard on blu-ray. Fuck!
上了安全扣，死蠢 safety's on, dipshit.
等等，等等先 Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
等等，等等 Wait, wait, wait.
聽住，我不想殺你 Look. I don't want to kill you.
「嘩，一個大肥佬，白鬚」 Well, a big fat guy, gray beard.
聖誕老人 Santa...
我要拆你祠堂 I'm gonna rip your fucking balls off.
弊 Shit.
天啊 Oh, god.
士的糖報告，搜過大宅無人 Candy cane: This is candy cane checking in. Compound is clear and secured.
收到，殺戮小隊情況如何？ Copy. What's the status on the kill squad?
殺戮小隊兩小時後到 Gingerbread: Kill squad won't be here for two hours.
我們進展順利，外層已破解 So we're doing good. The outer seal's already been breached.
這東西報到警嗎？ Is there a 911 thing on here?
我撳得… I...
撳得啱嗎？ Am I doing that correct?
哈囉？ Hello?
哈囉，有人聽到嗎？ Hello, can anybody hear me?
你聽到我說嗎，聖誕老人？ Can you hear me, Santa?
哈囉？ Hello?
聖誕老人？ Santa?
是，我是聖誕老人 Yeah, this is Santa.
我希望沒打擾你吧 I hope I'm not bothering you.
爸爸說過你今晚很忙 Daddy said you were very busy tonight.
我… I'm...
我在小休 I'm on a break.
我在和誰說話？ Who am I speaking to?
我叫卓迪里斯東 My name is Trudy lightstone,
我今年好乖 and I've been very good this year.
卓迪… Trudy...
卓迪里斯東 Trudy lightstone.
（乖孩子 卓迪里斯東）
（善待動物 聽父母話）
（邀請騎呢小朋友去派對）
（房間整潔 對任何人友善）
是啊，卓迪 Yeah, Trudy.
你在我的乖孩子名單 You're on my nice list.
你今年真的很乖 You've been a very good girl this year.
你在哪，卓迪？ Where are you now, Trudy?
我和所有親戚同在一間大房裡 I'm in a big room with all my relatives.
有兩個持槍壞人看守著我們 There's two bad men with guns watching us.
（百厭星）
還剩六個 Oh, no. Six left.
你會救我們嗎，聖誕老人？ Are you gonna help us, Santa?
會，我當然會救你們 Yeah. Of course I'm gonna help you.
我會…我會救你們出去 I'm gonna get you out of there.
打低百厭星名單上的所有壞人… Take all these bad guys on my naughty list...
我會拿一塊煤… I'm gonna take a lump of coal,
每人送一塊，然後直接塞入… each and every one of them, and shove it straight up...
他們屎窟 The ass.
別這樣，親愛的 I mean, come on, sweetie.
我們想你一直待在乖孩子名單 We want to keep you on the nice list, you know.
對不起，那我可以講「屁眼」嗎？ Sorry. Can I say "butthole," then?
已踩界 I mean, it's borderline.
那「肛門」呢？ How about "anus"?
技術上可以 因為「肛門」是學名… Technically, yes, "anus" is the tech...
好了，聽住，卓迪 Okay, look, Trudy.
我要打電話求助，但電話線斷了 I got to call for help, and the phone lines are down.
你應該比任何人都熟悉這大宅 You probably know this house better than anybody.
你有何建議？ You got any suggestions?
我有計 I have an idea.
好了，你說有個聖誕老人 在大宅走來走去？ All right, you're telling me there's a goddamn Santa claus running around here?
好吧，他看起來很快活 但他到底是誰？ Okay, well, he looks jolly as fuck, but who the hell is he?
僱員名單上沒有聖誕老人 There's no Santa listed on the employee manifest.
還有一件事 Yeah, there's more.
冷霜沒答話，我找不到他 Frosty hasn't checked in. I can't reach him.
繼續試 All right, keep trying.
好了，確定了，果然有地鼠 All right, it's official. We got a gopher ontheloose,
他很危險，大家小心 and he's dangerous. Watch your backs.
艾爾！艾爾！ Ai? Ai?
大劑 Oh, shit.
激氣 Oh, shit!
冷霜，你情況如何？ Frosty, what's your status?
冷霜，答話 Frosty, sound off.
冷霜？ Frosty?
他是…他是我在地牢 遇到的百厭星？ Is that... is that the naughty guy I met in the basement?
你老友死了 Your friend is dead.
他被星星插中臉，然後頭上著火 He got a star in his face, then his head caught on fire.
說來話長 It's a long story.
你是…你是我們的聖誕老哥？ Is this our santy?
我們的…我們的聖誕老人？ Is this our santy claus?
對，沒錯 Yeah, it is.
你是誰？ To whom am I speaking?
今晚我叫守財奴先生 Well, for tonight, I'm Mr. Scrooge.
你到底想要甚麼，聖誕老人？ Now, what is it that you want exactly, Santa?
我想你們放低武器 I want you to put down your weapons,
我想你們放這家人走 I want you to let this family go,
然後我想找回馴鹿 and then I want to find my reindeer,
我想繼續去送禮物 and I want to continue delivering my presents.
你跟我講笑嗎？ Are you fucking with me?
好了，你到底是誰？ All right, who the hell are you really, huh?
看得太多動作片的保安員？ Some security guard who's watched too many action flicks?
廢柴前警察屈尊在商場扮鬼扮馬… Some loser ex-cop stuck in a mall
忍受肥仔在你大腿上癩尿？ 答中就叫我停 playing dress-up with fat kids pissing on your lap? Stop me when I get it right.
事實比這更複雜 It's a little more complicated than that.
對我來說不複雜 Not to me, it's not.
因為這是我的私人任務… 'Cause I want to make it my personal mission,
我的節日待辦事項… my holiday to-do list,
就是要找出你、了結你 to find you and to end you
然後用你和這該死的節日來擦屁股 and to wipe my ass with you and this whole fucking holiday.
那就是我想要的聖誕禮物 聖誕老人 That's what I want for Christmas, Santa.
這是很可怕的聖誕禮物 That is a terrible thing to want for Christmas.
但或許你和我該面對面商量 But maybe you and I should discuss that in person.
「聖誕老人要進城了」 Santa claus is coming to town.
弊 Shit.
好了，你請了誰來派對 扮聖誕老人？ All right, who did you hire to play Santa at your Christmas party, huh?
我說，誰在這該死的聖誕派對 扮聖誕老人？ I said, who's playing Santa at your fucked-up Christmas party?
我沒請聖誕老人 I didn't hire a Santa.
我從不請聖誕老人，太老土 I never have a Santa. Itstacky.
那他是誰？ So, who is he?
他是誰？ Who is he?
最好有人答我 否則打爆你們個頭，用這… Somebody better start talking, or I'm gonna bash her brains in with this...
老天，伽卓迪 你真的很喜歡胡桃夾子 Damn, gertrude. You really got a thing for nutcrackers, huh?
好了，我要折磨你家族每一個人 So, I'm gonna torture everyone in your family
直至你告訴我 誰在你的豪宅 走來走去扮聖誕老人… until you tell me who's running around your mansion
搞亂我檔攤 playing Santa and fucking with my shit.
第一個該選誰？ And who should I pick first?
由年齡最細開始？ Should I go by age?
還是智力最低開始？ Or should I go by IQ?
選積臣，我媽最疼他 Pick Jason. He's my mom's favorite.
﹣對，他 ﹣穿毛衣那個 Yep. Him. The one in the sweater.
好吧，就選積臣里斯東 All right. Jason lightstone it is.
﹣最疼的兒子 ﹣不，等等！ The number one son. No. Wait.
不，我們不需要這樣做，不用 No, we don't need... We don't need to do that. No, it's okay.
不要，不需要這樣，不 No. We don't need to do this.
不，不要 No, dont_.
不，別放…別放…不 No, dont_.Puth_. Dont_.No.
不，不要 No, no, no.
﹣伸手指出來 ﹣等等 Candycane give me this fucking...
爸爸！
我說過了，無人請聖誕老人 I'm telling you, no one hired a Santa.
對，你說得對 All right. You're right. You're right.
停手，停吧 我們在做甚麼？ Let's stop it. What are we doing here? Come on.
來嘛，我們是外行人嗎？ 我們太不專業 What are we, amateurs? We're half-assing this.
來吧，那不是叫手指夾子 Come on. It's not called a finger cracker.
士的糖，塞他半邊膥袋過來 Okay, candy cane. Stick one of his bozaks in there.
我不要碰他的膥袋 I'm not touching his balls.
你突然扮小公主？我見過你挖人腦 What, are you a Princess all of a sudden? I've seen you scoop out brains before.
你想我挖他的腦，我會 You want me to scoop his brains out, I'll scoop his brains out right now,
﹣但我不要碰他的膥袋 ﹣我不管誰去碰 but I'm not touching his junk. I don't care who does it.
我三秒後要見到他爆蛋 I better be looking at flat balls, like, in three seconds.
我來 I'll do it.
聖誕怪魔，好極 Krampus. Perfect.
﹣不要他 ﹣所以我最愛變態佬 Not that guy. Not that guy. That's what I love about sociopaths.
﹣總愛試新事物 ﹣等等 Always up for trying new things. You don't
你們不必這樣，真的 need to do this, okay? No, it's all right.
不，不要…天啊 No. No. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
天啊…天啊 Oh, god. Oh, my god.
放蛋蛋進去…好好味 Put your nuts in. Yummy, yummy.
別再傷害我爸爸 Stop hurting my daddy,
否則聖誕老人會發火 or Santa will get mad.
小妹妹真可愛 Oh. What a cutie.
﹣你知道聖誕老人甚麼事，小妹妹？ ﹣她甚麼都不知道 So, what do we know about Santa, little one? She doesn't know anything about Santa.
他不是問你 He wasn't asking you.
她祇是玩幻想遊戲 She's playing make-believe.
她假裝跟聖誕老人聊天 She's pretending to talk to Santa.
我沒假裝，聖誕老人是我朋友 It's not pretend. Santa's my friend,
﹣他說會來救我們 ﹣不 and he said he's going to save us. No.
﹣還要打殘你 ﹣是嗎？ And beat you up. Oh, is he?
我猜若你叫他出來 他一定不會再躲 I bet he'd come out of hiding if you asked him to, huh?
不如你跟我來，一起和他玩遊戲？ What do you say you come with me and we play a little gamewmwmm? No.
卓迪，快說真話 你沒跟聖誕老人說話 Trudy, come on. Tell him the truth now. You aren't talking to Santa.
﹣我有啊 ﹣不，你沒有，快說 Yes, I am. No, you're not. Come on, now.
﹣我有啊 ﹣激氣！聖誕老人是假的！ Yes, I am. Damn it, Trudy, Santa isn't real!
對不起，寶貝 I'm sorry, honey.
聖誕老人祇是大人用來 哄小朋友，好嗎？ Santa's just a thing adults tell kids to make them feel better, okay?
你媽媽和我給你禮物 然後說是聖誕老人送的 Your mommy and I give you the presents, and we say they're from Santa.
他不會來救我們，他不存在的 He's not coming to save us. He doesn't exist.
全都是編的 It's all made-up.
真的？ Really?
這情況下知道沒聖誕老人真殘忍 Aw. What a way to find out that there's no Santa.
不如復活節時再來 把她的復活兔也毀了？ Hey, let's come back easter and ruin the easter bunny for her, too.
﹣卓迪！ ﹣回來！ Trudy! Come back here!
白癡！待在崗位上 Stop her! Trudy! You idiots, stay at your posts.
卓迪！ Trudy!
我去找那死妹釘 I'll find this little brat.
好了
聖誕老人 Santa.
聖誕老人…聖誕老人！ Santa! Santa!
我是卓迪 This is Trudy.
你還好嗎，聖誕老人？ Are you okay, Santa?
﹣嗨，嘿 ﹣你還好嗎？ Hi. Hey. Are you okay?
我很好 I'm good.
我剛才在包東西 I was just wrapping something up.
我逃到閣樓躲起來 I ran away and hid in the attic.
好吧，若你安全… Okay. If you're safe,
待在那裡，保持安靜，好嗎？ just stay there and stay quiet, all right?
好，我可以設陷阱 Okay. I can set up booby traps,
像《寶貝智多星》一樣 like in home alone.
我不明白你說甚麼 但好啊，設陷阱 Okay, I don't know what that means, but, yeah, do that.
靜靜地設 Just do it quietly.
你真的是聖誕老人？ Are you really Santa?
我當然是，親愛的 Of course I am, sweetheart.
我爸爸說世上沒聖誕老人 My daddy says there isn't any Santa.
他說父母說聖誕老人是真的 祇是為了哄小朋友開心 He says parents just tell their kids that Santa's real to make them feel better.
他說他們送了禮物 但說成是聖誕老人送的 He said they give us presents and say they're from Santa.
是啊 Yeah.
是啊，很多父母都那樣說 Yeah, a lot of parents say that.
但我仍然會送禮物給 需要我的小朋友 But I still bring presents to kids that need me.
真正相信的小朋友 Kids who really believe.
你怎知道誰真正需要你？ How do you know who really needs you?
聖誕魔法啊，但我不太清楚原理 Christmas magic. I'm not really sure how it works.
不過… But, uh...
我記得… I remember
卓迪里斯東寫過信給我 when Trudy lightstone wrote to me.
她當時應該六歲左右 She must have been about six years old,
她說她有時感到孤單 and she said that she felt lonely sometimes.
她想念有好朋友的日子 She missed having a best friend.
於是我送了一隻漂亮的兔公仔給她 And so I brought her a beautiful little stuffed rabbit.
兔先生 Mr. Bunny.
然後我記得第二年 And then I remember the next year,
你說你發了一個美妙的夢，之後… and you said you had this amazing dream and that,
﹣你想要的就祇是… ﹣飛上天！ afterwards, all you wanted to do was... To fly!
飛上天！飛上… To fly. To fly.
我嘛… I mean,
聖誕老人的確有些魔法 但要讓一個小女孩飛上天就太… Santa might have some magic, but... Making a little girl fly?
但送你一隻風箏… But giving you a kite,
在雲中飄浮穿梭… floating just beneath the clouds,
那也一樣很美妙 well, it's about as good as it gets.
我就知道 I knew it.
我就知道你是真的，聖誕老人 I knew you were real, Santa.
別太怪責你父母，好嗎？ Don't be too hard on your parents, all right?
大人都很難再去相信事物 Grown-ups have a hard time believing things.
你可以施聖誕魔法 讓他們再次相愛嗎？ Can you use your Christmas magic to make them love each other again?
我也希望有這樣的法力 I wish I had that kind of power.
聖誕老太和我已結了婚 …一千一百年了 Mrs. Claus and I have been going on year...
而且… 1,100, and...
大人的關係很複雜的 Grown-up relationships are complicated.
要費心維繫 It takes work.
很費心 A lot of work.
你還愛她嗎？ Do you still love her?
愛，我愛她 Yeah, I do.
但有時，即使你想某人快樂… But sometimes, even if you want to make somebody happy...
魔法卻消失了 The magic just goes away.
嘿 Hey.
我有個想法 I've got an idea.
一定好過癮 This will be fun.
你們不如拆自己的禮物？ Why don't you guys open your presents?
我想看看 你們這些富貴賤種送甚麼給對方 I want to see what you rich assholes get each other.
而你們部份人或活不到明天早上 And some of you might not make it till tomorrow morning,
所以這或是你們的唯一機會 so this could be your only chance.
來嘛，你們的聖誕精神在哪？ Come on. Where's the Christmas spirit?
伽卓迪，我送了很特別的禮物給你 Gertrude, uh, I got you something pretty special.
聽到嗎，伽卓迪？ 他送了超正的禮物給你 Did you hear that, gertrude? He got you something amazing.
會是甚麼呢？ What could it be?
天啊，真興奮 Oh, my god, this is exciting.
媽 Mom.
我可以叫你媽媽嗎？ Can I call you mom?
里斯東夫人 Mrs. Lightstone.
好了，在生意上 他們稱這為「募資簡報」 Okay, so in the business, they call this...
（投資者財務計劃）
募資簡報 A pitch deck.
對，這套戲叫《爆炸力》 由我主演 It's called explosive force. Starring me.
而若你看看背面，會有些財務數字 And if you look in the back, there are the financial numbers.
我在亞洲算大明星 I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.
至少在亞洲部份地區是 Parts of Asia, at least.
我們去過亞洲部份地區 連去餐廳都不行 We were in parts of Asia once, and, hke, we couldn't even go to a restaurant.
有甚麼禮物好得過 我送你一個黃金機會？ What is there a better gift than gift of a golden opportunity?
噢，慘了 Oh, no.
外婆不喜歡 Granny doesn't like it.
母親，我也有特別禮物給你 Mother, I got you something really special.
是我出生那天的紀念相 It's a sentimental photo of the day I was born.
我記得 I remember.
我在場 I was there.
她毫不在乎 She doesn't give a shit.
又再擦錯鞋 Swing and miss again!
﹣好過癮 ﹣媽咪，再看另一份？ This is so fun. Mommy, how about another one?
我買了很多好東西，我去拿 I got you a lot of good things. I'll grab one.
艾樺…艾樺，坐下 你已給了我一份 Alva, sit down. You've already given me one. It's...
輪到積臣了 It's Jason's turn.
我好像遺下了在車上 I... I think I left it in the car.
不，我見到你放了一份在樹下 No, I saw you put one under the tree earlier.
﹣不，禮物在… ﹣我真的見到，我可以發誓… No. It's in the... yeah, I did. I could've sworn.
你知嘛，就在… You know what, it's...
你不…你不… You don't... you don't...
這份，對嗎？ It's this one, right? Yeah, I got you, bro.
我幫你拿來了，兄弟，來吧 Come on.
謝謝 Thank you.
是我最喜歡的威士忌 It's my favorite whiskey.
別看那張咭 You can skip the note.
謝謝你，積臣 Thank you, Jason.
咭上寫了甚麼？ What's the card say?
積臣和我知道就行了 I think I'll just keep that between Jason and I.
其他人不需要知 No one really needs to know.
對嗎，積臣？ Right, Jason?
對 Right.
你有過媽媽和爸爸嗎？ Did you ever have a mommy and daddy?
有，我當然有媽媽和爸爸 Yeah, of course I had a mommy and daddy.
我不是一開始就是聖誕老人 I wasn't... I wasn't always Santa claus.
我之前有自己的生活 I had a life before this.
很久、很久、很久以前了 A long, long, long time ago.
他們曾經叫我做… They used to call me...
尼高文 Nicomund.
血紅的尼高文 Nicomund the red.
你那時做另一份工作？ You had a different job then?
是啊，你可以這樣說 Yeah, you could say that.
我是個戰士、侵入者、盜賊 I was a warrior. A raider. A thief.
如果有人擋我路… And if somebody got in my way,
﹣我和碎顱會… ﹣誰是碎顱？ me and skullcrusher would... Who's skullcrusher?
碎顱是我的… Skullcrusher's my...
我的大錘 My hammer.
我最喜歡的大錘 My favorite hammer.
我耍大錘簡直所向披靡 I was a surgeon with that thing.
以前會把三個頭疊起來… Used to be able to take three heads, line 'em up...
但為甚麼？ But why?
甚麼？ What?
你為甚麼要做這些事？ Why'd you do those things?
因為我很刻薄… Because I was mean.
我很貪婪 And I was greedy.
我想要黃金、珠寶 And I wanted gold, jewels.
是的，若那時候有百厭星名單 我一定排首位 Yeah, lmean, if there was a naughty list back then, I'd be top dog.
或許… Well, maybe...
甚麼？ What?
或許你以前做過的所有壞事… Maybe all those bad things you used to do...
或許你可利用它們來做好事 Maybe you can use them to do good things instead.
去幫人 To help.
甚麼意思？ What do you mean?
兔先生，它不僅是玩具 Mr. Bunny, he wasn'tjust a toy.
那晚你給了我想要的禮物 That night, you gave me what I wished for.
一個最好的朋友 A best friend.
因為你很好、很善良 'Cause you're good and kind.
而你的意義，遠不祇是送禮物 And you mean more than just the presents you bring.
所以我才相信你，聖誕老人 That's why I believe in you, Santa.
所以我相信 That's why I believe.
多謝 Thank you.
你繼續躲起來，卓迪 直至我去找你為止 You stay hidden, Trudy, till I come get you.
自己小心 Stay safe.
好了，我們已收到衛星確認 All right, we got satellite confirmation.
營救隊正前來 Extraction team's on the go.
預計三十分鐘後到 Eta, 30 minutes.
進展如期，一切順利 We're on schedule. Everything's good.
好了，各位精神些！精神些！ All right, fellas. Look alive, look alive.
你們都知道計劃 You all know the plan,
我喜歡的行動方式 就像我扑嘢一樣 and I like my operations like I like to fuck.
要狠、要快、要少手尾跟 Hard and fast with minimal cleanup.
好了，若有白癡擋你路 要怎樣做？ Now, some idiot gets in your way, what do you do?
殺了那賤種 Fuck their shit up right!
講得好 Damn right.
是時候上油 Time to lube up.
出發，各位契弟…出發！ Let's go, motherfuckers! Let's go!
這爛鬼家族 This fucking family.
聖誕快樂 Merry Christmas.
﹣節日快樂 ﹣叛徒 Happy holidays. Traitor.
﹣我在東翼發現他 ﹣我們趕來，抓住他 I got him in the east wing. All right, we're on our way. Hold him.
讓開 Step aside.
這疲弱的老肥佬 是怎樣突襲到我們的？ Now, how did this tired, old, fat piece of shit get the drop on us?
﹣我不知道 ﹣他甚至沒武器 I don't know. He's not even armed.
他身上祇有這個袋 This bag is the only thing he had on him.
裡面有甚麼？ What's in there?
甚麼都看不到 Can't see anything.
拿來給我 Here, give it to me.
甚麼白癡會隨身帶著象棋？ What kind of moron carries a chess set with him?
搞甚麼？ What the fuck?
完全不合理，看看這些垃圾 Doesn't make any sense. Look at all this shit.
所以你要告訴我們 這個袋有甚麼竅妙嗎？ So, you're gonna tell us what's the gimmick with the bag?
是魔法 It's magic.
你伸手進去，就有禮物出來 You put your hand in, out comes a present.
我也不太明白原理 I don't really understand how itworks, either.
所以…你就是守財奴先生 So, you're Mr. Scrooge.
沒錯，但你是誰？ That's right. But who are you?
聖誕老公公 Weihnachtsmann.
聖誕精靈 Julenissen.
聖誕老人 Shengdan laorén.
聖誕老爹、聖誕之父、奇斯克林格 Babbo natale, pere Noel, kris kringle.
歡樂的老聖尼古拉斯 Jolly old Saint Nick.
人們有很多名字來稱呼我 People call me a lot of things.
哈哈哈，好搞笑 Very funny.
還是我該說「呵呵呵」？ Or should I say, "ho, ho, ho"?
若你是聖誕老人，你的馴鹿在哪？ If you're Santa, where's your reindeer?
本來在屋頂的 They were on the roof
直到那個被我變成冰串的人… until that guy I turned into an ice kebab just...
你不信我？去看看吧 You don't believe me? Go check.
歡歡在上面留下一坨美味便便 Prancer left a tasty log up there.
這傢伙 This fucking guy.
﹣你不會認為… ﹣我知你是白癡 You don't think...
但別白癡到講出口 Now, I know you're an idiot, but don't be an idiot out loud.
來嘛，他祇是個聖誕癲佬 拿著個爛鬼魔術袋 Come on, he's just in santy claus with a fucking trick bag.
不！那個袋裝滿小朋友的夢想！ Oh, no! That bag was full of kids' dreams!
好心你，人人都知聖誕夢想是謊話 Oh, come on. Everybody knows that Christmas dreams are bullshit.
我爸曾隆重其事慶祝，每年聖誕節 My father used to make a big deal out of it every Christmas.
每個該死的聖誕都準備禮物… Every freaking Christmas with the presents
糖果、裝飾品… and the candy and the decorations
聖誕歌，諸如此類的垃圾 and the Christmas caroling and all that bullshit.
然後當我… And then when I was...
我不記得了 我十或十一歲時， 他被裁員 I don't know, 10, 11, he got laid off,
那年聖誕，我們連一棵樹也買不起 and that Christmas, couldn't even afford a tree.
沒聖誕晚餐、沒禮物，甚麼都沒有 No Christmas dinner, no gifts. Nothing,
沒有…零…全都沒有 nada, culo, dick.
但我們的鄰居… But our neighbors...
鄰居甚麼都有 Our neighbors, oh, they had it all.
我可看到那些聖誕氣氛 穿透窗戶來嘲笑我 I could see all that yuletide cheer through their window, mocking me.
所以到平安夜時… So Christmas Eve rolls around, and...
我等大家都睡著 I waited for everybody to go to bed.
然後我溜進去把一切都拿走 And then I snuck in there to take it all.
但那老爺爺起身去小便 Only problem was that the gramps got up to take a piss
我倆被對方嚇一跳，然後… and the two of us scared the shit out of each other. And,
他摔下樓梯，跌斷頸… he fell down the stairs and broke his neck,
在醫院裡死了 and he died in the hospital.
人人認為是我動手 每次我想解釋… Everybody thought that I did it, and every time I tried to tell them,
想跟他們說… I tried to tell them that...
算了吧，或許是我動手的 Anyway, maybe I did do it.
我或真的推了他，那可憐的老傢伙 Maybe I did push him. Poor old fucker.
所以你明白了？ 聖誕節毀了我的人生，明白嗎？ So, you see, Christmas ruined my life.
但你知嘛？它讓我走上另一條路 令我成為今天的大人物 Okay? But you know what? It set me on the path and made me the great man that I am today.
我很遺憾，占美 I'm sorry, Jimmy.
真心的 I really am.
但我祇負責送禮物、帶來聖誕氣氛 我不干涉人們的生活 But I do gifts. I do Christmas cheer. I don't get involved in people's lives.
是嗎？那或許你他媽的該干涉！ Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, maybe you fucking should!
他怎會知道你的名字？ Um, how did he know your name?
比恩，你又有甚麼藉口？ Bjorn. What's your excuse?
1982年時 我不是送了你想要的單車？ Didn't I get you that huffy bike you wanted back in '82?
你為此寫了五十封信給我！ The one you wrote me 50 times about!
你呢，姬娜？ What about you, Kira?
你迫你細佬食蚯蚓 You made your brother eat worms.
那很百厭！ That's naughty!
他怎麼知道我的單車？ Okay, how does he know about my bike?
祇是撞彩 就像「嘿，你喜歡大胸嗎？」 It's a lucky guess, like, "hey, do you like big tits?"
來嘛，每個細路都想要單車 Come on, every kid wants a fucking bike.
﹣你要說你為誰工作… ﹣老天，不 You're gonna tell me who you work for... Christ. No.
…然後你有五秒鐘講出真正身分 You've got five seconds to tell me who you really are.
五、四、三、二 Five, four, three, two...
我是聖誕老人！ I'm Santa claus!
不再是了 Well, not anymore.
下雪了？ Gingerbread: Is it snowing?
他在施聖誕老人的魔法？ Candy cane: Is he doing this with Santa magic?
下雪吧 Let it snow!
不是雪 It's not snow.
是發泡膠，我早說了 這傢伙是大騙子 It's styrofoam. I told you this guy's a big phony.
他去了哪？ Where'd he go?
他上了煙囪，我見到的 He went up the chimney. I saw it.
我不知道…他或有裝備 或有組滑輪扯他上去 I don't know, he had a rig or some pulley system that just yanked him up.
太窄穿不過，不可能 You can't fit up there. It's impossible.
你看到一件怪事 就當這是童話故事？ You see one weird thing, and then you think you're in a fairy tale?
有人來了，有雪橇鈴聲在接近 Incoming. We've got sleigh bells approaching.
天啊，是他的馴鹿 Oh, my god. It's his reindeer.
是營救隊，你冷靜點 It's the extraction team. Pull yourselves together!
那就是我殺戮小隊的聲音 And that is the sound of my kill squad.
你們死定了 You're fizzity-fucked now.
你打算怎樣？ 你隻廢柴精靈，頂你… What are you gonna do? You little elf bitch.
﹣伯特 ﹣#有福氣 Bertie. Hashtag blessed.
掂啊！ Yeah!
跑酷 Parkour.
殺了他，寶貝 Kill him, babe!
摩根會救我們的 Morgan's gonna save us.
老翻動作巨星剛丟低我們，親愛的 Jean-Claude Van dipshit just ditched us, sweetie.
別開槍 Hold your fire.
橫滾！ Morgan: Barrel roll!
冷靜，冷靜 Easy, easy.
冷靜 Easy. Yeah!
表明身分 Identify yourself.
我是其中一名人質 I'm one of the hostages.
摩根史釗 Morgan steel,
演員 the actor.
我演過很多士兵 Played a lot of soldiers in my career.
我可否講句 「感謝你們為國效力，永遠忠誠」 Can I just say, thank you for your service. Semper fi.
裡面情況如何？ What's the situation inside?
一群前軍事人員 Bunch of ex-military guys,
但我得提醒一句，他們知你們要來 but I got to warn you, they know you're coming.
他們已準備迎戰 I think they're readyforyou.
最好是，我們趕時間 They better be. We're on a tight schedule.
弊 Shit.
大劑
好了，出動 All right, let's move out.
出動 Let's move out.
（百厭星）
有無搞錯 Come on.
你講笑嘛 You got to be kidding me.
嘿，霍普 你們遲了十分鐘，怎麼回事？ Hey, thorp, you're 10 minutes late. What kept you?
看來你的網穿了洞 Looks to me like your net's got a hole in it.
還是你祇是放人質出來做運動？ Or are you just letting your hostages out for some exercise?
不，我們有隻野地鼠在亂竄 No, no, no. We got a wild gopher running around
搞到愈來愈複雜、問題多多 complicating shit and causing problems.
誰？里斯東的保安？ Who? Lightstone security?
應該不是，是個扮聖誕 老人的入侵者 Nah, I don't think so. Some intruder dressed as Santa.
但我要告訴你，他有點古怪 But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, there's something weird about him.
他可能是真的聖誕老人 Might be the real Santa.
﹣她說甚麼鬼？ ﹣沒甚麼，她祇是講笑 Thefud<dm shejustsay? Thmg she's joking.
我的小隊會處理好 My squad will take care of it.
B 隊，去找那混蛋…去！ Beta team, go find this asshole.
好了，我們去拆禮物吧，好嗎？ Now, let's unwrap our present, shall we?
好了，大家聽到阿頭的話 是時候殺聖誕老人 All right, you heard the man. Time to kill Santa.
我找到他了，他在屋頂 I've got him. He's on the roof.
收到，我見到他 Roger that. I got eyes on him.
好了，甜梅，撳掣 Right, sugarplum. Hit that button.
來了 Here we go.
我們的萬能匙 Our skeleton key.
開鎖的魔法棒 The "open" magic stick.
這最好成功 This better fucking work.
我為這次毀了自己的事業、聲譽 I'm flushing my career for this, my reputation.
是嗎？那你可為自己買個新聲譽 Yeah, then you can buy yourself a new rep.
我小時候，實在太喜歡 拆聖誕禮物… As a kid, I loved unwrapping Christmas presents so much
我媽會為我把空盒包成禮物 that my mom would wrap empty boxes for me.
我不在乎裡面空無一物 I didn't care that nothing was inside.
﹣這是玩開笑嗎？ ﹣不是 Is this a fucking joke?
你說裡面會有錢！ You said it would fucking be here!
我跟你說過 I'm telling you,
我的情報非常準確，我有內部線人 my intel was rock solid. I had guys on the inside.
昨天有三億現金 運到了這該死的豪宅 300 million in cash was delivered here yesterday to this fucking mansion.
一定有人截走了 Somebody must've intercepted it.
那賤種 Son of a bitch.
老天 Shit.
聖誕老人，你沒事吧？ Santa, you okay?
聖誕老人？ Santa.
有群新壞人出現 他們都在百厭星名單 A bunch of new bad guys showed up. They're on the naughty list.
他們有一堆裝備和小玩意 They got their gadgets and their gizmos on them.
對不起，我沒辦法了，小朋友 I'm sorry. I think this is it, kid.
不，別那樣說 No, no, don't say that.
那百厭星名單… The naughty list...
愈來愈長 It just grows and grows.
他在那房子裡，開著身上的鏡頭 He's in that structure. Body cams on.
不要放棄 Don't give up.
這次到你許願，聖誕老人 You make a wish this time, Santa.
就這一次 Just this once.
若你可擁有這世上任何東西… If you could have anything in this world,
你想要甚麼？ what would it be?
我希望再見到聖誕老太 I wish I could see Mrs. Claus again,
跟她說我多麼愛她 tell her how much I love her.
那你就讓這願望成真 Then you make that wish come true.
弊 Shit.
不，不要 No, no.
天啊 Oh, god.
不要 No.
你說這些人是百厭星 You said these guys, they're naughty.
那你會怎對待百厭星？ And what do you do to the naughty ones?
我會給他們一塊煤 I give them a lump of coal.
對，送他們煤球 Yeah. Give them their lumps.
把煤塞入他們的… Take that coal and shove it straight up their...
﹣肛門 ﹣無錯！ Anuses. Yeah!
他們在外面 They're right outside.
聖誕老人要解決這群人… Santa's gonna eat through these guys
當食曲奇一樣 like a plate full of cookies.
走，走 Move, move.
嘿，鎖門 Hey, lock it up.
照下面 Lights down.
待在我後面 Stay at my back.
好了，我的錢在哪？ All right, where the fuck is my money?
那些錢呢？ Where's the money?
好了，我直至剛才都客客氣氣 All right, I've been a sweetheart up to now.
但一切都結束了，不再耍花樣！ But that's all over. No more fucking games!
講出錢在哪 否則我開槍逐個殺，享受殺戮 Where's the money? Or I will shoot every last one of you and enjoy it.
在保險庫裡 It's in the vault.
我剛看過保險庫，如果錢在裡面… I just looked in the vault. Had the money been in there,
我就會是另一個表情 I'd have a different expression on my face.
不可能 Impossible.
那保險庫要花幾天才破解到 Takes days to get into that thing.
若我們有鎖匙就不用了 里斯東夫人 Not if we have the key, Mrs. Lightstone.
霍普 Thorp.
這世代甚麼人都不能信任 You can't trust anyone these days.
我不知道如何做到 但你或你的蠢仔女把錢轉走了 I'm not sure how, butyou or one of your shithead kids moved the money.
這令我很不高興 And this upsets me.
我不高興得想隨機向人開槍 It upsets me in a way that makes me want to just randomly shoot at people.
等等，我…不好意思 Hold on. Just... sorry.
怎樣？甚麼事？ What? What?
你隨機射中 唯一知道錢在哪的人怎辦？ What if you randomly shoot the only person who knows where it is?
去你的 Oh, fuck you people!
含啦 Suck on this.
我要些回應，各位 I need some feedback, guys.
各位，到底甚麼事？ Guys, what the hell is going on?
（失去訊號）
老天爺啊 Jesus Christ.
不，我祇是歡樂的老聖尼古拉斯 Nope. Justjolly old Saint Nick.
﹣天啊！ ﹣還給你 Oh, god! There you go.
給你裝假狗 A little stocking stuffer.
在哪？大鑊 Where is it? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
大鑊！ Fuck. Fuck.
大鑊！大鑊！ Fuck.
﹣我一定要看 ﹣大鑊！ I got to watch. Fuck!
黐鬼線 Ho-ho-holy shit.
伽卓迪不相信任何人 她祇會向血親透露那種資料 Gertrude would never trust anybody who wasn't blood with this kind of info.
所以… So...
姻親不會知道 The in-laws wouldn't know shit,
那代表…我可以向她開槍 which means that I can shoot her...
除非你告訴我錢在哪 Unless you tell me where the fucking money is.
﹣求你不要，這是聖誕節 ﹣收聲！ Please don't, okay? It's Christmas. Shut up!
我發誓會射爆她的腦袋 除非你講出那筆錢的下落 I swear, I'll blow her brains out unless you tell me where the money went.
我做的！ I did it!
﹣甚麼？ ﹣好了，是我做的 What? Okay. Yeah, I did it.
﹣我移走那筆錢 ﹣不，別那麼蠢 I moved the money. No, don't be an idiot.
﹣那筆錢是唯一籌碼！ ﹣甚麼？ What? The money's our only leverage.
我老婆被人用槍指頭！ My wife has a fucking gun to her head, so...
你怎發現我們會來？ Yeah, how did you find out that we were coming?
我不知道，我是偷走了 I didn't. I was stealing it.
﹣是啊！真巧！ ﹣天啊 Yeah, coincidence. Oh, my god.
我本打算帶著那筆錢… I was planning to take the money
今晚就帶老婆和女兒離開 and leave with my wife and daughter tonight
永遠不再回來 and never come back here.
然後我媽會看到那張咭… And then my mom would
早上一邊喝著威士忌 然後知我做了甚麼 read the note with her whiskey in the morning and know what I had done.
這些年來我一直告訴你 For years, I have been telling you
別再在乎你媽媽的錢！ to stop caring about your mother's fucking money!
而你認為解決方法就是偷走一大筆 And you think the solution was to steal a bunch of it.
你這樣說起來，好像真的很愚蠢 Well, yeah, it does sound stupid when you say it like that.
你怎能這樣做？真令人嘔心 How can you do this right now?
在母親給了我們這麼多之後？ It's disgusting. After all that mother has given us?
好心你，艾樺 她給我們的一切… Come on, alva. Everything she ever gave you,
都確保我們知道她有能力收回 she made damn sure we knew she had the power to take right back.
我多年來向你卑躬屈膝 I have spent years groveling to you.
與此同時，我正在摧毀 我人生中唯一美好的事 In the meanwhile, I was destroying the only good thing in my life.
我們在做甚麼？ 家庭治療還是搶劫？ What are we doing here, huh? Family therapy or doing a heist?
沒錯，受夠你們分享感受了 Yeah, enough of this sharing bullshit.
好了，你把錢放在哪？ All right. Where'd you put it?
看這小白癡 Look at this little idiot.
﹣慘了 ﹣怎麼了？ Oh, no. What?
壞人找到我了 The bad guys found me.
好吧 Okay.
我現在來 I'm coming.
你知嘛，陷阱要藏起來才有用 You know, booby traps don't work unless you hide them.
你這小笨蛋 You little moron.
老天！黐線！ Jesus! Shit!
救我！救我！ Help me! Help me! Help!
你會沒…你會沒事的 You'll be... You'll be fine.
坐好，我很快回來 Sit tight. I'll be back in a sec.
我殺了那死豆釘就回來 Right after I kill this little piece of shit!
你個死妹釘 You little fucking brat.
你死了！你一定死定！ You're dead! You're so fucking dead!
死豆釘 Fucking piece of shit.
你個死… You little...
我來了！ Incoming!
你個賤… Son of a fucking...
頂 Fuck.
我來抓你了，細路 I got you now, kid.
是嗎？睇頭 Yeah? Heads up.
就這幾招？ That's all you got? You fucking...
玩夠了 Enough of this shit.
聖誕老人！ Santa!
嗨，卓迪，嗨 Hi, Trudy.
我學那套戲設陷阱，好好玩啊 I made booby traps like in the movie. It was so funny.
卓迪，我想你… Trudy, I want you to...
幫我一個忙 Just do me a favor.
轉身，閉上眼 Just turn around and close your eyes.
或許用手指塞住耳朵 然後儘可能大聲唱《聖誕鈴聲》 Maybe put your fingers in your ears, and sing jingle bells as loud as you can.
叮叮噹，叮叮噹 鐘聲四處響 Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way
聖誕節，快快樂樂 oh, how fun it is to ride...
你剛才想殺死一個無辜的小朋友 You were about to murder aninnocentchhd.
﹣無辜？ ﹣太百厭了 Innocent? It's naughty.
﹣好百厭 ﹣祇聽見四周和唱 Naughty.
好百厭！ Naughty!
這是里斯東家族的傳承 我們都是衰人 It's part of the lightstone legacy. We're horrible people.
所以我明白你所為 So I get why you did what you did.
你外公跟我說，絕不把公司交給我 When your grandfather told me I'd never run the company
因為女孩子沒本事 because a girl doesn't have what it takes,
我不得不迫他讓位 ihadto snatch the reins away from him.
但重點是，里斯東 要奪回自己的東西 But the point is, a lightstone takes what's theirs.
我以你為榮，仔 I'm proud of you, son.
好了，到底在哪？ All right, where the hell is it?
錢就藏在裡面 The money's hidden inside.
三位智者獻上乳香… And the three wise men presented him with gifts of frankincense,
沒藥… myrrh...
和現兜兜的銀紙 And cold hard cash.
全部裝起來，各位 Load it up, boys.
好了，我們拿到錢了 All right, we're securing the money.
殺死人質，在外面會合 Kill the hostages and meet us outside.
甚麼？不要 What?
﹣媽 ﹣沒事的，伯特，一切都沒事 Mom. Itsfine, befl. Everything's fine.
好了 Okay.
全部起來 Everybody, get up.
是時候殺人了 It's time for a murder.
別這樣，你不想殺死我們的 你真的不想 Come on. You don't want to kill us. You really don't.
想，我想 Oh, yes, I do.
我非常、非常、非常想 I really, really, really do.
而我要從你開始 And I'm gonna start with you.
﹣不，不要 ﹣等等 No, no, no. Vvam
﹣先殺蓮達舅母 ﹣你搞甚麼，伯特？ you got to kill aunt Linda first. What the hell, Bert?
你臨死都要做衰仔嗎，伯卓迪？ You want to squeeze in being a little shit before you die, bertrude?
﹣我說先射他 ﹣甚麼？ I say shoot him first. What?
等等，不 不要射他，別先射他 Wait. No. Don't shoot him. Don't shoot him first.
你別罵他衰仔，你個拜金八婆 And don't you call him a little shit, you gold-digging bitch.
好，我改變主意 先射死那酗酒八婆 Okay. I changed my mind. Shoot the alcoholic bitch first.
﹣別罵我媽是酗酒八婆 ﹣你媽是酒鬼 Don't call my mom an alcoholic bitch. Your mom's an alcoholic.
﹣你是個拜金八婆 ﹣我拜金？ I'm sorry. You're a gold-digging bitch.
﹣我沒事業嗎？ ﹣你到底來做甚麼？ I'm a gold-digger, when I have a whole-ass career?
你根本不屬於這家族 You're not even part of the fucking family.
﹣她是工程師！ ﹣你該死的很清楚… She's an engineer. You know goddamn well...
收聲！ Shut up!
我根本不知道…
就像一群在桶裡自相殘殺的老鼠 Just like rats in a barrel.
你們不想死得有尊嚴一點嗎？ Why don't you die with some dignity?
走開！ Get off of me!
好了 Okay, okay.
頂你！ Fuck you!
﹣你喝我個仔 ﹣死變態！ This is for yelling at my child! Creep!
這下報復你摑我，死鏟 That's for slapping me, motherfucker!
這下因為你戴頂戇居帽 This is for your dumb fucking hat!
他是不是… Is he...
他是不是死了？ Is he dead?
是啊 Yeah.
謝謝，蓮達 Thanks, Linda.
偶然一家齊心合力也不錯 Well, it's nice to do something as a family for a change.
﹣弊！ ﹣我要… Oh, shit! I'm gonna...
這下為摩根報仇 That was for Morgan.
他可能很蠢，但他非常、非常靚仔 He may have been stupid, but he was very, very hot.
﹣卓迪！ ﹣媽咪！ Trudy! Mommy!
謝天謝地，寶貝 Thank god, baby.
﹣你沒事吧？ ﹣我沒事，媽咪 Oh. Are you okay?
好極 I'm okay, mommy.
這是我朋友，聖誕老人 Okay. This is my friend, Santa.
搞甚麼？ What the fuck?
﹣我很感激你，你是… ﹣聖誕老人，請叫我聖誕老人 I can't thank you enough, mister... Claus. But please call me Santa.
你們該離開這裡，太危險了 You guys should get out of here. It's dangerous.
他們帶走了我丈夫和她的嫲嫲 They took my husband and her grandmother.
﹣誰懂得操作這些玩意？ ﹣我應該懂 Anybody know how to work these gizmos? I think so.
我以前會和爸爸去打獵 I used to hunt with my dad.
收到 Copy that.
﹣情況如何？ ﹣好，一切順利 How's that looking? Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
注意周圍，各位 Heads on a swivel, boys.
有敵人！ Incoming!
睇頭！ Heads up!
誰在開槍？誰… Who's shooting?
隊長，伏下！ Cap, get down!
射死他們，一律射殺！ Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.
好了，快走 Let's get the fuck out of here.
﹣走 ﹣去哪？ Let's go. Go where?
﹣快走，老太婆 ﹣走吧 Come on, move, you old bat.
你放開我 Get your fucking hands off of me.
噢，該死 Oh, shit.
我粒膥！我粒膥！ My balls! My fucking balls!
好了
我粒膥！你點解射我膥… My balls! Why did you shoot me in the ball...
耶穌在上 Jesus.
對不起 Sorry.
別擔心我們，聖誕老人 我們搞得掂 Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus. We got this.
﹣那傢伙是誰？ ﹣他說他是聖誕老人 Who is that guy? He said he was Mr. Claus.
﹣弊！卓迪！ ﹣不…她在屋內，她沒事 Fuck. Trudy. No, no. She's in the house. She's okay.
她安全 She's safe.
﹣謝天謝地 ﹣是啊 Yeah. Oh, thank god.
不，不 No, no.
﹣大劑！大劑！ ﹣不，等等 Go, go, go. No. Wait.
大劑！ Oh, shit!
呵呵！ Ho, ho!
頂！ Fuck!
去死！ Fucking die.
來啊，來啊 Come on. Come on. Come on.
是啊，這邊！來這邊！ Yeah, over here. Over here.
聖誕老人！ Santa!
來啊 Come on!
來啊 Yeah.
頂 Fuck.
（百厭星 占美馬田斯）
（殺死好朋友 令母親傷心）
（小偷 殺人犯 討厭聖誕節）
你是真的？ You're real?
你就是他 You're him.
你就是你 You're you.
我一直都這樣跟你說 That's what I've been trying to tell you.
你是真的聖誕老人 The real goddamn Santa claus.
今晚的主角不是你，老友 This is not your night, pal.
不一定，我覺得你錯了 Oh, I don't know. I think you're wrong.
我認為我潦倒的一生 都是為這刻作準備 I think my whole shitty life's built up to this moment.
因為當我殺了你 這該死的節日終於結束 Because when I kill you, this whole goddamn holiday finally ends.
不惜一切 Whatever it takes...
聖誕今晚起要消失 Christmas dies tonight.
來啊！
來個了斷！
最後一個聖誕節 The last Christmas.
你仍相信就不會消失 Not if you still believe.
不！
我完全不知道這裡發生甚麼事 I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.
但現在要結束了 But this ends now.
你說得對 Damn right it does.
卓迪，小心 Trudy, be careful.
聖誕老人 Santa!
不，聖誕老人 Oh, no. Santa.
慘了 Oh, no.
你救了我女兒 You saved my daughter.
不 Santa: No.
是她救了我 She saved me.
救救他，求你救救他 Help him. Please help him.
親愛的，我不認為我們能做甚麼 Honey, I don't think there's anything we can do.
不要緊，不要緊的 It's okay.
已經太遲了，太遲了 It's too late for that. Too late.
我好凍 I'm cold.
我已很多年沒覺得凍 I haven't felt cold in years.
要幫他保暖 We need to keep him warm.
火快要熄了，要找東西來燒 All of the fires are going out. We need to find something to burn.
我有辦法 Igotanidea.
不，不…積臣，不要 No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.
求求你，聖誕老人，我不想你死 Please, Santa. I don't want you to die.
積臣，先等等，你在做甚麼？ Jason, let's slow this down. What are you doing?
我已比任何人都活得夠久了 I've lived longer than any man should ever live.
他已經瀕死 He's pretty much dead.
你搞甚麼？你不需要燒錢 What the hell is happening? You don't need to burn money.
好了，燒多些 Okay. More. Yeah.
你不能死，聖誕老人，你要起來 You can't die, Santa. You have to get up.
我好像已用光我的聖誕魔法 I think I used up all my Christmas magic.
對不起 Sorry.
我很… I'm
我很抱歉不能送你想要的禮物 I'm sorry I can't give you what you asked for.
拿去，拿去 Take that. Take that.
但你已經送了 But you did.
聖誕老人，求你不要死，醒醒 Santa, please don't die. Wake up.
醒醒 Wake up.
要把他抬近火堆 We need to get him close to the fire.
積臣 Jason.
醒醒啊 Just wake up.
求求你 Please.
不
我非常、非常抱歉 Oh, I am so, so sorry.
這男人… This man...
這非常勇敢的男人，不管他是誰… This brave, brave man, whoever he was...
他是聖誕老人，真的聖誕老人 He's Santa. The real Santa. He is.
而我仍相信他 And I still believe in him.
我永遠都相信你，聖誕老人 I'll always believe in you, Santa.
我也相信他 Ibeheve in him, too.
他救了卓迪 He saved Trudy.
他救了我們一家 He saved our family.
有甚麼比這更真實？ What's realer than that?
那或許… Yeah, and maybe...
我也相信他 Ibeheve in him, too.
我也是 Uh, so do I.
老天，我覺得… Oh. Shit. Iguess_.
我覺得我也是 I guess I do, too.
有無搞錯 Fuck me.
我也相信 I believe, too.
﹣天啊 ﹣聖誕老人！ Oh, my god. Santa!
你… You...
你剛才死了的 You were dead.
聖誕魔法 Christmas magic.
我仍然不太明白甚麼原理 I still don't really understand... How it works.
感謝你 Thank you.
我不知道我們如何報答你 I don't know how we can ever repay you.
你們令我翻生，所以算扯平了 You brought me back from the dead, so we'll call it even.
扯平？我們剛燒了五十萬 Even? We just burned half a million dollars.
看，聖誕老人！看誰來了 Look, Santa! Hmm? Look who came.
你們現在才出現？ Now you show up, huh?
你們丟下我等死 我搞掂好一切才回來？ You leave me here to die, come back after all the work's done, huh?
你知嘛？我該用你們燉湯 再餵給精靈吃 You know what? I should make you guys into a stew and feed you to the elves!
是啊，閃電，我是在對你說！ Yes, blitzen! Yes, I'm talking to you!
還有你，歡歡 You, too, prancer.
你們幫我拿麻袋，我的後備… You got my sack. My spare...
你們回家幫我拿後備麻袋？ you went home and you got my spare sack?
天啊，我嬲唔落 God, I can't stay mad at you guys. I...
我嬲唔落…嬲唔落 I can't. I can't.
（我猜你還需要這個！聖誕老太）
﹣你好，美人 ﹣碎顱！ Hello, beautiful. Skullcrusher!
看來要道別了，我要走了 Guess this is goodbye. I gotta go.
一定要嗎？ Do you have to?
今晚是平安夜 It's Christmas Eve, and there's a lot of
乖孩子名單上有很多小朋友 boys and girls on the nice list
他們都想要禮物，你明白嗎？ that want their presents, you know?
多謝你 Thank you.
多謝我甚麼？ For what?
多謝你信我 For believing in me.
多謝你提醒我聖誕節仍很重要 For reminding me that Christmas still matters.
而我仍然…很重要 And that I still... Matter.
你讓我重拾聖誕精神 You gave me my "ho, ho, ho" back.
好了，走吧 All right. Get out of here.
聖誕快樂！ Merry Christmas!
走了，猛衝、舞者！ 走了，歡歡、雌狐！ Now, dasher! Now, dancer! Now, prancer and Vixen!
出發了，彗星、丘比特！ 去吧，雷、閃電！ On, comet! On, cupid! On, donner and blitzen!
走吧，你們這群美麗的畜牲！ Come on, you beautiful bastards!
我們還有工作要做！ We've got some work to do!
呵！呵！呵！ Ho, ho, ho!
聖誕快樂！ Merry Christmas!
嘿！各位擁躉好嗎？ 我是伯特洛克，在過夢想生活 Hey, yo! What's Gucci, squad fam? It's the Bert locker, living the dream.
看到這傢伙嗎？死到透 You know what? See this guy? Dead as hell.
聖誕老人是真的 別登上百厭星名單 Santa's real, all right? Don't end up on the naughty list.
要乖，伯特里斯東走先 Do better. Bert lightstone out.
翻譯：利慧中