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翻译 佳东 卡卡 李想 17
翻译 OckRazor 渣打毛线
校对 清野 蛋蛋 hopsen 卡卡
校对 OckRAZOR oliver 17
时间轴 卡卡 框
后期 框
压制 清野
Hello, everybody!
大家好
Hello. Greetings. Thank you.
大家好 谢谢
Hi, there.
你们好
Hello! Hello!
你好 大家好
Thank you so much. Thank you.
谢谢大家
Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
十分感谢
And welcome to The Grand Tour
欢迎来到The Grand Tour
which, once again, is in Whitby.
这次我们又来到了惠特比
There is actually a very good reason for that.
原因很简单
It is because these two last week blew up my house,
因为这两人上周炸了我的房子
and I literally have nowhere else to go.
我现在真没地方可去了
Yeah.
是的
Plus... Plus, James May lost the tent bag.
另外 詹姆斯•梅还弄丢了他的帐篷包
- Soz. - Yeah, he did.
-是哦 -没错 是他干的
He did do that. Anyway, erm...
他确实丢了 不管怎样
we were reminiscing, as we've been here all week,
这周 我们回忆发现
and we worked out that Yorkshire is the only place on earth
约克郡是世上唯一的
where all three of us have had a car crash.
我们仨都撞过车的地方
So what was yours?
你那次撞了什么
A Triumph 2500 rolled over.
撞翻了凯旋2500摩托车
- Yeah. Hammond? - My first car.
-哈蒙德你呢？ -撞坏了我的第一辆车
And my second car.
以及第二辆
My mum's car, my dad's car,
我妈的车 我爸的车
my third and fourth cars,
我的第三 第四辆车
my first four motorcycles,
我的前四辆摩托车
the Radio York radio van,
约克台广播车
the Radio Leeds radio car,
利兹台广播车
and a jet-powered dragster.
还有辆直线加速火箭车
Oh, yes.
哦耶
All of those. Busy.
就这些 我很忙的
And, erm... And what about you in Yorkshire?
你呢 在约克郡撞啥了
Well, me, I'll tell you. No, 1977,
我告诉你 在1977年
when the driving examiner said to me,
当驾校考官告诉我
"Congratulations, Mr Clarkson, you've passed,"
祝贺你 克拉克森先生 你通过了
what I heard was, "Congratulations, Mr Clarkson,
我听到的却是 祝贺你 克拉克森先生
you are the best driver I've ever seen."
你是我见过最好的司机
- Oh, no. - 36 hours later -
-哦不 -36小时后
That's all it was, 36 hours I'd been on the roads -
只有这么久 36小时 我在路上
stuffed my mother's Audi.
搞坏了我母亲的奥迪
Wheels came off, killed a sheep.
轮子掉下来 杀死了一只羊
So, if you're the farmer, sorry about that.
如果你是那个农场主 那抱歉了
Er... Anyway, I'm glad we're still in Yorkshire,
总之 很高兴我们还在这里
because last week
因为上个星期
we said there was no real motoring connection
我们说到这里的汽车交通
with the county
很不发达
and it turns out that's not true.
后来证明这是错的
I was reading Trip Advisor last night.
昨天晚上我在浏览猫途鹰
Now, Trip Advisor is a website
现在使用猫途鹰的
for the mealy-mouthed and the bitter.
都是些刻薄尖酸的人
Well, hang on. I mean, it's not entirely...
等等 也不是完全
No, seriously, it's useless apart from anything else
不 说真的 它真没用
because you have to know someone
因为你在认识某人之后
before their opinion is relevant.
才能知道他的观点是否值得参考
I mean, I know Hammond, OK?
比如说 我认识哈蒙德
So if he tells me a restaurant's great,
如果他告诉我某家餐厅很棒
I know I don't want to go there
打死我也不会去
because it'll be rubbish.
肯定会很垃圾
You're absolutely right, actually
你说的太对了
because that bloke in the hat over there,
比如那边戴帽子的小伙子
I don't care how many stars he gives Oxfam Whitby
不管他给惠特比乐施会多少星
I'm not going there.
我都不会去的
Exactly. Anyway...
确实 不管怎样
I went on Trip Advisor, OK
我在看猫途鹰
and there was a review of Whitby.
有一则关于惠特比的评论
And it said, and I'm quoting here,
我引用一下 他说
"One aspect of Whitby
"惠特比给人的一个印象
" is the large number of local chavs..."
是数量惊人的当地小混混
"...who drive around the town in a circuit
他们开着巨吵的车
in their noise-enhanced cars."
绕着这个小镇兜圈"
Already, I don't like this person.
我已经开始不喜欢这人了
"They accelerated down the narrow streets"
"他们在狭窄的道路上加速
and then slowed their engines down quickly
然后在快到路口的时候
as they approached a junction,
猛刹车
"causing explosive-sounding backfiring."
发出爆炸般的引擎回火声"
He sounds like a right knob.
他听上去就像个智障
Of course he's a right knob,
他当然是啊
he's leaving a message on Trip Advisor.
他在猫途鹰上留言哎
Anyway, the police
不管怎样 警察
the police, the local police here -
当地警察
they've decided they've had enough of people
他们决定 他们受够了这些人
how they put it
他们这样描述
"...driving away in a manner
"以一种让轮胎滑行"
"that causes their wheels to spin and screech."
"和尖叫的方式来驾驶"
OK? So they decided to have a clampdown.
所以他们决定镇压
But, and this is the quote I love,
但是这句引用我喜欢
"The operation was curtailed due to poor weather."
"由于天气状况恶劣 行动取消"
What, are they saying...
所以他们是说
They didn't go out because it was raining?
外面下雨啦 干脆别出去了
No, law enforcement in Whitby is like cricket.
不 惠特比警察就像蟋蟀
Everybody just goes inside if it starts to drizzle.
毛毛雨就让人躲到屋里去了
So this is... This is the Whitby Town
那么 我们说的是
Police we are talking about here?
惠特比警察对吧
- Yeah, the WTPD. - Yeah.
-是的 所谓WTPD -是的
No, hang on a minute
不对 别急
this is North Yorkshire. It's NYPD.
这里是北约克 应该是NYPD
Wow! It actually is! It's the NYPD!
-哇 还真是 -这可是NYPD
That would be a brilliant police drama.
这会是部很棒的警察剧
"Right, Constable,"
"好了 各位警官
I've had the Chief Constable, he's chewed my arse,
警长对我很不爽
"the Mayor's chewed his arse, now we'll chew your arse."
市长对警长很不爽 因此你们的后果很严重
"We've got these lads - well, chavs -
我们这有些小姑娘 小混混 他们天天搞事
"that are doing, like, wheel screeches,
比如让轮胎尖叫
and you've got 48 hours to solve it
你有48小时来搞定他们
or I'll have your badge and your truncheon."
不然我就没收你的警徽和警棍
Anyway, on our car show tonight...
总之 在我们今晚的汽车节目里
a tree falls over...
一棵树倒了
...a hedgehog makes a noise...
一只刺猬发出了声响
...and a dog eats some meat.
还有一只狗在吃肉
But we begin with Porsche.
但是我们要先谈谈保时捷
They offer an immense complicated range of cars
他们的911系列中
all under the 911 banner.
有着数量庞大的各式车型
Now, Porsche enthusiasts
如今 保时捷脑残粉们
by which I mean these two imbeciles,
也就是这俩蠢货
say that they're all slightly different.
说这些车型都有些许的差异
Completely different.
完全不同
No, slightly different,
不 稍有不同
and that the best of the bunch is something called
而它们中最出色的一辆
the GT3 RS.
叫做 GT3 RS
So I thought I'd take it to our track
所以我想应该把它带到赛道上
to see what it was like.
拉出来溜溜
And let's just hope that, for once in your life,
我真希望你在有生之年能有一次
you haven't behaved like a child.
别表现的像个孩子
What do you mean?
你这是什么意思
- Well, just said it's no good because I've got one.
干脆直接说这车很烂 因为我有一辆
Hammond, I am a professional motoring journalist
哈蒙德 我是专业的汽车新闻工作者
and coming up...
我要说...
Amongst other things.
除了这个
Coming up now is my professional review.
我将要提出我的专业观点
This is the car in question.
这就是我们讨论的车
No, wait. Sorry. Hang on.
不 等等 抱歉 稍等
It's easy to be confused.
这有点容易搞混
This is it.
这才是
The hottest, hardest,
最火辣 最硬朗
tightest 911 of them all...
最紧凑的911
...and the most exotic.
也是最梦幻的
It has the fattest back tyres
它的后胎是我在公路车中
I've ever seen on a road car.
见过的最宽大的
It has scaffolding in the back for stiffness,
后面有防滚架增加刚性
carbon-fibre body panels for lightness.
碳纤维的车身让它更轻
The roof is made from magnesium,
车顶是用镁做成的
so if you turn it over and there are sparks,
如果你把车翻过来 车顶会磨出火花
there will be a blinding flash of light,
就会发出闪瞎眼的光
and then you will have a convertible.
于是你得到了一辆敞篷车
Like many people
和很多人一样
I don't really like the idea of the Porsche 911
我并不欣赏911这种风格
and I certainly don't like the people who drive them.
而且也不喜欢那些开这车的人
I find them flawed, in some dark
我觉得他们有些缺点
and rather disgusting way.
在不为人知的那一面
But I will grudgingly admit
但我勉强承认
that even the basic cooking models are...
即使在最基本的驾驶模式
extremely lovely to drive.
开起来也十分惬意
They're...
它们
They're just very good sports cars.
它们真的是很好的跑车
But what about this one?
那这辆如何呢
Well...
好吧
Let's find out.
让我们来看看
Straight away, I can tell you the engine...
实话实说 这台引擎
is incredible.
实在太不可思议了
There's no turbocharging.
没有涡轮增压
It's just a four litre flat-six, but...
只是台4.0升的水平对置六缸机 但是
you get 500 horsepower.
它有500马力
And its red line at 9,000rpm.
而它的转速红线是9000
9,000!
9000转啊
That's bike territory.
那可是摩托车的标准
But the best thing is the way it goes round corners.
但最棒的是 它的过弯姿态
Because it's got four-wheel steering
因为它有四轮转向
and because the engine is sitting right over the rear axle,
又因为引擎被放在了后轴正上方
the grip is just astonishing.
抓地力简直令人惊叹
I've engaged all the hero buttons down here
我开启了所有增强型按钮
turned all the electronic driver aids off
关闭所有辅助驾驶
and let see if I can unstick it.
看我还能否驾驭
In here far too fast into Swindon Swings.
这里飞速驶入"斯文顿发春"弯
赞助商斯文顿之春 园艺中心 故意读作Swings(有滥交之意)
Not "Swings," that's something completely different.
并没有浪起来啊 这里很不一样
But, anyway, no loss of traction at all.
但是 抓地力一点不少
I thought, when I read the spec sheet on the RS,
当我读参数表的时候 我以为
that Porsche had tried to make a supercar,
保时捷要造一辆超跑
a rival for Ferrari
抗衡法拉利
and McLaren and Lamborghini, but they haven't.
迈凯轮和兰博基尼 但是他们并没有
It's still a sports car.
它仍是一辆跑车
It's still chuckable and deft.
它依然易操控 灵性十足
Whoa! It's very, very good.
哇 它真的非常非常棒
Annoyingly.
真烦人
But... is it as good as this,
但是它和这辆一样好吗
the BMW M4 GTS?
宝马 M4 GTS
Like the Porsche
和保时捷一样
it's made from exotic lightweight materials...
车身由特殊超轻材料制成的
and fitted with scaffolding instead of back seats,
后排也被防滚架取而代之
and enormous tyres.
还有超宽的轮胎
It looks good.
看上去很美
But there are some problems.
但存在一些问题
When you arrive at a small speed hump in the Porsche
当你开着保时捷穿过减速带时
you raise its nose electrically and all is well.
电动升起车头 搞定了
But when you arrive at the same hump in the BMW...
但开着宝马 面对同样的减速带
you will need a team of men to fold away the spoiler
你需要一堆人把前扰流板收起
and adjust the ride height.
再升起车身
This takes several hours.
这些要花上几个小时
There are some other issues as well.
而且还有别的问题
To give owners the sense they're driving a racing car,
为了给车主一种驾驶赛车的感觉
all of the storage bins have been removed.
所有的储物空间都被拆掉了
There's no cubbyhole here, no door pockets.
没有扶手箱 没有储物槽
That means there's nowhere to put anything.
没有什么地方放东西
And I think that, on a day-to-day basis
我觉得从日常使用来讲
that would drive you a bit mad.
绝对能把你逼疯
Then there's the ride, which is extremely bumpy,
至于驾乘感受 那是相当的颠
and the drone from the tyres, which is horrendous.
而且轮胎的嗡嗡声 太可怕了
After ten minutes on a motorway,
在路上开了10分钟后
you will have a headache
你肯定会头疼
and you won't have any headache pills with you,
而你却不能吃止痛药缓解
because there was nowhere to put them.
因为没地儿放药啊
Now, at this point, I would normally use the word "however"
通常说到这里 我会说"然而"
and start talking about the car's good points.
接着开始对车的优点侃侃而谈
However...
然而
I can't, because...
我做不到 因为
I'm struggling to find any.
我实在找不到
The engine, for example, has water injection,
举个例子 这车有水喷射系统
which sounds cool.
听起来很酷炫
But it means that every third time you fill the car with fuel,
但这意味着每加三次油
you have to fill a water tank in the boot.
就要给后备箱的水箱加水
I don't know, but I'm not sure
我虽然不懂 但我觉得这么做
this is very hi-tech.
科技含量不高吧
And then there's the steering
然后说说转向
which in comfort mode is horrid
舒适模式下极其糟糕
and in sport setting is even more horrid.
然而在运动模式下更可怕
That said, the steering wheel is nice.
即便如此 这个方向盘非常棒
It's good and thick. It's...
它质感好又厚实
It's like holding onto something from the Ron Jeremy range.
Ron Jeremy:成人男星 天赋异禀
就像握住了罗恩杰里米的那玩意
And the seats aren't bad.
座椅也不算太糟
But other than that...
但除此之外
No.
没了
A point that becomes even more obvious
有一点变得尤为明显
when you go into battle against the Porsche.
当你对阵保时捷的时候
We both have around 500 horsepower,
两车都有着差不多500马力
both have a top speed of around 190,
都有着差不多304km/h的极速
but the Porsche is a lot lighter.
但是保时捷要轻得多
Probably because it doesn't have a tank
大概因为保时捷后备箱里
full of water in the boot.
没有装满水的水箱
Struggling to keep up now.
想跟上它都很难了
Here we go, into Swindon.
来到了斯文顿弯
Oh, "Springs"!
哦 原来是Springs啊
A pampas grass shop.
一家卖园艺的店
Oh! We're having... God, that's nasty.
啊 我要滑出去了 天啊 好险
This is not a car that responds well
这车的反应可不够好
to my rather brutal driving style.
对我这种野蛮的开车风格来说
The problem is...
问题是
it doesn't really respond very well to delicacy, either.
就算谨慎小心的驾驶风格 它的反应也不好
This competition here now between these two cars
这两辆车之间的竞争
is like a boxing match between an actual boxer
就像是一场专业拳击手
and someone who thinks they're a boxer
和自认为是拳击手的人之间的比赛
because they're wearing satin shorts.
只因为他们都穿丝绸裤衩
How did BMW get this thing so wrong?
宝马怎么把这车做得烂成这样
Oh, God!
哦天哪
It's twitchy, it's unpredictable.
它暴躁 难以预测
And in the rain,
而且在雨里
it's somewhere between spiteful and undrive...
这车介于恶意满满和完全不能
Oh, God! ...undriveable.
天哪 完全不能驾驶之间
But, that said, this has to be the winner of this test
虽然如此 这车还是赢了
because Richard Hammond...
因为理查德哈蒙德
...has got one of those.
有这么一辆
I called it.
我就说嘛
That was annoying.
太讨厌了
That was a professional review.
这可是非常专业的测评
At points.
也就在几点上
But you were doing so well,
但是你本来做的挺好的
and then you ruined it at the end.
直到最后把结尾给搞砸了
What do you mean, ruined it?
什么意思
By saying you'd have a worse car
你选了最差的那辆车
because I haven't got one.
因为我没有买这辆
- That Porsche wounded me. - Wounded you?
-那辆保时捷伤了我 -伤你哪了
It did wound me
确实伤了我
you know, it's got so much grip
因为 你知道这车抓地力很强
that you're sort of forced into the seat?
以至于你有点被按在了椅子上
And the seat's got stitching on it
然而座椅还有针脚在上面
which digs a hole in your back.
能把你后背磨个洞
I've got a picture of what it did. Look at this!
有图为证 它都干了什么 看这个
That's my back!
那是我的后背
Oh, I'm amazed you weren't hospitalised with that!
你居然没住院治疗 我好惊讶啊
That's horrific!
太可怕了
- That is a savage wound!
绝对的重伤啊
-Mine's never done that to me.
我的车没这样啊
That's cos you're a midget!
因为你是侏儒
You don't reach that high up the seat.
够不到那么高啊
Or maybe you're a freak and sit in the wrong place.
或者因为你就是怪胎 还坐错了地方
It's not just the fact it wounds you.
不仅是它会伤人
Also, the Porsche's more expensive than the BMW.
而且保时捷比宝马贵
Yes, but I'd rather spend 131,000 on the Porsche
对 但是我宁可花13万1千镑买个保时捷
than 120,000 on a BMW
也不想花12万买个宝马
that's not very good on the road not very good on a track
在公路和赛道上表现都不好
and no good at all in the rain.
而且在雨里特别烂
Yeah, no, that's fair enough.
好吧 你说的都对
- Hold on. - What?
-等等 -咋了
I've got to the bottom of the problem with the BMW.
我找到了宝马问题的根本所在
It's right here in the blurb.
就在这个广告上写着
"Developed on the Nurburgring."
在纽博格林开发
Yeah, and, actually, speaking of tracks,
是啊 其实说道赛道
it's now time to hand the M4 over
是时候把M4交给
to a man who thinks that sparkling water is basically communist.
觉得气泡水基本就是共产党的哥们了
Yeah, time to give it to the American.
嗯 是时候把它交给那个美国佬
There he is.
他来了
And he's off! No messing.
他出发了 并没有出岔子
Parps from the exhaust on the upshifts
排气因为升档发出了啪啪声
as he attacks the Isn't Straight.
随着他驶入不直弯
I wonder if he actually knows what he's in.
他知道自己在开什么车吗
Driving a BMW.
开宝马啊
British Motor Works.
不列颠汽车的结晶
So, that's a no, then.
看来他并不知道
OK, continuing up the Isn't.
接着攻入不直弯
They say it's got more power.
他们说这车马力更大了
Than what, my damn toothbrush?
跟啥比的 我的电动牙刷吗
OK.
好吧
Right to the end of the Isn't now,
现在向右驶入不直弯的末端
and into Your Name Here.
进入了留你名弯
Hard on the brakes, keeping it all in check,
大脚刹车 把车保持在可控范围内
and surely he'll appreciate the turbos
我敢肯定他会感激
punching him out of the corner.
把他推出弯角的涡轮的
Turbos on an engine is
引擎加了涡轮增压
God's way of telling you it ain't got enough cylinders.
就是老天爷告诉你气缸数量不够
My mistake. Right, back up the Isn't.
我的错 好的 回到不直弯
Really winding up that straight-six.
直六引擎全速运转
I must admit, from the outside, it sounds good.
我不得不说 在外面听起来声浪很不错
And already he's turning in hard,
他开始大力转向
round the Unexploded Bomb,
绕着哑弹
into the narrowness of Old Lady's House.
进入了老奶房的窄弯
Yeah, back on the power for the bumpy bit towards Sub Station.
踩油通过颠簸路段驶向地铁站
Idiotic splitter in peril over the ruts.
愚蠢的扰流板惊险的掠过车辙
Now working the ceramic brakes hard
现在大脚踩下陶瓷刹车
for the tight left.
通过狭窄的左弯
Tickle of power. There it is.
轻轻给油 出弯
And left again into Field Of Sheep.
再一次左弯来到羊圈
A whiff of oversteer, and across the line!
稍微一点转向过度 然后冲过终点
It looked tidy.
看走线很紧凑
Yeah, it looked all right.
看着还行
It looked tidy. Right...
很紧凑 好了
Let's bring up the er...
让我们打开
Let's bring up the leader board, if we can.
让我们把圈速榜打开 如果可以
Now, there we are. We've already had
现在 我们看到了
the 911 GT3 RS round.
我们之前已经测试了911GT3RS
Wha... And you're not gonna show the lap?
啥 你为啥不给我们看跑圈
Nobody's interested in watching an American
没人愿意看一个美国人
being sawn in half by a glorified Beetle.
被美化过的甲壳虫锯成两半
It did 1:20.4.
它跑了1分20秒4
Right, so, now let's see what the M4 did.
现在我们看看M4的表现
Let's put the time up. There it is.
咱们把圈速放上去 就在这
Two seconds slower, and that's a short track.
慢了两秒 这还是个短赛道
That's unbelievable. That's not good, is it?
真是难以置信 这车不咋地 是吧
No. It's only a second faster than a Porsche 718.
并不咋样 它只比保时捷718快了一秒
I know. I mean, I admire BMW
我知道 我是说我钦佩宝马
for trying with that car. I really do.
为这辆车所做的努力 我真的这么觉得
But, my God, they've made a hash of it.
但是我的天啊 他们搞砸了
In fact, I'm trying to think of a metaphor
事实上 我打算想一个暗喻
for someone who's really tried their hardest with something
为那些因为某些东西付出了最大努力
自嘲 为TG付出了很大努力但只好另起炉灶 亦或指 节目中三人经常做出吃力不讨好的挑战
and it hasn't worked.
却没有做到的人
No, nothing's coming to mind.
没有 啥都没想到
I've got nothing. I've got nothing.
什么都没有
I've got nothing at all.
什么都没想到
So, let's... Let's move it on.
所以 让我们继续吧
It's time for us to make a gentle left into Conversation Street.
是时候左转来到我们的唠嗑街
OK. Right, I want to begin with the new Ford GT.
好的 我想从新福特GT说起
You've got a picture of it here. Now, this is...
这里有张它的图片
Well, you remember the last GT they did.
你们记得上一款GT
That was just an homage, really, to the old GT40.
那只是个对老GT40的致敬
This one, they say, is actually a racing car on the road.
而这辆 他们说 是一辆真正的公路赛车
It's got a twin-turbo, 3.5 litre V6,
它有双涡轮 3.5升的V6引擎
seven-speed flappy-paddle box,
7速拨片换挡
more than 600 horsepower.
有超过600的马力
The problem is, though, I can't think of any racing car
问题是 我想不到任何的赛车
that works on the road, really, ever.
在公路上也适用 真的 从未
No, they don't.
它们做不到
I mean, the Nissan GTR: fabulous, fabulous car.
我是说 尼桑GTR 一辆极好极好的车
Rubbish. It's undriveable.
在路上垃圾 完全不能开
You know, it's a very good point,
你知道 有个很好的观点
because a racing car on the road
因为在公路上的赛车
is a bit like trying to play tennis with a cricket bat.
有点像用板球拍打网球
It's technically possible...
技术上可行
Two totally different disciplines.
但完全是两个规则
The only trouble is, that looks so good, I do find myself going...
问题是这辆车看起来太棒了 我觉得我要
Mm. You erm... You bought the last GT, didn't you?
那个 你买了上一代福特GT对吧
Yes.
是的
Thank you for reminding me, Hammond. Yes, I did.
谢谢你提醒我 哈蒙德 我买了
Did that go well for you? - No, it didn't.
-开得还好么 -不好
Oh, did it not? - No, it didn't.
-噢 是吗 -对 不好
The problem was the insurance company
问题在于保险公司说
said it had to have a burglar alarm,
我必须要装个报警器
which blew usually
每次我女儿排校园剧
when my daughter was doing the school play and ruined it,
报警就乱叫 然后毁了排练
and it had to have a tracker.
而且还得配追踪器
And there is nothing on God's earth more annoying than a tracker.
这世上没什么比追踪器更讨厌了
But I've got a tracker. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.
我就有个 一点也没烦到我呀
No, that's because you'll have a little special place
因为你会在门厅桌上
on your hall table with a pencil outline.
有个位置专门放它
"I've got my keys and must remember to take my tracker."
带上钥匙 别忘了还有追踪器
Because you're organised and I'm not.
因为你有条理 而我没有
One for your tracker, one for your keys
这里是追踪器 这里是钥匙
one for your little penknife.
这里是你的小铅笔刀
One for some change in case you need it.
一些零钱 以备不时之需
Yeah, with 10ps and 2ps.
-没错 10便士的 2便士的
And a tiny screwdriver for mending your glasses.
还有一个修眼镜的小螺丝刀
- He will. Oh, he will. - No, I won't.
-他真会这样 -我才不是呢
No, it lives in a... It just has a little pouch.
不是 它一直被放在一个小袋子里
You just hang it on the hook.
直接挂到钥匙链上就好了
- Oh, does it? - You've got a pouch?
-谁信啊 -你还有个小袋子
He's got a pouch for his tracker.
他还给追踪器配了个袋子
Especially for the tracker?
是专门放追踪器的吗
- Well, yeah, because... - What's it made of?
-当然了 因为 -什么材质的
- Well, leather, I suppose. - A little leather pouch.
-我记得是皮的 -一个小皮袋子
Did you make it yourself?
是你亲手做的吗
- No, it came... - A little leather pouch.
-不 它是 -那个小皮袋子
It came with the car, believe it or not.
它是随车赠送的 爱信不信
Oh, so Ferrari sold it to you.
这么说是法拉利卖给你的喽
Was it?600? I bet it was.
多少钱 我猜是600镑
No, it just came with the car!
没有 真是随车赠送的
I don't think Ferrari give it away!
我才不信法拉利有这么大方呢
The stripes on your Ferrari, OK?
你那辆法拉利上面的条纹
Two stripes, a bit like on that Ford.
那两道条纹 跟福特上面的有点像
There are two stripes. How much did you pay for those stripes?
就那两道 你花了多少钱
Well, they were an option. They were 6,000.
那个是选配项 6000镑
Look. Listen, this is why I drive a Golf GTI, OK?
你看 所以说我开是高尔夫GTI
Because you don't need an alarm
因为你不需要报警器
you don't need a tracker
也不需要追踪器
and it's five insurance groups lower down
而且比上一代GTI
than the previous Golf GTI level.
低了五个保险等级
- Wow! - It is!
-哇 -真的
It's because you can't crash it.
因为你不会撞坏它
I bet I could.
我肯定能
Anyway
好了
have you two seen
你们知道
have you two seen those new pedestrian traffic lights
特拉法加广场上面
in Trafalgar Square?
新装的行人信号灯吗
Which, if you're watching America is in London, which is in Britain.
在美国的观众朋友们 说的是英国伦敦
Are these... Yes.
是那个 噢
These are the ones that have got the two blokes on them, isn't it?
是上面有两俩男人的信号灯吗
James, don't be sexist!
詹姆斯 你这是性别歧视
- Why is that...? - No, because what if you're a lesbian?
-怎么就 -如果你是女同性恋呢
Well, you would put two women on it.
那就换两个女人上去
Well, then what if you're straight?
如果你是直的呢
- A man and a woman? - But traffic lights are only this big.
-一男一女 -但是信号灯只有这么大
You can't have a man and a man, a man and a woman,
你不可能同时显示两男人 一男一女
a man who isn't sure, and a woman and a woman...
一个不确定性别的 再加上两女人
What if... What if you just want to cross the road?
如果 如果你只是想过马路呢
What... It's like being in the '70s with you two!
你们两个简直还活在70年代
Crossing the road
现在过马路
is now an opportunity for you to express your sexuality.
是展现自己性征的机会
It is. That's why
就是 所以他们才会
they've come up with these traffic lights in London.
在伦敦装这种信号灯
What are they for?
这是做什么的
No, they really have. They really have.
相信我 他们装了 真的装了
- They're real? - They are for real.
-是真的吗 -都是真的
What's that one on the right, then?
右边那个是什么意思
Hello! Transgender.
当然是变性人群体了
What? So, hang on, only tran...
什么 等一下 只有
- Yeah. - What?
-没错 -怎么了
Transgender traffic lights.
跨性别者信号灯
- I didn't know that. - So only...
-我还真不知道 -所以只有
Only transgender people can cross when that's green?
只有变性人才能在它变绿的时候过马路吗
No!
不是
When it goes red, does that mean
那当它变红的时候 是否就意味着
it's not OK to be transgender?
跨性别是不被允许的
That's a good point.
说得好
I don't know what happens when it goes red.
我也不知道变红的时候是什么意思
No way they're gonna say, "It's not a..." I don't know.
他们肯定不能说 呃 我也不知道
And what has any of this got to do with crossing the road?
那这些跟过马路有关系吗
That's all you want to do.
你只想过马路
It's nothing to do with expressing your sexuality.
不是为了展现性征
It's the wrong time. I want to cross the road.
这不是展现的时候 我只想过马路
All I want to do at that point
我在信号灯变绿的时候 心里想的
is work out how to go to the other side.
就是该如何跨到那边去
go to the other side亦有变性之意
And by that I don't mean...
我刚刚的意思不是
No. I don't..
我不是那意思
I mean...
我是说
...of the road.
路的那一边
Maybe you're right, it is.
没准你是对的 就是这样
Right, now, can I talk about Alfa Romeo?
好了 我可以聊两句阿尔法罗密欧吗
- No. - Why?
-不行 -为什么
Because we have to introduce our next film.
因为接下来该介绍我们的影片了
Now, as we know, in recent years the world's carmakers
众所周知 近些年各大汽车厂商
have made great strides to make more fuel-efficient
在研发更经济和环境友好型
and environmentally-friendly car engines,
的发动机方面成果显著
but very little has been done to make more
但在制造更加环保的
environmentally-friendly car bodies and interiors.
车身和内饰方面下的功夫却很少
Yeah, by and large, they are still made of steel and plastic,
没错 总的来说还是以钢材和塑料为主
and that consumes a huge amount of energy.
而这会消耗很多的能量
So we had an idea.
于是我们就有个了想法
Are there more sustainable materials that could be used instead
能不能把它们替换成其他永续材料呢
Well, to find out, each of us bought a Land Rover Discovery.
为了验证这点 我们每个人都买了一辆路虎发现
We then removed its metal body
去掉它们的金属车身
and replaced it with whatever we thought was the best solution
并替换成我们认为能够保护地球的
for the future of the planet.
最佳解决方案
The meeting point was in Wales,
集合点选在了威尔士
and I was the first to arrive,
我是第一个到的
in a car made from mud.
开着一辆泥巴做的车
But, sadly, before I had the chance to tell you anything about it,
可惜我还没来得及做介绍
Hammond arrived.
哈蒙德就到了
Oh, yeah. Let me talk you through this.
让我来讲讲
What I've done, I've built a frame out of hazel,
我用榛木搭了个框架
through which I have weaved English flowers and shrubs.
中间穿插编制着许多英国的花卉和灌木
It's basically a hedgerow.
基本上就是个灌木篱墙
Better still, it is growing, because I've planted them
更妙的是 这些都是我种的 它们还会生长
so it's got compost and soil to provide the nutrients required
这里有肥料和土壤给它们提供营养
to let my car flourish and bloom.
让我的车生机盎然
You don't... You don't wash this car
你并不是在洗车
you water it.
而是在给它浇水
It's alive. It's brilliant, isn't it?
它是活的 多棒的主意啊
- Clematis? - No, it's cleared up.
-还长了铁线莲 -修剪过的
- Have you become a hippie?
你在向嬉皮士靠拢
No, but I can feel it starting inside me.
不 但我觉得有这种趋势
- What have you done? - Well...
-你的呢 -那个
Sadly, before I could tell him,
可惜 我还没来得及说
Jeremy arrived... in a snuff movie.
杰瑞米就来了 画风有点不一样
Gentlemen, I can see what's happened. Wha...
先生们 我知道会发生啥
You're speechless, because all the words in your head
看到了我的天才作品之后
have been sucked out by the magnetism of my genius.
你们会惊讶的说不出话来
A car made from bone and skin.
一辆用骨头和皮做成的车
- What bones? - Animal bones.
-什么骨头 -动物骨头
Bones are no good for this.
骨头不是这样用的
You can't use bones to make cars.
你不能拿它来造车
Why not? When your dog dies
为什么不行 比如说你的狗死了
what do you do now? You bury it.
你怎么办 把它埋了
- I don't turn her into a boot lid! - Why not?
-那也不会把它做成行引擎盖 -为什么不
Because I don't want to see a little face stretched across...
因为我不想看到它的小脸被拉成这样
You don't have the face! I haven't got a face on it.
不用脸皮 我也没用脸皮
It's just the bones.
只是骨头
So as Granny gets older, does the family sit around
所以当奶奶岁数大了 家人会商量
planning a new little hatchback?
改造一台小掀背吗
Now, I hadn't thought of people.
我暂时还没考虑用人骨
There's not a lot of dignity in it, is there?
好像有点不尊重死者
Have you used ears for wing mirrors?
你是不是用耳朵做了后视镜
- Yes. - You're sick!
-是的 -你太过分了
Why would you not do that? They're designed for that.
为什么不呢 物尽其用
- No, they're not. - Well, they are.
-才不是呢 -本来就是
- They're not reflective.
耳朵并不反光
- They absorb information and pass it on to the creature.
耳朵可以收集信息并传递给生物
- Look at my windscreen. - What is that?
-看我的挡风玻璃 -这是什么
It's... the digestive system -
这是 一头牛的消化系统
well, part of the digestive system - of an cow.
消化系统的一部分
What part of the digestive system?
哪部分
- Its stomach lining. - Not its stomach lining.
-是胃粘膜 -不是胃粘膜
- Well, where? Further back? - Yes.
-那是什么 再往后吗 -对
Are you staring at the world through a cow's ring?
你是通过一头牛的屁眼来观察前方吗
It is its anal passage.
这确实是牛的肛门
But it's stretched so thin
但被拉扯得很薄
it's completely transparent.
已经完全透明了
Cow's arse, horse's arse. It's perfect!
牛的屁眼 马的屁眼 真是辆好车
Come on! It's a lot better than what you two have done, which is nothing.
比你们两个强多了 你们简直一无是处
- What's this made out of? - Have a guess. -Is it mud?
-这车是用什么做的 -你猜 -是泥巴
It's mud. It's a mud car.
没错 这是辆泥巴车
- You've got flat tyres. - No, they're not flat.
-你的轮胎没气了 -不是没气
They're pumped up as high as they will go without exploding.
是接近爆胎的最高胎压了
- How much does it weigh? - Quite a lot.
-这车有多沉 -很沉
- How much? - Yeah, loads.
-多沉 -很沉
How much does it weigh, James?
詹姆斯 它到底多沉
- What units would you like? - Tonnes.
-你想用什么单位 -吨
Five.
五
- Five tonnes? Well, that's just idiotic. - Well, mud is quite heavy.
-5吨? 你傻啊 -泥巴很重的
- This looks safe.
这车看起来很安全
- It's sustainable, is that. That is growing.
同时还很环保 植物都在生长
While we've been having that conversation
就在我们讲话的时候
this has extended a little bit.
这辆车又长了一点
- It just grows quietly. - Is it actually a living car?
-它会默默地成长 -这辆车是活的吧
Everything's planted.
所有东西都种在上面
I've put bulbs along here, ready for spring. Daffodils.
我把浇水用浇斗放在这儿了 这是水仙花
- Not safe, though, is it? - Yes. Hazel, very strong.
-不安全吧 -榛木 结实得很
It's not as strong as bone.
并没有骨头结实
Bone is three times stronger than steel.
骨头比钢材还要硬三倍
Is it?
真的吗
Oh. Sorry, text.
噢抱歉 有短信
Andy Wilman：安迪·韦尔曼 节目制作人
Mr Wilman.
韦尔曼先生
"Having built your cars from nature
在用天然材料造好车之后
" you will now drive through it,"
你们要将其驶回大自然
to the Myarth Hill,
开到玛雅丘陵去
"where you will take part in a green motorsport event."
在那里你们将会参与一场环保汽车比赛
- What green motorsport event? - He doesn't say.
-什么环保汽车比赛 -他没说
A motorsport event that is presumably ecological in some way.
可能是某种程度上比较环保的比赛吧
OK.
好吧
Before setting off,
在出发之前
we consulted a map to see where we were going.
我们拿出地图来研究一番
Right, so that's the UK.
看 这是英国
We're here, and we've got to get to here.
我们在这儿 而终点在这儿
Well... that doesn't look like too much of a challenge.
看上去毫无难度啊
With that sorted, we saddled up
看完地图 我们准备出发
and began our epic 11-mile journey.
开始这趟史诗般的18公里旅程
Look at the smoke!
瞧瞧这烟
That's ecological.
非常环保
Greenpeace are gonna be ringing him up at any moment.
绿色和平组织会随时给他打电话的
Tremendous.
好开心
Smells of nature, I'm in nature,
呼吸自然 坐拥自然
I'm made of nature.
大自然造就了我
It's not quick
车速并不快
but it gives me more time to enjoy God's creation,
正好给了我时间去享受上帝的杰作
of which I am very much a part.
我本人也是其中之一
Oh!
噢
James!
詹姆斯
We've done ten seconds, and James...
我们才开始了10秒 詹姆斯却
I may be losing one of my
专业点说就是
I think the correct technical term is the A-pillar.
A柱要掉了
Now it's gone completely.
现在完全掉了
Oh, dear!
噢 天啊
Surely he has to admit defeat?
他必须得认输了吧
There's not much car left now.
他那辆车已经没剩多少了
Oh, dear, James.
天呐 詹姆斯
I think we can count you out.
我觉得你已经可以出局了
- But it doesn't matter. - What doesn't matter?
-可这无所谓啊 -什么无所谓
Look. You think, "Oh, James's car's falling apart."
你会这么想 噢詹姆斯的车散架了
I'm standing in my spare-parts department. All of it.
我正站在配件库里 到处都是配件
Can be used to rebuild your car?
可以用来重建你的车
- It's right under there, mud.
-就在我们脚下 泥巴
So it's as good as new? -Sort of.
像新的一样 -算是吧
Well, I'm sorry, but we're gonna set off and leave you behind.
抱歉 我们要继续前进 把你扔在这儿了
Well, hang on. You can't leave me behind
等一下 你不能走
because we haven't started. We're still in the field.
因为我们还没开始呢 我们还在这儿
- Oh, yes. - Good point. OK, well,
-也是 -好吧 那这样
we're gonna set off and go to the pub.
我们出发去找个酒吧
- That's a very good idea. - While you...
-好主意 -你就
- While you... - ...find some mud.
-在这里 -挖泥巴
I've lost my car! Oh, it's there. It's there.
我找不到我的车了 噢 在这儿呢
With Bob The Builder out of the way,
把巴布工程师扔下之后
Bob The Builder：BBC动画片
Richard and I settled down to appreciate
理查德和我开始认真享受
the planet-saving nature of our revolutionary eco-cars.
我们生态汽车的环保属性
You may be...
你可能会
amused by my bodywork,
笑话我的作品
or perhaps horrified,
或是被吓到
but the fact is that making steel bodies for cars
但要知道用钢材制作车身的话
produces 120 million tonnes of carbon dioxide every year.
每年会产生1.2亿吨的二氧化碳
120 million tonnes!
1.2亿吨啊
Carmakers will sort out clean,
汽车厂商们早晚会制造出
environmentally-friendly engines. They will.
环境友好型的发动机 我相信他们
But in the meantime
与此同时
I can tell you that the CO2 produced by this car's engine
我这辆车所排出的二氧化碳
is being absorbed and used by the bodywork.
都会被车身吸收并加以利用
Plants breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen.
因为植物可以吸入二氧化碳 释放出氧气
That's what my car's body is doing right now.
而我的车身此时就在做这件事
Jumpers, Sunday lunch... spare parts.
套头衫 吃大餐 满地都是小配件
You don't need a foundry or a furnace
你不需要用车间和熔炉
to build the body for this car.
来造车
You just need animals to make love to one another.
只需要小动物们互相交配就够了
That's what this car is really. It's a sex machine.
这车的本质就是个性爱机器啊
Meanwhile, back at base, James was having a rethink.
与此同时 大本营那边 詹姆斯换了个思路
I've decided to abandon my original idea
我决定放弃我原先的方案
because it was just too weak and too floppy,
因为泥巴实在是太松太软了
and instead I'm going to build a car out of bricks.
所以我打算要用砖头造一辆车
The basic materials for making the bricks
制作砖头的原料主要有
are fresh mud with a bit of water in it,
带点水的新鲜泥土
er... some straw to give it strength,
少许稻草 让其更加坚固
and some sheep poo.
还有羊粪
You then use that to make the brick shape,
用这些做成砖头的形状
and then you fire those in a kiln.
然后放到窑里去烧
Then you use the bricks to build the thing like a house.
然后你就可以用烧出来的砖去盖房子了
Except, of course, it will be roughly the shape of a car.
只不过我们这次是要盖个车子出来
Back on the road, Hammond had called our eco convoy to a halt.
说回在路上的人 哈蒙德叫停了我们的环保车队
- What's the matter? - Shh.
-怎么了 -嘘
Shush what?
嘘什么
There's a bustle in my hedgerow.
我的篱笆下面有声音
Well, don't be alarmed now.
齐柏林飞艇"Stairway to Heaven" 的歌词
不要惊慌
- It's probably just a... spring clean. - What, for the May Queen?
-这只是个大扫除 -什么 要迎接春姑娘吗
As it turned out, I'd picked up a passenger.
原来 我车上还有位乘客
Hold on. There! Look!
等等 在那 快看
Oh! It's a hedgehog!
是只刺猬啊
Yeah! He's moved in.
对 它搬进来了
Do hedgehogs have bones? He could be a door mirror.
刺猬有骨头吗 能否用来做后视镜
He's now a member of my little community in here.
他现在是我小小社区的一员
You're not using him to make a door mirror.
你不能用他做后视镜
- No, but when he dies... - He lives here!
-我是说等他死了 -他就在这住
Hedgehogs die.
刺猬终有一死
Oh, he's got a mouse in his little bird box.
喔 他还在鸟笼子里养了只老鼠呢
And it's got the biggest testes I've ever seen!
这我见过最大的老鼠蛋蛋
Eventually, Richard and I arrived at the pub.
终于 我和理查德抵达了酒吧
Oh, hello! Oh, mate! You fool!
不是吧 你是不是傻
Oh! Oh, look.
自己看
Clean break. That'll never... You're gonna need pins.
彻底掉了 没法修 除非用销子
Shut up! Your car's given me hay fever.
闭嘴 你那车都让我花粉过敏了
I can't see through my eyes.
瞎了我的眼
Oh, so you crashed your car because mine's got flowers on
所以 你撞车是因为我车上种着花
and not because you built your windscreen
而不是因为你挡风玻璃
out of a cow's balloon knot?
是用牛菊花做的
Let's not get bogged down with who caused the accident
我们就别纠结这个事故是谁错了
cos it was you.
反正是你
I am now gonna go and get some spare parts.
我得去找点备用零件了
Of course you are. That'll be easy.
对 那太容易了
Maybe there'll be a nice zoo in this tiny village.
这个小村庄或许就会有个不错的动物园
No, hospital. Old folks' home.
不 医院也行 养老院
You could wait... Just find one of those old ladies with...
哎等会 你就去找个那样的老太太
Back at the start point,
而在起点
the eco-warrior was ramping up the pace.
我们的环保卫士则开足了马力
Watch that go.
等着瞧吧
Meanwhile, back at the pub,
与此同时 在酒吧这边
I was repairing my damaged front end.
我正在修理损坏的车头
Well, annoyingly, the pork that I bought
比较烦的是 我买的猪肉
is sort of triangular and doesn't look right.
是三角形的 看起来不太对
It doesn't really fit, so I've got a side of beef,
不大合适 所以我买了块牛骨
which I think will be great.
我觉得会很棒
Now, I'm just erm... clearing away the old bone.
让我先把原来的骨头弄下来
No, shoo! Shoo in Welsh.
走开 走开的威尔士语
I'm warning you.
我警告你
How would you like to be a petrol filler cap?
我会把你做成油箱盖的
What do you think?
怎么样
I actually think it looks rather stylish,
我反正觉得这造型挺有范的
because it immediately looks ecological, recyclable,
一看就特环保特可回收
sustainable - all those things.
符合可持续发展等等
You get a single-skin brick wall.
有了这么一块砖门
It builds up very neatly, as you can see.
工艺精湛 你看
It is exactly the same as making something out of Lego.
这和乐高其实是一个原理
If you have lots of Lego...
当然 你得有很多乐高积木
Right.
好吧
Clearly, James was not going to get his car built that day,
很明显 詹姆斯当天是不可能完成他的车了
so Richard and I decided to spend the night at the pub.
所以理查德和我打算在酒吧过夜
How far have we come today? Just remind me.
告诉我 今天咱们走了多远
We're still in the same field where we started.
我们还在开始的那块地方
- Well, he is. - Yes.
-他还在那 -没错
We're in a pub. - But we have to go back to the start to start.
-我们在酒吧 -但我们得回起点重新开始
- It's not the best start. - No.
-这次开局不利 -对啊
- Erm... - How do we know? We haven't started yet.
你怎么知道呢 我们也还没开始啊
Precisely, so, actually, it might yet be a brilliant start
没错 所以等真开始了
when the start starts.
没准是个非常棒的开始
His one was useless
他那破玩意就是废物
It's his slap-happy attitude to making things.
都怪他做事粗糙
Attention to detail.
还钻牛角尖
Thank you very much.
谢谢各位
Anyway, now it is time for Celebrity Brain Crash!
现在又是我们的明星脑碰脑环节
Now, last week...
上周
Last week, as I'm sure you'll remember,
上周 大家肯定还记得
our guest Simon Pegg
我们的嘉宾西蒙佩吉
sadly fell into the harbour and drowned.
不幸跌入河里溺水身亡
Er... But there's no danger of that happening this week
但这周就不会再有这个危险了
because our guest is actually starting in the harbour.
因为本期嘉宾就从水上出发的
He is one of Britain's top comedians
他是英国的一位顶级笑星
and a jet-ski enthusiast.
也是一位摩托艇爱好者
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jimmy Carr!
各位 掌声有请吉米卡尔
Here he comes now, look, on the screen...
看大屏幕 他这就来了
and he's looking good!
他看上去神采奕奕
He is. What are we going to ask him when he gets here?
没错 等他来了我们问人家点什么好
I'm gonna ask him, actually, about erm...
我要问他
that story he told me once when we were on holiday.
我们一起度假时 他和我说过一次的那个事
No, you can't ask him about that on air.
不 你不能在节目上问那事
Ofcom, they won't like it.
有关部门不会允许的
通信管理局 类似于英国的广电总局
Why does Ofcom... We're on the internet.
有他们什么事 我们这是网络节目
Yeah, but we're still broadcast. You can't tell that story.
但节目还是要播的 你不能提那事
Whoa! Hang on! Hang on!
等等
I don't want to interrupt. He's come in very hot.
我不是有意打断 但是他速度有点太快了
No, what's this boat doing? Shush, everyone! Shush!
那船怎么回事 各位 安静
The boat! Stop the...
快叫停这艘船
Oh, for God's sake! The boat!
天呐 要撞上了
Oh, my God.
我的天老爷
As you may have noticed,
各位可能注意到 现场观众们
the audience there applauding the tragic death... ...of one of Britain's best-loved comedians, Jimmy Carr.
在为英国人挚爱的喜剧明星吉米卡尔之死鼓掌
Does that mean he's not coming on, then?
那他是来不成了?
Well, James, he's burst
詹姆斯 他已经炸了
and is now basically chum on the waters of the harbour,
掉河里喂鱼了
so that's a no, he's not coming on.
所以 不 他来不成了
This is a dis... It's awkward.
这真是... 尴尬了
It's every single week.
每周都如此
We're getting a reputation. People are gonna notice.
我们会臭名远扬 大家会发现的
It's OK, though.
没关系
I've just thought of something else we can do to fill the time.
我想到可以用什么桥段来补了
You... You know what it is.
你懂得
- You go outside, and you. - Do I have to do this?
-你先出去 还有你 -能不做吗
Yes, I'm afraid you do. Could you go that way?
不行 快过去
Go get it. Quickly, quickly. Run, run, run.
把那玩意弄过来 快快快 跑起来
Ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们
please try not to look at the hideous
尽量别去看窗外的河面
bloodstained water out of the window.
水面上可怕的血迹
You see, the thing is... The thing is
是这样的
that when immigrants try to get into the country,
当移民们偷渡入境时
they always come in the back of a container lorry,
他们都会藏在集装箱卡车里
and I always think that is the world's
我一直觉得这是世上
worst game of hide-and-seek.
最白痴的躲猫猫了
Cos if you work for Homeland Security...
如果你是国土安全局的
... No, what's it called here?
等等 英国叫什么
Border Force?
边防部队
you open the doors and, "Well, there you are."
边防一开门就 抓到你啦
So I was thinking surely
所以我想
there must be a better way of getting into Britain?
肯定还有比这更好的偷渡方式
And I think I've worked it out.
而且我觉得找到了
So, James, could you bring the car in? Yes.
-詹姆斯 把车开进来 -好
Yes, good man.
好样的
Right, here he comes now,
好的 他来了
at his usual top speed of eight,
以他的日常龟速
in what is an Audi TT Quattro.
开着一辆奥迪TT四驱
That's perfect. Thank you so much
太棒了 谢谢你詹姆斯
. If you'd like to step out.
在请你下车
Now, Richard Hammond is in this car.
理查德哈蒙德就在这辆车里
And I'm going to give you, the studio audience
现场的观众们 我给你们
one hour to find him.
一个小时找到他
Oh, not an hour!
一小时太长了吧
All right, not an hour. A minute
好吧不一小时 一分钟
I'll give you 60 seconds to find him.
给你们60秒钟找到他
Help yourselves, everybody. See if you can find him.
各位自便 看看自己能否找到他
- Open the bonnet. - Look in the ashtray!
-打开引擎盖 -烟灰缸里面
Look in the ashtray? He's small, but he's not that small.
烟灰缸里面 他是迷你了点但也还没那么小
- Open the boot. - Inside the seat.
-打开后备箱 -座位夹层
"Inside the seat."
座位夹层吗
He's strapped underneath. He's underneath.
他被绑在车底 他在底下
- Have a look. - I'll get down.
-你自己看 -我躺下看看
If you just go down there, you can have a look underneath.
你蹲下去就能看到了
Has anyone lifted this?
有人把这个打开看过了吗
Three, two, one...
三 二 一
No, you've all failed.
你们都失败了
You'd be no good in Immigration.
千万别去移民局工作
Right, go back to where you were, because, ladies and gentlemen,
都回到自己的位置上 各位
what we are going to do now is reveal to you
我们现在要来告诉大家
where Richard Hammond was concealed in this car.
理查德哈蒙德到底藏在哪了
James, could you give me a hand?
詹姆斯 搭把手
- Certainly. - Okey-doke.
-没问题 -好的
- Hello! - There he is.
-大家好 -在这呢
Hello! I'm in the car. Yeah.
大家好 我真的在车里 你没看没错
Are you all right?
你还好吗
Yeah. Can I get out now?
还行 我能出来了吗
The amazing thing is, it's not just Audi TTs.
最神奇的是 如果你想要贩卖人口
Almost any car has that much space
不仅是奥迪TT
if you want to do a spot of people smuggling.
几乎所有的车都有块这么大的空间
Yeah, it's not that much space, just to be clear.
讲真 这空间也没有那么大
Can I get out now?
我能出来了吗
No, because I've just thought of something.
不行 我又想到一个事
No, seriously. James, could you pop the bumper back on?
真的 詹姆斯 你能把保险杠装回去吗
- What? - No, move your feet.
什么 动下腿
- No, because... - It's not very nice!
-因为 -兄弟情呢
Is it not? Right, so, pop that back on there.
那是什么 先把这装回去
Now, what we've got here, I think,
现在这就是
is a really rather effective parking sensor.
一个特管用的倒车雷达
What? I don't like this! I like it. I like it.
-什么 我不要啊 -好主意
You get back in. We'll bring a car in so that...
你坐回去 我去找辆车进来
Yeah, so you've got something to reverse up to.
做倒车参照物
I need to drill some holes for your eyes.
我还要给你开两个观察口
You bloody don't!
你敢
Seriously, Hammond
哈蒙德 说真的
you won't be able to see anything unless I do.
这样你才看得见
Where are your eyes? About here?
你的眼睛在哪 这吗
At the front of my head!
在我脑袋上
Right, close them, Hammond. This...
好的 哈蒙德 闭上眼
- Hammond? - I'm not talking to you!
-你还活着吗 -我不理你了
Right, I'll do one for your other eye.
还要帮另外一只眼打个孔
There. Can you see out now?
搞定 能看得到外面吗
Yes, there. Look. Can you see?
快看 多棒 你能看到吗
We can see his little eyes. That's lovely.
我们能看到他的小眼睛呢 真可爱
If someone holds this.
帮我拿一下
Right, James, if you'd like to start reversing,
詹姆斯 倒车的时候
keeping your ears open for Hammond's pitiable screams.
请竖起耳朵听哈蒙德的惨叫
Roger.
收到
No... No! No! Just stop!
不要 停
No! Stop!
不 停
- How far away is that? - About 15 feet.
还有多远-大概5米
- What? - Hammond?
-什么-哈蒙德
- What? - We live in London.
干嘛-我们住在伦敦
You could build a 4 million house in that gap.
这距离可以建个四百万英镑的房子了
I need to know when you're half an inch away.
只剩2厘米再叫
You're not the one in the bloody bumper!
你来这要命的保险杠里试试
- Right, come on, then, James. - Here we go.
-好了 继续吧詹姆斯 -走着
Hammond, you're on silence till it's dangerous.
哈蒙德 没有生命危险就保持安静
Stop!
停下
That is absolutely brilliant.
真是完美
That's like a quarter of an inch.
只有不到1厘米了
Look at that.
看啊
Cor!
哇!
The thing is, parking sensors are very expensive.
问题是 倒车雷达十分昂贵
You can rent a man for almost nothing.
找个活人却是免费的
Yeah, look, I don't know how much you pay to rent a man normally,
我不知道你平时找别人出多少钱
but I cost more.
但我身价很高
Now, get me out of here, please.
现在 请放我出去
Well, no, because we've got to link into the next film.
不行 是时候继续节目了
We can't get you out anyway
我们也无法让你出来
because you're too close
因为两辆车太近了
we'll never get the bumper off.
没法卸下保险杠
You're too good at your job, Hammond. Oh, God!
-哈蒙德 你活太棒了 -去死吧
That's what's happened. So we're going back...
就是这样 该回到正题了
Actually, it's part two, isn't it? What was the film?
到第二段了 我们刚刚到哪了
It was Italy. No, that was last week.
-意大利那段吗 -不 那是上周的
- Oh, the cars! - Oh, really?
-是说车呢 -是吗
- Oh, the sustainable thing.
环境友好型汽车
Sustainable cars. So... -Yes.
对 可持续车辆 没错
Get on with it!
快继续啊
The following morning we were up bright and early
隔天一早 我们精神抖擞地早早起床
so we could get back to the start line.
重新回到起点
- Not a bad night, actually. - It was all right.
-昨晚睡的不错呢 -还行
Oh, hello.
你好 小伙计
May?
詹姆斯快来看啊
Oh! That's dogs and foxes and things, isn't it?
看来狗和狐狸对你的车情有独钟
Dogs have come and eaten your car.
狗把你的车给吃了
They haven't eaten it, they've destroyed it,
没有吃 只是毁了我的车
which means I've got to put it back together again.
所以我还得把这重新归位
There are some spare parts up there.
那有些零件
Yeah, I think that horse is looking very ill.
那马确实看起来病得不轻
It's got a very grey face.
脸色苍白
That's always a sign of looking ill.
这往往意味着生病了
Is your horse ill?
你的马病了吗
- No. - No?
-没 -居然没有
- No - He'll last the day, then?
-就是说它能活过今天了
Yeah.
-没错
Damn it.
该死的
It took all morning to repair my car
我花了一早上
with stuff from the butcher's shop,
用肉店买的零件修车
which meant it was lunchtime
所以我们回程
before we were on our way back
去看詹姆斯进展如何时
to see how James was getting on.
已经是中午了
Jeremy, what's all that smoke up ahead there?
杰里米 前面的烟是怎么回事
What smoke?
什么烟
That massive ball of smoke in front of us, up front.
就是前面的浓烟 看那
I can't see it. My hay fever's really bad.
看不见 我严重花粉过敏
No, you can't see it because you're trying to looking at it
不 是因为你得通过牛的菊花
through a cow's butt hole.
才能看到
As it turned out, the smoke was on account
结果证明 这烟源于詹姆斯
of James having single-handedly restarted the Industrial Revolution.
一手重启的工业革命
What?
-怎么
- What are you doing? - I'm making...
-你在干什么 -我在...
The theory is... we are reducing our impact on the environment,
我们的目的是减少对环境的影响
but you've dug it up!
但你把地球都挖空了
It's not where anybody lives.
这地渺无人烟
It's just the countryside. It's not doing anything.
这是郊外 不会影响到谁
Is that a coal lorry?
那是运煤车吗
Yes. - The least environmental thing on the entire earth.
-嗯 -那是地球上最不环保的东西
It's a lorry delivering coal.
那是辆运煤的卡车
- So? - Why do you need coal?
-所以呢 -你要煤干什么
- To fire up the kiln. - What?
-给窖生火 -什么
The bricks have to be baked. You can't just...
砖块是烧出来的 你不能就这么...
Hold on. So you're making a car out of mud bricks? - Yes.
-等等 你要用砖块造车吗 -没错
Are you gonna dig a canal network
你为了运煤
to get in and out, perhaps, with your coal?
这是要挖条运河吗
- That's quite a good idea. - It isn't a good idea!
-好主意 -才不是
Much ruined countryside later,
蹂躏完郊区后
James's new car was finally ready.
詹姆斯的车终于造好了
Why are you dressed up like an American footballer?
你为什么穿得像个橄榄球运动员
Well, it's a prototype,
这车还只是个雏形
and I'm a test pilot, in effect.
我是来试驾的
Test pilots wear specialist equipment.
试驾员通常需要一些特殊装备
But that looks perfectly solid to me.
我看那挺结实的
That roof is...
那车顶简直...
James, even given the limitations of the material you've used,
詹姆斯 光想想你用的原材料的局限性
your car looks crap.
这车就烂透了
But look how it blends in with the environment.
但是它和这环境特别配
Prince Charles would love this.
查尔斯王子肯定会很喜欢
It doesn't blend in with anything.
它和什么都不配
There's no environment left - you've dug it all up.
这已经没有环境可言 因为你都挖出来了
- Right, can we finally go? - Yes, you can.
-行吧 我们可以开动了吗 -当然
11 miles lie ahead.
前面还有18公里要走呢
See you there.
终点见
Ow!
哇
That is a complete mystery, to be honest.
我就不明白了
It's not.
怎么了
It had an arched roof, it had a keystone.
这个拱顶还带拱心石呢
There must be something wrong with that mortar.
肯定是砂浆的问题
Waiting for James to mend his bodywork, again,
等待詹姆斯再次修理车体时
meant my bodywork started to go off.
我的车正在逐渐消失
But, eventually, he was ready.
但最终 他准备好了
It's really rather pleasant.
驾驶感不错呢
This is like being at home with the windows open.
就像在家开着窗户一样
Richard, meanwhile, had added some floral go-faster stripes,
同时 理查德给他的车种上了赛车条纹
and I'd opened up my cow's rectum
我也卸下了牛的直肠
to improve the ventilation.
来通风
We have had a few problems.
我们是出过问题
We've only covered, yes, two miles in two days,
没错 三公里走了两天
but here we are,
但我们的三人行
as a threesome, going along.
还在继续
But then...
但是
It's a river, and not a small one.
前面是条挺大的河
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
夭寿啊
Oh, God.
我的天老爷
- Oh, your bricks have fallen off, mate.
哥们你的砖块在往下掉啊
- Your bonnet's fallen off.
引擎盖掉下来了
Perfectly all right. Redundancy's built into it.
没事 我多铺了一层
- Is it? - Yeah.
-是吗 -真的
Since Richard is the team bumpkin,
由于理查德是我们队的乡巴佬
we decided he should go first.
我们决定让他先走
OK, well, my community of people
我的盟友们
make for higher ground.
向着高处走吧
Just climb.
往上爬
Hammond's ark made it to the other side safely.
哈蒙德方舟最终成功靠岸
Yeah!
耶
And then it was my go.
现在该我了
I'm really deep here.
这里好深
Really, really deep.
真的好深
Oh, no! Cows leak!
牛车进水了
That's a terrible thing to learn!
这可是个深刻的教训
However, I, too, made it with relative ease.
但我也相对轻松地到岸了
Eat my meat, Hammond!
哈蒙德 你服不服!
But then...
但
Look at this.
看看他
Tragic.
太可怜了
An old man driving a low garden wall into a river.
老家伙开着一堵花园墙下河
Let's look on the bright side
好消息是
If this doesn't work as a car,
这车如果抛锚了
it will be very effective as a dam.
还可以当大坝
He's not doing it quite as quickly as you or I did it.
他这速度比咱们慢多了
Nor as aggressively, nor as purposefully.
也不够强势 太盲目了
His car is also riding a lot lower than ours
因为这重量
because it weighs so much.
车身也更低
I was getting very deep. It may be leaking slightly.
正在往深水区前进 有点漏水了
It's leaking a lot.
漏水很严重
Cack. Chaps, I think I'm beached.
糟糕 伙计们我这是搁浅了
I'm being honest, there's not a great deal we can do about it.
讲真 我们也无能为力
You're in the river, we're here.
你在河里 我们却在岸上
Right, if I go right a bit,
好吧 如果我往右走一点
I should... clear that...
我就能走出去
Oh, yes!
太棒了
Oh, the... - The side's just come off. -Yeah, that's...
-车门掉下来了 -不忍直视
So the mortar's dissolving
砂浆在水里溶解了
and the bricks are just falling off.
而且砖块也在往下掉
Yes.
没错
That's more gone.
又掉了好多
Oh, God! The mortar's dissolving!
天啊 砂浆在溶解
He's just transporting his own cameras along.
等他开过来 估计散的只剩摄像机了
That's all he's doing.
绝对散架了
Get off!
下去
Get off!
下去
Little spindly arms throwing a brick.
纤弱的手臂 扔着砖块
Help!
救命
We're gonna have to put him out of his misery.
我们得赶紧帮他结束这痛苦的行程
We'll just abandon him. Do you think?
应该直接抛弃他 真的吗
What is the point of him?
要他何用
James, can you hear me?
詹姆斯 听得见吗
We've analysed the situation and there is literally
我们评估了一下现在的情形
nothing we can do to help. Nothing.
我们确实爱莫能助 真的
Leaving James in his dissolving car,
抛弃了詹姆斯和他正在溶解的车后
we headed off to make camp and get supper underway.
我们继续前行扎营 准备晚餐
Well, apart from your rather tragic tents,
除了你那可怜的帐篷外
- this isn't so bad. - It's all right.
-这还挺不错的 -是啊
It is amazing, isn't it?
我车看起来真棒
My car, the way it disappears into that hedge,
它和树篱融为一体了
it's not just camouflage, it is hedge.
不止是伪装 那就是个树篱
- It's gone. - No, it is genuinely...
-我的车已经消失了 -它真的...
Actually, I will agree, yours is remarkable.
我同意 你的车确实别出心裁
Meanwhile, James's car had shed so much weight
另一边 詹姆斯的车大量减重
that he was able to get free...
终于重获自由
and start raping the countryside again to rebuild it.
他又开始劫掠大自然来重造车体
Bastards.
混蛋
You know, what's incredible about this -
我跟你说 我们现在这种
this sustainable living we're doing
可持续生活的亮点在于-
is our barbecue is made from bricks from James's car,
烤肉用的砖是詹姆斯车上的
the kindling and the vegetables are from your car.
引火物和蔬菜是你车上的
Are you about to tell me I'm eating...
难道说我正在吃的是
Back wing.
我的后翼子板
What? - When you buy a steak, it says "keep refrigerated".
-怎么了 -你买的牛排上面都会写着冷藏保存
It doesn't say, "Stick to the side of your car",
不会有人让你把它贴在车的侧面
leave in the sun, then drive through a river."
在阳光下暴晒 再开过一条河
James is making such a racket, isn't he?
詹姆斯搞出的噪音真是太讨厌了
It's worse than last time.
比上次还讨厌
The difference on this trip, while he's been tearing nature apart,
不同之处在于 这次他一直在破坏大自然
I've never felt closer to it.
我可不像他那样
Well, he's just messing everything up. He always...
他只会把所有事情都搞砸 一向如此
Holy cow.
不会吧
- Hammond. - What?
-哈蒙德 -怎么了
That.
你看
What are you doing?
你在干什么
He couldn't see it. It's a hedge trimmer.
他开着篱笆修剪机看不见
That's my community, you rural bastard!
那可是我的小生态 你个混蛋乡巴佬
- Oh, my... - Oh, God!
-噢 -噢天呐
The next morning, to cheer up Hammond
第二天一早
following the decimation of his car
为了让受到双重打击的
and his woodland animal community,
哈蒙德高兴一点
I made breakfast.
我做了早餐
- Eat it. - No!
-吃吧 -不
- Why not? - Because it's going green!
-为什么 -因为它都变质了
It's just a bit of door.
只是门上的一块肉而已
You can see where the flies have been on it.
你可以看出上面曾经落过苍蝇
It's disgusting.
太恶心了
Hello. Hello!
瞧瞧谁来了
What...?
这是什么
- It's a dung heap. - It is a dung heap.
-那是个粪堆 -确实是个粪堆
- Morning. - Morning.
-早上好 -早
Is this a car? What is it?
这是一辆车还是什么
It is a totally sustainable car made of, effectively, wattle and daub,
这是一辆用抹灰篱笆墙造的可持续发展汽车
only the wattle has been replaced by straw
只不过我把篱笆换成了稻草
and the daub has been replaced by cow poo,
又把石灰换成了牛粪
but the principle is the same.
但道理是一样的
How the hell do you fit in it? Only just.
-你到底是怎么进去的 -刚刚好
- Where's your windscreen? - There.
-挡风玻璃呢 -在那儿
Hang on.
等下
Can we just test your blind spots, James?
我们来测试一下你的盲区吧 詹姆斯
Can you see either of us now?
你现在能看见我们两个吗
No.
看不见
Heavily pedestrianised areas should be avoided.
应该拒绝这种极度无聊的部分
Right, come on. We've just got two miles to go. - Yes.
-好了 出发吧 我们只剩3公里了 -没错
Jesus Christ!
我的妈呀
The smell!
太臭了
What's that? - It breaks my heart, but it's a small gift for you.
-这是什么 -我很不忍心 但还是要送给你这个小礼物
- Is it? Mate! - Yes, from me and my woodland community.
真的吗 好兄弟 -没错 是我车载生态的一部分
Oh!
噢
- It's a dead bat! - Yeah, it is.
-是一只死掉的蝙蝠 -是的
- Bats have sonar, don't they? - Yeah.
-蝙蝠靠超声波飞行? -没错
So I could use it as a reversing parking sensor.
那我就可以把它当倒车雷达了
Yeah, I don't think it works once the bat is dead.
可我觉得它死了之后就没用了
And so, with all of us running...
于是我们又上路了
My reversing bat is working well.
我的蝙蝠牌倒车雷达很好使
...we began the final two-mile leg of our epic journey.
踏上这史诗路程的最后3公里
Oh, balls!
噢 见鬼
There are some issues associated with environmentalism,
环保主义会产生一些问题
and we're seeing one of them right now.
我们面前的就是其中之一
- Am I anywhere near the gate? - Oh, God!
-我是不是在门附近 -噢天啊
James attempted to tie his car back together using a ball of string...
詹姆斯决定要用一卷毛线来固定住车身
which went well.
效果还不错
It's going...
滚下去了
Oh, that's gonna confuse him now!
他肯定傻眼了
Why'd they make it in a ball shape? What a stupid idea!
他们为什么要做成一个球形呢 太愚蠢了
But eventually it was done and we were on our way.
但最终他还是固定好了 我们继续前进
James, how much does it weigh now?
詹姆斯 你的车现在有多重
I'm gonna say the weight has gone down a bit.
车重现在减轻了一点
I think I'm down to three tonnes.
我觉得降到3吨了
So you still need an HGV licence?
所以你还是需要B本才能开?
But it's not a type of car known to the DVLA.
但是交管局并不一定认得这是车
Mind you, I had even bigger problems.
要知道 我还有个更大的麻烦
My car was starting to smell really bad.
我的车开始变得越来越臭了
One of the sound recordists
其中一个录音机
just came to fiddle with my microphone,
正在和我的麦克风胡搞
and actually was sick.
这太恶心了
Eventually, though, our destination hoved into view.
终于 我们的目的地已经近在眼前了
After three days gruelling travel
经过历尽艰辛的3天
over 11 miles, we're here.
超过18公里的旅程 我们终于到了
This must be it.
就是这儿
可持续发展汽车运动挑战赛开幕仪式
on a track carved out of nature itself.
就在这条天然形成的赛道上面
Oh, hang on.
等一下
- A text message. - What?
-有短信 -什么
I've got a text here from Mr Wilman,
韦尔曼先生给我发了条短信
with the instructions of what we're doing.
告诉我接下来要做什么
"Whoever does the most laps in one hour wins."
在一小时内完成圈数最多的人将会获胜
Oh, well, James, that's not gonna be you.
好吧 詹姆斯 肯定不会是你
- Well, you don't know. - No, I do know it's not gonna be you.
-你怎么知道 -我敢肯定不是你
Oh, no, wait. Hang on. "You will be racing against
噢 等一下 你们还要和3辆
three old-fashioned steel cars."
老式钢铁车一起比赛
- Hang on. Yes, those. - Hello.
-等一下 是那几辆吧 -哪儿呢
- Oh, there they are. - How quaint.
-噢 它们来了 -好古老的车
No, they don't look quaint. They look ridiculous.
不 一点也不古老 它们的样子太可笑了
It's funny, that's the nature of progress.
那就是自然进步的产物 很讽刺
- Suddenly, they look stupid. - They do.
-我突然觉得它们的样子蠢爆了 -没错
The museum pieces were being driven by three local yobbos.
这些老古董由3位当地的小混混驾驶
Right, this is it.
好的 就这样吧
The MeaTI, the TreeTI and the PeaTI are ready.
肉车 树车和粪车都已经准备好了
Oh, what a start! It's a good start.
噢 很好 起步不错
Yes, we're blocking!
没错 就是要挡住你们
Oh, they've gone! They've gone! I couldn't see the flag.
噢 他们开始了 我看不见旗子
Yes, there are some hay bales. I'll follow those.
我能看见一些干草堆 就沿着它们开吧
Where the hell does it go next?
接下来往哪边走
Despite the excellent start from Richard and I,
尽管我和理查德的起步很好
we were quickly overwhelmed by the steel cars.
但很快我们就被钢铁车超越了
And now the Golf's got past!
高尔夫超过我了
Oh, no! Oh, no!
噢不 不
I've let the Mondeo through. That's a disaster!
我被蒙迪欧超了 天啊
Oh, I've lost one of my nose tampons!
噢 我鼻子里的棉条掉了一个
What Richard and I really needed was help from our colleague.
理查德和我现在急需另一位同事的帮助
Sadly, though...
只可惜
I'm gonna take a racing line. Oh, I'm completely lost.
看我的走线 噢我完全迷路了
The trouble is, the race track looks the same as the front of the car.
问题在于 赛道看上去和我的车头一样
What a stupid idea for an event.
这是谁想出来的馊主意
I've lost the other nose tampon! Help!
我的棉条全掉了 救命
I may have to pit for another tampon.
我可能要进一次站 再塞两个棉条
Where am I going?
我该往哪儿开
All right, James?
又见面了 詹姆斯
No.
不
No time to lose.
不能再浪费时间了
I've gone for the super absorbent,
我换上了两个
slightly larger nose tampons,
超强吸水的大号棉条
which I hope will last a little longer.
希望能多坚持一会
Given that we were in an endurance race,
因为这是一场耐力赛
our tactics so far had been to protect our cars.
所以到目前为止我们都在尽量保护车子
Reliability, that's what we need here. That is everything.
我们现在需要可靠性 仅此而已
That's what matters most.
这是最重要的
But with the cars of the past racking up so many laps,
但随着几辆古董车的一次次挑衅
we had to get the hammer down.
我们也要拿出真本事了
The MeaTI against the...
现在是肉车对阵...
whatever that is - 1.6 litre Golf.
那辆1.6升的高尔夫
Yes!
太棒了
Yes! I've got him!
太棒了 我超过他了
Power sliding a hedge.
看我篱笆漂移
Come on!
加油啊
Yes. Oh, yes.
这就对了
I think I've done a lap.
我觉得我好像跑完了一整圈
With us three - well, two - making good progress,
在我们三个 两个人势不可挡的时候
the cars from the past started to play dirty.
几辆古董车开始不择手段了
That is out of order! They are getting violent!
怎么能这样 他们开始用暴力了
Oh! Oh, no!
噢 噢不
I've lost a tampon again!
我的棉条又掉了一个
Who was that?
谁撞我
Think you can mess with us
你以为我长得像一棵树
just because we like trees, do you?
所以就好欺负是吗
That's out of order, mate. You can't. Have that!
你这样是不对的 兄弟 尝尝这个吧
The bone is taking on the steel!
我在用血肉之躯对抗钢铁
Although we were holding our own,
尽管我们都在尽力坚持
the relentless pressure started to take its toll on our vehicles.
但我们的车都开始受到不同程度的损伤
I've lost part of the hat.
我的车顶掉了一块
I can smell...
我闻到了
What can I smell?
这是什么味
Is that from the exhaust?
是我排气管里出来的吗
With Hammond distracted by the hot exhaust burning his bodywork,
当哈蒙德因为车身被排气管点燃而分心之时
it was all down to my cow car.
重任落在了我的牛车上
Good dicing here between the past and the future.
传统与未来在此契合
It's neck and neck!
我们现在并驾齐驱
But then...
可惜
Oh, no! No!
噢不
Disaster!
完了
Oh, hell. I think it looks like
见鬼 看起来
Jeremy's got trouble.
杰瑞米遇上麻烦了
How do you peel a cow?
该怎么把牛皮剥下来
Having eventually got to the overheating engine
在终于解救了过热的引擎 并且发现
and seen it had become a production line for maggots...
它已经变成了一条蛆虫的生产线
...I decided to go off and be sick.
我决定走到一边去吐一会儿
Er... News from the Inaugural Sustainable Motorsport Event
呃 可持续发展汽车运动挑战赛的最新消息
很抱歉没有车内视角 因为詹姆斯车上的摄像机丢了
On A Sustainable Track, or whatever it's called,
来自于一条所谓的可持续发展赛道
屏幕字
Jeremy Clarkson has retired with a maggot infestation.
杰瑞米 克拉克森因为蛆虫问题退赛了
This meant all our hopes rested with Richard Hammond
因此全部的希望都寄托在了理查德 哈蒙德
and his smouldering ark.
和他燃烧的方舟上
Yeah, you ran wide!
哈哈 你走线太宽了
But then...
可是好景不长
Oh, my God!
噢 天呐
Oh, no!
噢不
Oh, no! More news
哦不 关于这场
from the Sustainable Motorsport Challenge is that... Ow!
可持续汽车挑战赛更多的新闻有
...Richard Hammond, I believe, is on fire.
我觉得理查德哈蒙德的车着火了
The garden centre is ablaze.
花园中心亮起了火光
Oh, God! Oh, no! Oh, no!
噢 上帝啊 不 不要这样
That's gonna make it worse!
这样只会越烧越旺
With Hammond's car on fire...
随着哈蒙德的车着了火
mine alive, and James's disintegrating again...
我的车出了虫子 詹姆斯的车还在瓦解
Ow! Ow!
嗷 嗷
...we decided that environmentalism simply doesn't work.
我们得出了结论 环保主义根本行不通
And with that, back to...
接下来 把画面
And with that, back to the tent.
接下来 把画面切回帐篷里
Holy crap!
我靠
- No, it didn't work. - No. So, there we are.
-根本行不通 -没错 就是这样
There we are, we've looked into it.
就是这样 我们调查过了
We've looked into it thoroughly,
我们彻彻底底的调查过之后
and I'm afraid we're all doomed, we're all gonna die.
恐怕我们没救了 我们都会死
And on that terrible disappointment, I'm afraid it's time to end.
随着这个令人十分沮丧的消息 这期节目就结束了
See you next week. Goodbye!
下周见 拜拜