-The cops. -Oh, no!
Freeze! Freeze!
-What did I do? I'm an honest citizen. -Sure you are!
I'm trying to catch my tram. My wife's waiting for me.
One, two, one, two, one...
Squad halt, right front, at ease.
One month later...
Hey, here I am! Move it!
-You sure took your time. -Hi.
-Norma my darling, are you fine? -Just fine.
Counselor, are we all set?
Proietti, the best I can do is to get you the minimum sentence.
Are you kidding? I haven't confessed yet.
Counselor, I gotta get outta here, now.
I've got a little job waiting for me out of this joint
and if it turns out right, I'll be set for life.
I met a guy in here
who told me something...
Hey, can't you yell quietly?
He's just told me my grandma has been asleep for the last five days...
Well, keep it down or you'll wake her up!
Counselor, let's find a legal loophole 'cause I gotta get out.
Get the penal code out.
Listen here, article 403 is no good.
Go to 117, page 128.
You're an old offender... if anything we might claim 521.
No, that's no good anymore.
We gotta claim 124 or 606.
How? You were caught red-handed.
Did you already forget about 1400?
What's this 1400?
1400... the model you wanted to steal...
Steal? Are you crazy?
I don't even have a driver's license.
What are you doing? I see,
you did all you could do. I need a substitute.
I don't have any.
Not for you, for me.
I don't get mixed up in this kind of business!
Who's asking you? Go on, get lost.
Maybe I'll call you again when I need to draw my will.
-Norma... -Yes?
Listen here. Capannelle has 100,000 lira of mine.
Did you hear me?
That's to find someone who'll take the rap for me.
A scapegoat, d'you hear me?
You know that when I come out, if I pull that job,
I'll buy you a fur coat.
Marry me instead.
What? I'll get out of this short sentence to get life?
Are you crazy?
-Call Othello. -Why?
He's gotta take the rap for someone else,
but just for a couple of months.
He's already in. They pinched him yesterday.
Watch it, grandpa, you blew my shot.
And you blew my eye out of its socket! Damn it all...
Tell me kid, do you know a guy called Mario,
who lives around here?
There are a thousand Marios around here.
Yes, but this one is a thief.
There are still a thousand.
How much for this?
Stealing strollers now?
It's the only vehicle left with wheels and no alarm.
We gotta paint it or they'll recognize it.
Is 3,000 lira all right?
Hey, Mario. I've been looking for you for the last two hours...
-May I? -Be my guest.
-Eight thousand. -No, take it away.
Listen up, I've got something for you. Cosimo needs a scapegoat.
Just for a few months, but very well paid.
If it's a matter of a few months, why doesn't he serve them?
'Cause a very big job came his way.
Are we set for 4,000, then?
4,000 and you throw in these three umbrellas.
Hey, it's a baby carriage, you know!
Fine, fine!
Are you winking at me?
Who's winkin'? I got hit in the eye.
Right, you got hit!
What are all the umbrellas for?
They're for my mother.
Holy cow! It always pours in your mother's 'hood!
No, she misleads them all the time.
Now she'll have some extras and she'll stop bothering me.
So, what'd you say? 100,000 right away
and a little extra once the job's done.
I'd go in myself, only I've taken the rap three times already.
If I'll show up again it's life.
It's not like I don't want to,
but what do I tell my mother, "See you, I'm off to prison"?
-Always your mother! -Mind your business!
You're already on your way there!
Send the Sicilian guy, Cosimo's pal!
-Who's this Sicilian? -The small, skinny guy.
The one who keeps his sister under lock as if she were a relic?
Ferribotte?
Michele. Michele, someone's at the door.
Into the kitchen and stay there 'til I tell you.
Who is it?
Friends... Mario and Capannelle.
Greetings.
Can't we come in for a moment?
Impossible. My sister's in.
I don't want her to know about my business.
Besides, she's a minor and she's engaged.
And when's the wedding?
The dowry question needs to be settled.
She's gotta walk to the altar with the greatest honor.
She mustn't be denied a single thing.
See? Ferribotte is our man.
Well then, 100,000 lira would come in handy for the dowry.
Not here.
Carmelina, I'm going downstairs.
Let's hear.
I can't leave Carmelina on her own.
And what if the groom found out? Goodbye wedding.
He's from Abruzzi.
Those people from the North, they're full of airs.
So difficult finding a scapegoat these days!
Tiberio, the photographer...
He's in a very bad spot.
They've jailed his wife for cigarette smuggling.
That's right. Let's go see him. Move it.
Fine. I was looking for a scapegoat and I only find shepherds.
Mario, take out the umbrellas. Can't you see it's raining?
Are you crazy? They're going to get wet.
What did you get them for, then?
Tiberio. Hey!
We've got urgent business to discuss.
Shush! The kid's sleeping.
I though it was some serious deal.
Of course! Lucky you, you don't have any! You'll see!
Can't you get laces for those shoes instead of dragging them?
If he wakes up, I'll kill you!
It took me three hours to put him to sleep.
Big deal!
Quiet... quiet I told you! See, the slightest noise
irritates him, light irritates him...
he sleeps only in the darkroom...
-Did you hear about my wife? -No...
80,000 fine, for cigarette smuggling, commuted to three months.
Article 218. She's already served one and a half months.
Such an unlucky year. I even had to sell my camera.
No little jobs on the horizon, some smuggling?
How about 100,000 lira without lifting a finger?
-100,000 lira? -Yes.
I could kiss you!
You've woken up the kid.
There he goes again. Have you lost it?
What are you doing? Watch it! You can cry your eyes out, I've had it!
He's so spoiled! So cute though! Have you ever seen him?
-No. -Come see him.
Cutie... come here daddy's darling.
Hey, we ain't got no time to waste.
You're laughing now. What am I going to do with you?
What am I going to do?
You tell him.
Ferribotte, what's up with you, man?
Attempted theft of private property, Article 712: six months.
I am not a first time offender, so I'll get 9 months for 100,000 fine.
That means 12,000 lira a month. Big deal!
How much do you want?
No, we're far off... Stop it!
Get your hands off the baby food!
I understand you've lost your teeth, still...
And right now I really can't. Where would I leave the kid?
-In jail, with your wife. -Sure!
They're well looked after in there. They've got the best nursery ever.
The best in all Rome. I still remember it. When I was three...
No, no, the kid'll go to jail when he's all grown up.
-And if he chooses. -Fine.
Guys, you'll never get an ex-con for 100,000 lira.
You need someone with a clean record.
Someone with a clean record? Who knows someone like that?
Actually, I do know someone...
Who?
I understand it's almost April, but why should I play the fool?
You're always broke.
And you still owe me for those passport pictures.
Hey, do you or do you not read the papers.
I'm favored, and if I win I might even be a contender.
Sure, contend what?
With that spare tire around your waist.
Are you Cosimo's moll?
Yea, why?
Well then, it must have been a while since...
Get lost.
Over here.
If we each put in a little something, we might make it.
-How much? -There are five of us. 10,000 lira a head.
Marchetti and Picchioni. Come on, it's your turn.
Coming.
What do you want?
Will 150,000 do?
We'll rustle up 50,000.
I can't.
I'd be barred from the ring, understand?
Take it easy. You have no record.
You could get out on probation. At most, you'll get six months.
Listen, read the papers tomorrow morning.
You'll find me in the sports pages,
and my opponent in the obituaries.
Hey, doll, come on inside. I'll show you who's got the spare tire.
Bravo. That was a really great idea!
Do you think a beefcake like him, would ever play the scapegoat?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
Bring in the self-confessed criminal.
Your Honor, when I read that a poor old man was languishing in jail,
my conscience got the best of me. I'm here to confess my crime.
It was me, it was me the scoundrel,
that forced the car door and ran away.
Your Honor, this man is innocent.
-Oh, it's you! -I'm the one.
You scum. I had to go through the humiliation of been jailed,
because of you.
-I got thirteen months. -Courage.
Thirteen months I got. Me, an honest man.
A poor family man... a sick, old man...
And all because of you! Jude!
I might deserve your contempt but I'm imploring you to forgive me.
I even went to the Chapel of Divine Love.
Please, help me clean this slate and start anew, please.
All right, all right. If you've made amends, I'll forgive you.
No hard feelings.
Thank you, thanks.
Are you done?
Yes, your Honor, yes.
Fine. Lock them up... both of them.
One, two, one, two, one...
Squad halt, right front, at ease.
Wait, wait.
Damn. It was you, you!
No, here we're all honest. Put out your hand. Wait, wait.
What are you waiting for?
Cutie pie, if you don't give back the dough,
you'll sleep with the fishes. Got it?
I don't think so.
Listen, you coward...
Hey Cosimo, why did I get the dough? To get locked up.
I am locked up.
And why did I give you the money? To get out. Am I out?
-Well, what do you want? -Scram.
You could have kept it up a little better.
It's obvious you've never seen any innocent people. I'm telling you.
Is it my fault? You were pathetic.
Such a shame! What would you do outside anyway?
At least here, they'll feed you for free.
Fine. You filthy beast.
I had a little job to take care of if I got out.
No risks involved and major payoff.
And instead, because of you, everything has gone up in smoke!
What little job?
This Cosimo will tell you for sure! So you can go and steal my plan?
And when you get out... Oh, pretty boy, scram, scram!
I can't even think about it. You know how the adage goes.
Think about it twice and you're a cuckold.
Cuckold?! You're talking to me, you dirty...
Let go or I'll kill you.
How dare you? You're talking to me?
Chow, boys. Chow.
Pasta and beans.
This is the 1:45 to Ancona.
Who gives a damn?
May your father and mother drop dead if you have a cigarette
and aren't sharing.
All orphans here, I see...
Pass the bottle I want to have a puff.
Move.
Look, they've got their sentence.
Jailed for stealing hay.
They seem pretty beat.
The poor things must have gotten a good licking!
-Go ask... -You, go.
Boy, are you tired!
I bet you can't wait to die, so you can rest forever.
How many? A few months?
Years.
Three years...
I guess you're happy now, aren't you?
-How can it be? -Right!
-I'd like our lawyer's opinion. -Sure.
Counselor... oh, come here... What's up?
Lawyer? This is your lawyer?
Get away, damn it, all is lost now.
Three years. Three years... Oh, my poor mother. Damn it all.
It's not my fault!
And 150,000 lira. My poor, poor mother!
Well, no.
You've buried me alive, that's what you've done!
Come on, be a man! Where's all your courage?
Sure...
What about me? You call me lucky?
Don't you touch me.
-Peppe, come on, don't give in. -Sure.
I'll take care of your mother...
if, when I get out I pull off that job, you'll see...
If I were out right now, damn it all!
Still thinking about that deal. Some stupid lousy idea, I bet you...
Stupid, eh?
Last month I met a bricklayer in here. He was being transferred.
He'd stabbed his brother-in-law.
He told me he'd just finished building a very thin partition wall...
one of those you could poke open with your finger...
So?
Between a... a dining room and pawnshop.
And what do you think there was in this room? The crib!
What?
The crib. The safe for the jewels! The crib!
Now you tell me whose rotten luck is it? Yours or mine?
Right... this makes me sleep easier!
And... and how were you gonna get into the apartment?
Knocking? "May I come in? I have a hole to drill..."
What do you mean, how would I get in?
Through the coal bin, of course.
The apartment is vacant. An unsplit inheritance,
the usual formalities, legalities, courts proceedings.
Vacant, understand? While here I am, locked up.
Where is it?
Via delle Madonne.
You know what I say?
What?
Sounds like a good sting.
I like it.
Where are you going?
I got a year... on probation. All my best. See you!
Drop dead, you cowardly scumbag!
The news traveled fast.
Capannelle!
What's going on?
-He's getting out. -What?
-He's getting out. -Who? Cosimo?
No, Peppe. He's got to give us back the money now.
For sure, or we'll beat him up.
You tell Tiberio. I'll tell Ferribotte. See ya!
Leave it to me!
Who's there?
Michele. I forgot my keys.
But you're pretty.
I heard you never get out 'cause you're ugly.
I don't know you. Leave. Michele is due back any minute now.
I hope so. I have something very important to tell him.
But first I'll tell him I'm going to turn him in for kidnapping...
I understand keeping a girl under lock and key in Sicily.
There's nowhere to go there!
Nothing but rocks and cacti down there...
Cactus is probably what grows in your backyard!
I wish. Only mushrooms there! I live in a basement.
It serves you right, talking that way about Sicily!
Just joking. My name is Mario. Mario Angeletti. And yours?
Carmela.
You don't say! All Sicilian women are called Carmela. But tell me...
do you really like being always locked up in the house?
Sometimes I get out. I go to the graveyard.
That's fun for sure.
I visit my mother.
I'm a real ass, sorry!
It's all right. And your mother, is she still with you?
What?
Is she alive?
Oh, yes, yes, for sure she is.
Michele! Hurry!
Carmela, get decent. Your fianc� is here.
I am presentable.
Come in.
May I? Good morning.
See if there is any coffee.
This question of the mattresses doesn't add up.
My mother says it's up to the bride.
What about the reception?!
Reception and banquet, we split.
There's another question my mother wants cleared.
She doesn't understand what business you're in.
What's that got to do with it? I'm... I'm a citrus fruit salesman.
Citrus? Would that be the company?
I'm sorry.
What's that?
You wait here, I get this.
-Desiderio... -What?
-Come with me. -Fine.
-Wait here. -All right.
They are releasing Peppe the boxer.
We've gotta get our money back.
God, I run like crazy... I'm all out of breath.
How are you doing, troublemaker?
Fine.
Out with the money.
Why? What money.
Can't you remember why I got it?
To go in, instead of Cosimo, right?
Right, and now you make sure you book a bed in the ER,
'cause we're sending you straight there.
You're tough. Four against one?
Yeah, but we'll beat you up just once!
Why? You should be happy to see me.
Wait a minute, wait. Easy.
What's the matter? Don't you trust me?
What is it you want?
I'm... I'm... in charge of the deal...
Cosimo told me.
What are you doing with that bottle? Put it down!
What do you mean, Cosimo told you?
Sure he did. The sting, we'll tackle it together.
I... I was coming to see you. No need for... watch it...
You're a sly one, aren't you?
Fine, fine. Forget it and let's get down to... Cut it out.
That's the baby's biscuits.
You're all so suspicious I shouldn't tell you a thing.
Fine. Prick up your ears. To pull this one off
we've gotta prepare everything beforehand,
calculate everything scientifically.
Do you remember Via delle Madonne?
Yeah.
Well, there's a pawnshop there. Know it?
Sure I do! They even got my sheets there.
We're not talking about sheets now. We're talking jewelry.
You're not thinking of breaking in, then and there,
in the middle of the street?
Of course not! We'll get there through a vacant apartment.
There - those are the windows. Right?
And that's the door.
Picklock?
No. No lock picking, we'd be exposed for too long.
There's a safer way. Follow me.
Over there, on the right, see the coal bin?
We'll go in through there.
And where do we come out?
I'll explain later. Capannelle, pretend to tie your shoelaces
and check out that padlock.
My shoes don't have laces.
Fine. Ferribotte, please.
8 mm pliers will do.
There. From the coal bin we come out there...
go down...
take that stairway, see?
Then up through the roof.
Another little iron ladder this time.
And from there, we come up to the terrace.
Just like an elevator.
-What then? -Wait:
move over so you can see well.
There, did you get to the terrace?
I hope so.
Now we go across the skylight-
quietly, everybody's asleep, nobody hears us-
and we get to that window, the one with the bars.
What do you see there?
The crib... The crib!
Sure, but you must be crazy. Sawing the bars?
Who said anything about sawing? Look at that window... on the left...
Well?
Well, I told you it's a walk in the park.
So? That's the vacant apartment's window. Look, there it is.
We go in... there's a partition wall that's a pushover...
and there we are: crib's room.
Nice and easy with all those millions waiting for us.
-What? Millions? -Millions!
Quiet!
Capannelle though, he can't come with us.
-Why not? -Look at you, dressed that way!
Sportswear.
Sportswear, my ass! You're in thief's uniform!
-You'll have us arrested that way! -We'll end up in jail for sure.
How do we open the safe? With the magic combination?
What kind of photographer are you?
What's that got to do with anything?
It follows. To everybody, the job he's best suited for.
That's how the 'scientific' method works.
You set up here,
with your camera and that thing that gets things close...
The telephoto lens.
Yes, that one. Wait for the employee to open the safe
and snap his every move.
Then we call a safe expert.
Dante Cruciani is the best.
Dante Cruciani, for instance. We'll show him the film, and that's it.
Great idea!
By the way, my camera is gone.
So what? At Porta Portese they have all the cameras you need.
But I'm flat broke!
Were you thinking of buying it?
Just work with me. We'll handle it.
You're bound to make a good impression on your cousin
with this painting. Don't you think?
Well, I really couldn't say...
See, see here, it has depth to it. See this tree here.
It's a very tasteful gift. Genteel, almost.
This cypress shooting up into the sky,
the pleasantness of the countryside, the ducks, the pretty dame?
And, look, signed by Raphael.
Yes, but Raphael de Santis...
For a thousand lira, what do you want? A real Raphael?
Well. I wouldn't know,
but a gift should always be the best one can pick.
Come now. For a thousand lira, it's a... steal.
That's true.
Cute, these aprons. Let me have three.
I think for my mother they're just fine.
-All three of them? -Yes, those. All three alike.
The ones with Donald Duck.
I got it.
Shut up and pay attention. There's the safe.
The crib!
Quiet, I have to focus it. I was trying to focus it.
It's moving. I was setting up the shot...
It's all blurred.
Well kids, the camera is old, the lens is old,
this ain't Hollywood, you know.
-And who's the kid? -Who is it?
-It's my kid, I shot a few trial frames at home. -He's cute!
-Really cute! -Cutie!
But he's crying. Why is he crying so much?
Daddy's boy! Look what a close up he got.
Look closely, now he gets up... goes to the safe... look closely...
Watch what he's doing now... and see what a shot I got!
We've even got the pants in the shot.
Filming the underpants adds to the shot... What did you do? Go on, go!
You're wasting our time.
It can happen. Now it's coming up again. Shut up. Here it is.
And what's that supposed to be?
-What did you do? -I shot it in over two days.
-Cute, though. -The kid, does he cry all the time?
I don't believe this.
I had enough. Who cares about the kid, really!
-And who's this guy? -The bartender.
Who gives a damn about the bartender?
I wasn't the one to send for coffee, you know!
There's a lady coming in now with a watch. She puts it down,
he picks it up, takes it to the safe. Here she comes, see?
-Hey, look, it's your watch Capanne', look. -What?
Quiet, now he gives her the receipt. There. See, now?
Watch carefully now, this is it. Here it comes.
It's skipping.
It skips because it's old; we got it at Porta Portese.
The combination, watch it, watch...
-All the money we've invested! -Money? I stole it!
Be quiet... So Dante, what do you think?
-As a movie? It's lousy. -Thanks a lot!
-Did you hear that? -Sure I did.
But what I got to see, it's better than nothing at all.
So... The safe: it's a Commodoro 50 model,
and not a particularly difficult one.
It's in the bag then!
Who's that? Ferribotte?
Ah, the job at Foro Pancrazio, via Merulana, 1952?
No, I didn't get the honor.
'Til last year I was in plumbing with Armando Lucherini.
Ah, little Armando, he knows the tools of his trade, all right.
And so?
Well, boys, it's 50,000 for my services.
-Are we understood? -Oh, God.
-What did he just say? -Exorbitant.
-And in advance! -Fifty thousand!
So it was up to Mario to come up with the money.
Mario, it's you!
Ada!
How are things?
Not too bad.
Ada, come see who's here.
Mario's here!
Hi, my beautiful big mamma. How are you?
Fine, and you?
Fine, fine.
Let me look at you. How ugly you've become...
What do you mean 'ugly'?
Assunta. Assunta.
I bet you Mario's here.
I knew it. There he is. Mario!
Ciao, my beautiful big mamma.
You're looking good.
Let's take another look. You look so run down.
-No. -Sure you are. You're so run down.
What do you mean 'run down'? He doesn't look it to me.
-The last one to see you, right? -Hi, mom.
-I need to have a word with you. -How are you?
-Are you back? -Quiet, don't shout.
-Take off your coats. -Wash your hands.
What did he tell her? That he wants to have a word?
Why her? Don't we count for anything?
-Did something happen? -No.
He says he's here for his bank book.
I need some money to buy a coat. I'm cold.
We'll take care of it.
The countess will give us one of her capes.
She's got a storage room full.
Can you picture me in one of those capes? I've had enough of them.
He's right. Mario is a man now, and he needs a real coat.
When are they going to get new ones?
This here is the hole I made to hide my cigarettes in!
Now, tell me, Mario... You're not unemployed, are you?
No, I work... now and then, but I work.
Why is it you can't get a steady job?
You're a certified cabinetmaker.
Right, certified.
I know what it is. He's ashamed to show the diploma he got from here.
Why does it have to say 'orphanage'... charitable institution?
What kind of a diploma is that? It's like being branded a son of a...
Mario, listen. We'll lend you the money for the coat,
but you're keeping your hands off your savings.
No, in that case I'll do without it.
Of all the brats that pass through here,
why am I the only one you put up with?
Don't worry, I'll put the money back.
I have some friends, and if all goes well
I'll take all three of you away from here.
Every safe is a thing unto itself.
Some have crossed bars,
some are triangular, and others circular.
All of them, however, are made so that the lock
doesn't have any openings around it.
Hey, what are you doing? Eating?
Just pay a little attention, right? You can eat during recess.
Now, one way to opening them is by using dynamite.
The system preferred by the famous fu Cimin.
Fu-Ci-Min? Who is he? A Chinese guy?
What Chinese? He was Venetian.
Fo means... 'the late', Cimin is his surname, see?
The poor guy got blown up with the safe.
Therefore, I'm ruling out this method outright, O.K.?
-So let's carry on. As I was saying... -Dante Cruciani? Checking on you.
Oh poor me, the cops, the cops...
Here I am, sergeant.
Rascals! Scoundrels!
If I catch one of them I'll beat him black and blue!
Rascals! They almost gave me a heart attack.
I thought it was unlikely. He did stop by yesterday.
Right, listen here... Most safes have three or four locks.
Only one matters, though.
And now do we know which one it is?
How do you know, eh? Drill a little hole and insert a pipe!
I see...
You fill the safe with water...
Water?
...from the lock that... water, water...
from the lock that spills the watery... liquid... let's say...
that's the good one.
But, is it practical?
No.
Guys, let's clarify one thing right now.
No method is 100 percent sure when dealing with safes.
There's one and only one guarantee: the circular saw.
And now let's move on to some practical exercise
with a dummy safe...
Here we are. See all these holes? These are all timings studied by me.
Watch it now. Fu Cimin system... dynamite...
Notice the perfection, and the diameter of this orifice here,
one hour and fifteen minutes!
One hour and fifteen minutes!
Right! Right...
In those times! Industrially powered saw, fifty kilos of metal.
Right, goodbye!
No, no... no, absolutely out of the question.
Well, look at this other hole, Wolgemut, German, handsaw.
With a lot of elbow grease you might swing it in three hours.
Have you got three hours?
Tonight we're sorting out the watches
to study the movements in the building,
the store's hours, very scientific you know.
Still, we should have three hours clean.
Now let's go ahead with the job... in corpore vili... You.
What?
Take the oil can and lubricate.
Lubrication must be continuous and uninterrupted.
I'd rather not get mixed up with these technicalities...
Go ahead!
Dante Cruciani. Checking on you.
Rascals. If I catch one of them I'll make him black and blue.
Ready? Go ahead. All ready?
It's 5:35 pm.
You tell us tomorrow.
I'm going, O.K.?
Dad, dad the sergeant is here.
Oh, God, God I'm done for. Hide the safe.
Cruciani! Where are you?
Cruciani! Are you there?
Boys! What's up?
It's the pretty ladies' soap...
-Hello, sarge. -Sarge, how are you?
Hello, sarge, just doing a little laundry, see?
Excuse me, have you got a match?
You could have showed up a little earlier.
You know I've got the kid, damn it!
The doorman opens up at six, then he cleans the stairway,
starting from the top floor.
The pawnshop opens at eight... Thanks.
Listen here. The tobacconist opens at 8 am too.
Gimme back my matches.
Take this... cutie!
Nicoletta! Nicoletta!
Buy two bars of butter!
If you don't have enough money tell them to put it on the account.
But hurry!
Isn't that our apartment?
Yes, and there are people in it.
It's over.
It was a tough set back, but our heroes didn't give up.
The owners are two old spinsters. They never leave the house.
That's really good news.
You shut your mouth! Kept watch all day
and didn't notice a thing!
But every Thursday they go to oversee their vineyards in Genzano.
Leaving the house unattended?
No, the little maid stays back.
And she's hot.
I got it, I got it. Whenever there's a pretty girl,
sooner or later, Peppe finds his way in.
Such apples, such apples! Sweet like molasses!
Ehi, do you remember this song? Miss? Miss, may I carry your bags?
Ehi, she's dumb.
No, she's not, right? You can't just leave. Listen.
You're gorgeous!
If you don't leave now, I'll smash your head with my bag!
She is sour and... sweet.
Leave me alone or I'll call the police.
Good, so we get locked up together.
Well? What's this?
Where do you live? This is a civilized country!
This is none of your business.
Shame on you!
See you!
Mother of God!
You bully! Let me go, you're breaking my arm.
This hurts! Good God, I'm sorry!
What are you doing? He wasn't doing anything! Let them go!
Just go, quickly!
Let's go, let's go, he's strong!
-D'you hurt 'em, poor things? -They deserved it.
May I? Pierluigi Capannelle, accountant.
Are you from up North too?
Padua... well, I really must go now.
Why?
My fianc� is waiting. He's off duty.
He's a captain, but next month he'll be promoted lieutenant. Goodbye.
Miss, miss!
Could I see you again?
What? Not today. I'm expecting my fianc� from Brescia...
I say! How many fianc�s have you got?
Three.
And with all... all your workload... you find time for all three of them?
What workload?
Well... your shopping. Don't you go shopping?
I do it because it's fun, I lend my aunts a hand,
as I'm staying with them.
You see, my father's a colonel.
Ah, I see, all in the army then?
No, my father is... what d'you call it? In the alpine corps.
The alpine corps. Good, good. In the North we're,
we're all in the alpine corps, right?
Hello.
It's only that, when you're a salesman
traveling all the time, your accent gets contaminated.
But traveling is so nice, right?
Right, but putting down roots too. Me, I am a gypsy.
It's ugly Miss, you know, to be lonely, defenseless...
Defenseless yes, but you're nice and strong right?
Well, yes... I do train.
You're not a boxer, right? So gruesome...
No, no, no! What boxing! Tennis, golf, polo...
I say, you know how to punch even without having learned to box.
That's not it; those two were two dirty low lives.
No... no... it's not like I despise the lower classes.
I like them a lot. Actually, the lower the better.
...I like... I like maids too...
Good!
Let's say you were a maid. I would like you all the same.
That is so generous of you.
Nicoletta! Nicoletta! What are you doing?
Coming.
Who's that?
He's... he's my boyfriend's attendant... Goodbye.
Could... could we meet tomorrow?
No, not tomorrow. Sunday, four o'clock, here. Right? Goodbye.
So, what's up with that one?
Nothing. He's my cousin.
Right. Your cousin!
Let's go so you can give me a hand with the shopping.
Let's go, let's go.
But Peppe and his friends didn't take into account that now
and then in Italy there's a general pardon...
Steer.
Kid, come here... let me in... follow that car...
Enough!
Go, that one, go, c'mon. There it is... bump it!
Hurry! There he is, run him down!
Get off, you rotter! Get off!
If you wanna speak with me, get an appointment.
Appointment?
Get your hands off me! Get lost! Take your hands off me. Go away!
I'll give you the appointment! Coward, come out!
Move Nicoletta! Leave me alone! ...and stop it!
Where are you running off to? I'll kill you!
Nicoletta! Here, grab!
What are you doing? It's loaded!
Stop! You coward!
Mind! There are live caps in it.
Don't move! I'll kill you, you know!
Are you crazy? You're blinding me!
Cosimo, stop! What are you doing?
You get out of the way. You went off with him!
Do you want to compromise yourself?
Stop it! Let me go!
-Cosimo, don't play the fool. -A fool?
St... st... stay with us. Let's work together.
With you?
We are all friends, right?
Shut your mouth, slut!
-Get lost! You old man! -Old man?
-You're old and you're acting all cocky! -Me? You're calling me old?
Careful, or I'm going to kill you, you know!
Cosimo, I don't bear any grudges,
if you wanna stay with us
and get your share.
Cosimo, he never just got his slice.
Well, then, I'm sorry,
but here we follow Menga's laws.
You're a dirty bunch.
Who is it?
Michele, I forgot my keys.
Just a moment...
This'll teach you a lesson for next time.
Ah, it'll teach me a lesson, eh? While you...
Come closer, I want to ask you something.
What?
I want to tell you that I don't like you marrying that peasant.
How dare you!
God, this hurts! God, God, God...
-Did I hurt you? -Yes...
Meanwhile Cosimo was thinking of revenge: Peppe and his friends
would not enjoy the fruit of their betrayal.
We're closed.
Just a moment.
Here you go, ma'am.
Do you know it?
Sure I know it. It's a small caliber Baretta, in very poor condition.
One thousand lira.
Well?
Wanna dance?
No. I've taken a pledge.
Well... maybe... you like me 'cause you're an extrovert,
my opposite.
I, on the other hand, internalize.
Maybe 'cause I've always been alone, I've suffered a lot in my life.
Happiness is like a flower that, you p-p-pluck only once.
Listen, why don't we get out of here,
I'd love to be alone with you for a bit.
Oh, poor devil!
Why? It's only so we can talk better.
To get to know each other. Any place will do.
Your place, my place. It doesn't matter.
-My place? -Yes.
What about my aunts?
You're contradicting yourself You're not all that clear then!
I'm sorry but you said that your ...aunts leave now and then,
and they leave the house unattended...
Yes, it's true.
So what? No. Let's be honest from day one. Otherwise suspicion,
the real kiss of death for love, seeps in.
Slow down, who said love? It's all in your head.
If you really want to know,
I've also asked Guido and Fernando here.
Them too!
I'm a well brought up girl you know!
I can't go dancing with one guy only. It would compromise me.
What you need to learn is that you must date me and me alone.
I date whom I please.
-Hello, Guido. -Hi!
-Where are you going?
Let go of me. Leave me alone. Don't be rude.
Fine, but remember that I don't take anybody back,
not even with apologies.
What do I care?
What a tramp!
She's playing hard to get?
She's not worth the bother.
Listen Peppe, believe me, let's leave it.
It started like nothing, and now it's blown out of proportion.
Damn her!
Don't you agree? I'm talking to you!
What do you want? Leave me alone!
This jerk! He gets all worked up about it. You were playing so cool.
Have you fallen in love with that maid?
Those two, l...
Come here!
Move,
and you get out of the way!
Ah, here again?
You're cute, aren't you?
What are you laughing at?
What? Since when is laughing forbidden? It's Mardis Gras!
And any joke is good, right?
Anyway, I am partner at a... at a funeral home, right?
And I am his partner.
Well, share this one then!
Oh, God!
Oh, our Lady!
Have you gone insane! For that tramp of a peasant!
If there's a tramp here, that's you. I don't even know you!
Ah, you don't know me? But I know you.
-Colonel's daughter all right! -Let's go, c'mon.
You're a servant, that's what you are!
-Who? Who's a servant? -You!
They've disfigured me.
-Would you cut it out? You've spoiled it! -Let's see, you owe me
four sodas, six Coca Colas, two cream sodas and one beer.
Did I drink it all?
Not drank, smashed. Wait a minute...
there're also two glasses, one chair and an ashtray.
-When? -It's all written here!
You're telling me?
Fine, fine, I'll pay... Right now I don't have any cash...
send me the bill home, right?
-Fine, what's your name? -What?
What's your name?
Capannelle, Capannelle Pierluigi, Circonvallazione Latina 457.
Four, five, seven.
What do you want?
Let me see.
-I don't know you... -C'mon...
this is bad.
'This is bad'? It's all your fault!
-Mine? -Sure.
And that one, who was she?
Well, one of my conquests.
She saw you with me and, and she got jealous.
Do you, do you believe what she said about me?
Well...
no.
Well, it's true... I work as domestic help.
What does it matter? We're a democratic country, are we not?
But I won't do the laundry!
Easy...
-Better? -No.
Still, this is the last time I go out with you.
Why?
Why? You fight in the street, you fight at the amusement park,
you fight at the dance.
It's better if we do it your way, then.
My way?
We go to my place.
-To... to your place?! -Yes...
This way? Right now?
Not right now. Those ones, my mistresses, aren't home.
Thursday night, they'll leave for Genzano
and will be back the morning after.
Is that right? Great! Great!
-I'll make you dinner, right? -Thanks.
Oh, God I can't laugh, it hurts. Don't make me laugh!
But at the same time...
Help... help! Stop, thief. Help! Let go of me!
I'm not a thief! What do you want?
Stop. thief... help!... Low life!
Stop, thief, he's stolen my handbag!
Today good news,
to... tomorrow bad... Oh, well!
Right it's like the proverb says: feast or famine.
-Hi, Mario. -Hi.
He looks as though he were sleeping.
Aren't you going in?
No. I prefer to remember him alive.
I'm going.
Wait...
here!
He'd been going down the slippery slope for a while, poor Cosimo!
A professional like him stooping down to muggings... that's kid's stuff!
The best ones are always first to go.
That's life. Today is your turn, tomorrow's his.
Right, and sooner or later we all have to go!
As far as I am concerned, better later than sooner.
-Hi. -Hi.
-Poor sod.
What's this? You show up with the kid?
What am I supposed to do?
He cries all the time, this is fun for him.
Fine, but it's time for you to park him somewhere.
Why?
It's on for tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night?
Right, the owners'll be away,
and the girl is letting me in.
How can we? With the dead still fresh in the grave?
What do you observe? Strict mourning?
As the saying goes: you're dead but they're still dancing.
Fine, right... you're right...
I'm sorry about Cosimo, still... It's his fault too,
yes... yes... if he'd only listened to me...
-C'mon... here. -Guys, the chief of police!
Scram.
The big day.
Who's that? Look, it's Teresa's baby!
What's up? She didn't want him in here?
Poor love! That husband of hers is a fine looking guy, really!
It's Teresa's baby! He's so gorgeous! Come here... come...
Shut up! Calm down. Hold it. Shut up!
-Look who's here. -Hi.
Hi.
-How are you? -Well so-so... and you?
Not too bad. Here.
Poor darling!
Listen here. Didn't I tell you I didn't want him inside?
-It's on for tonight. -Right.
In case something might happen, it shouldn't though, eh...
Knowing you, it will happen for sure.
Teresa!
What's up with this creature?
Is he doing it? Doing it regularly?
-For sure! Even three times a day! -Three times a day?!
There's something wrong then, poor little star!
I say: isn't it that to save time you've been feeding him your food?
No, more like the opposite, I've been eating his baby food...
one spoon for you and one for me. One for you and one for me...
Look here, I've lost four pounds!
Ah, poor love! I'd like to know...
How have you dressed this poor creature?
And these underpants, whose are they?
They're mine.
I haven't even had the time to do the laundry.
Actually, here, these two little rags need to be washed.
This too!?
Here, the biscuits, here, the baby food.
Careful, the vitamins are in the sugar can.
And the sugar in the talc can.
-Home is such a mess! -I believe you!
There, fine.
See you. Listen, if it turns out all right,
get me a new mattress for when I get home,
I'm dying to sleep on a proper bed!
Not to sleep with me, eh?
Sure, sure, of course! Sure I want to sleep with you,
still, take care of that mattress. Bye.
Bye... bye!
Who is it?
Michele! I forgot the keys.
Mario, don't be stupid. My brother is due any minute now.
Give me a kiss and leave...
Open up! You shameless woman!
Open up!
To you and to you! Don't be afraid!
Let me take a good look at you, so brazen faced!
Dear Lady, I wanna marry him.
You've been speaking to Mario?
Who's gonna marry you now? Here, look here.
There's only one heart in my breast and I wanna give it to Mario!
I swear he's dead. This knife here,
is made to make you cry tears of blood!
Michele!
Michele, no!
If this vengeance goes my way, you won't see him anymore!
-A crow bar in two sections. -Yes, right...
Blunt.
A dancer... that is a circular saw...
-D'you know how to use it? -Sure!
-With an attached oiling gadget... -Yes, sure...
Here we have a lubricating spout.
-Blunt spout? -Of course, blunt.
Here are a few spare tips.
Chisel.
-Blunt? -Right, blunt.
It's blunt all right. It has no tip.
Well, what do you pretend?
I've rented the other one this morning
to that famous gang from Milan,
the one behind the famous Swiss jeweler job,
it's been a busy week... right, very busy...
-I've rented 3 complete kits in 5 days! -Really!
Thank God, business has taken off again.
It's very busy.
So, let's go on:
three files, ten keys, one spear,
a cheese grater, where's the plunger? Here it is.
One frying pan, and lastly, the crank.
Right, let's sum up, briefly.
Listen here. To make a hole in that wall... right?
How do you go about it using the crank?
Right... we... we take all the furniture in the flat...
and we make a sort of a column... between the two walls... and...
and in the middle we... we stick the crank.
Good, very good!
Here, gimme here...
And now, a little signature on the bottom here.
-What signature? -What, what signature?
And the guarantee?
This is capital! I need a receipt.
If I were greedy, I would have asked for a deposit. Instead...
Will you sign?
I say, will you sign?
Good night! Are you slow?
Gimme here, go on, I'll sign it.
Let's just hurry up, it's already 7:30.
You've got penmanship, eh?
Be good, be good, let me sign it.
Right. The wrapping, that is to say the suitcase.
I'll leave it, right, guys!
-Here you go. Did you do it? -Here you go!
Oh, were you in China?
And, and this suitcase here?
This is my very own: I'm leaving.
How come you're leaving?
My friend, when there's a robbery, I never hang around!
I go to Spoleto, to my dear aunt.
Of course with my parole officer's consent,
one can never be too careful! Remember guys,
one can never be too careful! Break a leg!
He's right. We've gotta keep an eye out and work scientifically!
Hi.
Well, you're exaggerating now. What are we going to do?
We'll break the safe with the...
Death stared me in the face!
What happened to you?
I met the guy we stole the camera from...
What did he do?
Don't touch. He tore my arm off.
-He broke your arm? -Forty days!
And you, nothing!
What should I have done? I didn't even feel the pain.
It was more the fright.
Was he the guy from Porta Portese?
The very one! He took me the whole way home
and I had to give him the camera back.
That'll teach you to show up in time.
If you'd come in earlier, you wouldn't have met him!
Right, 'if you'd come in earlier'. I was early!
That's exactly why I came in late.
Fine, it doesn't matter. Listen up!
Easy, it hurts!
I'm meeting the girl at 9 pm
On the ninth, didn't we say today?
Capannelle! At 9 pm today. Understood?
Understood.
You, you'll be ready behind the newstand around eleven thirty.
The newspaper stand, right? At twelve I'll open the lobby door.
I say midnight because, follow me, at twelve those who are home
are sleeping and those at the movies still have to come back.
Understood? Clear?
-Not clear at all! -Why?
First of all, what are you going to do with this girl
once you're in the apartment?
Well, I don't know. I haven't thought about it yet...
A good whack on the head, right?
Fine, fine, I'll take care of it. Just take it easy.
It's, it's 7:34 pm. Set your watches. Let's go.
-Get lost! Well? -Doesn't anybody have a watch?
A watch, who's got that?
I did, but I pawned it.
Anyway, tonight I'm gonna get it back.
Oh, finally!
You've dishonored my home!
Are you crazy?
I'm gonna tear my sister from your chest!
Put the knife down! Are you stupid?
What do you want? Have you gone insane?
Who touched my sister... Let me go, Capannelle!
You'll get thirty years.
Don't move. Don't be a kid!
Be good! Have you lost it?
Do you wanna spoil it all, right tonight?
-I demand satisfaction! -Fine!
First of all, if he stays in tonight, just forget about me.
Easy. Your sister, I haven't touched her at all.
I'm serious about her. I love her.
I would have already told you if you weren't so thick.
Go ahead and stay, because I am leaving.
So? What are you going to do?
I've given it a lot of thought and I don't have the guts for it.
Are you crazy?
Maybe.
But you are wise guys, aren't you?
Cosimo was a wise guy too.
We've got it in our heads to pull the job of our life,
but it doesn't work this way for the like of us.
At least for the likes of me.
And there's my mother too.
What will she do if something happens to me?
Anyway, I've already gotten myself a little job.
At the Follie's theatre.
If you want satisfaction, I'll be there.
Boys!
I've had it! I really had it!
One's got a sister, the other his mother, another one the kid.
What's up? We've gotta make up our minds now.
Are we going through with this job or not?
-Are you in or are you out? -Yes...
-Who's that? -Shush! Quiet!
Who's there?
It's me!
That's Nicoletta. Move, move, get out!
Out of that window.
-Quick! -Move... damn you.
Ah!
So... what's up?
My poor shoulder! Damn it! I've been walking around for two hours!
Come in, come in!
How, how did you find me?
I heard you giving the address to the ballroom guy,
for that stuff you'd broken, right?
What a...! That's why they came here looking for money, see!
He's... he's my brother-in-law. This is his place...
I'm his brother-in-law.
Right now, poor man, he's... he's unemployed and...
so now and then I come here to... to help him out... right?
I'm collecting unemployment.
Sit down, sit down.
Ah, ah, ah! It's always so messy!
Be careful, good God!
Well, let's see...
You needn't feel ashamed about me anymore!
Pardon?
I've quit!
How... what do you mean... you've quit?
Those two old hags... I was their slave.
First moving, and then this furniture goes here, and that goes there...
I was never right about a single thing.
Dust this, polish that, go shopping, and the cats' litter!
So I let it all out, we're made of flesh too.
When they were about ready to leave for Genzano, I told them:
my dears, I'm sorry but this time you are staying home. I'm leaving!
Well. What does she mean?
That dumb head didn't let them go?
I had to let you know because that date we had in that house
is no longer possible, you know...
Right...
Now I better leave because the nuns where I'll be staying tonight,
close the doors at nine. Could you walk me, right?
What? Walk you?
No, I have to... I have to... stay here with him, poor soul!
Well, never mind. I'll go on my own. I won't forget today too easily...
Oh, my God, the keys!
I had them! Damn it!
Better: I'll throw them in the river.
So when they'll come back the two hags
will have to knock down the door!
Sorry, what did you just say?
Didn't you say that the two old hags stayed home?
Right! As if they'd listen when I speak! They're so selfish.
To spite me, they left cats and everything and went.
-So the house, it's empty? -Yes...
...and you... you have the keys.
What's does that have to do with anything?
-Fine, goodbye... -Bye.
-See you. -See you?
Aren't you walking her there? She's got the keys...
Which keys?
How, which keys? You walk her...
Ah! She has... ah! Ah! Right, that's right!
I'm coming, I'm coming too!
The keys.
There's someone who watches over us!
-You know what? -What?
I'm really starting to like you.
Same here.
But with good intentions or do you only like me?
I... I... like you
and with good intentions too.
You take my breath away...
We're nearly there.
Will I see you tomorrow?
Eh! Sure I'll see you, of course. I want to.
Ah! No. I can't tomorrow... I can't.
I have to go to Milan... it's for business you know. I'm sorry.
Will you stay long?
No, I'll be back soon and when I'll be back... I'll see you...
I'll see you right away! Of course!
-Could you do me a favor? -Sure.
Could you drop the keys with the doorman?
But didn't you say you were going to throw them in the river?
Yes... Sometimes one just says things.
Should anything happen, it would be my fault.
4 And... and what could happen?
Say... a fire.
It would be my fault if I didn't leave the keys
with the doorman and he couldn't get in. Say they'll steal something...
Oh, God, where did I put them? Virgin Mary!
Who would want to steal?
Oh, God, where are they?
Four years at their service and I never mislaid a single thing.
Oh God! I lost them,
what am I going to do now? They won't believe me, you know?
Easy, take it easy. Let's see...
in the bottom of the bag... here they are, here, see?
Damn it, you women! Head in the clouds. Here they are.
Will you go right away? Could you do it for me?
Sure, sure...
-This is me. Ciao, eh! -Bye.
-Come back soon. -Fine.
Please don't forget the keys or I'll get in trouble!
I'm telling you not to worry. Bye...
bye...
Fifty, sixty... eighty...
eight and five... ... one hundred and fifteen.
Mario!
What do you want?
Where I am from we say: only God knows if it'll turn out right or rotten.
So what?
Well if the rotten part happens,
I would beg you to look after my sister.
Respectfully, that is.
Well, if that's the case I hope they will catch you.
Fine, sure, don't worry.
Carmelina is locked inside,
I have installed one more lock.
-Why? -Because of you.
And I was wrong.
You're a good young man who loves his mother.
And you're right, 'cause we only have one!
Of course...
Popcorn, candy!
-Well? -No keys.
-Didn't you manage to get them? -No.
Damn him, he's joking... C'mon, take them out!
I'm not joking. She ran away suddenly...
she jumped on the tram and that was that.
-No keys. -Damn.
-If... if... if... -Listen here, you gotta tell me
who told you to go about things scientifically!
-Give me here... -What do you want? And you?
Who told you we need the keys?
Right, because you, you won't go ahead without the keys?
I'm sure you want the safe's keys too.
Sure.
How had we worked it out, before that wretched girl showed up?
Coal bin... courtyard... window!
Window, right...
Fine, let's move it... Pliers!
-You Capanne'... -What?
You'll be on the look out. Let's go. Quick!
Ferribotte,
gimme the suitcase.
Slide down, you're good, there's a pile of coal.
Go, go easy.
Did you land on the coal?
What coal? It's sewage!
It stinks! C'mon.
Easy, my arm!
You can't think about your arm right now!
I keep taking my hat on and off.
Ferribotte,
gimme a hand!
I was drying myself off!
Bag, tools,
you idiot.
I thought it was locked.
Let's keep moving.
Quickly!
Lock it now. First one, go in!
-What's up! -I banged my arm.
-Quiet. -It hurts, no!
I told you to keep quiet!
C'mon... what a guy!
Go on, move!
Take it easy!
It wasn't me, you know!
C'mon, move it.
These were brand new!
-C'mon, c'mon! -Easy, easy.
Wait, first one,
go on, c'mon.
You're so heavy! Damn it!
Hurry up!
-Don't talk! -Ah, help me!
-Silence, quiet! I told you to keep quiet! -Easy!
Silence!
-Don't pull me this way! -Keep quiet!
First one go on...
Who's this 'Firstone' anyway?
Whomever, let's go, follow him.
I don't want to stay here.
Why not?
Because I don't want to.
Isn't it comfortable?
You haven't been honest with me!
Me? You haven't been honest with me!
This isn't true. I was always honest with you. Ask Adelaide.
She is a good one to ask!
Why should I believe you but you won't believe her?
What are you saying!? You can't compare me with Adelaide.
What's wrong with Adelaide?
I don't like her, that's what's wrong.
And I don't like staying here. I've already told you!
What's wrong with it?
Nothing, but I don't want to stay!
Tell me why?
'Cause you haven't been honest.
Because you've lied to me!
Yes! You're ducking so that you won't get hit!
Imagine, I duck! That's you and you know why!
No, I really don't know what you mean...
You know it very well!
C'mon, let's hear it! What do you know very well?
I don't feel like telling you!
Well suit yourself, but I won't stay here a minute longer.
-Why? -Because I don't want to.
Well, you said you would before!
And now you're touching me?
What did we come here for, then?
Because I was mistaken... I thought you were honest!
Tell me, when haven't I been honest with you?
You know it! You know it!
Well, you, you listen to that Adelaide. That's your problem.
I don't want to stay here, d'you hear me?
Answer me, though! Am I or am I not right when I'm saying
you listen too much to Adelaide?
That isn't true! I've always been honest with you.
The same here. You must believe me!
That's not true! I'm telling you!
Listen, I don't want to stay here!
Tell me, tell me why?
I won't.
You don't like it?
Yes, I do like it, but you're a liar.
Me? You lied to me first.
That's not true! I've always been honest with you!
Listen...
Right, I don't want to stay here!
Ah, won't you tell me why?
I don't know how else to tell you. You haven't been honest with me!
Here we go! When you don't know what to say, you tell me I am lying!
Because you are! Listen, I don't want to stay here anymore!
But first you said yes! See it's you, not me.
Ah! We're on the horse's back... carry on.
It's slippery. I won't make it, you know.
Don't worry, trust me.
-We're going down here, it seems. -Quiet!
-What happened? -Keep quiet,
all of you quiet!
Here's the window.
Here we are boys.
-All ready to go? -Yes... yes...
Careful...
-The plun... the plun... -The plunger, I know.
Here, here... take it away, take it away.
-Slowly, you're cutting my hand. -Don't cut me, hear me?
Get down!
I'm exhausted. When I think that girl nearly dropped us the keys...
Hold it, hold it!
Here. Here's the dining room.
-No, I'm wrong. -This is the dining room.
Strange,
turn it on.
Don't turn it on, first shut the window.
This is the wall. Let's move the furniture.
Help me.
Hey tap it quietly, or you'll wake the whole building.
I have to try it one way or the other!
-I'd try this way! -Yes!
Let's do it scientifically.
-Go on! -Easy...
Oh, it's as soft as cheese. Oh, God!
What are you doing? Spot on the water pipe!
The light, turn off the light!
Shush!
Hello? Hello?
Mrs. Ciarrocchi?
I'm Fernando the night porter...
No, nothing. Everything's fine here...
yes, yes, the girl's left.
No, she didn't take anything...
Yes, don't worry.
I've called you because you said to call you
as soon as they return the keys, no matter what time...
So I called. Was I wrong?
No! Yes, I have the keys, don't worry ma'am...
The cats? The cats are a little filthy.
Well, a little filthy, there.
Yes, it's dropped one right now and run away.
I'm telling you, in the dining room.
Yes... just wait a second...
I'll grab it and I'll let it out... Right?
Damn it! You filthy fiend!
Hello? Hello, ma'am?
Yes, yes, I got it...
The keys? No, they didn't bring them back right now,
they brought them back while l was waiting for my sister-in-law...
No, I didn't get them from Nicoletta.
I got them from a guy who said he was her fianc�!
Well... He was a tall guy, this tall, what do I know!?
Don't worry ma'am, right. See you soon. Take care!
You wretch, miserable wretch!
What? If we'd come in with the keys,
it wouldn't have been burglary
and we'd have been off the hook for aggravating circumstance.
You're so stupid! You're such cretins!
Don't you know why I did it?
-It's my alibi. -Alibi?
Sure! That guy, the night porter, saw me and I gave him the keys.
And I'm fine, right?
It couldn't have been me... And you're my friends!
Actually... I thought it was serious thinking...
Ah, you had your serious thinking, but you're telling us just now?
And we are so stupid as to believe you!
We're in the hands of a madman, we're...
-Captain Hook! -Quiet!
I see! You've fallen for the maid!
Me? Me? Don't listen to him, eh!
Tomorrow, as soon as we get the money,
we'll split and I'll never see her again!
Imagine, me...
Well, and even if it were?
There was no need for her to get involved.
What did I tell you? He risks our skin, for a...
Quiet, I have an iron fist you know!
-An iron brain too! -Hold it! Be serious!
What's this? You wanna compromise everything
for a stupid issue? Look! Follow your elders!
Help me.
C'mon you two!
The door's heavy you know!
C'mon, let's rest it there!
Did you pile up the books?
Here, this is the last one.
Fine. Don't let go. The pan, who's got the pan?
I do. It's not like we're breaking the safe too, right?
I wish! Move more to your left, on the corner.
Ah, sweet safe! I wonder what you're holding!
-Who can say? -Quiet...
here we are!
I'm going.
There it goes... Hear the click?
-Is the wall holding? -Yes, yes, yes...
Good, good, it's giving way, there...
I'm not one of those guys that gets some dough, squanders it
and ends up losing his shirt.
I'll get a little house with four rooms
and a bank account for the kid, so he can remember
all the sacrifices his father's made for him...
And you know what I'll do? I'll get a beautiful mistress, see!
I'll give her a monthly allowance of 25,000 lira, perhaps 30.
But she pays for her food...
Here we go, it's giving in!
C'mon Capannelle! Instead of talking mistresses,
go get me a glass of water, I'm thirsty.
C'mon, Pe'! C'mon.
What are you doing there?
Mother!
What has happened?
Move!
That's the wrong wall.
Damn it!
We really blew it!
Nicoletta told me they'd moved the furniture.
This was the dining room.
This is what happened to the Rosetta's cook.
What cook?
We know which one is the real wall, right?
We'll break it and we'll end up right there.
-Right in jail. -Why?
What are you thinking about?
We need an hour and a quarter to make another hole,
when we're on the other side at least two hours
with the circular saw, look at the time... look at the time!
Well forget about it. See all this labor,
all this danger for nothing, fine. Understood?
Just see!
Good work, eh?
Good work yes, you see, a skilled job, right?
Scientific, that's what I'm saying, are we capitulating now?
Understood? And if we sped up? The doors are already off,
I say we can make it, right?
What do you want?
This is good.
Leave me alone, understood?
Impossible. We'll never make it,
stealing is a serious profession you need serious people,
not people like you. All you can do at your best is work.
Working... I know,
but working is tiring.
This is really good.
I don't want it, what is it?
Pasta and beans.
Well, I say, I got you all the way here.
If we had some mishap, am I to blame?
Everything was clear, all written down.
-Listen to me. -This is so good...
Stop thinking, that's the best thing you can do for yourself.
You're strong, hand and shovel, that's your style.
How do you open it? Damn it...
See, see one of the burglars! Pull it this way...
There's ice too, look!
So, you say forget about it, we'll lose all the expense money too.
There are four meat wraps.
Who are you blaming?
You know this is not bad! Good...
Sure, Nicoletta made it!
If we wanted to be really picky, it could do with an extra drop of oil.
Honestly. Here, taste it.
No... I don't think so.
I'll warm it up a little...
I like it this way.
Taste here, throw it down.
At home we say: saucy woman makes a good mistress,
bland woman a good wife.
Understand?
This is really good. I was really hungry.
Boys. I'm afraid we've broken the gas pipe. It doesn't light.
Oh, God help us! Saint Rosalie!
Hey, this is my tram.
See you, I'm going to prison to pick up the kid.
See you...
Listen here, when will I see you?
Why?
Well!
The less we see each other, the better. Bye.
Actually, I've never known you!
I'm a veteran.
Let's go, c'mon!
You... what are you doing now?
I'll wait for the 31.
Ciao!
So, where are you going now?
Well...
Well, well, well, I understand!
That maid, she's cute you know.
Quit, quit calling her maid, she's not going back to that, she's too frail.
Here they come! Act cool.
Damn Capannelle. Stop that alarm.
Oh, mother, it's the alarm! I can't shut it, it's not easy you know!
Let's turn around.
We've been out here two hours, won't you open up? We're fed up!
Get back in line with the others, c'mon.
Ah see! What are they distributing, winter provisions?
C'mon, you know very well they're calling out for work.
Work... let's split Capannelle... Go...
Let me go... I'm not in here,
I'm just passing by! Let's go...
Let go of me, let me go. I'll leave on my own. Let go.
I say,
Iook where I've ended up; with the workers.
Peppe, where are you going? Where?
I have to...
Peppe, they'll make you work, you know...
Persons unknown...
bore a hole to steal pasta and beans.
The police are still investigating a strange burglary from last night.
A group of thieves broke into an apartment in Via delle Madonne,
through a window overlooking the...