[###]
Charm School
Advice number one:
There's never a second chance to give a first impression.
That first image that we leave
in our interlocutor's mind is very important.
Call me to confirm, okay? It's urgent.
What?
It's the costume for... The performance is today, remember?
Are you going?
Oh, the thing is...
You promised.
Yes, yes, but I have an appointment with Van der Linde.
The fucking capitalist, fascist exploiter.
Multimillionaire, owner of half of Mexico.
But anyway, I swear I'll go to the next presentation.
Per-for-mance.
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
[ALL CHEERING AND SHOUTING]
Who the hell took my bra?
It can't be. I told that fucker again and again. What am I going to wear now?
Shit, this can't be happening.
It doesn't fit. It doesn't fit.
Fuck!
Hey, help me, please.
[PIANO PLAYING]
MAN: Waiter.
Thanks, eh?
So, Enrique, can I count on your support?
You know how important it is for me.
Look, Martin. Uh-huh.
I like you a lot as a candidate.
But you need to take care of your family profile,
because it's not exactly the most appropriate, right?
I mean, Martin, you're a widower.
And with the rumours about your daughter, l...
MARTIN: Adela is coming out of her adolescent years.
She's a great girl, with a lot of character, very honest.
I assure you, you don't need to worry.
Mr. Van der Linde. Mm-hm.
Senator.
The press is here.
I'm sorry. The press is here.
I'm sorry. Julio Mera, our campaign advisor.
Nice to meet you. How do you do?
Go ahead and see what you can do. Sure, all right.
CUCHO: Wow.
[CUCHO IMITATES GUNSHOTS]
Cucho, stop it, man.
Very galactic, man.
I lost my bra. Just wait until I find the one who took it, you'll see.
It's very hard.
Come on, stop it, both of you.
Stop it. You're wasted, and it's only 8.
Ready? Now the lights.
Look, Martin, I'm not comfortable about your daughter.
We can't give tools to the opposition, man.
You have my word, you don't need to worry.
Well...
[SINGING]
[SCREAMING]
Patience, please. The senator is here now.
Senator León, Senator León.
Does this mean that the private sector will endorse your candidacy?
We haven't even announced my candidacy.
But it's important for you to know that as soon as it is announced,
the private sector will be willing to fight along with the senator.
WOMAN: Mr. Van der Linde. ENRIQUE: Yes, miss?
Does the senator have the conservative profile that you want?
Martin is not only an excellent friend...
Senator, do you have any comments regarding your daughter's arrest?
Adela was arrested?
Guys, a picture, please.
Excuse me, excuse me.
I have a question...
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
A little smile, dear, please.
Come, put this on.
Dad... Go, go sit down.
The charges are for arson,
indecent exposure and sexual assault.
Sexual assault? It wasn't like that, eh?
Really? How was it then?
Fucking Angel tried to put out the fire with the wings.
Like this.
Adela, look. Isn't that your bra?
Yes.
Your shirt. What?
It has air conditioning.
That's my bra. You stole it from me.
Buy yourself another one, asshole.
Aren't you Senator León's little daughter?
You'll see how the senator's daughter cracks your head, asshole.
[CROWD CHEERING AND SHOUTING]
Let me go!
Don't hit me.
Miss, please get off her.
Come on.
You're... I got it!
And you still want to press charges because she stole your bra?
No! You can't lock me up like this, Dad!
Did you hear me? You're a... A fucking Nazi, oppressor, chauvinist.
That's why they call you extreme conservative.
What did you say? What do you call this oppression?
It's kidnapping.
You ruined my appointment with Van der Linde.
I spent months trying to arrange it.
This could cost me my candidacy.
I'm up to here with your little actress routines.
I'm an actress, Dad.
And I'm going to study in London. Same as Gael.
Uh-huh. With what money?
Are you threatening me? No, no, no. I'm making a point.
So forget about your parties and your scandals,
because I won't take it anymore.
Better now, before you go to the town square in panties.
Go. Go there.
[###]
[KNOCKING]
[DOOR OPENS]
Adela, if your mom were alive...
she'd be very sad
seeing us this way.
And we're always like this, Dad.
You're very difficult to talk to.
No. You're very difficult to talk to. You never have time.
Don't exaggerate.
But every time I see your
four tattoos... Five.
Where did you do the other one?
At Cucho's.
But where in your body?
I can't tell you.
Where?
Oh, Adela!
It's not even finished, is it?
[###]
Cucho. Cucho!
No, it's a very detailed job and the artist needs to get inspired.
This can't go on like this.
You're going to stay in your room all day tomorrow.
Maybe that way you'll think about what you want to do.
If you think I'm going to stay here, you don't know your daughter!
[###]
"I locked her up."
Keep dreaming, Dad.
Sir, sir.
No!
Unh!
MERA: Basically,
unless Van der Linde changes his mind, the party won't support you.
This just got here. Thanks, Gaby.
Oh, no. MARTIN: What?
Look at it.
[###]
MARTIN: Perfect.
Van der Linde is playing golf with the enemy.
Do we have a plan B?
I mean, to see what we're going to do in the next six years.
MERA: I know, Martin.
What we need to do is convince him that you are a family man.
And convince him that Adela can perform the duties of a first lady.
MONSIGNOR: God help us.
MERA: Not God.
Do you remember your dear friend, Macarena Rivera?
Maca... Yes.
Well, we put Adela in her school.
We arrange a dinner, we invite him,
and we make Adela look just like a first lady.
Completely changed.
Adela?
Well...
Oh, no, I'm falling down, I'm falling!
I'm falling down!
[ADELA SCREAMING]
I'm fine.
Dad! Daughter!
You? That's how I fall.
What's up, Monsignor?
Wasn't Mexico a nation with freedom of religion, Dad?
Yes, Adela.
It's nothing personal against the Holy Spirit, Your Highness,
but Buddhists also have their rights.
And the Hare Krishna, what?
I interrupted your breakfast, I'm leaving now.
No, no, no, no. You're going upstairs!
No, no! Go to your room now.
ADELA: No! MARTIN: What do you mean...?
Let's go upstairs.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Why don't we hire another daughter for him?
If some candidates change their names and make up degrees,
why not have a rented daughter?
I agree.
[###]
Dad... Shh, shh.
[DRILL WHIRRING]
Well, girls, we got to the end of this course.
I'm very happy, you were an amazing group of students.
Thalia, please,
never lose your sense of humour.
And you, Patty, please always... Dona.
Fina, I've told you not to interrupt me when I'm in class.
Monsi needs you. Who?
Monsignor wants to talk to you.
Tell him I'll call him back.
FINA: What call?
He's in flesh and blood, come on.
He's waiting for you in your office.
Okay. Tell him I'll come in a minute.
[###]
Well, I want us
to give ourselves a big round of applause
for finishing this course. Come on.
[GARAGE DOORS OPEN]
Engineer. You have two minutes, no more.
Thank you very much, you're very generous.
The incident with Senator León's daughter was a misunderstanding,
and it's fixed already. It's not the first time
that Miss Adela was involved in some sort of scandal.
Mr. Van der Linde, with all due respect, she's not who you think.
No, no, you're right about that. She's much worse.
Senator León wants to invite you for dinner
to show you that Adela can be a first lady.
Impossible. I have a business trip and I'm coming back in three weeks.
Perfect. Give me a month and everything will be ready.
Tell Senator León I accept his invitation because I believe him.
But tell him also that if I hear about another scandal from her,
you'll never again hear from me.
Understood? And now, if you excuse me.
Let's go, Mauricio. Thanks a lot, engineer.
I'll give your answer to the senator.
These are the last students of the regular course, Father.
Nobody else applied.
I'm even having trouble opening the summer course. I'm missing some.
Excuse me, do you use sugar? Yes, please.
I brought what was missing. MACA: Fina,
these cups are broken. FINA: Yes, I know.
But those are the only ones we have. Have tequila instead.
Oh, Fina. FINA: What? Don't drink it.
Father, do you want some holy poison?
Yes, Fina, give me one, please.
Well, let's go straight to the point, Maca.
Do you know who Adela León is?
Senator Martin León's daughter.
How can we not know who she is?
The other day, when we were watching the soap opera,
they interrupted it to show one of her scandals.
Well, the fact is that the senator is desperate,
and he needs to change his daughter
so businessman Van der Linde will endorse his candidacy.
Well, he'll have to change her for another one, because she's hopeless.
Well... Let's say, to tame her.
And in exchange, he's offering a generous amount.
Oh, my God.
We'll pay the debts with this, Dona, and we can even buy a silver tea set.
I'm in trouble, Father, but I have principles.
I have no right to charge the senator more than anybody else.
Tell him to register her in the course and we'll see.
But did you see the amount, Dona?
Yes, I saw it.
Tell her something, Father. Tell her something, that's your job
to advise the infidels.
Fina! What?
What this society needs, Father, is some order.
In the middle of the chaos, we need
a peaceful backwater, and that you can get at home.
I don't do it just for the money, Monsignor. I believe in this.
You don't need to offer me that much to accept Adela in the academy.
It's not for you to accept her, Maca.
It's for you not to throw her out.
I'm sure that won't be necessary.
Peaceful backwater.
My flat ass.
I'm sorry, Father. She's impossible.
Cheers, daughter.
Pack your things. No.
Pack. Dad,
if what you want is to get rid of me
send me to London.
It's not that. You know that's not true. You have to change, Adela.
That's it, period. Exactly, Dad.
I promise I'll behave, I promise...
No, no, no, I'm tired of you promising things that you don't do.
You can't make me, I'm 18 now.
I can't make you, I can't make you.
I can't make you.
You need money to go to London.
I can get a scholarship!
A scholarship, with your grades.
You'll go for four weeks, that's what we have to prepare for the dinner.
Adela!
If you don't go to Maca Rivera's academy, you won't see a cent.
No. No!
I won't go to a ladies' school, I'm not even a lady, Dad!
I don't even want to know.
Look.
You need me to go,
so let's make a deal.
You go to this academy and I...
I send you to London.
And if they throw me out?
[###]
MACA: Girls, I want to give you the warmest welcome
to the intensive femininity course.
In four weeks, we'll study the scope of the integral woman
to become a better version of ourselves.
The poor men can't take care of themselves,
and they need us to always be there, capable.
So we'll start with a big round of applause for yourselves
for having decided to take this step.
Okay, these are the aprons
we'll eventually use. And these are the folders for the course.
We'll fill them as an album
with everything we learn. Please pass them on.
We'll work straight
with just one weekend off between both fortnights.
Any questions?
Me! Miss Maca,
what kind of nice things are we going to learn?
Everything. From sewing on a button to embroidery,
from cooking a hard-boiled egg to making truffles.
And something very important:
To organise our time to be with him.
One day in Barbie and Ken's life.
No, one day in Barbie's life and his.
- the plumber... Oh, and something very important as well:
Eat cyanide. Bake the cat.
Drown the kids, take the gun to wait for him.
MACA: All right. Let's start by introducing each other.
Who wants to start? Me, me!
I'm Maribel and I'm here because...
MARIBEL: Mom, I was making caramel and it burned.
I tried to wash it, but it was so stuck that I put it to boil.
And then the soap opera started and I forgot about it.
[###]
I tried to move the pot from the burner,
but the dishcloth caught fire and I put it out with the Chantilly cream.
Move, move!
[DOG WHIMPERING]
Chicharo ate all the Chantilly cream that spilled and now he has diarrhoea.
Will you let me take the course, Ma?
Well, that's why I'm here.
MACA: Very well.
Let's see.
Hi. I'm Heidi,
I'm a Virgo and I'm very friendly.
Oh, and very authentic.
I met my boyfriend, Kike Van der Linde, in the Geological Museum.
We're getting married in a month.
Finally! Because I'm 25 already and...
ADELA: Kike Van der Linde?
You're the future daughter-in-law of the fascist exploiter...
MACA: Adela.
A lady never expresses her political opinions in public.
You can continue, Heidi. Thanks.
Well, Kike and I are going to live in Brussels
because, well, he got a scholarship.
He's very studious.
Anyway, I'm here because...
Black cod in sweet miso sauce,
especially for you, Mr. Van der Linde.
Thank you.
Please, enjoy. ENRIQUE: Thank you.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Hello? It's Lorena, my assistant.
Ah. Honey, why don't you find a male assistant instead?
ENRIQUE: What's wrong, Heidi?
Work goes first.
Nobody has taught you that?
Ahem.
Well, now that we're here together,
the Van der Lindes and I want to give you a present.
Thank you very much.
MOTHER: It's the place where you will study
to become the perfect wife that a Van der Linde needs.
It's amazing, no, honey?
I want to learn how to be the best wife for Kike.
MACA: Valentina.
I'm sorry. MACA: Tell us why you are here.
Someone else go. Come on, tell us.
No, no, no, really, someone else go.
MACA: Come on. Leave her if she doesn't want to.
Why don't you introduce yourself if you want to speak so badly?
Sure.
I'm Adela, I like sunflowers,
I'm a Leo, I like pink, vodka, weed and oral sex.
How stupid.
It's good that you like jokes, Adela. How cute.
You need a great sense of humour.
He will always prefer to be with a fun woman.
Thank you.
And the caramel?
The wrapper is more beautiful now that it lost its purpose in this world.
What did you do to fall in this dump?
It's a long story.
PIA: Mom!
Okay, if you generate flow in one sector,
the consumption goes up.
It's obvious.
[CLATTERING]
Ma?
Ma!
Honey, you don't say anything when you come in.
I did say something! Gross, cover up!
Honey, it's time for you to know that your mommy also has a sexual life.
Mom, but in the pantry?
Again?
Gross! And who's this?
Well, he's Nando. Nando, Pia. Nando.
Honey...
Honey, honey.
Nando is the Spanish guy that I told you I wanted to introduce to you.
The spinning instructor. You would look so cute together.
Ugh. Ma...
You could have at least said something nice to him.
I don't know, compliment his tan.
His tan?
It looks as if he got it in the cheapest drugstore.
He seemed stupid anyway.
Baby, not everybody has to be a genius of economics like you.
If you don't like that one, you could date his friend.
He's also a trainer at the gym.
Mom, what am I going to talk about with that guy, about Pilates?
Pia, he's Argentinean and he's very hot.
I won't go out with a peace of meat just because it's imported.
Pia, it's not because of that.
You've never had a boyfriend and you won't have one with that attitude.
You don't know how to treat men and you'll end up alone with your books.
And, well,
I don't want you to end up like me, do you understand?
So we agreed that if I took this course she would leave me alone forever.
Wow.
Come see! Come!
What?
No!
[###]
MACA: The beginning is the most important part of a project.
So we always must start with energy.
MACA: And when we take the last stitch,
we have impeccable embroidery.
I learned in Guadalajara, with Dona Ximena Sataray.
She was amazing doing embroidery.
And those buttons, Maribel?
They're eyes. Look:
Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh! Ah!
What are you doing, Valentina?
It's humanity's heart.
It's black, but it can be healed.
Well, we'll use it for something.
Very pretty, Heidi, very pretty.
And you, Adela?
Is this okay?
Hey, what's wrong with you, fool?
Maca, look at her.
Give it to me, Adela. Fina!
[###]
You put too many yolks.
Maribel.
Rule number one: You must have your work area clean, girl.
MARIBEL: Should I put?
[MACA AND MARIBEL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[MOUTHS] No, no!
[HEIDI SCREAMS]
Maca, look at her!
No, look at your stupid panties. Who do you think you are, Victoria Secret?
What's wrong with them?
MACA: Fina!
The iron has to be hot enough
so you don't pass it too much and make the fabric shiny,
so check it, please.
Valentina, here, on the shirt.
Now check your iron.
[WHISPERING] No, Adela, no.
MACA: Iron.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
MACA: Fina? Fina?
FINA: She ruined it. MACA: Fina!
FINA: I can't see anything, holy Mother! Aah!
[THUMP]
ADELA: Wait.
[FINA MOANS]
MACA: Fina?
[FINA GRUNTING]
Ah! You see?
For making me wear those starched skirts.
Dona Josefina, you'll stay in bed at least three weeks.
Oh, man. I don't hear anything.
Don't worry, doctor. I'll make sure of that.
Listen to me, obstinate woman.
You'll stay in bed.
And we won't call anybody.
Well, I already called him and he's on his way.
What did you do? Dona Maca...
I called him and he's on his way. And yes, you shut up.
PIA: I never would've thought of anything like that to end the ironing class.
If you don't take risks, life can be very boring.
What?
You can't smoke here, girl.
It wasn't enough to leave Fina disabled, right?
You still want to contaminate us all.
Let's see, she's not disabled,
and it wasn't my fault. And who do you think you are, Eco-Barbie?
I won't let you keep interrupting my classes with your nonsense, okay?
I have something to finish here.
Finish what?
Finish to learn how to be the wife Kike needs.
Do you know what Kike really needs? What?
That you read a book to learn how to give a good blowjob.
[GIRLS SNICKERING]
ALL: Ooh!
We'll have to call someone to do what Fina used to do around the house.
But those were men's things.
We'll remain in the dark.
And everything thanks to Adela.
It would be good for you to think about your actions, no, Adela?
Bravo, Adelita. Bravo.
Thank you. And I don't have anything to think about.
[###]
MACA: In the ik ebana philosophy, each flower represents one element.
Some elements are stronger than others.
Just as in a couple, there's always one stronger than the other one.
The monochrome is good, Maribel, but not submerged. It's not a fish tank.
Good use of the ikebana technique, Heidi. Congratulations.
Thanks, Maca.
What are you doing, Vale? I'm immortalizing beauty.
[ALL GASP]
Girl!
Wow!
Adela,
you're not thinking of your father's dinner?
We need to pick a theme.
Or your strategy to bother me is simply not do anything?
No. I did an arrangement.
Would you be so nice as to show it to us?
Mm-hm.
It's the minimalist ikebana bikini.
And I used the monochrome technique.
The same flower in front
and in the back.
Monochrome is the use of the same colour in different elements.
And those flowers are never used in a minimalist arrangement.
Adela, you didn't understand anything.
Very good, Pia.
Very good use of repetition.
Ladies, this is Emiliano.
He'll do everything Fina used to do while she gets better.
Can you fix the back garden, as we spoke about?
You dropped this.
MACA: The back garden, boy.
Stop it.
Stop, stop.
[MARIBEL SINGING]
Maribel, you're going to deafen us!
I'm practising the second voice.
VALENTINA: Oh. What?
Wow, hottie...
Come and see!
My king,
I'll put sunscreen on you, so you won't get wrinkles.
I don't think his is too wrinkled.
Testosterone vs. ultraviolet.
[###]
Two-one in favour of testosterone.
[WHISTLES]
PIA: Stop it! Are you going to lose all your dignity because of a couple of biceps?
Oh, but what biceps. My God...
He's so... He's so hot that it seems like there's caramel coming
out of his stitches.
Come on, I thought he was hotter.
[BOTH GROAN]
Vale!
Come and see him.
Come and see him, quick! You don't see this very often.
VALE: Yes, he's okay. Vale, okay?
Look at him, he's super hot.
Okay, he's super hot.
[TOOLS WHIRRING]
ADELA: Look how...
No, yes, he's super hot.
For that hormone trip, it's just an ass.
But what an ass.
MARIBEL: Heidi, come here.
HEIDl: I saw him already. No, come, look.
What is it? What's going on?
[ALL SCREAMING]
[###]
What's that?
It's my lucky garter belt.
I mean, I wear it in case I get lucky.
MACA: Each one has her own colour, and each colour its v oice, its identity.
Valentina is... let's see.
Okay, girls, find your colour.
Experiment, play with your tones.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
I'll be back soon.
Hello? Hi, honey. Yes.
Well, why does she have to go?
No, Kike. I can't stand her.
No. No, she's too pretentious.
"Yes, Kike, no, Kike."
Why doesn't she call you Mr. Van der Linde, like any assistant?
Kike, I don't care if you have another... Kike!
ADELA: What, did you have a fight with your honey?
What do you care? I just wanted to help.
Help, you? Yeah, right.
You only came here to ruin all our lives. But you know what?
I'll make sure that Mr. Van der Linde, my father-in-law,
finds out about the type of rascal you are.
Over my dead body, asshole. Adela, don't threaten me.
I'm gay!
Well, I think so.
[###]
Stop it, we have to finish the song.
GIRL: Okay.
[KNOCKING]
Vale?
Mom.
VALE: So my uncle, the priest, told her about this course.
And she registered me
to see if I get "cured,"
and also to forget Ana.
Ana?
Being gay is not an illness.
Tell that to my mother.
Why hadn't you told us you were gay?
Does it really matter that much?
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
Heidi, stop it.
Are you going to tell me that you haven't thought of all the times
we've touched each other?
Don't be stupid, Heidi. I mean, no more than usual, okay?
Not all of us have to live in your little world of appearances.
And Ana is your girlfriend? Ana and I
make music together.
How romantic.
[###]
MACA: We all have defects and strengths.
The important thing is to know them and acknowledge them.
Not to hide them.
What are you doing here, Adela?
The same as you, don't pretend.
Come here, sit down.
ADELA: What, you've never seen a tattoo?
I have more.
MACA: Look.
Don't look at me like that.
It was the '60s, girl.
I wasn't as moderate then as I am now.
Luckily my father registered me in Léonora Lerdo de Tejada's academy.
It's the best thing that has happened to me.
VALE: Our vacation is in two days, it's not worth it to escape today.
And London?
[SIGHS]
I'd rather live without London than become the domestic goddess.
Maca used to be exactly like me.
Bye, Maribel. Oh, goodbye.
[###]
You're the bravest of all of us.
Pia,
don't think so much, okay?
Bye.
Oh, no.
A little bit more, a little bit more. I'll come down soon.
Let me guess.
You climbed up, and now you're scared to come down, right?
No. I climbed to enjoy the view.
Wow. Your view sucks, eh?
Sorry.
Do you have a problem with airplanes?
No. I'm aviation engineer.
And I'm doing a master's degree in materials aerodynamics.
How's that?
And in your free time, you work for Mrs. Witch for nothing.
And you? What?
I'm an actress.
My name is Adela.
EMILIANO: And that?
As if I hadn't seen that one and all the others, the day of the sunflowers.
Do you want me to tell you?
[###]
ADELA: So since I never found it,
I had it tattooed, so I wouldn't forget it.
Why are you in a ladies' academy?
Because I want to take acting classes in London and I made a pact.
And why are you leaving?
I don't know.
I think I got scared of...
Whatever.
Don't go.
I mean, you're about to go on vacation,
and you only have two weeks left.
And what do you care?
Well, I have to stay for two weeks,
and it would be much easier for me if you were here.
[###]
MARIBEL: Vale, VALE: Mm?
how does it feel to touch other girls' titties?
Maribel, I want to sleep.
Too good to be true.
Well, I changed my mind, okay?
What happened?
I grabbed his ass.
What? Whose ass did you grab?
Sorry, you forgot this.
[GIRLS WHOOPING AND LAUGHING]
Thanks.
What are you doing in this room?
Sorry, Maca, I... I forgot... No. It was me, I'm sorry.
It won't happen again. I hope so.
It's too late. You should all be asleep, don't pretend.
And that goes for you as well, Adela.
I don't want to see you again with...
With anybody. Okay?
Yes. Good night.
What else did you grab? Nothing.
And what did he grab?
Nothing.
You weren't lucky.
Maribel! What now?
[GIRLS LAUGHING AND CHATTERING]
MACA: The domestic goddess also needs to rest.
Lik e the week end you go out every fortnight, girls.
But the most important thing is not to lose the style.
MARIBEL: Mom!
Mommy!
Bye. Bye.
HEIDl: Kike, honey. Beautiful, how are you, baby?
KIKE: How are you, eh? HEIDl: Good, I missed you.
I would love it if you came to scare away the idiot that my mom got me.
My cab is here.
Listen, do exactly the opposite of what you would normally do, okay?
Okay.
ADELA: I'm sick and tired of it! You didn't even come to pick me up!
The heroes of the nation! No, Adela.
No, no! Not the statue. Let it go, let go.
Let it go.
My God!
The dinner is in two weeks. You're supposed to be different.
You want me to change and be different, but no, Dad. This is me!
But can't you be the same, but nice?
Life is very hard out there, honey.
You must learn to negotiate, to be nice. If you don't, I'm afraid for you.
But this is me, Dad.
Feisty, impulsive. But I believe in what I want to do, I believe in who I am.
Why don't you believe, why?
[KNOCKING]
What? The report, senator.
Come in, come in.
I'm doing worse than Sodi.
Adela! It's just a dinner, can't you pretend for one dinner?
Unh!
Cuauhtémoc, your legs, man.
HEIDl: This one is gorgeous, Kike.
Hello? Perfect, come to the store, I'll wait for you here.
Yes, bring me the documents.
It's perfect, honey, I love it.
Did you miss me? Yes, honey.
I missed you more. WOMAN: Enrique?
What, honey?
What, Heidi? What, honey?
I can't believe that you can't even do this without her.
Honey, it's just some signatures.
Oh, yeah? And she dressed that way for that? She'll catch a cold.
Kike, are you there?
Kike.
The Women's Department is in the first floor, dear. I mean,
just in case you want to buy something with more fabric,
or class.
Sorry.
[###]
MARIBEL: It's a surprise.
One,
two and three!
Ah!
How pretty!
MOTHER: Pia, honey, Julio has been waiting for you for half an hour.
Pia.
Pia!
What happened to you? Don't you like it?
A domestic goddess should never make her man feel less.
That's why I dressed like this. I'm sure he'll love it, no?
Baby, baby, wait, please. Pia!
You look like me after a party.
Baby, wait, Pia!
MOTHER: Pia!
Hi, I'm Pia.
[###]
Julio? Uh-huh.
Julio Mera? Uh-huh.
Master's degree in economics summa cum laude from Harvard?
Nice to meet you.
I actually have something to do.
Mom! You like economics, right?
Mom! No, no. Shh!
Julio Mera, Mom? Mera?
Baby, honey, I tried to tell you, but, well,
it's too late.
Don't go.
Julio, dear, excuse my daughter.
She's just a little...
Shy? No, stupid.
Fucking Adela, fucking Adela.
MERA: And you really think your daughter needs my help?
Because I would think in other priorities.
Like what? Like...
To me, the economic tendency of Senator León is Keynesian.
What do you think?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'll get the door.
Well...
Well, we've always known that the problem with the city is...
It doesn't produce, it only consumes.
Pia, where's the idiot that your mom wants you to go out with?
Adela? Mera.
Come on, Pia, you should've told me.
Julio doesn't need to be scared away, he never paid attention to me.
Pia, tell him the truth.
The truth is that I don't need help with my economics classes.
I have the highest GPA.
How was I supposed to know?
My girl,
if not even this one worked out,
now you're definitely screwed.
And if now you're going to end up like me, drink up, baby.
[GIRL WHISTLES]
[###]
Cheers. Cheers.
To Mera's epic ass. Oh, it was like this, look.
Tight like this.
And to... Whose ass?
Come on. Whose ass?
A very pretty ass.
Let's go and get it.
[INSTRUMENTS PLAYING AND ADELA SINGING]
Stop it, man! That thing doesn't work.
Stop it. It's the only music that comes out.
It's not funny, it's not funny.
Come on, play one that you know, man.
I know, I know!
[BOTH SINGING]
Just what we needed! Go scream at your house!
What is it?
Soup, drink it.
Why?
Because a rich soup always helps.
No, no. Why do you insist?
Nobody cares anymore about being the queen of the house.
There are more important things.
Like studying a career and working.
Be whoever you are and let everybody go to hell.
I think the outside world is a mess.
But here, at home,
you can have a harmonious, nice atmosphere.
I don't see a woman trying to change it all by herself.
But I do see a woman keeping a certain order.
I can guide her,
and that's my way of changing the world.
[###]
[PIANO PLAYING]
I wanted to return the favour.
The serenade.
I didn't know you played the piano.
Maca taught me.
MACA: The mind is lik e an old record.
And the needle always tak es the same path...
[###]
until it finds a scratch on the record.
An accident that mak es you change the track.
GIRL: Just this one.
MACA: I'm cutting these.
Adela.
Get to work.
Me too.
Once, I knocked Paola's tooth out, because the dumb girl
made fun of me when I laughed and apple juice came through my nose.
With a booger. Hasn't that happened to you?
No. MACA: Adela.
They're all working, except for you.
You have a dinner to plan for your father.
I'm coming, Maca.
I'll see you later.
Come here.
Not with the students.
Okay.
You're a virgin?
I haven't been lucky.
I can't believe it, I'm sick of it!
His voicemail again.
We're about to get married and you can't even answer the fucking phone.
Heidi, come on, can you try to calm down, man?
Yes? And how do you think I can calm down, eh?
If I'm locked up in here with a drug addict, a mentally retarded,
a geek, and to top it all, with a lesbian.
Don't worry, you're not my type.
ADELA: Come on, come on, stupid.
I'm not a drug addict and you won't talk like that to us.
You know what? I talk to you however I feel like it.
You should shut up your little lesbian friend, who only talks about sex.
How disgusting!
At least Valentina tried it and she knows what she likes.
And she doesn't play dumb, like you.
In your world of appearances, you think Kike is the only thing.
You think you're the only thing for Kike? Then why are you so jealous of his assistant?
Adela. Shut up.
Low-level politician's daughter without principles or family.
Okay, fucking...
GIRL 1: Hey! Adela! GIRL 2: Adela, stop!
HEIDl: Let me go! PIA: Adela, let her go!
Let her go! Don't you mess
with my family, asshole! Let her go!
MARIBEL: Adela, stop it! Don't you mess with me!
Get out! Get out, motherfucker, get out!
Now, nothing happened, now.
I can't stand her.
Listen to this.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES]
It's great.
It's the last song I made with Ana.
I wish I were as brave as you.
Well, there's your chance.
[###]
ADELA: What's that?
EMILIANO: A seagull.
It has two tails.
There are other ways of seeing things.
EMILIANO: And this one?
ADELA: This one,
it's waiting to have its story.
ADELA: I like the stars.
MACA: Intimacy is always a delicate subject.
It can hurt many feelings.
I'll do this in the most delicate way I can.
We'll talk about something very magical and beautiful.
The intimacy that you'll share with him.
We're going to talk about sex.
Do you care to tell me who this belongs to?
Where did you find it, Miss Maca? I was looking for it.
The neighbour came and brought it, Maribel.
What?
No. Oh, Maribel.
MARIBEL: But it wasn't me.
MACA: Order, please!
Girls, intimacy is something very special
that you share with one person.
And that person has to be the centre of our lives.
[###]
MACA: There's nothing harder than changing the way you think
when you've thought for years that there's one way of doing things.
Adela, dear.
Sugar? Sweetener, thanks.
And a knife to cut my veins.
[MOCK LAUGHTER]
Can you take the tray? Put your cups there, please.
Yes.
ADELA: You spilled a little bit.
Excuse me.
Oh, oh!
Oh, thanks.
You're welcome.
MACA: And suddenly we learn that we can think in a different way.
That we have changed without knowing.
What's wrong?
Why don't you go back to class?
I hate tea. It's just hot water with herbs.
Look, Adela.
I used to hate tea as well.
When I was your age, I used to pretend to be tough.
I was afraid to feel.
To acknowledge that I was starting to care about people.
I felt alone.
I don't feel alone.
Until I discovered that a cup of tea
is the excuse to share with a girlfriend.
What do you care?
You only care about the money they pay you for us.
That's not true.
Adela, you and I can be friends.
[###]
It's cold. And it needs sugar.
MACA: Every seed gives its fruit.
And every period ends.
And that's when we realise
that our efforts always pay off.
Not even the morality... Yes, yes, yes.
ENRIQUE That's the subject that occupies us.
The thing is... Thank you.
Look, Martin, the last polls show it.
People want to go back to a Mexico with principles
where things are as they should be and everybody has a place...
I'm sorry, I was a little late preparing everything.
[###]
You look beautiful.
Will you introduce me, Dad? Yes, yes, sure, come.
Adela, Enrique Van der Linde.
Nice to meet you.
Very nice to meet you.
It was also a pleasure to meet Heidi in the course, she's... great.
Thank you. Ladies, good evening.
Monsignor.
Mera. Adela.
Well, I'm going to see how everything is in the kitchen.
Excuse me.
Beautiful table, Adela. Congratulations.
Thank you. Well, thanks to teacher Maca.
Thank you.
Start, please. Thanks.
Go ahead. Thanks.
Yes.
If you'll excuse me. Of course.
[MARTIN LAUGHS]
Cheers.
WOMAN: Cheers. Cheers.
I'm going to smoke a cigar.
Anybody else? I'll go with you, Monsignor.
Let's go. MARTIN: Enrique,
you know what your support means to me.
I hope to have your confidence.
Especially now that all your doubts about Adela are in the past.
Don't worry.
You have a charming girl.
MARTIN: Thank you. Excuse me.
This is one of the few pleasures that I have left.
Maca is more effective than I thought.
MONSIGNOR: I told you, she's a complete lady.
I can picture her face when she was offered all that money to keep Adela.
MONSIGNOR: Well...
MERA: You were saying?
MONSIGNOR: Excellent. She's wonderful.
[###]
Really, Maca. Congratulations.
MARTIN: Yes. You tamed my little wild girl. That deserves a toast, no?
I want to propose a toast.
No, no, no, I also want to propose a toast.
To our new candidate for the city government.
MARTIN: Cheers, cheers. ENRIQUE: Cheers.
Cheers, cheers. MERA: Cheers, cheers.
MARTIN: Cheers, eh? Cheers.
And to Maca Rivera.
Teacher extraordinaire and friend.
Dearest.
Cheers. ALL: Cheers.
Cheers.
And to my dad...
And to my dad, who was smart enough to send me to the course
after my arrest for sexual harassment.
What? It was necessary, wasn't it, Dad? Cheers!
And now that we're toasting,
this one is to Mr. Van der Linde,
who only endorses politicians who go to his same country club
and who have daughters like Heidi.
But nobody knows you, right, Heidi?
And you know what? It's not your fault, man.
Because in this little, pretty world of yours, nobody knows anybody.
Or they pretend to know each other.
For example, Mr. Van der Linde, listen carefully.
She, I and all of us know that Kike here
is cheating with his assistant. Adela!
What? That's why you don't answer the phone to your girlfriend.
Don't worry, Kike.
Because Heidi here... She already had sex with the neighbour.
Or are you going to tell me that it wasn't you?
Is that true, Heidi?
Heidi?
I couldn't do it.
But how I would've liked it.
Whore. Move.
And enjoy Brussels.
Come here, come here, Heidi! No, no, no.
Where are you going? Excuse me.
ADELA: Stay. Heidi!
That way you don't spend your money on useless things.
Like my dad. Who spent all his money
paying Dona Maca so she wouldn't throw me out of her school.
MARTIN: Adela, l... Because that's all she cares about.
Money, nothing more. No, no, it wasn't like that, Adela.
It doesn't matter, Dad. It doesn't matter.
Of course it matters.
Dona Maca didn't want to accept the money.
Adela, I see I was wrong about you.
You're much worse than I imagined.
Wait a minute.
I won't let you talk to my daughter like that.
You should be ashamed.
I'm very sorry... ENRIQUE: No, no, no, Martin.
I'm the one who's sorry. Very, very sorry.
And it's evident, Maca, that you manage your academy
perfectly well.
You can be sure that everybody will find out
about the true quality of your teachings.
Enrique!
Monsignor. Margarita, let's go.
Kike.
[###]
MARTIN: When your mom died,
I didn't know what to do with you.
I didn't know what to do with myself.
I couldn't bear looking in your eyes,
because I was afraid of hurting you. And I distanced myself.
I think I hurt you more.
The truth is that
I didn't want you to leave.
Forgive me.
What you need for your trip to London is there.
Dad, I... No, no.
Leave me alone, okay?
[ADELA SNIFFLES]
PIA: Well, look at the bright side. You have what you wanted, no?
Almost.
What do you want, Adela?
I don't know.
I don't know, but it doesn't happen because I ruin everybody's life.
I'd love to fix things for my dad.
And what are you waiting for?
Come on, Pia, how?
Start by thinking before acting.
ADELA: Good afternoon, Maca.
I came because I think we can fix things.
[###]
You and I are very similar, Adela.
Why are you leaving?
Because since the day of the dinner,
Mr. Van der Linde has been discrediting this stupid school,
and now they even want to close us down.
That's why I told her to accept the big cheque they offered her to keep you.
Fina.
I thought you did everything for the money.
So what? It doesn't matter anymore.
Maca...
forgive me.
I didn't want to hurt you or your son.
Emiliano is my son.
I came here pregnant, and when the baby was born,
she gave him her name
and she's been breaking her back for 20 years in this stupid school
to help us.
That one, this one, is Dona Maca Rivera, girl.
And Emiliano?
Emiliano... Emiliano went back to school.
And we have to continue here.
We need to take all these boxes.
No way, she's really closing it?
I have to think of something to please Van der Linde.
There's only one thing you can do.
Fix Heidi's wedding.
That's really hard.
And your dad's candidacy.
That's even harder. That's even harder.
ADELA: Heidi,
I feel really bad about what happened.
I wasn't thinking and...
I never think.
What an asshole you are, Adela.
You know what I wanted?
To marry Kike.
Build a family. Is that wrong?
So I'm wrong if I'm not like you?
The thing is, we're not different, Heidi.
Don't you see?
Excuse me.
Heidi,
if you love him, you can't let him go.
Kike is leaving the day after tomorrow. And I think he doesn't want to see me.
You know what? I don't want to either.
No, you do want to see him.
We have to try.
You think? Of course.
No, no, no. You really think we're the same?
Identical.
[###]
See you at ten a.m. at the geology museum
Done.
And if he doesn't go?
That's not going to happen.
Vale, I wanted to tell you that it's not true...
Don't worry.
I already told you, you're not my type.
I love love stories.
What's up, Heidi?
If you're gonna say something, say it now, because I have to pack.
How nice.
First you tell me to come here, to the place we met,
and now I'm the one who has to talk?
I got a message from your cell phone, so you were the one who called.
That's strange.
Because I also got a message from your cell phone.
Well, then it was a mistake.
If you don't have anything to tell me, I'm going.
You don't have anything to say?
No.
Kike.
[CLEARS THROAT]
It was a charity gala, like any other.
[SYNTHESIZER PLAYING]
And Heidi... Maribel!
Bored with the tiring social bustle,
decided to take a walk around the museum.
Oh! I'm so bored with the tiring social bustle.
I'd better look at these cavemen.
What big eyes you have! What big eyes you have!
The better to...
The better to see the diplodocus.
And what...
What big hands you have! What big hands you have!
The better to...
To better catch the mammoths.
No! It wasn't like that!
Look, that day, I was looking for my cousin Katita, so...
So...
Heidi met the perfect homo sap.
"Sapiens." Sapiens.
And Maribel?
There weren't any more diplodocus in the cave age.
Ah.
Okay, can we go on now?
Well, if you want to do it wrong,
do it wrong.
No, it's not that. That day, I was
wasted. Oh, oh.
Oh, yes.
So I saw him, and I said
I have to touch him because he looks so real.
Touch whatever you want.
Little shepherdess of the Alps.
KIKE: No, no, no. It wasn't like that. Move, move, move.
She touched my face. Oh, Kike,
I'm sorry. With the neighbour,
nothing happened. I just didn't want you
to go with that bitch.
Honey. I was very angry.
I was nervous about the trip, but nothing happened.
Oh, Kike.
ADELA: Bravo!
That's it. Now we need to get you married and everything's fine.
But what are we going to do? I cancelled everything,
and I have to leave early tomorrow.
Don't worry. We can do it tonight.
You call the guests and I...
Hello? He...
Demostenes, turn that thing off!
Mera. Mera?
Adela. I need you to get... Mera?
the catering service. Yes, it's him.
Yes, please. Give it to me.
Okay, thanks. Give it to me.
Pia, you have to find Monsignor so he can marry them.
Me? I can bring Monsignor.
He's my uncle, the priest.
ADELA: Kike?
I'm going to have to talk to your dad.
Could you find out where he'll be today?
KIKE: Yes, yes, sure.
[###]
But... Forgive me for interrupting.
It's very important that I tell you this.
Look, look. No more!
Heidi didn't really cheat with the neighbour, sir.
What's wrong with you? Let me go!
Mr. Van der Linde!
What, asshole?
Thank you.
Mrs. Van der Linde. It's you again.
Please, ma'am, you really have to listen to me.
It's Kike, ma'am.
He's getting married today at the National History Museum.
And if you don't help me to convince your husband, he'll go to Belgium
without having fixed this.
Think about it.
[DOOR CLOSES]
HEIDl: Honey? KIKE: What, baby?
Do you have Camila's mom's number?
No, but call Paco at his office.
Paco? I don't think so, eh?
Sir, sir, the cake is that way. Who told you?
Young man, the chair goes there. Please, the canapés.
No more, no. Not now, Maribel.
Too much! No, the lights don't go like that! Let me see.
They go like this.
Like this?
More or less.
But if you want, I'll show you how.
Yes?
[TYRES SCREECH]
Move from there, right now.
I won't move.
Move!
I won't move until I talk to you.
Don't you understand that I don't ever want to see you again?
Enrique, get in the car!
[###]
Where were you? Where's Adela?
I don't know.
We have a problem. What?
Monsignor won't hear about the wedding because of what happened.
I know what we can do. What, what?
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
Yes, but quickly, I'm watching my soap opera.
What? Now?
Right away.
Dona Maca!
[CROWD APPLAUDING] [ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
My girl. Mom.
Kike. The bride and groom!
Okay. Monsignor didn't want to come to marry you guys.
But I have a rabbi and a Hare Krishna. Which one do you prefer?
Or a shaman?
[###]
MOTHER: What a place to get married! HEIDl: What's wrong with it?
Besides, Mr. Van der Linde is nowhere to be found.
And there's no priest, there's... nothing.
Mom. This is the wedding I want.
Then you will be very happy.
Thanks, Mom, thanks.
I love you.
Dad.
Well, here we are, aren't we?
Pia invited us.
Thanks.
KIKE: Honey.
My parents haven't arrived yet.
And I don't think they'll come.
No, they will come, Kike. Don't get sad.
Can we congratulate the bride and groom?
Look! How are you, son?
My dear boy. I told you he would come.
And where are the bride and groom that I have to marry?
Oh, honey.
Thank you.
Only one person was able to convince me to come.
Convince us.
In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.
ALL: Amen.
Let happiness be with you forever.
You may kiss the bride.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
[ALL CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Two, one... No.
Okay.
Yale, Harvard,
Cambridge, Oxford.
That thing about changing your personality suits you very well.
Do you want to know a secret?
I'm still the same one.
MOTHER: Wow, baby.
I think I finally found you a good guy, no?
Mom! Baby.
Look, you don't need to worry about this one.
Come here, my senator.
MARTIN: Let's go over there.
Mr. Van der Linde, I have to tell you two things.
I'm a blockhead and it's not my dad's fault.
He did everything he could.
You're completely right, Adela.
You're a blockhead.
MARTIN: Excuse me, may I dance with my daughter?
Thanks.
But, well, Adela, if all this was done thanks to you,
it must have been because of your father's education.
So I'm willing to give him all my support.
Well, thank you very much.
But the support I need the most is from a woman who is going to London.
To be a great actress.
Thank you very much for everything, Maca.
She's an excellent student.
Okay, okay, cheers. Cheers.
Excuse me.
Good evening, Mexico!
I want to tell you that I'm very happy
and I want you to meet a woman,
a star.
I give you, Valentina!
[CROWD CHEERING]
Hello.
Well, we want to dedicate this song
to love...
[CROWD CHEERS]
because at the end,
it's all that matters.
[CROWD CHEERING]
[SINGING]
Pia and Mera live at Harvard...
She's doing her PhD while he takes Pilates classes.
Kike and Heidi live happily. Kike finally has a male assistant!
Maribel is the queen of banquets... Soon she will open her own academy.
Valentina and her band recorded their first record...
They're touring the world.
Senator León ran for governor... He lost.
Emiliano finished his master's in aerodynamics... He hates to fly
I love you. Don't let them tame you!
Adela went to London... She's filming a movie with Gael.
[CROWD CHEERING]
There's nothing like classical things.
But if what you like is the shining things, then shine!
You are who you are, enjoy it. In any colour.
Cut!
Good!
Good, good, very good.
Thanks. You were splendid.
Thanks a lot. Congratulations.
Let's take five minutes. Thanks, guys.
Hot mama, I mean, hot daddy.
You can tell he knows how to grab it.
Fina! What?
Fina? My Chanel.
What Chanel?
Move, you're ruining my bouquet.
You put a little bit.
Little nothing. besides, I caught you
flirting with that guy, eh?
You're crazy.
Well, maybe a little. So?
Macarena Rivera.
Don't give him the chance to put his hand there.
I wish.
I wish, please.
[###]