[Merry instrumental music]
Garfield, wake up!
- Good morning. - No time for small talk.
It's Christmas morning, and you know what that means.
Of course I do. Christmas means presents. Lots and lots of presents.
First things first. You can't open presents on an empty stomach.
Here are your breakfast lasagnas. You may eat your way to the tree.
Okay, Garfield. You wait right here while I get your gift.
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
Now that's what I call a Christmas gift.
[Ceremonial instrumental music]
It's the gift that keeps on giving, Garfield. Here, let me show you.
Now watch this. This gift-giving machine can read your mind!
Whatever you think of, it will give you. Observe.
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
[Machine whirring]
Neat, huh?
Let me try that.
[Machine whirring]
And that's just for starters.
Now this is what Christmas is all about.
[Singing] Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Just when you think all your presents are accounted for
That's the time you gotta ask for more
Christmas is my favorite time of year
'Cause that's the time I get my Christmas cheer
Come on, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah
I'm gonna shake all the goodies right off this tree
Come on, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Yeah
Things! Stuff! Gadgets!
Toys! Greed! Avarice! I love it!
Hey, Garfield, wake up.
[Lively instrumental music]
Oh, it's you.
Leave your number, I'll get back to you.
Hey, Garfield, guess what today is.
Listen carefully, Jon, I don't do pop quizzes before breakfast, okay?
Are you ready for this, Garfield? It's Christmas Eve morning!
We're going to pack up our presents and go to the farm for Christmas.
Won't that be fun?
You've got a real sick sense of humor, Jon. You know that, don't you?
The whole family is gonna be there. Dad, Mom, and Grandma, and Doc Boy.
GARFIELD: And good boy, and bad boy, and oh boy, and atta boy...
Come on, Garfield. We have a busy day ahead of us.
[Whispering] Why is it every Christmas, I get drug out of my warm bed...
just to see some stupid old relatives?
And why is it I always have to go to the stupid old farm?
Why can't they come here where my warm bed is?
And why am I whispering?
[Happy instrumental music]
We're almost back on the farm now, boys.
I can almost smell Mom's chestnut dressing baking in the oven right now.
[Sniffing]
That's not what I smell.
There's no doubt about it. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
The air is crisp, homes are brightly decorated...
and everybody is walking around with big smiles on their faces.
Almost everybody.
I think the best part is watching the faces of children...
and sharing the memories of being a child at Christmas.
I remember when my brother Doc Boy and I were little.
Oh, brother, here we go again!
[Singing] Dad would chop down the tree
Chores!
While Mom would fix up a meal
Work!
Doc Boy would get in the way
Fighting! Big, fat hairy deal
Decorating the tree
Gardening!
Wiring all of the lights
Electrical contracting!
Wrapping boxes and writing out cards
Office work, out of sight!
Then we'd take those presents and pile them under the tree
We'd barely get a wink of sleep wondering what they could be
The special gifts of Christmas
Christmas!
That really make it great
It's so great!
Are the insomnia and the anxiety
Kids get from having to wait
Can't wait till Christmas
There's so much to do
Can't wait till Christmas
Wake me when it's through
JON: Now, behave yourself this Christmas, Garfield.
GARFIELD: No problem, I'll wait in the car.
[Knocking on door]
[Merry instrumental music]
JON: Ho, ho, ho.
- Merry Christmas, Mom! - Merry Christmas to you, too, honey!
It's so nice to see you. Here, let me take those packages.
[Merry instrumental music continues]
Hi, Dad. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, city slicker.
Doc Boy! How's my favorite brother?
Don't call me Doc Boy. And you've probably forgotten I'm your only brother.
Oh, right.
GRANDMA: Don't mind me. You can visit till your lips fall off, for all I care.
I'll just sit here in the dark, alone...
until you decide to come over and pay your respects.
Nobody gives a hoot about an old woman like me, anyway.
How could I ignore my favorite girl? Merry Christmas, Grandma.
GRANDMA: Merry Christmas, Jon!
- How have you been? - I've been doing okay, considering.
What's this, Jon? I see you're putting on a little belly.
Is that city life making you soft?
[Gasps]
[Coughing]
You're getting soft, boy! You need to get more physical.
Take me. I do 100 sit-ups every morning. My belly is hard as a rock.
Come on, hit me right here. Give me your best shot.
[Stuttering]
JON: Grandma, you remember Garfield, don't you?
Well, I'll be.
I remember back when all we had were wood-burning cats.
What won't they think of next?
Bizarre.
Isn't this wonderful?
The whole family is together again for the holidays.
We're going to have such a splendid Christmas.
I'm so happy I could just burst.
Oh, put a sock in it, dearie. Let's go finish dinner.
I can see Grandma and I are going to get along just fine.
[Merry instrumental music]
This is what it's all about, right, boys?
Hard work, brisk weather, and beautiful scenery.
GARFIELD: What scenery? I think somebody turned the lights out.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say things can't get much worse than...
I got to quit saying that.
[Upbeat instrumental music]
You're not thinking of putting chili powder...
in my sausage gravy, are you, Grandma?
Why, no!
Heavens to Betsy, child, what would give you such a notion?
Just because my chili gravy won a blue ribbon at the county fair...
and your gravy didn't even place.
Who am I to tell you how to make gravy?
The Green County Gravy Champion, that's who.
Hey, Garfield, where's Odie?
In the barn. Let's eat.
[Sniffling]
[Laughing]
Hello, what's this?
Why, it's sausage gravy.
[Merry instrumental music]
Perfect.
This smells great.
MOM: Thank you.
[Whistling]
Doc Boy, will you say grace, please?
- Aw, Mom. - Doc Boy...
I never know what to...
Lord, we just want to tell you...
how grateful we are for this food...
and for letting us all be here together on Christmas Eve.
Amen.
And as surely as the waters...
of the streams and the rivers find the sea...
let each of us find happiness and wisdom...
in this, our...
Thanks, Lord. Let's eat.
- Hey, Mom, pass the potatoes, please. - Scalloped, whipped, baked, or boiled?
Mom, you always fix too much food.
I know, honey, I know. Now what would you like?
I can't decide. Just give me a piece of pie.
MOM: Apple, peach, pumpkin, blueberry, cherry, or banana cream?
[Impish instrumental music]
Attentive service. Excellent cuisine.
However, the decor leaves something to be desired.
I give this place two stars.
You sure are packing the food away tonight, Grandma.
I'm eating for two, now, dear.
DAD: Aw.
That was a great meal, Mom.
- And you, too, Grandma. - Thank you, Jon.
MOM: Well, it wasn't much, but I was hoping you'd like it.
JON: Hey, Garfield, there's plenty of leftovers.
Would you like something to eat?
No, thank you, Jon.
I have opted to watch my waistline this holiday season.
Okay, everybody, it's time to trim the tree.
[Panting excitedly]
[Militaristic instrumental music]
[All chattering]
Just listen to them, Garfield.
All jawing at once like a bunch of banshees.
Crazy, isn't it?
Of course, to make it through this whole life, you have to be a little crazy.
You said it, Grandma.
Why, just look at me. I talk to cats.
[Laughing]
Careful, Dad. Don't hurt yourself.
Why is it we always put the stupid star on last?
Why don't we put the star on the top of the tree and then put the tree up?
Well, it just wouldn't be Christmas if we put the star on first, honey.
Hey, Garfield, come over here.
Garfield, I have a very important job for you.
It's a dangerous assignment, but if you succeed...
you'll be a hero.
A hero? I like that.
I want you to take this star up the tree and put it on the top.
Climbing trees is my life, sir.
If I'm not back in an hour, send a banana cream pie after me.
This is gonna be a piece of cake.
Never send a man to do a cat's job.
[Militaristic instrumental music]
[Tense instrumental music]
[Comical instrumental music]
[All cheering]
[Comical instrumental music]
Whoever invented Christmas trees should be drug out into the street and shot.
Is everybody ready?
Here we go.
[All exclaiming]
Nice touch.
And now, everyone, my little boy is going to favor us with a Christmas song.
I don't know about this, Mom.
Boy, you doggone better well play!
Those 24 years of piano lessons better be worth something.
[Playing piano]
[Singing badly] Oh, Christmas tree Oh, Christmas tree
How lovely are thy...
GRANDMA: Scoot over, sonny boy!
Let old Grandma take a whack at that.
Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree How lovely are thy branches!
[Scatting]
Well, what do you think, dearie?
That was interesting.
You better not touch those ivories...
until they've had a chance to cool down for a while.
Get on down!
Why don't you play for us, Mom?
[All singing] Christmas is here
Mistletoe and laughter
Carols and bells
Ringing to the rafters
Lights on a tree
Candles all aglow
And all who pass by say "hello"
Why, hello, Garfield.
How did you know I needed a kitty in my lap?
Wild guess.
Since Grandpa passed on...
I've whiled away many a lonely hour rocking and stroking my cats.
I envy those cats.
Grandpa was a proud man. A strong man.
He was a good provider.
We never had much money...
but we always had plenty of food on the table.
And he always made something special...
for me and each of the children at Christmas.
Men like him didn't feel like they could show much affection outwardly...
to the children, but on Christmas, it was okay.
He always pretended not to be excited on Christmas morning...
but his eyes gave him away.
[Peaceful instrumental music]
I think it was his favorite day of the year.
Sometimes I wake up in the night...
and I can still feel his strong arms around me.
This is the night I miss him the most.
Keep Christmas here
In your heart
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for...
Dad to read us our Christmas story.
[All cheering]
Which is entitled...
Binky: The Clown who Saved Christmas.
Do I have to do this?
Here's the book, dear.
Now, go over to your favorite chair, and we'll all listen to you read the story.
I'm beginning to feel a little silly reading this book year after year.
- But think of the children, dear. - Yeah.
- They so look forward to it. - Right, Dad.
Yeah, let's see if Binky saves Christmas again this year.
[Both laughing]
"Once upon a time, there was a clown named Binky, who loved children.
"Every time Binky saw children, he would say:
"'Hey, kids..."'
No, no, Dad. Read it with more emotion.
Yeah. And why don't you say it like Binky says it?
"Every time Binky saw children, he would say:
"'Hey, kids!"'
Cut that out.
"And once again, Binky the clown saved Christmas for children all over the world."
The end.
I don't know about you, Jon, but for a couple of minutes there...
I was getting pretty worried.
Me, too.
All right, boys. It's time to get ready for bed.
- All right! - Yeah.
[Upbeat instrumental music]
[Upbeat instrumental music continues]
[Peaceful instrumental music]
[Peaceful instrumental music continues]
Odie?
Now where did he go?
You can never find an elf when you need one
When you got to get that toy beneath the tree
Yeah, when an elf is what you need, His energy, his speed
There never seems to be one that's free
Then comes that magical moment
And so the story goes, on Christmas Eve
When elves and other weirdoes
Think it's better than your fantasies
So you can never find an elf when you need one
And you don't know what you're gonna do.
But if you believe
The magic of Christmas Eve
Then one finds you
I don't believe it. These letters must be 50 years old.
[Whispering] Hey, Dad.
Hey, Dad, you awake?
[Yelling] Dad, you awake?
- I'm awake now. What do you boys want? - Is it time to open our presents yet?
It's 1:30 a.m. No, it's not time to open presents yet.
It is Christmas morning now, you know.
Doc Boy has a point there, Dad.
Any time after midnight is technically Christmas morning, you know.
DAD: Go to bed.
All right, all right.
Pleasant dreams, Dad.
DOC BOY: It is Christmas morning. JON: I know that, and you know that.
[Rooster crowing]
[Merry instrumental music]
What do you boys want to do first?
Do you want to do chores, do you want to eat breakfast...
or do you want to open presents?
Presents!
Oh, Mom and Dad. Thank you!
Well, that was a very nice Christmas.
It's not over yet. One minute.
Why, thank you, Garfield. What's this?
[Sentimental instrumental music]
Oh, my.
Oh, my!
What are they, Grandma?
Jon, these are love letters your Grandpa sent me...
when we were courting a long, long time ago.
"My darling, if the sea were of ink, and the sky of parchment...
"I could not begin to write my love for you.
[Chuckling]
"When next we meet..."
Oh, my.
Well, what does he say, Grandma?
It is inappropriate for a lady to talk about her romances, my dear.
Garfield, I don't know how you managed to find these letters.
I think they are the nicest presents I could have received.
Thank you very, very much.
You might say I just kind of fell into them.
[Odie panting excitedly]
What is it, Odie?
Okay, I'm coming.
Okay, what do you want?
Ta-da!
Okay, what is it?
[Panting excitedly]
[Sighing contentedly]
Let me try that.
Odie, sometimes you amaze me.
[Sentimental instrumental music]
This is the best present a cat could ever get.
Now and then, you're something special.
All right, you guys.
Just permit me one sentimental moment here, will you?
I have something to say.
Christmas. It's not the giving.
It's not the getting.
It's the loving.
There. I said it.
Now get out of here.
[Merry instrumental music]
Let's have a good old-fashioned Christmas down on the farm
A little overeating never did you any harm
Let's open up the presents, Eat a turkey or two
It's a good old-fashioned Christmas
down on the farm
Let's stoke up the fire to keep our tootsies warm
Let's kick off the rooftop And sing a song or two
Let's do this again next year