Tori Frederking is back.
Her parents sent her to Europe for the summer as a graduation gift...
...but she's back. Now I have 3 confirmed sitings of her in this mall.
Matt, I don't care about Tori Frederking. I care about her, aged to perfection.
- Daddy likie. - Barry, you gotta focus here, man.
I'm talking about "The Frederking".
You have to focus, okay.
That was in the 10th grade. You got Truth or Dared into a closet with the girl.
That was literally, seven minutes in heaven.
When we got out of that closet, she told everyone at the party that I was...
- an amazing kisser. - An amazing kisser. - an amazing kisser. - An amazing kisser.
- She did! - But, you didn't kiss her. - She did! - But, you didn't kiss her.
You spent seven minutes shitting your pants and not making a move.
I know, that's what makers her so fucking awesome.
When I got out of the closet, everyone started ragging on me for choking.
She lied and said I was an amazing kisser.
- Pretty stellar move, huh. - To the max.
Oh my god. I've been hearing this story since we shared our mothers uterus.
Oh, and by the way, did you have the balls to ask her out after that?
- I can't remember... - No, but only because I never had my "in".
- Don't do this! - Don't do this!
- Hey! - Hey! - Hey! - Hey!
- Come on. - Come on..
- How do you always know what I'm gonna say? - How do you always know what I'm gonna say?
- Fuck! - Fuck!
You guys are really freaking me out with the twins shit.
Watch and learn brother. I'm going in.
Eye of the tiger, buddy.
I tiger.
- Don't like how this looks. - No, no good.
So uh, so you like uh, music?
I hate it!
Swing and a miss.
Oh, not the book Barry.
No, no. Not the art of war. Oh God.
You ever read Sun Tzu's "Art of War"?
I have. It's amazing.
Give you my number.
I'll loan it to you. Get back to me, at a later date, of your choosing.
And we'll have, I don't know, a bottle of chilled white Zin.
I'm free on uh, Saturday.
Call me. Call me.
Shermer High Class of 84. Shermer High Class of 84.
THE FUTURE IS YOURS! THE FUTURE IS YOURS!
Take Me Home Tonight Take Me Home Tonight
Ronald Reagan: "Win one for the Gipper". Ronald Reagan: "Win one for the Gipper".
- Hey Tori. - Hey guys. - Hey Tori. - Hey guys.
Whew. This humpback whale just swims right by me, right.
I've never felt so scared in my life.
That's when it hit me.
This is what I want to do with my life. This is what I want others to do.
See. That's why the second I got back to LA... boom... opened Mint Travel.
Wait, you own it?
Yeah dude.
Went to the bank, got a loan. Pieces fell right into place.
So what about you, I thought you went to uh...
- MIT! - MIT!
I just graduated. But uh, I hated it.
Yeah it was all like, theory and machines... I was on this one way highway...
I was like...
You know... rest stop, please.
So this is a rest stop?
Oh yeah. This is totally temporary.
You know what you should do? You should travel.
See the world. Find your hump-back whale.
You come see me, ok?
Seriously, it's the slow season right now.
Everbody's at work or school. Perfect time for Matt to shine.
You take care man.
- Excuse me. - Oh, I'm sorry.
Hey, don't I know you?
Well I don't think so.
No, I do. I know you from somewhere.
- Oh, you went to Sherman, didn't you. - I did!
- That must be it. - Yeah, me too!
- Oh weird. - I actually think you were in my homeroom.
What?
Yeah, you were the really smart kid.
You won the attendance award... every year.
Yeah.
- It's me, Tori. - Matt Franklin.
I knew I knew you from somewhere... cool!
So... er... ah... what are you up too?
Well, uh...
I went to Duke and I graduated, with honors.
Yeah. And then I got awarded this internship at Drexel Burnham.
So, I moved back.
Oh, it's an investment bank.
- I know what it is. - Oh, I didn't mean to...
- No no, it's fine. I'm in the same business, so. - Really?
Yeah. Where do you work?
I'm at Goldman Sachs.
Oh that's funny. I didn't know they had an office in Los Angeles.
I know, that's weird.
A lot of people don't.
I'm in Japanese takeovers.
So, are you going to Kyle Masterson's party tonight?
Uh, I don't know...
Oh. You should totally go. It was pretty good last year.
Word is, someones gonna ride the "ball" tonight.
Where are they?
Weird.
Hellooo!
You know what. Just take it. Yup just take it.
There we go. I'll pay for it when this jackass gets back.
Great! Thank you.
So maybe I'll see you tonight... Terry?
- Tori. - Right... Tori... sorry.
- Barry Nathan. - Dude, you will not believe who was just in here, Tori Frederking.
Bottom line it for me.
I think she was flirting with me. I honestly got that vibe.
That's highly unlikely. Can you do better for me boss?
She said I should totally go to Kyle Masterson's party tonight.
This is it. I finally have my "in".
- Ah, I see. - We're going to that party!
I'm finally getting her phone number.
- Yeah. That's all you got for me? - Oh yeah, what do you know about investment banking?
Nothing.
- Currencies? - Nothing?
That's not acceptable!
You've got to bend a bit more here boss. This guy just had another baby.
Oh, you're trying to close a sale. Vagina, vagina, vagina...
Good luck. We'll pick you up at 5:00.
Fine. No I will! I'll take it out of my own god damn salary!
No, thank you! It's a pleasure. Such a fucking pleasure.
I'm sorry that you had to witness that.
Steven. That bastards not gonna budge. But um, off the top of my head, this is what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna knock 3 grand off.
Your boss is standing right behind you.
And I'm not buying your bullshit... Barry! Or a sedan.
Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.
You know what?! I gave up college for you bastards.
Oh shit.
Start the engine.
Fuck you!
So um, dad. Somebody's gonna ride the "ball" tonight.
Darling, nobody rode that thing when I was a kid. And nobody's gonna ride it tonight.
How's your dad doing, Barry?
Well, his parole got pushed back about six months, so he's pretty upset about that.
I still don't understand why they let you go.
7 years of my life, Libby. They stole my youth.
Look at it this way, Barry. At least you went for it.
You realized a goal. You rolled up your sleeves and you applied yourself.
Well I see the traditional evenings torture is in full swing.
Matthew, we had a deal.
You said just give me the summer to figure things out. Well guess what. The summers over!
I want to hear your plan.
Dad, I guess my plan is to keep working at Suncoast until I figure out what I really want to do with my life.
Why don't you just get an engineering job until you figure it out?
Honey, we just think you have such potential. You could be anything. You could be an astronaut.
Oh, problem solved. I'll just be an astronaut.
Matthew, I didn't give a quarter of my savings to MIT so you could work at the mall.
I'll see you all in the morning. I gotta go to work.
Matt! Matt!
- Are you OK? - I applied to Cambridge for my masters.
- Holy shit! You finally did it. - I don't wanna open it.
- Why not? - Because I'm scared, dip shit.
- Oh... want me to open it? - No! Matt, no! Knock it off!
No I think you do.
- Wendy, you're going to England. - I don't know. I don't even know if I'd go.
Why?
I don't know if Kyle would come or not. We took possession of the condo on Tuesday...
I mean look, he'll visit. He needs to experience a new language. Open it!
I just applied to see if I could get in.
Okay, Wendy, you know that I hate giving you compliments, right?
I've read your short stories. They're amazing.
I know.
Open it, open it, open it.
Fuckin open it!
- No! - Ok!
No I'm not going to. No, not now.
No, I just want to have fun tonight.
Matt? Don't tell anyone, promise!
You can trust me. I'm a Goldman Sachs man.
Good luck with that...
Ok, here we go. Nelson Mandela, Purple Rain, windsurfing.
- Windsurfing? - Windsurfing?
What am I doing?
I'll never get this girl.
I don't wanna hear that talk tonight. Ok? How long do I know you?
- Since 5th grade. - Since 5th grade, right?
You're whippin it real good now. Look at you. You're the smartest guy I know.
The acne is all cleared up.
Hey, you've had sex now.
- Yeah. - Yeah!
I'm gonna be with you, every step of the way. You're gonna do this, Matt!
And you're gonna do it well.
You're gonna get this broads number.
Hey great work today guy, alright. Thank you very much. Good job today.
Appreciate it. Bien. Mucho!
- Hey Kyle. - Hey.
Get these lights on. Let's see what this looks like.
Hey watch. I'm gonna school this bitch, man.
Guys. Get a beer. You're off the clock. Hang out. Good job today.
Stellar! That's exactly what I'm talking about. We having a party here or what.
Play that fuckin music, white boy.
Oh, if I didn't have a cast on, I'd school you little bitches.
- Oh shit! I can't show up in this car. - Why not?
Uh, the Frederking does not roll in a kumquat.
That's my ?? bottle from MIT. Come on, I was saving that for something special.
It's kinda special that I've never drunk this much, this fast before.
Hey, listen. You will get through this.
I got fired today, ok? Fired.
I didn't go to screw all day and drink all night college, like you twin bastards did.
Tonight I'm catching up.
- Take a right at these lights up here. - Why?
Take a right! I'm sorry.
I'm having no part of this.
Yeah Barry, I'm a little fuzzy on how we're gonna get away with this.
I have a set of keys. I know all the alarm codes. It's almost perfectly legitimate.
Almost.
- You just honk the horn if anything shows up. - Roger that.
Listen Barry. We really don't want to spend tonight in the LA county jail...
Giving some white supremacist a crying blow job.
That's not gonna happen, Matt. There's no way you'd cry.
Look!
Mike the prick bastard sales manager keeps the keys to the 560SL in his prick bastard desk.
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
I don't know ??
We're gonna bring it back later, nobody's gonna know the difference, okay.
I don't know. What if someone sees us? I think there might be security cameras.
Matt, stop thinking. Ok, we'll just do it.
- Shut off the alarm. - No problem.
Fuck! Fuck!
They changed the alarm codes, man. Those bastards didn't trust me.
I wonder why.
Oh my god. Holy fuck! This is great!
- You pussy! Get back in the game! - C'mon.
What the hell is he doing?
Test drive?
- Holy shit! - Stole a car! We stole a car!
Unbelievable.
I've never driven the 560SL before, Matt.
They never let me.
- Man... maybe you should take it back. - No.
You need this car tonight, Matt. You need this car tonight.
Doreen! What's up?
Tell 'em Where You from.
Straight Outta Compton Another crazy-ass Nigga. Straight Outta Compton Another crazy-ass Nigga.
Punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets Bigger I'm a bad mutha fucka and you know this. Punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets Bigger I'm a bad mutha fucka and you know this.
But the pussy ass niggas won't show this. But I don't give a fuck, I'm a make my snaps. But the pussy ass niggas won't show this. But I don't give a fuck, I'm a make my snaps.
If not from the records in the jack and the craps Like burglary, the definition is jackin . If not from the records in the jack and the craps Like burglary, the definition is jackin .
But when I'm legally armed, it's called packin. Crazy mutha fucka from the street. But when I'm legally armed, it's called packin. Crazy mutha fucka from the street.
Oh my god...
Think your prick bastard boss keeps a comb in here?
Holy...
Are you stupid?
- What is that finger thing? - I don't know.
- Tastes like aspirin. - My tongue is numb.
Holy shit, Barry. That was awesome.
My god!
- Sunshine! - Hammer pants!
- Hey, how's it going ?? - Did you two manage to fuck each other yet?
- What? - What?
Oh shit, Matt. Matt Franklin. And uh, your buddy your always hanging out with.
What's up. You never makes these things, man.
So that's the "ball".
In person, live, via satellite.
- You know it's not via anything, right? - Yeah, I get the point.
- I don't think he knows what "via" means. - Yeah fuck you.
Wendy get up here. C'mon baby. Get your hot ass up here and give me a kiss.
Be careful.
Oh, sorry.
Ok Matt. Share with everybody.
- Nothing. - Go ahead. What? What were you saying?
This looks suicidal, man.
C'mon. You just don't like it cause the ball represents "balls" ...
...which you don't have.
Kyle. Kyle.
- Oh, is this one of those "metaphors"? - Matt!
Wendy, no. I got this one. Yeah, yeah, it's a metaphor.
- So the "ball" is... - Balls!
Good one.
- This is... - That is a metaphor. I totally got him.
Oh my God. Exclamation point! Matt Franklin.
Do not go anywhere.
Nice shades, asshole!
- No sign of the Frederking. - Yup.
Man I feel like I'm in 10th grade again. I'm gonna put these on ice.
Hey Franklin. Hey Franklin.
- Down here Hans Solo. - Ah, fuck!
- Carlos, what happened to you? - 67 times 365?
- You're in a wheelchair. - Answer!
- Uh... 24455. What's up? - I've been really lazy. Just kidding.
I got hit by a drunk driver right after graduation, but...
"Don't cry for me Argentina" It's not so bad, I get better parking, tons of pussy.
I mean I have stronger opinions about hills now but, whatever.
So what have you doing, building jet packs?
- Uh, no, I work at Goldman Sachs. - No you don't! No way you work there!
No I do. I work in Asian takeovers.
That's funny, cause you know where I work? Goldman fucking Sachs.
- You don't work there! - You work at Goldman Sachs?
You bet your legs I do. Think I'm gonna let this shit hold me back?
You don't need to walk to speculate currencies. I said "You don't need to walk to speculate currencies"!
I'm doing what I want. I'm following my dream.
- Eat it. - I thought you wanted to play baseball!
- Fuck you, Franklin! - Ah, look. Do you know Tori Frederking?
- Yeah, I know her. - Well if you see her, could you show her this...
... and tell her I work at Goldman Sachs.
Wow, that's pathetic dude.
Probably not gonna work either. We don't have an LA office.
Everybody knows that, who has half a sack. Spelled with a "k".
- Well just don't rat me out. - Yeah I'll think about it.
If I'm not gettin laid. When I'm gettin laid I don't think about much else.
Anyway, kinda gettin bummed out talking to you. What do you do, anyway?
- I thought you went to MIT. - I work at Suncoast video.
Wow... Congratulations? Mom and dad must be psyched.
I'm gonna get outta here. Check this out, "moon walk".
Will you guys move. I'm trying to fucking party here.
And it's Kyles crazy grandma, standing there. And she says, listen to this...
I can't tell if your fucking or drowning. But neither one is letting me get any sleep.
So embarrassing.
So, uh, the next day, my dad pulls me aside...
...and he offers to help with the down payment on a condo.
Yeah, so I guess we screwed ourselves into the market.
"Literally".
Yeah, anyway so we're moving in on Tuesday, and... but it's great cause there's a hot tub...
Hi. I can't handle this right now. I want to do some of the coke.
What do you mean you can't handle this?
- I want to do the coke! - No, what can't you handle?
- Not doing the coke! - Ok, Barry, we're not cocaine people.
A, My dad's a cop. B, I'm defining my gray area...
...which I'm pretty sure doesn't include hard narcotics.
- Give me the bag. - No.
Give me the bag or you don't get the car keys.
Okay, just take it easy "Scarf ace."
This one here is an alarm...
- Tori Frederking? - Rick Herrington. Oh my god.
- How are you? - I'm good... wow... oh.
Hey, how are you?
What's up man? Good to see you.
Dude and I we're just packing up. Moving in together next week.
- We got a condo. - Yeah, baby tell them the story.
We're here 4th of July. My family always has the big party here, and the house is packed...
...with relatives and so there's no place for us too...
- I know. - You know?
So we come down to the pool, where it's always kinda quiet, right.
- You know, getting into it, water splashing... - So embarrassing.
A flotation ring hits me in the head. And I'm like mid pump, its like... what?
And I look and it's my crazy grandmother and she says to me...
...I can't tell if you're fucking or drowning, but neither one is letting us get any sleep.
Next day, dad pulls us aside and offers to help with a down payment on the condo.
Yeah so I guess we screwed ourselves into the market.
That's good.
Hey, um, Matt you remember Tori.
Whoa, yes... weird.
- How's it going? Mark? - Oh, heh heh...
Very funny.
It's Matt.
Is my name.
So, high school again, huh? Freaky Deeky.
How's that?
Wow, this breeze is great. It's like, wind surfing weather, you know.
I tell you, I'd love to be out on my board tonight.
- You're into wind surfing? - Hell yeah!
- Big time, you? - No, I'm not!
- Really? - No!
Yeah, no, well... cause wind?! Fuck that!
Um, I should probably go check to make sure we're not running out of soda, inside.
- So I'll see you guys later. - Good seeing you.
See ya.
- You know it's funny... - Hey, you ever find yourself in Paris?
- Uh, yeah... - Yeah?
There's a lovely bistro right around the corner from the Sorbonne, called the...
It's chevre chaud is impeccable.
We are doing cocaine. Ok.
Looks so easy in the movies.
Let's do this. You're gonna do this, ok. You're gonna feel unbelievable.
Nostrils ready. We're doing this. Ok.
Nice!
Great.
I get stuck with a bag of shit.
Blammo!
Hey, you're hot!
I'm growling at you! Did you hear me. I was growling at you like a lion.
A lion in the jungle.
I'm Barry.
Confirmation, yeah you're hot!
- What? - Hello.
Show them the ??
You are tall. But I can still hear you.
Whoa, you're gonna hurt somebody man. You're gonna take someones eye out.
- That guy is my boyfriend. - Hope he screws better than he dances.
Oh shit he's about to do the splits. I can see it in his eyes. There he goes.
He's got no testes left. He's got no testes left.
Who's got a watermelon?
Yo, go find your own date.
I got my own date. I think that you used to know her.
What's up? Want to dance? Let's see what you got, boy!
Take a good look around you. Everything changes, but "nothing" changes.
Yeah, I hear you brother.
So I been getting into this whole wine thing lately. Tasting it and talking about it.
We should go down to my dads boat and uh, do a little sampling.
Oh hey... there you are.
Matt, hello? When are you gonna show me that thing?
Right, the uh, waterfall. On the other side of the patio.
- I was gonna show you that. - I love waterfalls. I'll just be back in a bit.
- How do you like that? - That was awesome. So good. I got goose bumps.
So...
This waterfall's... you know...
There's no waterfalls.
I know.
- Have you seen Niagara? - No I haven't. Have you?
No.
Hey Tori, uh... Hey Tori, uh...
- Have you... - Hey! Everybody.
Barry Nathan and Tyler Jones are having a dance off.
But I am, my ridiculously dressed friend. I am in downtown tokyo, I am the samurai dance master...
... and I'm gonna dance your dummy playing ass into the ground.
Yo, DJ... hit it!
Wow, that's amazing.
That's all you got?
You had enough? You had enough?
Fuckin a, Barry.
I got you bitch.
- C'mon. Chill out, alright? - Cool, cool, cool.
- C'mon you guys. We are adults. - Fine, fine, fine. It's over.
Don't do it again, white boy. Here.
God damn it, Barry.
- Are you OK? Oh my god she's choking. - Somebody help her.
I got her. I got you. Breathe... breathe...
Get off her.
- You're gonna pull through. C'mon! Breathe! - What are you doing?
- I'm giving you the Heimlich. - I wasn't choking. She was.
I'm such a jackass. I'm sorry.
I suck at this. I'm... I'm... What am I doing? I'm sorry!
You're awesome. I'm trying so hard, and I... it's...
Here's the thing. You were my high school crush, by the way.
And I just physically assaulted you in front of a bunch of people.
I just hit rock bottom. So... don't mind me.
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
I don't see how it could get any worse. Nope! Got it!
I could ask you to dance and, chuck my drink in your face...
And twirl you into the fucking wall. I'll do it.
I'm sorry... I was...
Oh I love this song!
I love this song.
- Do you wanna... do you wanna dance? - Sure!
Are you insured?
I will dance with you if you promise, no twirling.
Right, I promise. I'll go slow.
- I was wondering, uh... if I could get your phone... - What?
I was wondering if I could... I could, uh...
I could always tell in high school, um, that you were gonna land on your feet.
Ladies and gentlemen, if I could get your attention please.
First of all I want to say thank you to everybody for chillin with me...
...on my very last labor day party.
You know nothings changed it seems like since we graduated.
Trevor, talking to you. What's up with that fucking ear ring, dude?
We are changing, and we're moving on.
We're going our separate ways. And some of us are going our separate ways... together.
You all know Wendy.
- Wendy Franklin here. Honey get on up here. - What are you doing?
What is he doing?
I think that she is... one hell of a chick.
Because she turned a lump of coal like me into a diamond.
From all the pressure she put me under. Oh!
Oh, wait. There's something I got here.
- Oh my god! - Oh my god!
Wendy, will you marry me?
- No! - Hell yeah!
Yes, yes I will.
Oh man, come on!
- Hey. - Hey! - Hey. - Hey!
Look, I know everyone's making fun of you.
But I just want to say I really loved what you did out there tonight.
- Who's making fun of me? - Your dance was cool. It was like anti-dancing.
It was like a big screw you to all them conformist assholes.
I'm glad you liked it.
You didn't give a shit about any of their shit, you know.
Did you want to get naked?
Wow, that was fast. For me I get naked all the time.
Come find me later.
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
- I don't wanna say this, but I really feel... - Then don't!
Don't marry him.
- Oh, christ. - The two of you...
It's like you don't fit. I don't think he can make you happy.
Well I already am happy, so your wrong so leave me alone.
Then why don't you open that envelope from Cambridge?
- Because I hate rejection. - Come on. You know you got in!
And you now he doesn't want you to go. He's already holding you back.
Kyle would support any decision that I wanted to make as long as I was happy.
Ok then, why didn't you tell him you applied?
I mean he's gonna be your husband, right? Aren't you supposed to be honest with him?
Oh you're lecturing me about honesty, Mister "Goldman Sachs"?
The only reason you're saying all this stuff is because you're jealous.
- You're jealous that I have a life and you don't! - You're not gonna have a life.
You're just supporting Kyle's life.
That's why you said yes, right? So it would all be wrapped up in a little bow.
Wendy, marriage is a big life decision.
Oh, big life decisions? At least I'm making some asshole.
You're so scared, you can't choose anything.
Not a girl, not a job... anything. And you're just gonna sit there in your little...
...smarty pants fantasy bubble, dreaming about...
Tori Frederking when you know that she's unobtainable.
That's not true.
You can't get her and you know it. So there's really no risk at all, is there?
It's bullshit, Matt and you know it!
I was wrong. You're gonna look great in an apron.
So you know how I've always been into fashion.
Well I am in a van to New York.
- Doesn't that so blow your mind? - Totally.
Let's go to the Drexel party. Why are we still hanging out with the Sachs?
Some of us weren't offered full time positions. I have some serious networking to do.
This is so totally not me, ok. I totally think we can work something out.
Just for tonight.
- Shelly! - Yeah?
I gotta go.
I totally don't know what I'm talking about.
Is that your car?
This is the so cherry.
- You make enough money for a car like this? - Well, yeah...
- Nobody stopped me when I drove it off the lot. - Matt! Matt! Matt!
This is Barry... the dancer.
So are you guys going to that party in Beverly Hills?
Uh, yeah, we're thinking about it. You?
- Well yeah! - Where is that party again?
Well you know what. I know the way so I should just, ride with you.
- What? - Oh my god, you slut.
- Oh my god, you slut. - Look, you gotta ride with her friends.
- Really? Ok. - Are you smoking now?
When it rains it pours. Am I right, brother?
Come on, punch it up. Punch. And squeeze real tight. And then the finger comes up. Bam!
- And then you go like this. - Hey, get off me.
- Hey, I guess I'm riding with you guys. - Uh, I don't know.
I have cocaine on me.
- Can I ride in the back with you Barry? - Yeah.
Well this will be fun. It will be all bankers at this party, so we will know a ton of people.
Oh, great.
- It's a great night for this, huh? - Yeah.
So this party is at my boss, Pete Bering's house.
Unfortunately he's a bit of a perve.
Swear to god the only reason I got offered a full time position at Drexel...
... is cause he wants to see my boobs.
- Really? - Uh huh.
- What about your friends boobs? - Well, he's already seen them.
- Really? Wow! - Uh, huh.
You see that's the problem. Boob power recedes once revealed.
He hasn't and won't see mine, so I retain the boob power.
Eye contact, Matt.
You know we always know when you guys look.
- Not always. - No, we do, it's true!
- Go ahead, give it a shot. I'll look away. - Okay.
- Now. - Wow! That, whoa!
- That was good. - Pretty good?
- Now. - Wow, that's crazy.
I don't know. I think maybe you're just getting lucky.
- Oh really? Try it again, big shot. - Okay.
- Now. - Wow, that is a gift!
That's unbelievable. Best of seven?
Holy shit, did you see that car?
How are you guys?
- It'll cause the stock to rally. - But I'm worried about them sustaining these margins.
- The rumors about this Russian oil field. - It's going to happen because it's got momentum.
But you can't put momentum on a balance sheet. I mean, their numbers are embarrassing.
That's irrelevant. We'll float some junk and then they can buy a company with a balance sheet...
...that's not absolute shit.
Walter, your not drinking. I warned you about that. Excuse me.
- Hello Tori. - Hey Mr. Bering.
Hey, it's Pete. Please. I was really hoping you'd come. Walk with me. Excuse me.
- I think Beth's here. - Didn't notice.
Listen Tori. I was hoping to get your opinion on the actualities of that Baltic Sterling nonsense.
Would you mind coming upstairs. Take a look at that report. Decode it for me.
It's Pete, right? Pete Bering. Matt Franklin. Good to see you again.
- I'm sorry, have we met? - Have we met?
- Matt's over at Goldman Sachs. - Guilty, as charged.
So, Matt. Who do you work under over there?
Oh, well... I'm not at liberty to say.
- Why not? - We pride ourselves on being a discreet firm.
Our policy is don't discuss business.
Really. Matt doesn't seem like a Goldman Sachs man to me, Tori.
Most of those blowhards can't shut up about work.
Seriously, Matt, tell me the department, let me do the math.
I know a lot of people over there.
- What department? - Yeah Matt. What...do...you...do?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Do you guys know Yen? I mean...
Say a Yen gets uh transferred from Mr. Nariyada's bank, in Tokyo...
...on a Monday and it lands in Rome.
So what's .467 * 32? 149.5 Lira, right?
Wam, Mr. Roma takes that, flips it over to Mr. Queen Elizabeth...
...so what's 149.5 divided by 22.3? Six pounds, British Sterling and 78 pence, right?
Wam! He takes it, flips it over to Mr. USA today before opening bell...
So what's 6.78 divided by 1.68? It's 3.99 big bad dream bags.
And guess who Mr. Yankee Doodle Dandy wires it to over the international date line...
Mr. Nariyada. How much is that Yen worth now?
1.012! 1.2 percent more in one day. 1.2 percent times 365 days...
... and I'll do the math. That's a lot of fuckin blow fish.
So that's what I do, Pete.
Currencies, Franklin?
- Yeah Carlos. - You two in the same division?
Franklin? Matt? Franklin? Matt?
I'm just fucking with you. Matt's a star man. It's like having rain man on the floor.
Except you can touch him and shit.
In fact, he just got promoted.
That's right. I didn't want to say anything. Guy above me got fired.
Some girl asked him for a raise and he asked for a hand job.
I guess he's the one that got the raise, huh.
Sounds like my kind of guy.
- She took him for about 8 Mil. - Oh.
Supreme Court takes sexual harassment very, very seriously these days.
It's about time, huh?
Yes, yes, it is about time.
Well. Great meeting you, Matt. I have to go make the rounds.
You guys have fun.
Holy shit, that was amazing.
Stay cool. Sexy redhead.
Trish Anderson. Barry Nathan. - Trish Anderson. - Barry Nathan.
- Is it snowing? - I think it's like 65 degrees outside.
- No I mean are you holding? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You want to have fun little? - Yes I do!
- Come with me. - Really? Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oops, I did yours.
- Jesus christ, man. - Oh, it's my friend Frances. It's ok though. Isn't it?
Ok, come on in man.
You want any, future man?
Come a little closer, Barry Nathan.
Beverly Hills.
Hey Frances, um... do me a favor. Just take yours to go. Ok pal? Just go!
- Get the hell outta here. - He doesn't want any of that.
He doesn't?
- What the hell does Frances want? - He wants to watch.
- I don't... - He won't bother us. Just let him watch.
- Ok, um... who is this Frances person? - It's non-negotiable!
I'm going to try this.
What do you think this house cost him?
- Drug habit. Kids in therapy. - ?? the view.
But you like it, right?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Drexel's great. It's a real opportunity for me.
I'll get stock options, great benefits. You know it's really a wonderful...
What?
I hate it!
I hate my job!
Wow, I've never said that out loud before. But I do, I hate it. I do!
I hate all of this.
- Really? - Hate it!
- Gotcha. - Crazy right?
I just keep thinking, do I really want to do this?
- Is this what I want to do with my life? - Is it?
I do not know, that's the thing. I'm so confused and I really, really don't know.
I'm sorry this must sound ridiculous to you. You're obviously very smart at your job.
No, no, Tori. Whoa!
Are you kidding me? I got this thing that I know I'm good at.
And everyone in my life...
...expects me to turn it into a career.
I can't stand it.
- I know. I feel the exact same way every day. - And then there's no turning back!
- It's gonna be like uh, family and mortgage. - I know!
- There's no way to quit. - Yes!
- It's a trap! - It's a trap!
God, that sounds so messed up.
Have you ever played the penis game?
I'm not prepared to reveal that information, thank you.
No, it's a real game. I say the word "penis" like really quiet...
And then you say it just a little bit louder. Then I say it a little bit louder than that...
And the first to stop saying it, loses.
Are you ready? Is easy. Penis
I don't know...
Tori trust me. There is nothing more fun than a job you don't give a shit about losing.
Penis. Penis.
- Penis. - Penis. - Penis. - Penis.
- Penis! - Penis! - Penis! - Penis!
- Penis!! - Penis!! - Penis!! - Penis!!
- PENIS!!! - PENIS!!! - PENIS!!! - PENIS!!!
Let's call it a tie.
- Chris, christ, you're out of control, lady. - Yeah, fuck you too!
- What? Sorry. - Don't apologize to me.
What do you think I am, a child?
- Fuck you then. - Yeah, that's better.
I'm gonna swallow you whole... son.
If you don't mind, that would be fantastic.
I mean, um... suck my dick... bitch?
Yeah. That's it!
I'm gonna hit it with you, Barry Nathan.
Wait a minute!
- Hey, what the hell is he doing? - Oh he's getting a better angle.
- Ok, he can't come near me! - How close?
- I don't want him touching me at all. - ??
- Let me outta here! - What, you don't like this?
Shit no!
- You crazy bitch. - Yeah c'mon. Shout at me Barry!
I'll kill you!
People... freaky shit! I didn't go to college, ok!
You people crossed the line here today! This is entrapment! No thank you!
God it's like, who lives in this neighborhood, right?
Actually, hang on a sec.
How do you feel about a little yard hopping?
- I don't know. - C'mon, let's get out of here.
- Oh my god! - Shah.
I don't think anyone's home.
Really?
Welcome to your new house.
How are you like this? No one else I work with is this much fun.
I can't believe you're a banker.
Me neither...
- Oh shit. - What?
Oh yeah.
- No. - Yeah.
- We're doing this. - I am not getting on that thing.
That was really smooth.
- Come on. - No, I'm not.
- I know you want to. - I'll watch safely from down here.
Tori tonight we're not thinking. We're doing.
This is just coming back to me. Do you remember when we played Truth or Dare?
I think you and I got dared into 7 minutes in heaven.
No doesn't ring a bell.
- But maybe if we play it again... - You want to play "Truth or Dare"?
- Truth or Dare? - Ok. Wow, uh, truth.
If I was your high school crush, how come you never asked me out?
- You know... I never had my "in". - Your "in"?
Yeah... you know, the right moment. You know the perfect confluence of events.
No.
I've been telling myself that since high school. And it's bullshit.
I had plenty of opportunities to ask you out.
I was afraid.
Truth.
If I had asked you out in high school, would you have said yes?
That's not fair. If I had known then what I know now...
Tori... come on.
No. I probably wouldn't have said yes.
Why do you look so relieved?
Because I am! My biggest regret is not having the balls to ask you out in high school.
And now I know it wouldn't have made a difference.
Besides which, if I had and you rejected me, I would have despised you...
... and I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now, having...
...having the best night of my entire life.
Dare!
Come over here and bring your lips as close to mine as possible, without touching.
Truth. Are you messing with me right now?
Dare. Come and find out!
Come on...
- Is that good? - No. Not good. Come closer.
What's that sound?
I think that's my heart... beating like really fast.
Dare me to make it go faster.
I double dare you.
Oh, yeah hey look, no you know what. No pressure, ok?
Tonight no thinking, just doing.
- Now. - Now.
- What's going on, Wendy? - Please just sit for a second, I just wanna talk.
Well, this is a big step. But I think it's the right thing.
Hell yes!
It doesn't exactly take a rocket surgeon to figure that out.
Kyle, I have to tell you something.
- Please tell me you missed your period. - No, no.
- I applied to grad school. - Oh.
Wow, grad school. Wow... where?
- Cambridge. - Is that in the valley?
England...
You want to go to England?
Well, I don't know, I just thought we could talk about it.
- What about the condo? - Well, we could always rent it out.
We've got six franchises opening in Encino alone next year.
Honey my dad is gonna be fucking pissed.
Oh, god damn it. I thought this was gonna be a special night.
- It is! - Guess I was wrong.
- No it is. - No your kinda questioning the whole thing.
What you just want to call the whole thing off, is that it?
- I don't even know if I got in yet, Kyle. - Oh!
I've been too scared to open it, so why don't you do it for me!
Sure. Oh really?
"Dear Ms. Franklin, thank your for your interest in Cambridge University.
We regret to inf... "
"We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted into our graduate program"
God damn it!
Hey, wait, c'mon. Let's not let some fancy pants school in England ruin our night.
Honey, you can still do your writing thing and now you get to do it right here, next to me, ok.
What can I do to make you feel better?
How about some bathroom sex. Will that do it?
How many times have you done that?
You know... 3...
...and a half... times.
Oh god.
See that is what I really like about you, Matt.
You're honest.
Tori, there's something that I gotta tell you.
You have a girlfriend right?
No, it's um...
It's kinda the opposite...
- You have a boyfriend? - No.
Remember when I bumped into you this morning at the video store?
Actually I don't work at Goldman Sachs. I work at that video store.
- What? - Seriously, I work at Suncoast Video.
Shut up...
No, seriously, I work at Suncoast Video.
- You lied to me? - No, I mean I know it was stupid.
But I only did it because I thought if you knew that my life was such a dead end...
- I wouldn't sleep with you. - No.
Oh my god. I am so stupid.
I actually thought that maybe you wanted to get to know me.
I do!
You know what. Congratulations Matt, you slept with your high school crush.
Mission accomplished!
No, Tori.
Tori! Tori!
Ah... Fuck!
Where the hell have you been man?
- You will not believe what the hell just happened. - Barry, I gotta get out of here.
Big ditto on that. These people are ??
Come on.
Shit. Shit.
Barry, Barry. Barry, Barry.
- Yeah. - I slept with Tori Frederking.
Are you shitting me?
Los Angeles, Matt Franklin had sex with Tori Frederking, tonight.
What a night!
Then I told her I worked at Suncoast.
And then you told her what?
I told her I work at Suncoast.
- Why are you like this? - It wasn't fair. I had to be honest with her.
What are you, stupid?
How do you fuck this up, man? Why can't you give yourself one night of enjoyment?
Put a little relish on your hotdog.
Here...
- I want you to do this. - No.
- Matthew... - I don't do drugs.
- You don't do anything. - I just had sex with Tori Frederking.
Yeah, well, I guess that's not gonna work out for you now, is it?
You fucked it up!
Sorry pal.
- Alright, take the wheel. - Yeah, that's what I'm talkin about.
- You got it? - Barry!
- Yeah. - Holy shit! - Yeah. - Holy shit!
Holy shit! Holy shit!
We only lost a little bit.
We start splashing around and fooling around and the next thing you know, this flotation ring...
...hits me in the head.
- And I look up and... - It's his grandma.
Yeah. My crazy grandmother.
And she says to me "I can't tell if you're fucking or drowning..."
...but neither one is letting me get any sleep.
- Could be worse. - No it couldn't, Barry.
It couldn't be any worse.
Put your hands in the air.
I was wrong. Now it couldn't be any worse.
- Matthew? - Wow, wrong again.
Oh my god, oh my god.
Calling for a backup request, over.
Are you two okay?
- Yeah. - Yeah dad.
- What's that all over your face, Barry? - Cocaine.
Dad, we're fine. Thank god you're on duty tonight.
Yeah.
Let's get outta the car.
Take it easy. Alright.
- Get down on the ground! - What?
- Get down on the god damn ground! - Oh my god.
Oh no!
Why'd you steal a car? Why'd you steal it?
He had nothing to do with it, it was all me. He was there, yeah...
...but he chickened out at the end. He went back to the car.
- You did nothing!? - I drove the stolen car, that's it.
I stole the car. And then the cocaine was in the car.
- You didn't buy the coke? - No, no, no.
- And you didn't have any? - No I swear to god, dad.
Please Mr. Franklin. Don't send me to jail.
Yeah this car is in pretty rough shape. What's the sticker price on this, Barry?
Fifty three thousand.
Fifty eight thousand with the full chrome and leather package.
Yeah, after you serve your jail time, I figure you'll be on probation...
...working this off for at least one to two years.
Dad, the car's not that damaged.
- Holy shit! - Maybe three!
- Four years. - Jesus christ, dad.
Maybe five.
Depending on what kind of job you get.
Of course with your education, you should be able to earn a decent salary.
- I swear to God I'll get an engineering job, dad! - But you don't want an engineering job, Matthew.
- I'll do whatever you want me to do. - But what do you want?
I don't know.
No, Dad I'm sorry. I'm just messed up, ok?
I don't know what I wanna do and I'm sorry I'm such a fucking failure!
You haven't really failed, son. Because you haven't really tried to succeed.
So don't credit yourself as a failure.
You're worse than that!
I just can't figure it out, dad.
Don't cry like that in jail, son.
I don't wanna go.
You boys will spend at least 7 days in LA county jail before they arraign you.
- You'll be there with child molesters. - Please don't.
But don't worry. We'll make sure the guards know you're a cops kid.
Hey Bill, I can't keep this up. Look at Matt's face.
He's about ??
- Ok boys. This is your one and only Mulligan. - What?
- You're free to go. - Oh my god, thank you.
- You guys don't have to turn us in? - Relax, Matt. We're LAPD.
But don't do it again, Barry! I mean it. No more coke!
Oh are you kidding me! Never, never. Are you crazy!
- This was like the craziest night. - Wipe that coke off your face.
I can't...someone... Mr. Johnson!?
Thank you Mr. Franklin.
Matt, take a shot at something.
Don't think about it too much. Just take the shot.
I don't even know where to aim.
Anywhere...everywhere...just take wild shots.
Hell, it's something just to hear the gun go off.
Thanks, dad.
That was very scary!
My brain feels like snot.
I think she might have left the car back at Kyles.
Matt come on.
Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball!
Anybody who thinks Broder will actually ride the ball, place your bets with Bryce...
...anybody who thinks he won't go through with it, cause he's a total pussy...
...place your bets with Benji.
And it's going to be...choice!
- They're gonna run the world. - How do you know she's still here?
Asshole.
She's here.
- Do I get a helmet? - Yeah, it's down there, by the tampons.
Fucking slam it! Fucking slam it!
?? ??
- Hey. - Hey. - Hey. - Hey.
Matt... please, don't be mad.
Wow, Shelly. This really hurts.
No I'm not riding it man. I'm not riding it.
I got fired today.
I think I'm gonna ride the ball.
- Tori! - I'm not interested in anymore of your bullshit..
Look, listen to me. I only lied about one detail about myself.
And that's my job. Everything else was real... tonight was... real...
And it was amazing.
But you never would have talked to me for more than 2 minutes, admit it...
...if you knew I worked for Suncoast Video.
You lied to me all night so I would have sex with you.
So you only had sex with me because you thought I was a banker?
No, I went to a party with you because I thought you were a banker.
But I had sex with you because I thought that you were smart and funny and honest.
I thought you were different from everybody else. But you're not.
You're just like all these other scared little boys.
All right, hey. Who's it gonna be? Who's steppin up to the plate tonight.
Who wants a shot at the title?
I'll do it!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a contestant. The Mattinator. Franklin!
What are you doing?
I don't know.
Clear the way. Clear the way.
No, Matt. Please don't do this, ok! You don't have to prove anything to these people.
Whoever thinks Matt's not gonna do it, place your bets with Benji.
- And anybody... - Don't.
Listen to me. You don't wanna do this, man. Let me do it for you.
You have a great life ahead of you. I got nothing. Matt, don't do this!
God damn it!
Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for Mr Goldman Sachs.
Shut the fuck up and drive!
- Deal! - Matt don't do this!
Why are you doing this?
Please don't do this, Matt. Oh my god.
I'm Matt Franklin. I work at Suncoast Video at the mall...
...and I still live with my parents!
You suck!
I don't know what I'm doing up here. I'm scared. And you know what...
I have been so afraid of my life, that I have missed my life.
But I'm like all of you. We're all scared!
I mean c'mon. Admit it.
We're all trying to be something that we're not.
But tonight, all of that changes.
Tonight, I'm not afraid. Tonight, I got one thing to say to all that bullshit!
Fuck it.
Kyle... Kyle... I'm begging you.
Please don't let him do this.
No, honey. It's actually really safe.
Relax. He's gonna roll down this hill right, you see the bend...
...it actually goes up hill, right. You know how gravity works, right?
He's just gonna stop. It's gonna be gentle.
And, it's gonna be choice!
Look! Look! I'm telling you, that's my brother and I love him...
...and I don't want you to do this!
Oh... did I say it was going to be choice? I did, so cool out!
Yeah, let's make some noise for Matt Franklin!
On three!
3! Three!
Oh shit! Oh Shit! Oh shit! Oh Shit!
Shit! Shit!
Matt! Matt!
Ah my god. A my god.
Holy christ. Holy christ.
Oh shit! Oh shit!
Fuck! Fuck!
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!
Shit. Help! Shit. Help!
Fuck! Fuck!
- Give me your truck! - Honey, the road is not supposed to do that.
- Give me your fucking keys! - Relax.
- Don't fucking touch me. - I did not know the road bends like that.
I'll drive.
Matt! Matt!
No, no no. No, no no.
Are you ok? You ok?
Holy Shit! Holy Shit!
- You were the ?? - I rode the fucking ball!
- Oh hello. - Thank god. - Oh hello. - Thank god.
Matt! Matt!
Take him. Take him.
Matt, don't ever do that again, you hear me!?
That's not a problem.
Can I have your phone number?
I just want to take you out to dinner. Or like a movie.
Just hang out with you.
Matt you were a loser in high school.
Now you're just a loser who rode the ball and fucked me!
Are you happy?
No.
I'm so sorry I lied to you.
I'm so sorry, Tori.
I'll leave you alone now.
I promise.
Matt! Matt!
818404-7327 818404-7327
And that was pretty impressive.
Matt. Hey Matt! Matt. Hey Matt!
My friend Matt Franklin!
So it all worked out!
You were happy when you read that letter tonight.
- No I was not happy. - Yes.
- I was not. - Yes you were.
- I was not happy. - I saw it. I just want you to admit it!
What? Admit what?
That I don't want my baby to leave the nest?
Is that why you're mad at me?
- I'm canceling the movers, Kyle. - Whoa, what does that mean?
You know what it means.
Honey, you said yes tonight.
- Yeah I know. - Oh shit, Wenders.
Don't do this to me.
I'm begging you don't, don't do it.
I'm doing it!
You just screwed with my heart.
You know what? I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do with myself now.
Hell I don't know what to do with myself while I'm thinking about what to do with myself.
You know, that's what college is for.
- There's a lot of this. - No, not right now.
And there's also a lot of this...
You're beginning to make a lot of sense.
We should... probably say goodbye, before I screw this up again.
- Ok. - Ok. - Ok. - Ok.
- That was bold! - That's the scariest thing I did all night!
- Who wants breakfast? - Yeah... yikes!