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[NARRATOR READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]
Mommy!
[NARRATOR READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]
Whoo-hoo!
NARRATOR: Princess Leia and the Rebel Alliance
have scored a major victory.
[CHEERING]
NARRATOR: But there is no time to celebrate.
[ALL GROAN]
Fellow Rebels, with the Death Star destroyed,
the Empire will surely hunt us down.
So we must evacuate to our secret base on Hoth.
ALL: Ooh! [TAUNTAUN GROANS]
BOTH: Ew.
Luke, we fear an Imperial counterattack
may come from Naboo.
I need you to go there and locate the stormtrooper base,
then Han and I will lead the Gungan troops in to destroy it.
Hey, you can count on me, sister.
Me too, sister!
Did that sound weird to you guys too?
- Ew, yeah. - I don't know why.
- Kind of creepy. - Heh!
All right, let's move it out.
Now!
[ALL CLAMORING]
[TOILET FLUSHING]
[HUMMING]
Hello? Hello? Anyone?
Anything?
Where did they go? They've left me.
I'm all alone.
[TOILET FLUSHING]
I'm not alone.
Chewbacca, it is I, C-3PO.
It appears that we are stuck here...
... but now, we can be stuck here together.
[GROWLING]
Oh!
Oh. Maybe it's the soap I use.
MAN: He's coming! He's coming!
He's coming! He's coming! He's coming! Whoa!
We really need a railing in here.
DIRECTOR [OVER PA]: Now! This is the scene you're in!
VADER: Oops! Oh, oh. Sorry.
[PANTING]
Oh, no. Hang on. Ahem. Ahem.
DIRECTOR: You're a bad man and... Action!
The Rebel scum who attacked us must be found and eliminated.
For your sake, Admiral, I pray you are up to the task.
Yes, Lord Vader.
I've dispatched probe droids all over the galaxy,
each one programmed to hunt down Skywalker.
Not this Skywalker!
Scat! Shoo! Get away!
I will spare your life, Admiral,
but you have failed me for the last time.
You know, um, if you let him live,
he could fail you again.
- Be quiet! - You be quiet!
[ALL CLAMORING]
Stop it! All right!
Ouch!
[ALL GRUNTING]
Hey!
Ooh. Ow.
[ALL GRUNT]
Muttonheads.
HAN [OVER RADIO]: Good luck, kid. We'll see you in Theed.
LUKE: Thanks, I'll report as soon
as I find the stormtrooper base.
LEIA: Boss Nass, on behalf of the Rebel Alliance,
thank you for your assistance.
Wesa Gungan be happy to helpen yousa.
Big happy!
Well, ha, we're glad you...
Big, big happy!
If I... [GARGLES]
Ugh! Uh...
So who are these soldiers we're fighting with?
Messa is reporting for doodoo!
No, noten yousa!
That's a relief.
Themsa!
[GARGLING]
Oh! Oh, come on.
I have a brilliant plan to repay the Rebels
for destroying the Death Star.
Bold thinking, my master.
A lesser emperor would've done something stupid
like building another Death Star.
I shall build another Death Star!
Best idea ever!
PALPATINE: And the best part is we can build it together,
just me and my boys.
Yes, master.
I... did you say "boys"?
[HUMMING]
♪ Awesome ♪
♪ Handsome ♪
♪ Awesome ♪
Awesome. Awesome. And handsome.
♪ Awesome ♪
Awesome. Awesome.
- What's up, Wheezie? - Show off.
[ALL CHEERING]
Darth Maul is back, isn't it wonderful?
[SIGHS]
[R2-D2 BEEPS]
Keep your eyes peeled for Rebels, men.
Roger that.
Look, sir, droids!
[IN ALIEN LANGUAGE]
- Cool! All right! - Dibs on the 4G!
Artoo, this is great.
They've led us right to their base.
[WHISPERING] Leia, it's Luke.
I'm in Theed, and I've found a battalion of...
[ALL GIGGLING]
- Girls? - BOTH: Girls?
[BOTH GASP]
Oh, my gosh. It's Luke Skywalker!
- You're famous! - And cute!
You blew up the Death Star!
You're on my lunch box!
Shh, please. Uh, I'm on a secret mission.
GIRLS: Secret mission?
[GIRLS CHATTERING]
Hold it right there, Rebel!
Uh-oh.
I could do that.
Or you could eat my light!
Artoo!
Hang on, I wanna see where this is going.
- Wow! - Nice move.
Uh-oh!
Oh. Ah!
[GIRLS SCREAMING]
Oh, man!
This is really not a good time for this!
Please, leave me alone.
I'm a Jedi in training!
[BEEPS] We're blocked, Artoo!
I'll try to use the Force to build a bridge.
I did it! Hey, I am one with the Force.
[BEEPING]
LUKE: Aw, man!
3PO, I need your help finding a way off this street.
3PO. 3PO!
C-3PO: They've abandoned us here and left us to rot!
Even Master Luke!
Oh. I'd like to give him a piece of my mind.
- Moth-headed little... - LUKE [OVER RADIO]: 3PO!
- I need your help! - Master Luke!
And you're in danger.
Oh, I didn't mean those awful things I said about you.
I'm okay, I... what did you say about me?
Oh, never mind that now.
Chewbacca and I on our way to save you!
No, don't come here! I just want...
Chewbacca, let's go!
[ROARS]
I am calm!
Now fly this crate, you overgrown scratching post!
[ROARS]
Oh!
I suppose I asked for that.
Boys, I really thought we could do this together.
Nice job on the Death Star, Ani!
Beat it, horn-head!
Make me, pleather-pants!
Don't call me pleather-pants!
[GRUNTING]
[CHOKING]
Why are you choking yourself? Why are you choking yourself?
[CHOKING]
Stop that! Play nice!
Excellency, our probes have spotted the Millennium Falcon.
It's on its way Naboo to meet Luke Skywalker.
I will go and personally crush him.
And then you'll see
who's the most fearsome Sith lord in the galaxy.
- That was a closet. - [PALPATINE LAUGHS]
"Pleather-pants."
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
Good one.
Aah!
Sorry.
- GIRL 1: Slow down! - GIRL 2: You can't run forever!
GIRL 3: He went down that alley!
- GIRL 1: Huh? - GIRL 2: Where... ?
[LUKE HUMMING]
LUKE: Okay, Artoo. Keep it cool. Keep it cool.
Nothing to see here, just a Sith lord out for a walk.
Artoo? [BEEPING]
[GIBBERS]
Phew. [GIRL GASPS]
- There he is! - Ah!
[GIRLS CLAMORING]
We have to get back to the ship, Artoo.
Sorry, lady!
Uh! Punish him later on Dagobah, I will.
[YODA GRUNTING]
Start the ship! Start the ship!
Go, go, go, go, go!
[GIRLS CLAMORING]
I blew my mission.
And where am I gonna get help?
Ok, calm down, Luke, calm down.
Use the Force.
VADER: I'll show that yellow-eyed bully!
Use the Force.
LUKE & VADER: Use the Force.
- LUKE: What? - VADER: Huh?
- That was... - Weird!
[YELPING]
I've got sand up my nose!
Other than that, I feel peachy.
[GIBBERING]
[GIGGLING]
[SPEAKS IN ALIEN LANGUAGE]
Set immediate course for Naboo.
[LUKE SCREAMING]
Or we could run for our lives!
[SCREAMS]
Oh, my head. Oh, that hurt.
Uh-oh.
Lord Vader, we are honored by your presence.
Cool! Uh, I mean...
[IMITATING VADER] Cool. [R2-D2 BEEPS]
I didn't know you had an Artoo unit.
I do now.
That's right, we bad.
Step on it, Chewie! We have to save Master Luke.
But look out for those asteroids!
[C-3PO GASPS]
Whoa!
My motherboard... my grandmotherboard
would make a better pilot than you.
These are Luke's last coordinates.
HAN: And there's the secret barracks.
What's crucial here is the element of sur...
We have come to save you.
That's just swell.
Okay, Rebels, hands up. You're all under arrest.
Oh, my stars, Han shot first!
Of course I did. It was me or him. Why wouldn't I?
That is a subject of some debate.
HAN: Chewie, use your blaster.
Cover fire!
How can this get any worse?
[JAWA GIGGLING] Oh! Not the helmet.
Oh, right in the air vent.
You want me to buy this junk pile?
No way!
Watto, my old master, it's me, Anakin Skywalker.
Ani?
You are Anakin Skywalker?
Yes. [CHUCKLING]
Right! And I'm Count Dooku.
Crazy droid.
This is not okay!
[JAWAS GRUNTING]
[JAWAS GIGGLING]
Now this is pod racing.
Crap! I just got a bug in my mouth.
My Death Star is coming to glorious life.
Boring.
Needs more red!
Master, I have found the Rebels and will soon eviscerate them!
Excellent!
Why do you look like you just crawled out of a junk pile?
No reason.
Keep working while I monitor the battle. Okay?
You got it, Pops.
My turn.
[HUMMING]
Medic! Medic!
LEIA: That's the last of them!
In your face, Imperial scum!
MAN [OVER PA]: This is the Empire. Surrender, Rebels!
Uh, listen, I say, I... I hope I wasn't out of line
with that bit about "Imperial scum."
GENERAL: Capture is too good for the likes of you.
Men, set blasters for kill and...
LUKE: I'll take it from here, general.
- STORMTROOPER: It's Lord Vader. - Lord Vader.
You know, you're a lot shorter in person.
And you're a lot dumber in person.
I'm just saying on TV, you look so scary.
Don't make me hurt you!
[WHEEZES] Ah.
Now, I order you to destroy your barracks over there.
That was neat.
Now, I'll just be leaving with these prisoners and you...
Wait! I am the real Darth Vader.
This is an impostor!
[LUKE GRUNTING]
Luke Skywalker.
So pleased to meet you at last.
Don't play nice with me, Vader.
You killed my father!
Oh, really?
Well, I've got some news for you.
News that is going to blow your mind.
Here it comes.
Right now.
Get ready.
Spoiler alert.
Luke, I am your...
GIRL 1: There he is!
- GIRL 2: Finally! - GIRL 3: I knew we'd catch you!
Stop it, I'm about to rock his world!
Luke, I am your...
You young ladies are mobbing the wrong chap.
ALL: What?
Lord Vader's much too modest to show you,
but behind that evil mask you will find... this!
[GIRLS SIGH]
[GIRLS CLAMORING]
VADER: Don't touch my chest buttons. I need them to breathe!
I came here on a Star Destroyer that's ready to attack us.
We need to take it down.
This is what you trained for.
Rogue squadron will back you up.
[GARGLING]
- MAN 1: Fire at the AT-AT! - MAN 2: The what?
MAN 1: The big dog-looking thing!
Hello, big boy. Have a nice trip!
Yes! I'm the man!
Uh, droid.
LEIA [OVER RADIO]: Luke, you were right. There's the Star Destroyer!
We'll never defeat Vader and his men.
We will with Han on our side.
- I'm right here, sister. - Huh? What?
Relax, Chewie's flying the Falcon.
Whoa!
We're doomed! Doomed!
Whoa! [CHEWBACCA GROANS]
Oh, Chewbacca, just watch where you're sticking your paw.
Oh! No time to disentangle!
Fire! Fire!
[BOTH SCREAM]
LUKE [OVER RADIO]: I'll lead them into a trap!
C-3PO: Aah! I want to go home!
LUKE: Here's Luke!
[SCREAMS]
Oh, wait.
Now I have you now.
What? [GIRLS CLAMORING]
Oh, come on! Get a life.
Do your parents know where you are?
[SCREAMS] Whoo-hoo!
You're all clear, kid!
Now let's blow this thing
and go home, again!
- Ha-ha! Yeah! - We did it!
Whoo-hoo! Yes!
[ROARS] We did it!
Partner! Oh!
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
[GROANS]
Blast! They've got away again!
But I shall soon destroy them with my...
What is that?
How you like it, Daddy-o?
I totally awesome-ized it for you.
Now it's a Darth Star.
No, no, you Sith-head.
I can't terrorize the galaxy with that.
I'll be the laughingstock of the Empire.
VADER: Not my best day.
GIRL: We are so grounded.
[BOTH GRUNT]
Oh, I hate when this happens!
Unh. Unh. Ooh.
Please feed my dog!
- Vader. - Uh-oh.
Because of you, both my new Death Star
and Darth Maul are no more.
That's my boy!
[CHUCKLING]
Hugs means love.
[GRUMBLES]
[GIRLS SCREAMING]
Ugh.
Oh. Oh, please!
Just take that helmet off,
so we can see your dreamy face.
VADER: Okay, here you go.
[ALL SHRIEKING]
What?
[LAUGHING]
Ooh, get a load of him!
- He's so handsome. - Awesome!
GIRL 1: Look at those yellow eyes!
GIRL 2: We love you!
No! Get away!
[VADER LAUGHING] MAUL: Leave me alone.
Save yourself, lads!
[LAUGHING]
PALPATINE: Vader!
VADER: Sorry.
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