本字幕第一版由Nicolas Bourbaki制作 同时发布于GitHub和SubHD 参与的成员有
H.Cartan T-9000 Otter ToddPacker
我好喜欢这种新衬衫才有的味道啊 Ahh, I love that new T-shirt smell.
小妞儿们要是看见我们穿了 Chicks are gonna be all up in our biz
转载请务必保留字幕信息 Nicolas Bourbaki不对任何利用本字幕生成的视频负责
这身儿Rick and Morty定制衬衫 就该把持不住了 when they see us wearing these Rick and Morty custom tees.
我敢说这能卖得出去 I bet we could sell these.
那当然啊 我太他妈喜欢周边了 Hells yeah. I fuckin' love merch!
如果在观看中遇到任何错误翻译 诚邀您前往GitHub参与改错 该项目的地址是
下雨了 衣服都灼坏了 啊我操 -The rain! It -- It burns! -Oh, shit.
快 Morty 保护衬衫 Quick, Morty, protect the shirts!
门啊 快开门啊 The door! Open the door!
-Rick -是不是 Rick! Is it --
https://github.com/N-Bourbaki/Rick-and-Morty-Chinese-Subtitles 期待您的参与
Morty 能不能别我一按你就 Morty, will ya stop tryna--
好了 来吧 开了 Okay, there, it's open.
-我勒个去 -我的皮肤都被烧坏了 -Jesus. -My skin is on fire.
GitHub Contributors: qianbinbin
怎 怎么雨会烧伤我呢 W-Why is the rain doing that?
我下的酸雨 My acid rain will destroy
就是要毁掉所有绿色天然的东西 不然怎么配得上我柴油黄鼠狼的名号 all things green and natural or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.
呃 那哥们好容易满足啊 Huh. Well, that guy's easy to please.
你的酸雨 真是好酸呢 Your acid rain is an acid pain...
酸到令人作呕呀 柴油黄鼠狼 in the butt, Diesel Weasel!
-唉呀呀 -哇哦 -Yikes. -Wow.
那个话都说不利索的小妞是谁 Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?
第一要务是要扫清这场酸雨 First order of business is to clean up this acid rain
就用一阵“风”吧 with a little wind!
我的腿呀 Ow! Ow, my leg!
现在 吃我一记元素拳 火热到你难以招架 And now an elemental punch that's too hot to handle!
我打 Wa-kah!
我诅咒你 星球娜娜 Curse you, Planetina!
我还会回来的 I'll get you next slime!
地球污染的唯一解决之道 就在你 There's only one solution for Earth's pollution -- you!
-哇哦 -Morty 你要是敢再说一遍哇哦 -Wow. -Morty, if you say "wow"
妈的你信不信我 one more time, I swear to fucking God...
Rick 你疯了吗 人家可就在那呢 Are you crazy, Rick? She's right there!
行 那快把那块铝收好呢 地球的8%都是它呢 Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty. It's 8% of the Earth.
每个原子都很珍贵哦 We'll need every atom.
谢谢 “圾”少成多嘛 Thanks! Every litter-bit helps!
你有问题 Your problem!
-你说什么 -不好意思 Excuse me? S-Sorry.
我本来想说 没有问题 你客气了 I-I-I wanted to say, "N-No problem, you're welcome,"
结结结果就说成了 你有问题 a-a-and it came out "your problem."
我是个傻子 对不起 I-I'm an idiot. Sorry.
你才不傻呢 你回收了易拉罐啊 You're not an idiot. You recycled.
-我 我叫Morty -遇见你真开心 Morty -I-I'm Morty. -Nice to meet you, Morty.
我是星球娜娜 愿你今天开心哦 I'm Planetina, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
你他妈磨蹭什么呢 The fuck we doin' here?
你爱吃软冰淇淋吗 Uhh, y-y-you like soft serve?
路拐弯那儿有家店 There's a shop around the bend.
我不吃冰淇淋的 Oh, I don't eat ice cream.
因为乳品厂也产小牛肉 Veal is a product of the dairy industry.
噢 那可不太好 Oh, that's not good.
是啊 不好 No, it is not.
我的天啊 你快点啊 咱要撤了 Oh, my God! Come on! Let's go!
我知道有个地方卖对动物零残忍的甜甜圈 I know a place that serves cruelty-free doughnuts.
要是你们乐意 我可以带上你和你的朋友飞过去 If you'd like, I could fly you and your friend there
难度仅次于背个书包上学堂 easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.
好啊 那我问问他去 Okay, I-I-I'll ask him.
他 他说他去不了了 咱起飞吧 He -- He said he can't come. Let's go!
都他妈什么鬼 What the fuck was that shit?
地球已陷入危机 The Earth is in danger!
污染和浪费在蚕食我们的家园 Pollution and waste are ruining our planet.
大自然妈妈召集了四名年轻人 Mother Nature has enlisted the help of four young adults
他们来自四大主要人种 当情况变糟 from each major ethnicity -- and when things look bad,
我是说真的很糟的情况下 and I mean really bad -- they combine the powers
他们会集结起元素戒指的力量 创造出我来 of their elemental rings to create me!
我乃星球娜娜 自然环保主义超人 Planetina, conservationist super person!
地球污染的唯一解决之道 就在你 There's only one solution... for Earth's pollution -- you!
酷酷的 是吧 P-Pretty cool, huh?
真不敢相信 我跟星球娜娜一起玩过 I-I can't believe I actually hung out with Planetina.
这女的多大了 看起来怪成熟的 How old is this woman? She looks very mature.
她是有知觉力的自然元素混合体 She's a sentient amalgam of natural elements,
因此我想年龄的概念对她不适用 so I don't believe age applies to her.
真好 就在超级巨型泳池派对的前一天 Great. Taylor Murphy dumps me the day before his
Taylor Murphy把我给甩了 而我的弟弟却在和一个 hella-big pool party and my little brother's
第四阶段超级英雄约会 dating a phase four super hero.
恳请哪位朝我脑袋开枪 射死我算了 Just shoot me in the fucking head until I die.
狂欢夏夏 不至于那样的 Hey, hey, none of that, Summerfest.
看看你怎么对待你姐的 你这坨屎 Look what you're doing to your sister, you piece of shit.
她还没给我发消息 这正常吗 Is it weird that she hasn't texted me yet?
-不正常 -正常 -Yes. -No.
如果你Rick姥爷要告诉你 What if I told you that your Grandpa Rick's
他的大褂里藏了个Rick到离谱的东东 got something up his sleeve that's so Rick-diculous
足以让你把那个甩了你的傻逼 that it's gonna make you forget all about
忘得一干二净呢 that stupid asshole that dumped you?
看着点我的鸡蛋盘子呀 Hey, my egg plate!
Morglutz Slartivart 还有Ferkus 9 Morglutz, Slartivart, and Ferkus 9 --
这三个行星都要在一串延迟了的 three planets are all ending in a delayed succession
连锁大灾难中完蛋了 of cataclysmic events.
这种连环追尾一辈子只得见一次呢 A jam like this comes around only once in a lifetime.
Morglutz的太阳要爆发超新星了 Morglutz's sun is going supernova,
Slartivart会被吸进黑洞 Slartivart is falling into a black hole,
而Ferkus 9要遭受一场来自小行星的 and Ferkus 9 is getting "Deep Impact"-ed
深度撞击 by an asteroid.
它们都要经历一轮终极爆射 They're all having a major, final blow out --
我要把它们一个个荼毒吸干 and I'm gonna drug it up and suck it up before each one
就在它们燃爆之前 goes ka-blamo, and I'm taking
而我就要带上我最喜欢的孙辈和我一起去 my favorite grandkid along with me!
-棒哦 -在Morglutz待上十秒 Hells yeah.10 seconds on Morglutz,
你就会深陷“他长两根屌老娘也不再屌他”的想法 不能自拔 and you'll be up to your neck in I-could-give-two-shits-about- what's-his-ass.
还会得疱疹 And also herpes.
哦我天啊 Um... Oh, my God,
谢谢你 Rick姥爷 thank you, Grandpa Rick!
我得去拿点烟 I'm gonna go pack my rollie.
Summer 我我我还没允许你出门呢 Um, Summer? I-I-I haven't given you my approval yet.
Summer 出门的允许 Summer, approval
我还没给呢 is yet to be given here!
发生了一场巨大的山火 There's a huge forest fire
离家也就两百英里吧 like 200 miles from here!
太棒了吧 星球娜娜肯定会去的 This is amazing! Planetina's bound to be there.
妈 我 我刷你信用卡买张火车票 Mom, I-I need the credit card to buy a train ticket.
想得美 Absolutely not.
妈 这可是今年最大的山火啊 Mom, this is the biggest wildfire of the year!
-你不准去 -你不准去 You're not going!
不准个大头鬼 Da fuck I'm not.
我咋不记得这里是俄罗斯呢 Last time I checked, this wasn't Russia.
-本来就不是俄罗斯 Jerry -本姑娘现在心碎成渣 -It's not Russia, Jerry. -My heart is broken,
放纵一下理所应当 and I deserve to let loose,
要是不服 就来嗦我大一号的奶子 and if you don't like it, you can suck my bigger tit.
拜拜了您呐 傻X Adios, C-words.
Morty 我是不想你磕着碰着 Morty, I don't want you getting hurt.
-再想想嘛 -才不要想 -Please, think this over. -I don't want to think!
我要去见我喜欢的女生 I want to see a girl I like.
你要是不肯帮我 If you don't want to help me,
我就他妈自己想辙 去山火现场 I'll find my own goddamn way to the wildfire.
-我去拿酒 -谢了 -I'll get the wine. -Thank you.
州长已经启动了强制撤离 The Governor has implemented a mandatory evacuation.
放弃希望吧各位 大火已经势不可挡 Abandon all hope, people! Nothing will stop this fire.
势不可挡 Nothing!
才怪 救世女神星球娜娜驾到 Scratch that! Here's Planetina, Savioress of Earth!
噫哟 脚踩风火轮儿 Yeeouch! Talk about a hot foot.
山火荧荧 来点儿 Better put this wildfire
冰冰 on ice!
快来 小可爱 Come here, little buddy.
来来来 我在呢 Come on, come on, come on, I gotcha.
Morty 你怎么来了 Morty?! What are you doing here?
嘿 你也在啊 Oh, hey! Y-You're here, too?
嗯 在家听说了山火的事 Yeah, I heard about the wildfire back home,
所以你懂的啦 我就路过帮个忙 and, you know, I stopped by to lend a hand.
走吧 小家伙 安全了 H-Here you go, fella. All safe now.
小白兔白又白 蹦蹦跳跳 Ahh, rabbits -- al-always hopping --
真可爱 Never stoppin'.
是啊 Y-Yeah.
呃 那天 S-So it was, uh, great hanging --
那天和你很开心啊 hanging out the other day.
我有点儿 我觉得 咱俩 I-I was getting kind of a -- I mean I-I got kind of
咱俩进展还不错 a p-positive vibe.
那太好了 搞得我好紧张 Oh, good. I was putting one out.
我很喜欢你 I-I really like you.
卧嘞个槽 Holy shit.
呃 我是想说 那真好啊 I-I-I mean, uh, well, oh, all right.
那以后 你还想和我去玩吗 Next step, you w-want to go out again?
想啊 I do!
但是Morty 我有小孩了 But, uh, Morty, I have kids.
我会和他们相处好的 我也还是小孩呢 Oh, I-I-I'll get along with them. I'm-I'm a kid.
不 我说的是那四个孩子 No, I mean the four kids that bring me into existence
他们通过结合元素戒指的力量创造了我 by combining the power of their elemental rings
让我拯救地球于生态灾难 so I can save Earth from ecological disasters.
他们啊 我知道 Oh, them! No, I-I know about them.
他们很好啊 I-I like them.
好啊 他们来了 Oh, good. Well, here they are now.
喂 小子 你来要签名的吗 Hey, buddy, you want an autograph?
二十块一张 That's 20 bucks a pop.
别 Eddie 这是我朋友 No, Eddie, he's my friend.
Morty 这就是我的孩子们 娜娜志愿者 Morty, these are my kids, The Tina-Teers.
娜娜 你这是胖了么 Tina, girl, have you gained weight?
呃 我昨天吃了个植基的甜甜圈 Uh, well, I had a plant-based doughnut yesterday.
半个 Just a half.
糖分可是最毁身材的 亲爱的 Sugar is worst thing for figure, darling.
你想变丑吗 You want to be ugly?
我还以为会是几个年轻人呢 Heh, I-I thought they'd be younger.
他们从九十年代中期就开始创造我了 They've been manifesting me since the mid-'90s.
发生了很多变化 A lot has changed since then.
有点吓着你了吧 This is freaking you out, huh?
确实有点 It is a lot to take in.
我懂啦 I understand.
那 我先走咯 Well, I guess I'd better go.
之后见 See you around.
雷猴啊 58台 Hi-de-ho, TV 58!
星球娜娜 你单枪匹马救下了国家森林 不费吹灰之力 Planetina, you single-handily saved a National Forest with ease.
我尽我所能 我绝不独行 I do what I can, but I can't do it alone!
那么你那位朋友是谁呢 And who's your friend over there?
他叫Morty Smith Oh! This is Morty Smith.
他跨越了200多里路 只为了在火中拯救一只兔子 He traveled 200 miles just to save a rabbit from the fire.
真是个很特别的人 He's a very special guy.
那你们两个在约会吗 So, are you two dating?
呃 我 Oh, um, w-- I-I-I --
是的 Yes, we are.
-去你妈的爱情 -去你妈的爱情 -Fuck love. -Fuck love.
好了 得定几条规矩 All right, time to set the rules.
-放马过来 -不许叽歪 -Lay it on me. -No whining.
-懂 -不许哭 Done. No crying.
我哭过吗 As if.
还有绝对 必须 不许有情感依赖 And absolutely, positively no getting attached.
我们可是要去拍打无数肥臀了 先保量后保质 We're here to smash max ass -- quantity over quality.
-成交吗 -成交 -Deal? -Deal!
我可要好好品几副肥臀 多到把你吓出屎 I'm gonna eat so much ass, you're gonna shit.
看好啦 我在派对上就会是这副德行 Check this out. This is gonna be me at the party --
哇 又一对屁屁吗 Oh, is that another ass?
那就别介意我 Don't mind if I--
那我挤过人群的时候大概会说 打扰啊小姐 Ho-ho! This'll be me across the room -- "Excuse me, miss.
你好像还有一对屁屁没有被舔过 It appears that you have an uneaten ass.
要不我就 Allow me --
超新星派对牛逼 Whoo! Fucking super nova party!
爱都是谎言 操翻这颗星 Love is a lie! Hack the planet!
世界即将终结 不知为何 The world's ending, and for some reason,
我只想和你共度余期 I want to die with you more than anyone else.
Rick 先别看过去 Yo, Rick, don't look now,
那边有人在冲你抛媚眼哦 but someone's giving you the big eye.
借光 我得去看看 'Scuse me. I got to see a man about
骑马的事儿了 a horse I'd rather have sex with.
-你好 -我叫Rick -Hello. -I'm Rick.
世界即将终结 不知为何 Hey. So, the world's ending, and for some reason,
我只想和你共度余期 I want to die with you more than anyone else.
你好哦 Hello.
好好玩哦 Rick姥爷 Have fun, Grandpa Rick!
不要投入太多哦 No commitments!
*我乘飞机飞向你* *I flew to you on an airplane*
收到我的花了吗
收到了 谢谢
以前从没有人给我送过花
*我畏惧你给予的力量* *I was afraid that you gave me strength*
你今天在新闻上好美
真的吗 何杏不让我看电视 提起来就好烦啊
*鸟儿永远比翼飞* *Forever, birds were soul twin loves*
好晚了啊 我怎么睡不着呢
去把窗户打开 凉风会吹拂你入睡
*宝贝 快回到我身边* *Baby, come back to me*
你真是个天才
*宝贝快回来 宛如一个* *Baby, come back like it was*
惊喜 Surprise!
你怎么来了 What are you doing here?
我跟孩子们说我去回收电池了 I told my kids I went out to recycle batteries.
不开玩笑了 所有人都该把 All kidding aside, everyone should discard
用旧的电池 used batteries
送进合适的 at proper
回收中心 disposal centers
而不是随便扔到普通的垃圾桶里去 instead of tossing them into a regular waste bin.
多谢提醒 Thanks for the tip.
*花儿不会常开* *Flowers never last forever*
*但我们可以让它成为永远的过去* *But we can make it past forever*
*宝贝 快回到我身边* *Baby, come home to me*
*宝贝 你我一起便是家* *Baby, you're home with me*
五zip-zops以后 Solus就要塌了 Solus is collapsing in five zip-zops.
如果时间算得准 If we time it right,
太阳爆炸时 我们就可以射个泥鸽飞靶了 we can skeet together as the sun explodes.
听起来好棒哦 Sounds ah-mazing.
说起来 我好像把包包落在吧台了 Say, I think I left my purse back at the bar.
你俩都去帮我拿一下 可以吗 Can both of you go get it for me?
愿意为您做任何事 奥巴马夫人 Anything for you, Mrs. Obama.
是时候开溜了 Rick姥爷 Time to ghost, Grandpa Rick.
好好好 车里见 Righty-right. Meet me at the car.
这里总有一个是她要的吧 她去哪了 One of these has to be hers. Where'd she go?
看来得我们两个先开始了 I guess we'll have to start without her.
她的损失哦 Oh, her loss.
二号行星 出发 Whoo! Planet number two, let's do it!
抱歉 我耽误时间了 我得支开两只舔狗 Sorry, I took so long. I had to ditch some clingers.
出发 各位 屁股撅好 Let's do it. Up the butt, y'all.
我去 你来驾驶没问题吧 Geez, you okay to drive?
当 Shiii!
然了 我我我没问题 'Course, I-I-I'm mable.
系好安全带 Buckle up.
这是我人生最棒的一周 Whoo! The best week of my life!
你好 Hello.
-什么动静 -没什么 What was that? Nothin'.
谁想看最炫酷的 Who wants to see the most radadelic
女版超级英雄 lady-version of a super hero?
-火 -水 -Fire! -Water!
-气 -还有尘 -Air! -And Dirt!
哦不 是粉丝会 Morty 醒醒 Oh, no, the convention. Morty, wake up!
-咱们睡过头了 -怎么了 -We overslept. -What's happening?
她身上有个小男孩 Hey, there's a little boy on her!
放下幕布 Oh, d-d-drop the curtain!
根本没有幕布 There is no curtain!
白痴 把她收了 Idiots, zap her away!
别别 等下 我还 No, no, no. Wait, I-I --
保安 -Whoa! -Security!
你做了什么 让她回来 What did you do? B-Bring her back!
-抱歉了大伙儿 -放开我 -No! Let me go! -Sorry, folks.
星球娜娜马上就会回来 Planetina will be back in a moment.
在此之前 谁想只花五十美元 就拿到一个限量款玩偶 Until then, who wants a limited edition Funko for only $50?
这很难看 This is very bad.
眼看着就要成交了 We are about to close deal.
眼下我们惹不起争议 We cannot afford controversy.
别怕 Don't you worry.
我知道怎么对付这个Morty小子 I know how ta deal with this Morty kid.
哥几个准备去Hibler家 Hey, a bunch of us are going over to Hibler's place
自个杀 to shoot ourselves.
你想一起吗 Y-You want to come with?
抱歉 今晚没人能牵制夏夏 Sorry, but no man's tying down Sum-Sum tonight.
捶屌吧 Hit the dicks.
你的损失哦 宝贝 Your loss, honey.
本来这些都是给你的 You could have had allllllll this.
快来看 老年人在跳舞呢 Hey, check it out! There's old people dancing!
操 妞儿 你这舞步不输年轻人啊 Damn, girl. Your moves is tight.
-你好哦 -Rick -Hello. Rick!
这他妈一个Morglutz人在搞什么鬼 What the WTF is that Morglutzian doing here?
Morglutz人吗 她 她不是Morglutz人 Morglutzian? She's -- She's not Morglutzian.
她是这唯一没长着三只眼的蓝人 She's the only blue person here without three eyes!
好吧 被你发现了 这是 呃 Daphne Okay, fine. B-Busted. Thi-Thi-This is, uh, Daphne.
Daphne 这是Summer 我外孙女 Daphne, this is Summer, my granddaughter.
外孙女啊 你好 Granddaughter? Hello.
Daphne知道我们的串门派对 Daphne heard about our little party crawl,
我跟她说了可以带她一个 and I told her she could come with.
在在在后备箱 I-I-In the trunk.
到底他妈的怎么一回事 Rick What in the actual fuck, Rick?
我们说好了不要投入真情 We said no commitments!
这可是我们的末日串门派对 This was to be our Apocalypse Party-crawl!
你坏了规矩 You broke the rules!
呆子才守规矩 可Daphne是个怪胎 Squares follow rules, Summer. Daphne's down to freak.
我想的病态肮脏的事 她都想上 She's up for any sick, nasty thing I want to do.
-你好哦 -好啊宝贝 Hello. Oh, yeah, baby.
可以了 小伙儿们 去歇几分钟吧 All right, fellas, take five.
他对我不构成威胁 He ain't gonna give me any trouble.
星球娜娜在哪 Where's Planetina?
-别担心她了 -我想见她 -Don't you worry about her. -I want to see her!
星球娜娜肩负太多的责任了 Planetina's got a lot of responsibilities.
人们依赖她 People depend on her.
而你 我的朋友 And you, my friend,
我们暂时没法在你这分心 are a distraction we can't afford right now.
对你们来说 她只是个商品对吗 She's just a product to you, isn't she?
只是拿来赚钱的东西 Something to make money off of.
可是 星球娜娜的意义远不止于此 W-Well, Planetina's more than that.
她冰雪聪明 她活灵活现 而且我爱她 She's a brilliant, living thing, and I love her.
你爱她是吗 你猜怎么着 Oh, you love her? Well, guess what.
我们拥有她 We own her.
当然也不会拥有很久了 But not for long, of course.
我们要把她卖到阿拉伯了 We're gonna sell her to some Arab overseas.
火 Fire.
至于你 如果你漂亮的小脸蛋儿毁了 As for you, maybe she won't
可能就不那么招她喜欢了呢 love you so much if you ain't so pretty no more.
住手 Stop! Yah!
你要招惹老子吗 要吗 Y-You want to fuck with me? Do you?
臭傻逼王八蛋 Stupid fuckin' shit hole!
头儿 怎么了 让我们进去 Boss, what's happening? Let us in!
火 Fire!
我们能敲定交易了吗 Can we conclude our business?
我想赶紧在晚饭时 I'm eager to celebrate my purchase of
庆祝买下了星球娜娜 这些宝宝海豹 Planetina over dinner, and these infant seals
可越来越老了 aren't getting any younger.
就要好了 同志 Momentarily, comrade.
我们的合伙人马上就回来 Soon, our partner will return.
Eddie怎么要那么久 Ugh! What is taking Eddie so long?
打他的电话也都转到语音信箱了 His phone keep going to voicemail.
*快快留言* *Start leaving a message*
*我没法接电话哦* *I can't make it to the phone*
逗你玩的 我是Eddie 操你妈滚吧 Just kidding. It's Eddie. Go fuck yourself.
你们谁点披萨了 Which one of you ordered a pizza?
没人点披萨 怎么回事 No one order pizza. What is this?
呃 我带来了意大利奶酪 为你们特别加脆了哦 Well, I got a cheesy Italian, extra crispy just for you.
我认识这头骨 和对我自己的一样熟悉 I know those cheek bones like they're me own!
这是Eddie It's Eddie!
干他妈的搞死他 Fucking Mother! Kill him!
-石 石 -火 -Stone! Stone! -Fire!
气 Airs!
冷水 冷水 Cold Water! Cold Water!
尘 Dirt!
火 Fire!
水 Wa--
气 Airs.
我们终于可以在一起了 星球娜娜 Now we can be together, Planetina.
我有着独立人格 I am an individual character.
不代表任何团体 I represent no group.
火 -Fire! -Aaah!
水 尘 气 Water! Dirt! Airs!
完蛋了 Not good!
Blib Blib...
Naga Naga...
三 Threve...
Verillex Gam Verillex... Gam!
末日快乐 Happy Apocalypse!
-啊我天 -太糟啦 -Oh, my gaaah! -This is awful!
我们为什么要庆祝 Why were we cheering?!
你好 这有水吗 Hello. Got any agua around here?
妈妈要补水 Mama's got to hydrate.
手套箱 Glove box.
Rick是史上最酷的家伙 Rick is the coolest guy ever.
我们是彻底的灵魂伴侣 We're total soul mates.
他会向我展示宇宙的诸般奇迹 He's gonna show me the wonders of the universe.
呵 一到下个星球 Ha! Once we get to the next planet,
姥爷就丢下你 基本是 立马 Grandpa Rick is gonna ditch you, like, so fast.
是吗 Oh, is that so?
没人能牵绊住他 从来没有 Uh-huh, nobody is tying that guy down -- ever.
唯一和Rick看宇宙的小妞是我 The only chick seeing the universe with Rick is me.
如果我把Rick的嘴塞满这个就不同了 Not if I keep Rick's mouth full of these.
我 我的天 Oh, my -- Oh, my God.
是的 就是这样 我的小女友 Oh, yeah. That's right, girlfriend.
这就是你的对手 This is what you're up against.
因为这些东西 爆发过战争 Wars were fought over these.
它们毁灭过国王 鼓舞过总统 They've ruined kings, inspired presidents.
百首赞歌和九首国歌 A hundred songs and nine national anthems
为它们而作 have been written about them.
Morglutz上最好的胳膊肘奶子 Best set of elbow-titties on Morglutz.
现在 多亏了Rick 它们是整个星系最好的了 And now, thanks to Rick, the best in the galaxy.
你想让我把它们收起来吗 You want me to put them away?
-求求了 -行 Please. Sure.
但只是看在你是Rick外孙女的份上 But only because you're Rick's granddaughter.
Daph Daphne 你在哪 宝贝 Daph? Daphne? Where are ya, baby?
爸爸还想要胳膊肘油油 Papa needs some more elbow grease.
来啦 你最好盯紧路了 Comin'! Ya might want to keep your eyes on the road.
场面即将十分凌乱 It's about to get sloppy.
-来呀 -来啦 Hello! Hello.
呕 Ugh!
然后我戴上了太阳眼镜走了出去 Then I put my sunglasses on and walked out
如同无事发生 like nothing happened.
我终于自由了 I'm finally free.
都是因为Morty All because of Morty.
多么浪漫的故事啊 我儿子杀了一屋子的人 What a romantic story about our son killing a room full of people.
轮到你了 Your turn.
呃 七 Uh, seven.
一 二 三 四 五 六 七 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!
噢 不要打我的午饭 Oyyy, don't punch my lunch!
啊哈 你完了 A-ha! Eat it!
我没有食物卡了 I'm out of food cards.
不如我借给你两个乳蛋饼 只要10%的利息 How 'bout I loan you two quiche at 10%?
真大方 That's so generous.
轮到我了 My turn!
两个六 宝贝儿 Double sixes, baby!
-一 二 三 -星球娜娜接下来什么打算 One, two, three... So, what's next for Planetina?
呃 既然我不再需要做签售 Well, now that I'm not distracted by book signings
也不用作秀了 Morty和我可以专注于 and publicity stunts, Morty and I can concentrate on
更重要的事情了 more important things.
比如上学 Like school.
比如搬过来 Like moving in.
星球娜娜现在还没有住的地方 Planetina doesn't have a place to stay now,
所以我说她可以和我们一起住 so I said she could live with us.
-天哪 Morty 不 -我好饱 -Holy shit. Morty, no. -I'm so full!
-“不”是什么意思 -呜呼 -What do you mean, no? -Whoo!
不要打我的午饭 Don't punch my lunch.
我不会成为负担的，Smith太太 I wouldn't be a burden, Mrs. Smith.
我只想和你的儿子 I only want to spend as much time
尽可能多地相处 as possible with your son.
我的儿子14岁 小姐 My son is 14, miss.
抱歉 Morty 你还太年轻 I'm sorry, Morty. You're way too young.
但 你你你被爸爸搞怀孕的时候也还是个小年轻 But y-y-y-you were a teenager when Dad got you pregnant.
我那时候是17岁 I was 17!
换算成男生至少26岁了 That's at least 26 in boy years.
我肯定星球娜娜是个好人 但当你是个年轻人 I'm sure Planetina is very nice, but when you're a teenager,
爱情最多也就是转瞬即逝 love is fleeting, at best.
你小看了Morty 他是个非常成熟的年轻人 You underestimate Morty. He is a very mature young man.
看到了吗 妈妈 我说了 See, Mom? I told you!
这是不可能的 没得商量 This is not happening. End of discussion.
星球娜娜 我认为你该离开了 请走吧 Planetina, I think you should leave, please.
好吧 Smith太太 Okay, Mrs. Smith.
哦 不 Oh, no!
妈妈 我恨你 Mom, I hate you!
-你糟透了 -嘿 好了 这只是个游戏 -You suck! -Hey, now, it's only a game.
-闭嘴 -闭嘴 -Shut up! -Shut up!
-好的 -在我的整个生命中 -Okay. -My whole life,
我从没在任何地方融入过 I've never fit in anywhere.
任何我说的东西都会被翻白眼 Everything I have to say is always met with an eye roll
就好像听我说话是烦人的琐事 as if the act of hearing what I have to say is some exhausting chore.
这个家里没人觉得我能说什么或者做什么正确的事 Nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right!
我跑遍了全宇宙 遇到了几百个人 I've been all over the universe, met hundreds of people,
星球娜娜是我遇到的唯一能让我感到合得来的 and Planetina's the only one I've ever met that makes me feel like I belong,
而你却把她赶出了我们家 and you just kicked her out of our house!
Morty 别 Morty, please --
我永远不会原谅你 I will never forgive you for this!
*拿起剑抛向远处* *Get the sword and throw it far*
*让它在晨星下闪耀* *Let it shine under the morning star*
Morty Morty 回来 Morty! Morty, come back!
*你是谁* *Who are you?*
*我是你的谁* *Who am I to you?*
*我是你的反基督* *I am the antichrist to you*
*优雅地坠落天际* *Fallen from the sky with grace*
*坠入你的怀里* *Into your arms race*
滚出去 所有人 滚出去 Get out! All of you, get out of there!
你们在杀死这个星球 You're killing the planet!
你们选举输了 Your people didn't get the votes.
离开 不然我叫人来逮捕你了 Leave, or I'll have you arrested.
你们这群人才应该被逮捕 It's you people who should be arrested.
毁坏大地 污染你们孩子呼吸的空气 Gutting the land, poisoning the air your children breathe?!
你们看不见你们在做什么吗 Can't you see what you're doing?!
说起来容易 你可以按你想要的方式过日子 Easy for you to say! You can live how you want!
我们需要这份工作 走 伙计们 We need the jobs. Let's go, boys.
她阻止不了我们 She can't stop us.
我 我们下回再对付他们 W-We'll get them next time.
没时间了 There's no time left!
你听不到地球在尖叫吗 Can't you hear the Earth screaming?
你们这些肮脏的杀人犯 You filthy murderers!
星球娜娜 停下 Planetina, stop it!
地球污染只有唯一解决之道 There's only one solution for Earth's pollution!
啊 我的天 不 Oh, my God, no.
*我是你的谁* *Who am I to you?
*我是你的反基督* *I am the antichrist to you
不 No!
无法相信我睡了我同事 I can't believe I'm banging my co-workers.
我还是老板 And I'm the boss!
和我爸的同性做爱太棒了 This gay sex with my Dad is terrific!
我在想啥呀 What was I thinking?
很快一切都要完了 It'll all be over soon!
朝着我尿尿的最后机会啦 有人要来吗 Last chance to pee on me! Anyone?!
好了 姥爷 陨石马上要来了 Okay, Grandpa, the meteor's almost here.
-我们可以走了 -啊 不 我们还有时间 -We can go now. -Ah, nah, we still got time.
那就不要恋爱 开始享乐 Well, then stop being in love and start having fun.
啊 爱情很有意思的 Summer 试一试嘛 Ah, love's pretty fun, Summer. Just give it a chance.
这甚至都不是真的爱情 It's not even real love!
Daphne和你在一起只是为了活命 Daphne's just with you so she can keep surviving!
啊 年轻人 如此天真 Ah, the young -- so naive.
呕 恶心 Eww, gross.
祝贺 Ferkus人 Congratulations, Ferkisians!
你们的末日中止了 Your apocalypse is aborted.
然后 姥爷 你和我可以回家了 And, Grandpa, you and I can go home.
Daphne你可以一起来 Daphne, you may come with.
如果你不必来但还想来的话 If you want to and don't have to.
我不知道你想搞什么 Summer I don't know what you're getting at, Summer.
显然 Daphne想 Obviously, Daphne wants to --
哇 你这冰冷的婊子 你好 Aw, you cold bitch. Hello?
再见 Goodbye.
嘿 她就是那个拯救世界的人 Hey, she's the one that saved the world!
这下我们明天又得工作了 Now we got to go to work tomorrow!
你个混蛋 You fucker!
抱歉我把你和Daphne的事搞砸了 Sorry I messed things up with Daphne.
闭嘴 我知道是什么情况 Just shut up. I get it.
-是吗 你不气吗 -我气炸了 -Really? You're not mad? -I'm furious.
但我不得不承认你挺有Rick味儿的 But I have to admit, it was pretty Rick of you
发了个玩世不恭的脾气 逆转一场末日 to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism
只为毁掉一段愚蠢的关系 just to destroy one dumb relationship.
还是 抱歉 Still, sorry.
啊 我也会为你做同样的事的 Eh, I would've done the same for you.
保证 Promise?
爱你 Rick姥爷 Love you, Grandpa Rick.
别搞得很奇怪 Don't make it weird.
求你了 说句话吧
我不知道该和你说什么
求你走吧 我不能再和你交往了 Please go. I-I-I can't see you anymore.
你甚至都不想试着解决吗 Don't you even want to try to make it work?
我们曾经那么亲密 We were so close.
你谋杀了300人 You murdered 300 people.
你也杀了我的孩子们啊 And you murdered my kids.
他们准备把你永远卖了 They were gonna sell you away forever.
Eddie要杀我 Eddie was trying to kill me!
那 那些矿工是无辜的 Th-Those miners were innocent.
那些无辜的矿工 投票投给了 Those innocent miners voted men into power to protect
可以保住他们饭碗的人 这样他们就能 their precious jobs so they can buy more
买更多的塑料垃圾 食用被虐待动物的尸体 plastic garbage and eat the corpses of tortured animals.
这个体制已经坏掉了 Morty The system is broken, Morty.
这是我唯一可以拯救地球的办法 This is the only way I can save Earth,
我唯一可以拯救你的办法 the only way I can save you.
如果这是唯一的办法 我 我不想被拯救 If that's the only way, I-I don't want to be saved.
你走吧 Please, go.
但 我爱你 But... I love you.
我我我做不到 我没法爱你 I-I-I can't -- I-I can't love you.
我 我就是做不到 I-I just can't.
请你理解我 Please understand.
不 No.
我会离开 但你别指望我会理解 I'll go, but don't you dare ask me to understand.
星球娜娜 我 我很抱歉 Planetina, I-I'm so sorry.
操你的 Fuck you.
Morty 你还好吗 Morty? Are you all right?
她走了 妈妈 她走了 She's gone, Mom! She's gone!
我曾是如此爱她 I loved her so much!
我知道 亲爱的 I know you did, honey.
嘘 妈妈在呢 Shh, Mommy's here.
*让它在晨星下闪耀* *Let it shine under the morning star*
*你是谁* *Who are you?*
*我是你的谁* *Who am I to you?*
*我是你的反基督* *I am the antichrist to you*
*优雅地坠落天际* *Fallen from the sky with grace*
*坠入你的怀里* *Into your arms*
早上好 Good morning.
早 'Morning.
今天时间好慢 哈 Slow day, huh?
是 Yep.
可能是因为人人都认为 Probably because everybody thought
这世界今天不会 嗯 还在这 the world wouldn't be, you know, like, here today.
妈妈在后面吗 Mm-hmm. Mom in back?
妈妈不和我们说话了 Mom's not talking to us.
因为我们做爱了 Because we had sex?
-是的 -呃 是了 Yes. Uh, yeah.
那就说得通了 That makes sense.
对了 生日快乐 Happy birthday, by the way.