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請賜我靈感 讓我唱出這故事
一位身經百戰的鬥士
一名飽受磨難的流浪者
拉撒路
警長大人
對他的副手說
去把拉撒路給我抓來
警長大人
對他的副手說
去把拉撒路給我抓來
不管是死是活
老天
不管是死是活
副警長
回答警長大人
我才不要惹拉撒路
副警長
回答警長大人
我才不要惹拉撒路
不要偷懶
是的，長官
他是危險人物
老天
他是危險人物
動作快
片名《逃獄三王》
喂
你們誰是鐵匠？
不是鐵匠的話
你們開始流浪以前
有誰學過煉金術？
拜託，幫幫忙行不行
對不起，艾維特
算了
如果我們從河口出發…… 等一下
誰選你當老大的？
皮特，我認為 應該是有頭腦的人當
你要是不同意，我們就來選
可以，我選我自己
我也選我自己
好，我支持你們
可以讓我們搭便車嗎？
可以，當然可以
你是鐵路公司的人？
我誰的人都不是
你有名字嗎？
我沒有名字
難怪你會找不到工作
在競爭的商業市場……
你們在尋寶
三個人銬在一起
你們會找到寶藏
雖然不是你們要找的那筆
不過首先……
你們必須經過 一段漫長艱辛的路
一段充滿危險的路
你們會看到……
不可思議的事情
你們會看到一隻……乳牛
在一間倉庫的屋頂上
棉花倉庫
還有，許許多多的意外
我不能告訴你們 這段路程有多長
不要害怕遇到挫折
命運已經給了你們回報
雖然路程崎嶇
雖然心力交瘁
還是要繼續走下去
你們就會得到幫助
兄弟，相信我，寶藏還在
那他是怎麼知道的？
我不曉得
據說瞎子因為看不到
所以感覺特別敏銳
有的還會有超能力
預知未來就是其中之一
能看見不具形像的生命體……
他說我們不會找到寶藏
因為會遇到挫折
他懂什麼？他只是個糟老頭
拜託，皮特 我說過是我親手埋的
你堂哥的馬場如果還在
就可以幫我們把鐵鏈敲掉
給我站住
銀行派你們來的？
你是阿華的兒子？
對，我爹說 看到銀行的人就開槍
小朋友，我們不是
還有看到法院的人也要開槍
我們也不是
我逮到了人口普查員
你真厲害
你爹在不在？
皮特，你的朋友？
很高興認識你，哈格瓦先生
我是尤里西斯麥吉爾
我是迪摩歐唐納
你好嗎？阿華
十二、三年沒見了吧？
你們是來找我幫忙的
維斯特堂弟的農場被查封
他上吊都快一年了
雷利夫叔叔呢？
他的牛得口蹄疫死了一半 剩下的又不產乳
一個兒子得耳下腺炎死了
卡拉人呢？
不能說
哈格瓦太太……
她大概是去尋找自我了
大概吧！
終於可以擺脫她了
我只想念她煮的菜
你煮的燉肉很好吃 真的？
我上星期二把馬殺掉的
本來還怕肉會臭掉
你是我的陽光
我唯一的陽光
你讓我快樂
當天空陰暗
親愛的，你不知道
我有多愛你
請你別帶走我的陽光
今晚的丹尼老爹麵粉時間
「給我比斯吉」 為您播送到此
我是丹尼老爹 希望您喜歡今晚的懷舊老歌
記住……
當您煎烙餅 或者烤比斯吉時……
用乾淨的冷水
加上純正的丹尼老爹麵粉
「彬士牌」
我要去睡覺了
嗯……阿華堂哥
你一定覺得我很「俗」 問你有沒有發網
那邊衣櫃有一堆
其實是我太太的
要用自己拿
反正我用不到
好了，各位
我的髮型如何？
我們是警察
你們被包圍了
干！麻煩大了
乖乖出來投降
別想耍花樣
干！事情大條了
搞什麼東東……
皮特的堂哥出賣我們
你胡說
阿華是自己人
對不起，皮特
我知道我們是親戚 但是現在經濟蕭條……
我還有一家子要養
我要殺了你 報馬仔、死線民
吃馬肉的王八蛋……
干！麻煩大了
睜眼說瞎話
我爸常說 千萬別相信哈格瓦家的人
臭條子，有種就上來
是你們逼我們用煙 熏你們出來的
干！事情大條了
點火
等一下，各位
你們沒聽過談判嗎？
有話好說嘛！我討厭火
卑鄙無恥的討厭鬼
我們應該口徑一致 你們不要玩火嘛！
夠了
我討厭火
缺牙、缺德的勢力鬼
我的媽
快閃，車子要爆炸了
兄弟們，找掩護 這可不是爆米花
散開，兄弟們
快上車 我要跑啦！
老大，快點
你怎麼會在這兒？ 你該上床睡覺的
你管我
沒良心的偷車賊
你去死
回家照顧你爸去
到底是什麼鬼問題？
零件可以從伯斯托調過來 要兩個禮拜的時間
你要的發油
兩個禮拜？ 根本不能解決問題嘛
那是最近的福特車廠
等一下，我不要這一種 我要彬士牌
我不賣彬士牌，只賣雅痞牌
我不要雅痞牌 媽的，我只用彬士牌
先生，說話客氣點 我還要做生意
你要的話，我可以幫你訂
兩個禮拜就會收到
這是什麼狗屁地方
從哪都要兩個禮拜，算了
給我一打發網
看起來不像個小鎮
一買發油就知道了
要不要吃地鼠？
連變速箱皮帶 都要等兩個禮拜
州政府21號就要蓋水壩了
今天已經17號了
我當然知道
我們只剩四天的時間
不然寶藏就要埋在水底了
我們走不到的
沒錯
要不要吃地鼠？
不過山人我自有妙計
我是指交通工具
但我不知道 該如何維持我的髮型
這算什麼妙計 我們要怎麼弄車？
把表賣掉，省得你看了不爽
給華盛頓哈格瓦
愛你的卡拉
從他衣櫃拿的
我估計賣表的錢買了二手車 還有的剩
你手腳真快
要不要？
你這個卑鄙的小偷
你偷我親戚的東西
是他先出賣我們的
你偷的時候又不知道
所以我知道以前是借的
你的話完全不合理
只有笨蛋才會計較 合理不合理
那是什麼聲音？
看起來像是……
宗教集會
要不要來點地鼠？
不，謝了
一隻地鼠還不夠我塞牙縫
整串都給你
我和皮特已經吃過了
我們剛好發現……
一個地鼠窩
弟兄們，跟我們一起來
跟我們一起來
弟兄們，跟我們一起來
來到河邊祈禱
我來到河邊祈禱
遵崇主的訓誨
和應加冕的王
慈愛的主，指引我路
父老們，跟我們一起來
跟我們一起來
父老們，跟我們一起來
來到河邊祈禱
我來到河邊祈禱
遵崇主的訓誨
和應榮耀的王
慈愛的主，指引我路
姊妹們，跟我們一起來
一起來，加入我們
姊妹們，跟我們一起來
我看經濟不好讓他們秀逗了
大家都在尋找答案 老是有……
他發什麼神經？
我一定是眼花了
迪摩得救了
兄弟們，我被拯救了
牧師洗去了我所有的罪
從現在起我要重新做人
掛了以後就會得到永生
你在胡說什麼？ 我們還有大事要辦
牧師說 我全部的罪都被赦免了
包括我在耶珠河 撞翻的那個豬頭
你不是說你是無辜的
我騙你的
牧師說那個罪也被赦免了
不管是上帝還是人 都沒話好說
來吧！水很乾淨哦
乖，過來，好狗狗
「彬士牌」
聞到味道了
牧師說我們被赦免了
被他，不是被法律
我還以為你比迪摩聰明
但是我們有目擊證人
這不是問題的重點
密西西比州 可不像上帝那麼好說話
你應該加入的 反正又沒什麼損失
至少你可以洗掉發油的臭味
和兩個白癡一起迷信？
不必了 而且我喜歡我發油的味道
不然我買來幹嘛
受洗
你們兩個簡直比豬還笨
你們八成就是 我要揹的十字架
靠邊停 我們載那個黑人一程
你們會經過提沙明哥鎮嗎？
好，上車吧！
你好，老兄，我叫艾維特
這兩個鄉巴佬是皮特和迪摩
他有十三年沒吃過好東西
中間只吃過 牢飯、地鼠，還有死馬
謝謝你們讓我搭便車 我叫湯米，湯米瓊斯
你好，湯米
這附近連棟房子都看不到
你跑來這種鬼地方幹嘛？
我昨天半夜 必須在那個十字路口
好把我的靈魂賣給魔鬼
真巧，大家都信這一套
上帝剛剛才救了他們
我大概是唯一 沒有派系色彩的
你不要亂開玩笑
你拿靈魂去交換什麼？
他教我彈一手好吉他
老兄
你出賣你的靈魂 就為了彈吉他？
反正我也用不到
我一直很想知道 魔鬼到底長什麼樣？
各式各樣的小鬼和惡魔 多得是……
但是撒旦的本尊 長滿紅色的鱗片
尾巴分叉 還拿著一支幹草叉
錯了，先生
他是白的
他跟你們一樣白
雙眼無神，聲音空洞
他喜歡帶著一隻老狗 到處旅行
是他叫你去提沙明哥鎮的？
不是，先生，是我自己想去
我聽說那邊有人 付錢請人對著罐子唱歌
唱得好的話，他還會多付
提沙明哥鎮？
他付多少錢？
好了，兄弟們，跟我來
有人在嗎？
請問老闆在嗎？
找我有什麼事？
你好，我是喬丹瑞佛斯
我們是密西西比州的 鄉巴佬合唱團
擅長撫慰靈魂的救世歌曲
我們聽說你付錢 請人對著罐子唱歌
那要看情形 你們唱黑鬼的歌？
先生，我們是黑人……
除了我們的……伴奏 彈吉他的傢伙
可惜我不錄黑鬼的歌
我在找唱老歌的人
自從丹尼老爹麵粉時間 開始播老歌以後
大家都愛聽的不得了
謝謝你們來應徵
先生……
鄉巴佬合唱團 最拿手的就是懷舊老歌
拜託，我們最會唱老歌了
沒錯
沒錯，其實我們不是黑人
我們的伴奏才是
我
獨自一人
滿懷悲傷
我的一生
歷盡滄桑
我
揮手告別
告別肯塔基
我的家鄉
我生長的地方
他的家鄉
他生長的地方
經過
漫長六年
只有痛苦
沒有歡笑
在人世間
因為
在這世上
我注定流浪
沒有朋友
可以依靠
他沒有朋友
可以依靠
或許
朋友你認為
我只是陌生人
你我不會再次相遇
但我們得到
他的應許
你我相遇於
上帝國度
你倆相遇於
上帝國度
小子 我現在相信你說的話了
各位，表演的實在太棒了
這樣吧！
你們進來簽一些文件
我會給你們一人十塊錢
好，可是麥特和阿羅 只能畫叉叉
只有我們四個會寫字
沒關係
先生，不是我要唬你
裡面那個傢伙肯付你十塊錢 對著罐子唱歌
我不是來錄唱片的，死老百姓
我是來做廣播節目的
他就是州長，丹尼老爹
希望你們購買他的麵粉 還有支持他連任
密西西比州歷任最好的州長
是全國
沒錯，所有選區最好的
他說的比較好
你不要擁抱群眾 造勢一下嗎？
我要擁抱你，你這個無腦兒
我不需要你教我怎麼競選
一一拉票的時代早就過了 現在要靠大眾傳播
對，那是最有影響力的方法
快點，兒子 還好你媽死的早
否則她會被你活活氣死
嗨，你好嗎？
可惡，莉莉
你要去哪
莫非情況不夠糟
大家都愛你
所有的人
找不到天堂 我不在乎他們要去哪
賣唱維生
你是否願意
受現實逼迫，去四處流浪
我們今晚在這兒過夜
好，那間舊穀倉臭死了
我無所謂
我們很快就可以……
躺在鋪絲床單的羽毛床上
一百萬元
一百二十萬元
每個人五十萬
是四十萬，迪摩
皮特 你打算怎麼花你那一份？
去西部……
開一家高級餐廳
我自己當經理
招呼所有的大人物
每天西裝筆挺的去上班
員工都會對我必恭必敬
隨我指揮
而且吃飯不要錢
那你呢？迪摩
你打算怎麼花？
回去找印第安那拉銀行 貸款部……
那些負責查封的王八蛋
拿錢往他們臉上砸
然後把我的農場買回來
男人沒有了土地 就什麼都不是
你呢？艾維特
你當時打算要怎麼花？
我什麼計劃都沒有
聽起來完全不像你
裡面的人聽好，我們是警察
你們逃不掉了
該死，我們的車被發現了
我們沒時間
也沒興趣陪你們慢慢玩
干！我們得趕快逃
我的發油還在車上 也許我可以偷偷爬過去……
別傻了
我們跑啊！
湯米人呢？
早就跑了
他被嚇呆了
快閃
沒有人會讓三個髒鬼 搭便車的
其中一個還英明到 不肯閉嘴
對你的不滿言論
我不打算辯解
但是對你的消極態度 我倒是要提出看法
看看滿坑滿谷的百合花
或者，看看迪摩的態度
對啊，看看我
你可以罵我們不理智
或者罵我們遲鈍 但是事實上……
我們還有三天的時間
在他們……
蓋水壩以前
這是去伊塔畢納的路嗎？
伊塔畢納？
那不是……
繼續往下走
這樣走不對，我覺得是……
走那條路 那樣走也不對
我記得有一條路
一條小路可以直通……
幾乎可以直通……
……好像也不太對 上車再慢慢想
你們有誰會用 沃特PPK型？
那裡我們就真的不清楚了
我記得不在密西西比州
老兄，你的錢掉出來了
能不能幫我塞回袋子裡？
你們不是壞蛋吧？
你問對了
我昨天還是壞人 不過皮特和我已經得救了
我是迪摩，你旁邊是艾維特
喬治尼爾遜，幸會
抓住方向盤，行不行
把傢伙給我
你是做哪一行的？喬治
來捉我啊！死條子
你們這些扁平足 死白癡、大笨蛋
沒有人能抓到我 我是喬治尼爾遜
我是有史以來 最偉大的經濟罪犯
我身高十英尺半 而且還在發育中
乳牛
乳牛比警察還討厭
喬治，別殺家畜
你們這些領薪水的混蛋 來抓我啊！
來吧！我們要破記錄了 兩小時內搶三家銀行
各位，先給錢，再鼓掌
我是喬治尼爾遜 我來伊塔畢納搶劫的
他可真是生龍活虎
錢全部放進袋子裡 看什麼看？
請問……你有脫逃的計劃嗎？
當然有
這就是我的計劃
他們一定沒看過這樣的火力
謝謝大家，記住……
耶穌愛世人，喬治尼爾遜愛錢
去發動車子
他就是娃娃臉尼爾遜
誰說的？
哪個無知、下流……
愛說閒話的混蛋說的？
我叫喬治尼爾遜
聽到沒？
她沒有別的意思
是喬治尼爾遜 不是娃娃臉尼爾遜
你給我記住，告訴所有的人
我是喬治尼爾遜 天生的壞胚子
實在是很刺激 對不對？喬治
對
我差點希望自己沒有被拯救
搶銀行……我可以瞭解為什麼
你可以從中間 得到那麼大的滿足
還好啦
嘿，狗狗
好了
我要走了
你們不介意的話……
就拿我的錢去用
你要去哪？
我不知道，無所謂
你想他是為什麼心情不好？
迪摩，人家說……
追求刺激的人 沒有永遠的高潮
前一分鍾意氣風發 後一分鐘鬱鬱寡歡
我們的朋友喬治 就像一隻野貓
他的尾巴反應了他的情緒
不用擔心，不會有事的
我不認為喬治尼爾遜 會從此消聲匿跡
別被丹尼老爹當傻瓜
州長候選人荷馬史托奇
還本州一片淨土
投票給史托奇
等一下，我要穿插一段音樂
下面要替各位播放的 是我的遠親……
和她堂弟共同演奏的音樂
相信你們一定會喜歡
有什麼需要幫忙的？ 法蘭奇先生？
怎樣才能聯絡到 鄉巴佬合唱團？
鄉巴佬……我沒什麼印象
他們前幾天來錄過一首歌
一首吉他伴奏的懷舊老歌
哦，對……我想起來了
黑人，應該沒錯
一群優秀的年輕人
他們對罐子唱完歌就走了
那張唱片現在大賣
連阿拉巴馬州都在放這首歌
整個州為之瘋狂
這就是廣播的威力
我們必須趕快找他們簽約
不然就要被其他同行搶走了
說的對 立刻就辦
「到底鄉巴佬合唱團 是何方神聖」
你有鄉巴佬合唱團的 「悲傷情歌」嗎？
沒有，我們昨天是進了一批
可是已經全部賣光了
安靜，迪摩
靠邊停！靠邊停
我看皮特是不行了
快睡覺，寶貝
你媽媽走掉了 你爸爸出去了
沒有人在家
只剩下寶貝
小姐，你們好，我叫皮特
快睡覺，寶貝
大家都在田里工作
沒有人在家
只剩下寶貝
你不幫我們介紹嗎？
我不知道她們的名字
是我先看到的
可愛的寶貝
吃過蜂蜜糖，就變甜嘴巴
我要帶回家給我的寶貝
不要哭，寶貝
她穿著紅鞋走了
去見別的可愛寶貝
小姐，我是尤里西斯麥吉爾
你們三位女士是最美麗的……
你跟我和魔鬼作伴
不再需要別的寶貝
睡蓮
我從來……
快睡覺，寶貝
你跟我和魔鬼作伴
不再需要別的寶貝
快睡覺，寶貝
你媽媽走掉了 你爸爸出去了
沒有人在家，只剩下寶貝
快睡覺，寶貝
來，躺到石頭上
做我深愛的寶貝
艾維特
我的頭髮
你快看
皮特
你死到哪去了？
皮特
我們沒時間玩捉迷藏
也沒空理你的惡作劇
我的天，艾維特
她們留下他的心
你有毛病啊？
你看不出來嗎？
是那些美人魚做的
她們誘惑他 把他變成一隻好色的蟾蜍
皮特
皮特，是我，迪摩
是我，迪摩
艾維特
我們該怎麼辦？
我不認為那是皮特
當然是，你自己看
我們一定要找巫師 把他變回來
我還是不認為那是皮特
沒有人帶蟾蜍進高級餐廳的
別的客人會吃不下飯
我覺得不應該把它藏起來 好像很丟臉一樣
它要是皮特，我才覺得丟臉
我認為他活該
和那些勾魂女妖亂搞
事出必有因
這就是他個性上的弱點
可是我們也準備胡搞的
不好意思，我朋友是鄉下人
沒見過什麼大世面
我們要點……
牛排跟奶油烤洋芋
還有你們最好的香檳
我不認為 你們廚房裡會有昆蟲
那就給我們幾片菜葉好了
好的，先生
謝謝你，那種鄉下空地……
你們不是本地人吧！
我來自我介紹一下 我叫丹尼爾狄格
附近的人都叫我大丹狗
那些怕麻煩的就叫我大丹
你好嗎？大丹 我叫尤里西斯麥吉爾
這是我同事，迪摩歐唐納
我發現你和我一樣 都有一付好口才
幹這一行 不會說話是不行的
誰都不希望……
聊天的時候冷場
英雄所見略同
你從事哪一行的？ 銷售員，麥吉爾先生
我賣什麼呢？ 從創世紀到啟示錄
所有真理、祝福的話
沒錯，就是神的話語 讓我告訴你……
世道差的時候 這行特別有賺頭
人們都在尋找答案
只有大丹賣的書才有答案
你是幹哪一行的？ 你和這位木訥的朋友
我們是……
我們是探險家
目前朝既定的目標邁進 但是不排斥別的機會
我欣賞你的作風 所以我要幫你
你幫我買單 我就不用上樓了
順便叫女侍幫你把食物打包
去外面談比較方便
我要告訴你藉著侍奉主……
來賺大錢的方法
有何不可？ 能和有水準的人聊天也不錯
別忘了你的鞋盒
落後！
該死的競選一直在落後
我們需要一劑強心針 你們聽到沒？
一劑強心針
還好不是明天投票 不然史托奇早就贏了
爸，他是改革派的候選人
所以？
大家都喜歡改革
我們應該來改革
改革你的頭，白癡低能兒
我還是現任州長 你要我改革誰？
你們想不出更好的方法嗎？ 改革個屁！
耶穌都會被你們氣瘋
你乾脆開始幫我 寫退職演說算了
是的，老爹
我只是隨便說說，死白癡
把帽子還給我，快點
老爹只是隨便說說 閉嘴
不好意思吃了你們的燉肉
我就是胃口太好 剛吃完午餐……
還是會肚子餓
不客氣
謝謝你們耐心的等我吃完
我向來都是 「食不語」的奉行者
有的人喜歡邊吃邊說
我覺得很沒氣質 我們說到哪？
靠侍奉主來賺錢
你是不鳴則已，一鳴驚人
沒錯，賣聖經
這行其實很簡單 只要學會兩點
第一，如何找到批發商 增加銷售量
第二，如何鎖定顧客群 瞭解消費習性
說穿了，就是心理學的運用
我現在要教你們
如何來運用心理學
需要嗎？ 我覺得自己蠻瞭解人性的
沒錯，兄弟 我在餐廳就看出來了
這就是我找你們出來 個別指導的原因
怎麼回事？
全是為了錢，這就是答案
一
二
三
我不明白
我只要你的錢
還有你盒子裡的寶貝
只有一隻爛蟾蜍
你不瞭解
那是皮特
皮特
你知道這玩意 會害你長疣嗎？
下課
再見
想我就看報紙
你會在廣告版看到我的消息
他們在哪？
快說，死不認錯的王八蛋
他們要去哪？
尖叫救不了你的
還是招供吧！
他們要去哪？
猴仔、阿鑼
雨下的正是時候
就像上帝的慈悲
你朋友拋棄你了
他們哪會在意你的死活
去準備
安心去吧！皮特
我們遲早會見面的
天哪！
主，原諒我
等等
相信我 他會希望我們繼續下去
皮特，願他安息
生前是個脾氣古怪……
不會多愁善感的人
我就是覺得 挖寶少了他不對勁
也許他被捏死對大家都好
反正……
他是冷血動物
等到我們梳洗乾淨以後……
感覺就不會那麼難過
那麼悲觀了
大概到勞動農場附近了
可憐的傢伙
感覺像是昨天才逃出來一樣
皮特有兄弟嗎？
我沒聽他說有
我八成是中暑了
暴風雨的無情怒氣
鞭打我們脆弱的心
陰暗的天氣終究會過去
陽光會再度照耀我和你
抱持希望
永遠抱持希望
對生命抱持希望
它會幫助我們
「下任州長：荷馬史托奇」 它會指引我們
「下任州長：荷馬史托奇」 如果我們對生命抱持希望
如果我們對生命抱持希望
唱的真好
我相信光明合唱團一定同意
那就是偉大的密西西比州……
不能再讓丹尼老爹連任
繼續任用親信
結黨營私
還有政商勾結
現在，答案很明顯
選丹尼老爹 既得利益的擁護者
選荷馬史托奇 小市民的僕人
我說的對嗎？ 他沒說謊
各位先生、女士 小市民提醒了我
抓起改革的掃把
還本州一片淨土
老爹，滾回你的麵粉廠
他有辦法照顧自己的
下星期二……
我們要掃除特權
清廉的政府掌握在你們手中
現在讓我們歡迎華氏姐妹
華氏姐妹？
他是說華氏姐妹嗎？
小妹妹，過來
你們要唱什麼歌？
「為主奔波」
搞什麼
你認識她們？艾維特
在道路上，在田野中
我在為我主奔波
我在奔波，我在奔波
我在為我主奔波
我在奔波，我在奔波
我在為我主奔波
女兒
爸爸，爸爸
爸爸？他不是我們的爸爸
不是才怪，什麼華氏姐妹 你們明明姓麥吉爾
那是你被火車撞到以前
我沒有被火車撞到
媽說你有 撞到不見
只剩下一灘油
可惡，我沒有被火車撞到
所以我們全部跟媽媽姓
那是她娘家的姓
爸，你有娘家嗎？
爸爸沒有娘家，因為……
你真可憐
媽媽現在有新男朋友了
他是主控官
我聽說了
媽媽說他很有誠意
他送她戒指了？
送了，很大一個
有寶石
媽媽檢查過了
是真的 他是主控官
他叫什麼？
維南沃普
維南叔叔
明天還是
然後他就是爸爸了
你們的爸爸是我 我才是一家之主
可是你沒誠意
你媽在哪？
她在雜貨店
買奶嘴
天使等待
領我回家
吻我，母親
爸爸 寶貝
我的小女兒好嗎？
那又是誰？
史妲拉華威
你是說史妲拉麥吉爾
你怎麼沒告訴我？
因為你被火車撞了
你幹嘛跟女兒說 我被火車撞到？
很多名人都是被火車撞死的
庫維爾郡的哈比法官就是
難道要說因為你坐牢很丟臉 所以我們離婚了？
我瞭解 但是你的說法讓我很尷尬
女兒可不瞭解
潘妮
這位先生在騷擾你嗎？
你是沃普？
沒錯
你在用我的發油？
你的發油？
失陪一下
我有話要告訴你 省得你以為我被火車撞了
我長途跋涉……
是為了回來找我老婆
還有六個女兒
是七個
艾莉，他不是你爸 爸爸被火車撞死了
潘妮，住口 你才住口
維南有工作，有前途
他有誠意，你算什麼？
我告訴你我算什麼 我是一家之主
你不能嫁給他
我能，我要，我會 而且是明天
我必須替我女兒打算 她們還要靠我
維南能撫養她們 讓她們學音樂
你唯一能替女兒做的事 就是被火車撞死
你這個說謊……
善變的妓女
喂，客氣點
你不可以罵我未婚妻
是嗎？
你不可以娶我老婆
這傢伙是誰？
他不是我先生
大概是流浪漢吧！
一個沒用的流浪漢
不准你進我的雜貨店
我打賭她還會模仿
虛情假意的女人
絕對不要相信女人
記住我這一點 你跟著我就算沒有白混
好
被火車撞到
對她們來說 事實不重要，現實才重要
有沒有交過女朋友？
我要先把農場買回來 然後再想這件事
對，要有順序
女人是折磨男人的最佳工具
專門讓我們日子難過的
我沒想到你會是一家之主
我是
我是做人成功
可是結果……
怎麼回事？
各位，好好的欣賞電影
我沒有錢，寶貝
我如何能改變
不要……
去尋寶
不要……
去尋寶
那是陷阱
是他們設計好的
不要……
去尋寶
我們以為你是……
一隻蟾蜍
我們以為……
你是……
一隻蟾蜍
不要……
去尋寶
安靜！專心看電影
大家都知道我是農民的朋友
我要怎麼表態？ 開始宰殺牲口？
我們不能那麼做 會得罪支持者
我們哪有支持者
史托奇才有支持者
他真的很會造勢
侏儒、掃把和怪胎
沒話說
了不起的團隊
嘿，我有辦法
什麼辦法？少爺
可以請一個 比史托奇陣營還矮的侏儒
你這個超級大豬頭
我們又不是選舉菜鳥……
搞不清楚狀況
問題不是高矮
最大的問題是 大家都認為史托奇的點子新
他是潮流，我們是歷史
問題是在於認…… 認知
沒錯
就是他讓我們難看的原因
被他打的滿頭包
才不是被他打 是被他猛K
不對，我覺得是被打
我認為你說的不對
不過我就是這麼覺得
我認為更像是被猛K
主啊，請你原諒我
我無法承受你的國度
站穩
我……
快受不了了
我是一時意志不堅
閉嘴，我們得趕快逃
我受不了了
她們引誘我去洗澡
先把我浸到水裡 綁成像粽子一樣
然後交給警方領賞
早就該想到，最毒婦人心
還好我們溜的夠快
皮特，我們沒有拋棄你 只是以為你變成了蟾蜍
她們沒有把我變成蟾蜍
可能是我們弄錯了
我們被賣聖經的暗算 還被雜貨店掃地出門
艾維特，是只有那一間 還是所有連鎖店？
其實，我也好不到哪去
坦白說……
我……
我把寶藏的事招了出來
對不起，我背叛了你們
都是我們哈格瓦家的遺傳
沒關係，皮特
你真是善良，居然還安慰我
是我卑鄙
搞砸了你一百二十萬的計劃
我內疚的要死
沒有關係
你們是真正的朋友
是我的好哥兒們
皮特 我不希望你一直自責下去
我沒有辦法 你實在是太……太善良了
皮特
事實上……
媽的
沒有什麼寶藏
事實上，根本就沒有寶藏
那你從運鈔車 搶到的錢哪去了？
我哪搶過什麼運鈔車
我坐牢是因為 沒有律師開業執政
我非開溜不可
我老婆寫信來，說要再婚
我再兩個禮拜就可以出獄
我沒時間等 她明天就結婚了
現在加上逃獄
我得蹲到……
1987年
我真的很同情你
到時候……
我就84歲
我想他們也會幫我加五十年
聽我說
我們被銬在一起
我只好編理由騙你們一塊逃
對不起
84歲
我只有82歲
你……
你害死我了
我真的很抱歉
84歲
我都老到走不動了
等一下，別打了
噢……
死神
噢……
死神
為何不能高抬貴手
沒人能夠僥倖逃過
天堂地獄由你掌控
死神，聽我祈求
能否明天再拜訪我
是湯米，他被捉住了
天哪！
絞刑
老天爺，我們一定要救他
我會固定你的雙腳 讓你無法躲藏
我會鎖住你的嘴巴 讓你無法哀求
我會闔上你的雙眼
讓你無法抵抗
時候到了，快跟我走
護旗兵
我來帶走你的靈魂
留下你冰冷的軀體
噢……死神
噢……
死神
為何不能高抬貴手
弟兄們
噢……弟兄們
我們聚集在此地
是為了保護我們 神聖的文化遺產
不受侵犯
污染……
不會式微
抵擋有色人種和基督教
基本教義派的威脅
我們立志剷除魔鬼
避免他蠶食我們的文化遺產
還有別忘記我們的女人
在尋求我們的保護
躲避來自黑鬼、猶太人
來自天主教徒……
和那些自以為是的 進化論者的迫害
那不是我的文化遺產
沒錯
那是你們的文化遺產嗎？
不是
因此……
我們要處決一名黑鬼
我從來沒有傷害過你們
我沒有傷害過任何人
湯米
我們來救你了
謝謝你們的好意
不過這次我是非死不可
魔鬼來向我要債了
別傻了，湯米
難道你想被吊死？
我是不想，可是我不想也不行
你聽我說，我有辦法
護旗兵曬黑了
誰讓他們當護旗兵的？
兄弟們，快跑
不要，別丟
不能讓旗子掉到地上
不需要你推我 我自己能下車
我是說我們應該立刻請他
很好的主意 非常好的主意
不是敵人，就是朋友 跟他交朋友
幫忙競選，把他挖過來
權利和財富的誘惑
沒有人能拒絕丹尼老爹
當然不能 憑他的口才
遊說的力量
他叫什麼名字？
競選總幹事？ 對
沃普 維南沃普
維南沃普
那是私人聚會
我們必須從後面溜進去
等一下
不對
誰選你當老大的？
我們聽了你的指揮以後
就一直壞事不斷
我差一點點就被吊死
被火燒到，被皮鞭抽個不停
還有被日曬雨淋……
被變成青蛙
可是只差一點點
連你也反對我？
是這樣嗎？
全世界、全能的主……
現在是你們
是我活該
各位 我是犯了一些策略上的錯誤
只要你們肯幫我
相信我，我有辦法搞定
我可以找回老婆 我們可以離開這兒
丟臉丟到家了
演了整晚的鬧劇
我絕對要逮到那群雞婆
沒看過這麼惡劣的人 比黑人還糟
八成是黑白通婚生出來的雜種
不然怎麼會拿 南方邦聯旗當飛彈？
沒有人會相信我們 真的是合唱團的
不會有事的 讓我找機會說服她
她跟我們走 比嫁給那傢伙要有前途
我夠有誠意
我也有辦法
艾維特，我鬍子好癢
「在獄中」，麻煩一下
B調
是我
我有朋友叫混混巴布
他以前專門吃喝嫖賭
還自己以為自己最酷
我們打算去別州
去尋找新的機會
我計劃好了
不是當歌手，這只是偽裝 我要當牙醫
我有認識人可以弄到執照
現在他在坐牢
我再三勸告他
別玩牌，別丟骰子
現在他在坐牢
巴布喜歡玩牌
這種提議太低級了
我不能在競選中途換邊站
去幫缺乏道德的人站台
道德？ 你這個面有菜色的瘦竹竿
道德是我發明的
你的蛋頭老闆 還在尿褲子的時候……
丹尼老爹我 就表現出正直、高尚了
走開
我不會讓你失望的 帶著女兒跟我一塊走
我再三勸告他
別玩牌，別丟骰子
你來這兒幹嘛？
一定是知道我們免費供酒
到11月你就笑不出來了
丹尼老爹就笑的出來
不是皮笑肉不笑
當然不是，是真正的笑
她們也是我女兒
難道你沒聽過……
他的一生
充滿悲傷
我
獨自一人
滿懷悲傷
我的一生
天哪！是鄉巴佬合唱團
我揮手告別
告別肯塔基
我的家鄉
我生長的地方
他的家鄉
他生長的地方
我的天！他們的人氣真旺
可是他們跟黑人混
等一下
我看大家根本不在意
你們是雜種
你們全部都是
把麥克風給我 把麥克風給我
這些傢伙不是白人
這些傢伙不是白人 更不是唱老歌的
各位先生女士
我剛好知道這群壞蛋……
今天晚上妨礙了 一群暴民執行私刑
是真的
因為我屬於某秘密社團
只是我不方便公開它的名字
讓他們繼續唱 叫他閉嘴
台上的這些人……
他們破壞了我們崇拜的儀式
今晚的音樂會結束了
放屁
各位，請聽我說
這些人褻瀆了燃燒的十字架
你們有完沒完？
而且他們是從勞動農場 逃出來的犯人
我們必須把他們移交給警方
罪犯！
另外，我得到可靠的消息……
那個黑鬼把靈魂賣給了魔鬼
冷靜一點，你們聽我說
是真的
大家安靜一下
你們到底是不是我的支持者
「WFAK電台實況轉播」
你們到底是不是我的支持者
冷靜一點 閉嘴
我是荷馬，小市民的朋友
放屁，放屁
揮淚告別
我的愛人
不敢奢望
再次相見
只因……
我注定
四處流浪
或許我
會客死他鄉
或許他
會客死他鄉
干！機會來了
別擋著我
我只是陌生人
你我不會再相遇
但我們得到
他的應許
你我相遇於
上帝國度
你倆相遇於
上帝國度
太棒了！真的是太棒了
各位先生女士
現場和收音機前的朋友
代表偉大的密西西比州
州長丹尼老爹
感謝鄉巴佬合唱團 帶來的精彩表演
看來本州不喜歡音樂的……
只有一位
就是我尊敬的競選對手 荷馬史托奇
人的品味是無法解釋的
我個人覺得 他對鄉巴佬合唱團……
懷有莫名的敵意
只是因為他們的過去
看來荷馬史托奇 不是那種寬宏大量的人
我和各位一樣
是個不念舊惡的基督徒
如果他們從今以後改邪歸正
沒錯吧？各位
沒錯
我現在宣佈
藉由法律賦與我的權利
他們被赦免了
另外……
在本人第二任的任期中
這些孩子
將擔任我的智囊團
那是什麼意思？
那表示你、我、皮特 還有湯米……
以後要幫州長做事的意思
好耶
現在廢話少說……
為了表達對我的支持
鄉巴佬合唱團 要帶我們合唱一曲
「你是我的陽光」
沒意見吧？
州長，這是我們最喜歡的歌
小子
你會紅
你是我的陽光
我唯一的陽光
你使我快樂
當天空陰暗
親愛的，你不知道
我有多愛你
請你別帶走我的陽光
我看維南沃普是要失業了
也許我可以照顧他一下
幫他找份挖水溝 或者抓野狗的工作
那婚禮取消了嗎？華威女士
是麥吉爾
沒有，婚禮會如期舉行
主角換人而已
我們要重修舊好 再交換一次誓言
程序上的說法
你們一定要來參加婚禮
你們是我的伴郎
戒指已經有了
你的戒指呢？
離婚以後我就沒戴過
應該還在木屋的書桌裡 沒想過會再戴它
維南買了一隻有寶石的給我
現在可以叫他賤價出售
我們不能用他的戒指結婚 你不是說你改了
就是一圈金屬嘛
不必結婚了
那只是形式而已 不必
我們可以陪你回去拿
閉嘴，迪摩 那只是形式而已
我該說的都說了，我數到三
她又數到三
媽的，她又數到三
王八蛋
你知道那間木屋有多遠嗎？
喬治？
嗨，兄弟們
這些小朋友終於逮到 本世紀的頭號罪犯了
看來喬治尼爾遜死定了
是的，我會被送上電椅
我會像沖天炮一樣爆炸
二萬伏特的電流在我身上亂竄
媽的，全州的電都會被我吸光
我的頭頂會冒出火花
手指頭會射出閃電
我是喬治尼爾遜 你們崇拜我吧！
看來喬治又沒事了
殺牛兇手
至少你們有機會 參觀我們家的祖宅
我在家人的疼愛下 度過了愉快的時光
像一級古績吧！ 我家門前有橡樹
還掛了蕩鞦韆……
你說的蕩鞦韆在哪？
路已經到了盡頭了
等一下 走吧！
善惡到頭終有報
不是不報，時候未到
等一下
你們躲的過命運
卻躲不過我
把他們綁起來
你不可以這麼做
沒想到你們會帶朋友來
他只好排隊等了
你們得共用墳地了
你不可以這麼做 州長已經赦免我們了
收音機有廣播
是嗎？
可惜，我們沒有收音機
怎麼會這樣
你
必須行
那死蔭幽谷
這不合理
這不合法
合法？
法律是人定的
沒人
能代你行
你們該做最後的禱告了
必須
行
天哪！
艾維特
湯米，是我們拖累了你
老天爺
我們該怎麼辦？
獨自
前往
主啊……
求你垂憫我們這群罪人
求你……
我只想再見我女兒一面
我和她們分開太久了
我知道我驕矜的罪
我不應該背離你
赦免我
救我們，主啊！
為了我的家人、為了湯米
為了皮特和迪摩
求你讓我再見我女兒一面
救救我們
求求你
你
必須行
那死蔭幽谷
是的
你
必須
行向
那處
獨自
前往
沒人
沒人能代你行
你
必須
行向
那處
獨自
前往
奇跡！真的是奇跡
迪摩，別蠢了 我跟你說過他們要蓋水壩
才不是那樣
我們向神禱告，他垂聽了
總是有巧合
經驗再次證明 你們有多無藥可救
剛才發生的事 有合理的科學解釋
你禱告的時候 可不是這麼想的
任何人都會出現相同的反應
其實他們淹沒這座山谷……
是為了利用水力 來供應全州的用電
沒錯，南方要改變了
電力的使用會越來越普及
舊的宗教迷信都會被淘汰
我們會看到新的世界……
電線將所有的人串在一起
沒錯，就像法國一樣 一個屬於推理的年代
時機剛剛好
湯米在那兒
你抓的是什麼？
你的書桌
紅日西沉
我當跑的路已經跑盡
就像古人說的，匹極泰來
沒錯
老實說我真的很高興……
冒險的生活終於結束了
我該好好安定下來
那很好
戒指的事你是對的
只有這只結婚戒指才適合你
這就是你的戒指
我真的很幸運……
那不是我的戒指 什麼？
那不是我的戒指
不是你的？ 是荷琳姑媽的
是你說在書桌裡的
我說應該在
不對，你說…… 可能在床墊底下
可能在我的薄紗長袍裡 我不記得了
那我就沒辦法了
我們需要那只戒指
問題是戒指在那個 大到離譜的湖下面
是九千公頃的湖
九萬公頃我都不管
湖又不是我弄出來的 當然不是
我數到三 親愛的，別這樣
要把戒指從那灘水裡撈出來 不是鬧著玩的
帶我得勝
齊來
天使天軍
齊來護衛我
庇護我於你雪白的雙翼之下
帶我回天家
庇護我於你雪白的雙翼之下
帶我回天家
[Pounding]
[Men Shouting]
[Men Singing Somber Folk Music]
Men: Huhh!
Huhh!
Get a break, boss?
No break...
Huhh!
Guard: Pick up that hammer there, boy.
Prisoner: Yes, sir, boss.
Huhh!
Guard: Come on, get it! Go!
Huhh!
[Man Vocalizing]
Huhh!
[Whimsical Folk Music Playing]
[Dogs Barking]
[Train Running]
[Train Horn Blows]
Everett: Say...
any of you boys smithies?
Or if not smithies per se...
were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts...
- Aah! - Before straitened circumstances...
forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?
[Train Horn Blows]
Jesus! Can't I count on you people?
Sorry, Everett.
Well, all right.
If we take off through that bayou...
Pete: Wait a minute.
Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Well, Pete, I figured it should be the one...
with the capacity for abstract thought.
But if that ain't the consensus view...
then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Suits me!
I'm votin' for yours truly.
Well, I'm votin' for yours truly, too.
Okay. I'm with you fellas.
[Dogs Barking In Distance]
[Squeaking]
[Squeaking Continues]
Mind if we join you, old-timer?
Join me, m' son.
Join me.
Delmar: You work for the railroad, grandpa?
I work for no man.
Got a name, do you?
I have no name.
Well, that right there may be the reason...
you've had difficulty finding gainful employment.
You see, in the mart of competitive commerce...
You seek a great fortune...
you three who are now in chains.
You will find a fortune...
though it will not be the fortune you seek.
But first...
Old Man: First you must travel...
a long and difficult road...
a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm.
You shall see thangs...
wonderful to tell.
You shall see a... a cow...
on the roof of a cotton house. Ha.
Old Man: And, oh, so many startlements.
I cannot tell you how long this road shall be...
but fear not the obstacles in your path...
for fate has...
vouchsafed your reward.
Though the road may wind...
yea, your hearts grow weary...
still shall ye follow them...
even unto your salvation.
Everett: No, the treasure's still there, boys, believe me.
Delmar: But how'd he know about the treasure?
I don't know, Delmar.
The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities...
compensating for their lack of sight...
even to the point of developing paranormal...
psychic powers.
Now, clearly, seeing in the future...
would fall neatly into that category.
It's not so surprising, then...
that an organism deprived of its earthly vision...
He said we wouldn't get it.
He said we wouldn't get the treasure we seek...
on account of our obstacles.
What the hell does he know?
He's an ignorant old man.
Jesus, Pete. I told you I buried it myself.
If your cousin still has this here horse farm...
and a forge and some shoein' impedimenta...
to restore liberty of movement...
[Gunshot]
Hold it right there!
[Gasps]
You men from the bank?
Pete: You Wash's boy?
Yes, sir. Daddy told me...
I'm to shoot who's ever from the bank.
Delmar: Well, we ain't from the bank, young feller.
Yes, sir. I'm also supposed...
to shoot folks servin' papers.
We ain't got no papers, neither.
I nicked the census man.
Delmar: Now, there's a good boy.
Is-Is your daddy about?
[Chains Rattling]
Hello, Pete.
Who are your friends?
Pleased to make your acquaintance...
Mr. Hogwallop.
My name's Ulysses Everett McGill and...
And I'm Delmar O'Donnel.
How you been, Wash?
Been what, 12, 13 years?
[Sighs]
Yeah. [Sniffs]
I expect you want them chains knocked off.
Wash: They foreclosed on Cousin Vester.
He hanged hisself a year come May.
Pete: And Uncle Ratliff?
Wash: The anthrax took most of his cows.
The rest don't milk.
He lost a boy to mumps.
Where's Cora, Cousin Wash?
Couldn't say. [Sniffs]
[Wind Whistling]
Mrs. Hogwallop up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
She must have been lookin' for answers.
Possibly.
Good riddance, as far as I'm concerned.
[Sniffs] I do miss her cooking, though.
This stew's awful good.
Wash: You think so?
I slaughtered this horse last Tuesday.
Wash: I'm afraid she's startin' to turn.
[Upbeat Folk Music Playing Over Radio]
Pappy: Well, that winds up tonight's...
Pass the Biscuits Pappy O'Daniel Flour Hour.
This is Pappy O'Daniel...
hopin' you folks been enjoyin' that good old-timey music.
And remember...
when you're fixin' to fry up some flapjacks...
or bake a mess of biscuits...
use cool, clear water...
and good, pure Pappy O'Daniel flour.
Well, guess I'll be turnin' in.
Say, uh, Cousin Wash...
I suppose it'd be the, uh, acme of foolishness...
to inquire if you had a hair net.
We got a bunch in yon bureau.
Mrs. Hogwallop's, as a matter of fact.
[Sniffs] Help yourself.
I won't be needing 'em.
[Upbeat Folk Music Playing]
- Man: All right, boys! - [Dog Barking]
Unh. How's my hair?
Lawman: It's the authorities!
We got you surrounded.
Damn, we're in a tight spot.
Just come on out and grabbin' air!
And don't try nothin' fancy.
Your situation is pretty nigh hopeless.
Damn! We're in a tight spot!
What in the Sam Hill?
Pete's cousin turned us in for the bounty.
What the hell are you saying?
Wash is kin!
Wash: Sorry, Pete!
I know we're kin, but they got this depression on.
I got to do for me and mine.
I'm gonna kill you...
Pete: Judas Iscariot Hogwallop!
- You miserable, horse-eatin' son of a... - [Machine Gun Fire]
Damn! We're in a tight spot!
Damn his eyes!
Pa always said, "Never trust a Hogwallop."
Come and get us, coppers!
[Pete Groans]
Lawman: You boys is leavin' us no choice...
but to smoke you out.
Everett: Damn! We're in a tight spot.
Light her up!
Everett: Hold up, boys!
Ain't you ever heard of negotiatin'?
Bet we could talk this thing out.
I hate fire!
Pete: You lousy, low-down, yellow-bellied goat...
Everett: Pete, we got to speak with one voice here.
Careful with that fire, now, boys!
[Gunfire]
Lawman: Light the loft, son.
Aah!
Everett: I hate fire!
Gapped-toothed, carpetbaggin', motherless spawn of hell!
Man: Step back. Damn it. Look out.
Holy St. Christopher!
Get away from that vehicle, chaps!
She's liquid fire!
[Popping]
[Gunfire]
Take cover, boys! That ain't popcorn!
[Gunfire]
[Horn Honking]
Man: Let's get the hell out of here!
[Honking]
Scatter, boys!
Man: Goddamn it!
Get in, boys!
I'm gonna R-U-N-N-O-F-T!
[Delmar Screaming, Pig Squealing]
Come on, boys, come on! Come on!
What are you doing here?
Pete: You ought to be in bed, clump snatcher.
You ain't the boss of me!
[All Screaming]
You candy-butted, car-thievin' so-and-so's!
I curse your name!
Go back home and mind your pa!
[Pig Squeals]
What's the damn problem?
I can get the part from Bristol.
It'll take 2 weeks. Here's your pomade.
Everett: Two weeks?
That don't do me no good.
Nearest Ford auto man's Bristol.
Hold on, now. I don't want this pomade.
I want Dapper Dan.
I don't carry Dapper Dan. I carry Fop.
Well, I don't want Fop, goddamn it!
I'm a Dapper Dan man!
Watch your language, young fella.
This is a public market.
Now, if you want Dapper Dan, I can order it for you.
Have it in a couple of weeks.
Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity.
2 weeks from everywhere.
Forget it.
Just a dozen hair nets.
Well, didn't look like a one-horse town...
but try finding a decent hair jelly.
Delmar: Gopher, Everett?
And no transmission belt for 2 weeks neither.
Huh? They dam that river on the 21 st.
Today is the 17th.
Don't I know it.
We got but 4 days to get to that treasure.
After that, it'll be at the bottom of a lake.
We ain't gonna make it walkin'.
Everett: That's right.
Gopher, Everett?
But the old tactician has got a plan.
For the transportation, that is.
I don't know how I'm gonna keep my coiffure in order.
How's this a plan? How we gonna get a car?
Sell that. I figure you can only have...
painful association for Wash.
"To Washington Bartholomew Hogwallop."
From his lovin' Cora.
"Amor Fidel... is."
Everett: It was in his bureau.
I reckon it'll fetch us enough cash...
for a good used auto voiture...
and a little leftover besides.
Whoo! You got some light fingers, Everett.
Gopher?
You miserable little snake.
You stole from my kin!
Who was fixin' to betray us.
You didn't know that at the time.
So I borrowed it till I did know.
That don't make no sense!
Pete, it's a fool who looks for logic...
in the chambers of the human heart.
[Angelic Singing]
What the hell is that singing?
Appears to be some kind of a... congregation.
Care for some gopher?
No, thank you, Delmar.
A third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite...
without beddin' her back down.
Oh, you can have the whole thing.
Me and Pete already had one.
We ran across a whole gopher village.
[Group Singing Harmonic Gospel Music]
Well, I guess hard times flush the chumps.
Everybody's lookin' for answers.
[Singing Continues]
Where the hell's he going?
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
Delmar's been saved.
Well, that's it, boys. I been redeemed.
The preacher done washed away...
all my sins and transgressions.
It's the straight and narrow from here on out.
And heaven everlasting's my reward.
Delmar, what are you talkin' about?
We got bigger fish to fry.
The preacher said all my sins is washed away...
including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.
I thought you said you was innocent of those charges.
Well, I was lyin'.
And the preacher said...
that that sin's been washed away, too.
Neither God, nor man's got nothin' on me now.
Come on in, boys. The water is fine.
Man: Come on, boy. There, boy.
Good doggy.
[Dog Sniffing]
All right, boys, we got the scent.
[Man Mutters]
The preacher said it absolved us.
For him, not for the law.
I'm surprised at you, Pete.
I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.
But there was witnesses seen us redeemed.
That's not the issue, Delmar.
Even if it did put you square with the Lord...
the state of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed.
You should have joined us, Everett.
It couldn't have hurt none.
Hell, at least it would have washed away...
the stink of that pomade.
Joining you two ignorant fools...
in a ridiculous superstition...
Thank you, anyway.
And I like the smell of my hair treatment.
The pleasin' odor's half the point.
Baptism!
You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers.
Well, I guess you're just my cross to bear.
Pull over, Everett.
Delmar: Let's give that colored boy a lift.
You folks going past Tishomingo?
Sure, hop in.
How you doin', son? Name's Everett.
These two soggy sons of bitches...
are Pete and Delmar.
Everett: Keep your fingers away from Pete's mouth.
He ain't had nothing to eat for 13 years...
except prison food, gopher, and a little greasy horse.
Thanks for the lift, sir.
My name's Tommy. Tommy Johnson.
How you doin', Tommy?
Say, I haven't seen a house out here for miles.
What are you doin' out in the middle of nowhere?
Well, I had to be at that there crossroads last midnight.
Sell my soul to the devil.
Everett: Well, ain't it a small world?
Spiritually speakin'.
Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved.
I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.
Delmar: This ain't no laughin' matter, Everett.
What'd the devil give you for your soul, Tommy?
Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good.
Oh, son...
for that you traded your everlasting soul?
Well, I wasn't usin' it.
I've always wondered, what's the devil look like?
Well, of course, there are all manner...
of lesser imps and demons, Pete...
but the great Satan hisself...
is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail...
and he carries a hay fork.
Tommy: Oh, no. No, sir.
He's white. As white as you folks.
With empty eyes and a big, hollow voice.
He loved to travel around with a mean old hound.
That's right.
And he told you to go to Tishomingo?
Well, no, sir. Why, that was my idea.
I heard there's a man down there.
He pays folks money to sing into his can.
Tommy: They say he pays extra...
if'n you play real good.
Tishomingo, huh?
How much he pay?
All right, boys, follow my lead.
Hello?
Everett: Who's the honcho around here?
I am. Who are you?
Everett: Well, sir, I'm Jordan Rivers...
and these here are the Soggy Bottom Boys...
out of Cottonelia, Mississippi.
Songs of salvation to salve the soul.
Uh, we hear that you pay good money...
to sing into a can.
Well, that all depends.
You boys do Negro songs?
Um... well, uh, sir, we are Negroes.
All except for our accomp... our accomp...
Uh, the fella that plays the guitar.
Yeah, well, I don't record Negro songs.
Man: No, I'm lookin' for some old-timey material.
You see, people can't seem to get enough of it...
since we started broadcasting it...
on The Pappy O'Daniel Flour Hour...
so thank you for stopping by, but...
Everett: Sir, uh, the Soggy Bottom Boys...
have been steeped in old-timey material.
Heck, we're silly with it, ain't we, boys?
That's right.
That's right. We ain't really Negroes.
All except for our accompanist.
[Tommy Playing Guitar]
[Singing Upbeat Folk Music]
[Humming Along Off-Key]
Whoo! Hot damn, son!
I believe you did sell your soul to the devil!
Whoo-ee!
Boy, that was some mighty fine a-pickin' and a-singin'.
Man: I'll tell you what.
Ahem. You come on in here, you...
You sign these papers here.
I'm gonna give you $10 apiece.
Uh, uh, okay, sir, but Mert and, uh, uh...
Aloysious'll just have to sign Xs.
Only 4 of us can write.
Man: That'd be fine.
Ha ha!
Whoo!
Hey, mister, I don't mean...
to be tellin' tales out of school...
but there's a fella in there who'll pay you $10...
if you sing into his can.
I'm not here to make a record, you dumb cracker.
They broadcast me out on the radio.
That's Governor Menelaus...
"Pass the Biscuits" Pappy O'Daniel.
And he'd sure appreciate it if you ate his farina...
and voted him a second term.
Finest governor we ever had in Mississippi.
Pappy: In any state.
Oh, Lord, yes. Every parish or precinct.
He was makin' the bigger point.
Well, ain't you gonna press the flesh, Pappy?
Do a little politicking?
I'll press your flesh, you dimwitted sumbitch.
You don't tell your pappy how to court the electorate.
We ain't one-at-a-timin' here.
We're mass communicatin'!
Oh, yes. That's a powerful new force.
Mm-hmm!
Shake a leg, Junior.
Thank God your mammy died givin' birth.
If she'd have seen you, she'd have died of shame.
Well, hi there! How you doin'?
[Tommy Playing Guitar]
[Tommy Singing Melancholy Folk Music]
Let's bed down here for the night.
Yeah, it stinks in that old barn.
Suits me.
Pretty soon it'll be nothin'
but featherbeds and silk sheets.
Million dollars.
Million-point-two.
Delmar: 500,000 each.
Everett: 400, Delmar.
Pete, what are you gonna do...
with your share of the treasure?
Go out west somewhere.
Open a fine restaurant.
I'm gonna be the maitre d'.
Greet all the swells.
Go to work every day in a bow tie...
tuxedo.
And all the staff say "Yes, sir" and...
"No, sir..."
and "In a jiffy, Pete."
And all my meals for free.
What about you, Delmar?
What are you gonna do with your share of that dough?
I'm gonna visit them foreclosin' son of a guns...
down at the Indianola Savings and Loan.
Slap that money on the barrel head...
and buy back the family farm.
You ain't no kind of man if you ain't got land.
Pete: What about you, Everett?
What you have in mind...
when you stole it in the first place?
[Clears Throat] I...
didn't have no plan.
Well, that hardly sound like you.
Man: All right, boys! It's the authorities!
Your situation is purty nigh hopeless!
Damn, they found our car.
We ain't got the time...
and nary the inclination...
to chat with you boys any further.
Damn, we got to skedaddle.
I left my pomade in the car.
Maybe I can creep up.
Don't be a fool, Everett.
We got to R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
[Laughter]
Everett: Where's Tommy?
Already lit out.
Pete: Scared out of his wits.
Let's go!
Well, hell, it ain't square one.
Ain't no one gonna pick up...
3 filthy, unshaved hitchhikers.
And one of them a know-it-all...
who can't keep his trap shut.
Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark...
I don't intend to dignify with comment.
But I would like to address your general attitude...
of hopeless negativism.
Consider the lilies of the goddamn field.
Or, hell, take a look at Delmar here...
as your paradigm of hope.
Yeah. Look at me.
Now, you may call it an unreasoning optimism.
You may call it obtuse...
but the plain and simple fact is that we got close to...
3 days before they...
[Car Approaching]
Dam that river.
Is this a road to ltta Bena?
Uh... Itta Bena?
Itta Bena?
Isn't that... Isn't that, uh...
Stay on this here road.
Nah, that ain't right.
I was thinking of, uh...
Take this road...
Nah, nah, nah, that ain't right.
Pete: It seems to me there's a road...
cow road that used to lead all the way...
Pete: Well, most of the way.
That ain't right, either.
Hop on in while you give it a think.
Everett: Right. Delmar.
George: Any of you boys know your way...
around a Walther P.P. K?
Well, see, that's where we can't help you.
I don't believe it's in Mississippi.
Friend, some of your folding money has come unstowed.
George: Just stuff it down that sack there, will you?
You boys aren't bad men, I take it?
Well, it's funny you should ask.
I was bad till yesterday...
but me and Pete here been saved.
Delmar: I'm Delmar, and that there is Everett.
George Nelson.
It's a pleasure.
[Spits]
Grab the tiller, will you, buddy?
Hand me that chopper. Ha ha ha ha!
Say, what line of work you in, George?
Ha ha ha ha!
Come and get me, coppers!
You flatfooted, lame-brained, soft-ass sons of bitches!
Ah ha ha ha ha!
No one can catch me!
George: I'm George Nelson!
I'm bigger than any John, live or limp!
I'm 101/2 feet tall!
George: Cows.
I hate cows worse than coppers!
[Groans]
Oh, George. Not the livestock.
Come on, you miserable, salaried sons of bitches!
George: Come and get me!
[Groans]
[Horn Honks]
Come on, boys, we're going for the record.
3 banks in 2 hours!
[Laughing Maniacally]
Okay, folks, hold the applause and drop your drawers.
I'm George Nelson...
and I'm here to sack the city ltta Bena!
He's a live wire, though, ain't he?
George: All the money in a bag.
What are you lookin' at, grandpa?
Pardon me, George...
you got a plan for gettin' out of here?
Sure, boys.
Here's my plan. Ha ha ha ha!
George: They ain't never seen ordnance like this!
Thank you, folks.
And remember, Jesus saves...
but George Nelson withdraws! Ha ha ha ha!
Go fix the auto voiture, Pete.
[Whispering] Is that Babyface Nelson?
Who said that?
George: What ignorant, lowdown, slanderizin'
son of a bitch said that?
My name is George Nelson. Get me?
She didn't mean nothin' by it, George.
George Nelson!
Not Babyface!
You remember!
And you tell your friends!
I'm George Nelson.
Born to raise hell.
[Gasps]
Well, that was some fun, now, wasn't it, George?
Yeah.
Almost makes me wished I hadn't have been saved.
Jacking up banks.
I can see how a fella'd derive a whole lot of pleasure...
and satisfaction out of it.
It's okay.
Delmar: Hoo, dawgies!
Well...
I'm takin' off.
You boys might as well...
keep my... share of the riches.
Delmar: Well, where are you going, George?
I don't know.
Who cares?
[Owl Hooting]
Now, what do you suppose is eatin' George?
Well, Delmar...
they say that with the thrill-seeking personality...
What goes up must come down.
On top of the world one minute, haunted by meekness the next.
Yes, sir, it's as if our old friend, George...
is a alley cat and his own damn humors...
are swingin' him by the tail.
I wouldn't worry, Delmar.
He'll be back on top again.
I don't think we've seen the last of George Nelson.
[Upbeat Folk Music Playing Over Speakers]
Don't be saps for Pappy.
Homer Stokes for governor.
Let's sweep this state clean.
Vote for Stokes, brother.
Aw, shh shh. Hang on!
I'm gonna slap one on here.
Folks, here's my cousin Ezra's niece...
Eudora from out of Greenwood, doin' a little number...
with her cousin Tom-Tom...
which I predict you gonna enjoy thoroughly.
Now, what can I do you for, Mr. French?
How can I lay ahold of them Soggy Bottom Boys?
Soggy Bottom.
I don't precisely recollect them.
They cut a record in here a few days ago...
with an old-timey harmony thing...
with a guitar accompany... accompany...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember them.
Colored fellas, I believe.
Yes, sir, they a fine bunch of boys.
They sang into yonder can, then skedaddled.
Well, that record...
is just goin' through the goddamn roof.
They playin' it as far away as Mobile.
No.
Whole damn state's goin' apey.
Well, it was a powerful air.
Hot damn, we got to find them boys...
and sign 'em to a big fat contract.
Hell's bells, Mr. Lund, if we don't...
the goddamn competition will.
Oh, mercy, yes, we got to beat that competition.
- Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.
[Adventurous Folk Music Playing]
[Delmar Shouting]
[Pete Laughing]
[Laughter]
[Sneezes]
Delmar. Over here.
Do you have the Soggy Bottom Boys...
performing "Man of Constant Sorrow"?
No, ma'am. We got a new shipment in yesterday.
Sorry, but we just can't keep 'em on our shelves.
How are you?
Delmar, come on. Go. Go.
[Playing Banjo]
[Women Singing Softly]
Shut up, Delmar.
[Stops Playing Banjo]
[Women Singing In Distance]
[Gasps] Uhh! Ohh!
Pull over! Pull over!
Guess old Pete's got the itch.
[Singing Relaxed Folk Music]
Howdy do, ladies?
Name of Pete.
Ain't you gonna introduce us, Pete?
I don't know their names.
I seen 'em first!
Ladies, my name is Ulysses Everett McGill...
and, well, you three ladies are about the...
the prettiest...
water lilies, uh...
Corn liquor.
Everett.
My hair!
Look at this.
Pete!
Where the heck are you?
Pete!
We ain't got time for hide-and-seek!
Everett: Now, we ain't got time for your shenanigans!
Sweet Jesus, Everett.
They left his heart.
[Croaking]
[Delmar Gasps]
Aah! Aah!
What the... Delmar, what the heck's got into you?
Can't you see it, Everett?
Them sirens did this to Pete.
They loved him up...
and turned him into a... horny toad.
Pete!
Pete! Pete!
Pete!
Pete, it's me... Delmar.
It's me... Delmar.
Everett.
Delmar, what the...
What are we gonna do?
I'm not sure that's Pete.
Of course it's Pete. Look at him.
We got to find some kind of... wizard can change him back.
I'm just not sure that's Pete.
Everett: You can't display a toad...
in a fine restaurant like this.
Why, the good folks here'd go right off their feed.
Hey. I just don't think it's right...
keeping him under wraps...
like we was ashamed of him.
Well, if it is Pete, I am ashamed of him.
The way I see it, he got what he deserved.
Fornicating with some whore of Babylon.
These things don't happen for no reason, Delmar.
It's obviously some kind of judgment on Pete's character.
Well, the two of us was fixin' to fornicate.
You're gonna have to excuse my rusticated friend...
unaccustomed as he is to city manners. [Snaps]
Hmm?
Everett: I guess we'll have ourselves...
a couple of steaks...
and some, uh, gratine potatoes...
and wash it down with some of your finest bubbly wine.
Oh, and I don't suppose you have any...
[Grunts]
Maybe the chef could prepare...
[Grunts]
Just bring us a couple of leaves of raw cabbage.
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
That kind of barnyard language...
I don't believe I've seen you boys around here before.
Allow me to introduce myself.
Name of Daniel Teague...
known in these precincts as Big Dan Teague...
Or to those who are pressed for time...
Big Dan tout court!
Everett: How you doin', Big Dan?
My name's Ulysses Everett McGill.
This is my associate Delmar O'Donnel.
I detect, like me...
you're endowed with the gift of gab.
I flatter myself that such is the case.
In my line of work, it's plumb necessary.
The one thing you don't want...
is air in the conversation.
Once again we find ourselves in agreement.
What kind of work you do, Big Dan?
Sales, Mr. McGill, sales! And what do I sell?
The truth, every blessed word of it.
From Genesis on down to Revelations.
That's right, the Word of God...
which, let me tell you, there is damn good money in...
during these times of woe and want.
People are lookin' for answers...
and Big Dan sells the only book that's got 'em.
And what do you do...
you and your, uh, tongue-tied friend?
We, uh...
we're adventurers, sir.
Currently pursuing a certain opportunity...
but we're open to others as well.
I like your style, young man...
so I'm gonna propose you a proposition.
You cover my bill, so I don't have to run back upstairs...
get your waitress to wrap your dinner picnic-style...
And we shall retire to more private environs...
where I will tell you how there are vast amounts of money...
to be made in the service of God almighty.
Well, why not? If nothin' else...
I can use some civilized conversation.
Don't forget your shoe box, friend.
Languishin'!
Goddamn campaign is languishin'!
Pappy: We need a shot in the arm.
You hear me, boys? In the goddamn arm!
Election held tomorrow...
that son of bitch Stokes would win it in a walk!
Well, he's the reform candidate, Daddy.
Yeah?
A lot of people like that reform.
Maybe we should get us some.
I'll reform you, you soft-headed son of a bitch.
How we gonna run reform when we're the damn incumbent?
Is that the best idea you boys can come up with?
Reform?!
Weepin' Jesus on the cross.
That's it!
You may as well start drafting my concession speech right now.
Okay, Pappy.
I'm just making a point, you stupid son of a bitch.
Give me back that hat! Hurry up!
Pappy's just makin' a point.
Shut up!
Thank you, boys, for throwing in that fricassee.
I'm a man of large appetites...
and even with lunch under my belt...
I was feeling a mite peckish.
It's our pleasure, Big Dan.
Thank you as well for the conversational hiatus.
I generally refrain from speech during gustation.
There are those who attempt both at the same time.
I find it coarse and vulgar.
Where were we?
Making money in the Lord's service.
You don't say much, friend, but when you do...
it's to the point and I salute you for it.
Yes, Bible sales.
Now, the trade is not a complicated one.
There are but 2 things to learn...
One being where to find a wholesaler...
the Word of God in bulk, as it were.
Two... how to recognize your customer.
Who are you dealing with?
It's an exercise in psychology, so to speak.
And it is that which I propose...
to give you a lesson in right now.
[Branch Cracks]
Why, I like to think I'm a pretty astute observer...
of the human scene, too, Big Dan.
No doubt, brother.
I figured as much back at the restaurant.
That's why I invited you all out here...
for this advanced tutorial.
Unh!
What's going on, Big Dan?
It's all about the money, boys!
Big Dan: That's it!
Gol... durned... money!
I don't get it, Big Dan.
Raah!
I just take your show cards.
Yaah!
[Yelling]
And whatever you got in the hole.
What the...
there ain't nothin' but a damn toad.
No, you don't understand.
That's Pete.
Pete.
You know these things give you warts?
[Squish]
[Gasps]
[Splat]
[Gasping]
End of lesson.
[Whimpering]
So long, boys. Hee hee hee.
See you in the funny papers.
Y'all seen the end of Big Dan Teague.
[Sobbing]
- [Whip Cracks] - [Man Screams]
Where are they?
Talk, you unreconstructed whelp of a whore!
Where they headed?
Aah!
Your screams ain't gonna save your flesh...
Aah!
Only your tongue is, boy. Where they headed?
Aah!
[Dog Howls]
[Men Laughing]
Lump, I.O.
[Gasping]
[Thunder]
Sweet summer rain.
Like God's own mercy.
Your two friends have abandoned you, Pete.
They don't seem to care about your hide.
[Man Laughs]
[Thunder]
Okay.
Stairway to heaven.
We shall all meet by-and-by.
Goddamn it!
[Laughing]
God forgive me!
Hold.
[Thunder]
Believe me, Delmar, he would have wanted us to press on.
Pete, rest his soul...
was one sour ass son of a bitch...
and not given to acts of pointless sentimentality.
It just don't seem right...
digging up that treasure without him.
Maybe it's for the best he was squished.
Why, he...
was barely a sentient being and...
well, as soon as we get ourselves cleaned up...
and we get a little smellum in our hair...
why, we're gonna feel 100% better about ourselves...
and about... life in general.
[Prisoners Singing]
Must be near Parchman Farm.
Sorry sons of bitches.
Seems like a year ago we busted off the farm.
[Singing Continues]
Pete got a brother?
Not that I'm aware.
Heat must be getting to me.
[Horse Neighs]
[Woman Singing Upbeat Folk Music]
[Applause]
That was wonderful. That sure was.
Yes.
Now, I know the Sunnysiders would agree with me...
when I say the great state of Mississippi...
cannot afford 4 more years of Pappy O'Daniel!
4 more years of cronyism!
Nepotism! Rascalism!
Of service to the interests!
Now, the choice, she's a clear 'un.
Pappy O'Daniel, slave of the interests.
Homer Stokes, servant of the little man.
Ain't that right, little fella?
He ain't lyin'!
Ladies and gentlemen, the little man has admonished me...
to grasp the broom of reform...
and sweep this state clean!
It's gonna be, "Back to the flour mill, Pappy!
The interests can take care of themselves!"
Homer: Come Tuesday...
we're gonna sweep the rascals out!
[Applause]
Homer: Clean government is yours for the asking!
[Cheering And Whistling]
Homer: Folks, now the little Wharvey gals!
[Applause]
Wharvey gals?
Did he just say little Wharvey gals?
Come here, girls.
What y'all gonna sing for us?
Girls: "In the highways."
Goddamn it all!
You know them gals, Everett?
[Singing Upbeat Gospel Music]
Hey, girls!
- Daddy! - Daddy!
Ha ha ha!
Daddy? He ain't our daddy.
Hell, I ain't. What's this Wharvey gals?
Your name's McGill.
No, sir. Not since you got hit by that train.
What are you talking about? I wasn't hit by any train.
Mama says you was hit by a train.
- Blooey! - Nothin' left.
Just a grease spot on the L & N.
Damn it, I wasn't hit by any train!
That's why Mama's got us back to Wharvey.
That's her maiden name.
You got a maiden name, Daddy?
No, Daddy don't have a maiden name. See...
That's your misfortune.
That's right, and now Mama's got a new beau.
He's a suitor.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Mama says he's bona fide.
Mmm.
He give her a ring?
Yes, sir. A big 'un.
- Gotta gem. - Mama checked it.
It's bona fide.
He's a suitor.
What's his name?
Vernon T. Waldrip.
Uncle Vernon.
Till tomorrow.
Then he's gonna be Daddy.
I am the only daddy you got.
I am the damn paterfamilias.
But you ain't bona fide.
Where's your mama?
She's at the five-and-dime.
Buying nipples.
[Singing Somber Folk Music]
Daddy!
Hello, sugar! Ha ha!
Everett: How's my little girl?
Hi.
Who the hell's that?
Starla Wharvey.
Starla McGill, you mean.
How come you never told me about her?
'Cause you was hit by a train.
That's another thing.
Why are you telling our gals I was hit by a train?
Lots of respectable people been hit by trains.
Judge Hobby over in Cookville was hit by a train.
What was I supposed to tell 'em...
that you were sent to the penal farm...
and I divorced you from shame?
I take your point.
But it does put me in a damned awkward position...
vis a vis my progeny.
Hello, Penny.
Is this gentlemen bothering you?
You Waldrip?
Uh-huh. That's right.
Hmm.
[Sniffs]
You been using my hair treatment?
Your hair treatment?
Excuse me.
I got news for you.
In case you hadn't noticed, I wasn't hit by a train...
and I have traveled many a weary mile...
to be back with my wife and my 6 daughters.
Girl: Seven, Daddy!
That ain't your daddy, Alvinelle.
Your daddy was hit by a train.
Penny, you stop that!
No, you stop it! Vernon here's got a job.
Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide.
What are you?
I'll tell you what I am...
I am the paterfamilias, and you can't marry him!
I can, I am, and I will, tomorrow.
I got to think about the little Wharvey gals.
They look to me for answers.
Vernon can support 'em...
and buy 'em lessons on the clarinet.
The only good thing you ever did for the gals...
was get hit by that train!
Why, you lying unconstant succubus.
Vernon: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't swear at my fiancee!
Oh, yeah?
Well, you can't marry my wife!
[Baby Fussing]
Unh! Unh!
[Groans]
[Crash]
Who is that man?
[Yelling]
He's not my husband.
Just a drifter, I guess.
Just some no-account drifter.
Aah! Unh!
And stay out of Woolworth's!
[Music Playing]
Woman: I'll bet she does imitations, too.
Everett: Deceitful, two-faced she-wolf.
Never trust a female, Delmar.
Remember that one simple precept...
and your time with me will not have been ill-spent.
Okay, Everett.
"Hit by a train."
Truth means nothing to a woman, Delmar.
Triumph of the subjective.
You ever been with a woman?
Well, I've...
I-I got to get the family farm back...
before I can start thinking about that.
That's right. If then.
Believe me, Delmar, a woman is the most fiendish...
instrument of torture ever devised...
to bedevil the days of man.
Everett, I never figured you for a paterfamilias.
Ohh, yes. I have spread my seed.
And look what it's...
[Music Stops]
Everett: Goddamn it. What the hell's going on?
[Blows Whistle]
[Shackles Rattling]
[Blows Whistle]
Guard: Okay, boys. Enjoy your picture show.
[Music Starts]
[Man Singing Melancholy Broadway Music]
Pete: Do... not... seek the treasure.
Do not...
seek the treasure.
Pete: It's a bushwhack.
They're fixin' an ambush.
Do not seek the treasure.
We...
We thought you was...
a toad.
[Softly] We... thought...
you... was... a toad.
Do not seek the treasure.
Guard: Quiet there! Watch the picture!
Pappy: I signed that bill.
I signed a dozen agriculture bills.
Everyone knows I'm a friend of the farmer.
What do I gotta do, start tending livestock?
We can't do that, Daddy.
We might offend our constituency.
We ain't got a constituency!
Stokes got a constituency!
Well, it's a well-run campaign.
Midget and broom and whatnot.
Devil his due.
Hell of an organization.
Say, I got an idea.
Man: What's that, junior?
We can hire us a little fella...
even smaller than Stokes's.
You slump-shouldered sack of nuts!
Why, we'd look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelys...
breakin' out our own midget.
Don't matter how stumpy!
And that's the goddamn problem right there.
People think Stokes has got fresh ideas.
He's au courant and we're the past!
It's a problem of...
- Perception. - That's right.
Reason why he's pulling our pants down.
Gonna paddle a little behind.
Ain't gonna paddle it. Gonna kick it. Real hard.
Man: No, I believe he's gonna paddle it.
I don't believe that's a proper description.
Well, that's how I'd characterize it.
I believe it's more of a kickin' situation.
[Thunder]
[Gasps]
God... God forgive me.
I could not gaze upon that far shore.
Pete.
[Squeals]
Hold still!
Can't... stand much longer.
It was... it was a mo-moment of weakness.
Quit yer babblin', Pete. We gotta skedaddle.
Delmar: That's all I got.
They lured me out for a bathe...
and then they dunked me, trussed me up like a hog...
and turned me in for the bounty.
I should have guessed it.
Typical womanly behavior.
We're just lucky we left...
before they came back for us.
We didn't abandon you, Pete.
We just thought you was a toad.
No, they never did turn me into a toad.
Well, that was our mistake then.
And we was beat up by a bible salesman...
and banished from Woolworths.
I don't know, Everett.
Was it the one branch or all of them?
Well, I ain't had it easy, either, boys.
Frankly, uh, well, I...
I spilt my guts about the treasure.
Huh?
I'm awful sorry I betrayed you, fellas.
Must be my Hogwallop blood.
That's all right, Pete.
Awful white of you to take it like that, Everett.
I feel wretched.
Spoiling your play for a million dollar point two.
Pete Sobbing: It's been eatin' at my guts.
Oh, that's all right.
[Sobs]
You boys are true friends! Ohh!
You're my boon companions.
Pete, I don't want you...
to beat yourself up about this, eh?
I can't help it...
but that's a-a wonderful thing to say.
[Sobbing]
Yeah.
Pete, uh...
the fact of the matter is...
damn it.
There ain't no treasure.
Fact of the matter is there never was.
But...
So where's all the money from the armored car job?
Never knocked over no armored car.
Sent up for practicing law without a license.
But...
Damn it, I had to bust out.
My wife wrote me she was getting married...
I gotta stop it.
I had 2 weeks left on my sentence.
I couldn't wait 2 weeks.
She's getting married tomorrow.
My added time for the escape...
I don't get out now till 19... 87.
I am sorry about that.
I'll be...
84 years old.
I guess they'll tack on 50 years for me, too.
Boys, we was chained together.
I had to tell you something.
Busting out alone was not an option.
I'm sorry.
84 years old.
Well, I'll only be 82.
You! You ruined my life!
Unh!
You ruined my life!
[Choking] I do apologize about that, Pete.
84 years old!
I'll be going...
Everett: Delmar!
[Yelling]
Delmar: Now, boys. Boys.
[Scuffling]
[Men Chanting]
[Singing Somber Folk Music]
Delmar: That's Tommy. They got Tommy.
[Leader Singing Indistinctly]
Noose.
Sweet Jesus, we got to save him.
The color guard.
Brothers!
Leader: Oh, brothers!
We have all gathered here...
to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage...
from intrusion...
inclusion...
and dilution...
of color, of creed...
and of our old-time religion.
Leader: We aim to pull evil up by the root...
before it chokes out...
the flower of our culture and heritage.
And our women.
Let's not forget those ladies, y'all...
Iooking to us for protection...
from darkies...
from jews...
from papists...
and from all those smart-ass folks...
say we come descended from monkeys.
That's not my culture and heritage.
Klansmen: Yes!
Is that your culture and heritage?
Klansmen: No!
And so...
we gonna hang us a Negro.
Klansmen: Hooray, hooray!
[Klansmen Chanting]
I ain't never harmed you...
Neither of you gentlemen.
Everett: Uh... [Chants]
[Sniffs]
Mm-hmm.
I ain't never harmed nobody.
Everett: Hey, hey, Tommy.
Huh?
Everett: Tommy, we come to rescue you.
That's mighty kind of you boys...
but I don't think nothing's going to save me now.
Tommy: The devil's come to collect his due.
Pete: Don't be crazy, Tommy.
You don't want to get hanged.
Well, nah, I don't reckon I do...
but that's the way it seems to be working out.
Everett: Listen, Tommy, I got a plan.
[Klansmen Gasp]
Klansmen: No!
[Klansmen Murmur]
The color guard is colored.
[Klansmen Shouting]
Who made them the color guard?
Run, boys!
[Klansmen Yelling]
Whoa!
No, no, son!
[Klansmen Gasp]
Homer: Can't let that flag touch the ground!
[Klansmen Gasp]
Ooh.
Heh heh.
[Neighs]
[Women Singing]
Pappy: Leave me alone. Get your hands off me.
I can do this myself. Get away from me.
I'm saying we should hire this man away.
That's a good idea, Pappy.
Hell of an idea.
Can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Have him join us. Run our campaign...
instead of that egghead's.
Enticements of power, wealth, et cetera.
No one says no to Pappy O'Daniel.
Oh, gracious, no...
Not with his blandishments.
And powers of persuasion.
What's his name again?
The campaign manager?
Yes.
Waldrip.
Vernon Waldrip.
Vernon T. Waldrip.
Hmm.
Everett: It's an invitation-only affair.
We'll have to sneak in...
through the service entrance.
Hold on.
Pete: Wait a minute.
Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Since we've been following your lead...
we got nothing but trouble.
I've gotten this close to being strung up...
and consumed in a fire and whipped no end...
and sunstroked and soggied.
And turned into a frog.
He wasn't turned into a frog.
Almost loved up, though.
So, you're against me now, too?
Is that how it is, boys?
The whole world...
and God almighty...
Now you?
I guess I deserve it.
[Sighs]
Boys...
I know that I made some tactical mistakes...
but if you just stick with me...
I got a plan. Believe me, boys...
we can fix this thing...
and I can get my wife back...
and we can get out of here.
[Car Horn Honks]
Goddamn disgrace!
Made a travesty of the entire evening.
Ohh.
What I wouldn't give to get ahold of those agitators.
I mean, whoever heard of such behavior...
even amongst the colored?
Or mulattos, maybe.
I suspect some miscegenation in their heritage.
How else you going to explain it?
Using a confederate flag as a missile...
Crazy! No one's ever going to believe...
we're a real band.
No. It's going to work.
I just got to get close enough to talk to her.
Taking off with us has got more future...
than marrying some guy named Waldrip.
I'm goddamn bona fide.
I got the answers.
Delmar: Everett, my beard itches.
[Applause]
Hey. Hey.
[Applause Stops]
"In the Jailhouse Now," fellers...
neighborhood of "B."
[Song Begins]
[Applause]
Psst!
[Whispering] Penny.
Everett: Ahem.
It's me.
No.
Everett: Honey, honey.
[Singing Adventurous Folk Music]
We're leaving the state.
Pursuing opportunities in another venue.
Everett: I got big plans.
Not minstrels... this here's just a dodge.
I'm going to be a dentist.
Everett: I know this guy who'll print me up a license.
[Yodeling]
[Whispering]
Why, that is an improper suggestion.
I... I... I can't switch sides...
in the middle of a campaign...
Especially to work for a man who lacks moral fiber.
Moral fiber?
Why, you little pasty-face sumbitch.
I invented moral fiber.
Pappy O'Daniel was displaying...
rectitude and high-mindedness...
when that egghead you work for...
was still messing his drawers.
Everett Whispering: Psst! Honey.
[Whispering] Go away.
I want to be what you want me to be, honey.
I want you and the gals to come with me.
What, dear?
What are you doing here, Pappy?
Well, I guess someone let on...
we was giving out liquor.
Yeah, well, you'll be laughing...
out the other side of your face come November.
Man: Pappy O'Daniel will be laughing then.
Not out the other side of his face, though.
Oh, no, no, no. Just the regular side.
[Yodeling]
They're my daughters, too, Penny.
Ain't you ever heard of amor fidelis?
[Singing Upbeat Folk Music]
[Applause]
[Cheering]
[Audience Clapping In Rhythm]
Hot damn! It's the Soggy Bottom Boys!
[Audience Cheering]
Oh!
Audience: Whoo!
Holy moley!
These boys are a hit.
But, Pappy, they's integrated.
Wait a minute.
Well, I guess folks don't mind they's integrated.
You's miscegenated.
Homer: All you boys is miscegenated!
Give me the microphone!
Give me the microphone! Give me the microphone!
These boys is not white.
Hell, they ain't even old-timey.
Look, I happen to know, ladies and gentlemen...
that this band of miscreants here...
this very evening...
interfered with a lynch mob...
in the performance of its duties.
Oh, yeah, it's true.
See, I belong to a certain secret society.
I don't believe I got to mention its name, you know?
Man: Let 'em play! Go on!
Hmm.
And these boys here...
they trampled all over our venerated observances...
and rituals.
Now, this here music is over, all right?
And I have... No! Hey!
Homer: Hey, I ain't... listen to me.
Folks, listen to me. I...
These boys desecrated a fiery cross.
[Whispers]
Man: We was all havin' a good time!
And they's convicts, folks...
Fugitives escaped off the farm.
Now, folks, these boys got to be remanded...
to the authorities.
Criminals!
And I have it from the highest authority...
that that Negro sold his soul to the devil!
Ohh!
Homer: Wait, wait, wait a minute, now, folks.
No! It's true!
It's true.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, folks.
Is you is, or is you ain't my constituency?
Crowd Booing: No!
Homer: Is you is, or is you ain't...
my constituency?
Crowd: No!
[Crowd Booing]
Is you is...
Is you is, or is you ain't...
Homer: My constituency?
Oh, come on, folks.
No. It's Homer now.
Come on. I'm a friend of the little man.
- Ha ha ha ha! - Waah!
[Booing Stops]
Homer: This is not fair!
Hey! Come on!
[Crowd Cheering]
Come on, now, folks...
we got a little misunderstanding here.
Goddamn!
[Singing Upbeat Folk Music]
Goddamn! Opportunity knocks.
Get out of my way!
[Crowd Cheering]
That's fine.
That's fine!
Ladies and gentlemens...
here and listening at home...
the great state of Mississippi...
Pappy O'Daniel, governor...
Wants to thank the Soggy Bottom Boys...
for that wonderful performance.
And it looks like...
the only man in this great state...
who ain't a music lover...
is my esteemed opponent in the upcoming...
Homer Stokes.
Yeah, well, there ain't no accounting for taste.
[Crowd Boos]
He sounded to me like he was harboring...
some kind of hateful grudge...
against the Soggy Bottom Boys...
on account of their rough and rowdy past.
[Boos]
Pappy: Looks like...
Looks like...
Homer Stokes is the kind of fellow...
wants to cast the first stone.
[Crowd Boos]
Well, I'm with you, folks.
I'm a forgive and forget Christian...
and I say if their rambunctiousness...
and misdemeanoring is behind them...
It is, ain't it, boys?
Yes, sir, it is.
Well, then, I say...
by the power vested in me...
these boys is hereby pardoned.
And furthermore...
in the second Pappy O'Daniel administration...
these boys is going to be in my brain trust.
[Crowd Cheers]
What's that mean, Everett?
Well, Delmar, it means that you and me...
and Pete and Tommy are going to be...
the power behind the throne, so to speak.
Oh, okay.
Pappy: So, without further ado...
and by way of endorsing my candidacy...
the Soggy Bottom Boys...
is going to lead us all in a chorus...
of "You Are My Sunshine."
[Crowd Cheers]
Ain't you, boys?
Governor, it's one of our favorites.
Son...
you're going to go far.
[All Singing Upbeat Folk Music]
I guess Vernon T. Waldrip...
is gonna be going on relief.
Maybe I can throw a little patronage his way...
Get him a job digging ditches...
or rounding up stray dogs.
So, is the marriage off, then, Miss Wharvey?
It's McGill.
No. The marriage will take place as planned.
With a little change of cast.
Me and the little lady are going to pick up the pieces...
and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.
You boys are invited, of course.
Hell, you're the best men.
I already got the rings.
Where's your ring, honey?
I ain't worn it since our divorce came through.
It must still be in the roll-top in the old cabin.
Never thought I'd need it.
Vernon bought one encrusted with jewels.
Now's the time to buy it off him cheap.
We ain't getting married with his ring.
You said you'd changed.
Honey, it's just an old pewter thing.
Ain't going to be no wedding.
It's just a symbol, honey.
No wedding.
We'll go fetch it with you, Everett.
It's just a... Shut up, Delmar.
It's just a symbol.
I've spoken my piece and counted to 3.
She counted to 3.
Goddamn it.
She counted to 3.
Son of a bitch!
You have any idea how far that cabin is?
[Music Playing]
[Crowd Shouting]
[George Laughing]
George?
Hello, boys!
Well, these little men...
finally caught up with the criminal of the century.
Looks like the chair for George Nelson.
George: Yup, gonna electrify me.
I'm going to go off like a Roman candle.
Ha ha ha!
20,000 volts...
chasing a rabbit through yours truly.
George: Gol damn...
gonna suck all the power right out of the state.
Gonna shoot sparks out the top of my head...
and lightning from my fingertips!
George: I'm George Nelson...
and I'm feeling 10 feet tall!
Looks like George is right back on top again.
Woman: Cow killer!
[Bell Tinkles]
[Moos]
Well, at least you boys get to see...
the ancestral manse...
The home where I spent so many a happy day...
in the bosom of my family...
refugin', if you will...
With a mighty oak tree out front...
and a happy little tire swing on it.
Where's the happy little tire swing?
Cooley: End of the road, boys.
No. Wait a minute.
Man: Let's go, boys.
Cooley: It's had its twists and turns.
Now it deposits you here.
Wait a minute.
Cooley: You have eluded fate...
and you have eluded me...
for the last time.
Tie their hands, boys.
You can't do this, now.
Didn't know you'd be bringing a friend.
He'll just have to wait his turn...
share one of your graves.
You can't do this.
We just got pardoned by the governor hisself.
It went out on the radio.
Is that right?
[Growls]
Well, we ain't got a radio.
God have mercy.
[Singing Somber Folk Music]
It ain't fittin'.
It ain't the law.
The law?
The law is a human institution.
Perhaps you should start making your prayers.
Oh, my God.
Everett?
Tommy, I'm sorry we got you into this.
Good Lord...
what do we do?
Oh, Lord...
please look down and recognize...
us poor sinners.
Please, Lord.
I just want to see my daughters again.
I've been separated from my family for so long.
I know I've been guilty of pride...
and sharp dealing.
I'm sorry that I turned my back on you.
Everett: Forgive me.
We're helpless, Lord.
For the sake of my family.
For Tommy's sake.
For Delmar's and Pete's.
Let me see my daughters again, Lord.
Everett: Help us, please.
[Clinking]
[Gasps]
[Grunting]
Ahh. Ahh.
A miracle.
It was a miracle!
Delmar, don't be ignorant.
I told you they was flooding this valley.
No! That ain't it!
We prayed to God and he pitied us!
Well, it never fails.
Once again, you two hayseeds are showin'
how much you want for intellect.
There's a perfectly scientific explanation...
for what just happened.
That ain't the tune you was singin'...
back there at the gallows!
Well, any human being will cast about...
in a moment of stress.
No, the fact is, they're flooding this valley...
so they can hydroelectric up the whole durn state.
Yes, sir, the South is gonna change.
Everything's gonna be put on electricity...
and run on a paying basis.
Out with the old spiritual mumbo jumbo...
the superstitions, and the backward ways.
We're gonna see a brave new world...
where they run everybody a wire...
and hook us all up to a grid.
Yes, sir, a veritable age of reason.
Like the one they had in France.
Not a moment too soon.
[Cow Bell Rings]
Not a moment too soon.
Hey, there's Tommy.
Everett: Tommy, what you ridin' there?
Unh! Whoa.
Roll-top desk.
[Adventurous Folk Music Playing]
"All's well that ends well," some poet said.
That's right, honey.
Don't mind telling you I'm awful pleased...
my adventuring days have come to an end.
Time for this old boy to enjoy some repose.
That's good, honey.
You were right about that ring, too.
Any other wedding band wouldn't do.
This here was fore-ordained.
Fate was a-smilin' on me.
That's not my ring.
What? Not your ring?
That's one of Aunt Hurlene's.
You said it was in the roll-top desk.
I said I thought it was in the roll-top desk.
No, you said...
Or under the mattress.
Or maybe in my chifforobe. I don't know.
Well, I'm sorry, honey.
We need that ring.
That ring is at the bottom of a pretty durn big lake.
Uh-uh.
A 9,000-hectare lake.
I don't care if it's 90,000. That lake was not my doing.
Of course not, honey...
I counted to 3, honey.
No, wait, honey.
Finding one little ring in the middle...
of all that water is one hell of a heroic task!
[Girls Singing Adventurous Folk Music]
[Man Singing Adventurous Folk Music]
[Melancholy Folk Music Playing]
[Upbeat Folk Music Playing]