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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
South Park 10x09 - Mystery.of.the.Urinal.Deuce "小便池中的大粪之谜" 字幕翻译 Bi11 双语合成 Lv&daisy
所以, 同学们, 当Joe Lee 反抗回到了Aniston And so, class, that is when Joe Lee countered back to Aniston
说了这样的话 and said things like
- 噢, Mr. Mackey. - Oh hello Mr. Mackey.
所有的女生到外面的大厅 All the girls go out in the hall please?
我要和班里的男生谈谈, m'kay? I need to speak with the boys of this class, m'kay?
男生们, 我们遇到个很严重的问题! Boys, we have a very serious problem!
我刚从男厕出来, I've just come from the men's restroom,
有人在小便池里"放2号"! and somebody went number 2 in the urinal!
什么是小便池? What's a urinal?
挂在墙上用来尿尿的那个东西. A wall toilet for peeing in.
有个混蛋在里面大便! Okay? And some jokester took a poop in it! Okay?
不管是谁干的, 我希望他能马上站出来, Now I want whoever did it to come forward right now,
这样对大家都好! M'kay?! and it will be less painful for everybody! M'kay?!
谁会在便池里大便? 这真是个离奇的犯罪. Who would take a ddump in a urinal? It's such a s-senseless crime.
Mr. Mackey, 我想你应该认为这是个阴谋 Mr. Mackey, I think you might want to entertain that this is some kind of
就像 9-11事件. conspiracy, just like 9/11.
Oh God, 又来了! 9-11不是阴谋, 肥猪! Oh God, here we go again! Nine-eleven was not a conspiracy, fatass!
真的?! 你相信你自己说的话吗, Kyle? Oh really?! Do you just believe everything you're tolk, Kyle?
等等!! 我们别跑题好吗?! Excuse me!! Could we get back to the issue, please?!
你们好像都不知道这有多么严重!! You all don't seem to understand how serious this is!!
到底谁在小便池里排粪的?! Now who made dookie in the urinal?!
你们觉得有意思吗, 呃?! M'kay! M'kay! Oh, you think it's funny, huh?! M'kay! M'kay!
等警察来了你们就知道什么是有意思了! You're gonna think it's real funny when the police get here!
等下, Mr. Mackey, 但是那里根本没有什么证据. I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey, but there just isn't really any evidence to go on.
但是一定有动机! But there must have been some motive.
没有人会无缘无故往小便池排粪. Nobody would just dook in the urinal for no reason.
但是谁会往小便池里拉屎, 而从中获益呢? But who would benefit from crapping in the urinal?
这对我来说谜团太大了. 我们还是请Hardly Boys来吧. Uh this is too big a mystery for me. I think we'd better call in the Hardly Boys.
The Hardly Boys. 两个傲慢的年轻人 解决谜案很有一手 The Hardly Boys. Two young whippersnappers with a knack for solving mysteries.
Hardly Boys 就在: The Hardly Boys in:
小便池中的大粪之谜. The Mystery of the Urinal Turd.
就这样了, Hardly Boys, 我们没有任何头绪, 也无人认罪. So, that's it, Hardly Boys, we've got no leads and nobody admitting to the crime.
这肯定是个谜案. That sure is a mystery.
是呀, 似乎超难. Yeah, it sounds super-hard.
干坏事的家伙一定对学校很生气. Whoever did it must have been angry with the school.
噢... 我像我有线索了. Oh... Oooo... I think I'm getting a clue.
F-..真的? F-really?
是啊, 现在的的确确给我了一个线索. Yeah, this is totally giving me a clue right now.
噢..我也开始有线索了. Oh... I'm starting to get a clue too.
我的线索指向了这边. My clue is kind of pointing this way.
噢.. 我现在有了条总线. Ohhgh. Yeah, now I've got a total clue.
我还有条很狂的线索. I've still got a raging clue.
我的线索指向了那边! My clue's pointing over there now!
那我们跟着这条线索走吧! Oh, let's follow that clue!
他们知道谁在便池里大便了吗? Did they find out who crapped in the urinal yet?
还没. Not yet.
他们不会去查出谁干的. They aren't going to find out who did it.
但是他们会找个替罪羊, 抓起来, 让大家都信就是了 But they'll make up a scapegoat, send him to detention, and make us all believe it.
这就会又像9-11一样. It'll be 9/11 all over again.
能不能别提9-11! Will you shut up about 9/11!
Kyle, 你为什么这么怕事实?! Kyle, why are you so afraid of the truth?!
因为认为 9-11是阴谋的人 都是傻B! Because anybody who thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy is a retard!
真的? 那你知道超过1/4的美国人 都认为9-11是阴谋吗? Oh really? Well did you know that over one-fourth of people in America think that 9/11 was a conspiracy?
你是说1/4的美国人都是傻B? Are you saying that one-fourth of Americans are retards?
对 我是说1/4的美国人都是傻B. Yes. I'm saying one-fourth of Americans are retards.
是, 至少1/4. Yeah, at least one-fourth.
简单举例: 我们四个 你是傻B, 这就是1/4. Let's take a test sample: There's four of us, you're a retard, that's one-fourth.
...有不少人知道真相的, Kyle. 呃 Butters! ...There are soo many people who know the truth, Kyle. Uh Butters!
嘿, 伙计们! Hey, fellas!
Butters, 你认为9-11真的是恐怖分子搞的吗, Butters, do you think 9/11 was just a plot by some angry terrorists,
或是为了掩盖什么? or do you think there was some kind of coverup?
我听说9-11是布什总统搞的. Well, I heard that 9/11 was caused by President Bush.
啊! 看吧? Aha! Do you see?
你从哪儿听的?? Where did you hear that??
从 Eric 那里. From Eric.
本人对案情陈述完毕. I rest my case.
Butters, 你也不信那些, 是吧? Butters, you don't really believe that, do you?
我说, 呃, 你不会知道的. 政府做了些令人毛骨悚然的事情. Well, l-uh, I mean, uu, you never know. Uh the government does some pretty spooky things.
政府和犹太人组织的团伙制造了9-11惨剧. The government and the corporations headed by the Jews that tear down 9/11.
对, Butters. That's right, Butters.
他妈的, 你看看你传播这这些狗屁 带来了什么后果! 肥猪?! Goddamnit, you see what happens when you spread this stupid crap, fatass?!
什么?! 人们看到了真相?! What?! People see the truth?!
我能走了吗? Can I go now?
你们都是瞎子!! You guys are blind!!
我无法相信这里的人 居然轻易相信媒体说的一切! I can't believe that everyone here is just buying into what they're told by the media!
我要去找真相了. I'm gonna go find out the truth.
我要为大家揭开掩盖9-11阴谋的一切! I'm gonna blow the lid off this whooole 9/11 conspiracy once and for all!
噢 别... Oh no...
我问问题有错吗? Is it wrong for me to ask questions?
探索真相有错吗? Is it wrong to seek the truth?
我不能盲目接受别人的观点 I just can't blindly accept their version.
我不能在证据上建立自己的逻辑. I can't base my logic on proof.
尽管所有的证物指向一处, Almost all the evidence points one way,
但是我喜欢 Charlie Sheen 和 Gloria Estefan: But I'm like Charlie Sheen and Gloria Estefan:
我要知道到底发生了什么 I need to know what really happened
在 9-11...11...11...11. On 9/11-leven-leven-leven-leven.
到底发生了什么 What really happened
在9-11? On 9/11?
当然, 如此明了. 我们怎么以前都没有发现? Of course. It's so obvious. How did we not see it before?
这是我的青蛙, 还没有名字. This is my frog he doesn't have a name.
他是青蛙不是蛤蟆, 因为蛤蟆不是兔子 我认为青蛙很适合作宠物. He's a frog not a toad because toads don't ribbit. I think frogs are good pets.
谢谢, Leroy, 感谢你与大家分享你的小蠢青蛙. Okay, thank you, Leroy, thanks for sharing your dumb little frog with the class.
好, 还有谁要来"讲故事"? Okay, anybody else have anything for Show and Tell?
好的, Eric, 你来吧. All right, Eric, you can go next.
为了"讲故事" 今天我带来了... For Show and Tell today I have brought...
...我的震撼 Powerpoint... ...my shocking Powerpoint report on the truth!..
讲述9-11袭击的幕后真相! behind the 9/11 attacks!
噢 天... Oh Christ...
我们被告知说 We are told to believe that the fire
飞机燃料引起的火熔化了建筑的钢筋, from the jet fuel melted the steel framing of the towers,
导致了楼层的坍塌. which led to their collapse.
但是你们知道飞机燃料燃烧 产生的温度并不足以熔化钢筋吗? But did you know jet fuel doesn't burn at a high enough temperature to melt steel?
我们也被告知五角大楼曾被劫持的飞机撞击, We were told the Pentagon was hit by a hijacked plane as well,
但是现在看看这张五角大楼的照片. but now look at this photo of the Pentagon.
这个洞并不够大. 如果飞机撞击, 飞机的其他部分呢? The hole is not nearly big enough. And if a plane hit it, where is the rest of the plane?
哇... Whoa...
现在, 一个必然的问题: "So now, the inevitable question:
如果不是恐怖分子搞的9-11, 那是谁搞的? if terrorists didn't cause 9/11, who did?
记得那里实际是两个楼. Remember that there are in fact two towers.
2减1是1, 1和1 就是 11; Two minus one is one; one one - 11;
2减1是1, 一, 一. two minus one is one; one one,
Silverstein的指挥板上写着9, 就是9-1-1 and there are nine members on Silverstein's board of directors. That's nine-one-one.
9-11. 然后 2 - 1 + 9/11 得到 12, Nine-eleven. And take 2 - 1 + 9/11 and you get 12,
带着我们找到了911袭击的谋划者. which leads us all to the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.
Kyle! Kyle!
我?? Me??
12包含数字1和2, Twelve contains the numbers one and two,
就像昨天厕所里 just like the toilet yesterday where womebody
没有拉1号却拉了2号! went number two instead of number one!
1加2加 911 得 914! And one and two with 911 and you get 914!
丢掉4就是 91! Drop the 4 and it's 91!
刚好是9-11之后的第12天, Kyle的拼写考试成绩! Exactly the score Kyle got on his spelling test twelve days after 9/11!
谁从9-11获益最多?! Kyle! Who has the most to gain from 9/11?! Kyle!
谁搞得大楼倒塌?! Kyle! Who was nowhere to be found the morning the towers fell?! Kyle!
谁在小便池大便?! Kyle! Who dropped the deuce in the urinal?! Kyle!
但是可能最厉害的莫过于 这张2号塔的图片里的证据 But probably the most damning of all is the evidence seen in this photo of Tower 2!
当我放大后发现东西很模糊, When I zoomed in I saw what first appeared to be a blur,
但我用计算机清晰处理后, but when I computer-enhanced it,
你差点就可以脱身, 你这卑鄙的混蛋. You almost got away with it, you sneaky butthole.
嘿 Token. Hey Token.
你..你今晚看比赛吗, Butters. You you gonna watch the game tonight, Butters.
得了得了, 我不会为9-11负责的! 他妈的! All right, all right, I was not responsible for 9/11! God-damnit!
今天学校怎样? Hello bubbe, how was school today?
可怕. Terrible.
学校不总是那样糟的. Oh, come on, school isn't all that bad.
但是, 人们都认为我应该为9-11负责. But, everyone thinks I was responsible for 9/11.
啥啥啥?! Whatwhatwhaaat?!
我们必须做些什么事情! We have to do something!
很明显, 我们的孩子对9-11还很迷惑! It is obvious our children are still completely confused about 9/11!
对, 应该在课堂上再讲一次 Yes, we need to go over it again in the classroom
这样他们就知道了真正发生了什么. so they understand what really happened.
那真正发生了什么? Well, what really happened?
有很有力的证据可以证明 我们所听到并不是真相. There's strong evidence that what we were told isn't the truth.
噢 不 老兄 别啊. Oh no, oh brother, oh God.
对. 你知道在塔底也看到了爆炸吗? That's right. Did you know that there were explosions seen at the base of the towers?
噢 不 天, 那真傻B. Oh no, oh God, that's so retarded.
不管你们信什么, 事实上是有人... Look, what-ever you believe, the fact of the matter is somebody...
在学校的小便池里拉大便, 至今还没有下文! dropped a dookie in the school urinal, and there's still no explanation for that!
Mr. Mackey, 这里有更重要的事情! Mr. Mackey, there are more important things going on here!
更重要?! 你并不是那个, 走进男厕, okay, More important?! You aren't the one, who had to walk into the boys' bathroom, okay,
干完那个, 早早起来, 你知道, after having tuh, to wake up early, you know,
教室休息室又没 没有咖啡, 然后你, there's no, no coffee in the teachers' lounge, and then you,
你走进厕所, 却发现便池里有一大条便便! you walk into the bathroom just to find a big dook laying there in the urinal!
就像在嘲笑你! Like it's laughin' at you!
他说的对! 那粪便可能就是用来掩盖9-11的! He's right! The turd could have been put there to cover up 9/11!
我没说他们之间有关系! No, I'm not saying they're related!
我们怎么知道没有? 我们要敢于提问! How do we know they're not? We need to be brave enough to ask questions!
再也明显不过了, It's obvious that before we go any further,
我们要马上揪出9-11的幕后黑手! we need to find out who was behind 9/11 once and for all!
他可能是谁呢? Who else could it have been?
这对我来说谜团太大了. 我们还是请Hardly Boys来吧.. This is too big a mystery for me. I think we'd better call in the Hardly Boys.
不, 别他妈的- Oh no, not the Goddamend-
The Hardly Boys. The Hardly Boys.
两个傲慢的年轻人 解决谜案很有一手 Two young whippersnappers with a knack for solving mysteries.
Hardly Boys 就在: 世贸中心的阴谋案 The Hardly Boys in: The Case of the World Trade Center Conspiracy.
这是关于他的长短, Hardly Boys. So that's about the long and short of it, Hardly Boys.
曾经两栋大厦矗立在此, 现在已经不见了. There were two towers that stood right here, and they're gone.
没人知道谁该负责? And nobody knows who's responsible?
虽然有理论 但是无法确定罪人 There are theories, but, nobody's certain.
嗯, 谁会从大楼消失获益? Nnnn, who would benefit most from two buildings disappearing?
噢, 我开始有线索了. Ooo... oh, I just started getting a clue.
真的? Really?
对, 我几乎已经有线索了. Yeah, I'm totally getting a clue.
噢, 确实给了我线索. 对, 我现在也有了个强线索. Oh... Oh, that's giving me a clue. Yeah, ye-yeah, I've got a raging clue right now.
我的指向左边. Mine's pointing to the left.
噢 F-, 噢 Frank, 实话说, 我现在有如此强的线索, Oh F-, oh Frank, seriously, I have such a raging clue right now,
我想我们最好跟上它. I think we'd better follow it.
好, 我们跟着你的强线索. Okay, let's follow your raging clue.
神速. Godspeed.
Kyle! Kyle!
老兄, 能不能告诉我 为什么CIA的人跑我家 Dude, do you mind telling me why CIA guys are coming to my house
来问我问题?? and questioning me about you??
我不知道. 好像人们都在凭空拼凑东西. I don't know, dude. It's like everyone's putting pieces together that aren't there.
那你牵扯我来干什么?? Well why did you have to involve me??
这不是我的错. It's not my fault.
行了, 我已经在网上作了大量搜索 All right, look, I've been doing a lot of research on the Web
我找到一个网站可以证明你与9-11无关. and I found an organization who says they can prove you weren't involved in 9/11.
真的? Really?
走吧, 我们走后门, 他们看不到. Come on. We''l go out the back so they don't see you.
我们出发前确认一件事: There's just one thing I need to know before we go:
你不为9-11负责, 对吧? you weren't responsible for 9/11, right?
......老兄. ......Dude.
这就是我要的. That's all I needed.
你可能认为我已经放弃了 找那个在小便池里大便的人. M'kay? Now you might all think I've given up finding out who crapped in the urinal. M'kay?
也许, 也许你认为这是个良性犯罪. And maybe, maybe you think it's a victimless crime.
这, Mr. Venezuela , 这是学校的清洁工. Okay? This, is Mr. Venezuela , the school janitor. Okay?
他是那... 必须得打扫... He's the person... who has to clean up...
那些混蛋拉错便池的..大便! when some trickster... drops a dook in the wrong toilet!
Mr. Venezuela 干的最好的时候 一小时最多挣六块! Okay? Mr. Venezuela makes six bucks an hour at best! Okay?
他家有三个小孩, 他的车几乎不能发动, He's got three kids at home, he's got a car that barely works,
他用锯末清理呕吐物, m'kay, he's gotta clean up puke with sawdust, m'kay,
当他走进男厕 看到肉呼呼的一陀就在脸前! then he walks into the boys' room and sees a big meaty chud starin' 'him in the face!
所以当你在小便池里拉屎, m'kay, So when you crapped in that urinal, m'kay,
你就像脱掉自己的裤子, you might as well have just drropped your pants,
把大粪拉到 Mr. Venezuela 的头上一样! and laid a turd right on top of Mr. Venezuela's head!
你们觉得好玩?! Oh, you think it's funny, huh?!
Mr. Mackey! 抓到了. Mr. Mackey! We got him.
呃? Huh?
我们抓到了干坏事的人. We caught the person that did it.
我希望你能帮助我们 我的朋友应为9-11而被指责 Hi, we were hoping you can help us. My friend is being blamed for 9/11.
啊, 进来吧, 孩子. Aw geez. Come on in, kids.
这并不奇怪. 每天 越来越多的人因为9-11而被指责. It doesn't surprise me. More and more people are being blamed for 9/11 every day.
是吗? They are?
是, 这样就让人们无法看到9-11的真相. Yeah, it a way of keeping people from seeing the real evidence.
我知道这听起来有些疯狂 但是9-11确实是我们政府制造的, I know it seems crazy, but 9/11 was pulled off by our own government,
这样他们就能为打击中东获取更多支持. so they could gain support for attacking the Middle East.
什么? 不 不 不. What? No no no.
我知道这很难相信. I know it's hard to believe.
老兄, 为什么政府袭击自己的大楼? Dude, why would the government attack its own buildings?
这叫反向政策. It's called the False Flag policy.
看起来像是敌人进攻你, Make it look like the enemy attacked you.
让你的市民一片混乱 晃着国旗. Get all your citizens riled up and waving American flags.
你就可以随意的入侵任何一个国家了. Then you're free to invade any country you want.
...那真傻B. ...That's retarded.
仔细看9-11的证据, 你就会发现他们故事中有很多漏洞. Look into the evidence of 9/11 and you'll see there are a lot of holes in their story.
进化论中也有许多漏洞; 但不代表它们是错的. There's a lot of holes in the Theory of Evolution too; it doesn't mean it's wrong.
你们不明白! You don't understand!
政府控制一切. The government controls everything.
媒体, 公司, 他们有权控制想控制的一切. The media, the corporations, they have the power to do anything they want.
这, 看! 读上面的标签! 快, 读啊! Here, look! Read the labels on these! Go on, read them!
代号 234 Code 234
我想它们来自政府的办公室. We think they came from a governmentn office.
这是什么? What is it?
是炭疽. It's anthrax.
炭疽?! Anthrax?!
有一天我们将用此作为证据来和他们对质! Someday we'll use it as evidence against them.
Stan, 我们不能被人发现参与这疯事! 啊, 啊, 啊~~! Stan, we can't be seen with this nutjob! Aw, aw, awww!
为什么, Clyde? 你为什么这样做? Why, Clyde? Why did you do it?
我不知道. I don't know.
你无视整个学校, Clyde! M'kay? You got a whole school here, Clyde! M'kay?
你无视三百多要用男厕的人. You got over three hundred people that need to use the boys' room.
你决定要做喜剧演员, m'kay, Then you decide you're gonna be a comedian, m'kay,
在小便池里努出一条, 让它躺在那里给每个人看! and pinch one off in the urinal, and leave it layin' there for everyone to have to look at!
你认为很好玩, 但别人不是! Okay okay, you think it's funny, but nobody else does!
他们走进厕所看到你的臭屎 They gotta walk in that bathroom and see your rancid dook
像棕色的破布娃娃一样支在便池里面! propped up against the back of the urinal like a brown rag doll!
Mr. Mackey, Clyde的父母来了. Mr. Mackey, Clyde's parents are here.
M'kay, 太好了! M'kay, that's good!
让我们看看你妈妈和爸爸 怎么说你的小屎条! Let's see what your mom and dad have to say about your little poopscapade!
请进. 我正在让你的孩子解释... Come on in, please. I'm just trying to get your son to explain why...
他在小便池里拉屎! he would drop a dook in the urinal!
Mr. Mackey, 有些事情你不清楚... Mr. Mackey, there's something you should know...
打扰下, 我们之间是误会. Eh-xcuse me, there's been a misunderstanding.
请进, 总统先生. Come on in, Mr. President.
总统先生, 我的名字是- Uh, Mr. President, my name is-
闭---嘴----!! SSHHUUDDUUPP!!
你以为我们不知道你的名字?! 我们什么都知道! You think we don't know your name?! We know everything!
我们操纵一切! We control everything!
我们都在非常努力的保守我们和9-11之间的秘密! We've all worked very hard to keep our involvement in 9/11 a secret!
但你们却没完没了的深究! But you just had to keep digging!
真嘀? Really?
你跑不掉的! 人民都知道! You won't get away with it! People know!
人民? 你是说羊民吧. ( 羊民, 原文sheeple, 不看周围事情, 说什么都信的人们) People? You mean sheeple.
我们让他们的大部分都沉浸在喜悦的无知中 We have the majority of them kept in blissful ignorance.
只是一点.. 不足... 来完善... Just one more... leak... to fix...
等等. 你干什么? Wait. What are you doing?
关于我们你知道的太多, 我很害怕. You've been a thorn in our side for too long, I'm afraid.
不, 别这样, 求你 我不研究了. No! You can't do this! Please! I'll stop.
我会关闭网站的. I'll take down the Web site.
- 噢 不! - Oh no! Oh no!
太晚了. Too late.
JESUS CHRIST!! JESUS CHRIST!!
他像猪一样死了. He died like a pig.
有些猪就是学不会. Some pigs never learn.
没路了-. No. Way.
他说的对. 你制造了 9/11. He was right. You DID cause 9/11.
对. 非常简单的引发, 真的. Yes. Quite simple to pull off, really.
我所做的就是在塔底埋了些炸药. All I had to do was have explosives planted in the base of the towers.
9-11那天, 我们假装4架飞机被劫持. Then on 9/11 we pretended like four planes were being hijacked.
当我们真正把他们调回Pennsyvania时 when really we just rerouted them to Pennsyvania,
然后把两架战斗机飞进世贸中心 安放更多的炸药, then flew two military jets into the World Trade Center filled with more explosives,
然后用F-15机枪打死93号航班上的所有目击者 then shot down all the witnesses of Flight 93 with an F-15
就在用巡航导弹炸五角大楼之后. after blowing up the Pentagon with a Cruise missile.
这是世界上和历史上最复杂而又完美无暇的事情. It was only the world's most intricate and flawlessly-executed ever, ever.
...真嘀?? ...Really??
为什么?! Why?!
世上的经典理由--钱. Oldest reason in the world. Money.
塔倒了, 美国羊民都挥舞着旗帜. The towers fell and the American sheeple all waved their flags.
最终我们可以入侵伊拉克, 获得石油, 让我们更加富有. Finally we could invade Iraq, and get the oil which made us all richer than before.
美丽的钱啊, 哈哈哈! Beauutiful money, hahahaha!
...真嘀?? ...Really??
所有的政府部门都参与了? Is the whole government in on this?
我们无所不知无所不能, 再见了! We are all-knowing and all-powerful. Good-bye, boys.
啊呀, 又没射中! Dangit I missed again!
看在老天的份上, Cheney! For Christ's sake, Cheney!
Kyle! 跑啊! Kyle! Run!
灭-了-他-们-! KILL THEM!
同学们注意. Attention students.
显然的, Clyde 不是在小便池里大便的人, Apparently, Clyde could not have been the one who crapped in the urinal,
因为Clyde 5岁的时候有做结肠造口术. 'Kay? because Clyde had a colostomy at age 5. 'Kay?
现在, 干了这难以启齿之事的人还在逍遥. Now, whoever did this unspeakable act is still at large.
男厕从此关闭, The boys' bathroom is closed until further notice,
因为你们有人认为这样做很好... 'cause one of you thought it would be a good idea...
脱下裤子... m'kay, to pull down your pants... m'kay,
屁股放在小便池上... over your buttcheeks over the urinal...
挤出一条巧克力热狗... m'kay? and squeeze out a chocolate hot dog... m'kay?
你们认为很有意思, 呃?! 我告诉你们, 这不好玩... Oh you think that's funny, huh?! Let me assure you, there is nothing funny...
一个舒适, 干净, 放心的便池, 'kay, about going up to a nice, clean, unsuspectin' urinal, 'kay,
脱掉裤子.. 然后..转身... droppin' your pants then... turnin' around...
在小便池上蹲下, 'kay, 也许... squattin' over that urinal, 'kay, maybe...
也许用你的手摆开你的屁股蛋, m'kay, maybe pullin' your buttcheeks apart with your hands, m'kay,
然后拉出一个大恐龙软糖给全世界看. and then layin' out a big fudge dragon for all the world to see.
是吗, 真的很有意思! Oh yeah, that's real funny!
我最终一定要抓到这个狗娘养的! M'kay?! I'm gonna catch this sonofabitch if it's the last thing I DO! M'kay?!
好了我们换乘65路内线公车. All right, now we have to switch over to Interbus 65.
我们成功了. 我们得在18小时内回到家. We made it dude. We should be home in less than eighteen hours.
然后告诉大家我们的所见. Then we'll tell everyone what we saw.
只是...看起来不大对劲. It just... doesn't seem right.
对啊, 我们终于睁开了双眼. 就像第一次醒来一样. Yeah, our eyes are finally open, dude. It's like waking up for the first time.
对... 但你不觉得我们 从白宫跑出来过于容易了? Yeah... but doesn't it seem like we got out of the White House pretty easily?
我意思是, 从白宫里跑出来 人们又都在追你 I mean, it seems like it would be pretty hard to escape from the
应该十分困难才对, White House with everyone chasing you,
但是我们就这样...跑出来了. and we just kind of... ran out.
好了, 也许我们真是十足的混蛋. 你考虑过那些了吗? Well dude, maybe we're just superbadass. Have you thought of that?
嘿, 你还活者, 回来! Hey! Dude. You're alive? Come back here!
嘿! Hey!
不. 求你. 求--你--! No. Please. Pleeease!
到底他妈的怎么了?! Dude! What the hell is going on?!
别杀我! 我只是按他们说的在做! Don't kill me! I, I just do what they say!
谁说的? What who said?
我还要养家, 别杀我! I have a family. Please don't kill me!
我们不杀你啊. Dude, we aren't going to kill you.
老天! Oh God!
这里不安全, 跟我来! It isn't safe here, boys. Follow me!
你又他妈是谁?! Who the fuck are you?!
没时间了! 快来! There's no time! come on!
能不能告诉我们他妈的到底怎么回事?? Do you mind telling us what the hell is going on??
你是谁? Who are you?
我是侦探, 我怀疑你们被双重利用了. I'm a detective, and I'm afraid that you kids have been double-crossed.
你弄清这些事情了? You f-figured this thing all out?
不是我. 我的谜案解决者. 进来吧 Not me. My mystery-solving sons. Come on in, boys.
我的孩子曾经研究谁在小便池里放2号 My boys were researching who went number two in the urinal
在你们学校发现了些奇怪的事情, at your school when they discovered something odd,
给了他们线索. which gave them a clue.
同时给了我们线索. Gave us both a clue.
这条线索带着他们去了一个9-11阴谋组织聚会, That clue led them to a 9/11 conspiracy group party,
他们有了更多的线索. where they got a lot more clues.
我好像每2分钟就有一条线索. I was getting a clue like every two minutes.
我的线索如此之强差点射到Joe. I got such a raging clue that I almost shot clue goo all over Joe.
这些线索指出 Those clues pointed out that
所有的9-11阴谋论都能被合理的反证推倒. all the 9/11 conspiracy theories could be disproven scientifically.
然后 Frank 有了最大的线索. And that's when Frank got his biggest clue.
很巨大噢. It was huuuge.
所有说9-11是阴谋的网站都是政府运营的. That all the 9/11 conspiracy Web sites are run by the government.
9-11阴谋是政府的阴谋. The 9/11 conspiracy... is a government conspiracy.
啊 老天... Aw Jesus...
为什么政府要人们相信是它制造的9-11? Why would the government want people to believe they caused 9/11?
政府要有权, 必须显得能控制一切. For a government to have power, they must appear to have complete control.
让人们畏惧比说服人们更好 What better way to make people fear them than to convince them
他们有能力在地球上精心计划? they are capable of the most elaborate plan on earth?
足够了, Hardly! That's quite enough, Hardly!
别信他说的, 我们制造了9-11. Don't believe what he says, boys; we caused 9/11.
这些都记录在这些秘密文档里, 不过你永远拿不到. It's all right here in these secret documents, but you'll never get them.
我就知道, 你没有制造9-11 你也没有开枪打那人! I knew it! You didn't plan 9/11 and you really didn't shoot that guy!
孩子, 你们不懂. Boys, you don't understand.
人们需要认为我们是全能的 然后我们才能控制世界. People need to think we are all-powerful. That we control the world.
如果他们知道了不是我们制造的9-11 我们将失去控制权. If they know we weren't in charge of 9/11 then... we appear to control nothing.
为什么你们不告诉人们真相?! Well why don't you just tell people the truth?!
我们也那样做的. We do that too.
并且大部分人相信事实. And most people believe the truth.
但是1/4的人是傻B. But one fourth of the population is retarded.
如果他们坚信是我们控制一切, 有着精密的计划, 何乐不为? If they wanna believe we control everything with intricate plans, why not let them?
一件事, 总统先生, 你怎么知道我们在这里的? Just one thing, Mr. President: How the devil did you know we were all here?
我们回家好吗? 这是我们该做的! How come you couldn't just go home, dude? That's all we had to do!
Stan! 他妈的搞什么?! Stan! What the fuck?!
全是计划好了的! It was all planned out!
你一直都知道? 为什么? You knew this whole time? Why?
因为是我. 是我往小便池里拉的大便. Because it was me. I'm the one who took a dump in the urinal.
什么?? What??
坑位都满了我又来不急! The stalls were full and I didn't wanna miss recess!
我不知道会召来这么多麻烦! I didn't think it would turn into such a big deal!
所以你责怪政府?! So you blamed the government?!
并且政府很喜欢接受指责, And the government was more than willing to take the blame,
这样就看起来他们负责9-11! so long as it made them look responsible for 9/11!
天, 现在人人都知道了. Oh man, now everyone's gonna know.
为什么愚蠢的 Hardly Boys 总是善于解决谜案? Why did the stupid Hardly Boys have to be so good at solving mysteries?
等等: Stan 在小便池里大便, 然后联系了911阴谋网站? So wait, wait: Stan took a dump in the urinal and he contacted the conspiracy Web site?
但是阴谋网站又是政府运营的? But the conspiracy site was run by the government?
对. Yuh.
那, 到底谁负责 9-11? So then, who was responsible for 9/11?
你什么意思? 一群混蛋穆斯林人. Whattaya mean? A bunch of pissed-off Muslims.
对啊. 你怎么了, 傻B了? Yeah. What are you, retarded?
看起来这谜案是解决了. 轮到犯人被惩罚了! Well, it looks like this mystery is solved. It's time for the culprit to finally pay!
你在小便池拉屎, 这不好 , m'kay! When you dook in the urinal, it's bad, m'kay!
你感觉怎样... 如果有人到你家, m'kay, How would you feel... if somebody came into your home, m'kay,
脱下他们的裤子, 在你妈面前留下大泥猴? pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face?
你认为很有意思, 呃? 是, 确实很有意思! Oh you think that's funny, huh?! Yeah, that's real funny!