ladies and gentlemen Garfield and
friends
[Music]
today is hit a duck in the face with a
lemon meringue pie day we'll explain
later
[Music]
you know Penelope I never dreamed I'd
find a girl who lived in an Italian
restaurant would you like more garlic
bread Garfield
yes yes absolutely would you like some
more linguini definitely yes
how about you our pizza it's yes of
course Garfield I was thinking do you
think you and I might get married
something yes
positively oh he's so happy together
forever and ever forever and ever
I'm gonna go get more lasagna for my
husband-to-be
husband-to-be what'd I say I thought she
said do you think we might get marinara
someday here you go my little pussycat
oh I have never seen anyone eat it the
way your little friend does sorry but I
have another appointment where does the
time go well it's been nice seeing you
but I don't want to wear out my welcome
goodbye I'll take this to go Thanks
you do not understand men is that it
when you get to be my age you will find
that a man is like an elephant fun until
you have to clean up after them
[Music]
hmm I'm not here you didn't see me but
you have no idea where I am but I'm
never coming back
how do you expect me to read your poem
phew keep squirming you like that
Garfield said he was gonna marry me and
then he ran off like that I don't know
what to think your heart the light is
very strong and your relationship line
intersects it right here hmm would it be
like to be mrs. Garfield cat your friend
that what is his name of Garfield oh he
is very much afraid of a commitment but
that is how it is with a great many men
do you Penelope pussycat take this cat
Garfield as your husband to have and to
hold to feed and to feed in sickness and
in health at breakfast lunch and dinner
and between meals I do and do you
Garfield
Darvill has anyone seen the groom let me
go I will do it it can't make me Humane
Society now Garfield do you take this
cat Penelope as your wife to have and to
hold for richer or for poorer in
sickness or in health till death do you
part
Garfield aren't you gonna answer him I'm
holding out for better terms ah but I
see that your domestic skills will take
over and you will make a good dog
Penelope phone Penelope your biscuits
are done Penelope front door Penelope
the floor needs vacuuming matter of fact
it really needs repainting isn't it
about time to harvest that garden you
plant it
Garfield what would you like for dinner
suggest something applesauce asparagus
bacon baked beans barbecue ribs barley
mushroom soup beef stew beets
breadsticks broccoli cannelloni carrots
cashew shrimp catfish coffee caviar
celery cheese dip cherries chili Chop
Suey chow mein clam chowder coffee
coleslaw consonant corn muffins cold
good that should be enough for dinner
what but leave out the consomme I have
to watch my diet now Penelope this last
line here is a long one it is for the
children you will have children yes many
children I see you having a very large
family oh no it's three o'clock school's
out
[Music]
did I know just the here a cat the
scream mama yes the Papa buddy's all
right
he was just our little could never be
learning that she is not is ready to be
yours grown up but she thought she was
no no no no Penelope no you never said
anything about your mother coming to
live with us before we got married
but Garfield dear I just assumed
no no Penelope marry that face of a goon
I seem to be making a bad first
impression well we'll have to whip it
into shape
alright son-in-law drop and give me 20
but I never now no what does he do
what does he do well um he sleeps a lot
and eats lasagna I mean for a livin he's
gonna have to get a job he has to
support you and me and your brother al
and his wife of three kids and all your
cousin its who know what do you think
you're doin
forget the push-ups I'm taking up
long-distance running bye you come back
here come back and get a job get to job
Oh
oh I've got to find Penelope and tell
her I can't marry her Garfield okay
Penelope I'm sorry I didn't mean to
break your heart but I can't marry you
it just wouldn't work you mean you don't
wanna get married oh but we can still be
friends even if I don't want to get
married now oh absolutely
even if I never want to get married
definitely and even if I move out of the
back of the pizzeria and there's no more
free Italian food
[Music]
positively Oh Garfield that's the nicest
thing you've ever said to me well I mean
you wouldn't really move out would you
[Music]
ever have a day when you're not sure
which side of the looking glass you're
on okay it's time for your bedtime story
chicks oh I hope it's better than last
night I forgot I was last night
he read to us out of the post-office it
code directory anyway I found a real
story for tonight The Tortoise and the
hare oh I know that one boring hmm once
upon a time there was a hare who made
fun of a tortoise boy are you slow said
the hare if you think you're so fast
said the tortoise let's have a race wake
me up when we get to the slow and steady
wins the race part I'll ignore that so
later that day they set up a race mr.
Fox fired the starting signal and the
hare took off he zoomed ahead of mr.
tortoise
he got so far ahead that he decided he
could stop and take a nap so he went to
sleep under a big shady tree well while
he was sleeping The Tortoise kept on
walking as fast as his little tortoise
legs would carry him by and by the
heroine and suddenly he remembered the
race he jumped up and ran as fast as he
could but it was too late he got there
just in time to see the tortoise cross
the finish line the end okay now what's
the moral of this story never bet on a
stupid hair don't be a knight with
outsourcing yeah
we're not blaming you because your story
was a snooze and a half oh I suppose you
could do better we thought you'd never
ask
hey what's going on here we're gonna
rewrite the story we're gonna show you
how it should be done for today
today's kids first think this hero is oh
hello
he's supposed to be slow he's a tortoise
that's the point of the story
so heroes are boring let's make it into
a ninja tortoise and what a stupid idea
you're right who would ever watch a show
about one of them let's make him a space
tortoise and we'll put him on a planet
where he can meet lots of dinosaurs
dinosaurs why do you need dinosaurs
what's the kid Shelley's days without
dinosaurs get weather doors now we got
to do something about this hair whitey
got it
let's make him an emo spacelord yeah
good idea
and he can run from a secret lab on the
planet Clarion guys I really think
you're getting carried away with hey we
listen to your story sorry I know how we
can start our version the space tortoise
was engaged in combat with a dinosaur
one day good back you infernal beast
from out of time
when their care master of space and time
set a holographic projection to mock him
sure you fancy yourself a wire do you
taught us but you are not Swift enough
to pose a threat to me but I am honest
if you do not believe me let us settle
it with a race and let us say that the
winner will get hmm what should the
winner get how about a quickie it's
gotta be something bigger than that I
know the hare says the winner gets
absolute mastery of all time and space
total absolute control of the entire
universe for all the eternity and the
cookie anyway the two of them running
their space class for the race at stake
is the control of the entire universe
past and present
[Music]
and a cookie the interplanetary
gatekeeper gives the signal to commence
the race
in no time at all here's craft is
entering hyperspace
traveling at ten times the speed of
light while the tortoise flies as fast
as his ship will allow it looks bad for
the tortoise hmm this was such a nice
simple story within milliseconds there
is light years ahead that tortoise is a
galaxy behind me soon I will have the
entire universe and cookie the hare is
so far ahead that he decides to stop on
the planet data blue and catch a quick
nap little realizing that beta blues
greater gravity would low him into a
deeper sleep giving the tortoise a
chance to get ahead this is gonna be a
mean ending I wish I could be there when
they get to the finish line well you can
be if you'd like how you're imagining
this whole story you could just imagine
us into it
just imagine up some space wardrobe for
all of us and imagine us into a rocket
and here we are in outer space
hey that's meat where's the war mom he's
still taking a nap on Planet bade abbu
where he wakes up realizing he's
overslept and quickly hurled the ship
into super
Ultra speed hyperspace overdrive is the
tortoise about to cross the finish line
no in fact the tortoise isn't gonna win
that's not the way the story's supposed
to end it's worse than that guys the
hare spaceship is heading directly at us
quick put us in the super overdrive it
doesn't matter they're all made up
anyway okay we'll say it's this one good
work children
look we're nearing the finish line
[Music]
what this means hunger we all the entire
universe we are the masters of all space
and time
hey wait a minute what about me yo
cookie mmm chocolate chip my favorite
[Music]
good evening Jenny's and littleman and
now direct from the dinner table the
back fence repair Ettore company has
pleased to present garfield and his
garbage can and tin can alley review
let's really hear it for us well it's
the Garfield garbage can attend Pan
Alley review give us a chance well sing
and we'll dance for an evening or two
we've got a silly doggy with the latest
trick kissing so cute it's gonna make a
you sick it's enough to make you move
away to Kalamazoo far from the Garfield
garbage can attempt at a leery year
[Applause]
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
yes it's the Garfield garbage can attend
finale review critics agree it merits a
D and it smells like a zoo we've got a
stupid kitten and a stupid Cup take it
you're wide awake until the Sun comes up
in the whole wide world you must have
something better to do and watch the
Garfield garbage can attend finale
review
thank you thank you and now for those of
you who like magic
oh yeah you want to do an act mm-hmm
okay you got him keep it short
Oh
starlight and dewdrops are waiting for
thee
so hey
[Applause]
and now the pussycat of prestidigitation
the feline of the fantastic a nice
welcome for the Queen
thank you thank you and now I
linguini will perform my incredible
vanishing act observe we will start by
making this ordinary tuna sandwich on
rye disappear and now for the next item
I will make this hotdog disappear
thinking yes I'm you're thinking now
after I finish something in order
I need vanish this taco huh difficult at
all Oh Entertain You and now and now I'm
number by me nermal the show needs a big
finish get in the box
what are you gonna do Garfield I don't
trust you
no have I ever lied to you know what and
have two of you you want to be part of
the show don't ya whoa what then get in
the box
don't you want to see nermal get in the
box
[Applause]
okay that's it I've had enough of this
hmm
are you sure about this Garfield trust
me nerve the crowd will love it all
right now we're going to make nermal
disappear everyone count one two three
here we go all stamped and addressed Abu
Dhabi
thank you
no you're too kind
thank you thank you I've had enough of
this I'm trying to get to sleep and
you're out here all night singing and
dancing I keep hearing that song over
and over
it's the Garfield garbage can and Tin
Pan Alley revue
I gave us a chance will whatever the
words are for an evening or two Hey
all right pal that's enough huh look
we've been getting calls all night as
somebody causing a disturbance in this
alley oh that wasn't me that was my cat
and all these animals here see it was my
jam my cat was dancing see and singing
are filled
show him how you dance and sing show him
your act meow
look what he did he was singing and
dancing and doing magic tricks yeah yeah
sure show it to the sergeant downtown
it's show time again folks oh it's the
Garfield garbage can attempt an alley
reveal won't stop the show if you should
throw on a slipper show if you think
that we're annoying John you might be
right I will do the show from your
backyard tomorrow night then your
neighbors will throw rotten fruit and
languages you
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you
[Music]