来自特洛马维尔的问候。 Greetings from Tromaville.
让我带你回去吧 Let me take you back,
回到一切开始的地方... back to where it all began...
到一个小镇 to a small town
在新泽西州。 in New Jersey.
当时，特罗马维尔核电站 At that time, the Tromaville nuclear power plant
经历了一次可怕的崩溃， had a horrifying meltdown,
污染了特罗马维尔高中的供水， tainting the water supply of Tromaville High School,
不小心找到的 which was carelessly located
就在隔壁。 right next door.
发生了令人发指的突变， Heinous mutations occurred,
改变学生群体 transforming the student body
进入辐射生物和白痴。 into radiated creatures and cretins.
好吧，并不是每个学生都变得邪恶。 Well, not every student turned evil.
我们的英雄沃伦和克丽丝拯救了世界 Our heroes Warren and Chrissy saved the day
炸毁核电站 by blowing up the nuclear power plant
以及其中的学校， and the school therein,
消除邪恶 eliminating evil
并使事情恢复正常。 and setting things back to normal.
哦，还发生了一些其他事情。 Oh, and some other stuff also happened.
但今天，自从批评核电 But today, since criticizing nuclear power
不再流行，至少在电影中， is no longer in vogue, at least in movies,
特罗马维尔核电站已被推土机推平 the Tromaville nuclear power plant has been bulldozed
为环保让路， to make way for the environmentally friendly,
注重健康，Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc, health-conscious,Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc,
直接建在顶部 built directly on top
的旧核电站。 of the old nuclear plant.
可能会出什么问题？ What could go wrong?
这不是典型的翻拍。 This is no typical remake.
我想要你加入我 I want you to join me
当我们“重返 Nuke \'Em High”时！ as we "Return to Nuke 'Em High"!
哦，顺便说一句，精益求精！ Oh, by the way, excelsior!
太热了。 That's hot.
你的维纳感觉就像在翻来覆去 Your wiener feels like it's flopping around
就像一条没有氧气的鱼。 like a fish without oxygen.
你正在和约翰一起钓鱼，宝贝。 You're fishing with John, baby.
你叫约翰？ Your name's John?
不，是吉尔，但又怎样。 No, it's Gil, but whatevs.
我的天啊... O... M... G...
用你的鱼鸡鸡操我，吉尔！ fuck me with your fish dick, Gil!
哦！有东西抓住了我。 Oh! Something's got me.
- 我找到你了，宝贝。 - 不，不。 - I got you, baby. - No, no.
你的盒子……它在咬我。 Your box... it's biting me.
无论你在做什么，我都会感到很热。 Whatever you're doing, it's getting me hot.
不，不要停下来。 No, don't stop.
什么样的神...？ What kind of god...?
呃。 Eh.
Tromorganic 员工请注意， Attention, Tromorganic employees,
请停止跳舞和表现愚蠢。 please stop dancing and acting goofy.
总裁兼首席执行官赫兹考夫 President and CEO Herzkauf
很快就会进行检查。 will be making his inspection shortly.
现在听着，小伙子，我想要我的超便宜食品 Now look, laddie, I want my ultracheap foodstuffs
新泽西州的每所学校都以高价出售。 in every school in New Jersey at inflated prices.
这是我们计划的基础，你也知道这一点。 That is the basis of our plan, and you know it.
没有快餐店会再接受我的食物了。 No fast-food place will take my food anymore.
唔？ Hmm?
该死的！ God damn it!
现在你……你，韦斯特利，作为豚鼠特许学校的校长…… Now you... you, Westly, as principal of the guinea pig charter school...
- 先生，总统正在通话！ - 给我那个。 - Sir, the president's on the line! - Give me that.
哦！你为什么这么做？ Oh! Why do you do that?
是的，总统先生。 Yes, Mr. President.
- 已断开连接。 - 我会把他找回来！ - Disconnected. - I'll get him back!
现在这个流氓学生博客 Pollution Nerdz 到底是怎么回事？ Now what is all this about a rogue student blog, Pollution Nerdz,
谈论我的食品污染地下水 talking about my foodstuffs contaminating the groundwater
还毒害学生？ and poisoning the students?
这是诽谤。这可能是真的。 It's slanderous. And it may be true.
如果消息传出去，我们就完蛋了。 If word got out, we'd be ruined.
我把他找回来了！ I got him back!
我要...给我那个。给我那个。 I'm going to... give me that. Give me that.
是的，总统先生。 Yes, Mr. President.
哦，一切都进展得很顺利……很顺利。 Oh, everything is just going beautifully... beautifully.
听着，总有……总会有…… Look, there's... there's always gonna...
每所学校总会有一个扎克伯格。一切都很好。 There's always gonna be a Zuckerberg in every school. Everything's fine.
是的。我会在哈瓦那见。 Yes. And I'll see you in Havana.
是的，我会去找妓女。别带米歇尔来。 Yeah, I'll get the hookers. Don't bring Michelle.
- 有什么问题吗，老板？ - 一切都很好。 - Something wrong, boss? - Everything is fine.
你只要注意纺纱大​​师给我们的那句口号： You just pay attention to that slogan the spinmasters gave us:
“传播就是健康”，“传播就是健康”。 "Propagation is health.","Propagation is health."
并确保...确保特罗马维尔高中的学生 And make sure... make sure those students at Tromaville High School
很喜欢它！很喜欢它！ are loving it! Are loving it!
- 哦，伙计。 - 你想要什么？ - Oh, man. - What do you want?
老板，这个普拉斯蒂炸玉米饼混合食品看起来不太对劲。 This Plasti taco mix foodstuff don't look right, boss.
那么，你想走向绿色，不是吗？ Well, you want to go green, don't you?
对我来说它看起来是绿色的。 It looks green to me.
过来吧，你这个混蛋。把我的牛奶给我。 Get over here, you bastard. Give me my milk.
给我那个。给我那个。 Give me that. Give me that.
啊! Ah!
我看起来很破烂吗，宝贝？ Do I look ripped, babe?
哦，是的。 Oh, yeah.
是的。 Yeah.
哦-嗬-嗬-嗬。 Oh-ho-ho-ho.
他要做什么？ What's he gonna do?
- 他要做什么？ - 他要做什么？ - What's he gonna do? - What's he gonna do?
- 哦哦。 - 哦哦。 - Ohh-hh. - Ohh-hh.
呃，尤金。 Uh, Eugene.
尤金. Eugene.
呃，尤金。 Uh, Eugene.
尤金.尤金！ Eugene. Eugene!
它是什么？ What is it?
呃，现在是这个月的这个时候 Uh, it's that time of the month
那是一部恐怖电影，所以... and it's a horror movie down there, so...
再次？ Again?
这就是你上周所说的。 That's what you said last week.
你知道，我因为所有的卫生棉条而患上了中毒性休克综合症。 You know, I have toxic shock syndrome from all the tampons.
而且我还头疼，所以... And I got a headache, so...
看，克丽丝， Look, Chrissy,
我觉得你超级性感 I think you're super sexy
以一种粗俗的方式， in a butch kind of way,
这很奇怪，因为这说明了我什么？ which is weird, because what does that say about me?
但我们一直在谈论 But we've been talking
关于甜蜜、流汗、 about having sweet, sweaty,
肮脏，变态，真的很奇怪， dirty, kinky, really weird,
搞砸的青少年性行为 fucked-up teenage sex
在我的大而蓝色的地方， in my big, blue,
白色奶油色皮革座椅，埃尔多拉多几个月了 white-cream-leather-seat,El Dorado for months now
这就是我得到的全部？ and this is all I get?
你一定是在开玩笑吧！ You have to be kidding me!
至少你们这些女人不会让我失望。 At least you broads won't let me down.
哦，我真的需要再订阅一次。 Oh, I really need to get another subscription.
啊！哦，你错过了。 Argh! Oh, you're missing out.
你真的错过了。你不知道。 You're really missing out. You have no idea.
啊！ Argh!
小心，特罗马维尔高中。 Look out, Tromaville High.
新来的女孩来了。 Here comes the new girl.
哦。 Oh.
嘿，新来的女孩，看看这些奶子。 Hey, new girl, look at these titties.
他们比你的大。 They're bigger than yours.
你想和我一起去参加舞会吗？ You want to go to the prom with me?
你要去哪里？ Where you going?
她有什么事？ What's her deal?
我不知道，但她很热。 I don't know, but she is hot.
她是个有钱的婊子。 She's a rich bitch.
你他妈怎么知道，小阴茎？ How the fuck would you know, micro phallus?
同学们注意了。 Attention, students.
请将所有物品倒入塑料托盘中 Please empty all items into the plastic tray
在通过金属探测器之前。 before passing through the metal detector.
我们已经三天没有发生枪击事件了。 We've gone three days without a shooting.
让我们继续保持下去。 Let's keep it up.
快点。 Come on.
她住在特罗马维尔高地。 She lives in Tromaville Heights.
我爸爸把他们的麦克豪宅卖给了她的家人 My dad sold her family their McMansion,
有点像你住的那个 kind of like the one you live in,
玛丽莲·麦克曼森。 Marilyn McManson.
你这个混蛋。 You twat.
感谢上帝赐予左洛复和旧货店。 Thank God for Zoloft and thrift stores.
请你拉这个好吗？ Would you pull this, please?
求你了，求你了，求你了，放手，放手，放手。 Please, please, please, let go, let go, let go.
来吧，伙计们，我们走吧。 Come on, guys, let's go.
哦。 Oh.
教皇退休了。 The pope retired.
去你的。 Fuck you.
哦。 Oh.
我很抱歉。我真的没有... I am so sorry. I really didn't...
一个马屁精的富家女在校内打乒乓球迟到了？ A brownnosing little rich girl late for intramural Ping-Pong?
周三有乒乓球比赛。 Ping-Pong is on Wednesdays.
今天是星期一。 Today is Monday.
不过，我对一件事是正确的，麦莉·赛勒斯： I am right about one thing, though, Miley Cyrus:
你是个马屁精的小富家女。 you are a brownnosing little rich girl.
看起来像妈妈和爸爸 Looks like,Mommy and Daddy
这次是无法让你免于挨打了。 won't be able to save you from a beating this time.
你知道吗？我们中的一些人 You know what? Some of us
实际上对我们的未来有计划 actually have plans for our future
不涉及酗酒、拖车公园或食品券。 that don't involve binge drinking, trailer parks or food stamps.
噢！他妈的！ Ow! Fuck!
我要抓到你了，富家女。 I'm gonna get you, rich girl.
噢。 Ow.
凯文，我回来了！ Kevin, I'm home!
我爱你，凯文。 I love you, Kevin.
我知道你永远不会离开我。 I know you'll never leave me.
有钱真好 It's great being rich
并养一只鸭子作为宠物。 and having a duck as a pet.
好的，是时候看看我的博客了 Okay, time to check my blog
看看我睁开了多少双眼睛 and see how many eyes,I've opened up
我对 Tromorganic 农场的调查 with my investigation of Tromorganic Farms.
我的天啊！ OMG!
18 次整页浏览。 18 whole page views.
已有18人签到。 18 people have checked in.
多么一个月啊。我需要更多带宽。 What a month. I'll need more bandwidth.
以下是一些独家照片 Here are some exclusive photos
来自会员 from member
喉咙更深。 Deeper Throat.
Tromorganics 不仅偷偷混入 Not only does Tromorganics secretly mix in
看起来像是加糖的壁纸糊， what appears to be sweetened wallpaper paste,
但被污染的地下水 but the contaminated groundwater
无处不在。 is everywhere.
被污染的... The contaminated...
污染... contamination...
一... um...
网络不适。 Cyber malaise.
疲倦。 Tiredness.
性欲旺盛。 Horniness.
那个网站在哪里 Where is that one site
和那个看起来像《Gia》中的安吉丽娜·朱莉的小妞？ with that chick that looks like,Angelina Jolie in "Gia"?
大奖 Jackpot
所有人都登上皮船前往金枪鱼镇。 All aboard the skin boat to tuna town.
亲爱的，这里一切都好吗？我听到哭声。 Is everything okay in here, dear? I heard crying.
是的，蜜蜂阿姨。 Yeah, Aunt Bee.
我只是感觉有点... I'm just feeling a little...
为成为孤儿而悲伤？ Sad about being an orphan?
既然你提到了。 Now that you mention it.
不，不是这样。 No, that's not it.
我打赌我知道那是什么。 I bet I know what it is.
- 你做？ - 嗯，我当然知道。 - You do? - Well, of course I do.
别担心，亲爱的。总有一天你会找到合适的男孩。 Don't worry, honey. Someday you'll find the right boy.
正确的男孩，是的。 The right boy, yeah.
你不用担心， And don't you worry,
他不会是个赖账的人 he won't be some deadbeat
像你臭爸爸一样吸山羊， goat sucker like your stinking father,
那个混蛋。 that twat.
那是什么？ What's that?
看起来像 Looks like
铺垫？ foreshadowing?
晚餐时间为 7:00。是金枪鱼。 Dinner's at 7:00. It's tuna.
上帝啊，请 Please, God,
带我离开这个特罗马维尔洞。 get me out of this,Tromaville hole.
啊。 Ugh.
不！ Nooo!
凯文.凯文. Kevin. Kevin.
不。 No.
通心粉。 Macaroni.
同学们注意了， Attention, students,
由于最近爆发了股癣和直肠皮疹， due to a recent outbreak of jock itch and rectal rashes,
桑达斯基教练想要 Coach Sandusky would like
男子摔跤队的所有成员 all members of the boys' wrestling team
立即将他们的下体交给他。 to surrender their jockstraps to him immediately.
同学们注意了。现在我知道你们都是 Attention, students. Now I know you're all
期待今天的午餐 looking forward to today's luncheon
周二超级杜珀炸玉米饼，壮观， Super Duper Taco Tuesday,Spectacular,
但这引起了我的注意 but it's come to my attention
那里有一个博主 that there's a blogger out there
名字是，生菜爱好者 69 by the name of,Lettuce Lover 69
他们经营着一个名为“Pollution Nerdz”的博客。 and they run the blog called,Pollution Nerdz.
我已经检查过这个，Pollution Nerdz 博客 I have checked in on this,Pollution Nerdz blog
这个月18次。 18 times this month.
现在这个博客散布了很多诽谤性的谎言 Now this blog is spreading a lot of slanderous lies
关于 Tromaville High 和 Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc. about Tromaville High and Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc.
他们的态度也很不好 They also have a very bad attitude
总体上倾向于保守原则。 towards conservative principles in general.
别管罗纳德·里根了。 Leave Ronald Reagan alone.
现在我完全支持言论自由。不然我为什么要推出 Now I'm all for free speech. Otherwise why would I put out
每天早上这些令人压抑的公告？ these thought-inhibiting announcements every morning?
但这些谎言都是关于污染、廉价的 But these lies about contaminated, cheap
和 98% 塑料填料污染的食品 and 98% Plasti filler tainted foodstuffs
只是胡言乱语。 are just malarkey.
你看到我的鸭子了吗？他的名字叫凯文。 Have you seen my duck? His name is Kevin.
哦。 Oh.
你看到我失踪的鸭子了吗？ Have you seen my missing duck?
鸭子能像耶稣一样让你饱足吗？ Can a duck fill you up like Jesus?
什么样的上帝允许一只无辜的鸭子 What kind of god allows an innocent duck
失踪？ to go missing?
嘿，这就是那个势利的富家女。我觉得她真的很喜欢我。 Hey, there's that snotty rich girl. I think she really likes me.
- 嘿，小弟弟。 - 嘿！ - Hey, Twinkie. - Hey!
啊! Ah!
真是个有钱又自大的母狗啊。 What a rich, stuck-up bitch.
为什么没有人陪我出去？ Why won't anyone go out with me?
哟，你听到韦斯特利校长的宣布了吗？ Yo, did you hear,Principal Westly's announcement?
你要打倒污染书呆子吗？ Are you gonna take down,Pollution Nerdz?
哟，杰拉尔多！ Yo, Jeraldo!
呱呱！呱呱！ Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
呃，格特鲁德·斯坦因会关闭她的博客吗？ Uh, would Gertrude Stein take down her blog?
天啊，不。所以我继续全力推进污染书呆子 Hell, no. So I stay full steam ahead with Pollution Nerdz
让我们出发吧。 and let's sally forth.
格特鲁德·斯坦因是个富有、懒惰、胡说八道的人 Gertrude Stein was a rich slacker bullshitter
她所谓的诗也很臭。 and her so-called poetry stunk.
请不要和莎莉福斯一起去那里...... And please don't even go there with Sally Forth...
另一位性压抑的美国白人足球妈妈 another sexually repressed white American soccer mom
他们在没有振动器的情况下在工作和家里经历了无聊的冒险。 who had boring adventures at work and at home with no vibrator.
你值得拥有自己的 PBS 特别节目。 You deserve your own,PBS special.
- 你知道你应得的吗？ - 那是什么，亨利·盖茨？ - You know what you deserve? - What's that, Henry Gates?
两只脚推了你他妈的... Two feet shoved up your fucking...
伙计们，我妈妈给我做了一份多汁的烤牛肉三米奇 Guys, my mom made me a juicy roast beef sammich
蘸酱...蘸酱。 with dipping sauce... dipping sauce.
你们听到他说的话了，伙计们……蘸酱。 You heard what he said, guys... dipping sauce.
你知道这意味着什么，对吗？ You know what that means, right?
是的，我现在能感觉到我的血糖在下降。 Yeah, and I can feel my blood sugar dipping right now.
- 我想吃它。 - 我们走吧。 - I want to eat it. - Let's go.
比猴屎还便宜 It's cheaper than monkey shit,
这些孩子的食道里总是吃不够。 and these kids can't get enough of it in their gullet.
嘿，无麸质玉米饼里的绿色东西是什么？ Hey, what's that green stuff in the gluten-free tacos
对于特伦斯、欢乐合唱团和其他书呆子来说？ for Terrance, the glee club, and the other nerds?
哦，那个？那只是未经化学污染的鳄梨酱。 Oh, that? That's just nonchemically polluted guacamole.
等等，你为什么提到它们受到非化学污染？ Wait, why did you mention they were nonchemically polluted?
呃，没有理由。 Uh, no reason.
呃，不管怎样。我饿了。 Eh, whatever. I'm hungry.
嘿，特伦斯！ Hey, Terrance!
这种绿色、无麸质、无化学污染的炸玉米饼怎么样？ How's that green, gluten-free, nonchemically polluted taco?
嗨，大家好。 Hi, guys.
介意我坐在这里吗？ Mind if I sit here?
不。 No.
我的天啊。 Oh, my God.
你好。我是劳伦。 Hi. I'm Lauren.
别担心，这只是另一起校园枪击事件。 Don't worry, it's just another school shooting.
CNN 甚至不会再报道它们了。 CNN won't even cover them anymore.
你可以冷静一下。 You can chill.
哇，有钱的女孩不乱搞。 Wow, rich girl ain't fucking around.
你从哪里买的午餐盒……蒂芙尼的？ Where did you get your lunch box... Tiffany's?
嘿，你们， Hey, you guys,
我听说过这个恶心的派对/狂欢 I heard about this sick party/rave
特罗马维尔 356 栋丧失抵押品赎回权的房屋中的一栋。 in one of Tromaville's,356 foreclosed houses.
你们都应该来。 You all should come.
那个恶心的派对/狂欢恰好正在发生 That sick party/rave happens to be happening
在我止赎的房子里，非常感谢。 in my foreclosed house, thank you very much.
但这只是一次小型聚会，所以请保持低调。 But it's only a small gathering, so please keep it on the down low.
总的。 Gross.
伙计们，伙计们，考试快到了，诸如此类的， Guys, guys, what with exams coming up and whatnot,
井喷派对/狂欢 a blowout party/rave
这正是尤金所需要的！ is just what Eugene needs!
伟大的。 Great.
我为尤金感到高兴，他以第三人称称呼自己 I'm so happy for Eugene, who refers to himself in the third person
并最终能够以我为代价发泄一些愤怒。 and will finally be able to blow off some steam at my expense.
我实际上在 NPR 上听说过 I actually heard on NPR
备考和进入好大学的压力 that the stress of studying for exams and getting into a good college
实际上比压力更糟糕 is actually worse than the stress
我们的士兵在阿富汗面临着。 our soldiers face in Afghanistan.
下次你的车 The next time your car
被简易爆炸装置炸毁 gets blown up by an IED
或者你被迫将被自杀式炸弹袭击者杀害的儿童尸体装进袋子里， or you're forced to bag the bodies of children killed by a suicide bomber,
你告诉我这种压力是否比进入霍巴特还要大。 you tell me if that stress is greater than getting into Hobart.
哦！ Oh!
哇，斯莱特， Wow, Slater,
你在阿富汗有家人吗？ you have family members in Afghanistan?
不。 No.
但我确实非法下载了《拆弹部队》 But I did illegally download,"The Hurt Locker"
并被电影制片人起诉。 and got sued by the filmmakers.
你看，劳伦，这就是压力。 You see, Lauren, now that's stress.
看看这个婊子和她的日本菜。 Look at this bitch and her Jap food.
味噌汤，我好饿。 Miso soup, me so hungry.
离我远点，你这个恶霸。 Get away from me, you bully.
我就是这样， I am so,
很抱歉。 so sorry.
战斗，战斗，战斗，战斗！ Fight, fight, fight, fight!
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
猛击她的子宫！ Punch her uterus!
停止！这就够了。 Stop! That's enough.
今天放学后你们俩都会被拘留。 You are both going to detention after school today.
就是这样。出去。 That's it. Get out.
- 我会抓住你的，有钱的女孩。 - 闭嘴！ - I'm gonna get you, rich girl. - Shut it!
起床。 Get up.
呃，劳伦，嗨。 Uh, Lauren, hi.
呃，我叫扎克。 Uh, my name is Zac.
- 让我帮你吧。 - 不，我明白了。 - Let me help you with that. - No, I got it.
我只是...我想知道 I just... I was wondering
如果有一天你想过来 if sometime maybe you would want to come over
我们还可以观看乔尔·舒马赫的《蝙蝠侠与罗宾》。 and we could watch Joel Schumacher's,"Batman and Robin."
或者也许你更像是一个“变形金刚”女孩。 Or maybe you're more of a "Transformers" girl.
它们不仅仅是表面上所看到的。只要它不是其中之一 They're more than meets the eye. As long as it's not one of those
糟糕的《星球大战》前传，我们都很好。 god-awful "Star Wars" prequels, we're all good.
扎克，那真是太好了，但是…… Zac, that's really nice and everything, but...
- 这是因为我很胖，对吗？ - 不。 - It's 'cause I'm fat, right? - No.
- 猪油屁股，对吧？ - 不。 - A lard-ass, right? - No.
对你来说，我只是一个果冻卷、精液侏儒， To you, I'm just a jelly roll, jizz dwarf,
抢夺獾、屁股巨魔 snatch badger, ass troll
谁吃甜甜圈、蛋糕、奶油夹心饼干和馅饼 who eats donuts and cakes and Twinkies and pies
带着他的肥肉、肥肉、肥肉，对吧？ with his fat, fat, fatty-fat piehole, right?
什么？ What?
所有这些词到底是什么意思？ What do all those words even mean?
或者也许... Or maybe...
也许你根本不喜欢男孩。 maybe you don't even like boys at all.
不。 No.
不，是因为你闻到了 No, it's because you smell
像烤牛肉。 like roast beef.
嘘。嘘。嘘。 Shh. Shh. Shh.
嘘，嘘。没关系。没关系。 Shh, shh. It's okay. It's okay.
伙计们，伙计们，伙计们。我们喜欢那种味道，对吧？ Guys, guys, guys. We like that smell, right?
- 烤牛肉？ - 不，他闻起来像屎。 - Roast beef? - No, he smells like shit.
你不应该说“蝙蝠侠和罗宾”，伙计。 You shouldn't have said,"Batman and Robin," man.
这是“永远的蝙蝠侠”，“永远的蝙蝠侠”，宝贝。 It's "Batman Forever.","Batman Forever," baby.
帮助。 Help.
哇哦。 Whoa.
该死的糖尿病孩子。 Goddamn diabetic kids.
你疯了。我爱贾斯汀比伯。 You're out of your mind. I love Justin Bieber.
贾斯汀·比伯是最棒的。 Justin Bieber is the best.
哇哦。哇哦。 Whoa. Whoa.
哇哦。哇哦。哇！ Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!
来吧，伙计们。这太棒了。快点。 Come on, guys. This is awesome. Come on.
以基督的名义，这里发生了什么事？ What in the name of Christ is going on here?
听着，我爱贾斯汀·比伯。 Look, I love Justin Bieber.
不！为什么？ No! Why?
天啊，这张照片完全让我着迷 OMG, this picture will totally get me
Instagram 上至少还有 6 个转发者。 at least six more forwards on Instagram.
我的博客上就是这样。 This is so going on my blog.
我只是在等待 Myspace 回来。 I'm just waiting for Myspace to come back.
停下来，大家！ Stop, everyone!
退后一步，来吧。这是一起可怕的事故。 Step back, come on. This is a horrible accident.
现在退后一步。退后一步。 Step back now. Step back.
给他尊严。 Give him his dignity.
家里有医生吗？ Is there a doctor in the house?
刮掉那个。家里有看门人吗？ Scratch that. ls there a janitor in the house?
现在已经是众所周知的事实了 Now it's a well-known fact
该学生吸食大麻。 that this student was a smoker of the marijuana.
我愿意打赌他的牙科记录会证明 And I'm willing to bet that his dental records will prove
他是一名戏剧学生。 he was a drama student.
还有抽大麻 And the smoking of ganja
已知会引起颅骨爆炸 has been known to cause cranial explosions
这种事情发生在过于戏剧化的学生身上。 and this type of thing in overly dramatic students.
什么？等等，等等。 What? Wait, wait.
事实上，我刚刚获悉 Actually, I've just been informed
我们都在这里见证过 that we've all witnessed here
事实上是戏剧系的最新事业。 is in fact a drama department's latest venture.
这是阿瑟·米勒的经典作品《推销员之死》的翻拍版 It's a remake of Arthur Miller's classic,"Death of a Salesman"
正如克里斯托弗·诺兰所想象的那样。 as imagined by,Christopher Nolan.
所以这里没什么可看的。 So nothing to see here.
大家回到课堂。 Everyone back to class.
嘿，注意一下。 Hey, watch it.
你为什么欺负我？ Why are you bullying me?
我对你做了什么？ What have I ever done to you?
欺凌？你认为我是一个恶霸？ Bullying? You think I'm a bully?
你想知道为什么吗？ You want to know why?
因为像你这样的人很容易做到。 Because people like you have it so easy.
可怜的富家小姑娘一生中从来没有一天工作过 Poor little rich girl never had to work a day in her life
而我几乎买不起午餐。 while I can barely afford lunch.
这让我感到恶心。所以他妈的你。 It makes me sick. So fuck you.
你为什么不把你的银筷子插进你的便当盒呢？ Why don't you stick your silver chopstick up your bento box?
你不认识我。 You don't know me.
而且我没有银筷子。 And I don't own any silver chopsticks.
没有皮肤的菲比是怎么回事？ What's with the skinless Furbies?
我喜欢婴儿。 I like babies.
我希望有一天能拥有很多。 I want to have a lot of them one day.
只有那些想上 MTV 的成名妓女青少年妈妈， Only fame-whore teen moms who want to be on MTV,
有钱人家的孩子和流口水的白痴都想生孩子。 rich kids and drooling idiots want to have babies.
就是这样，克丽丝·戈德堡。现在去校长办公室。 That's it, Chrissy Goldberg. To the principal's office, now.
但韦斯特利说，如果我今年再出现一次，他就会让我停职。 But Westly said if I show up one more time this year, he'll suspend me.
等等，布利斯小姐，是我。 Wait, Miss Bliss, it was me.
说话的是我。 I was the one who was talking.
我是新来的，认识的人不多 I'm new here and I don't know too many people,
所以我只是... so I just...
好吧，好吧。坐下来闭嘴吧。 Well, all right. Just sit down and shut up.
好的。 Okay.
不再说话了。 No more talking.
那是个愚蠢的富家女。 That was stupid, rich girl.
新来的女孩有一头美丽的头发。 The new girl has beautiful hair.
你说什么？ What did you say?
呃，我说老韦斯特利看起来像一只大熊。 Uh, I said old Westly looks like a fat-ass bear.
你的笑话让我如此兴奋。今晚我们应该彻底爆发。 Your jokes make me so hot. We should totally bang tonight.
周二玉米卷取得了巨大成功。 Taco Tuesday was a huge success.
但是，不幸的是， But, unfortunately,
我们也遭受了可怕的悲剧。 we also suffered a horrible tragedy.
我们都爱和尊重一点 We all loved and respected little
蒂米……汤米……特伦斯·霍洛维茨，我不知道。 Timmy... Tommy... Terrance Horowitz, I don't know.
但就像卡斯妈妈一样 But like Mama Cass
来自妈妈和爸爸 from The Mamas and the Papas
被火腿三明治噎死的人 who choked to death on a ham sandwich,
这个不幸的孩子，不管他叫什么名字， this unfortunate kid, whatever his name was,
也遭遇了同样的意外命运。 suffered the same accidental fate.
现在我不能再强调“偶然”这个词了。 Now I can't stress enough the word "accidental" there.
不！周二玉米饼真是太可怕了 No! 'Twas those terrible,Tuesday Tacos
这悲惨地改变了特伦斯。 that tragically transformed Terrance.
很好的头韵，哟。 Nice alliteration, yo.
诸位难道看不出来吗？是食物！ Don't you people see? It was the food!
把他赶出去。把他赶出去。 Get him out. Get him out.
- 安全。出去。 - 不。 - Security. Out. - No.
- 不，不。 - 带他离开这里。 - No. No. - Get him out of here.
不！ No!
不不！ No. No!
“The Class of Nuke \'Em High”是内部人员所为！ "The Class of Nuke 'Em High" was an inside job!
你找错人了，你这个瞎子。 You've got the wrong person, you blind bozo.
现在我想进一步歌颂 Now I would like to further eulogize
我们的教育界战友被斩首 our decapitated comrade in education
让我们可爱的欢乐合唱团出来 by having our lovely glee club come out
唱歌。 to sing a song.
你知道，帕特里克，欢乐合唱团不再像以前那样同性恋了， You know, Patrick, the glee club isn't as gay as it used to be,
感谢福克斯网络。 thanks to the Fox Network.
头炸了... Head explod...
头部爆炸是一个严重的问题，你们大家。 head exploding is a serious problem, y'all.
我们来这里就是为了讨论这个问题。 And we're here to talk about it.
所以如果你担心的话，不用担心， So if you're worried, don't be,
因为我们也是。三、四…… 'cause we are too. Three, four...
哦！ Oh!
是的！ Yeah!
哦，天哪，欢乐合唱团太暴食了！ Oh, my God, the glee club is bulimic!
啊! Ah!
嘿，等一下。 Hey, wait up.
大家注意到有什么不同吗？ Do you guys notice anything different?
哇，我们变异了。 Whoa, we've mutated.
我的轮椅也发生了不合逻辑的变异。 And my wheelchair has illogically mutated too.
我想我能感觉到我的腿。 And I think I can feel my legs.
不，没关系。还是个瘸子。 No, never mind. Still a cripple.
哦，快点。 Oh, snap.
真他妈的！ Kick-fucking-ass!
是的。 Yeah.
哇哦。 Whoa.
快点。 Come on.
这些杂技演员真是疯了。 These jugglers are fucking nuts.
我们还活着。 We're alive.
这真是一个他妈的奇迹。 It's a motherfucking miracle.
是什么样的神允许我... What kind of a god allows me...
...这个蹩脚老师的薪水 ...on this crappy teacher's salary
被迫住在我的车里？ to be forced to live out of my car?
你是一个什么样的神？ What kind of a god are you?
我什至愿意租一套鞋盒公寓 I'd even take a shoebox apartment,
即使是在特洛马维尔裂缝镇。 even if it is in Tromaville crack town.
呼！ Whoo!
呃哦。 Uh-oh.
嘿，克拉布特里夫人。 Hey, Mrs. Crabtree.
你的歌声很难听。 Your singing is terrible.
- 嘿，克拉布特里夫人。 - 啊？ - Hey, Mrs. Crabtree. - Huh?
你知道吗，当我还是个孩子的时候，所有的孩子都会取笑我， You know, when I was a kid, all the kids used to tease me,
请叫我瘸子。 call me a cripple.
是啊是啊。现在我是唯一一个我认识的人 Yeah, yeah. Now I'm the only one I know
每天可以跑四分之一英里 that can run a quarter mile each day
在他们的手臂上！ on their arms!
做吧。 Do it.
哦，快点。 Oh, snap.
天哪，我好难…… Oh, my God, I'm hard...
...首次。 ...for the first time.
哦。 Oh.
我的天啊。 Oh, my God.
天哪，我太难了。 Oh, my God, I'm hard.
哦，上帝！ Oh, God!
一个... Ein...
……二、三！ ...zwei, drei!
哦，快点。 Oh, snap.
来吧，来吧。 Come on, come on.
一、二、桑！ Ichi, ni, san!
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
嘿！ Hey!
- 我们去电影院拍摄吧。 - 是的。 - Let's go shoot up a movie theater. - Yeah.
凯文！ Kevin!
凯文，你在哪里？ Kevin, where are you?
凯文.哦。 Kevin. Oh.
哦，你永远、永远、永远不要再这样做了。 Oh, don't you ever, ever, ever do that again.
你听到我说话了吗？我很担心你。 Do you hear me? I was so worried about you.
没关系。没关系。 It's okay. It's okay.
妈妈现在就在这里。 Mommy's here now.
哦，可怜的宝贝，你的嘴上全是什么呢？ Oh, poor baby, what's all over your beak?
请把我的鸭子还给我。 Please give me my duck back.
噢，一个吻，我愿意。 Oh, for a kiss, I will.
我宁愿亲吻一只鸭子。 I'd just as soon kiss a duck.
我可以安排。 I can arrange that.
哦，不，不。拜托，不。 Oh, no, no. Please, no.
强奸鸭子！ Duck rape!
- 把鸭子给我。 - 鸭子强奸！ - Give me the duck. - Duck rape!
为小鸟微笑。 Smile for the birdie.
鸭强奸。 Duck rape.
失败者。 Loser.
对不起。 I'm sorry.
如果你们坚强的话，就不需要武器。 If you guys were tough, you wouldn't need weapons.
抱歉，我现在有点忙。 Sorry, I'm kind of busy right now.
哇哦。 Whoa.
抱歉，鸭子喉咙不在奥巴马医改范围内。 Sorry, duck down throat is not covered under Obamacare.
啊。 Ugh.
哦。 Ooh.
呃，我还很忙。 Uh, I'm still busy.
哦！ Ooh!
拉屎。 Shit.
嘿。 Hey.
为什么嘴里叼着鸭子的小鸡要过马路？ Why did the chick with a duck in her mouth cross the road?
进来吧，臭嘴。 Get in, foul mouth.
什么，这是某种政治声明吗，富家女？ What, is this some kind of political statement, rich girl?
真的吗？ Really?
该死的。 God damn.
哦，无论如何，我欠你一个。 Oh, whatever, I owe you one.
你嘴里的那只鸟 That bird in your mouth
真的让你大开眼界。 really brings out your eyes.
好的，欢迎。 All right, welcome.
好吧，嗯... Okay, um...
呃。 eww.
哦。什么？ Oh. What?
哦！ Oh!
啊。 Ugh.
- 我... - 哦，我... - I... - Oh, I...
来吧，我们去放松一下。 Come on, we'll just go relax.
噢。 Aw.
嗨，凯文。 Hi, Kevin.
- 啊？ - 啊？ - Huh? - Huh?
该死的鸭子一定是吃了浴盐。 Damn duck must have got into some bath salts.
谢谢。 Thank you.
是的，无论如何。 Yeah, whatever.
所以... So...
今晚我要去参加这个聚会并且... I'm going to this party tonight and...
哦，我该走了，让你准备一下。 Oh, I should go, let you get ready.
嗯，富家女…… Uh, rich girl...
你想去吗？ do you want to go?
真的吗？对你来说，这看起来像一个垃圾场吗？ Really? Does this look like a garbage dump to you?
克莉丝。 Chrissy.
一些混蛋在 Facebook 上发布了我的地址。 Some assholes posted my address on Facebook.
现在看。 Now look.
我认为是《拆弹部队》的制片人。 I think it was the producers of "The Hurt Locker."
他们有我的 IP 地址。我知道这。 They had my IP address. I know it.
嗯嗯。斯莱特，你还记得劳伦吗？ Uh-huh. Slater, you remember Lauren?
是的。阿罗哈。 Yeah. Aloha.
八小时前你们不是互相憎恨吗？ Didn't you guys hate each other, like, eight hours ago?
呃，你不想摆脱社交手榴弹吗？ Uh, don't you want to get rid of the social hand grenades?
哇！ Whoa!
我们黑人无法获得足够的白色阴部， Us black people can't get enough white pussy,
我只是说我的机会可能相当大 and I'm just saying that my chances might be pretty solid
如果我把一个白人女孩灌醉够了。 if I get a white girl drunk enough.
哟，斯莱特，那头驴子在浴缸里拉了大便。 Yo, Slater, the donkey took a huge shit in the bathtub.
我得走了。 I gotta go.
- 感觉好点了吗？ - 是的，很多。谢谢。 - Feeling better? - Yeah, much. Thanks.
我需要忘掉那件事，你知道，强奸鸭子。 I needed to get my mind off that, you know, duck rape.
尤金刚刚和我分手。 Eugene just broke up with me.
哦，不。我很抱歉。通过文字？ Oh, no. I'm so sorry. Over a text?
是的。他是个白痴。他甚至没有把消息说完。 Yeah. He's an idiot. He didn't even finish the message.
呃。 Eww.
- 我们跳舞吧。 - 好的。 - Let's dance. - Okay.
所以这个房间有点战前风格，对吧？ So this room is a little prewar, right?
我想我来了。 I think I'm coming.
哦，我来了。我想我来了。 Oh, I'm coming. I think I'm coming.
哇。 Aww.
哟，哟，哟，我的黑鬼，我的吉格斯，我的威格斯， Yo, yo, yo, my niggas my jiggas, my wiggas,
机器尤金来了 Eugene the Machine has arrived
他感觉自己还活着！ and he feels alive!
现在你们都给他五个！ Now y'all give him five!
就是这样？没有什么？ That's it? Nothing?
连即兴舞蹈都没有吗？ Not even an impromptu dance number?
尤金需要喝一杯。 Eugene needs a drink.
我曾经在性行为后吸烟。现在我吃西兰花。 I used to smoke after sex. Now I broccoli.
那么我们现在该怎么办？ So what do we do now?
像艾伦一样出柜？我认为我们应该。 Come out of the closet like Ellen? I think we should.
在这个小镇你甚至不能穿连帽衫吃彩虹糖 You can't even wear a hoodie and eat Skittles in this town
而不被枪杀。 without getting shot.
连帽衫？你是说同性恋比黑人更糟糕吗？ A hoodie? Are you saying being gay is worse than being black?
不，我是说在这个小镇 No, I'm saying that in this town
人们认为 LGBT 代表 people think that LGBT stands for
“私刑、猥亵、欺凌、酷刑。” "lynch, grope, bully, torture."
我会坚持用衣柜，谢谢。 I'll stick with the closet, thanks.
哇，尤金喜欢粗暴的。 Whoa, Eugene likes it rough.
尤金需要一些。 Eugene needs some.
是的？你想看这个吗？ Yeah? You want to see this?
哇哦。 Whoa.
我要把它们展示给你看，宝贝。 I'm gonna show 'em to you, baby.
我会向你展示我所拥有的一切。 I'm gonna show you everything I got.
宝贝，尤金需要看看。 Baby, Eugene needs to see.
哦。噢嗬嗬。 Oh. Oh-ho-ho.
哦，是的。 Oh, yeah.
哦，宝贝，好久不见了。 Oh, baby, it's been a long time.
你不知道。 You've got no idea.
哦，快点。 Oh, snap.
尤金等不及了。尤金没有更多的耐心。 Eugene can't wait. Eugene ain't got more patience.
尤金现在需要感受到这一点。 Eugene needs to feel this now.
- 是的？你要碰它吗？ - 是的，我要摸它。 - Yeah? Are you gonna touch it? - Yeah, I'm gonna touch it.
我要摸它。我要摸它。 I'm gonna touch it. I'm gonna touch it.
你得到了什么？哦，伙计。 What you got? Oh, man.
哦，伙计。哦，伙计！ Oh, man. Oh, man!
你还真是个男人啊！ You really are a man!
一个聚会，我们没有被邀请。 A party, and we were not invited.
多纳泰罗, Donatello,
让我们试试吧。 let's give them a shot.
是的。 Yup.
尤金很困惑。 Eugene is confused.
故障。故障。 Malfunction. Malfunction.
机器关闭。 Machine shutdown.
我们离开这里吧。 Let's get out of here.
但我也想说 But I'm also saying
我以前从未有过这样的感觉。 that I've never felt this way before.
我也是。 Me either.
这是不敢说出名字的爱。 It's the love that dare not speak its name.
- 这很热。 - 是的，这太热了。 - This is hot. - Yeah, this is so hot.
不，就像真的很热。 No, like really hot.
就像，我正在燃烧。 Like, I'm burning up.
等等，你闻到烟味了吗？ Wait, do you smell smoke?
- 火！ - 火！ - Fire! - Fire!
没关系。我拿到了我的帽子。 It's okay. I got my hat.
什么样的神会把欢乐合唱团变成白痴？ What kind of a god would turn a glee club into Cretins?
我的房子。 My house.
在我家举办派对后？我冰箱里有披萨卷。 After-party at my place? I got pizza rolls in the freezer.
- 披萨卷？ - 我的房子！ - Pizza rolls? - My house!
我的纪念盘！这些该死的怪物！ My commemorative plates! Those fucking monsters!
没关系。我们现在就把它们放进烤箱...... It's okay. We'll put them in the oven right now...
香肠、意大利辣香肠、素食... sausage, pepperoni, vegan...
你会闭嘴吗？我根本就没邀请你啊！ Will you shut up? I didn't even invite you!
那些混蛋。 Those bastards.
他们本可以杀了人。 They could have killed somebody.
我想我是... I think I'm...
嗯，嗯。 Mm, mm.
啊？ Huh?
看看这些混蛋。 Look at these jerks.
他们称自己为白痴。 They call themselves Cretins.
对我来说，它们看起来更像是欢乐罐。 They look more like,Glee-tins to me.
多纳泰罗，烧点橡胶吧！ Donatello, burn some rubber!
混蛋们！ Motherfuckers!
把鸭子给我。 Give me the duck.
你不会打瘸子吧？ You wouldn't hit a cripple, would you?
是的，我愿意。 Yeah, I would.
嘿，我们只是开玩笑。 Hey, we was just kiddin'.
强奸鸭子是对生命的肯定。这是 NPR 上的节目。 Duck rape is life-affirming. It was on NPR.
哦，好吧，这不是强奸鸭子的问题。 Oh, well, this ain't about duck rape.
这是关于鸡鸡强奸的。 It's about dick rape.
不！不！ No! No!
- 哇！ - 妈的。 - Whoa! - Oh, shit.
……母亲的身体也开始发生变化。 ...mother's body began to change too.
是时候让宝宝离开巢穴了。 Time for the baby to leave the nest.
有什么东西快要破裂了，但那不是我的水。 Something's about to burst, and it's not my water.
什么……？ What the...?
搞什么鬼？你偷走了我的心。 What the fuck? You stole my heart.
别带走我的心。啊！ Don't take my heart. Argh!
看看那些胆固醇水平。 Look at those cholesterol levels.
他应该吃素。 He should have went vegan.
我的鸡巴饿了。 My dick is hungry.
嗯嗯。 Mm-hmm.
请不要伤害我们。 Please don't hurt us.
等等，我们不和他们在一起。 Wait, we're not with them.
我们只是……我们只是临时演员。 We're just... we're just extras.
是的，就是这样。 Yeah, that... that's it.
呃哦，警察。 Uh-oh, cops.
- 是的，吸那家伙。 - 哦，快点。 - Yeah, suck that dick. - Oh, snap.
是的，吮吸那个肮脏、肮脏、白痴的家伙。 Yeah, suck that dirty, sleazy,Cretin dick.
- 好吧，够了。 - 铜人？ - All right, that's enough. - The coppers?
去你妈的，该死的警察。我是受害者，伙计。 Fuck you, fucking cops. I'm a victim, man.
我出生在奥兰治县。溺爱我。 I was born in Orange County. Coddle me.
嘿。 Hey.
现在的年轻人怎么了？ What is with the youth of today?
我们是明天的年轻人。 We're the youth of tomorrow.
我很生气。 I'm so pissed.
我需要复仇。我需要一个发泄愤怒的出口。 I need revenge. I need an outlet for my anger.
哦，快点。也许我们需要一些新鲜血液。 Oh, snap. Maybe we need some new blood.
是的，但是谁呢？ Yes, but who?
打扰一下。你好。我有烘焙食品。 Excuse me. Hi. I have baked goods.
嘿，伙计们，有什么事吗？ Hey, guys, what's the haps?
你好。我想加入你们的帮派。 Hi. I want to join your gang.
你认为你已经得到了需要的东西吗，猪油？ You think you got what it takes, lard-ass?
我只是想归属。 I just want to belong.
噢嗬。 Oh-ho.
你为什么不去报复你的两个混蛋朋友呢？ Why don't you go get revenge on your two bitch-ass friends?
然后我们就可以看看我们能做什么。 And then we can see what we can do.
劳伦和克丽丝？ Lauren and Chrissy?
是啊，废话。知道了？ Yeah, dipshit. Got it?
去。去！去！去。 Go. Go, go, go.
- 哦，快点。 - Oh, snap.
这就是为什么他们叫我“雪茄脸”。 That's why they call me,Cigar Face.
嘿。嘿嘿嘿，不许笑。没有笑。 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, no laughing. No laughing.
现在仔细听……非常仔细。 Now listen very carefully... very carefully.
我们一些无辜的年轻人 Some of our innocent young
高中的欢乐合唱团成员 glee club members from the high school
被野蛮地、野蛮地杀害。 have been savagely, savagely murdered.
我听说罪魁祸首是两个女人...... And I'm hearing that the culprits are two women...
- 唔？ - ...其中一个... - Hmm? - ...one of whom...
其中一个拥有巨大的阴茎。 one of whom has a giant penis.
现在我要你出去杀掉所有女人 Now I want you to go out and kill all women
- 拥有巨大的阴茎。 - 哦。 - with giant penises. - Oh.
你明白吗？ Do you understand?
但这意味着每个妻子。 But that means every wife.
还有特罗马维尔的岳母。 And mother-in-law in Tromaville.
这就是重点。现在走吧， That's the point. Now go,
杀死所有拥有巨大阴茎的女性。 kill all women with giant penises.
先生，总统夫人打来了。 Sir, the president's wife is on the line.
她听说了你计划去古巴旅行。 She heard about your planned trip to Cuba.
她真的很生气。 She's really pissed.
给我那个。 Give me that.
这次我不会再犯错误了。 I'm not making the mistake this time.
是的，总统夫人。 Yes, Mrs. President.
什么？你要过来吗？你来了……现在几点了？ What? You're coming over here? You're coming... what time is it?
- 哦！哦！ - 我的天啊。 - Oh! Oh! - Oh, my God.
呃，听着，我... Uh, listen, I...
我就知道。我搞砸了。你已经和更好的人在一起了 I knew it. I blew it. You've been with better.
听着，你不必告诉我。我知道。 Look, you don't have to tell me. I know.
我的阴道看起来像一块烤牛肉。 My vagina looks like a slab of roast beef.
而且我也没有像我应该的那样经常冲洗。 And I don't douche as often as I should.
我想我可能已经在你嘴里放屁了 And I think I might have queefed in your mouth
-当你贬低我的时候。 - 哦，上帝，停下来。不。 - when you went down on me. - Oh, God, stop. No.
你在开玩笑吧？这是我一生中最美好的夜晚。 Are you kidding me? It was the best night of my life.
你有做过什么奇怪的梦吗？ Did you have any strange dreams?
我做了一个超级奇怪的梦。 I had super weird dreams.
天哪，我也是。 Holy shit, me too.
我仍然不确定那些是不是梦。 I'm still not sure if those were dreams.
天哪，我也在想同样的事情。 OMG, I was thinking the same exact thing.
我们可以成为女同性恋杰基尔和海德。 We could be a lesbianic Jekyll and Hyde.
等等，你在我嘴里放屁了？ Wait, you queefed in my mouth?
不，当然不是。 No, of course not.
怎么了，BFF们？ What is up, BFFs?
STFU，扎克。 STFU, Zac.
检查一下。我的博客的匿名贡献者， Check it. An anonymous contributor to my blog,
Deeper Throat，给我发了一些疯狂的视频 Deeper Throat, sent me some crazy videos
Tromorganic 实际发生的事情。 of what actually goes on at Tromorganic.
“特罗有机-韦斯特利阴谋”现在肯定已经疯传了。 The "Tromorganic-Westly Conspiracy" has to have gone viral by now.
天啊。 Holy shit.
那些是失踪的特罗马维尔学生吗？ Are those the missing,Tromaville students?
是的，我知道。我自己都不相信。 Yeah, I know. I didn't believe it myself.
- 呃哈。 - 那是什么？ - Uh-huh. - What is that?
看看这部分。看看这部分。 Look at this part. Look at this part.
看看他要做什么。 Look what he's about to do.
太疯狂了。 It's so crazy.
他们正在被屠杀， They're being slaughtered,
就像小鹿斑比的妈妈一样。 like Bambi's mother.
好吧，各位，未完待续。 Okay, guys, to be continued.
哦，快点。 Oh, snap.
妈的。 Oh, shit.
- 白痴们来了。 - 他们又要唱歌了 - The Cretins are coming. - They're gonna sing again.
好吧，好吧， All right, well,
- 我要去上体育课。 - 是的。 - I gotta go to gym class. - Yeah.
- 那我稍后再去找你？ - 呃哈。 - So I'll catch you later? - Uh-huh.
好吧，那么。 Okay, then.
再见。 See ya.
- 再见。 - 再见。 - Bye. - Bye.
NASA 还给我们带来了一些非常有趣的 NASA also gave us some pretty interesting
太空计划的衍生物： derivatives of the space program:
不只是唐......美国人最喜欢的早餐饮料， not just Tang... America's favorite breakfast drink,
但 1986 年挑战者号爆炸...... but there's the Challenger explosion of 1986...
美国最喜欢的航天飞机灾难， America's favorite shuttle disaster,
还有…… and also...
激光！ lasers!
当核熔毁后废墟被清除时 When the rubble cleared after the nuclear meltdown
摘自原著《Class of Nuke \'Em High》 from the original,"Class of Nuke 'Em High,"
只剩下这束激光了。 this laser was all that was left.
而且，我可以补充一下，这台激光是 And, might I add, this laser is
高度不稳定。 highly unstable.
但我确信它不再有效。 But I'm sure it no longer works.
他妈的妈妈。 Mother of fuck.
我们走吧。 Let's go.
以这种态度我们永远无法击败阿莫维尔。 We'll never beat Amorville with that attitude.
来吧，活动一下大拇指。 Come on, work those thumbs.
怎么，你们是一群女孩子吗？ What, are you a bunch of girls?
你有一个...？ Do you have a...?
对不起。 Sorry.
好吧，去洗澡吧。 Okay, hit the showers.
激光也可以 Lasers can also
显然是盲目的。 apparently blind.
奇普斯先生。奇普斯先生。 Mr. Chips. Mr. Chips.
能给我一张尿尿通行证吗？ Can I have a pee-pee pass, please?
美好的。好吧，扎克，走吧。 Fine. Fine, Zac, just go.
为什么这些混蛋不相信我的博客？ Why don't these fucks in the ether believe my blog?
你在那里得到了什么，混蛋？ What you got there, fucker?
嘿，贱人，把它还给我。 Hey, cunt, give it back.
那是奶奶的混蛋还是只有你一个人？ Is that granny's douche bag or is that just you?
好家伙，基佬。 Nice dicks, faggot.
是的。呃，奇普斯先生， Yeah. Uh, Mr. Chips,
奇普斯先生，我们的克丽丝正在课堂上写博客。 Mr. Chips, our Chrissy here is blogging in class.
好吧，你想拿回你的手机吗？ Okay, you want your phone back?
你想要回你的手机吗，你这个小堤坝？ You want your phone back, you little dyke-tron?
去他妈的去拿吧。 Go fucking get it.
你这个肮脏的小贱人。 You filthy little cunt.
战斗，战斗，战斗，战斗！ Fight, fight, fight, fight!
你刚刚操过 You just fucked
和错误的后世界末日地狱婊子在一起。 with the wrong post-apocalyptic hell bitch.
让我休息一下。 Give me a break.
为什么？ Why?
该死的中间人！ Fucking middleman!
你们俩现在去校长办公室吧。 Both of you, to the principal's office now.
她开始了。 She started it.
在这种情况下，克丽丝·戈德堡去了校长办公室。 In that case, Chrissy Goldberg to the principal's office.
你一定是在跟我开玩笑吧。 You've got to be kidding me.
现在！ Now!
- 笨蛋。 - 去你的。 - Fucker. - Fuck you.
去你的。 Fuck you.
请问你们中的一位好心的学生吗 Would one of you kind students
请带我去洗眼站好吗？ please lead me to the eyewash station?
哦。 Oh.