美樂電影
史提夫大師出品
瑪利布史帝菲
史提勒，怎麼你全家的 天份都到了史提夫身上？ Hey, Stifler, how come Steve got all the talent in your family?
-去死吧，豬臉 -老兄，你不行了喔 MATT: Bite me, Fuck Face. DEREK: Come on, man, you're missing it.
我看過幾百遍了 你他媽的屁屎人 I've seen it a million times, you fucking ass-booger.
-麥特，史提夫是電影製片天才 -真正的美國英雄 ANDY: Steve is like a filmmaking genius. DEREK: A true American hero.
奶奶的泰倫鐵諾 The Tarantino of titties.
對，沒人能比他好 Yeah, there's just no way you could ever be this good.
我會向史提夫證明… Hey, look, I'm going to prove to Steve...
我絕對能維持史提夫大師製片水準 that I'm up to the standards of the Stiffmeister Productions.
史提夫看過我的導演功力後… After Steve sees my directing talent...
-小弟也加入家族企業了 -他是這麼說的嗎？ -little bro's joining the family business. -Is that what he said?
-他終於回你電話了？ -沒，但我有留話 -He finally called you back? -No, but I left him another message.
他會回電的，才三禮拜而已 He'll get back to me. It's only been three weeks.
各位，乾杯 明天起我們就高三啦 Gentle-fucks, a toast. Tomorrow, we begin our reign as seniors.
美國派 集體露營 American Pie Band Camp
東大瀑布高中 高三生加油
祝好運！
暑期課程簽到
加油！ -2005年畢業生
[Band performing]
朝代
[Crashing drums]
好，各位，休息一下 Okay, people, let's take a break.
記住，我們將在畢業典禮儀式後演出 ELYSE: Remember, we play this at the end of the ceremony after Pomp and Circumstance.
大家可別再奏錯曲子 I don't want anyone starting the wrong song again.
-伊麗絲，你該放鬆點 -我很好啊 -Elyse, you need to relax, girl. -I'm fine.
不過這是我第一次上台… I just.... You know, it's my first time up here, and--
對，是畢業典禮 可不是波士頓交響樂團 Yeah, but it's graduation. It ain't the Boston Pops.
這場表演代表我們的高三生涯… This performance sets the tone for our senior year. I mean....
餵，你只要記住 大家都支持你 Look, you just remember that everybody here is pulling for you.
笨蛋、笨蛋、笨蛋，傻瓜 Dork. Dork. Dork. Goose.
-我要他們活潑點 -你在這幹嘛，史提勒？ -I like them feisty. -What're you doing here, Stifler?
我們只想說莎喲娜啦 讓你們這些蠢蛋知道… We just want to say sayon​​ara, and let you fuck-necks know...
我們計劃贏得州獎 因為史提夫大師掌控一切 we plan on winning the state title, now that the Stiffmeister's running the show.
-再見啦，吃屁鬼 -他比他哥還混帳 -Adiós, butt-hugger. -He's a bigger asshole than his brother.
他媽的，亞瑞娜 Holy shit, Arrianna.
麥特，你在這幹嘛？ Matt, what're you doing here?
來確保高三生都有個難忘懷的一天 Oh, we just want to make sure the seniors have a very memorable last day.
酷，今晚要露宿… That's cool. So, there's a campout tonight...
只有畢業生可參加 但你可過來 and it's only for the grads, but you could come.
我看看有沒有空，好啊 Let me check my schedule. Hell, yeah.
帶睡袋來，方便萬一要開帳篷 Bring your sleeping bag, in case we decide to pitch a tent.
-看看，時機真對 -這次可棒透了 ANDY: Check it out. Perfect timing. DEREK: This is going to be classic.
開始進行畢業典禮行動 Time to initiate Operation Gradu-fuck-uation.
酷斃啦 This is gonna be awesome.
-可惡 -噢耶！中獎！ -Shit. -Oh, yeah! Jackpot!
認命吧，高三生 別碰到胡椒噴霧喔 MATT: Payback, seniors. Don't get that pepper spray on your hands.
這是史提夫大師送的畢業禮物 A graduation gift from the Stiffmeister.
東大瀑布高中恭賀 2005年畢業生
餵，我們應該噴畢業證書才對 ANDY: Dude, we should've sprayed the diplomas.
抱歉啦，儀隊們 MATT: Sorry, bandees.
[Laughing]
真嚇人，這是史迪力丹樂團呢 Bite my nuts and call me Skippy. It's a Steely Dan.
-什麼？ -這是雙頭震動棒 -A what? -It's a double-headed dildo.
震動棒耶 It's a dildo. It's a dildo.
-哇塞 -還有刻名字 -Holy shit. -It's even got a name.
必卡多
必卡多？ Picardo?
-快噴一下 -幹，才不要，誰找到就是誰的 -Spray that shit. -Fuck, no. Finders keepers.
各位，畢業典禮儀式 將在五分鐘後開始，準備 ELYSE: Okay, everybody, Pomp and Circumstance. Five-minute warning. Let's go.
儀隊人來了，快溜 The bandees. Let's get out of here.
-麥特？ -麗絲 -Matt? -Leesy.
那兩顆怎麼樣？ 還是又小又翹嘛 How they hanging? Still small and perky, I see.
-很好笑 -對 -[Sarcastically] That's funny. -[Sarcastically] Yeah.
-你在這里幹嘛，麥特？ -我來祝你好運 -What're you doing here, Matt? -I just came by to wish you good luck.
-就是樂團的演奏啊 -好運？ -You know, on the whole music thing. -Good luck?
自從八年級後 你就沒跟我說過一句話 You haven't said a word to me since the eighth grade.
對，因為你每次都這麼兇巴巴的 Yeah, and that tone of voice is exactly the reason why.
那，我先走了 So, I'm going to take off now.
各位先生女士 請起立歡迎畢業生 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise to honor our graduates.
他快錯過好戲了 Douchebag's gonna miss it.
噢，對了 Oh, yes.
他們在哭嗎？ Are they crying?
可惡！ Holy shit!
對了！ Yes!
吃屎吧，畢業生 Eat shit, seniors.
[Audience gasping]
Uh oh!
史提勒！ Stifler!
諮詢顧問
我等這一刻已經等很久了 I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time.
現在終於到了省悟的一刻 And now, the day of reckoning has come.
哈羅，麥修 Hello, Matthew.
你哥一定很驕傲 Your brother must be very proud.
你維持了他的傳統 You've continued his legacy.
折磨無辜學生… Tormenting the innocent...
敗壞好而純真的一切 defiling all that is good and pure.
但是你快完蛋了 But now, you're going down.
你想怎樣，開除我嗎？ 雪曼終結者？ What're you going to do, expel me, Shermanator?
我是精密的諮詢機器… I am a sophisticated counseling machine...
來自未來，引導年輕幼稚的心靈 sent back in time to guide young and innocent minds.
我的主要任務是保護 本校的學生… My primary directive is to protect the students of this institution...
和全人類… and all, indeed all mankind...
不受另一位史提勒的摧殘 from the menace that is another Stifler.
需要行為矯正 Behavior modification is required.
改變未來為時未晚 It's not too late to change your future.
不，開除你太容易了 No, expulsion would be too easy.
[Police siren wailing]
有個完美的懲罰 非常適合你的罪行 I know the perfect punishment to fit your crime.
既然你對儀隊很感冒… Since you have so much trouble with the band...
或許你該跟他們做朋友 perhaps you should make friends with them.
媽的才不要咧 No fucking way.
你不學著體恤別人 就得被開除 Either you learn to be more considerate or you will be expelled.
不准打橄欖球 No football.
不准開派對 No parties.
不放春假 No spring break.
不能畢業 [Echoing] No graduation.
上不了大學 [Echoing] No college.
沒有同校女生 [Echoing] No coeds.
懂了嗎？ Comprende?
收拾一下吧，史提勒 Pack your bags, Stifler.
-你要去儀隊營 -儀隊營！ -You're going to Band Camp. -Band Camp!
史提勒
狗屎，垃圾 Bullshit, trash.
美國色情大廈歡迎你！
聖法男多河谷
好耶，河谷辣妹也瘋狂 All right, Steve! Valley Girls Gone Wild.
希望你也在！才怪！
幹 Fuck.
狗年-恭賀高三生！
我說過史提夫會回我的 MATT: Told you Steve'd get back to me.
那隻是明信片… I mean, it was just a postcard...
但卻給我好靈感 but it gave me a great idea.
聽著… Look...
史提夫的屎臉朋友吉姆… Steve's shit-head friend, Jim...
娶了那個儀隊浪女米雪 he married this freaking nympho band-geek, Michelle.
他說在儀隊營 整天都可在床上搞 And he said all they do at Band Camp is screw 2417.
麥特老兄，你不能跟儀隊女搞 別降低水準 Matt, buddy, you cannot screw band chicks. There are standards.
我不是說跟她們搞 呆頭鵝 I'm not talking about screwing them, scrotum-breath.
我是說偷偷錄影 I'm talking about videotaping them.
大家都想在隱藏錄影帶上 看呆子做那些蠢事 People love to see dorks doing that freaky shit on hidden video.
《儀隊也瘋狂》 史提夫有對手了… Bandeez Gone Wild. Steve's gonna have some competition now...
因為他的弟弟我將加入家族企業啦 because little bro's joining the family business.
胸膛間諜
對，胸膛間諜 Yeah, Spy Chest.
秘密錄影 Secret Video.
隱藏攝影機
可穿戴鈕扣型相機 超正點 Hell, yeah.
鈕扣相機299.99美金 說明-立刻買
微縮間諜相機 胸膛間諜3201，99.99美金 彩色夜視器？我買了 夜視器-相機159.99美金 Color night vision? I'll take it. Shit.
筆型相機399.99美金 彩色相機99.99美金
間諜相機199.99美金 戶外相機99.99美金
第二天空運送貨
明天如何？實在太棒了 How about tomorrow? This is going to be great.
誠徵女性-請入內洽詢
高橡園
男生宿舍
[Cheering]
儀隊營-準備大會
歡迎來到高橡園2005 NELSON: Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005.
聽聽羅伊紀念高中！ Let's hear it from Lloyd Memorial High.
羅伊！ L-L-O-Y-D!
高橡園-“2005”
-聖瑪莉山高中 -聖瑪莉山高中！ -Mount St. Marie. -Mount St. Marie!
聖瑪莉山高中！ Mount St. Marie!
東大瀑布高中 East Great Falls High.
東大瀑布高中！ East Great Falls!
五次衛冕高橡園盃冠軍… And five-time defending Tall Oaks Cup Champion...
山毛櫸高校 Beechwood Academy.
我們得第一！我們得第一！ 我們得第一！ We're Number One! We're Number One! We're Number One!
好，坐下 Okay, settle down.
各位都知道，每年… Now, as you know, each year...
某位高橡園的高三作曲家可榮獲… one senior Tall Oaks composer is awarded...
有名的羅伯茲音樂學校全年獎學金 a full scholarship to the prestigious Robards Conservatory.
伊麗絲，今年該你贏 Elyse, this is your year to win.
今年，羅勃茲的校長蘇珊崔博士… NELSON: This year, Dr. Susan Choi, president of Robards...
將親自評審樂曲 will judge the compositions herself.
別忘了歡迎高橡園營區議員們 And let's not forget to welcome the Tall Oaks Camp Counselors.
歡迎來到儀隊營！
如果你進了醫務室 珊德絲護士會照顧你 If you visit our infirmary, Nurse Sanders will take care of your every need.
大家努力練習吧 祝最棒的儀隊獲勝 Okay, so let's work hard, and may the best band win.
大家好了嗎？ You guys ready?
搞什麼鬼？ What the fuck?
你是新生嗎？好像迷路了 Are you a rookie? You look lost.
你是混帳嗎？ 你全身是毛，臭得像屎 Are you an asshole? You're hairy, and you smell like shit.
這次我原諒你的不禮貌 I'll ignore that kind of talk once.
我們這裡不說髒話的 We don't speak that way here.
新生要全程戴瓜帽 這是規定 Rookies are to wear their beanies at all times. Those are the rules.
誰選你當怪胎鎮市長的？ And who made you the mayor of Geek Town?
我是山毛櫸高校的高三鼓手 布蘭頓凡德甘普… I'm Brandon Vandecamp, senior drum major, Beechwood Academy...
也是高橡園議長 and the president of the Tall Oaks Council.
議長先生，那他們是誰？ 第一夫人和副藝妓嗎？ Oh, and who are they, Mr. President? The First Lady and Vice Pussy?
很配嘛 Suits you well.
唉呀呀，真感謝您 對了，身為正式儀隊怪胎成員… Golly, jeepers, thanks. Hey, you know, since I'm an official band geek and all...
你知道我最喜歡哪首音樂嗎？ can you guess what my favorite piece of music is?
-我不知道 -“核桃鉗” -I have no idea. -The Nutcracker.
退後，混蛋 MATT: Step back, bitch.
莫扎特老天爺！ Holy mother of Mozart.
糟糕了 This is bad.
你不知道成龍在這吧？ You didn't know Jackie Chan was in the house, did you boys, huh?
住手，快住手 Stop that. Stop that now.
是那些拿儀仗的蠢蛋先動手的 Those knob-slobbers started it.
才不是，我們只是提醒他要戴瓜帽 That's not true, sir. We simply reminded him to wear his beanie.
然後他惡意地對布蘭頓的私處施暴 And then he viciously assaulted Brandon's genitals.
-說謊，你這鼻涕鬼 -奧斯卡、吉米，帶這人去… -That's a lie, you dick-snot. -Oscar, Jimmy, escort this man to see...
-麥擴那裡 -哪裡？ -the Macro. -The what?
-你死定了 -好了，各位 -You're dead. -Now, gentlemen. 202 00:14:36​​,856 --> 00:14:39,017 天，布蘭頓，沒事吧？ God, Brandon, are you okay?
想不想說說你到底來幹嘛的？ 史提勒？ You want to tell me what the hell you're doing here, Stifler?
不重要，大胖 他待不久的 It don't matter, Big O. He ain't gonna be here long.
-混蛋！ -給我過來 -Bitch! -Get over here.
麥擴會給你好看，呆子 Macro gonna fuck your ass up, fool.
-麥擴到底是他媽的什麼東西？ -麥擴 -What the fuck's a macro? -The Macro.
士氣與衝突解決人員 Morale And Conflict Resolution Officer.
我聽說，有人進了他辦公室… I heard this one time, this kid went into that office...
進去是男中音 出來就變男高音了 a baritone and came out a soprano.
-豎笛從屁眼插了進去 -什麼？ -Clarinet up the ass backwards, yo. -What? 212 00:15:0​​1,147 --> 00:15:0​​2,478 士氣與衝突解決人員 213 00:15:0​​2,548 --> 00:15:0​​4,209 [Faint screaming] 214 00:15:0​​8,588 --> 00:15:0​​9,919 膽小鬼 Pussies.
[Screaming on TV]
[Slamming]
噢，抱歉 Oh, I'm sorry.
《Frankenstein》恐怖片 Frankenstein. Scary stuff.
我是伯里斯卡洛夫迷 I am just a Boris Karloff nut.
-我是麥擴，萊芬史丹先生 -老天，你是吉米的老爸 -I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein. -Holy shit, you're Jim's dad.
他在我的湖畔小屋 把那紅發浪蕩女搞上床 He screwed that redheaded nympho chick at my lake house.
-噢，天，你不是史提勒吧？ -我就是史提夫的弟弟麥特 -Oh, my, you're not a Stifler? -Yeah, I'm Steve's brother, Matt.
-史提勒有弟弟？ -對，你在這里幹嘛？ -There are two Stiflers? -Yes, sir. Hey, what're you doing here?
噢，吉姆搬了出去 娶了米雪… Oh, well, Jim is now out of the house, married to Michelle...
就是你說的紅發浪蕩女 that redheaded nympho chick that you spoke of.
她是該年的前高橡園議員… And, being a former Tall Oaks Counselor of the Year...
被聘來當今夏的麥擴 結果卻懷了孕 she was hired to be the Macro this summer, but she got pregnant.
無疑肇因於你所隱射的事實 No doubt due to the tendencies you alluded to earlier.
而我跟年輕人交往密切… And I have a great rapport with young people...
所以我自願代勞了 so I just stepped in and volunteered.
那個蠢侏儒不是我們團裡的 我們對他的行為不負責任 That cretin is not in our band, and we are not responsible for his actions.
-誰在你的短笛裡撒尿啦？ -我感覺你話裡有敵意 -Who pissed in your piccolo? -I'm sensing some hostility here.
-他對我的儀隊下毒 -什麼？ -He poisoned my band. -What?
-我是麥擴，負責處理… -他在這里幹什麼？ -I'm the Macro and it's my job to deal with... -What is he doing here?
-麥特史提勒跟他哥一樣是大混蛋 -衝突 -Matt Stifler is pure evil just like his brother. -...conflict.
謝謝，麗絲 Thanks, Leesy.
[Huffing]
她人似乎很好 She seems nice.
當然，這是規定 There are rules, of course.
-你得戴瓜帽 -是喔 -You will have to wear a beanie. -Yeah.
我知道這有點呆 但這裡有傳統… Oh, I know. It's a little silly, but it's tradition here...
跟你所習慣的相同 像在橄欖球隊裡… something you're familiar with, being on the football team, I'm sure...
你要走象步、做自慰圈 並喝大桶酒 with your elephant walks and circle jerks and drinking butt beer.
但在這裡，你得戴頂小呆瓜帽… But here, you just have to wear a silly little hat and...
-穿這件蠻時髦的高橡園T卹 -是哦 -a somewhat stylish Tall Oaks T-shirt. -Yeah.
順其自然吧，麥特 So, just go with the flow, Matt...
你會覺得有趣… and you will have loads of fun...
很快就會認識新朋友了 and you'll be making new friends in no time.
嗨，爾尼卡布洛維茲，高音薩克斯風 Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz, tenor sax.
好酷！我也是新生 Cool! I'm a rookie here, too.
去年我就想來 但時間跟電腦營衝到… I really wanted to come last year, but Computer Camp conflicted, and--
噢，那東西在我剛到時就在了 我想上面是你的名字 Oh, yeah, that was here when I arrived. I think it has your name on it.
胸膛間諜
那是什麼？ What is it?
歡迎來到史提勒之家 我是你的招待人，麥特 Hi, welcome to Casa de Stifler. I'll be your host, Matt.
這裡的每天，我都會誠摯地以 不需要踢你屁股作為目標 Every day here, I'll make it my sincere goal not to have to kick your ass.
讓我帶你去看你的新房間 Allow me to show you to your new accommodations.
我在這裡時，你就在那裡 When I'm out here, you're in there.
祝你順心，蠢貨 Have a great day, fucko.
我不… I don't....
好… ERNlE: Okay...
我去把這東西替你放好 I'll just go and put this stuff away for you.
好，儀隊透視 All right. Bandee-vision.
攝相機-硬碟
這是1978年俄亥俄州表演… This is a 1978 Ohio State show...
TheWizardOfOz The Wizard Of Oz.
就是薩克斯風手忘記吹附點音符的？ 噢，嗨 The one where the sousaphone player forgot to dot the l? Oh, hey.
想得美，怪人 Yeah, right. Freaks.
別怕，史提夫大師來了 Never fear, the Stiffmeister's here.
女士們，儀隊營的明天會更好 Band Camp just got a whole lot better, ladies.
你是史提夫史提勒的弟弟吧？ You're Steve Stifler's younger brother, aren't you?
-年輕又大支 -太棒了 -Young and hung. -Great.
-你可否替我轉告他一件事？ -沒問題，小姐 -Could you send him a message for me? -No problem, seňorita.
看來史提夫跟某人 辦完事就跑了 Well, it looks like Steve gave someone the old Stifler bang-and-boot.
-有麻煩嗎？ -不，一切都很好 -Is there a problem here? -No, everything's fine.
-祝你在儀隊營愉快 -謝謝，我會的 -Have fun at Band Camp. -Thank you, I will.
-待會見 -當然 -Later. -Word.
你得開始放尊重點，史提勒 You need to start showing some respect around here, Stifler.
你得把自己帶回你桌上 大胖狗 You need to show yourself back to your table, Big Dog.
尤，快滾開 Out of my way, yo.
哈羅，小姐們 伊麗絲，真高興又見到你 Hola, chicas. Elyse, so good to see you again.
今晚有何節目？ 要開派對，狂野一番吧？ So, what's going on tonight? We gonna party, get a little crazy?
誰想累積一些貴寶上床里程啊？ Who wants to rack up a few frequent fucker miles?
-你知道，你是… -來過儀隊營的男人中最性感的 -You know, you are the most-- -Most sexy man ever to come to Band Camp.
-什麼？克洛依，他很討厭耶 -性感的討厭 -What? Chloe, he is so obnoxious. -Sexy obnoxious.
-謝謝 -我厭倦了混在那些… -Thank you. -I'm tired of messing around with these...
愚蠢的好男孩… dorky-ass nice guys...
和敏感藝術家型的人裡 and sensitive-artist types.
-今晚跟真正的男人一起狂歡吧 -噢，對，那就是我 -Let's party with a rea​​l hombre tonight. -Hell, yeah. That's me:
-百分百的真男人 -好，今晚八點來我房間 -100% hombre. -All right, m​​y room, 8:00.
各位，這是順利的第一天 我是麥擴… Great first day, campers. This is your Macro speaking...
對了，今天的士氣真高昂啊 and, hey, morale couldn't have been higher today.
快上床去大睡一覺吧 因為… So hop in the sack, and get a good night's sleep because...
高橡園競賽
從明天起 將安排許多刺激的活動… starting tomorrow, we have many, many exciting activities planned...
其中還有高橡園盃賽跑呢 not the least of which is the race for the Tall Oaks Cup.
讓比賽開始吧 So let the games begin.
《儀隊也瘋狂》第一幕 派對真男人 MATT: Bandeez Gone Wild. Scene One. Party hombre.
這是脫衣問答遊戲，我們發明的 也是儀隊營的傳統 It's called Strip Trivia. We made it up. It's a Band Camp tradition.
“四而長”、 “性音交融” “猛撞寶貝”和“誰吹我？” ''Fourth and Long,'' ''Sextuplets,'' ''Banging Babes,'' and ''Who Blew Me?''
聽來像是我愛玩的 要開始了嗎？ This looks like my kind of game. Shall we play?
你坐中間 你的遊戲，我來分配座位 You sit in the middle. Your game, my seating chart.
再坐近一點 Sit a little closer, ladies.
別怕，沒關係的 Don't be scared. It's all right.
好… Okay...
規則很簡單 選一個類別和問題… the rules are simple. You choose a category and a question...
每答錯一題就要脫一件 and every time you miss, you strip.
好極啦 Hell, yeah.
-我先， “誰吹我？” -好 -I'll go first. ''Who Blew Me?'' -Good.
別惹我
我是銀色的史特拉第瓦里喇叭 由普利茲獎得主吹奏 I am a silver Stradivarius trumpet played by a Pulitzer Prize winner.
誰吹我？ Who blew me?
-這種事誰會知道啊？ -抱歉啦 -Yeah, like I'd know. -Sorry.
脫鞋，再選一題 Lose the shoes, and pick again.
這遊戲不是都跟音樂有關吧？ You didn't tell me this shit was about music.
-這是儀隊營耶，呆子 -嘿，公平點… -Well, it is Band Camp, moron. -Hey, to be fair...
或許我們該讓他一步 maybe we should just give him a head start.
好喔，對嘛 All right. Yeah.
好，很好 Okay, all right. All right.
你怎麼回事？ 不敢露出被蚊子叮的小腫包嗎？ What's wrong with you? Scared to show off the mosquito bites?
四年級起我就夠成熟了，麥特 你呢？ I've matured since the fourth grade, Matt. Have you?
我那快4公斤重的成熟物 就吊在這裡呢，麗絲 Oh, I've got 10 pounds of dangling maturity right here, Leesy.
-不要這樣叫我 -好啦，快點 -Quit calling me that. -Okay, okay, moving on.
-麥特，請再選一題 -好吧，隨便 -Matt, just pick another question, please. -All right, screw it. Whatever.
拿去吧，慢慢享受 There you go. Suck on that.
-四而長 -當然，沒問題 -Fourth and Long. -Sure, no problem.
貝多芬主要交響曲中 哪一首的第四樂章最長？ Of Beethoven's major symphonies, which has the longest fourth movement?
哦，我知道你們的把戲了 All right, I see where this is going.
好，你贏了 Fine, you win.
[Grunting]
我脫褲子 I free ball, ladies.
得讓大男孩透個氣 好啦，現在換我訂規則 Got to let the big boys breathe. All right, we play by my rules now.
只准問橄欖球問題 準備脫衣吧，小姐們 Football questions only. Prepare to strip, ladies.
-等等，有人想喝啤酒嗎？ -我要 -Wait. But first, does anybody want a beer? -I do.
走廊對面的冰箱裡 是議員秘密貯藏啤酒的地方 The counselors have a secret stash in the fridge across the hall.
-請你代勞好嗎？ -這才像他媽的派對嘛 -Would you mind? -Now we're talking about a fucking party.
史提勒馬上回來 Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy.
[Disagreeing]
這裡又沒有別人… I mean, there's nobody around...
你最棒的一面我們還沒看呢 and we haven't seen your best side yet.
[Laughing]
好！他上鉤了 [Whispering] Yes! We got him.
他慘啦 So busted.
小弟，快醒來 Man, big boys, wake up.
把冷氣關掉就行了 Just gotta turn down the A.C. in there, huh?
晚安 Good night, girls.
抱歉，混蛋，玩完啦 Sorry, asshole, game's over.
那個大男孩會喜歡慢慢走回去的 Yeah, the big boys will love the long walk home.
房間檢查 Room check, girls.
噢，糟了 Oh, shit.
-把他的衣服藏起來 -丟到窗外去 -Ditch his clothes. -Out the window.
好，誰要享受長頸啊？ All right, who wants a long neck?
珊德絲護士 Nurse Sanders.
-她們陷害我 -他用胡椒噴霧攻擊我們… -They set me up. -He attacked us with pepper spray...
-搞砸了我們的畢業典禮 -我去那裡玩友誼賽… -and ruined our graduation. -I went there for a friendly game....
等等 Hold it. Hold it. Kids.
好… Okay...
你的衣服呢？ where are your clothes?
在我這 I have them.
-怎麼會呢？ -她們騙我脫光… -May I ask why? -Well, they got me naked--
-隨便啦，他自己脫掉褲子的… -她們偷我衣服 -Oh, whatever. He took his own pants off.... -And they stole my clothes.
我被困在那裡 讓竊窕奶媽檢查我的… And I got stuck up there with Mrs. Doubtfire checking out my....
[Horn blaring]
我看看我是否弄懂了 Let me see if I have this straight.
伊麗絲，你認為 麥特是自以為是的種馬… Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock who wears his penis on his forehead...
整天把性掛在嘴上 只想媲美他那討人厭的哥哥 just to gain the approval of his sociopathic brother.
麥特，你認為 伊麗絲是暴躁怪異的古板女… And Matt, you think Elyse is an uptight, geeky prude...
應該要放輕鬆並被人搞一下 who needs to loosen up and get laid.
親愛的，請原諒我的用語 這樣說跟事實夠接近了嗎？ Excuse the expression, dear. Is that close to being on the money?
兩位… Look, kids...
解決你們差異的唯一辦法… the only way to solve your differences...
就是合作 is by working together.
你們何不從明天起… So why don't you start tomorrow...
踏進對方領域一步呢？ by putting one foot in front of the other?
向左轉 ELYSE: Left flank hut.
再轉身 Turn and hut.
他媽的！ What the fuck!
[Elyse whistling]
儀隊十！ Band 10 hut!
可惡 Holy shit.
我喊“儀隊十” 你就得立刻肅立 When I yell ''band 10 hut,'' you snap firmly at attention.
-你要看我立刻肅立嗎？ -看過了，小意思 -You want to see me firmly at attention? -I already have. I wasn't impressed.
[Mocking]
聽著… Look...
我們從未贏過山毛櫸高校 we've never beaten Beechwood, okay?
對我們有些人來說 這是最後機會 For some of us, it's our last shot.
請別搗亂了，好嗎？ Just stop screwing up, okay?
好，混蛋 GlRL: Yeah, asshole.
-各位，開始練習，出發 -隨你便 ELYSE: Okay, people, back to work, let's go. MATT: Whatever.
我才不來這套 I don't need this shit.
重整隊形，前排過來 Reset the block. Front ranks, right here.
整理房間 [lmitating female voice] Housekeeping.
廁所和浴室
[Electronic whirring]
奧斯卡，你幫我拿飲料啦？ Oscar, brought me something to drink?
-少來了 -真體帖喔 -Come on. -Good looking out, baby.
嘿，是爾尼垃圾維茲嘛 Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz.
你終於出櫃啦 恭喜你 So you finally came out of the closet. Good for you.
對了，我想知道晚上有啥節目 Look, I want to know what goes on at night, all right?
各種瘋狂的事 裸體枕頭大戰等等 All the crazy shit. Naked pillow fights, whatever.
我看來像負責裸體枕頭大戰的人嗎？ Do I look like the guy that's in charge of the naked pillow fights, huh?
這是我第一次來 It's my first time here.
看到瓜帽沒？ Notice the beanie?
對 Yes.
我看到了 Yes, I do.
說到瓜帽，史提勒你的呢？ Yes, speaking of beanies, where's yours, Stifler?
你還是不守規則啊？ You still not following the rules, huh?
-看著吧 -他又要闖禍了 -Let's see. -Look. He's getting in trouble again.
沒穿高橡園制服T卹 也沒戴瓜帽 No standard-issue Tall Oaks T-shirt and no beanie.
尼爾森先生 這樣要扣大瀑布高中兩分吧 I believe that's two points from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson.
對了，凡德抽筋… Tell you what, Vande-cramp...
我把他的瓜帽… what if I took his beanie...
戴在我的小雞雞上如何？ and put it on my weenie?
凡德抽筋，你覺得這樣如何？ 是戴在我頭上，沒錯吧？ How do you like that Vande-cramp? It's on my head, right?
扣大瀑布高中五分 Make it five points from Great Falls.
五分 Five points.
天，這地方真是爛透了 Man, this place sucks donkey ass.
[Sniffing in disgust]
小子，把瓜帽戴上 Put your beanie on, Son.
五分 Five points.
山毛櫸0-東大瀑布負5 羅伊紀念0-聖瑪莉山0
站好，別亂動 OSCAR: Stay still. Stop moving.
他哪裡都走不了 He ain't going nowhere now.
這不是你的世界，是我們的 我們不要你加入 OSCAR: This isn't your world. This is our world, and we don't want you in it.
你已經害我們損失五分了 You already cost us five points in the standings.
不能讓你繼續下去 We can't have that.
把瓜帽戴到他頭上 Set the man up with his beanie.
[Matt mumbling incoherently]
現在可以表現了，呆子 JlMMY: Now you're representing, fool.
這條牙膏… And this toothpaste...
就算胡椒噴霧的代價吧 混蛋 this will make up for the pepper spray, asshole.
[Gasping in pain]
噢，可惡 Oh, shit.
我去維修部拿稀膠劑 NURSE: I'll get the paint thinner from maintenance.
不知好歹 Animals.
麥特，你來這裡… Matt, you were sent here...
是求改變 to make a change.
目前卻只做到了鼻竇消毒而已 所以… And, so far, you've only had your sinuses sanitized. So...
我想該試試新辦法了 I think it's time to try a new approach.
交朋友吧 Make some friends.
贏得他們的信任 Earn their trust.
我幹嘛贏得他們的信任？ Why would I want to earn their trust?
好 Good.
[Electronic beeping]
歡迎收看史提勒透視 Welcome to Stifler-vision.
下午一點有鐵鈸課 SHEREE: I think there's a cymbal class at 1.'00.
最討厭了 DANl: I hate that.
對，但比低音鼓接力好多了 SHEREE: Yeah, but it's better than the bass drum relay.
說得沒錯 DANl: Yeah, that's true.
你的看來棒極了 Yours look totally fantastic.
-隆二送一喔 -我左邊的大了點，看到沒？ SHEREE: Two for the price of one. DANl: My left one's bigger, see?
-對，我的也是喔 -醫生能幫你整好 MATT: Yeah, mine, too, baby. SHEREE: They can totally fix that.
-不！ -想看嗎？ MATT: No! SHEREE: Want to see?
-我以前… -鏡頭起霧，不！ SHEREE: I used to be.... MATT: Lens fog. No!
[Electronic whirring]
-那什麼東西？跟踪氣嗎？ -對，是KR三號，寶貝 MATT: What is that thing, butt weasel? ERNlE: Yeah, it's the KR3, baby.
是佧布洛維茲遙控機器人 你完蛋啦 The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic Rover. And you are so busted.
-嘿，奧斯卡，叫賣擴來 -拜託，閉嘴啦 -Hey, Oscar, somebody call the Macro. -Dude, please, shut up.
別這麼古板好不好？ 我可以幫你追那個美眉 Pull your panties out of your ass. I can help you with that chick.
哪個美眉？ What chick?
身上都是刺青的那個 那個大喇叭手 Dude, the one with all the tattoos. The Tubanator.
她叫克洛依 Her name is Chloe.
拜託啦，老兄，我可以幫忙 我是史提夫大師耶 Come on, man. I can help. I'm the Stiffmeister.
-愛情和浪漫大師 -吹牛 -Master of love and romance. -Bullshit.
我在春假的一周內就釣上 三個啦啦隊員，大學啦啦隊員喔 I nailed three cheerleaders in one week on spring break. College cheerleaders.
[Electronic beeping]
我也知道為什麼你的相機會壞 And I know why your camera spritzed out.
這東西真酷 Dude, this thing is awesome.
-你用這個看過美眉裙下嗎？ -沒 -You ever use this to look up chicks' skirts? -No.
我用它贏過去年的州際科展 But I did use it to win the State Science Fair last year.
希望明年秋天能進入麻省理工學院 And I'm hoping it gets me into MlT next fall.
我真的很想到航空總署工作 I really want to work for NASA.
國家肛交協會？ National Anal Sex Association?
不，是航空… No it's Space....
-有肛交協會？ -當然，但你得成為高手才行 -There's an Anal Sex Association? -Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro.
等等，什麼是航空總署？ Wait, there's a Space Association?
你應該要用這個 You were supposed to use this.
-看，這有防霧鏡頭，笨 -對，好 -See, it's got an anti-fog lens. Duh. -Yeah, good.
-機器人可以錄影嗎？ -好，你的企圖是啥？ -Can the robot record? -All right, so, what are your intentions?
你想用錄影機做什麼？ With the video, I mean. What are you doing?
只是好玩 Oh, it's just for fun.
誰不想看看裸體辣妹啊？ I mean, who doesn't like to look at hot naked chicks, right?
別洩漏出去，我就給你看 Keep it between us, and I'll let you watch.
另外我會在一周內 讓你把克洛依弄得爽歪歪 Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe the pelvic noogie inside a week.
嘿，史提勒，電話 [Knock on door]
BOY: Hey, Stifler. Phone.
我們在底特律！ ANDY: We're in Detroit!
巴西蘭姆酒喝上癮羅 Locked into sweet Brazilian rum.
老兄，我醉死了 I'm fucking fubar, man!
我今天把藍姆酒寄給你了 在呆瓜城那可能很有用喔 I sent you rum today. Could come in handy in Dorksville.
這裡爛透了 This place blows. 492 00:32:26,​​658 --> 00:32:28,387 我的室友機器人博士… Hey, my roommate, Dr. Robot...
逮到我正在拍大學美眉洗澡鏡頭 busted me taping some college chicks in the shower.
現在我得對他諂媚點 So now I have to be all nice to him and shit.
我也拍不到好鏡頭 因為整個儀隊的人都討厭我 And I'm not getting any good footage 'cause these fucking bandees hate me.
用想跟處女上床的方法 去解決吧 Think of it like trying to hook up with a virgin.
對她們好點 才能拍到好鏡頭 Act like you give a shit about them until they bring you into the good stuff.
贏得她們信任？ Earn their trust?
可行喔 Dude, that could work.
我就當儀隊爛人間諜 I'll be an undercover bandee fucker.
大家好，今天儀隊營的天氣真好啊 Hello, everyone. Isn't it a peachy day here at Band Camp?
儀隊夥伴，怎麼樣啊？尤？ Band buds. How's it going? Yo.
嘿，我只是想謝謝你們叫我起床 你們真好 Hey, I just want to say thanks for the little wakeup call. You kidders.
我終於能聽見音樂的召喚了喔 Hey, I can finally hear the music calling me, okay?
聽到沒？對，我也聽到了 [Band practicing]
There. Hear it? Yeah. Me, too.
我已煥然一新了 對了，你們兩個戴褲襪很好看喔 So I'm a totally new man, and.... By the way, you both look great in pantyhose.
-你在幹嘛？ -等行進開始啊，女士 -What are you doing? -Awaiting my marching lesson, ma'am.
麥特，我真的沒時間跟你浪費 Look, Matt, I really don't have time for this right now.
不，我是想既然來了 就該好好表現一下 No, look, I figure I'm here, I might as well make the best of it.
麥特，行進很難的耶 這可不像丟橄欖球 Matt, marching's hard, okay? It's not like throwing some football.
-哦，你在雙掩護下進過球嗎？ -你在快速行進下踢過正步嗎？ -Oh, you ever thrown into double coverage? -You ever high-stepped in double time?
有，被警察追過克利諾小溪時 Yes, ma'am, the time the cops chased us across Koreno's Creek.
你被嚇哭了 And you got so scared, you cried.
-我花粉熱過敏呀 -那時是冬天，小麥特 -I had allergies. -It was winter, Mattie.
如果你不教我行進 我就再哭給你看 Well, if you don't teach me to march, I might just cry again.
好 Fine.
數到一和三時踏左腳 二和四踏右腳 Left foot on one and three, right foot on two and four.
得做算數喔？ You have to do math?
一、二、三，中間 一、二、三，直線 One, two, three, middle. One, two, three, line.
右腳踩四 Right foot on four.
-雙腳距離平均 -什麼？ -Keep your step size even. -My what?
好，準備啦，小兄弟 我會好好教你 All right, there we go, little buddy. I'm gonna fix you up good. 524 00:34:37​​,922 --> 00:34:42,757 史提勒說，任何會吹大喇叭的女孩 都能做很多事 Any girl that knows how to play a tuba, she can do things. That's what Stifler says.
我不曉得這是什麼意思 但一定有道理 I don't know what it means, but it's got to be good.
可以開始了 You're good to go.
去找克洛依吧 Let's go find Chloe.
天哪 Holy shit.
什麼東西？是誰做的？ What the hell? Who's doing this?
拿去 Take it.
沒關係 It's okay.
-謝謝，怪怪機器人 -不客氣… -Thanks, little creepy machine. -You're welcome...
美麗的小姐 beautiful lady.
用右手、用右手 但我也可以用左手、用左手 With my right, with my right, but I can also do it with my left, with my left.
擺臀 Bootie.
漂亮 Good game.
你剛摸了我屁股 You just touched my bootie.
-那是什麼？ -你的樂器 -What's that? -Your instrument.
太娘娘腔了 That's fucking gay.
-很無聊耶 -好 -I mean lame. -Good.
你有兩個姿勢 Now, there are two positions.
拿的姿勢，像這樣 敲的姿勢，像這樣 Carrying position, like this, and playing position, like this.
當我喊： “舉起”… Now when I call, ''horns up''...
你就舉高你的樂器 然後… you're gonna move your instrument out, and then--
哈羅，輸家 Hello, losers.
麥特，天哪，對不起 Matt. Oh, my God. Matt, I am so sorry.
-我好像咬到舌頭了 -噢，我看看 -I think I bit a hole in my tongue. -Oh, let me see.
-沒有啦 -今天的節目… ELYSE: No, no hole. BRANDON: On today's...
是徒勞無功 episode wasting time on lost causes.
說到這個，據我所知 伊麗絲，你為節目做了樂曲… Speaking of which, I understand you composed the music to your show, Elyse...
如果可稱作樂曲的話 if you call that music.
對，沒錯，我做的 Yeah. That's right. I did.
你爸請了誰替你作曲呢？ And who'd your daddy hire to compose yours?
小甜心，我只是好心警告你 羅伯茲獎學金是我的 I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake. Robards Scholarship is mine.
好像你真有需要 Like you need it.
跟需不需要無關 是想不想要 It's not a matter of need. It's a matter of want.
-對，我得到我想要的 -你怎麼不閉上鳥嘴？ -Yeah, I get what I want. -[LlSPlNG] Why don't you shut the fuck up?
麥特，別這樣 Matt, don't.
-你要怎樣？ -踢扁你 -What are you going to do? -[LlSPlNG] Kick your ass.
-你向我挑戰？ -不 -Are you challenging me? -No.
-是又怎樣？ -不，布蘭頓，他沒有 -[LISPING] Yeah, what if I am? -No, Brandon, that is not what he's doing.
我接受，五點在露天音樂場 I accept. Amphitheatre, 5:00.
已有三年沒人跟我挑戰了 It's been three years since I've been challenged.
有人向我們挑戰 We got a challenge.
[Cheering]
真期待能提醒大家原因 I look forward to reminding people why.
東大瀑布 East Great Falls.
到時候見，混蛋 [LISPING] I'll see you there, asshole.
-你知道你做了什麼嗎？ -不重要，他輸定了 -Do you know what you just did? -[LlSPlNG] Doesn't matter. He's going down.
麥特，你對他單挑 Matt, you challenged him to a duel.
比劍嗎？ [LlSPlNG] With swords?
不，呆子 你們都上台演奏 No, you idiot. You each get on stage and perform.
讓群眾決定輸贏 And the crowd decides who wins.
不能比倒立喝酒嗎？ [LlSPlNG] Can't we just do keg stands?
麥特，這事很嚴肅耶 他贏了，山毛櫸會得五分… Matt, this is serious, okay? Beechwood gets five points if he wins...
而且他會贏 因為他會演奏樂器 which, you know, he will because he plays an instrument.
我也會 Well, so do l.
高橡園的盛大比賽開始！ NELSON: Let the Tall Oaks Battle Royale begin.
贏者可得五分 The prize is five points towards the cup.
好，布蘭頓，你先 Okay, Brandon, you're up first.
[Applause]
來吧！ GlRL 1 : Come on!
來比啊，混蛋 Suck on that, bitch.
爛透了 GlRL 2: Lame.
真夠窘的 This is so embarrassing.
好，布蘭頓 NELSON: Okay, Brandon.
現在給他好看 GlRL 3: Now you show him, Brandon.
你行嗎？ Take that!
看來比賽結束了 Well, seems this contest is over.
就知道，我們輸掉五分 Figures. We just lost five points.
贏家注定是… And the winner by forfeit is--
[Bagpipes playing]
但這不是他的錯… But I know it's not his fault....
[Play That Funky Music White Boy by Wild Cherry]
你不知道歌詞 You don't know the words.
[Cheering]
他應該刮毛啦 He should shave that.
東大瀑布！ East Great Falls!
東大瀑布得五分！ Okay, five points to Great Falls.
好，東大瀑布！ All right, Great Falls!
東大瀑布！ East Great Falls!
Hey, hey...
-嘿 -幹嘛？ -Hey. -What?
-你真的是蘇格蘭人？ -當然不是 -Are you really Scottish? -Fuck, no.
我媽叫我學的 My mom made me learn an instrument.
是我見過最討厭的樂器 That's the most annoying one I could think of.
史提勒，我猜你是生來就要 擠袋子吹管子的 I think you were just born to squeeze sacks and blow pipes, Stifler.
嘿，奧斯卡 Hey, Oscar.
你認識幾個奧斯卡啊？快去 How many other Oscars do you know? Go!
-什麼事？ -你的鼓打得很棒 -What's up? -Your drum line sounds pretty tight.
謝謝 Oh, thanks.
讓我知道你何時想學新動作 You let me know if you want to learn some new moves.
真的？ Really?
-他會搞砸的 -他一定會搞砸的 -He's gonna screw it up. -He's definitely gonna screw it up.
-謝謝你把分數贏回來 -是我丟掉的，我得贏回來 -Thanks for winning those points back. -I lost them. I had to get them back.
嘿，各位，雪莉要教我新動作 Hey, guys, Sheree's gonna show me some moves.
各位… MACRO: Hey, gang...
提醒大家，隨著冠軍獎杯的 競爭愈益激烈，請大家記住… just a little reminder that as the battle for the cup heats up, let's try to remember...
葡萄汁
保持高橡園 公平和友善的競爭精神 to keep up that Tall Oaks spirit of fair play and friendly competition.
口水量夠裝半打飲料了 We'll have enough spit for a six-pack.
-對，寶貝，我為你驕傲 -謝謝喔，翹臀珍 -Yeah, baby, you did me proud, son. -Thanks, J. Lo.
很酷，大胖？ It's cool. Big O?
史提勒，昨天你表演得不錯嘛 Quite a little show you put on yesterday, Stifler.
這些凡夫俗子把你當英雄了 You know, these plebes think you're some kind of hero.
我不知道你是指誰，凡德怪人 I don't know what a plebe is, Vande-creep.
沒人告訴過你大人物在吃飯時 別去打擾他嗎？ Didn't anybody tell you not to mess with the big dog while he's eating?
是我的，蠢鬼 還給我好不好？ RlGGLER: It's mine, jerk-wad. Now will you give it back?
-沒用 -這是我的營區，混蛋 -Dildos. -This is still my camp, asshole.
-你完蛋了 -不，我才不 -You're going down. -No, I'm not.
但你媽可累慘了 But your mom did last night.
她會吹喇叭嗎？ 因為她嘴上功夫真的很厲害 Did she play the trumpet? Because she has really strong lips.
對喔 That's right.
好喝 Yummy.
就該這樣 That's what I'm talking about.
-這次又怎麼回事？克萊兒？ -我正在練習獨奏… -What happened this time, Claire? -Well, I was working on my solo...
就弄傷自己了 and I hurt myself.
我被下毒了 I've been fucking poisoned.
催吐劑
催吐劑萃取自天然藥草… Ipecac is a natural herbal extract...
能刺激反胃作用 that triggers the regurgitation reflex.
不管吃下什麼 都會很快吐出來 Whatever's in there should be out soon enough.
像他，如果幸運的話 Like him, if we're lucky.
我確定這大概只是… Well, I'm pretty sure it's probably just something...
你午餐吃壞的吧？ 我的胃也很敏感 you had for lunch, you know? I've got the same problem. Very sensitive stomach.
有一次我參加餐宴 真不敢相信，他們把… I was at a banquet once. On the same plate, if you can believe it...
奶油鹿肉、炸花枝和豬肉凍 放在同一個盤子裡 they had creamed venison, squid fritters, and jellied pork.
[Matt regurgitating]
幹嘛？ What?
[Matt regurgitating]
快遞
-嘿，硬屁股，怎麼樣？ -快來看看 -Hey, what's up, crust bucket? -Come here, dude. Check this out.
今天下午議員們在排練才藝表演時… So, this afternoon, while the counselors were practicing for the talent show...
我假裝氣喘病發 把兩個相機都換掉了 I faked an asthma attack, and I changed both of the cameras.
這是才藝表演的固定項目 裸體 It's their talent show routine, au naturel.
你這個奸詐的網路怪客，太酷了 Dude, you filthy little cyberfucker. Shit.
-我以為我們要一起看 -沒錯，我們可能想再看一次 -Hey, I thought we were just going to watch. -Exactly, we may want to watch it again.
克洛依的事我聽了你的建議 用機器人送了一罐飲料過去 Hey, so, I took your advice about Chloe. I used the Rover to deliver a soda.
-那就是你那又酷又瘋狂的點子？ -對啊，她還滿喜歡的哪 -That was your cool, crazy idea? -Yeah, I think she actually liked it.
-對，聽來真噁心 -才不呢 -Yeah, that sounds gay. -It's not gay.
總之，今晚有個營火思樂冰晚會… Anyway, there's this bonfire-slushee party tonight...
我需要知道史提夫大師 計劃裡的第二步是什麼 and I really need to know Step Two in the Stiffmeister plan.
思樂冰晚會，真的 Slushee party. Really.
特別快遞 Special delivery.
準備上下其手吧 Prepare to jam with the bearded clam.
大砲蘭姆酒
準備擁抱愛情吧 Get ready to cuddle the love puddle.
機器人博士要準備上床啦 The time has come for Dr. Robot to get laid.
上床？ Get laid?
我說過，信任史提夫大師 I told you, trust the Stiffmeister.
那是德文的“大師”之意 Meister means ''master'' in German.
讓她喝醉？這就是陳年大秘密嗎？ 這就是第二步？ Get her drunk? That's the secret of the ages? That's Step Number Two?
錯，這是第四步了 你沒有第二步的睪丸和第三步的舌功 No, actually, it's Step Four. You don't have the balls for Two or the tongue for Three.
我有啊 I've got the balls.
嘿，你還沒聽到第五步耶 Hey, you haven't heard Step Five yet.
就要狂野 [Singing] Born to be wild
我是陌生人 來看就知道 Well, I'm hot blooded Check it and see
我發103度的高燒 I've got a fever of 103
來吧寶貝 再多跳些舞？ Come on baby Do you do more than dance?
-這真是好喝 -別喝太多了 -This is some good shit. -Don't enjoy it too much.
-我們明天還要練習呢 -放鬆點，麗絲 -We have a big practice tomorrow, you guys. -Relax, Leesy.
好好跟朋友們 享受儀隊營的樂果吧 Suckle the tender fruits of Band Camp with your friends.
伊麗絲，放輕鬆點 好好享受 Come on, Elyse. Cut loose a little bit. Have some fun.
我很享受啊 I am having fun.
餵，發情狗 在他們喝完前我們再去多拿點 Hey, horn dog, let's go get some more of these before they run out.
-好啊 -發情狗？ -All right. -Horn dog?
是他的暱稱 他看到什麼都要插進去，不正常 Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick his dick into anything. It's unnatural.
聽好喔，老兄 有一次在儀隊營，我還乾了雙簧管呢 Check it, dawg. This one time at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe.
-真的？ -先吹一下… -Really? -Blow in it for a while...
把木頭弄暖些 再抹上一點油就行啦 get that wood nice and warm, slap on some valve oil and go to town, yo.
哇，你該用笛子試試 Hey, maybe you should try a flute.
正好可以教你新動作 Now's a good time to teach you those moves.
真的？ Really?
什麼？ What?
[Sucking loudly]
我知道你在做什麼 I know what you're doing.
-你知道？ -你總是這樣，騙人 -You do? -It's what you always do. You're a fake.
你不擇手段 只想成為矚目焦點 You do whatever it takes to be the center of attention.
就像我們還小時 在我旁邊你就是普通的麥特… Just like when we were kids, around me, you were regular old Matt...
但只要在史提夫和他朋友旁邊 你就變成史提夫大師 but around Steve and his friends, you were the Stiffmeister.
你今晚要變成誰呢？ Who're you going to be tonight?
嘿，起司佬… Hey, cheese dick...
停止當個舔屁鬼 再幫我拿杯思樂冰來 why don't you quit being such a fucking taint licker, and get me another slushee.
幹你媽的淫猴 Fucking puss monkey.
怎麼樣？我要享受去了 You know what? I am going to have some fun.
搞什麼屁啊？我真是不懂 Fucking hoes, man. I don't get that shit.
現在奧斯卡在樹林裡 跟那個女議員雪莉跳舞 I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree.
-那又怎樣？ -那個大胖可以跟人搞？ -What's up with that? -That cock spring is getting laid?
沒錯，而我們在這裡 兩個營區裡最酷的一夥… True that. And here we are, the two dopest homeboys in camp...
我們卻完全沒機會展露頭角 真是爛透了 and we ain't got no prospects for our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg.
我得去看看 Dude, I gotta see this.
[Oscar giggling]
-多用點臀部 -像這樣嗎？ SHEREE: Use your hips more. OSCAR: Hips, like that?
對，動快點，對，就這樣 轉圈，像這樣 SHEREE: Yeah, now faster. Yeah. Like that. A circle. Like that.
唉呀！看來雌性體選中了特別的伴侶 [Using Australian accent] Crikey! The alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate.
他是否能撐過這場危險的遭遇… Will he survive this dangerous encounter...
還是她的原始需求能被滿足 然後把他當作晚餐呢？ or will she satisfy her primal needs and then devour him for dinner?
下回再見 Stay tuned.
抱歉，這種動作我做得很差 OSCAR: I'm sorry. I'm really no good at this stuff.
放鬆點，你做得很好 Relax. You're doing fine.
真可惡 This sucks.
感覺如何？奧斯卡 How's that feel? Oscar.
你用鼓棒在戳我？ Is that your drumstick poking me?
我沒帶鼓棒來 I don't have my drumsticks.
你又為我翹起來啦，奧斯卡？ Are you standing up for me again, Oscar?
好熱喔 It's getting hot.
抽我屁股、叫我牛仔吧 Smack my ass and call me cowboy.
哈羅，雙D罩杯的雪莉 Hello, Double-D Sheree.
臀部、臀部 Hips. Hips.
-用臀部 -對，臀部 -Use your hips. -Oh, yeah, hips.
然後踏步… And step, and....
誰想得到？ Who knew?
哇 Wow.
喝，我們在高橡園 喝果汁 [Singing] Yo, w​​e at Tall Oaks Sipping on juice
有小號、喇叭、節奏和笛子 Got horns, trumpets Rhythm and flutes
大瀑布正傾瀉 Great Falls laying it down
要把他媽的山毛櫸 衝出鎮外 Gonna ride fucking Beechwood out of the town
JC帶著大夥去 J.C., what, rocking the bunch
都被他媽的果汁酒弄得醉醺醺 All tr​​ipped out on the fucking fruit punch
-我只想尊重你 -噢，你真好 -I just want to be respectful. -Oh, that's sweet.
唯一會搞的人在這裡 The only person who's gonna get laid around here.
[Oboe playing]
哈羅，雙簧管 Hello, oboe.
這真酷 This is so cool.
希望那個機器人和飲料沒嚇到你 l hope l didn't scare you with the Rover and the soda.
不，很可愛呢 No, man, it was cute.
這輩子沒人對我這麼好過 Nobody's ever been that sweet to me in my whole life.
何況，老實說… Plus, to be honest...
金屬最讓我興奮了 metal really turns me on.
雙簧管海報-上半部
活栓油
[Moaning]
天，卡住了 Man, the shit's stuck.
[Discordant oboe playing]
-關燈啦 -該死，老兄 -Turn off the lights. -Damn, gangsta.
-我是胡扯的耶！ -卡住了 -l was just fucking with you, dawg! -You.... It's stuck.
-糟糕，要我幫忙？ -別碰我 -Shit, you want help? -Don't touch me.
來 Come on.
或許你該吹一下 JlMMY: Maybe you should blow on it.
你來吹，我來拉 MATT: Maybe you should blow on it and l'll pull.
才不要，吉米才不要 把嘴巴放到那東西上 JlMMY: Hell, no. Jimmy ain't putting his lips on that thing.
吉米要當隊友 MATT: Jimmy should be a team player.
-放鬆點，老友 -別那麼硬 JlMMY: Try and relax, dawg. MATT: Not so hard.
噢，天哪！ Oh, my God!
-我只是想幫他拿出來而已 -閉嘴啦 -l was just trying to help him get it off, yo. -Dude, shut up.
算了 Whatever.
他對活栓油過敏 He had an allergic reaction to the valve oil.
應該在幾分鐘內會消腫 The swelling should go down in a few minutes.
這種事絕不會發生在老麥擴身上 These kinds of things would never happen with our old Macro.
我長大時還沒有MTV音樂頻道 We didn't have MTV when l was growing up.
或許是過度刺激的年代… So maybe it's the over-stimulated times...
導致年輕人把自己的樂器… that we live in that causes young men to stick their...
放到這麼怪異的地方 instruments in such odd places.
我認識一個年輕人… l knew a certain young man once...
他居然跟蘋果派搞過呢 who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie.
他後來變得很不錯 And he turned out just fine.
所以這種事情… So, you're perfectly normal...
對你是完全正常的 as these things go.
[Sighing in relief]
-沒事吧？ -對 -Are you okay? -Oh, yeah.
我喝得很醉 說不定會忘記… I'm so drunk right now. I'm probably going to forget about you...
你跟雙簧管搞的事 porking an oboe.
我身上打了六個洞 I have six piercings.
不包括臉上這個 That doesn't include the ones on my face.
兩個在這… Two right here...
四個在這 and four down here.
好久沒看到了 Haven't seen that in a while.
對，現在沒空跳舞 一切都是為了儀隊、儀隊、儀隊 Yeah, well, no time for dance. It's all about band, band, band.
我是說你很愉快 No, I was talking about you having fun.
-我很愉快啊，一直都很愉快 -對 -I have fun. I have fun all the time. -Yeah.
我以前很緊張，你知道… I just get stressed out, you know. I mean...
我們明年要畢業了 我不知道 we graduate next year, and I don't know.
我不太談這些… I mean, I don't really talk about it all that much...
因為這獎杯是屬於團隊的… because the cup is, like, a team thing, and....
但贏得羅伯茲獎學金卻像是… But winning the Robards Scholarship, I mean, that is like...
我的未來 你知道嗎？ my future, you know? And...
崔博士會來，我是說… Dr. Choi is coming. I mean...
你不懂，她簡直… you don't understand. She's like famous...
超級有名，有時候我真… like holy-shit famous. And, sometimes, I just....
我真的很緊張… I get really stressed out...
就用必卡多來讓自己鎮靜下來 and I calm myself down by going off and playing on my Picardo.
等等，必卡多是你的？ Wait, you have.... Picardo?
是個便宜貨，但我弄丟了 It's just a cheapie, but I lost it.
-如果我有辦法找到這個必卡多… -你找到了？ -Wait, if I somehow found this Picard thing-- -You found it?
-可能吧 -還我 -Maybe. -Give it back.
除非你讓我觀賞 lf you let me watch.
好，但我需要點時間暖身 Okay, but it takes me a while to warm up.
我有得是時間 I have all the time in the world.
就知道 Figures.
但我得喝得很醉才行 But I'm going to have to be really drunk.
我是說真的很醉很醉 I mean really drunk. Really drunk.
好 Yes.
小聲點 GlRL: Beat it, jerk off.
好，各位，休息一下 ELYSE: Okay, people, let's take a break.
大家今天都有點沒精神 We're all a little sluggish today.
我們真糟 Man, we suck.
真不該用徹夜狂歡毀掉 一天的練習 Man, one night of fun was not worth losing a whole day of practice.
擴音器給我 Give me this thing.
大家聽好，你們這些懶蟲 All right, listen up, you lazy bunch of lip shits.
那些山毛櫸爛人可沒有休息 Those Beechwood plebes aren't taking breaks.
我們要贏得比賽 就得好好努力 We want to win this thing, we've gotta bust our asses.
來吧，混蛋們，繼續練 Come on, bitches. Back to work.
-麥特，這是我的職責 -拿出老二、拍拍襪子 -Matt, that's my job. -Grab your cocks and move your socks.
這是戰備狀況，戰備！ We're at war here, people, war!
秀點乳頭、長些睪丸 餵，大家保持暖身 Show some tits. Grow some balls. Hey, keep that thing warm for me.
怎麼？想讓山毛櫸贏過我們？ 我不同意 All right, now. What, you want to let Beechwood tittie-fuck us? I didn't think so.
好了，高橡園… MACRO: All right, Tall Oakers...
這是最後一個禮拜 該認真準備比賽了 we're in our final week. Time to put on our game faces.
準備披掛上陣 And time to strap yourselves in for a bumpy ride.
我要雙簧單簧管、黑東西… I want the oboe, clarinet, black thingies...
還要全面的節奏小隊 and we've got the rhythm section in a full-on blitz.
-大家都懂嗎？ -懂！ -Are you with me, bandees? -Yeah!
高橡園盃的比賽氣氛高漲 MACRO: Competition for the Tall Oaks Cup is really heating up.
山毛櫸3-東大瀑布1 羅伊紀念0-聖瑪莉山1
山毛櫸獲勝 Beechwood wins.
隨便 Whatever.
我說過該讓我掌舵的 I told you, you should let me steer.
帶那婊子回家 BOY: Take that bitch home, man.
用力點，餵，你這豬臉！ 我真不知道該怎麼說你 Drive it in. Hey, you, fuck face, I don't even know where to start with you.
山毛櫸領先 大瀑布和羅伊暫居第二 MACRO: Beechwood leads. Great Falls and Lloyd are tied for second.
山毛櫸完全攻略！ Beechwood licks nuts. Hut!
東大瀑布勝利 MACRO: Victory, East Great Falls.
山毛櫸-5分
右腳走直線 Right foot on line.
吉米，你這個乳液鬼 Jimmy, you fucking lotion lover.
東大瀑布領先四分 MACRO: East Great Falls by four points.
山毛櫸10-東大瀑布15 羅伊紀念5-聖瑪莉山5
海盜啊嘿！ Hey, butt pirates ahoy.
你的小儀隊或許暫時領先… Your little band may be leading in the competition, Stifler...
但口渴時別忘了告訴我們 but make sure to let us know if you get thirsty.
對，因為我們多得是這個 Yeah, 'cause there's plenty of this.
[Hawking and spitting]
[Matt laughing]
很有趣對不對？對極啦 That's funny for you dorks. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.
去他的挑戰 我要去踢他屁股 Man, screw that challenge. I'm just gonna kick his ass.
等等，我有更好的點子… No, wait. I've got a better idea...
只要你夠帶種 if you think you're man enough.
好 Yes.
-你確定行嗎？ -我生來就是色情明星耶 -Hey, you sure you can do this? -Hey, born to be a porn star, baby.
隨要隨有 Delivery on demand.
我回來後，馬上就輕了 一百萬個史提勒的重量 When I get back, I'll be a million Stiflers lighter.
布蘭頓，你是個好鼓手，所以… Brandon, I think you're a rea​​lly good drummer, so--
抱歉 Excuse me.
各位… Hey, guys...
別忘了擦防曬油 你的身體就是樂器喔 don't forget your sunscreen. Your bodies are your instruments.
對，你可不想在獨奏時破裂 Yeah, you don't want to be chapped for your solos.
不會，再見 No, we don't. Bye now.
那是多少，30的嗎？很黏 What is that, 30? It's really thick.
味道怎樣？凡德雞？ How's that taste, Vande-cock?
很好吧？又暖又鹹吧？ Good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah.
是全新配方的精子乳 百分之百的史提非精液… It's a cum-pletely new formula. 100o% Stiffy juice...
防曬係數69 S.P.F. 69.
厲害吧 Suck on that.
-對 -別這樣 -Yeah. -Stop, man.
-對 -爾尼 -Yeah. -Ernie.
你以前做的比這個好 What you had before was way better than this.
這聽來像你不正常的榮譽心作祟 This sounds like your overactive honor-society brain.
而不是你那下流、潮濕… lnstead of your nasty, wet...
骯髒的內褲 dirty-girl panties.
應該更隨性一點 It should be more spontaneous.
別說啦 Stop.
或許你該跟你朋友麥特多多相處 Maybe you should hang out with your friend Matt a little bit more.
是哦 Yeah, right.
我知道他很討厭 但他也有好處 I know he's a dick and everything, but he's also got one.
做點愛情樂曲吧 然後音符就會自動浮現了 Make some love music, you know? And then your notes will just cum to you.
-噢，麥特！ -停 -Oh, Matt! -Stop.
麥特，麥特 Matt. Matt.
去吧，混蛋 Go long, you asshole. Go.
嗨，伊麗絲 Hey, Elyse.
丟回來，對 Throw it back. Come on.
那是什麼？ What you got?
高橡園
打錯了，對不起 Missed. Sorry.
如果要我敲三角鐵… MATT: Hey, if I have to ring the triangle...
-你就得丟橄欖球，對吧？ -好 -you have to throw the football, all right? -Okay.
把手臂後拉，對 Draw your arm back. There you go.
肩膀朝著目標，對 好，現在往前踏一步 Shoulder to your target. Right. Okay, now step forward.
我們不是在行進耶，一腳就好 Come on we're not marching. One foot.
-好 -準備好了？很好 -Okay. -You're fine. Ready? There you go.
把球放到耳際… Draw the ball over your ear...
丟出去時，讓球在指尖轉動 好嗎？ and when you throw it, let it roll right off your fingers, all right?
好 Okay.
來，丟吧 Come on, throw it.
看？我教了你些事情吧？ See? I taught you something. What?
每次我丟球，你就要跑去接嗎？ So every time I throw it, you're gonna run and go get it?
基本上就是這樣 That's generally how it works.
就像跟小狗玩接球 Like playing fetch with my dog​​.
-對，只不過我可不舔自己的老二 -要是可以你也會的 -Yeah, except I don't lick my own balls. -You would if you could.
噢，對 Oh, yeah.
好，再來 Okay, again.
丟過來 Right here.
看，那個像白兔 ELYSE: Look, that one looks like a bunny.
才不像 MATT: No, it doesn't.
或許像只有一個睪丸的白兔 Maybe a bunny with one nut.
-不，那是尾巴 -隨便你啦 -No, that's its tail. -Whatever you say.
-你說我們會贏嗎？ -當然啦 -You think we'll win this thing? -Hell, yeah, we will.
-如果你把風笛也加進去就會 -噢，天哪，我再也不會犯那種錯了 -lf you write in a bagpipe part. -Oh, God, I'll never make that mistake again.
-什麼意思？ -八年級的朗誦課 -What? -The eighth grade recital.
你叫我把你寫進去 You made me write in a part for you.
你還穿蘇格蘭裙 You wore your kilt.
對，史提夫跟他朋友都到場了 Yeah, Steve showed up with his friends.
他們恥笑了我好久 They gave me so much shit for that.
我好幾天不敢出房間 I didn't come out of my room for days.
你為了報復 居然把我所有內衣都偷走… You made it up to him by stealing all my underwear...
好掛在旗桿上 so you could run them up the flagpole.
還包括我的運動胸罩 lncluding my training bras.
好吧，既然我們這是 歐普拉真心話時間… Okay, since we're having some big fucking Oprah moment here...
我真的很抱歉 I'm sorry about your underwear.
還有日記的事 And the diary.
還有其他所有蠢事 And all that other shit, too.
對了！ That's it.
-是你先的 -這可以讓我得到獎學金 -You started it. -This is gonna get me that scholarship.
什麼？ What?
在我忘掉前，得快去把它寫下來 I've got to go write this down before I forget.
[Elyse humming]
Hey. Hey. Hey.
我們可否明天再來一次？ Could we do this again tomorrow night?
當然好，明天黃昏時這裡再見 Yeah, sure. I'll see you here at sunset.
Hey.
要不要我帶必卡多來？ Should I bring that Picardo thing?
好，我會為你獨奏 Okay, I'll do a solo for you.
[Elyse giggling]
[Groaning in pain]
-怎麼回事，爾尼？ -嘿 -What's up, Ernie? -Hey.
又是那個醜護士 It was that fugly nurse again.
噢，天哪 Oh, my God.
麥特史提勒？ Matt Stifler?
-哇塞，看看你 -亞瑞娜，你在這幹嘛？ -Holy shit, look at you. -Arrianna, what are you doing here?
我們要跟樂團一起排練 你在這幹嘛？ We practice our routine with the band. What are you doing here?
我非來不可，學校逼的 I had to come. The school made me.
-有人知道這事嗎？ -他們知道 -Does anybody know about this yet? -Oh, they do now.
來吧，不准照相 你是乳仔隊嗎？ Hey, come on, no pictures. What're you, the papa-tit-zzy?
-哇塞，這真可笑 -微笑 -Holy shit, this is so hilarious. -Smile.
小姐，沒時間敦親睦鄰了 Ladies. No time for fraternizing.
拿包包，待會見了，儀隊兄 Get the bags. Guess I'll see you around, bandee.
真夠呆 我要用電子郵件寄給大家看 What a dork. I'm going to email this to everybody.
各位，太棒了，鼓手，數到五 Girls, that was great. Percussion, take five.
喇叭手，我們要加強音調 Horns, we've got to work on intonation.
各位，明天就是決賽了 The final performance is tomorrow, you guys.
真夠爛的 They're so lame.
你敲三角鐵耶，真可愛 You play the triangle. How cute.
不，我不是 餵，告訴你… No, I don't. Look, I told you...
-我得… -我走了 -I had to-- -I gotta go.
-我不跟儀隊人混 -我不是儀隊人 -I don't socialize with bandees. -I'm not a fucking bandee.
我不是啦 我只是裝的 I'm not. Look. I've just been acting like a geek.
這樣才能用隱藏相機拍到他們的鏡頭 I've been playing them so I could get them on hidden video.
我一直偷偷在拍 他們做這些蠢事 I've been secretly videotaping them doing all this crazy shit.
-真的？ -對，我可以給你看 -Really? -Yeah, I could show you.
好，晚餐後過來 Okay, come by after dinner.
我會把啦啦隊球放到窗戶做記號 I'll leave my pompoms in the window for you.
-你遲到了 -對啦，快開窗 -You're late. -Yeah, no shit. Open the window.
等等，小心點 Hold on. Be careful with it.
好，在你們看我的辛苦成果前 我有個條件 All right, one condition before I show you the fruits of my labors.
什麼？ What's that?
我要你把手機上的照片刪掉 I want that picture on that camera phone erased.
學校裡不准有人知道 三角鐵或瓜帽的事 Nobody at school hears about the triangle or the beanie.
我不要任何人以為我是儀隊豬頭 I don't want anybody to think I'm a dorky-ass bandee.
好啦，現在可開始了嗎？ Fine. Like, now can we get on with it?
只要你把我的照片 從手機裡刪掉就行 MATT: As soon as you get rid of that picture of me on your phone.
-今天要去市區嗎？ -今晚不去，我太累了 PATTl: Are you going into town? LAURlE: Not tonight. I'm too tired.
何況這裡的人棒多了 LAURlE: Besides, they're much hotter here.
對啊，今年的儀隊實在很棒 I know. It's a great crop this year.
-好啦，刪掉了 -現在可以看錄影帶了吧？ -There. Done deal. -Now can we see the video?
史提夫大師出品… Stiffmeister Productions...
天才新導演麥修史提勒製作… in association with its talented new director, Matthew Stifler...
隆重推出一刀未剪… is happy to premier the unedited...
未經過濾的驚異大片 《儀隊也瘋狂》 unfiltered, and un-fucking-believable Bandeez Gone Wild.
噢耶！ Oh, yeah.
《儀隊也瘋狂》
-我的天！ -真是不可思議 -Oh, my God. -That is unbelievable.
-開玩笑的吧？ -太棒了 -You're kidding me, right? -That's great.
丹妮菈喜歡吉米 但她比他還高幾公分耶 PATTl: Danielle likes Jimmy, but she's like a foot taller than him.
還有更精采的呢 And wait till you hear this.
雪莉跟那個鼓手大胖上床了 Sheree slept with that big Oscar guy, the drummer.
說他棒極了 Said he was amazing.
我跟布蘭頓搞過一次 還鼓手咧，他… LAURlE: I hooked up with Brandon once. Some drummer. He has...
毫無節奏，根本無法持久 no rhythm, and he can't even bang very long.
天哪，真的嗎？ PATTl: Oh, my God. Are you serious?
對，他有夠嫩的 年紀都這麼大了還這麼嫩 LAURlE: Yeah, he's a preemie. I'm not talking about the day he was born, either.
幫我擦背好嗎？ 今天多曬了點太陽 Can you get my back? I think I got a little bit of sun today?
好 Sure.
還有呢，他只有一顆睪丸 Get this. He has one ball.
-不會吧？ -一顆 PATTl: No way. LAURlE: One ball.
對，所以他才會到哪都帶著那根鼓棒 Yeah, that's why he carries that big stick around everywhere.
上面有他的另一顆睪丸呢 It's got his other ball on top.
糟了，慘了 Shit, shit, oh, shit.
[Screaming]
那是什麼？ What is that thing?
[Screaming]
打爛它 Let's kill it.
-跑哪去了？ -那邊 -Where'd he go? -There he is.
小心 Look out.
這個要丟進湖里 This is going into the lake.
沒人會知道有這卷錄影 No one's gonna know about your little video.
因為你偷拍我們… 'Cause the shit you got us doing on tape....
我們明天還有比賽 我不想再見到你 So we got a contest to win tomorrow. And I don't want to see you.
懂了嗎？ Understand?
你有沒有幫他？ Did you help him?
山毛櫸10-東大瀑布15 羅伊紀念5-聖瑪莉山5
東大瀑布目前領先… NELSON: With East Great Falls in the lead...
山毛櫸必須贏得錦標賽才行 Beechwood has to win the Band Camp PIayoffs.
一小時後到會場集合 Direct yourseIves to the marching fieId in one hour.
高橡園盃 冠軍行進大賽
崔博士，山毛櫸高校的 布蘭頓凡德甘普… Now, Dr. Choi, Brandon Vandecamp from Beechwood...
是我們最棒的音樂家… is our best musician by far...
他父親蘭敦也是 我們最大的捐助人 and his father, Landon, is our best donor, also by far.
羅伯茲需要有天份的音樂家 也需要有才幹的捐助人 CHOl: Robards needs talented musicians as much as we need talented donors.
櫻桃-萊姆-柳橙-葡萄 [Laughter]
催吐劑 lpecac.
-怎麼樣？好玩嗎？ -還好 -So how's it going? Are you having fun? -It's okay.
東大瀑布
來點催吐劑吧，凡德蟑螂？ How about some lpecac, Vande-cooch?
藥草萃取可讓你們山毛櫸高校 同聲合吐哦！ This herbal fucking extract will help you Beechwood fief play in tune, huh?
山毛櫸
狗屎 Shit.
史提勒，我說過不想再看到你了 I told you I don't want to see you anymore, Stifler.
有一天你會感謝我的，混蛋 Some day, you'll thank me, asshole.
東大瀑布-柳橙 山毛櫸-葡萄
-柳橙？ -又是柳橙？ -Orange? -Again?
-該死 -柳橙汁難喝死了 -Damn. -That orange shit is janky.
我想要葡萄 I'm feeling grape, dawg.
他們不管贏過幾次 今天就是喝不到葡萄汁 OSCAR: I don't care how many times they won. They're not getting the grape today.
說得沒錯 JlMMY: That's what I'm talking about.
五次衛冕冠軍… NELSON: Your five-time defending champion...
山毛櫸高校 Beechwood Academy.
評審
-他們很不錯 -對，他們今年特別出色 -They're tight. -Yeah, they're better than ever this year.
好了，各位 Okay, everybody.
山毛櫸高校之能眾所皆知 It's no surprise Beechwood is good.
但今年卻不一樣 今年，我們可以戰勝他們 But this year is different. This year, we can beat them.
我們很努力，我們也夠格… We've worked hard, and we are good enough...
機會來了 讓我們贏得獎杯！ and this is our time, so let's win the cup.
對！ Yeah!
山毛櫸高校 NELSON: Beechwood Academy.
今天他們的音樂是由 資深鼓手… Their music today was composed by senior drum major...
布蘭頓凡德甘普所編 Brandon Vandecamp.
嚇死你 Beat that.
東大瀑布高中，可以入場了 NELSON: East Great Falls, you may enter the field for competition.
東大瀑布
-儀隊十，一、二、準備 -糟了 ELYSE: Band 10 hut. One, two, ready. MATT: Shit.
麗絲，等等，不 Leesy, wait, no.
不，等等 No. Wait.
對不起，我不知道怎會這樣 You know, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened.
別吐我鞋子上，慘啦 Not my shoes. Here we go.
史提勒！ Stifler!
史提夫，你就像你哥 MACRO: You know, you're like your brother, Steve.
我認為他不該是你學習的榜樣 And I don't think those are the shoes you should be so eager to fill.
你可知道，史提夫以為 可稱作他朋友的那些人… You know, the people Steve thought were his friends...
-根本不喜歡他 -什麼？ -really didn't like him very much. -What?
但我覺得你不一樣 But I think you're different.
麥特，我認為大家想要喜歡你 只是你沒讓事情容易些 I think people want to like you, Matt. You just make it really hard.
離別是甜蜜的悲傷 尤其當你慘敗 Parting is such sweet sorrow. When you're a loser.
萊文史丹先生報告說 營區裡發生了幾件… Mr. Levenstein reports that there were a few incidents...
事情 at camp.
但他也提到… But he also says that...
你跟儀隊曾有短期的和睦相處 you bonded with the band briefly.
學校開課後，你最好規矩點 When school starts, you're going to be on a very short leash.
記住，雪曼終結者 什麼都看得清清楚楚 Remember, the Shermanator sees it all.
走吧 Be gone.
大家真的都討厭我哥嗎 Did everybody hate my brother?
星際日期：2005年8月21日 Stardate: August 21, 2005.
小史提夫教養有小成 Some progress made with Stiffy Junio​​r.
行為矯正明顯進步 Behavior modification evident.
將持續追踪 Will continue to monitor.
雪曼終結者報告完畢 Shermanator out.
“雙D罩杯雪莉”短片段 A little ''Double-D Sheree'' action.
機器人博士片段 Little bit of Dr. Robot.
瘋狂蠢蛋 Crazy fucker.
刪除
被喇叭手搞
大胖和迪迪
浴室四-六鏡頭
嗨，史提勒，你拿什麼來現？ Hey, Stifler, where's your instrument?
你穿錯制服羅 Dude, you're in the wrong uniform.
別管他們，等他們看到錄影帶 就知道好歹了 Screw them, dude. They're gonna freak out when they see the video.
我們在想如果能來場特別首映… Look, we thought that if we had an advance screening...
那大家都會知道 你真的不是蠢蛋 then everyone would see that you're not really a dork.
辦不到，沒了 I can't. It's gone.
-什麼？ -錄影帶被我刪掉了 -What? -The video, man, I deleted it.
為什麼？ Why?
這個家族企業 小弟不干了 Guess little bro's quitting the family business.
你開玩笑吧？ Are you kidding me?
他居然撇下我們投向儀隊！ He went fucking bandee on us.
[Bell ringing]
重返校園音樂會 開始售票
你們好嗎？ Hey, what's up, guys?
你完蛋了，他媽的 You a dead man, motherfucker.
-你也是，小鬼 -等一下 -You, too, little man. -Wait, wait, wait, wait.
那些紫色的嘔吐物是意外 有人掉換了飲料桶 Dude, the purple puke was an accident. Somebody switched the coolers.
柳橙汁真的很難喝啊 Hey, that orange shit is janky, yo.
克洛伊，我們沒看到伊麗絲裸體 真的 Chloe, we never saw Elyse, you know, naked.
麥特把電腦關了 Matt turned off the computer.
這樣就要我們原諒他？ So we're just supposed to forgive him now?
-他還是一樣混蛋 -沒錯 -He's still an asshole. -You're right.
我是混蛋 I am an asshole.
曾偷拍你們的事，我無法收回… I can't take back spying on you...
我也無法贏回儀隊獎杯 and I can't win that Bandee Cup thing.
但我可以幫某人得到她應得的 But I can help someone get what she deserves.
我不是要你們原諒我 I'm not asking you to forgive me.
只是請你們幫我去幫伊麗絲 Just help me help Elyse.
羅伯茲音樂學校
-找到電話了 -說吧 -I got the number. -Go ahead.
555-0171 555-01 7 1 .
不管是誰的飲料桶 他都不該把催吐劑倒進去 He shouldn't have been dumping lpecac in anyone's cooler.
我們可以靠實力贏的 We could've won on our own.
我才不關心他用相機偷拍我 我是說我不是不關心… I don't even care that he saw me on camera. Well, I mean I do, but....
甜心，這是你的 Honey, this just came for you.
是羅伯茲學校寄的 It's from Robards.
裡面說什麼？ What's it say?
崔博士想要見我？ Dr. Choi wants to meet with me?
羅伯茲音樂學院
員工停車位
-好 -好 -Okay. -Okay.
再見 Bye.
嗨，我是伊麗絲休士頓 Hi. Elyse Houston.
我跟崔博士有約 I have an appointment with Dr. Choi.
-沒有你的訂約紀錄 -一定是你們弄錯了，看… -You're not in the book. -No, there must be some mistake. See...
我有這封信 I have a letter.
這封信… This letter is, well....
是假的 It's a fake.
-這不是崔博士的簽名 -什麼？ -This is not Dr. Choi's signature. -What?
史提勒 Stifler.
你這混蛋 You son of a bitch.
怎麼？你在儀隊營羞辱我還不夠？ What? It wasn't enough for you to humiliate me at Band Camp?
你還要把我騙來這裡？ Now you have to set me up here?
到底怎麼回事？ What's going on here?
這是我的樂團 This is my band.
那是她的音樂 And that's her music.
哦… Well...
我看過各種想入學的辦法… I've certainly seen some interesting attempts to gain admission...
但這種還是第一次 but this is a first.
休士頓小姐，試聽很精采 我們去談談獎學金的事吧 Excellent audition, Miss. Houston. Let's go discuss that scholarship.
我以為布蘭頓贏了 I thought Brandon won.
不，凡德甘普先生 因剽竊被取消資格 No, Mr. Vandecamp was disqualified for plagiarism.
哦 BOY: All right.
我就說吧 JlMMY: That's what I'm talking about, yo.
天哪，各位，真是太棒了 Oh, my God, you guys, that was amazing.
-謝謝你們 -謝他吧，是他的點子 -Thank you so much. -Thank him. It was his idea.
真的 Word.
-這是你安排的？ -還有朋友幫忙 -You planned all this? -With some friends.
過來 Come here.
噢，我想這是你的 Oh, I believe this is yours.
你知道… You know...
必卡多是短笛的牌子名 Picardo is a brand of piccolo.
你有時候真是個混蛋… You really are an asshole sometimes...
史提非 Stiffy.
美樂電影
哇，快轉台 JlMMY: Man, change the channel, yo.
讓你兄弟認識些酷音樂 Hook a brother up with some mad beats.
你閉嘴好不好？ OSCAR: Will you cut that out?
你叫做吉姆週赫平 Your name is James Hi Ping Chong.
你爸開中國餐廳 Your dad owns a Chinese restaurant.
你住在郊區 你不可能當混混的 You live in the suburbs. You ain't never gonna be a gangsta.
可惡！ Damn!
你好冷酷 JlMMY: That's cold, dawg.