do women know what they want when it
comes to dating sex relationships and
men I've heard it said before that you
can't ask dating or seduction advice for
a woman because it's like asking a fish
how to catch a fish instead of asking
the fisherman and if you think about
that logically that's a really fucked up
analogy because it assumes that women
are a prey that doesn't want to be
caught and that's a really bad mindset -
going to seduction so it's actually more
like asking a fish how it likes to be
fucked by other fish so that's what it's
really like so it is my belief that yes
you certainly can get insight from
talking to women about their desires and
that is definitely how I learned a lot
of my seduction abilities was talking to
women and of course not all women
there's plenty of women just like men
who are completely unaware who don't
really know why they have certain
motivations who are very reactive and
then there's also women that are very
insightful and very intuitive and
understand and can verbalize what it is
that they like and want so in the
lead-up to the re-release of the five
principles of natural seduction which is
my overarching thematic model for
teaching seduction that I teach in my
live courses and on this in this online
course I decided to sit down with five
very beautiful very interesting and
intelligent women myself interviewing
them one on one and then travel by
talking to them as a big group and
having some interesting and fun dialogue
and we recorded over seven eight hours
worth of these in-depth interviews today
I'm releasing some of the highlights
some of the snippets behind the scenes
material and I hope you guys enjoy this
because it gives you some interesting
insights into what's going on inside the
female mind a lot of this reinforced
reaffirmed what it is that we teach at
ml and there were also some interesting
surprises as well so please enjoy inside
the brain of hot girls on tnl couch
well firstly do you have experiences
where men come and approach you in let's
say whatever on the streets or in a cafe
or in bars or clubs is that something
that's happened to you in your life mmm
no not to me
okay so you've never had a man come up
on the street and say like I saw you
there I thought you know you look cute I
wanted to talk to you or something like
that no only in parties okay if you had
if a man was to do that let's say he did
it in a good way
okay so he wasn't creepy or weird but if
you did come and speak to you on the
street do you think you were chattering
me or would you would you be open to
that yeah I would love that because I
think it's it's more easier to contact
it to us in this way and understand
parties and I would think that okay if
he is good-looking and interesting than
anything and not creepy I would say that
oh okay
he isn't really confident okay I love
that you mentioned the word creepy what
does that mean to you like how do you
know if a guy's creepy what tells you is
creepy as opposed to confident well it
is creepy when somebody's just staring
for a minute and not talk to me and he's
just not coming to me just feeling that
is really creepy I think so you had that
experience I guess yes yes many times on
the bus or any van de streek but if a
man was to come in let's say there's two
situations a man comes and says Oh hiya
do you know at the time is or where is
the Starbucks or something some he's
asking some random question as or he
comes over and says I saw you there I
think you look really adorable what's
your name which one's better and why and
I think the last one better
because then I would know that yeah he
really wanted to meet me and I'm just
asking some silly questions right
okay so much better to be queer
yeah excuse yes let's say in a normal
day like I say a Friday from starting
work through to going out partying with
the girls later at night what kind of
attention would you usually be getting
during one day on the street from the
workers sometimes they're you know like
they whistle yeah that's the same
everywhere in the world
hilarious every country in the world
could do that right and in the metro
sometimes you know though months - me
some shop assistants flirting sometimes
what is it what does it feel like to do
that like to have every day being
something where you're the object of
people's attention like does that affect
you in some way you know when I just you
know want to go to somewhere and really
to disappear or just go to the gym and
really just you know don't look at me
then it's not good it it feels awkward
sometimes and it's also not good one
let's say I am standing in a line and
there is in front of me middle-aged
chubby woman and the guy is asking me
what I want and she she was the first in
Starbucks it's not good attention and
this is not a good feeling for me so
yeah so this is for me it's not not a
nice feeling
let the thing eat drink because I feel
that I own something and I don't like
the feeling I can buy this if I want and
you don't I don't know you so why are
you giving me drinks or pretty price or
yeah or free you know like advantages
advantage it yeah because it's not
really free like that yeah because they
expect something bad but believe me if
if I'm interested in you I will I will I
will act the same way if you give me a
drink or if you don't yes
let's say in the afternoon I usually go
to the gym yeah there are some attention
also
from other guys but you know this
attention is or this this dissipation is
nothing not like they don't come to me I
just I just feel that that they look
that they they they might you know ask
some questions but or start commerce
starting motorisation but it's nothing
like they don't ask me to go out or
sometimes you know me they may add me on
Facebook and then they are starting to
message me and then they're you know
like asking me out
etc but that's nice yes that is also
only only time one day they actually you
know like they know that they get drunk
and I have the courage to finally come
and talk to you hmm
yeah okay so and then we add to that all
the social media you have more attention
coming there as well yeah okay so on a
normal day you might I don't know many
many men showing some kind of interest
in you sexual interest in you yeah
whether that's a look or asking a
question in the comment or like there's
plenty of it yeah okay this is I mean
this is interesting for my clients to
know this because like I'm a
good-looking man
but I get if I'm carefully watching
maybe I noticed three girls in a day
looking at me so it's like the amount of
attention that even a good-looking man
gets is tiny compared to what a
good-looking girls getting so I think we
don't understand that there's this huge
amount of and maybe it's not great
attention maybe it's kind of cheap
attention yeah usually do you care for
people guy games like you was clearly
nervous that was being honest with that
volume 100 happened before yes I mean it
can be really cute and and guide like
fake they nervous to try and get the
girl earlier okay let's let's go back in
time
were you with your boyfriend did you did
you ever meet men who randomly
approached you so did you ever go on
dates with guys who either came and
spoke to you on the street or maybe
spoke to you in a social situation of
our club or something like that
yeah or do you have like some hard rule
where you're like I would never go on a
date with a stranger
[Music]
no actually never happened to me did you
mean guys never came and approached you
no no like out of blue I'm like you know
sitting there like you know and as they
at the bar or a front um all extreme
never happened no I'm out right now the
scandal so we if a man had of at some
point in your life come up to you when
you were single and was not a jerk and
spoke to you in a respectful way and was
showed that he was interested in you
would you have gone on a date with him
probably maybe yeah sure well mmm well
that's that's tragedy oh I should have
said no no no the point we're getting
across to the guide is going approach
girls in the street because they are
open to it and what I would say is
because the assumption is most men think
that if a woman is attractive that she
has all the attention she wants that she
has all the options that she wants that
there's no point in him going and
talking to her because she's it would be
a waste of time because she would reject
him cold so all the reasons the guy
didn't come and speak to you when they
could of and and you know you would have
said yes to some of them they just
didn't take that action so that's that's
the whole crux of what our business is
teaching guys to take that action to go
and speak to go on a street or in a
coffee shop or in a bar and like where
to find a girlfriend like and go to a
public library or something value well
they can cut it open anywhere that's the
thing we're not true true any anywhere
as long as you know roughly how to do it
as good ways to do it as bad ways
obviously whistling at a girl on the
street is not good idea no that's like
the thorny turnoff
yeah so okay so how would let's say
hypothetically if you were single how
would you like to be approached by a guy
let's say whatever you're sitting in on
a park bench reading a book what would
be a good way for him to do that mm-hmm
I like to be obviously I would like to
be prepped you know like right right
away um so what would be impressive in
that moment is it impressive at all that
he came to spoke to you at all like is
that showing some kind of bravery or
well I think the way a guy would you
know like speak to me the way would
would like either impress me or not so
if a guy can only pushes me like saying
like oh my god like that the girl might
dream something like that yeah that
would be like a bit of funny and maybe
impressive and but one one once again if
a guy approaches and asks you see the
intention in his eyes that he's kind of
interested but he asked like trivial
questions like what time is it sounds
like that
don't don't don't bother because that if
you want to like you two to get
acquainted yeah just just approach and
and show your intention
so tell me what's what makes a good
lover like what makes him a good in bed
if he's open-minded and he's not that
egoistic you know if he can admit that
okay maybe this was not that good but I
can ask you that why why wasn't it good
for you and he's interested what is good
for me that's the most important what
are some areas that you think men
misunderstand you or and or women like
an area where you're like I wish men
would just understand this I wish that
they would understand that we we don't
expect that's my sad day think but what
you said about the bad I think it's just
you know they put the pressure it's in
their head of course weeks back more
than two or three minutes but this it's
you know two new people meeting it's not
going to be perfect for the first time
and there's you know we are just human
service easy to solve if we speak but
it's oppressed sometimes you know like
over what makes was man a good fuck
what's like some good in bed
okay that he is not selfish but if he
wants something you know say if he wants
or us I can just don't put my head there
just you know like there are many ways
to to suggested suggestive and let I
think to to care not to to use me as a
thing even if it's like a short-term
thing like even if you never see the guy
again
what would be the best way for him to
treat you like it's just okay you meet
at a train station and you're both
passing in different directions and
you're never going to see each other
again but you have an attraction and so
you sleep with the person there's
obviously a good way to do that in a bad
way
mmm I think it's a good way to if he if
he doesn't want to spend the night with
me I mean to actually sleep with me so
and then then he should suggest my place
because then he can leave renting one
and there's no awkward morning for him
because I think many girls they they
want to sleep with with something so if
we have sex we don't we don't wanna run
away mainly I think and it feeds into to
sleep actually together then you know we
should go to his home he's a dragon he
should be like really respectful with me
and not to just because I'm spending the
night with him I think if I don't then
you know like yeah you mean you don't
want to be judged as a slut or whatever
but yeah just because of your decision
yeah it's so like then if you do that
then yeah then then really I don't want
to be there because it's not for items
as to him
okay what about dominance in the bedroom
is that something that's appealing to
you or not appealing to you yeah but I
did a man to be the man yes in my room
sure sure so okay so that's something
that you respond to very well like if a
man is dominant physically and he's
clear about telling you what to do yeah
in a relationship stir you know it can
be a common fantasy but in a one-night
stand I think
it's a very risky thing to be dominant
or not because it canceled also that you
don't respect you don't handle it well
but in a relationship here if you know
if it's a common thing and if you like
to do that and I like like it also then
it is camera right so you're saying if
you're in a situation where you trust
the person you know that they respect
you then you then you feel much more
comfortable comfortable to be submissive
or to like have um take control yeah
whereas you know in a short-term thing
you might worry about your safety or how
he perceives you uh so how what do you
thinks about you yeah okay I think a lot
of guys think that to be good in bed
means you have a lot of technical skills
right so you know some special g-spot
massage and we're serious and you
research some particular sequence of
events may be like okay ABC steps is
that going to be a great lover do you
think every woman grows differently
silver which is good for me maybe not
for someone else but also you know this
it's very very very different with every
one and I think really like I'm just
talking with my girlfriend then someone
can come into like totally different way
that I would never it I would be never
able to write so the important thing is
that he needs to communicate because we
need to ask if it's good and I need I'm
willing to give sign that it's good or
not but he shouldn't think that if he
made a girl come with something then
it's going to work the exact same way
with another girl because it's not are
you like there's a dominant man
physically dominant man
that interesting - you know - thank you
yeah it is I mean I like it and someone
just grabs me and it's mended better or
whatever is there it's like I like to be
donated a bit but not not too much but
like a little bit of like hair pulling
and I don't know what that's fine yeah
it is in 101 basic choking spanking
capilene ah
is it like of course those things are
dependent on certain factors right yeah
what are those factors for you though I
mean yeah unlikely it's going to be with
any random person that you just met but
like what what what did what do you need
to have or what parameters are what
container do you need to have to be able
to explore that side looks like it's
something that I I don't really talk
about I want to talk about it when I'm
in a relationship but I need to have
some trust and I need to feel safe
around that person to talk about it and
and of course it depends on was what is
his reaction because there was one guy
in the past away I told it okay I like
this but I didn't tell him anything
really serious I just told him that I
don't know just some spanking or
something and he reacted very badly that
it's some some disgusting thing that I
want to do and not normal
say I I need some trust like I need or
that's the most important thing for so
the trust is mostly around deep in
judgment like you need to be a you need
to feel like you're not going to judge
you for that question not only is a
judgment that's also like that well of
course after a few weeks you're going to
know that what he's not going to
strangle me to death or something so
it's all about like really trusting him
with being nice and not hurting me and
stopping if I tell them to stop you know
but for me I think it's oh yeah when one
sex is really great and it helps me to
to get a bit more connected my body
let's talk about that thing so what is
it that makes a man a good lover penny
this is a cliche but I think the
communication is most important thing
because if you can speak openly about
anything about sex then it is going to
be great because you know you just have
to really communicate what you want and
what you need and of course there are
some people who are naturally really
good with each other word but usually
there are some problems at first
types of things that you don't fly yeah
so I would say that's that communication
is the most important thing so what what
about is this dynamic of dominance and
Submission so if it's something that
you've said you're curious obviously
within a context where you feel safe and
comfortable what is it that's
interesting about that to you I knew is
really early that I like it and I really
enjoy it and I can tell why it's
interesting for me I mean would feel
like to to be in someone else's power
like that I don't know I mean I'd feel
just really it's a really big turn for
me if I am completely like sensitive and
also that there's not the right words
like wonderful you know so for example
if I'm tied up or something it's really
it's really up to him what he wants to
do to me it's like it's absolutely as
chase and it's it's an amazing feeling
for me because it to do with the fact
that he that your pleadings are natural
if he's like that you're an object of
his desire or something like that
yeah especially a feminist thing to say
look I know Mike my girlfriend is like a
hardcore feminist and she's also a soft
side it's just yeah I understand of the
what happens in the other bedroom
doesn't this doesn't and that need to
correlate okay we're all in this
territory yeah so so yeah it is
sometimes it feels like rude it's like
as if I was just an object of nice neat
desires and and yeah it's weird I was
just thinking about that but usually I
don't get turned on because I see that
he likes it it's just coming from me so
it is there are some situations where
where obviously I get turned on because
I see that he loves what we are doing or
what I'm varying or I don't know and I
just get turned on because he's turned
on but this is absolutely not this is
just about me all right so what makes a
good lover and also what makes a bad
look all right I think once again
confidence so regards the body type you
know like fat thing super skinny you
know I mock up you know it with a beer
belly and the guys should be confident
in his skin so like if a guy you know I
just had sex and like fun and running
running away from me like car keys you
know again junk with a blanket well
that's kind of like it was what's wrong
with you dude I've seen naked guys
that's okay that's not a problem
and so confidence so if a guy wants to
walk around naked
by all means that's that's fine so
that's and I think prone to find more
experiences that's what I think would
make obviously good lover a person who
wants to improve person who looks for
something new or like interesting and
not just you know like want a vision and
that's what are we doing that yeah that
that would be a problem
ages of let's say you mean a guy and
you're having a date or you're you know
the early stages before you sleep
together the first time is it a good
idea for him to touch you or is it good
idea thing to wait until he's got very
clear permission or to wait three days
before he tries to kiss you or do you
prefer things to happen politically to
happen fairly quickly or to that there's
some very clear step-by-step I think a
man should really notice when a girl
want a magic better what do you think
are your signals for you if you if you
want a man to touch you are you
different than when you don't betting my
lips yeah that's one and the long eye
contact and also I always catch him
first okay so in terms of a man
physically escalating touch on you so
let's say from from only from originally
meeting you through to going and kissing
you the first time what's the best way
to go about that do you find it would
you like if a guy expressly verbally
asked the missionary timing wants to
touch you is it something that should be
having gradually in the end kind of
intuitively like how do you like to a
man to progressed physically made' I I
don't like it when someone asks for
permission it's not so romantic and it's
such you know you I think you should
feel it or you should just do what you
want to do like in terms of like a first
case it's usually usually both of you
feel that it could happen I think so you
don't need to ask your permission for if
I don't want it I'm not going to kiss it
and I don't know I think asking for
permission is not really not not turning
anyone on not sexy not not romantic
whatsoever if you let's say you went on
one day it's two days maybe three if you
really thought he was interesting and
he's not making a move he's not touching
you is not getting close to you is not
looking at you would clear intention is
this ruling the sexual tension if it's
ruining his
chances well I think at that point I
would start you know a kind of like
question myself is it something wrong
with me and we're like not you know like
attractive enough or like maybe
something is wrong with me so at that
point I would like start thinking like
what's what's going on like maybe I need
to dress you know like more provocative
I don't know maybe maybe the guys
waiting for me to make a move but I mean
how he wants me like you know to tell
let's let's let's kiss all right let's
have sex
I'm fine I'm ready so you're free to
touch me I don't know what what kind of
messages a guy can can expect I guess he
needs kind of like to make a move you
know like I'm not talking about like you
know grabbing grabbing me like forcing
to do something but like a slight move
and then see whether you know like it's
whether he received the same in return
if the girl says no and the guy's sees
that it's like a really 100% no no just
just as limit based but in the goal is
Kanaka yeah bond
well okay you you have a chance
for you what are what are the qualities
in a man that are most important to be
loyal and to be honest and to be major
enough to be mature enough yes yes yes
yes because I'm living on my own for I
don't know four years now and that's why
I cannot date with some but somebody who
is in their college or something like
that what is the world what does it
mature how do you know a man's mature
aside from if he has a house or some
other thing like that well I think one
thing is that we can discuss about
anything like certain like our
sexualized sexual problems that we have
or what can we but we can change about
our sexual life I think that's the most
important so I know that he is nature
enough to talk about our relationships
and he doesn't afraid to share his
emotions and I know the chemistry is
kind of a hard thing to define but how
do you know when you feel chemistry like
what's the proof to you for me that I
can start thinking about kissing him yes
it's the first sign sure that's a good
sign
in our heart and so we can just feel if
somebody is the same as we are but
chemistry means that I am always open to
talk with that somebody and I can never
get bored with him
and and then I can have sex with him
metal steins yes do you think those
things that a man can do to affect that
to change it mmm I think they piss
confidence yeah what about his attention
and presence it's a good point and that
can help also yes for me it's really
important I contact and I think that's
the most important where but it's also
important to touch me sometimes
that I can feel that yeah he's listening
and he feels like I am attractive for
him and things like that yes okay so why
is it that if a man is confident yeah
why do you care
like what does that do for you okay
let's say I'm a confident like that's
good for me that why is that why is that
interesting to you for me because um
once I had a boyfriend and he never
talked it was like entertaining myself
it's a soul boring I mean I'm not boring
but you know when I'm just keep talking
and talking and it doesn't have any
opinion about anything that is really
boring and I think it was because he
didn't have confident and he couldn't
express his feelings or his opinion or
or anything he is interested in so
that's my confidence show she's having
confidence should be really really
important yeah what what qualities or
characteristics refined that he knows
what she wants and I don't mean it so
he's uh I don't find this word but so he
is very when he he speak he he doesn't
ask me all where should we go because I
don't know so he had some she had some
some concrete in his head so what like
say he invites me to dinner date that he
has something in his mind what to do and
he he never he didn't ask he doesn't ask
me the question that oh I don't know
what should we do or where should we go
yeah I think the word you're looking for
is decisive yeah to make decisions good
yeah okay so this is important for me
and why is that important because I I
don't like one when you know I I hate
this line that whatever for me or it's
fine by me because it's you have always
you have a preference every time if I
ask you a question is in this order
there is nothing between and I think
they are doing these because they want
me to to decide and to decide my - you
know to play you basically to please me
but sometimes it's just annoying for me
right how do you know like what are the
signs or the proof to you that a man is
called from what does that mean is it
about he's got a gun in a car fast car
cool suit or something man what is it ah
his Luke I mean he is that like how he
looks him on me
the way he's my contact ISM yeah but he
keeps eye contact like I do with you now
like he doesn't like I hate when someone
is like you know breaking eye contact
yeah I'll hold it yeah and I think that
you know he also this bird is not only
free yeah
spending more sitting like this and the
way that he speaks the this is not
confident so like he's very like
concrete and he speaks in sentences
nothing in with earth and each word
mm-hmm you've got a lot of choice like
of whether it's great choices or not
great choices there's a lot of choices
so what is it that in that is going to
make one man stand out from that crowd
of 100 guys in a day or whatever that
one I have sex with you which way that
that one of them is going to get a
chance than the others or not hmm you're
just defending maybe you know chemistry
how how how he talked to me
what does chemistry mean to you like
because people say that often in
chemistry how do you know when you go
chemistry with someone
hmm that I when I I think that I you
know my touch me it gives me a good good
dog a good energy mmm
is it to do with the way like how
present he is yeah I think how he
presents itself I don't mean how he
presents I mean how he looks no like
when I say presents I mean like right
now I'm being very present with you
because I'm looking at you clearly and I
mean focused on you and I'm not randomly
thinking about other stuff like if I was
to be doing this interview like this and
and you know looking at my watch
and oh I'm : please PLEASE an unsent
phone all right and not listening to
your answers and if I was doing all
those things you would perceive okay
this guy's not present we would say he's
not aware of me so like how important is
it for a man to be like they are very
important so you should you shouldn't
you should give me the impression that
you you do care of me like I hate from
someone is looking at his phone or
looking not looking into my eyes or just
you know talking with with someone else
II sometimes and this this is not a good
feeling and then I wouldn't be sure if
if he if you want to be with me mm-hmm
I had I had dates like this tell me
about one of those days ah very good
looking guy cinema and before the cinema
we went to eat something and I said I
think he talked with someone else or
somewhat people on his phone them with
me oh I think one of the most important
thing for me is to have a good sense of
humor all right it needs to be be able
to laugh about also serious things and
to go and ferment to be able to laugh
about himself because I really hate
these guys for you you cannot even tell
a joke about some small mistake that he
did or something because they
really upset talk more about that you
deserve
because you I doubt you want to date a
professional comedian no no it's not
like that I talk more about that concept
of like a man who can they can you know
not take themselves so seriously versus
a man who always has to whatever
whatever that means to you and why is
that so important those are important
for me because we meet I personally
really I don't know why we've is not
such a good thing but I really like to
like do you I'll try and say I would
take this second crease yeah like
playful teasing yeah yeah yeah and I
also enjoy when someone is saying that
to me I think that's that that that's
been part of every relationship I had I
think like this teasing and it's not
when I meet a guy who's who gets upset
from that I feel like okay we are not
meant for each other because this is a
big part of my personality and obviously
I don't want to make him feel bad but
also I'm not going to stop doing it
because I enjoy it so what do you enjoy
the kind of banter I think it's like
part of the dynamics of the relationship
because you know it's like these small
things that I tease him and teaches me
it's like the balance is getting
restarted I don't know and he does
something and then I tease him about it
I don't know it's kind of disbalance for
me but maybe I'm not explaining it in
the right way
is there something to do with the
tension like the polarity of like
creating tension and then resolving
tension yeah yes yes because that to
turn on because it's fine yeah that's
what's going on yeah because because of
what the Risley are you are you are you
sometimes to live deliberately a brat so
that you get punished for it oh yeah
yeah I mean I I get more turned on when
someone is teasing me like like when
they are joking
no idea I don't know what good is those
what turns me on
yeah is there any is there any
correlation between men you've been with
or they are randomly different they're
very different but there are some common
things like I really like men with
strong opinions you like you really like
two who are comfortable with with saying
whatever they think you know like we're
not afraid to to not agree with me or to
think in a different way than me and
telling me if I'm not right it's
something and I add it that's another
important thing and it's also important
for me to have some kind of common
interest in like politics and things
that happen in the world because I also
met some guys who were like you know I
don't want to hear word about politics
or anything going on the news because
it's just they think that it's not good
to talk about those things so have you
have you had experience with men who are
obviously trying to please you or trying
to say the right thing yeah one so if
you can make it one that we call or if
not tell me about that in general yeah
there was a there was one guy who who I
didn't I never went on a date with him
he just really wanted to go and I always
taught him that I don't want to go but
he was kind of in the so he's my friend
still or something so he hangs out with
us a lot and whatever said whatever
stupid thing which is of course
sometimes I say stupid things whatever
secret things I said he was he always
agreed with me and he was always having
some fights with my friends because my
friends told me that it's stupid what I
think or what I say or what I want to do
and this guy was always just protecting
me and it's it's that's very weird when
someone does that I mean I don't know
why they think that it's a problem if
you have different opinions about
something and you're always agreeing and
everything then what are you going to
talk about
what do you think it says about is like
why is it unappealing to have a guy
who's trying to please you because many
men would think and we in many minutes I
kind of take a narrative from Hollywood
or from their parents whatever that'd be
nice to girls you know makes you don't
don't be don't ever make them feel
uncomfortable we are gentlemen
they always polite ni sky that kind of
narrative is there a problem with that
narrative
I mean it's others absolutely nothing
wrong with being a gentleman or being
polite but it doesn't mean that you
always have to agree and anything gives
it it's very cool to have some arguments
about like intellectual things or not so
intellectual things it's really great
what is that creative that's like if you
have this tension and then either you
saw it or you have great sex after it
because you have a fight and you cannot
agree on anything so the only thing you
can do what do you think confidence
means in a man like how do you know that
a man is confident like what is it
because I think most people perceive
confidence to be represented by actions
certain actions and possibly also by
these external factors that he appears
to have status that people appear to
respect him or he has money or something
like this whereas I mean there are
plenty of people that are actually very
at ease with themselves and confident
that don't have those things so how do
you know that a man is really confident
if let's say if you didn't have any
there was no external signifiers to you
well obviously you need to talk to him
so you need to start a conversation and
during conversation I think to me
confidence means that a person knows
what you want first of all like in
general in his life in relationship what
he wants how he wants to achieve it and
where he stands right now so that's to
me confidence a guy who is saying no I
don't know what to do with my life maybe
does my beliefs well that's already not
truly attractive at all why is that
what why you care if he feels confident
or not well because in a relationship
you
either a decision-maker or you rely on
your partner or both of partners like
agree on some decision together
and since our or consider myself rather
more logical and rational and prone to
to take actions last talk and take
actions is how I do my life ruin my life
I can put it that way so in a
relationship I don't need to have a
partner as a kid detective seasons for
him I don't mind and don't get me wrong
a partner coming to me asking like I'm
confused I didn't know what to do in
this particular situation that's not the
total I'm talking about but like in
general if a god just sit on his ass and
like he doesn't like his career I mean
there is Korea is not a recent work to
it that way
he does like what he does feel even she
does not like his friends or
surroundings so the question is what so
why don't you want to change it and here
comes well lots of excuses excuses
excuses so that's what I mean ar111
talking about like confidence
decision-making so the benefit to you
from a man being with a man who's
confident is that that you get to move
in a direction together as opposed to
and you need him to be the person that
leads a situation yeah so basically I'm
looking for partnerships so it means
that one partner can be another partner
at some point and what's looser but I'm
not looking for someone who just not
text me by the hand and like organizes
my life for me that's not going to
happen and the same I'm not looking for
partners whom I'll be taken care of I'm
not looking for a kid if I wanted to
have a child I would have a child but if
I look for partnership I need are
unequal
tell me about what makes a bad date a
bad date when you have nothing to talk
about because you have nothing in common
that's the worst that's awkward silence
and you're just sitting down I should
come up with something but I don't know
so that that's that's the worst yes okay
so in that situation a guy sitting there
and he's thinking fuck I don't know what
to say how to not ask her what what
would be your advice in that situation
if you could step out of that date and
go all right everyone stop let's let's
work out how to make this date better
what would you tell that guy I think
there are topics which can be discussed
like traveling the last holiday your
dreams where you want to be what about
what about touch so you talked about how
the you were saying you sometimes touch
the guy I do do that in a way that's
like very obvious or more like it's
almost like an accident
mmm I look like an accident
yes I think everyone does it yeah yes
it's it's I teach that to guys and I
learned that from watching women do it
to me yeah because like girls do that if
they want to touch a guy they don't just
like put their arm around him it's like
they they like leaned across it is yes
and then you're laughing and kind of oh
okay all right so it's you taste
important for a man to notice these
signals yeah have you had have you had
experiences where you were interested in
a guy you're giving him clear signals
and he didn't really notice yes I had it
and it's really awkward because I must
disappointed um maybe he doesn't like me
or what is the problem and you don't
know for sure yeah done so very nice to
me and is it a good idea for a man to
ask like to say hey I want to kiss you
or something or just to try no no never
we can never say
because young woman and I think that the
really good really major guy should
notice that ah she wants to kiss so I do
you look at a man's behavior because I
think he mentioned this earlier when you
said he should be climb and not just to
me but to my friends and you know people
that I know so are you looking to see
the way you treat other people as well
as you yeah like for example if you're
on a date and he was rude to the waiter
would you notice that yes I would not
want another date with that guy because
if I can be some waiter or waitress
then he could be rude with me and it
also suggests to you that even though he
might be perfectly polite to you but
maybe it's bullshit yeah and do you like
it if a man says to you obviously I'm
looking in kind way but like okay I
didn't like this so like this you open
that yes I am yeah because because it
means that he really cares about our
sexual life and he wants it to be good
not just for me but also for him and
that's why the communication is always
the best thing to do do you like a man
to be very dominant in bed not all the
time but welcome to Tanya so let's say
would it help if a guy was only ever
doing very slow and a gentle lovemaking
would that be boring or thankfully
buying yeah because I fear that maybe he
doesn't think that I'm so attractive or
I don't know it wouldn't it would be not
so confident for me tell me more about
what's the opposite of that so okay so
if you in a situation where a man is
let's say too tender and shy commendable
and you fit you perceive that as okay
he's not crazy about me but he doesn't
want to fuck me
all right so so then what is it what is
it for you that if let's say you don't
want you don't like dominance all the
time but let's say if it's something
that's interesting interesting to you
what is about that that turns you all in
or is interesting and I'd really love
and yeah I just I don't know cooking or
something really natural thing we are
doing and he just grabs me and gives me
and tells me that ah okay I just want to
fucking right now and then I say okay
okay yeah so we need to get confident
and and yeah that's the trigger for me
sometimes what do I don't worry about
that that's appealing to you hmm
it makes me feel like I am attractive
and he's really interested in me right
now that's like he can't help himself no
I wait until after dinner
yeah and that makes you feel really sexy
yes what's the best date you know banal
and why the best date I have ever been
it was we went to AI ski and I don't
know how to ice skate but I mean now
maybe I know better don't like them and
you know he was helpful it was funny you
know we drank wine hot wine it was just
we it was mainly about the man not about
the day but it was just funny like you
know it was cold so we we have you know
because I don't know how to ice skate he
holds my hands it helped me to it was
very nice yeah that's funny it's because
that's cool because it's like simple do
you're doing something together you're
like you're learning something there's
reason to touch each other it's not
about money or about impressing each
other it's just like you're sharing
experience so you would say that's like
obviously much better than a guy
spinning taking to the fanciest
restaurant in town
to try and impress you over dinner yeah
and if I could think for second best it
was a dinner what he cooked so it was
impressive because my father can't cook
so I never found man cooking method well
what do you think that is if you think a
man should ask the long dates and should
pay for everything I got a feel about
that kind of traditional chivalrous
dating I don't think he should pay for
everything I mean I'm going to be honest
here I'm I'm happy if he or first to pay
for like the first date if we get a
coffee or something but I expect him to
to let me pay and like the next date so
I really hate it when there's like a
small fight about this because I say
that hey I'm going to pay for this and
he thinks that I'm only saying it to
like as a token yeah but no I really
want to pay so it I like I wanted to be
in a balance yeah that's a very
confusing thing for men because men some
women are like you meeting with many
women expect the man to pay for
everything and so when they say oh hey
they actually know if you did if you
accept the money - is it c4 do so many
stupid things and if you don't want to
feed into operatively yeah yeah so let's
talk about bad dates what are the what
are the exact things that you've noticed
that a patterns that where you like okay
I've seen this before this is boring so
ah when a god is trying way too hard
like he's go all full you know alpha man
this it first of all it's like you see
that the guy isn't really comfortable
playing this role but it feels like like
he's like forced to do it in order in
order to get me and obviously if you are
behaving not the way you are not not not
who you are at the end you can like end
up being frustrated depressed and you
cannot maintain this alpha man like for
the whole length of relationship at some
point it will crack so let's let's
investigate this concept of
the alpha male and the way a man
perceives that he is supposed to act so
he's trying to force certain types of
behavior in order to I guess impress you
- because he presumes that a woman wants
something like that he wants a certain
she wants a certain set of behaviors
well from the culture I came from it
means that a girl is looking first of
all for a protector so like I'm you know
like a little scared girl I would like
to find a man who represents a protector
so like this is my can go to talk about
my troubles and just tell that I don't
know what to do kind of like please help
me out to solve problems for me and so
me and that guy during a date he's
trying to be way too not like protective
but like predicting like you know
rushing in front of me opening the door
that's that's really good saying opening
the door that's what I expect my partner
to do but no need to rush in front of me
because it's already this whole
situation looks more awkward it's not
it's not funny would you say there's a
difference in motivation like what the
reason why he's doing it is important
because let's say if he's running to the
other side of the room and he's and he's
like making a big show of doing all of
these traditional like he's checking the
boxes of five chivalrous dark-chocolate
yeah to me that seems like the
motivation for him to do that is because
he thinks that's what will impress you
as opposed to maybe some other kind of
motivation that you're interested in
that's exactly he thinks that that will
impress me but does it actually come as
natural behavior to him that that that's
what my concern is with a natural
behavior for a guy to run across the
room to get a curd for me he not just
what he thinks I might like I might not
like it at all and I might not even tell
you know like how girls can can can do
they just you know keep quiet and then
just don't answer your calls so you have
the guy's puzzled like what do they do
wrong or what I I don't know I didn't so
yeah when it feels natural yeah just
just do it if you don't just don't seek
for opportunity
seems to show that you can be an alpha
man when opportunities come yeah be who
you are
otherwise it was just just like playing
a game
is it even a good idea to go on a long
dinner date we have to sit opposite each
other for two hours and have this kind
of formal situation no such days
actually balmy warming to hell
extremely extremely warm into hell and I
want once again first of all you need
you need to dress up even the Russian
you have to dress up extra exactly and
is that's that's another kind of like
you know biases but you are Russian so
what does not mean that I have like in a
bunch of high-heeled shoes like mini
dresses exactly and I have a bear in my
kitchen right and a bottle of vodka in
the cabinet
no on them so even even though I'm a
Russian girl we grew up with like with
an image that when you go on a date
first of all a girl also and a partner
should be entertain somehow culturally
so you go to an exhibition so you have
something to discuss you have something
to talk about and during this
conversation you can understand against
a person just hate the art like in
general just don't break up and from
that moment well that I'm just like
roughly speaking not from my own
experience so during this kind of like
conversation about the main topic of
let's exhibition or a movie or like a
theater play you can you can pick the
triggers whether it's worth even to
consider second date
whether it's rude to consider a
relationship and so yeah but if I'm
invited and Wars and multiple occasions
are the first date at the restroom well
that's what we talked about the guy was
sitting across the table wearing suit
alright so we are going to talk about
business probably so here's my sweet
take a look and am I good enough
[Music]
Oh