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Black Adder s04e04
-=风软FRM字幕组=- 翻译:冰棍 校对:梅斯云度 时间轴:静静 VinE
www.1000fr.com presents
主演: 罗温·阿特金森 --- 黑爵士上尉 休·劳瑞 --- 乔治中尉 托尼·罗宾逊 --- 二等兵包里克 史蒂芬·弗莱 --- 梅棋将军 提姆·麦克纳尼 --- 宝贝儿上尉
Sync:FRS@静静 VinE
编剧: 理查德·柯蒂斯 本·埃尔顿
黑爵士 第4季 第4集 大兵再见
- Care for a smoke, sir? - No, thank you.
- 抽口烟吗 长官 - 不 谢谢
- Private? - Thank you, sir.
- 列兵? - 谢谢 长官
Oh, dash and blast all this hanging about, sir.
我们整天就只在此瞎晃荡 长官
I'm as bored as a pacifist pistol! When are we gonna see some action?!
我无聊得如一只有仁慈之心的手枪! 我们何时才能来点真格的?!
Well, George, I strongly suspect that your
乔治 我有种极其强烈的感觉
long wait for certain death is nearly at an end.
你等候已久的送命之日已不远了
Surely you must have noticed something in the air.
相信你肯定在空气中嗅到了什么
Well, of course, but I thought that was Private Baldrick.
这个当然 但是我以为那是 列兵包里克的味道
Unless I'm very much mistaken,
除非我错得惨绝人寰
soon we will at last be making the final big push,
否则我们要展开全面总攻了
that one we've been so looking forward to all these years.
为此我们已积年翘首以盼
Well, hurrah with highly-polished brass knobs on!
棒极了 真该来场光屁股舞!
About time!
该是时候啦!
Hello. The Somme public baths.
你好 这里是索姆河公共浴室 （索姆河战役 一站最惨烈的战斗之一）
No, running, shouting, or piddling in the shallow end.
没人在泳池里乱奔 狂叫或随地大小便
Ah, Captain Darling.
是宝贝儿上尉啊
Tomorrow at dawn.
明天拂晓时分
Oh, excellent!
太棒了!
See you later, then. Bye.
那么稍候见啦 再见
Gentlemen, our long wait is nearly at an end.
先生们 我们漫长的等待即将到头了
Tomorrow morning General "Insanity" Melchett invites you to a mass slaughter.
明天早晨"疯子"梅棋将军 邀请各位参加惨烈的大屠杀
We're going over the top.
我们将当先锋
Well, huzzah and hurrah!
乌拉 万岁!
God save the King, rule Britannia, and boo sucks to Harry Hun!
上帝保佑大不列颠帝国统治者 国王 让德国佬滚去下地狱吧!
Or, to put it more precisely, you're going over the top,
或者说得更具体点 你去冲锋
I'm getting out of here.
我想法子离开这儿
Oh, come on, Cap!
得了 上尉!
It may be a bit risky, but it's sure as bloomin' hell worth it, Gov'nor.
也许这确实有点冒险 但这确实他妈的狗屎值得 长官
How can it possibly be worth it?
这怎么可能值得?
We've been sitting here since Christmas, 1914,
我们自1914年的圣诞节就傻待在此处
during which millions of men have died,
这期间数百万的人都送命了
and we've advanced no further than an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping.
而我们才将战线推进了那么可怜的一小点 连采购了一大堆东西还身患哮喘症 的小蚂蚁爬得都比我们远
No,
噢 但是...
but this time I'm absolutely pos' we'll break through.
但这次我坚信我们能打出个缺口来
It's ice cream in Berlin in 15 days.
15天后就能在柏林舔冰淇淋啦
Or ice-cold in No-Man's-Land in 15 seconds.
或者在15秒内变成无人区里的冰棍
No, the time has come to get out of this madness once and for all.
现在 是时候一劳永逸的逃出这疯狂之地啦
What madness is that?
怎么疯狂了?
For God's sake, George, how long have you been in the Army?
看在老天的份上 乔治 你参军多久了?
What, me? I joined up straightaway, sir.
什么 我吗? 我可是当时即刻就参军了 长官
August the 4th, 1914.
1914年 8月4日
Ah, what a day that was.
多好的日子啊
Myself and the rest of the fellows,
我和一帮伙计们
leapfrogging down to the Cambridge recruiting office
屁颠屁颠的蹦入剑桥征兵所
and then playing tiddlywinks in the queue.
然后在长长的队伍里玩挑圆片
We'd hammered Oxford's tiddlywinkers only the week before, and there we were,
那之前一周我们才把牛津的挑圆片玩家 狠狠的羞辱了一番 然后我们就投身于此
off to hammer the Bosche.
去将德国佬狠狠的踩在脚下
A crashingly superb bunch of blokes...
一帮绝顶棒的伙计们
fine, clean-limbed...
健壮 身材匀称...
even our acne had a strange nobility about it.
甚至连我们的粉刺都闪着高贵的光芒
Yes, and how are all the boys now?
是啊 那帮伙计们现状如何?
Well, ah, Jocko and the Badger bought it at the First Ypres run, unfortunately.
这个 猴仔和小獾子很不幸的 在第一次伊普雷斯战役中牺牲了
What a shock, that.
真是令人吃惊啊
I remember Bumfluff's housemaster wrote and told me that
我记得长毛邦弗洛的舍监给我的信中写道
Sticky had been out for a duck,
屎迪克吃鸭蛋出局了
and the gubber had snitched a parcel sausage end
巴哥摸到香肠包
and gone goose over stumps frog side.
变成红烧天鹅喂青蛙去了
Meaning?
什么意思?
I don't know, sir, but I read in the "Times" that they'd both been killed.
我没搞懂 长官 但是我看泰晤士报上说他们俩都挂了
And Bumfluff himself?
长毛邦弗洛呢?
Copped a packet at Gallipoli with the Aussies.
和澳大利亚人在加利波利战役中受重伤
So did Drippy and Strangely Brown.
坠皮和怪胎布朗也是一样
I remember we heard on the first morning of the Somme,
我还记得来索姆河的第一天早晨
when Titch and Mr. Floppy got gassed back to Blighty.
听说涕祺和软皮先生被毒回英国老家了
Which leaves?
这样一来只剩下?
Gosh, yes, I...
天哪 是啊 我...
I suppose I'm the only one of the Trinity Tiddlers still alive.
我想我是这帮娃娃军里唯一还活着的
Blimey, there's a thought, and not a jolly one.
啊呀 有种想法突然冒出来了 并且是不太令人高兴的那种
My point exactly, George.
恰如我的观点 乔治
A chap might get a bit mis'
我差点迷惑了
if it wasn't for the thought of going over the top tomorrow!
如果不是还惦记着 明天能顶在前面冲锋的话!
Right, sir. Permission to get weaving.
好了 长官 请求允许去自我晃荡
- Permission granted. - Thank you, sir.
- 同意请求 - 谢谢 长官
- Baldrick! - Captain B.
- 包里克! - 黑上尉
This is a crisis... a large crisis.
此乃危机 超级大危机
In fact, if you've got a moment,
实际上 如果你留意到的话
it's a 12-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall,
此乃12集连播的危机 它的门廊无比的华丽
carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage,
屋内铺满豪华地毯 24小时不间断连播
and an enormous sign on the roof saying, "This is a large crisis".
并且有幅超级大号标语悬在房顶 上书"此乃超级大危机"
And a large crisis requires a large plan.
超级大危机需要大手笔计划应对
Get me two pencils and a pair of underpants.
给我两只铅笔和一条内裤
Right, Baldrick.
好啦 包里克
This is an old trick I picked up in the Sudan.
这是我在苏丹学到的老技巧
We tell HQ that I've gone insane,
我们报告总部说我发疯了
and I will be invalided back to Blighty before you can say "wibble"...
在你来得及说"逗你玩"之前 我就将会被做为病患遣返回英国老家
a poor, gormless idiot.
一个可怜的呆头呆脑的傻瓜
Well, I'm a poor, gormless idiot, sir,
我是个可怜的呆头呆脑的傻瓜 长官
and I've never been invalided back to Blighty.
我从未被做为病患遣返回英国老家
Yes, Baldrick, but you never said "wibble."
是啊 包里克 但你从未说过"逗你玩"
- Now, ask me some simple questions. - All right.
- 现在 问我些基本的问题 - 好的
- What is your name? - Wibble.
- 你叫什么名字? - 逗你玩
- What is two plus two? - Wibble, wibble.
- 2加2等于几? - 逗你玩 逗你玩
- Where do you live? - London.
- 你家在哪? - 伦敦
- Eh? - A small village on Mars,just outside the capital city...
- 啊? - 火星上的一个小村庄 就在首都城外
...Wibble.
兜里弯
All the men present and correct, sir. Ready for the off, eh!
所有人都到齐并确认 长官 准备好出发!
I'm afraid not, Lieutenant.
恐怕无法实行 中尉
I'm just off to Hartlepool to buy some exploding trousers.
我正准备去哈特尔普尔市 去采购些爆炸裤回来
Come again, sir? Have you gone barking mad?
再说一遍 长官? 你发羊癫疯了吗?
Yes, George, I have. Cluck-cluck, gibber-gibber,
没错 乔治 是的 嘎嘎 啦啦
my old man's a mushroom, etcetera.
我家老人是只蘑菇 等等
Go send a runner to tell General Melchett
派个传讯员去告诉梅棋将军
that your Captain has gone insane
你的上尉发疯了
and must return to England at once.
必须即刻遣返回英国
But, sir, how utterly ghastly for you!
但是 长官 你这真是倒了八辈子的霉!
I mean, you'll miss the whole rest of the war!
我的意思是 你将与余下的战争无缘了!
- Yes, very bad luck. Beep! - Right.
- 是的 运气真坏 哔哔! - 好吧
Beep!
哔哔!
Now Baldrick, I'll be back as soon as I can.
包里克听着 我将尽快回来
Pap-pa.
爸爸
Whatever you do, don't excite him.
无论如何 千万不能刺激他
Fat chance.
轻松搞定
Now, all we have to do is wait.
我们现在只要静候着就行
Baldrick, fix us some coffee, will you?
包里克 给我们俩煮点咖啡 行么?
And try to make it taste slightly less like mud this time.
这次尽量别再尝起来像泥浆
Not easy, I'm afraid, Captain.
这可不简单 上尉
- Why is this? - 'Cause it "is" mud.
- 为何? - 因为它本来就是泥浆
We ran out of coffee 13 months ago.
我们13个月前就没咖啡了
So every time I've drunk your coffee since,
这么说来我喝了这么久你煮的咖啡
I have in fact been drinking hot mud.
实际上是在喝热泥浆
With sugar.
还加糖的
Which of course makes all the difference.
加糖的话那效果就不一样了
Well, it would do if we had any sugar,
这个 如果我们还有糖剩下的话当然如此
but unfortunately, we ran out New Year's Eve, 1915,
但是很不幸 糖在1915年元旦用完了
since when I've been using sugar substitute.
从那时起 我就一直在使用糖类替代物
- Which is? - Dandruff.
- 那是何物? - 头皮屑
Brilliant.
真是棒极了
Still, I could add some milk this time.
但这次我可以加点牛奶
- Well, saliva. - No...
- 其实是 唾液 - 不
No thank you, Baldrick.
不要了 谢谢 包里克
Call me "Mr. Picky", but I think I'll cancel.
称呼我"挑刺男"都行 但我想我还是不要了
That's probably 'cause you're mad, sir!
竟然这么想 你是疯了吧 长官!
Well, quite.
是的 确实
Well, it didn't go down at all well, I'm afraid, sir.
很抱歉 事情非常不顺利 长官
Captain Darling said they'd be along directly,
宝贝儿上尉说他们将亲自过来察看
But, well, you'd better be pretty damn doolally.
但是 你最好疯得够劲
Don't worry, George, I am... okay, okay.
别担心 乔治 我还...好 好
When they get here I'll show them what totally and utterly bonkerooni means.
等他们来了 我就会让他们好好见识一下 什么是如假包换彻头彻尾的抽羊癫风
Till then, there's bugger-all to do except sit and wait.
在那之前 我们这帮傻蛋只要坐着傻等就行
Oh, I don't know, sir. We could have a jolly game of charades.
也许吧 长官 或许我们可以 愉快的玩玩猜哑谜
Ooh, yes!
噢 好啊!
And sing along with musical hits, like "Birmingham Bertie",
同时再高唱热门歌曲 比如"伯明翰的万能管家"???
and "Whoops, Mrs. Miggins, You're Sitting On My Artichokes."
或者 "糟糕 米根斯太太 你正坐在我的萝卜棒上"
Yes, I think bugger-all might be rather more fun.
是的 我想傻等可能会更加有趣些
Permission to ask a question, sir.
请求允许提问 长官
Permission granted, Baldrick,
同意请求 包里克
as long as it isn't the one about where babies come from.
只要你不问婴儿从哪钻出来就行
No. The thing is, the way I see it,
不 问题是 我的看法是
these days there's a war on, right?
现在我们在打仗 是吧?
And ages ago, there wasn't a war on, right?
但很多年前 并没有战争 是吧?
So there must have been a moment
所以一定有那么一段时期
when there-not-being-a-war-on went away,
未战无战远离我们
and there-being-a-war-on came along.
将战要战摸过来
So...
所以...
what I want to know is,
我想知道的是
how did we get from the one case of affairs
我们如何由此事之果
to the other case of affairs?
知彼事之因?
Do you mean, how did the war start?
你是不是想问 战争因何而生?
Yeah.
是的
The war started because of the vile Hun
战争爆发是因为凶残的德国人
and his villainous empire-building.
还有德国邪恶的帝国扩张
George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe,
乔治 大英帝国现在拥有四分之一个地球
while the German Empirec consists of a small sausage factory In Tanganyika.
而德国才在坦桑尼亚的坦噶尼喀 有个巴掌那么大的小工厂
I hardly think we can entirely be absolved from blame on the imperialistic front.
如果说帝国扩张是战争起因 我们罪大了
Oh, no... no sir, absolutely not.
没有...没有 长官 绝对没有
Mad as a bicycle.
疯得像个自行车
I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke
我听说战争爆发是因为有个名叫大公的傻蛋 I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke
shot an ostrich because he was hungry.
杀了只鸵鸟 因为他饿了
I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot.
我想你指的是战争爆发是因为 奥匈帝国的大公被枪杀了
No, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir.
不 绝对和鸵鸟有关 长官
Well, possibly.
这个 有可能
But the real reason for the whole thing
但是这整件事的真正原因
was that it was just too much effort not to have a war.
是因为做了太多的努力避免战争
By gum, this is interesting! I always loved history...
天哪 太有趣了! 我可是爱死历史了
the Battle of Hastings,
哈斯丁战役
Henry Vlll and his six knives, all that.
亨利八世和他的6把刀子（刀子和妻子谐音） 之类的东西
You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe,
瞧 包里克 为了避免欧洲爆发战争
two super-blocs developed...
出现了两大超级集团
us, the French, and the Russians on one side,
我们 法国和德国在一边
and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other.
德国和奥匈帝国在另一边
The idea was to have two vast, opposing armies,
原意是组建两个庞大的对立的军事集团
each acting as the other's deterrent.
两者互相威慑??
That way, there could never be a war.
那样的话 战争永远都不会找上门来
But this is a sort of a war, isn't it?
但这算战争吧 是么 长官?
Yes, that's right. There was a tiny flaw in the plan.
是的 没错 知道吗 计划有那么一点儿小缺陷
- What was that, sir? - It was bollocks.
- 是什么 长官? - 满篇胡说八道
So the poor old ostrich died for nothing.
那么可怜的老鸵鸟死得一文不值
Heads up!
立正!
Right, they're here.
好了 他们来了
Baldrick, you keep him warm. I'll go and prepare the ground.
包里克 你守着他 我去迎迎他们
- Sir. - George. How's the patient?
- 长官 - 乔治 病人怎样啦?
It's touch and go, I'm afraid, sir.
很遗憾 病情一触即发的样子啦 长官
I really can't vouch for his behavior...
我真的不能保证他的行为会怎样
He's gone mad, you see, stir-fry crazy.
他疯了 知道吗 那疯劲蹿得和火苗子一般高
- I see. Is this genuinely mad? - Oh, yes, sir.
- 知道了 真的是疯了吗? - 是的 长官
Or has he simply put his underpants on his head
还是他就在脑门子上套了条内裤
and stuffed a couple of pencils up his nose?
往鼻孔里插两只铅笔?
That's what they all used to do in the Sudan.
他们过去在苏丹常玩这套花招
I remember I once had to shoot a whole platoon for trying that.
我记得有次我不得不枪毙了一整个排 就因为他们耍这个滑头
Well, let's have a look at him.
让我们去看看他
'Tention!
立正!
And the other thing they used to do in the Sudan
他们过去在苏丹惯用的另一招
was to get dressed up like this and pretend to be mad.
就是穿成这样装疯
So, don't let me catch you trying that one, Baldrick,
所以 别让我抓到你想这样做 包里克
or I'll have you shot, all right? Dismissed.
不然我会枪毙你的 懂了吗? 解散
Well, hello, sir. Didn't hear you come in.
你好 长官 没听到您进来
Now then, Blackadder... they tell me you've gone mad.
这么说来 黑爵士 他们告诉我说你疯了
No, sir. No, no, must be a breakdown of communications.
没有 长官 没有 没有 一定是误传
Someone obviously heard I was mad with excitement
很明显是有人听说我高兴得发疯
waiting for the off.
随时准备好冲锋
You see, Darling, I told you there'd be a perfectly rational explanation.
看到了吧 宝贝儿 我告诉过你肯定有合情合理的解释的
- Right, George, have your chaps fall in. - ???
- 好啦 乔治 让手下人集合吧 - 好的 长官
Well, it's rather odd, sir, the message was very clear.
这太奇怪了 长官 消息非常的清楚
Captain Blackadder gone totally tonto.
黑爵士上尉已经彻底疯了
Bring straitjacket for immediate return to Blighty.
请携带拘束衣将其即刻遣返回英国老家
Don't be ridiculous, Darling...
别犯傻了 宝贝儿
The hero of Mboto Gorge, mad?
包头裹鸡的英雄 疯了?
You've only got to look at him to see he's as sane as I am.
瞧瞧他就知道他和我一样正常
Baaaa!!!!
咩咩咩
Would that be the Mboto Gorge
包头裹鸡是不是那个
where we massacred the peace-loving pygmies of the Upper Volta and stole all their fruit?
在上沃尔特国我们屠杀了爱好和平的俾格米人 并抢走他们所有水果的地方?
No, a totally different Mboto Gorge.
不 一个完全不同的包头裹鸡
Oh.
哦
Cup of coffee, Darling?
来杯咖啡 宝贝儿?
Oh. Thank you.
哦 谢谢
- Baldrick, do the honours. - Sugar, sir?
- 包里克 请招待一下 - 要加糖么 长官?
Three lumps.
三块糖
Think you can manage three lumps, Baldrick?
你可以弄出三块糖来吗 包里克?
I'll rummage 'round, see what I can find, sir.
我四处挠挠 看能淘出多少 长官
Make it a milky one.
多加点奶
Coming up, sir!
就准备好 长官!
Well, George, you must have been delighted to hear the news of the big push.
乔治 你听到全面总攻的消息一定非常开心
Absolutely, sir. Our chance to show the Hun
当然是的 长官 是时候给德国佬们瞧瞧
that it takes more than a pointy hat and bad breath
光凭着戴顶尖帽子 口臭熏天
to defeat the armies of King George.
可打不垮伟大乔治国王的军队
That's the spirit!
真是这股劲!
Here you are, sir.
请用 长官
Ah, cappuccino.
哇噢 卡布奇诺
Have you got any of that...
你有没有那么些...
any of that brown stuff you sprinkle on the top?
撒在上面褐色的东西
- Well, I'm sure I could... - No. No.
- 这个 我相信我能... - 不 不行
'Tention!
立正!
Fine body of men you've got out there, Blackadder.
你可有副健壮的身子骨啊 黑爵士
Yes sir, shortly to become fine bodies of men.
是的 长官 但是很快就会 变成精炼的骨子架了
Ah, nonsense... you'll pull through!
胡说八道...你会幸存下来的!
I remember when we played the Old Harrowians back in '96,
我还记得1896年那会儿和 那帮哈罗公学出来的家伙们玩球的时候
they said we'd never break through to their back line,
他们叫嚣我们绝对突破不了他们的后防线
but we ducked and we bobbed and we wove
但我们左突右晃 闪躲迂回
and we damn well won the game 15-4.
我们最后15比4赢了比赛 真他妈爽
Yes sir, but the Harrow fullback wasn't armed with a heavy machine gun.
是的 长官 但是哈罗公学的后卫 可没有装备重机枪
Good point... make a note, Darling.
噢 说得真好 记下来 宝贝儿
Recommendation for the Harrow governors:
写给哈罗公学校长的建议
heavy machine guns for fullbacks.
请为后卫装备重机枪
Nice idea, Blackadder.
好点子 黑爵士
Now then, soldier,
那么 列兵
you looking forward to giving those Frenchies a damn good licking?
你期待着大大的舔一口那帮法国猪吗?
Uh, no sir... it's the Germans we shall be licking.
不 长官...对象应该是德国人
Don't be revolting, Darling!
别恶心人了 宝贝儿!
I wouldn't lick a German if he was glazed in honey!
如果德国人不全身裹蜂蜜 我才不会去舔呢!
- Now then, soldier,do you love your country? - Certainly do, sir!
- 那么 列兵 你爱你的国家么? - 当然爱 长官!
- And do you love your King? - Certainly don't, sir!
- 你爱国王吗? - 当然不爱 长官!
And why not?
为什么不爱?
My mother told me never to trust men with beards, sir.
我妈妈教育我绝对不要 相信长胡子的男人 长官
Excellent native Cockney wit!
绝妙的地道伦敦本土谚语!
Well, best of luck to you all.
祝你们大家好运
Sorry I can't be with you, but obviously there's no place at the front
很抱歉不能和你们一起 但是明显前线可容不下
for an old general with a dicky heart and a wooden bladder.
心衰肺痨的老将军
By the way, George,
另外 乔治
if you want to accompany me back to HQ
如果你想在指挥部陪着我
and watch the results as they come in,
等待战果的话
I think I can guarantee a place in the car.
我想我能帮你留个位置
No, thank you, sir.
不 谢谢 长官
I wouldn't miss this show for anything.
我绝对不想因任何事错过这场演出
I'm as excited as a very excited person
我激动得宛如一个有非常恰当理由激动的
who's got a special reason to be excited, sir.
非常激动的人 长官
Excellent! Well, chuff chuff, then.
很好! 那么 拜拜啦
See you all in Berlin for coffee and cakes.
我们柏林再会共享咖啡和糕点吧
Right.
是
What is the matter with you today, Darling?!
你今天搞什么鬼 宝贝儿?!
I'm so sorry, Blackadder. Come on, Darling, we're leaving.
我真的非常抱歉 黑爵士 走吧 宝贝儿 我们走
By Jove, sir... I'm glad you're not barking anymore.
朱庇特主神保佑 长官 很高兴你不再乱吠了
Thank you, George. Although quite clearly, you are.
谢谢 乔治 虽然很明显你...
You were offered a way out, and you didn't take it.
你有条退路可走 但是你却没有接受
Absolutely not, sir. I can't wait to get stuck in to the Bosche.
当然不能接受 长官 我可等不及狠狠地扁德国佬了
You won't have time to get "stuck in to the Bosche".
你不会有时间去 "狠狠地扁德国佬"
We'll all be cut to pieces by machine-gun fire before we can say "charge."
我们还没来得及高喊"冲锋" 就都会被重机枪撕得粉碎
- Right. So what do we do now? - Shall I do my war poem?
- 是啊 现在我们该做些什么? - 我能念我的战争诗吗?
How hurt would you be if I gave the honest answer,
如果我说实话你会有多伤心
which is, "No, I'd rather French-kiss a skunk".
我的回答是 "不 我宁愿和臭鼬来个法式湿吻"
So would I, sir!
我也是 长官!
All right. Fire away, Baldrick.
好吧 你念吧 包里克
Hear the words I sing,
* 听我高唱 *
war's a horrid thing.
* 战争是个可憎的玩意 *
So I sing, sing, sing,
* 所以我唱啊 唱啊 唱 *
ding-a-ling-a-ling.
* 叮啊 叮啊 叮 *
Bravo! Yes!
好极了! 太棒了!
Well, it started badly, and it tailed off a little in the middle,
开头很糟糕 中间变化了少许
and the less said about the end the better,
结尾越简短越好
but apart from that... excellent.
但是除此之外 棒极了
Shall I do another one then, sir?
那么我能再念一首吗 长官?
No, we wouldn't want to exhaust you.
不 我们可不想累坏你
Don't worry. I could go on all night.
别担心 我可以念一整晚
Not with a bayonet through your neck, you couldn't!
穿个刺刀在你脖子上 看你怎么念!
This one is called "The German Guns".
下首诗叫做 "德国枪林"
Oh, spiffing! Yes, let's hear that.
太好了! 我们来听听这个
*Boom boom boom boom!*
* 嘣 嘣 嘣 嘣! *
*Boom boom boom.*
* 嘣 嘣 嘣 *
*Boom boom boom boom!*
* 嘣 嘣 嘣 嘣! *
*Boom boom boom?*
* 嘣 嘣 嘣? *
How did you guess, sir?
你怎么猜中的 长官?
I say, sir, that is spooky!
我得说 长官 你真是神啦!
I think I've got to get out of here!
对不起 我想我得从这出去!
Well, I have a cunning plan, sir.
我有个绝妙的计划 长官
All right, Baldrick. For old time's sake.
好吧 包里克 看在以前的情份上
Well, you phone Field Marshal Haig,Sir,
你打电话给陆军元帅海格 长官
and you ask him to get you out of here.
然后你要他把你从这弄出去
Baldrick, even by your standards,
包里克 即使是照你的标准
it's pathetic.
这样也很可悲
I've only ever met Haig once.
我这辈子只见过陆军元帅海格一次
It was 20 years ago, and... my God, you've got it!
那还是20年前 那时... 我的天哪 你说对啦!
You've got it!!!
你说对啦
Well, if I've got it, you've got it too, now.
太好了 如果我说对了 你就知道了
I can't believe I've been so stupid.
我真不敢相信我怎么这么蠢
One phone call will do it.
打一个电话就可以搞定
One phone call and I'll be free.
打一个电话我就自由啦
Let's see. It's 3:30 am,
瞧瞧 现在是凌晨3点半
I'll call about quarter to six.
我在5点45分打电话
Excellent, excellent. I'll get packing.
太棒了 太棒了 好啦 我去收拾东西
You know, I won't half miss you chaps after the war.
战后我会想念你们的
Don't worry, Lieutenant. I'll come visit you.
别担心 中尉 我会去看你的
Will you really? Oh, bravo! Yes!
真的吗? 好的 太棒了!
Jump into the old jalopy
跳上那小破车
and come down and stay in the country.
到我那乡下多待一会
We can re-live the old times.
我们可以重温下往日时光
What, dig a hole in the garden,
是么 在园子里挖个洞
fill it with water,
倒满水
and get your gamekeeper to shoot at us all day?
然后再让你的猎场看守员 整天拿我们当靶子么?
That's the thing I don't really understand about you.
这就是我真的搞不懂你的地方啦 上尉
I mean, you're a professional soldier,
我的意思是 你是个职业士兵
and yet sometimes you sound as if
但是很多时候听起来
you bloody well haven't enjoyed soldiering at all!
你根本不喜欢这士兵生涯!
You see, George, I did like it
知道么 乔治 我曾喜欢过
back in the old days
在那过去的日子里
when the prerequisite of a British campaign
但是英军战役的先决必备条件是
was that the enemy should under no circumstances carry guns.
敌军绝对在任何情况下都不能持有枪械
Even spears made us think twice.
即使对方装备长矛 我们都得三思
The kind of people we liked to fight
我们愿意面对的敌人得是
were two feet tall and armed with dry grass.
两英尺高 以干草为武器
Now, come off it, sir.
哦 得了吧 长官
What about Mboto Gorge, for heavens' sake!
看在老天的份上 那包头裹鸡的事呢!
Yes, that was a bit of a nasty one.
是啊 那事确实挺棘手的
Ten thousand Watusi warriors,
一万名瓦图西战士
armed to the teeth with kiwi fruit and guava halves.
用猕猴桃和番石榴瓣武装到牙齿
After the battle, instead of taking prisoners,
战斗结束后 我们并没有收押囚犯
we simply made a huge fruit salad.
而是做了一份巨大的水果色拉
No, when I joined up,
唉 我参军的时候
I never imagined anything as awful as this war.
我从未幻想过和这场战争般糟糕的东西
I'd had 15 years of military experience,
我从军15年
perfecting the art of ordering a pink gin
研究点苦味杜松子酒的艺术
and saying, "Do you do it doggy-doggy" in Swahili.
以及用斯瓦希里语说 "你提供服务吗 小家伙?"
And then suddenly,
然后突然
four and a half million heavily armed Germans hove into view.
四百五十万武装到牙齿的德国人冲了过来
It was a shock, I can tell you.
说实话 真是把我下巴都吓掉了
I thought it was going to be such fun, too.
我也以为应该会很好玩
We all did...
我们都那么认为...
joining the local regiment and everything.
去当地征兵处什么的
Turnip Street Workhouse pals...
萝卜街贫民工厂的兄弟们
it was great, I'll never forget it.
真棒 我永远都忘不了
It was the first time I ever felt really popular.
那是首次我感到如此的受欢迎
Everyone was cheering, throwing flowers.
大家都在喝彩 抛花束
Some girl even come up and kissed me.
有些女孩甚至冲上来亲吻我
Poor woman... first casualty of the war.
可怜的女人... 战争的第一批牺牲者
And I loved the training.
我还喜欢训练的时候
All we had to do was bayonet sacks full of straw.
我们只要拿刺刀扎稻草袋就行了
Even I could do that.
甚至连我都知道做
I remember saying to my mum,
我还记得和我老妈说
"These sacks will be easy to outwit in a battle situation."
"在战斗中 很容易智取这些稻草堆"
And then, shortly after,
然后很快
we all met up, didn't we?
我们就见面了 不是吗?
Just before Christmas, 1914.
就在1914年圣诞前
Yes, that's right.
是啊 没错
I had just arrived,
那时我才刚到
and we had that wonderful Christmas truce. Do you remember,Sir?
我们经历了一场很棒的圣诞停火 你还记得吗 长官?
We could hear "Silent Night"
我们聆听着歌曲"平安夜"
drifting across the still, clear air of No-Man's Land.
在寂静空旷的无人区久久的盘旋
And then they came, the Germans,
然后他们来了 那些德国人
emerging out of the freezing night mist, calling to us,
由寒冷的夜雾中显身而出 呼唤着我们
and we clambered up over the top
我们爬出战壕
and went to meet them.
去见他们 （一战中确有其事）
Both sides advanced more during one Christmas piss-up
双方在圣诞鬼混中推进的距离
than they managed in the next 2 1/2 years of war.
比剩下2年半还要多
Do you remember the football match?
你还记得那场足球赛吗?
How could I forget it? I was never offside.
记得 我怎能忘记? 我绝对没有越位
I could not believe that decision!
我真不敢相信那判决!
And since then,
自那之后
we've been stuck here for three flippin' years.
眨眼间 我们被困在这儿三年啦
We haven't moved!
我们从未挪过窝!
All me friends are dead...
我所有的朋友都死了...
my pet spider Sammy,
我的宠物蜘蛛山米
Katie the worm,
小虫虫卡蒂
Bertie the bird,
小鸟鸟贝蒂
everyone except Neville the fat hamster.
所有都死了 除了肥鼠纳维
I'm afraid Neville bought it too.
很遗憾纳维也去了
I'm sorry.
对不起
Neville gone, sir?
纳维也去了 长官?
Not quite gone.
没有完全死透
He's in the corner, bunging up the sink.
它就在角落 水箱里呢
Oh, no!
噢 不!
It didn't have to happen, sir!
这本不该发生 长官!
If it wasn't for this terrible war,
如果不是这场该死的战争的话
Neville would still be here today,
纳维今天就该还在这
sniffling his little nose and going "Eek!"
抽着它的小鼻子 吱吱叫
On the other hand, if he hadn't died,
从另一方面来说 如果它还没死
I wouldn't have been able to insert a curtain rod
我就不能将窗帘杆
in his bottom and use him as a dish mop.
从它后面插进去 把它当洗碗布了
Why can't we just stop, sir?
我们为何不能停止呢 长官?
Why can't we just say,
我们为何不能说
"No more killing, let's all go home."
"不再有流血 让我们都回家"
Why would it be stupid just to pack it in, sir, why!
为何它蠢到不能停止 长官 为什么!
Now, look here...
听着 看这边...
you just stop that conchie talk right now, Private.
你给我闭上那张自掏良心的臭嘴 列兵
It's absurd, it's Bolshevism, and it wouldn't work, anyway.
真是荒谬 满是布尔什维克思想 而且反正这又行不通
Why not, sir?
为什么不呢 长官?
Why not?
为什么不呢?
W-w-w-well, you mean, why wouldn't it work?
为...为 你指的是 为什么它行不通吧?
It wouldn't work because... they're...
它行不通是因为...它们...
Now you just get on with polishing those boots,
你继续去擦鞋算了 行吗
and let's have a bit less of that lip.
让我们耳根清静点
I think I managed to crush the mutiny, sir.
我想我成功镇压一场兵变了 长官
Just think, in a few hours, we'll be off.
只要想着 再过几个小时 我们就出发了
Of course, not that I won't miss all this,
当然 我不会错过的
but, ah, we've had some good times,
但是 啊 我们有过那么些快乐时光
we've had some damnably good laughs, eh?
我们都爽快的好好笑过 是吗?
Yes. Can't think of any specific ones, myself, but...
是啊 但是具体的 我怎么一点也想不起来
Darling.
宝贝儿
Sir!
长官!
No, no, sit, sit.
不用 不用 坐下 坐下
Can't sleep either, eh?
也睡不着 是吗?
Uh, no, sir.
是的 长官
Thinking about the push, sir.
在想总攻 长官
Maybe the Bosche will forget to set their alarm clocks,
也许那些德国佬忘记上闹钟
still be in their pajamas when our boys turn up.
等我们的人冲上去 他们还穿着睡衣窝着呢
Yes, yes.
是啊 是啊
I've been thinking too, Darling.
我也在琢磨 宝贝儿
Sir?
长官?
You know, over these last few years,
你知道 在这过去几年
I've come to think of you as a sort of son.
我视你如亲子
Not a favorite son, of course.
当然并不是最喜欢的那个儿子
Lord, no,
天哪 绝对不是
more a sort of illegitimate backstairs sprog, you know...
更像是那种偷偷在 后院藏着的私生子 你懂吧...
a sort of spotty squit that nobody really likes,
那傻不拉叽 没人喜欢的小不点
but, nonetheless, still fruit of my overactive loins.
但是 不管怎样 还是我那过于活跃的腰的产物
Thank you, sir.
谢谢 长官
And I want to do what's best for you, Darling.
我想为你做最好的安排 宝贝儿
So I've given it a great deal of thought,
所以我琢磨了很久
and I want you to have this.
我想让你收下这个
A postal order for 10 shillings.
一张10先令的汇票
No, sorry.
不 对不起
That's my godson's wedding present.
那是我教子的结婚礼物
Ah! Here.
啊! 在这
Uh, no sir, this is a commission for the front lines, sir.
呃 错了长官 这是调任上前线的命令书 长官
Yes.
是的
I've been awfully selfish, Darling,
宝贝儿 我把你留在这儿的做法
keeping you back here
真的是非常自私
instead of letting you join in the fun and games.
没让你去游戏和享受其中的乐趣
This will let you get to the front line immediately.
这份任命书能让你即刻加入最前线
But...
但是...
B-b-b-but sir, I-I don't want to.
但...是 长官 我不想
To leave me? I appreciate that, Darling,
不想离开我? 我真的非常感动 宝贝儿
but, damn it, I'll just have to enter Berlin
但该死的 我只得孤身一人进柏林了
without someone to carry my feathery hat.
不再有人帮我拿羽毛礼帽了
No, sir... I don't want to go into battle.
不 长官... 我不想去打仗
Without me? I know. But I'm too old, Darling.
是因为我不能同去吗? 我知道 但是我太老了 宝贝儿
I'm just going to have to sit this one out on the touchline
这次我就坐在后边线
with the half-time oranges and the fat wheezy boys
和一帮老太太老头们???
with a note from matron
在护士长的监护下待着???
while you young bloods link arms and go together
就让你们这帮 充满活力的年轻人一起手挽手
for the glorious final scrum-down!
一同冲向那光荣的最终大混战!
No, sir!
不 长官!
You're... you're not listening, sir.
你...你根本没听进去 长官
I'm begging you.
我求你啦
Please...
求求...
for the sake of all the times
看在往日的情分上
I've helped you with your dickie bows
我帮你弄过那娘娘气的领带
and your dickie bladder...
还有你那破膀胱
Please, don't make me...
求你啦 别让我...
Make you go through the farewell debagging ceremony in the mess?
让你穿成这个鬼样去参加脱裤告别晚会?
No, I've spared you that, too,
不用 我特许你不用参加
you touchingly sentimental young boobie.
你这个多愁善感的小家伙
No fuss, no bother.
不要悲伤 不要叹气
The driver is already here.
司机已经在等着了
But...
但是...
No, no, not a word, Kevin,
不 不 不用多说 凯文
I know what you want to say, I know.
你想说些什么我都知道 我都知道
Goodbye, Kevin Darling.
再会了 凯文·宝贝儿
Goodbye, sir.
再会了 长官
It stopped raining at last, sir. ???
雨终于停了 长官 很抱歉
Looks like we might have a nice day for it.
看来会是个好天气
Yes, it's nearly morning.
是啊 快天亮了
So it is, right.
是的 是的
Time to make my call.
是时候打我的电话了
Hello. Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig, please.
你好 请接陆军元帅道格拉斯·海格爵士
Yes, it's urgent.
是的 非常紧急
- Haig. - Hello, Sir Douglas.
- 海格 - 你好 道格拉斯爵士
Who is this?
你是?
Captain Blackadder, sir.
黑爵士上尉 长官
Erstwhile of the 19/45th East African Rifles.
以前是19/45东非来福枪营的
Good Lord! Blackie!
我的天哪! 小黑子!
Yes, sir.
是的 长官
- Haven't seen you since... - '92, sir. Mboto Gorge.
- 好久没见你了 自从... - 自从1892年 包头裹鸡
By jingo, yes.
没错 是的
We sure gave those pygmies a good squashing.
我们狠狠的教训了一下那些俾格米人
We certainly did, sir.
确实是的 长官
And do you remember...
不知你是否还记得...
My God, yes.
我的天哪 还记得
You saved my damn life that day, Blackie.
那天你救了我这条命 小黑子
If it weren't for you, that pygmy woman
幸亏有了你 不然那个俾格米婆娘
with the sharpened mango could have seriously...
可能就会用那个锋利的芒果...
And do you remember then
你是否还记得之后
that you said that if I was ever in real trouble,
你承诺如果我碰上任何麻烦
if I ever really needed a favor,
如果我真的需要帮助
I need just call you, you'd do anything you could to help me?
我只要给你打一个电话 你就会竭尽全力帮我?
Yes, yes, I do, and I stick by it.
是的 是的 没错 我会守信的
You know me, not a man to change my mind.
你了解我 我是个守诺言的人
No, we've noticed that.
是的 我们都知道
So what do you want? Spit it out, man.
那么你想要什么? 说出来吧 伙计
- You see, sir,
长官 你瞧瞧
it's the big push today,
今天就将总攻了
and I'm not all that keen to go over the top.
我不是那么渴望头一波上阵
Oh, I see.
噢 我知道了
Well...
这个...
It was a viciously sharp slice of mango, wasn't it, sir?
那真是一把削铁如泥的芒果刀 是吗 长官?
Well, this is most irregular, but, um...
这个 这真的是严重的违反纪律 但是...
All right, if I do fix it for you,
好吧 如果我帮你这个忙
I never want to hear from you again, is that clear?
日后我绝对不想你再来找我 懂了吗?
Suits me, Dougie.
没问题 小格子
Very well. Listen well, Blackadder.
很好 仔细听好了 黑爵士
I won't repeat this.
我不会说第二遍的
Put your underpants on your head
把你的内裤套在头上
and stick two pencils up your nose.
将两只铅笔插进鼻孔
They'll think you're crazy and send you home.
他们会认为你疯了 将你遣返回家
Right. Favour returned.
好了 人情还清了
I think the phrase rhymes with "clucking bell".
我想这句话和"鸡鸣曲"非常押韵
Does that mean you'll be going over the top now, sir?
这意味着你也要上前冲锋吗 长官?
Field Marshal?
陆军元帅?
Ha ha!
哈哈
Well, not quite, Blackadder.
这个 没有完全说中 黑爵士
At least not yet.
最起码现在还不是
No, I just wanted to let you know
不 我只是想让你知道
that I've sent a little surprise over for you.
我给你捎去了一点儿小惊喜
Sir!
长官!
- Captain Darling. - Captain Blackadder.
- 宝贝儿上尉 - 黑爵士上尉
Here to join us for the last waltz?
来和我们共跳最后一支华尔兹?
Um, yes.
嗯 是的
Tired of... folding the General's pyjamas.
厌烦了...老是给将军叠睡衣
Well, this is splendid comradely news!
这真是 真是凸显同志之情的好消息啊!
Together we'll fight for king and country
我们将一同为国王和祖国奋战
and be sucking sausages in Berlin by tea time!
到下午茶的时候就能在柏林啃香肠了!
Yes, I hope their cafes are well-stocked.
是啊 我真希望他们的咖啡保存得不错
Everyone seems determined to eat out the moment they arrive.
看样子所以人都准备 着一到就大吃特吃了
Really, this is brave, splendid and noble!
是的 这就是勇敢 壮丽而又高贵!
- Sir? - Yes, Lieutenant?
- 长官? - 什么事 中尉?
I'm... scared, sir.
我害...怕 长官
I'm scared too, sir.
我也害怕 长官
I mean, I'm the last of the tiddlywinking leapfroggers
我的意思是最后一只来自于1914年那个金夏的???
from the golden summer of 1914. I don't want to die.
蹦蹦跳跳的无聊小青蛙 我不想死
I'm really not overkeen on dying at all, sir.
我真的一点也不想死 长官
How are you feeling, Darling?
你觉得怎样 宝贝儿?
Um, not all that good, Blackadder.
感觉不是那么好 黑爵士
Rather hoped I'd get through the whole show.
真希望我能撑过这一切
Go back to work at Pratt & Sons,
然后回去"帕若特和孙斯"工作 (Pratt & Sons 著名的动物标本制作公司)
keep wicket for the Croyden gentlemen,
为克里登的绅士们开门
marry Doris.
娶多丽丝为妻
Made a note in my diary on the way here.
在我的日记上
It simply says ..."Bugger".
上面只写道..."浑蛋"
Well, quite.
是啊 说得对
Let's move.
我们动身吧
Fix bayonets!
检查刺刀!
Don't forget your stick, Lieutenant.
别忘了你的棍子 中尉
Rather, sir.
好的 长官
Wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this.
面对重机枪时我可不想没有这玩意
Listen... our guns have stopped.
听... 我们的炮击停了
You don't think...
你不会是指...
Maybe the war is over.
也许战争结束了
Maybe it's peace!
也许世界和平了!
Well, hurrah!
好啊 太棒了!
The big nobs have got 'round the table
那些大人物开始谈判
and yanked the iron out of the fire!
将我们从水深火热中拯救出来了!
Thank God! We lived through it!
谢天谢地! 我们活下来了!
The Great War... 1914 to 1917.
这场大战 从1914年到1917年
Hip hip... Hooray!
嗨 嗨 万岁!
I'm afraid not.
恐怕不是如此
The guns have stopped because we're about to attack.
炮击停止了是因为我们该进攻了
Not even our generals are mad enough to shell their own men.
我们的将军们还没蠢到炮轰自己人
They think it's far more sporting to let the Germans do it.
他们觉得让德国人来会更加的公平
So we are, in fact, going over?
那么我们 确实将要 冲锋陷阵了?
This is, as they say, "it"?
这就是 他们口中的 "最后"?
I'm afraid so.
很抱歉 是的
Unless I can think of something very quickly.
除非我的脑子能忽然想到别的
Company, one pace forward!
都有了 向前一步走!
There's a nasty splinter on that ladder, sir,
长官 梯子上有个该死的刺
a bloke could hurt himself on that.
会伤到人的
Stand ready!
预备!
I have a plan, sir.
我有个妙计 长官
Really, Baldrick?
真的吗 包里克?
A cunning and subtle one?
一个狡猾而又绝妙的计划?
Yes, sir.
是的 长官
As cunning as a fox
和狡猾的狐狸般绝妙
who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?
而那只狐狸刚被任命为牛津大学的狡猾教授?
Yes, sir.
是的 长官
At the signal, company will advance!
等待信号 集体冲锋!
Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait.
很遗憾计划只能推迟了
Whatever it was, I'm sure it was better than my plan
不管它是什么 我敢肯定它总比我那
to get out of this by pretending to be mad.
装疯逃出这里的计划好
I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?
我的意思是 谁会在意这儿还有个疯子呢?
Good luck, everyone.
祝你们好运 朋友们
Charge!!!
冲锋!!!
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