[music playing]
Are you the man?
I am the man.
One, two, three Xs buys you one, two, three bits of ecstasy.
[inaudible] Let me just show you where to get more.
Oh, my gosh.
[scream]
[theme music]
WOMAN [SINGING]: We never thought about the place
where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone.
We'll never let you go.
Don't need the mission to decide what you believe.
Oh!
To jump down on Jump Street.
Take off down on Jump Street.
Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You'll find you need us because there's no one else to call.
And if it's hopeless, a decision is what you need.
You got to be ready to, be ready to jump!
21 Jump Street.
But we have to accept the terrible fact that our friends
have died for what?
For a moment of ecstasy?
Very smart, but we don't have to follow them.
We can help each other be free.
That's the real ecstasy.
And how do we start?
Simple.
We start with no secrets.
We take a test.
Then we all know who's free and who needs help.
Vote for the drug test.
Vote to be free.
Coach Pembroke, can we get you to wear one?
Uh, I'm still thinking about it.
What, you don't like the color?
There is a future for your used car sales.
All right, all right.
[bell]
Miss Webb, so nice to see a conscientious citizen.
What are you wearing?
What, you don't like the color?
Doug, I just don't see how drug
tests are going to keep anyone from getting high who wants to.
You read the autopsy report.
That kid ate 400 milligrams of ecstasy.
Yeah, so a drug test isn't going to help him.
You just don't want to take it.
Doug, when was the last time you had to urinate into a cup?
I won $5.
Yeah, well, I voted against it.
[cough]
Still got that cough, huh?
Yeah, it's going away.
So how's assistant coaching?
Oh, painful.
You're supposed to coach, not play.
Well, I'm not playing.
So why does your neck hurt?
It's not my neck.
It's my throat.
Oh, no, you're catching my sore throat.
No, no, from yelling.
Drive to the hoop. Rebound!
Get out the girls locker room!
Rough life.
Well, you know, somebody has got to do it.
Billy, that's not funny.
DR. CRANSTON [ON SPEAKER]: This is Dr. Cranston,
the vote is in.
Roosevelt High School has voted 1,134 to 204
in favor of a universal drug test for the student body.
Congratulations.
[applause]
Any student testing positive for drugs
will be suspended from extracurricular activities,
assigned a drug-free buddy, and be
required to attend to mandatory counseling sessions.
This really sucks.
How did you vote?
Vote, me?
Why bother?
Soc has got it all wrapped up.
Ladies.
I voted against it.
Hey, it's a free country.
I hope so.
But the vote has gone against you.
[yelling]
COACH: Let's go, get out there!
That's what I want to see.
Nicely done there.
Let's go. Come on.
Concentrate.
Come on. - Move it.
COACH: Come on.
Let's go.
There we go, nicely done.
COACH: All right, good one, good one.
JEFF: You're late, Godwin, again.
[whistle]
You're a pain, Godwin.
Godwin, it would be nice if you, uh, operated on team time
rather than your own for once.
Over to me, people.
DOUG: Come on, hustle up!
Take a knee!
Here we go.
I don't have to tell you gentlemen
how important the next few weeks are to this team's
taking home the state trophy.
So I would advise all of you to drink a lot of water tomorrow
morning and all day tomorrow, and most important,
don't forget to use the facilities before you
come to school, all right?
Hey, Coach, relax, we're not going to have a problem.
I know I won't.
I'm not taking the test.
JEFF: You've got to.
No, I don't.
We voted, man.
This is high school, not Congress.
You know what they're going to think.
COACH: Hey!
I know what I'm going to think.
COACH: Hey!
This is for the principal to decide.
The hell it is.
I came to play ball.
Call me when you want to do that.
Part of playing ball is being a team player.
The rest of the team is taking the test.
Hey, Coach, very interesting advice you gave back there.
We're not the boy's parents.
We're not their moral keeper.
I'm their basketball coach.
Well, as their basketball coach,
aren't you concerned about the star player?
- Who, Godwin? - Yeah.
Oh, he'll take the test.
He better.
He's our only chance of going to state.
Do you know what these things catch?
Well, I hear coke is gone after two days,
but grass, one puff lasts a week.
What about ecstasy?
[gasp]
You were at that party?
How did you-- come here.
How-- how did you get invited?
Well, I don't know, you know, if there's
going to be any more parties.
Why?
Is everybody afraid the stuff is bad?
No way, it's not bad. I took some.
A lot of kids took some.
I'm still alive.
So why isn't there going to be any more parties?
Well, everyone's afraid to ask.
The police are like all over anyone who was there.
Well, I got nothing to hide.
Hey, you're on.
Find out for us.
I go here?
No, you send in the money, and then they
send you back an invite with the time, and place, and an X.
And for each X--
You get a hit.
[music playing]
Face me, please.
TEACHER: Open your envelopes.
If you find a red armband, it means you've tested drug free.
You may also find the name of someone
who did not test drug free.
This person will be your drug buddy.
Hey, I guess ecstasy is like coke.
It' gone after a couple of days.
Hi there, Judy.
What do you want?
I got an assignment in my packet.
I'm your drug buddy.
That can't be.
[music playing]
I can't believe this.
I can't believe I'm sitting here because some high school got
hysterical.
Ah, look, when they test that big a population,
there's bound to be some mistakes.
You're damn right it was a mistake.
Maybe it was something I ate, poppy seed strudel, herbal tea,
my last three cough medicines.
No, it was probably lab error.
That's why it's standard procedure to retest you.
Well, sign me up.
It's also standard procedure to suspend you.
What?
But I just got a lead on how the ecstasy parties work, Captain.
Judy, you tested positive for amphetamines.
There's no way around this.
But you know I don't do drugs.
What I know has got nothing to do with it, all right?
I mean, the test says you're a speed freak.
You don't believe me.
Oh, come on, of course I believe you.
Look, Judy, I'm not the one we have to convince, all right?
Now they want you to check in the Mercy
Hospital for an examination the sooner you do it, the better.
Why don't you just get out the cuffs?
Ah, Jude--
Fine.
Ah, Judy, uh, you know you've got to-- to brief McCann now.
Fine.
And Hoffs, I have to take your badge and your weapon.
Judy, the truth will out.
PLAYER: [inaudible]
COACH: Make a right.
OK, [inaudible].
This is really stupid.
You want to join the team, take the test.
- Life ain't tough enough, huh? - Go to hell.
What's the deal?
You take the test.
If it comes up positive, you get counseling.
You get better.
We all get better.
Lucky you, great for the team.
I don't care about the team.
OK, you care about me.
I lost some friends to needles.
So that means I take drugs?
No.
That means it's OK to barge into my body,
and barge into my life, and check me out?
You know where I've heard that line before?
From a lot of screwed-up people.
Look, I don't drive a bus.
I don't fly a plane.
I just want to play ball.
And I won't be left alone.
No, no, no.
Wait!
I thought I was supposed to be an extra man here.
What's the deal?
Ah, McCann.
No, no, not the turtle.
Come on, not the turtle.
Come on.
McCann!
Yo, yo, yo, yo, come on.
Yo, yo, yo?
Yes, score!
Yeah!
All right.
[electronic sounds]
[phone ring]
Woo hoo!
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
My office.
Ah-oh.
Aren't these things for 12 year olds?
No, it's relaxing, sir.
Oh, is it 5 o' clock already?
No, I mean, focusing, sir.
You see, when you're in sync with the game,
they get these alpha rhythms like meditation, you know?
It can give you great insights. - Oh, really?
Yeah.
And did your horoscope tell you that you
would meet your destiny today?
Horoscope, sir?
It's a joke, McCann.
What do you got?
Well, the address Hoffs gave me is a PO box.
It's registered to a Party Dude Industries.
Now, the whole thing was arranged by mail.
So--
All right, who picked up the money?
Well, nobody saw squat.
So I decided to wake up the nightwatchman.
He said that about two weeks ago,
a tall kid in a Roosevelt jacket came by at about 3:00
in the morning and left.
Now he said the kid's arms are full of stuff.
Hmm.
That could be the dead kid, or it could be this Bill
that Penhall is interested in.
Or it could even Jeff Chandler, drug
crusader and chemistry ace.
- Chemistry ace? - Yeah.
I had a chance to go to over his files
this morning when I was registering.
The kid's practically Hamorski's teaching aide.
Yeah, but that's kind of like suspecting Nancy Reagan,
isn't it?
Well, yeah, but, well, Darth Vader did turn out
to be Luke's father, you know?
Listen, why don't you go back to the school?
See just how close you can get to this Jeff, all right?
All right.
OK.
The A button is for fire. B is for jump.
[electronic sounds]
[crowd sound]
Hey.
Hi.
I guess you heard about me, eh?
Yeah.
It figures.
Uh, Fuller is kind of worried about you.
Glad to hear it.
He feels real lousy.
Well, not quite as lousy as I am, Doug.
So what are you going to do, just sit around and feel lousy?
Actually, no.
I thought I'd sit around and make you feel lousy too.
You know all that stuff you heard
about misery loving company?
Uh-huh.
Big exaggeration, terrible lie.
You know, we all know that suspension is a real crock.
Fuller spent three hours on the phone after you left.
There's nothing he can do about it till they
get the test results back.
So what am I supposed to do till then, just sit around
and wait?
Well, suspension means you ain't going to get paid.
But it doesn't necessarily bar you from the chapel.
Are you suggesting I work for free?
I didn't think this was about money.
You're right, it's not.
Anybody from downtown finds out I'm hanging around the chapel,
bug the hell out of them.
Good.
Any recent surgical procedures,
such as gallbladder, appendix, abortion?
Why do you need to know that?
A prescription painkiller can test as an opiate.
But I tested positive for speed.
That was four days ago, honey.
If you're smart, it's out of your system.
Now get down.
We'll be doing a gas chromatography.
Are you trying to tell me I can never
prove that test was wrong?
There's only one test that can prove drug use in the past.
Now, if you stand here and put your right arm over your head
while you hold the cup in your left hand--
No.
Now honey, I'm a nurse.
I don't care if you're my mother.
I won't do it it's not going to clear me for the speed.
Now what's this other test?
We don't do it here.
What is it?
It's very expensive.
You'll have to pay for it because radioimmunoassay
is not covered.
They cut 50 hairs off your head.
Hair?
They test hair?
Yes.
They can determine amphetamine use for six months,
with hair your length, maybe longer.
Well, go, cut, now.
[tire squeal]
Hi, Captain.
Oh, Judy.
Look, I know I'm suspended, but I just can't sit
home and do nothing, you know?
Judy, this is Inspector Nickerson, Internal Affairs.
Inspector.
I need to schedule you for an appointment, Miss Hoffs.
Going on a fishing expedition?
[chuckle]
No, no, this is just a little chat about your file.
My file?
What's going on here?
Uh, just routine.
I want to know what this man is doing with my file.
Miss Hoffs.
Detective Hoffs.
You are currently suspended, Miss Hoffs.
And I'm sure you're aware that any officer who is a user
is particularly vulnerable when confronted
with a large amount of product.
Are you accusing me of scooping?
Captain, you're just going to stand here and let this--
I've never stolen anything in my life.
Well, we'll see.
Please be in my office tomorrow at 2:00.
[music playing]
[sigh]
[music playing]
NICKERSON: Well, I'm sure the credit check will be fine.
So why don't you just go ahead and do the paperwork
on that little red car of mine?
Ciao.
Loan officers appreciate confidence.
You know, where-- you were just telling me why you made three
large cash withdrawals in May.
Well, I had three large bills.
Ah.
My dentist, my mechanic, and I took a vacation.
But cash, Miss Hoffs?
I mean, most people pay in checks.
Well, the truth is, I--
I haven't been able to balance my checkbook since I was 16.
So I tried cash, except for mortgage, gas, and electricity.
And you moved your account to a new bank, First City State
Savings and Loan, February 6.
Well, that was my mother's suggestion,
you know, start fresh, have every penny accounted for.
And she gave me some extra cash for a cushion, you know?
My mother suggested it.
Well, let me suggest a scenario.
On January 28, you busted a speed operation
while your partner went for backup.
You were left alone with one dead body
and a large supply of speed.
Now, for a user like you, that's tempting.
So you scooped a few bags, half for yourself, half for sale.
You dumped it cheap, $4,000.
You put it in cashier's checks, and you
used it to open a new account.
You took the money from your old account
and used it for your personal use.
Now by May, you had a major league habit.
So you started drawing cash until the June bust.
Well.
I've got it.
You think you're Humphrey Bogart.
No, I think you're an addict.
Oh, get a life.
OK, let's wait for the test results, shall we?
You know, I couldn't have made you take that test.
I'm so glad you took it on your own.
MAN: So the other guy says, well, I'm a septuagenarian.
Hey, Jude, it's so nice to see you too.
Where is it?
Where's what?
That report on the drug bust I did last January.
It's not here!
That's it.
What's going on?
Hey, hey, hey.
Look, you, talk.
I've got nothing to say.
It's me here, kemosabe, the guy who you babysit--
Do you know what happened to me?
Yeah, you got a false positive.
So what?
So false doesn't a matter, Doug.
Positive does.
Positive gives me one big red mark on my jacket.
No matter how hard Fuller erases it,
there's always going to be this whisper,
she tested positive once, you know?
Sorry, Detective, your testimony is no good.
They'll pull up your record in court.
Well, gee, Hoffs, we'd love to promote you, but you know,
there's that thing with the drug test, remember?
What are you babbling about?
Everybody knows you're not a user.
Everyone who knows me.
But guys like that worm down at Internal Affairs,
they can make my life into whatever they please.
All he needs is that hair test to come back positive,
and I'm done.
Well, you know it's not going to come back positive.
I knew the other one wasn't going to come
back positive too, and it did.
I have no idea why.
You know, I know it probably would have caused trouble
in the school, but I wish to god I
hadn't taken that stupid test.
Hey, whoa, whoa, where are you going?
The coach says, if I don't take the test, I can't play.
So?
So I got to play.
Hoops is all I really care about.
What about your principles?
You care about that?
Weren't you the one saying life is tough enough already?
I was wrong.
You were right.
Right.
I walk down the halls, and I get hissed at.
All of a sudden, I'm the evil one around here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're a damn commie psycho pinko troublemaker.
So what?
Thanks.
I hope you're not using.
If you are, get help.
Either way, you got to stand up for your principles.
You have the right to say no to this test.
[door knock]
Hey, is Hamorski in here.
JEFF: He took his kid to the doctor.
Oh, uh, you need an assistant?
No, just a suck up.
Jeff Chandler.
Tony March.
Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you.
Oh, wait a minute, Tony March.
Watch this.
[explosion]
Whoa!
That's pretty cool.
Do you always hang out after school and do chem experiments?
I got to get a 4.0 to get into MIT.
Oh, you want to be a chemist.
Chemical engineer.
There's more money in that.
Yeah?
I always wondered what a chemical engineer does.
They make a lot of chemicals, which
in turn, make a lot of money.
Like what?
You know, like, uh, additives for your car, or adhesives,
or--
Synthetic drugs maybe?
No, you don't have to be a chemical engineer
to make stuff like ecstasy.
Hell, I could make that stuff right now.
Really?
Yeah.
Of course, I would never be slimy enough to do it.
What I wouldn't give to get my hands on the guy that is.
Any idea who that is?
No.
Could be anybody.
He shoots.
He misses.
Do you need a ride or something?
No. Thanks, man.
I got my own car, man.
You know who can probably tell us
who is supplying the ecstasy.
He shoots.
He misses again.
He might even be supplying himself.
The crowd commits harakiri.
Blood is everywhere.
I didn't think you'd be dumb enough to do that stuff here.
Jeff? Old Jefffie.
Scum, you're scum.
Hey, hey, cut it out, man.
This isn't the way to deal with this.
You're right.
I know exactly what to do.
Nazi.
You know, I feel sorry for you.
Come on, man, you're my witness.
Now You didn't smell any alcohol?
No, I-- I didn't smell anything.
I'm no expert, but, uh, the guy's words
were a little slurred.
Thanks, Tony, we'll take it from here.
I just can't believe that Bill will do anything--
Look, the kid is a loner, and given his refusal
to take the drug test--
What?
You think Bill's using now?
What I think is one of my team members is dead.
What I think is my best players are at each other's throats.
What I'm saying is there's things going
on we don't know about here.
Do you think that any of the team
know who cooked up that batch of ecstasy?
I beg your pardon.
Just that the police said that there was a homemade batch.
Do you think that any of the team--
I didn't know that.
What?
Well, I thought it was brought in.
It was some gang or something.
No.
Now really think, is there any reason,
any reason at all, why Bill would refuse to take that test?
No.
I can't think of a reason.
I wish to god I could.
[bell]
[music playing]
[whispering]
Hi.
All right.
Back in business.
Party.
No, thanks.
What's going on?
That's my locker.
I'm afraid your performance on the court today
gives us probable cause, Mr. Godwin.
Please don't.
I'm deeply sorry, Bill.
Isosafrole?
What's isosafrole?
It's one of the chemicals needed to make ecstasy.
It was you, you're the chemist.
You killed them.
[electronic sounds]
CAPTAIN: Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, yes.
Yes, yes, yes!
No, darn!
Captain.
Yo?
We got to talk about--
Woo hoo!
Fifth level.
You've been working, huh?
Hey, watch out for that--
Ahh!
Black turtle, safe.
Here.
Take this back, man.
I hate this game. - What?
No alpha rhythms?
No, no, not less alpha rhythms or irritants.
I guess you two came by to be congratulated
on the collar, huh?
Actually, uh, well, we think we got the wrong man.
We think it was a frame up.
Because?
I spent some time with this Bill Godwin.
I think he's a really good kid.
Yeah, he's a smart kid too.
I mean, if he was the cook, why would he
be stupid enough to draw attention to himself
by not taking the test?
So how do you explain the isosafrole in the kid's locker?
Somebody put it there.
Any idea who?
Well, maybe Jeff Chandler.
He's one step ahead of the game all the time.
He was at the locker when they opened it.
Yeah, he does have a flair for chemistry too.
No, no, guys, I mean there are--
there's 64 kids at Roosevelt High in drug rehabilitation.
I mean, they have hope because of Chandler.
Now why would he be selling the kids drugs at the same time
as he's talking them out of taking them?
What do you want us to do?
Why don't we keep the kid in stir for a while, you know,
so the cook thinks that the frame worked.
Then Penhall, I want you to go visit him as a concerned coach
and lean on him.
JUDY: Woo hoo!
Woo!
It's negative.
It's negative
Congratulations, Judy.
Thank you, Captain.
I, um, know it's not official yet, but welcome back,
Detective Hoffs.
I suppose you'd like your old assignment back.
Well, first I have a little job to do at Internal Affairs.
Ahh.
[buzzer]
Nickerson.
No, no, don't let her back in.
Just tell her I'm--
Dead?
Mr. Nickerson, I have something I'd like you to read.
I've read it already.
Oh, but I'd like the pleasure of hearing
you read it again aloud to me.
Miss Hoffs.
Detective Hoffs.
Is this really necessary?
It was an honest mistake.
Well, it's just that I'm thinking
about filing a complaint.
All right, "subject's hair showed no sign
of prescribed drug use."
That's terrific.
"Given the length of the hair, we
would estimate that the subject had not been involved in drug
use in the last nine months."
Excuse me?
Nine months.
Now, would that cover the time that I developed
my major league habit?
Seem to.
I'm sorry.
Yes, it would.
Ah.
The original positive results seem to be
a case of cross reactivity.
An antibiotic cough medicine taken by the subject
produced an amphetamine-like trace,
which the test could not distinguish
from actual amphetamines.
Oh, that has a ring to it, don't you think?
An amphetamine-like trace.
I will expect a written retraction for my file
with your name on it.
Of course, look, if there's anything I can do.
Mr. Nickerson, about your car loan--
My car loan?
Oh, you know, the little red convertible
with the special speakers and the CD.
Yes.
Well, I ran into that guy you had on the phone the other day.
Your, um--
- My loan officer? - Yeah.
He's a nice guy, nice guy.
We had a little chat.
But I'm afraid I let it slip about your gambling habit.
Gambling?
I didn't get into detail, but he seemed disappointed
that you even gambled at all.
What gambling habit?
Your secretary tells me that you buy a lottery ticket
every Wednesday, sometimes two.
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Did I jump to a conclusion?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You'll probably get your loan anyway.
I only flashed my badge once.
I don't understand.
I just don't understand.
What don't you get?
I believed in you.
Is this the first time you've ever been disappointed?
I stood there in front of the coach
and told him you had principles.
I do have principles.
Of what, a junkie, which is to deny over and over again.
I'm not a junkie.
Two people saw you strung out on the playground.
I don't care.
I'm not a junkie.
Well, what are you then, a drunk?
No.
I'm a--
What?
Come on, if you tell me, I can help you.
I have to take phenobarbital.
Sometimes it has side effects.
What?
I'm, uh, an epileptic.
Why didn't you say something?
I haven't had a seizure in over two years.
I don't want people to know.
They treat you differently when they know.
This, uh, drug--
Phenobarbital.
It shows up positive on the test?
The test just like heroin.
I would have had to explain, I--
I couldn't do that.
They watch you.
They watch you, and they never forget.
They just wait.
You would have to tell somebody.
No.
The principal, the school nurse.
When I made first string, my mom told the coach.
Coach Brandon knew?
Yeah.
He knew why you wouldn't take the test?
Yes.
DOUG: The coach is our man.
Godwin's epileptic.
The coach knew that, let the whole school crucify him so he
could set him up as a dealer.
We had a look at his records.
It looks like he flunked Med school,
but not before he took Chem 1 and Chem 2.
Well, we've got the means, ladies and gentlemen.
We got the motivation.
Now we get the opportunity.
Look what's going around school again.
You figure he's that stupid?
Well, he could be that greedy unless he's got other clients
other than Roosevelt High.
All we gotta do is take out that PO box, see who shows up.
Yeah, but whoever shows up will
probably just be a messenger.
So don't pick him up.
Let's see if he leads us to the cook.
OK, let's go.
I want to see who this guy is.
One other thing, guys.
We're lucky enough to be led to that lab.
Remember, be very careful.
There's bound to be ether there.
That stuff is very volatile.
Do not discharge your weapons.
[music playing]
All right, we've got our man, and he's a she.
It's one of Hoff's buddies from the school.
She's headed your way.
Jeanine.
[music playing]
[door knock]
Oh, ether.
Let's go back to the car.
Hello, Jeanine.
Judy.
Coach, what are you doing here?
Arresting you.
What?
We're police officers.
I'll go get our loving coach.
Doug, what are you doing here?
You're under arrest.
Oh.
Not without the evidence.
Did that hurt?
It really looked like it hurt.
[groan]
Bender, you.
Officer Penhall, did Godwin know about this practice?
Some things are going to take a little time.
I know. I know.
I just want everything to be all right.
You can't make everything all right.
You helped a lot of people. You should be proud of that.
But I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
Godwin, you're late.
Hey, man.
I'm sorry.
DOUG: All right, cut out the sentiment.
I'm only the assistant coach for one more day.
Lap lines, move it, monkeys!
Move it!
[music playing]