Lulu! 天哪! Kate 这是Lulu Lulu! Oh, my God! Kate, this is Lulu.
她可以算是我妹妹 She's basically my sister.
Melody 这是Crying Colin Melody, this is Crying Colin.
我不会跟你约会的 I am not going on a date with you.
你会活活吃掉我的 You'll eat me alive.
Sam 和Fred! Sam and Fred!
- Fred?! 她是谁? - 嗨 - Fred?! Who's she? - Hi.
- 我听说了你爸的事 我很抱歉 - 嗯 - I heard about your dad, I'm sorry. - Yeah.
我真的想知道你对我是什么感觉 I actually want to know how you feel about me.
- Lu 我已经和Kate... - 傻瓜! 我开玩笑的! - Lu, I have been in love with... - I'm joking, you dick!
本节目含粗俗语言 This programme contains strong language,
成人幽默及裸体 adult humour and some nudity.
可爱的低天花板 Lovely low ceilings,
微弱的光线 very little light.
四层楼 每层十二个房间... Four floors, 12 rooms on each...
每个房间都住了不同口味的神经病 every one occupied by a different flavour of lunatic.
- 我跟你一层? - 你走运了 小公主 - Am I on your floor? - You're in luck, princess.
上周一个杂技艺术家 A trapeze artist got
因为朝窗外拉屎被赶走了 evicted last week for shitting out the window.
所以 搬家礼物 So, moving in gift.
- 好好照顾它 - 谢啦 - Never leave that unattended. - Thanks.
你现在有事么? What are you doing now?
想做爱么? Do you want to make love?
明天可能可以 Maybe tomorrow.
我现在要去找份工作 I've got to find a job
一扇门 and a door
还有身份证 所以... and an identity, so...
祝你好运 Good luck with that.
觉得这里怎样？ What do you think?
这是我见过最酷的地方 This the coolest place I've ever seen.
你会适应的 you'll get over it.
Sam 早上好 Morning, Sam.
噢 天哪 你的表情! 你的表情! Oh, my God, your fucking face! Your stupid face!
天哪 你看上去真伤心 Oh, my God, you were so sad.
你现在要干什么? What you doing now?
要去工作 Got work, actually.
想一起看部爱情喜剧片么? Want to watch a rom-com?
现在? What, now?
可能就看看开头 Maybe just the beginning.
这才对嘛 That's the spirit.
她能留下实在是太好了 It's so great she's staying.
她打算在这里干嘛? What's she going to do here?
- 不知道 她挺随心的 - 是么? - Dunno. She's pretty spontaneous. - Is she?
那她 想去柏林之类的地方么? Does she, like, go to Berlin and stuff?
我们确实去过柏林 We did go to Berlin once, yeah.
哇 真酷 Oh, cool.
搞定了! Done!
进来吧 Just get in.
来吧 我又不是没见过你的裸体 Come on, I've seen you naked before.
宝贝 跟他们讲讲发生了什么 Tell them what happened, baby.
好 嗯 就是... Yeah, so, um...
我正准备去洗澡 I was just preparing to get into the bath.
我转过身...像这样 I turned round... Like this.
...然后突然闪光 闪啊闪 还有火花... ...and then suddenly there was just flashes, flashes, sparks...
- 天哪 发生了什么? - 浴缸炸了 - Oh, my God. What happened? - The bath blew up.
- 额 它没有... - 天哪 怎么回事? - Well, it didn't... - Oh, my God. How?
- 我只是... - 天哪 你没事吧? - I was just... - Oh, my God, are you OK?
- 没事 - 天哪 - Yes. - Oh, my God.
- 你还好吧? - 我只是受到了点惊吓 - Are you OK? - I'm a bit shaken, actually.
好吧 那些光是... OK. The lights came from...
- 你受伤了么? - 额... - Are you hurt? - Well...
- 你受伤了? - 没有 - Are you injured? - No.
你毁了我的电影! You ruined our movie!
走吧 Fred Come on, Fred.
我得去上班了 抱歉 Sam 抱歉 Kate I really have to go to work now. Sorry, Sam. Sorry, Kate.
- 我希望一切... - 不 - I hope everything... - No, you have to bunk off with me.
- 我真的不能 - I really, really can't.
- 我很抱歉 - 不不不 但我需要你 - I'm sorry. - No, no, no, but I need you.
你还好么? Are you OK?
算了 闭嘴 去上你的班吧 Yeah. Shut up. Go to work.
那个就像闪电... So, it was like lightening just...
谁上班的地方有职位空缺么? Does anyone have any openings at their work?
我什么都能干... 医学 广告... I'm up for anything... medicine, advertising...
没有 No.
字幕 I felt the heat.
Melody 你今天要干嘛? Hey, what are you doing today, Melody?
我想再见到你的朋友 可爱的小Colin I want to see your little Colin friend again.
不 Melody 他现在很不好过 No, Melody, he's going through a very difficult time.
我们要跟物业讲下浴缸的事么? 浴缸真的还好么? Do we need tell management about the bath, or is the bath OK?
我可能会死掉 I could be dead.
没人检查下浴缸么 Did no-one check the bath?
天哪 那浴室! Oh, my God, the bath!
啊 c'est pas vrai Kate 做点什么! Ah, c'est pas vrai. Kate, do something!
- 那个架子 - 噢 好吧 你们这群混蛋 - The shelf. - Oh, OK. Fuck you all.
行行行 我会修好那个危险的浴缸 Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, I'll fix the danger bath,
修好那个架子 put up another shelf,
给我可怜的同事安排约会 set up dates for my fragile work colleagues,
在我赶去上班前... 在那我甚至连一个接线员都没有 before running to work... where I don't even have a receptionist
没错 我就该把这些破事搞定 and yes, I am supposed to be sorting that out as well.
字幕 So, if any of you can tell me where I can find one of those
字幕 in the next five minutes, I would really fucking appreciate it.
字幕 OK. So... It will ring, you pick up,
字幕 ask who it is,
字幕 remember the name or write it down,
字幕 then press the name on the switchboard,
字幕 tell THEM who it is
字幕 and if they want to speak to them, put them through,
字幕 if they DON'T want to speak to them,
字幕 go back and take a message.
字幕 Ok...
字幕 which bit do I pick up when it rings?
字幕 You pick it up...
字幕 Sorry, is this a joke?
字幕 No, It's just...
字幕 So much happens so fast.
字幕 Yeah, it's harder than it looks, I've always thought that.
字幕 Ah!