1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,570 Now! It's comin'.. 2 00:00:05,370 --> 00:00:07,130 No, that's not it.. 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:28,580 Yep. No. Yep. No. Yep. No. Yep. No. Yep. No..... 4 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,750 ~ Naboolio, why did you have to go? ~ 5 00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:49,510 ~ Naboolio, we really loved you so! ~ 6 00:00:50,060 --> 00:00:56,140 ~ I heard you sing, you had a velvet voice. The way you danced, I really had no choice. ~ 7 00:00:56,380 --> 00:01:01,360 ~ Naboolio, why did you leave us so? ~ 8 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:08,010 ~ Naboolio, why did you have to go? ~ 9 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:14,830 ~ -Boolio, Boolio, why did you have to go, leave me solo? -Give it up now, for Naboolio. ~ 10 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:21,160 ~ -Boolio, Boolio, why did you have to go, leave me solo. -Give it up now for Naboolio. ~ 11 00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:27,140 ~ Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, wanting me, squeezing me, baby, come on - you know you want it. ~ 12 00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:33,290 ~ Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, hun. Squeezing me, teasing me. Baby, yeah, baby come on, uh! ~ 13 00:01:33,470 --> 00:01:36,400 ~ Sucking on my titties, like you... ~ 14 00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:47,540 What are you doing?! 15 00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:52,570 Sorry, I got a bit carried away... 16 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,950 Peter? 17 00:02:00,230 --> 00:02:02,540 Naboo is dead! 18 00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:08,660 But there is a way, to bring a shaman back to live. 19 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:15,280 You must retrieve the sacred Ruby of Kukundu. 20 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:20,880 It is to be found deep in the Arctic tundra... 21 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:24,660 -Let's go! -..or Spain. 22 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:34,540 -Arctic tundra or Spain? -Yeah, I can't remember which one it is, sorry. 23 00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:41,550 Yeah, they're quite far apart Bollo, you know? You could be little bit more specific. 24 00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:48,830 No. 25 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:54,620 Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, wanting me, squeezing me. Baby, yeah, uh - come on! 26 00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:05,810 Well there you have it - that's the end of the first half, things are hotting up. 27 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,150 -Naboo's dead. -Yep, bit of a shocker. 28 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:14,000 Bollo's gone insane with greif. 29 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,530 So we're left to retrieve the Ruby of Kukundu. Hm.. the second half. 30 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,240 Will we find it? Won't we? Will we? Won't we? Will we? Won't we? 31 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,700 We will. But uh... 32 00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:27,460 But will we? 33 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:32,190 We will. Will we find it? We will find it. 34 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:37,370 So - I suggest I'll go to Spain, you know, you'll go to the Arctic and we'll see how we do, yeah? 35 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:40,040 Yeah? Maybe I'll go to Spain though eh? 36 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:46,710 No no I'll go to Spain, because I'm Spanish. So.. you should go to the Arctic and I'll.. 37 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:49,960 -As if you're Spanish. -..I'll do the Spanish leg. 38 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:52,660 -Well, I'm a Spaniard - you know, I'm deeply Spanish. -What? 39 00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:54,270 -Oh yeah yeah yeah. -Get lost! 40 00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:58,230 - I'm well Spanish. -Well Spanish? What are you a chav? I'm well Spanish, mate. 41 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:02,060 Yeah? I'm El Chaviola. 42 00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:05,130 Sun-dried Chaviola. 43 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:09,090 Come on, but - come on, you're not Spanish! You're clearly.. 44 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,350 -I am! -You're not! You're clearly from Leeds. 45 00:04:12,890 --> 00:04:15,910 Ha ha ha? Nothing. 46 00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:19,350 Great help that.. 47 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:21,720 -Listen.. -Then leave. 48 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,020 Are you possessed? 49 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,310 By a twat? 50 00:04:33,470 --> 00:04:35,700 -Listen - you're not Spanish. -I am. 51 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:42,550 You're not Spanish - you're clearly from Leeds. I've seen the way you talk to women. 52 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:45,920 Huh, you dirty cow, get in my wheelbarrow, cm'on! 53 00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,980 -Listen... I was..don't talk about that, alright? -It was brilliant though! 54 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:55,080 Huh, you cheeky vixens, there's room for all of ya' in Barratt's barrow, cm'on! 55 00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:57,720 I was drunk.. 56 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,870 I know, so was I - I was in the wheelbarrow. 57 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:07,560 Alright, well we're gonna have decide who goes where, one way or the other, alright? I suggest we toss a coin. 58 00:05:07,610 --> 00:05:10,830 -Have any coins about your person? -I haven't got any pockets. 59 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,440 You leave that to me. 60 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,640 -Okay, heads or tails? -Aaa.. tails! 61 00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:46,240 -Oh, what a cunt! -Yeah! 62 00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:55,870 It was a mime coin, he could have said anything. What a spazz. 63 00:05:56,820 --> 00:06:01,510 That wasn't very PC (Politically Correct), was it? You all laughed, we're in it together. 64 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:09,390 See you in hell. So basically that is the end of the first half, go and have a drink, have a wee-wee and.. 65 00:06:19,190 --> 00:06:20,810 Aaaa fuck! 66 00:06:26,090 --> 00:06:27,650 Watch out, watch out! 67 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,100 No, get away! 68 00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:24,940 The only problem with be.. with when you are the Moon - like me - is, you have such a chalky white face, it makes your teeth look yellow. 69 00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:36,710 And I went to the dentist and he said: Ooh your teeth are yellow! I said: Noo! Only when you compare them to my chalky white face. 70 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:41,500 If I had skin - like yours - they would not look yellow! 71 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:54,940 I had fifteen fillings and he said: That will be £500 . And I said: I don't pay for nothing! I'm the Moon! 72 00:07:55,410 --> 00:08:01,220 And I rised out of the chair and I went off back up and he couldn't stop me. 73 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:08,330 Every now and then I recieve letter 'You still owe that money!' I say I might pay it, I might not. 74 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,800 I'm the Moon, I don't pay fucking dental fees! 75 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:09,720 Don't patronize me. 76 00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:16,480 Howard Moon's journal - day thirty-seven. 77 00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:19,500 Still no sign of the Ruby of Kukundu. 78 00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:28,710 The Arctic is a very lonely place, so lonely here.. ..wind my only friend. 79 00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:31,750 I hate you! 80 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,290 Shut up wind! 81 00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:46,260 The Arctic is a very strange environment - the days are very short here. 82 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,540 Luckily the nights are even shorter. 83 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,800 Ha, where are you from? 84 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,590 Day thirty-eight. 85 00:10:05,970 --> 00:10:11,590 A strange figure approaches from the horizon. Could this be my salvation? 86 00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:28,000 Look deep into the parka! 87 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,620 What? 88 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:38,040 Look deep into the parka! 89 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,970 Why? 90 00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:47,440 There are many things in here. Things you could never dream of! 91 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:49,830 Like what? 92 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,480 Omelettes..? 93 00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:57,810 I've dreamt of omelettes. 94 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:03,240 And I dream of omeletts quite a lot actually. They call me The Omelette-dreamer. 95 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:11,960 Oh, hm.. okay then.. um.. unicorns? With AIDS? 96 00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:21,030 -Have you dreamt of those? -No. 97 00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:23,240 Hahaa! 98 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,910 Look deep into the parka, my friend. 99 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:37,210 Delve deep into the parka, for whatever you dream of will become yours. 100 00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:50,410 Aaaah not that you idiot! That's my fucking eye! What are you doin'?! 101 00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:53,060 -Sorry.. -Ooh anything but that! 102 00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:56,110 -Oooh Christ! -I'm really sorry. 103 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:59,130 Ooh, don't just put it in loose! 104 00:12:02,290 --> 00:12:06,340 Look at me! I'm like.. Swingball. 105 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,960 -Enough! Enough Swingball! -Sorry. 106 00:12:23,430 --> 00:12:26,030 Sorry - there you go, I'll just.. it's in your pocket, look. 107 00:12:27,570 --> 00:12:29,830 Oh that's where that pen went. 108 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:41,240 Now, look deep into the parka the second time. The good stuff's laid out at the front. 109 00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:43,810 Delve in there. 110 00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:47,110 Other side. 111 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,870 -What's this? -Telegram. 112 00:12:56,390 --> 00:13:02,420 Oh, thanks. Well, don't go! I'm just gonna put the kettle on. Stick around and have a cuppa tea and a chat.. 113 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,970 No thanks. 114 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:06,800 Why? Where are you going? 115 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,640 Opticians. 116 00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:24,440 Well, if my hunch is correct, this telegram should lead me directly to the Ruby of Kukundu. 117 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:29,540 Dear Howard, thank you for the picture of your cock and balls.. 118 00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,770 I never sent that! 119 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:50,080 Howard Moon's journal - day thirty-eight. Must I end my life in this wilderness of ice and snow, oh woe.. 120 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:56,550 ~ All the things I'll never be All the things I'll never see ~ 121 00:13:56,680 --> 00:14:02,650 ~ All there is that's left for me Is here in this eternity ~ 122 00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:15,700 ~ Of isolation, isolation, isolation, isolation. ~ 123 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:22,910 ~ The cavalcade, the jamboree Of life I thought was meant for me ~ 124 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:28,850 ~ I never dreamed that it would be Replaced by this eternity ~ 125 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:35,380 ~ Of isolation, isolation. ~ 126 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:41,790 ~ All the things I'll never be All the things I'll never see ~ 127 00:14:42,150 --> 00:14:45,080 ~ All there is that's left for me ~ 128 00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:56,120 ~ Is here in this eternity of isolation, isolation! ~ 129 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:17,110 Reasonably priced in the foyer. 130 00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:22,640 Yes, meanwhile in Spain. 131 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,840 Hey, you guys, it's brilliant! I'm lovin' it here in Spain! 132 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:43,230 Hey, have any of you heard of The Ruby of Kukundu? 133 00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:24,200 Sorry about that.. 134 00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:34,550 You did a bad thing! 135 00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:38,550 You're fuckin' dead after the show! 136 00:16:39,830 --> 00:16:43,150 At least I am protected by the script. 137 00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:50,410 Oh yeah, the irony - the man protected by something he's never been in contact with. 138 00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:55,380 Yeah, it's good, isn't it? 139 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:59,000 What are you laughing at? 140 00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:00,370 Listen... 141 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,370 It's the first time he has laughed from this whole tour! 142 00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,680 Don't laugh! Listen! 143 00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:14,710 I need to speak with you alone. Solid, Gas get out of here, right now! 144 00:17:15,740 --> 00:17:17,610 Bring your shitty quitar with you. 145 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,870 I have some business to do. 146 00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:27,490 -You did a very bad thing! -I did a bad thing?! 147 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,480 Yes! 148 00:17:29,190 --> 00:17:31,210 You nearly broke my nose! 149 00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:38,110 I ate a bowl of yeast before the show, so.. Sorry about that. 150 00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:45,680 It's something I do, I'm on a.. Atkins diet.. 151 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,680 Listen - ... 152 00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:55,200 -You mentioned The Ruby of Kukundu. -Yeah, so what? 153 00:17:55,440 --> 00:18:01,180 Many men have mentioned this ruby and many men have been dyed! 154 00:18:02,190 --> 00:18:04,600 Oh really? What colour? 155 00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:12,000 I am slightly retarded. I'm on the fence either way. 156 00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:15,430 What - the retarded fence? 157 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,780 Yeah, you know.. 158 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,190 -Aaah what are you doin'? -I know a man.. 159 00:18:20,210 --> 00:18:22,590 -I know a... -Get out of my hat-space! 160 00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:25,980 -I know, these are fuckin' big hats! -What's wrong with you? 161 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,630 It's like doing a scene with a chimp! 162 00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:35,980 -It's just a figure of speech, Bollo. -Ah, okay. 163 00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:37,800 Adios. 164 00:18:39,690 --> 00:18:41,360 -I know of a guy over there.. -Aaah.. 165 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,710 -Look, talk to me and then we'll face out together. -Okay. 166 00:18:44,850 --> 00:18:48,420 I know of a guy.. ..over there. 167 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:51,920 Who can tell you, where the Ruby is. 168 00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:54,630 He lives in the Forest of Doom. 169 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,790 The Foyer of Doom? 170 00:18:57,980 --> 00:19:02,160 Yes. Just past the Mountain of Merchandise. 171 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,050 -He can tell you where the Ruby is. -Cool. 172 00:19:05,070 --> 00:19:09,000 Okay, excellent and what's he gonna do? Piss on my face? 173 00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:15,030 Don't be silly - I am not playing that character. 174 00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:21,360 -Okay, bye. -Okay, good luck my friend. 175 00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:23,850 -Yeah, seeya. -Goodbye. 176 00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:26,310 Get off. 177 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,070 -But do not tell anyone. -What? 178 00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:32,140 -Do not tell anyone I told you about this. -Okay. 179 00:19:32,350 --> 00:19:35,410 Or surely I will be killed by murder. 180 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,420 -Okay. -Okay, goodbye. -Okay seeya. 181 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:44,740 So this wiseman, yeah? He's over by the Forest of Doom? 182 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,110 Aaa you silly bitch! 183 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,540 I forgot:) 184 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:55,840 And so Vince Noir set off on his terrifying journey towards the Forest of Doom. 185 00:19:56,910 --> 00:20:00,980 Utilizing basic mime technique. He walked. 186 00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:05,070 And then he moonwalked for a bit. 187 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,970 I've got the wrong shoes on, shut up! 188 00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:15,150 Yes, that was pretty bad. 189 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,750 Rubber on rubber - it was never gonna work. 190 00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:23,030 Don't try and body-pop your way out of it. 191 00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:32,670 Onwards he walked mile after mile, mile after terrifying mile towards the Forest of Doom. 192 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:38,400 Mile after mile... you're going the wrong way. The sign.. yes. 193 00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:41,420 You've got his sign you prick! 194 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:48,040 Onwards, ever onwards, he encountered a terrifying hurricane. 195 00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:54,750 Oh dear.. 196 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:04,860 The hurricane messed up Vince's neatly arranged coiffure. 197 00:21:04,910 --> 00:21:06,340 -I don't think it did. -Yes, it did. 198 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:08,410 It didn't! It's weird, but it didn't. Get off me! 199 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,390 He told me to do it. 200 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,350 I am the narrator - he does my bidding. 201 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:30,770 After dealing with the hurricane/cagoule he carried on and eventually arrived at the fabled Forest of Doom! 202 00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:35,330 Theatre.. 203 00:22:13,870 --> 00:22:15,490 Who are you? 204 00:22:16,140 --> 00:22:18,370 I go by many names. 205 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,450 Well what are they then? 206 00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:38,240 I'm getting around to that. I'm just leaving a mystical pause. 207 00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:48,080 Some call me.. Mystery Man. Others know me as the Shadow Dweller. 208 00:22:48,790 --> 00:22:51,840 Some call me Secret Peter. 209 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:59,320 Where is he hiding? In a shoe, in a bush, in a rock, in a side cupboard, in a lane? 210 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,640 No! He's inside yourself. 211 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:16,550 Some call me Miraculous Mark - diviner of mysteries. Others call me Heeeeeeeeeeeeey.. 212 00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:18,460 ..Smith. 213 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:33,390 Some call me Halaaaooooooo - . 214 00:23:37,870 --> 00:23:39,790 [hits drum] that's my surname. 215 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:43,590 Others know me as Domino. 216 00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:49,100 The Bounty hunter. 217 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:55,160 Some call me Chilli Chicken Ramen. Others know me as Clive. 218 00:23:57,050 --> 00:24:03,350 I'm sometimes called Peppercorn.. ..by the Dutch. 219 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:15,220 You can step in at any point here, you know? Don't have to leave me dangling like a tit in a breeze. 220 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,680 Go on, do one more. 221 00:24:23,190 --> 00:24:26,540 Some call me Cillit Bang. 222 00:24:32,030 --> 00:24:33,550 I go by many names! 223 00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:39,200 But you may call me Rudy. 224 00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:48,000 You are searching for something here in the forest, are you not little girl? 225 00:24:49,670 --> 00:24:51,880 Yeah, how do you know? 226 00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:54,990 -I know all things. -Are you a witch? 227 00:24:58,580 --> 00:24:59,970 Yes, I am. 228 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:05,590 Take a seat. I shall explain to you a thing or two about the forest. 229 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,080 There's no seats in the forest. 230 00:25:11,790 --> 00:25:15,260 Do not be afraid. I control the very forest itself. Behold! 231 00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:23,590 Khalamaloooooo, khalamalamaloooooo, khalamala-bring-a-chair, khalamalooooooh... 232 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,200 Hm, the forest is a cheeky one tonight. 233 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,000 The forest is a cunt tonight. 234 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:04,250 Soo... Look, you're on mushrooms. 235 00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:09,430 Hey, where are thou from? 236 00:26:11,060 --> 00:26:13,390 You're looking pretty high yourself. 237 00:26:14,690 --> 00:26:17,880 I'm off my tits on dental cream. 238 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,880 I don't know where I am. 239 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:27,080 I appear to be in a psychedelic episode of Parkinson. 240 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:42,290 So you've got a new book coming out, um... No, tell me about it. It's about gardening, yeah? 241 00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:45,650 Never mind that Parky, what's happened to your hair? 242 00:26:47,110 --> 00:26:49,060 I slept funny. 243 00:26:51,770 --> 00:26:55,930 You are searching for something here in the Forest of Doom, are you not? What is it you seek? 244 00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:59,470 Basically I'm looking for the Ruby of Kukundu. 245 00:27:07,370 --> 00:27:09,280 The Ruby of Kukundu? 246 00:27:21,430 --> 00:27:23,670 Yeah, the Ruby of Kukundu. 247 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:34,440 The Ruby of Kukundu? 248 00:27:35,450 --> 00:27:39,060 No! Okay, it was fun, but now it's over. 249 00:27:40,380 --> 00:27:47,020 Yes I know the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kukundu, yay I know the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kuku.., yes I know. 250 00:27:48,550 --> 00:27:52,320 But I cannot just divulge the informations to whereabouts of the Ruby like this. 251 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,650 I need to know that you're a kind of heart and worthy of the information. 252 00:27:55,740 --> 00:27:58,630 You must prove this to me by passing a test. 253 00:27:59,180 --> 00:28:00,860 Cool, what test? 254 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,090 The cycling proficiency test. 255 00:28:10,060 --> 00:28:12,260 Know ye of this test? 256 00:28:12,340 --> 00:28:16,030 Yeah, I passed that ages ago, when I was at school. It was easy. 257 00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:23,730 Ain't you something! 258 00:28:24,860 --> 00:28:27,490 Ain't you a little piece of something else. 259 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:30,980 Ain't you a little stinking piece of something. 260 00:28:31,660 --> 00:28:37,000 Well then, if thou art such a cockian, perhaps another test is in order for thou. 261 00:28:41,060 --> 00:28:44,560 -Yeah? -Perhaps thou would be less cocky when faced.. 262 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,980 ..with the Black Rider! 263 00:28:48,580 --> 00:28:55,080 The most dangerous gun-fighter in the forest, who you must fight - tonight at midnight! 264 00:29:06,210 --> 00:29:08,580 Yeah, Rudy it's one o'clock. 265 00:29:10,890 --> 00:29:15,070 I'm not spending another eleven hours with you and your speech impediment. 266 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,130 See if I can hurry this along a little bit. 267 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,670 Excuse me. 268 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,010 It's my scat-phone. 269 00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,270 Hello, Black Riders. 270 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:46,680 Hello, um.. I've ordered a Black Rider for midnight, I might need something a little bit earlier. 271 00:29:46,750 --> 00:29:48,170 I just wondered if you had anything in the area. 272 00:29:48,490 --> 00:29:52,180 -Where are you mate? -The Forest of Doom. 273 00:29:52,570 --> 00:29:55,310 -Where mate? -Brixton. 274 00:29:57,610 --> 00:30:00,070 Alright, he should be with you in a few moments. 275 00:30:00,230 --> 00:30:05,640 -Okay, thanks, um.. I just wondered.. how much was that going to be? - It's gonna be about twelve, thirteen quid mate. 276 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:12,020 -Ouch.. Okay thanks a lot, you've been very kind, thank you. -Fuck off. 277 00:30:13,810 --> 00:30:17,460 Prepare thyself! The Black Rider approaches. 278 00:31:51,570 --> 00:31:58,000 You have passed the test! And now it is time for you to recieve the Ruby of Kukundu. 279 00:32:03,750 --> 00:32:09,420 Take the Ruby and do with it what you will, pretty prince-girl. 280 00:32:12,490 --> 00:32:16,010 Yeah, Rudy - this is a Kinderegg. 281 00:32:17,070 --> 00:32:21,070 Kinderegg? What is Kinderegg? 282 00:32:21,790 --> 00:32:24,740 It's kind of a chocolatey treat with a toy inside. 283 00:32:25,990 --> 00:32:33,020 Oh.. I'm sorry I thought it was a Ruby, I can only apologize and wish you luck with your quest. 284 00:32:37,380 --> 00:32:39,140 Shut your mouth. 285 00:32:40,210 --> 00:32:44,020 Or I shall fly at you like a bag of cocks! 286 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,550 And you'll receive him like a satchel of vaginas! 287 00:33:00,340 --> 00:33:02,650 Tag team put downs. 288 00:33:05,990 --> 00:33:07,520 What is a Kinderegg? 289 00:33:10,310 --> 00:33:14,430 It's basically - it's like a chocolatey treat, but you get like a toy inside, yeah? 290 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,880 So they are amazing, sometimes you get to build like a hovercraft, yeah? 291 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:20,690 A hover - what is a hovercraft? 292 00:33:21,590 --> 00:33:29,310 I haven't got time to explain, other times you get like a porcelain alligator playing golf - that's not quite as good, but they're pretty spot on. 293 00:33:30,070 --> 00:33:35,210 -Hm.. sounds intriguing. -Yeah, you might as well have that, if you've never had one. 294 00:33:35,230 --> 00:33:36,980 -For me? -Yeah! Take it. 295 00:33:37,130 --> 00:33:38,660 Thank you. 296 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:43,540 No worries, take care Rudy, thanks for your help, bye. 297 00:33:45,540 --> 00:33:46,810 Wait! 298 00:33:51,910 --> 00:33:54,340 You have passed the test. 299 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,620 -What test? -The Kinder-test. 300 00:33:59,820 --> 00:34:02,550 Most men would have eaten the Kinderegg. 301 00:34:05,140 --> 00:34:07,980 -Wolf it down quick as a bee. -Yeah? 302 00:34:08,170 --> 00:34:13,210 But you - knowing I had never tasted its chocolatey fruit - offered it to me. 303 00:34:14,530 --> 00:34:16,680 Because you are kind of heart. 304 00:34:16,980 --> 00:34:21,230 Thus I can tell you the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kukundu. 305 00:34:21,470 --> 00:34:24,230 It is far far away my friend... 306 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:29,380 Fa.. this way - far away - in the Arctic tundra. 307 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,480 You're in the wrong place sunny Jim lad. 308 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:41,960 Excellent I.. that's brilliant - I'll go there right now. Thanks Rudy, I don't know what to say, you've been brilliant! 309 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:46,260 Don't say anything, simply caress my balls. 310 00:34:48,470 --> 00:34:49,950 I'm not doin' that. 311 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,760 You have passed the test! 312 00:34:55,450 --> 00:34:58,090 -What test? -The ball-test. 313 00:35:00,490 --> 00:35:02,000 The ball-test?! 314 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,260 -Yes, most men would have caressed my balls.. -Seeya.. 315 00:35:05,370 --> 00:35:06,730 Bye bye. 316 00:35:21,100 --> 00:35:25,070 Sorry. Oh I did a burp. 317 00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:29,740 When the Moon burps, Jupiter looks on disgusted. 318 00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:37,500 I like Jupiter and I like Mars, but Pluto - he don't talk to me. 319 00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:41,740 He pretends I'm not there. Hello Pluto..? 320 00:35:42,190 --> 00:35:45,180 Nothing, just carries on with what he's doing. 321 00:35:46,730 --> 00:35:48,740 I don't know why he don't like me.. 322 00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:54,030 Saturn is crazy, he's fuckin' crazy. 323 00:35:55,330 --> 00:35:59,850 He drinks all the time, he comes in he's all pissed. 324 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:06,090 And he's a good cook, but he's too drunk, he sets fire to his fish fingers. 325 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:12,960 One time I went out with him and he was funny. 326 00:36:40,730 --> 00:36:44,110 This dog's not doing as much work as this one. 327 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,380 What are you doin'? 328 00:36:47,050 --> 00:36:50,760 This must be Howard's tent. He's left me a little note. Let's have a look. 329 00:36:51,030 --> 00:36:52,990 -I, Howard Moon.. -I haven't opened it yet! 330 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,840 ..have decided to head to North in my quest to find the Ruby of Kukundu.. 331 00:36:56,900 --> 00:37:00,600 -There's nothing on this. -If you find this note, then heed my advice. 332 00:37:01,210 --> 00:37:08,160 The Artcic is a dangerous place, there are strange creatures here. I have heard their calls in the night. 333 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:16,100 So be on your guard and what ever you do, never fall asleep. 334 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,700 Aaah fuck! 335 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:10,950 I thought we were getting on quite well, what about a phone number? 336 00:39:11,270 --> 00:39:12,820 Do some work. 337 00:39:59,210 --> 00:40:01,560 Pretty fuckin' good our sound man! 338 00:40:09,210 --> 00:40:11,940 Better not fall asleep this time. 339 00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:21,020 I'll come on again. 340 00:40:32,970 --> 00:40:34,910 Vince? Vince? Vince! 341 00:40:34,990 --> 00:40:39,080 Oh, Yetti, I knew you'd return. Oh sorry I thought you were someone else. 342 00:40:39,470 --> 00:40:41,510 Hey Howard, howyerdoin'? Are you llright? 343 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,380 -Yeah, I'm good, thanks. -Yeah? Come on, let's get out of here. 344 00:40:44,390 --> 00:40:45,980 -No, I'm not leaving this place. -Hm..? 345 00:40:46,630 --> 00:40:48,430 -I'll never leave this place Vince. -What do you mean? 346 00:40:48,510 --> 00:40:54,430 I'm on a mission, I shall never leave this place until I have found the Ruby of Kukundu. 347 00:40:55,010 --> 00:40:58,470 Never would I leave this sacred place until I have found that Ruby! 348 00:40:58,930 --> 00:41:01,100 -Yeah - is that it? 349 00:41:02,890 --> 00:41:04,000 Yep. 350 00:41:05,490 --> 00:41:07,230 -Shall we go then? -Yeah, alright. 351 00:41:07,250 --> 00:41:08,340 Okay. 352 00:41:21,890 --> 00:41:31,760 And so Vince Noir - he went to Topshop and uh.. Howard he took the Ruby and he gave it to Bollo. 353 00:41:33,570 --> 00:41:41,110 I think that's what was happening I don't know, I weren't watching. I was havin' a wank. 354 00:41:53,540 --> 00:42:03,210 And now it is time - shut up - to bring a shaman back to life. 355 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:23,750 Not so fast, monkeyman! Hand over that Ruby, boy, looks like it could be worth a few euros to me. 356 00:42:24,620 --> 00:42:31,080 -No. For I need it to bring little Naboo back to life. -Oh really? 357 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,560 -Yeah. -Oh really? 358 00:42:34,610 --> 00:42:36,320 -Yeah! -That's what you're gonna do, is it? 359 00:42:36,380 --> 00:42:39,770 Yeah! Huh... 360 00:42:44,030 --> 00:42:45,780 Nooo... 361 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:56,460 Nooo - nooooo.... aaaaaa..... 362 00:43:01,660 --> 00:43:08,850 Look Peter! Look at my acting Peter! Look at I can do Peter, look! 363 00:43:08,940 --> 00:43:14,210 Nooo... no.. now! 364 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:19,680 Fuck! 365 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,000 Peter, did I get the part Peter? 366 00:43:30,260 --> 00:43:35,070 Of course you fuckin' didn't get the part, mate. It's already been and gone at the cinema ain't it?! 367 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,750 -What?! -It's on DVD you berk! 368 00:43:39,670 --> 00:43:40,780 Yeah! 369 00:43:41,570 --> 00:43:44,350 Yeah, right in the face! 370 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,250 No open coffin for Bollo! 371 00:43:48,270 --> 00:43:52,220 Aaaa you've killed my friend and former lover! 372 00:43:55,380 --> 00:43:59,260 If that ain't the geezer who likes to spit in other people's faces! 373 00:44:00,130 --> 00:44:04,320 Ooh, oooh, oooh m'nuts! 374 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:17,320 Bye everybody, oh uh Bollo, oh Bollo. Bollo, Bollo, Bollo.. 375 00:44:18,790 --> 00:44:21,790 What is the matter with you?! 376 00:44:21,890 --> 00:44:24,460 I told you it was a summer fling! 377 00:44:27,110 --> 00:44:30,320 I'm deeaad, I'm deeaad, I'm deeaad... 378 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,030 I wish you were, pal. 379 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:42,070 Well there you have it Brixton! That's the end of the show, everyone's fuckin' dead! 380 00:44:43,110 --> 00:44:48,900 Naboo - the so-called enigma - dead as a doormat. 381 00:44:52,020 --> 00:44:57,240 Yeah, whatever. Bollo - the fuckin' hammy ape - dead also. 382 00:44:57,270 --> 00:45:03,510 The geezer in the light blue outfit - I don't even know his fuckin' name, the septic tank - he's dead as well! 383 00:45:04,060 --> 00:45:07,100 Alright that's it, everyone's dead - I know what you're thinking Brixton. 384 00:45:07,660 --> 00:45:13,230 I know what you're thinkin' I know how you fuckers think, you're thinking where's the geezer who likes jazz, 385 00:45:13,340 --> 00:45:16,870 where's the geezer with the moustache, he'll save the day. 386 00:45:18,830 --> 00:45:22,310 Yeah? Well will he really? 387 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:31,300 I saw him backstage farting about with a trumpet sock. 388 00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:37,250 A trumpet sock, you idiot? So I cut his fuckin' head off. 389 00:45:38,050 --> 00:45:42,620 I know what else you're thinking, where's the geezer who looks like a bird, he'll save the day. 390 00:45:42,750 --> 00:45:49,170 The one who dresses like a lady! No he won't! He's here. I found him in Topshop. 391 00:45:51,180 --> 00:45:59,340 I found him in Topshop with six items in a cubical! Six items? You're only allowed four, you slag! 392 00:45:59,380 --> 00:46:02,090 What do you think are the fuckin' sign's for? 393 00:46:02,700 --> 00:46:08,030 So I chopped his head off and I fucked his stump! 394 00:46:12,010 --> 00:46:17,520 That's right ladys and gentlemen, I'm a stump-fucker! 395 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:24,030 Welcome to the concept of stump-fucking! 396 00:46:25,060 --> 00:46:27,360 The double-stump-fuck. 397 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,450 If there are any little'uns in tonight.. 398 00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:35,820 ..I just wanna say it's S T U M P ! Stump-fuckin'! 399 00:46:36,220 --> 00:46:40,520 Get it right when you tell your mates in the playground tomorrow! 400 00:46:45,670 --> 00:46:51,650 Stump-fucking - a concept we couldn't quite get past BBC3. 401 00:46:57,170 --> 00:47:00,890 We wanted to call our show The Mighty Stump-fuckers! 402 00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:06,390 And they said: 'If you do that, you'll have to go on a little bit later.' 403 00:47:06,590 --> 00:47:11,020 And we said: 'Is that physically fuckin' possible?' 404 00:47:14,750 --> 00:47:22,320 We'll go on when we always go on! After two pints of fuckin' lager and packet of crisps! 405 00:47:27,630 --> 00:47:29,790 That's the end of the show! 406 00:47:29,850 --> 00:47:34,050 -Now all fuck off!! -Not so fast! -What? 407 00:47:41,990 --> 00:47:43,620 -Yes! -Christ! 408 00:47:44,140 --> 00:47:46,450 Ooh check me out! 409 00:47:49,410 --> 00:47:52,040 I've got you surrounded, sir! 410 00:47:53,820 --> 00:47:56,970 Jesus! It's like Woodstock meets Tour de France! 411 00:48:13,930 --> 00:48:18,090 -Who are you? -I go by many names. 412 00:48:19,050 --> 00:48:22,350 Yeah, I heard all this shit backstage, move it along, would you, pal? 413 00:48:23,860 --> 00:48:25,550 Hush your lips. 414 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,690 Or I shall slice them off. 415 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:34,250 Place them upon your mother.. ..and kiss her. 416 00:48:40,950 --> 00:48:42,870 Oh yes, squire, what with? 417 00:48:43,300 --> 00:48:45,080 With cold steel! 418 00:48:49,900 --> 00:48:56,080 Well maybe I'll tear your nose off at the root and flick it up the vicars anus! 419 00:48:57,210 --> 00:48:58,940 With cold steel, mind? 420 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,090 I'm fuckin' warning you Flipper! 421 00:49:12,940 --> 00:49:14,650 On guard. 422 00:49:25,390 --> 00:49:31,000 Crikey! Ooh, I tore all the skin under my armpit! Oooh help me boy, help me! 423 00:49:31,100 --> 00:49:33,310 -We'll have to call the whole fight off. -Are you okay? 424 00:49:33,380 --> 00:49:34,790 Ooh I've done something wrong.. 425 00:49:34,860 --> 00:49:37,110 -Can I help you? -I'm bleeding inside, help me boy - help me. 426 00:49:44,470 --> 00:49:46,280 You fight well. 427 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,050 For a Jimmy Savile impersonater. 428 00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:03,590 Shut up or I'll fix it for you. And you, and you, and you! 429 00:50:05,660 --> 00:50:10,020 You fight well yourself mate, for a geezer in a purple dress. 430 00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:16,030 This is not a dress. 431 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:23,020 This is the sacred robe of the psychedelic monks. So I think the joke's on you. 432 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,730 Well it goes nicely with your little bicycle. 433 00:50:30,090 --> 00:50:31,190 Oh really? 434 00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:54,980 Now then, now then! 435 00:50:57,150 --> 00:51:00,390 I think you'll find Jimmy can still move when he needs to. 436 00:51:01,050 --> 00:51:04,050 -You can never win, you know? -Oh yeah, pal, why is that? 437 00:51:04,850 --> 00:51:07,430 Because I taught you everything you know. 438 00:51:09,250 --> 00:51:14,840 You might taught me everything I know, but you didn't teach me everything you know. 439 00:51:21,070 --> 00:51:23,130 -You know.. I know.. oh fuck! -What does that mean? 440 00:51:27,730 --> 00:51:30,900 Ooh take that you slag! Take that you nonce! 441 00:51:31,410 --> 00:51:37,190 -Oooh Jesus! Oooh crikey! - Get off! No! Leave me alone! 442 00:51:39,750 --> 00:51:42,950 -You're too strong for me! -Oh yeah, oh that's bad! 443 00:51:43,270 --> 00:51:46,490 No! You're spoiling the illusion! 444 00:51:49,020 --> 00:51:50,810 Take that! 445 00:52:00,990 --> 00:52:02,780 How do we do it? 446 00:52:04,070 --> 00:52:06,040 The magic of theatre. 447 00:52:06,770 --> 00:52:10,610 -Let's end this, one way or the other, you slag. -Bring it on, Terry Nutkins. 448 00:52:17,260 --> 00:52:24,620 Oooh Crikey oooh ooh look at me, me go faster stripe's come loose. 449 00:52:24,770 --> 00:52:29,260 I'm only an old man, luckily I've still got one trick left up my Lambeth sleeve. 450 00:52:32,830 --> 00:52:34,820 Cock punchin'! 451 00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:39,640 Oooh my fiery biscuit! 452 00:52:42,090 --> 00:52:46,560 When in doubt, ladies and gentlemen, release the middle digit! 453 00:52:46,670 --> 00:52:51,160 The cockney cock-puncher! He punches one way, he punches the other, 454 00:52:51,270 --> 00:52:56,990 he punches diagonal, he's like connect four in cock-punchin' terms. 455 00:53:00,530 --> 00:53:04,730 Yeah, there's no one that can save you now Leo Sayer! 456 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:12,740 What? No! Christ! No! Oooh fuck! No! 457 00:53:29,990 --> 00:53:35,340 Big leg! Here comes Big leg! He's got a big fuckin' leg! Big leg! 458 00:53:41,470 --> 00:53:43,330 Thank you Big leg! 459 00:53:50,020 --> 00:53:56,030 And now all it is left to do is bring the tiny shaman back to life. 460 00:54:08,990 --> 00:54:12,770 Let the magic commence. 461 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,870 I'm alive! 462 00:54:32,130 --> 00:54:36,700 So with the power of the Ruby brought Naboo back to life. 463 00:54:37,990 --> 00:54:39,580 Restoring his powers. 464 00:54:41,170 --> 00:54:47,070 He flew high into the night sky like a tiny blue Snoop dog. 465 00:54:47,890 --> 00:54:53,580 Look at him move, look at him move, look at his mother-lovin' shaman grooves. 466 00:54:54,490 --> 00:54:59,790 And what of Fossil and Bollo? He restored them back to life! 467 00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:06,450 -Yeah! I'm alive! -The power of Ruby! Knew no bounds. 468 00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:16,440 What about Vince and Howard? Are they dead forever? Of course they weren't! 469 00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:56,730 Thank you Brixton! Good night! 470 00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:26,960 Thank you! 471 00:56:36,690 --> 00:56:39,170 Thank you Brixton, thank you! 472 00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,190 Thanks a lot! 473 00:57:07,850 --> 00:57:10,260 -Thank you! -Thank you Brixton! 474 00:57:10,270 --> 00:57:13,020 -Top shelf! -Brixton rocks! 475 00:57:45,820 --> 00:57:47,620 Oooh right in the eye! 476 00:57:50,300 --> 00:57:52,850 -Hey, Vince.. -Brixton! 477 00:57:54,010 --> 00:57:56,650 Oh yeah yeah yeah, cool. Hey, Bobby Bob Bob. 478 00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:02,930 Three three three. Don't tell him, don't tell him, I can only get three... 479 00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,820 -Where's Vince going? -Oh yeah, um.. Vince.. 480 00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,730 -Where's he going? -To organise the after show party. 481 00:58:09,060 --> 00:58:13,910 It's at this really cool club called Stumpy McFuckies. Yeah! 482 00:58:15,210 --> 00:58:17,270 That sounds good, let's go. It sounds like fun fun fun. 483 00:58:17,450 --> 00:58:20,290 -Fun fun fun. -Hey there's one thing uh.. 484 00:58:20,690 --> 00:58:22,950 There's only room for three on the guestlist.. 485 00:58:23,310 --> 00:58:24,900 One, two, three. 486 00:58:27,060 --> 00:58:28,280 See ya around. 487 00:58:29,460 --> 00:58:33,300 Hey listen, maybe I'll see you like.. never! 488 00:59:21,510 --> 00:59:24,680 Howard Moon alone again.. 489 00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:35,020 Not that lonely. 490 00:59:40,300 --> 00:59:43,850 Because you're never quite alone. 491 00:59:45,020 --> 00:59:49,420 Not when old mister Moon's shining doon. 492 00:59:50,850 --> 00:59:56,660 Actually uhm.. sorry Howard, I don't think I can hang out with you. 493 00:59:56,710 --> 00:59:57,750 Why? 494 00:59:58,060 --> 01:00:03,630 Well.. to be honest - you're a ball bag. 495 01:00:05,610 --> 01:00:09,670 I'm the Moon - I don't hang out with ball bags. 496 01:00:56,870 --> 01:01:01,480 -Okay, um... do you want me to..? -Do you wanna sign for this? 497 01:01:01,490 --> 01:01:04,210 -Yeah, do you have a pen? -I don't have a pen, no. 498 01:01:04,310 --> 01:01:07,050 Right, don't worry about that. 499 01:01:09,410 --> 01:01:16,030 -That's very good. I like that. -So, okay well.. I don't know what you're doing later, but um... 500 01:01:16,350 --> 01:01:24,000 You mean I'm.. I'm sort of free later on, my diary's freed up somewhat this evening so.. 501 01:01:24,090 --> 01:01:29,080 If you.. I don't think.. We've had some bad dealings in the past, but if you want to sort of go for a meal and to resolve some difficulties.. 502 01:01:29,460 --> 01:01:34,020 -I could.. -A meal? With you? 503 01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:37,820 -With Howard Moon? -Oh yeah, why not? 504 01:01:38,270 --> 01:01:45,520 You know, something I once saw a man like you in Burma, I saw him hang, I helped him hang. 505 01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:48,710 I can do the same for you. 506 01:01:49,740 --> 01:01:52,380 -So is that a NO then? -That's a big NO, my friend. 507 01:01:55,560 --> 01:02:01,920 But uh... If you're free about half past ten make sure you wear the red pants, n'est ce pas? Adios! 508 01:02:02,820 --> 01:02:05,640 Thanking you, good night! 509 01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:13,380 Oh well.. 510 01:02:14,220 --> 01:02:17,910 A delivery for me, maybe there's someone, who loves me after all. 511 01:02:22,140 --> 01:02:27,790 I'm Old Gregg motherfuckeeer! I'm Old Gregg. 512 01:02:28,390 --> 01:02:31,760 Yeah, yeah I'm Old Gregg. 513 01:02:34,150 --> 01:02:37,990 Hey Brixton! I'm Old Gregg! 514 01:02:41,540 --> 01:02:45,100 Ooh.. I'm drunk on Baileys. 515 01:02:46,330 --> 01:02:51,040 I had a shoe full of Baileys and I'm drunk as a bitch. 516 01:02:52,140 --> 01:02:54,820 I've got a mangina. 517 01:02:56,850 --> 01:03:02,470 Yeah yeah, when I get it out, light comes from in it, makes you feel tingly. 518 01:03:03,090 --> 01:03:04,590 I'm Old Gregg! 519 01:03:08,270 --> 01:03:10,290 -Hey Howard. -Oh shit.. 520 01:03:11,570 --> 01:03:14,130 Hey Gregg, how the hell are you? 521 01:03:15,060 --> 01:03:17,410 Good to see you, um.. how did you find me, Gregg? 522 01:03:17,540 --> 01:03:23,880 Ooh oh I saw your poster, I saw your tiny little Patrick Swayze eyes. 523 01:03:26,260 --> 01:03:30,110 You've got those crazy Swayze eyes, and I knew I had to come and find ya, 524 01:03:30,110 --> 01:03:34,680 so I was gon... trying to do a surprise, for the DVD I tried to make, 525 01:03:34,870 --> 01:03:39,410 I came in a, presented myself to ya in a cube. 526 01:03:42,250 --> 01:03:43,660 -I'm Old Gregg! -Yeah.. 527 01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,320 Yes, we're all aware of your name. 528 01:03:47,690 --> 01:03:54,040 -Uhm.. you've told me about eighty-thousand times look Gregg.. -Do you love me? 529 01:04:00,060 --> 01:04:02,820 Greggory.. Greggory we had a time... 530 01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:08,990 -Well it was more of a rape, but it was a.. it took place.. -We had a time. 531 01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:10,760 -We had a time.. -We had a time. 532 01:04:10,860 --> 01:04:12,760 The time finished, then we went out separate ways. 533 01:04:12,830 --> 01:04:15,870 Now you've gone your way, I've gone my way and that's the way it's gonna be, Gregg. 534 01:04:16,660 --> 01:04:17,880 What do you mean? 535 01:04:17,950 --> 01:04:19,440 -What I mean to say is.. -You love Greggory? 536 01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:23,100 No, no Gregg, that's what I'm saying - it's over between us, over. 537 01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,300 -You must love Greggory! -I don't love Greggory. 538 01:04:25,340 --> 01:04:28,940 You must love me exactly as I love you, Howard. 539 01:04:29,500 --> 01:04:34,670 Cos if your eyes don't love my eyes, I'm gonna suck'em out with a powerful hoover. 540 01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:38,040 And tuck'em up my downstairs mix-up. 541 01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:42,540 Yeah... 542 01:04:43,830 --> 01:04:48,050 -Maybe I was being a bit hasty there, Gregg. I.. you know, cos.. -Hasty? 543 01:04:48,060 --> 01:04:51,630 Yeah, you know, sometimes when you do love someone, you pretend not to, 544 01:04:51,670 --> 01:04:56,130 it's kind of way of not being too eager, you know I didn't wanna.. I was playing a game with you, Gregg. 545 01:04:56,210 --> 01:04:58,170 Playing a game? 546 01:05:01,500 --> 01:05:04,090 -Playing game with Old Greggory? -Yeah, that's right. 547 01:05:04,430 --> 01:05:06,890 Playin' motherfuckin' love game? 548 01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:10,690 Yeah, come on! 549 01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:19,060 ~ Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me? ~ 550 01:05:19,490 --> 01:05:22,730 ~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot. ~ 551 01:05:22,810 --> 01:05:27,440 ~ Come on! Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me? ~ 552 01:05:28,030 --> 01:05:32,040 ~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot. Come on now! ~ 553 01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:36,390 ~ Moving too fast, this isn't a race, ooh. Baby back off and lower the pace now, ~ 554 01:05:36,590 --> 01:05:40,910 ~ Slow it down, and give me some space, mmmh. Moving too fast, this isn't a race, ah ah! ~ 555 01:05:49,050 --> 01:05:53,030 ~ Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me? ~ 556 01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:57,310 ~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot. Come on! ~ 557 01:05:57,740 --> 01:06:01,800 ~ Moving too fast this isn't a race, mmm. Baby back off and lower the pace now. ~ 558 01:06:02,170 --> 01:06:06,450 ~ Slow it down, and give me some space. Moving too fast this isn't a race, no no! ~ 559 01:06:06,620 --> 01:06:08,790 ~ -I'm Old Gregg! -I know I think you said. ~ 560 01:06:08,890 --> 01:06:12,690 ~ Come on don't make me beg now, 'cause I'm not your regular guy. ~ 561 01:06:13,430 --> 01:06:15,740 ~ Don't be shy! Do you love me? ~ 562 01:06:18,700 --> 01:06:19,730 ~ Do you love me? ~ 563 01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:26,620 Greggorys! Come down here! 564 01:06:27,380 --> 01:06:30,250 ~ Do you love me? ~ 565 01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:38,380 Come on Brixton, get on your motherfuckin' feet.. Three, four! 566 01:06:39,850 --> 01:06:50,040 ~ Do you love me? ~ 567 01:06:57,070 --> 01:06:59,950 -Yeah, yeah. -Brixton! 568 01:07:09,260 --> 01:07:10,750 Thank you! 569 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:16,870 Brixton, I've got one last surprise for you. 570 01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:27,530 I did a stencil in my knickers. And now I'm gonna unleash my mangina! 571 01:07:30,390 --> 01:07:32,760 -We love you Brixton! -Check it out! 572 01:07:33,210 --> 01:07:34,730 -Good night! -Brixton! 573 01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:36,290 My mangina. 574 01:07:56,940 --> 01:07:59,990 I've finally got my hands into Howard Moon. 575 01:08:01,380 --> 01:08:07,460 Yeah, yeah - Howard got a surprise for me, I don't know what it is. 576 01:08:09,060 --> 01:08:11,980 It might be a shenis, yeah! 577 01:08:16,220 --> 01:08:19,450 Come on you cheeky vixen, get in my wheelbarrow! 578 01:08:20,830 --> 01:08:22,540 Don't mind if I do! 579 01:08:24,130 --> 01:08:26,850 He's gotta mangina and I've got a shenis. 580 01:08:28,230 --> 01:08:30,520 Let's make sweet love!