《性》 翻译：鼹鼠嫂
《火眼金睛》
如果这是真刀真枪 你们怎么看？ If this were really happening, what would you think?
也许你们并没那么吃惊 Perhaps you wouldn't be that surprised.
似乎罩在现代人大脑外的 Increasingly it seems the bone around our brains
不是头盖骨 而是骨盆 is not the skull but the pelvis.
看下今天的报纸 Just look at today's papers...
《克拉克*在从直升机上向伦敦上空喷尿后 微笑表示 这“非常性感”》 (*肯尼斯·克拉克 英国保守党政治家)
《拉开蜷缩着的厨师 发现天鹅被塞菊花》
《博诺愿向 “任何来自前南斯拉夫的人” 提供性服务》
这是说U2乐队主唱 博诺·沃克斯 That's the U2 lead singer, Bono Vox.
甚至地方报 《朴茨茅斯鲜驱报》 Even the local press, the Portsmouth Gerald...
《又一次 穿成龟头的男人未被拘捕》
我们很宽容 但也很迷茫 We are permissive, yet confused.
我们能接受 Peter Sissons* 一边接受口交 It's quite acceptable for Peter Sissons* to receive oral sex (*英国新闻主播)
一边播报 《九点新闻》的灾难报道 during disaster reports on the Nine O'Clock News.
但在马恩岛*上 裸体至今不被接受 Yet on the Isle of Man*, nudity is still considered so shocking, (*英格兰与爱尔兰间的海上岛屿)
婴儿赤裸出生是违法的 it's illegal for babies to be born naked.
(Cries)
今天出生的婴儿 Is a baby born today
是不是将面对一个性危机的世界？ a baby born into a world in sex crisis?
《火眼金睛》
晚上好 晚上好 Good evening. Good evening.
性！ 性就像驴群中的圣婴 Sex! Sex is a sumptuous glam babe in a hall of donkeys
或者一个长得像你祖母的邪恶小梦妖 or a sordid little incubus that looks like your granny.
它是只怎么切都会疼的腰子 It's a strong feelings kidney whichever way you slice it.
那么 Sophie Valve来了么？ Now, where's Sophie Valve?
她在那儿 她很不幸地失去了双亲 There she is. She lost both her parents -
他们在一次野合时被杀了 they were killed on a picnic.
能告诉我们发生了什么吗？ Can you tell us what happened?
飞机上掉下一只冻狗 砸死了他们两个 A frozen dog fell from a plane and killed them
(Sophie的阿姨 Philippa Jute)
当时他们在做爱 while they were making sex.
—你发现时 他们已经死了么？ —还活着 - Were they dead when you saw them? - Alive.
别吹牛了 你个笨蛋 Oh, come off it, you twit.
他们肯定死了 就跟舌头被锤子砸了一样 They'd be dead - completely smashed up like tongues under a hammer.
你觉得这会给你日后带来心理性性障碍么？ Do you think this will give you psychosexual problems in later life?
(Sophie V'haalbjje —— 父母在做爱中死去)
这事一定对你冲击很大 It must have messed up your brain.
恐怕这女孩将会长期处于不安中 I'm afraid we will have to see that little girl being upset in a rather more sustained way
今晚的恼人节目中将继续报道 later on in tonight's disturbing broadgram.
(时代嘉宾 Claire Rayner)
这么说吧 虽然可能性不大 Let me put it this way - it's not likely to happen,
但如果我现在攻击你 你会打还我么？ but just say I attacked you now, would you beat me off?
会 但仅此而已 Yes, but no more than that.
—你会打我多久？ —打到解气 - How long would you beat me off for? - As long as it took.
—是么？ 一直打？ —是的 到解气为止 - Really? All the way? - Yes, as long as it took.
有观众看着 你也打？ Would you beat me off even if people were looking?
但愿他们帮我一起打 I would hope they'd join in and help me.
很好 我也这么希望 Right, so would I.
如果这时 有人加入进来帮我 What if someone else came in through the door and started attacking you as well,
你会一对二么？ would you beat us both off?
这有点吃力 但我必须这么做 嗯 It would be hard work but I'd have a go. Yeah.
如果你的对手是一屋子的男人 你也会以一敌百么？ If you get to a point where a whole room full of men was attacking you, you would beat them all off?
—在那种情况下 我必须啊 —是的 当然 - I'd have to somehow I'd in that case. - Of course you would.
虽然我也不知道该怎么应战 I'm not quite sure how. I think I would be...
—如果你被逼到死角 你能打败他们？ —当然了 我必须啊 - If you were in a corner, you would beat them off? - I'd have to. Of course.
那么谁付钱清理善后？ And who'd pay for the dry cleaning afterwards?
这种小事不值一提 Oh, paying's the least of it.
谁说艾滋病患者弱不禁风？ (Groaning) Hey, who says Aids guys are too puny to do tough stuff?
这兄弟就患艾滋病 但他就要掰赢我了 This guy's got Aids and he's beating me at arm wrestling.
哦 好样的 天啊 Oh! Well done. Oh, gosh.
干得好 真的 Well done! Yeah...yeah.
我们这位朋友 不幸在次输血时感染了病毒 Our friend here was unlucky enough to catch his virus from a blood transfusion...
对不起 我是从我男友那里 No sorry, sorry, I caught it from my boyfriend.
—你男友？！ —是的 我的伴侣 - Your boyfriend?! - My partner. Yeah.
所以你得的是坏艾滋 不是好艾滋？ So you've got bad Aids, not good Aids?
你是坏人 通过吸毒 同性行为 而感染的 都是自作自受 You're bad. You caught it through your own fault. It's drug abuse, or a homosexual act.
—等等 —好艾滋是无辜的 这才是绿丝带的蕴义 - Just a minute... - Well, good Aids is something innocent. That's what this ribbon's about.
我支持那些感染上好艾滋的人 I support somebody who's caught good Aids
因为他们自身毫无过错 because they caught the virus through no fault of their own.
那么你做了什么 So what have YOU done,
身带基佬瘟疫 避免传染给他人了么？ with the big gay plague, could you've done to stop people catching it?
—就个人来说 至少我用套套 - Personally... I'd work. I use condoms.
不 我是说现在 No, I mean here and now.
就像在座的其他人所想的 你考虑过我们的安危么？ Like everyone else in this audiance, I'm thinking, what about us?
我的安危呢？ 你采取什么防传染措施了么？ What about me now? What have you done to stop us catching it?
万一有个疯子拿着枪闯进来 把你打成了碎片 What if a madman broke in here with a machine gun and shot you to pieces?
你的血就会溅到在场尖叫的群众嘴里 Anyone here yawning would get your blood in their mouths.
真荒唐 That's ridiculous.
你不该来 你得了坏艾滋 你不该来 You shouldn't have come in. You've got bad Aids. You shouldn't have come in.
对吧？ 等下休息时能把他请出去么？ 赶他出去 Right? Can we have him removed during the next break? we'll have him removed during the next break
也许你们还记得去年三月的另一桩同性恋丑闻 You may remember another scandal involving a gay man last March.
报纸铺天盖地报道 皇家海军舰队沃特福德号的 Mervyn Bruge船长 Captain Mervyn Bruge of the HMS Watford was all over the public press.
记者深入幕后 Libby Shuss went behind...
—你根本听不进 对吧？ —别碰我！ 离我远点 - You don't listen, do you? - Get away from me! Get away from me.
那艘船 那个船长 (Libby) 'The boat, the Captain
以及各种 “他就是活例子” 的标题 and the "He's a poof" headlines.
丑闻因一段船长Mervyn Bruge 被拍到的视频而曝光 The scandal followed video evidence of Captain Mervyn Bruge
(船厂安控画面) 当时他对一把枪进行了诡异动作 indulging in an odd practice with a gun.
开始 我以为他要射海鸥 我就看着 (Man) 'First I think he's going to shoot a gull I've been looking at.
但他拿起枪 塞进嘴巴 ‘Stead he takes the gun, sticks it in his gob.
开始吮 Starts sucking it, you know.
就像护士把婴儿的手塞进他嘴里 让他安静 就那样 Like a nurse puts the baby's winkie in her mouth to make her go quiet. Like that.
(Seagulls)
海军立即给予了否认 (Libby) 'Naval denial was swift.
Bruge船长当时在甲板上 Captain Bruge was on deck.
(国防部海军发言人 Hug Maharggs 爵士)
他发现自己的枪很脏 就清理了一下 He noticed his gun was dirty and he cleaned it.
这个解释一度没有被推翻 (Libby) 'For a while that was it. Nothing was doing.
直到我们从另一个人那儿获得了惊人的新证据 Until we rooted out startlingly new evidence from this man -
他就是Ben Fetch Ben Fetch.
他为Bruge船长“服务”了一年 For a year, he served UNDER Captain Bruge.
很多船上的演习都是裸体进行的 (Ben) 'A lot of the on-board drill were done in the nude...
(画面来自Bruge私人影像资料)
或者只穿护裆 or sometimes just with jockstraps.
我们演习时 他总是大声地放音乐 And he used to play loud music while we were doing it.
他用摄像机拍摄了我的消防演习 He made me shoot fire drill on his camera -
—被人拍也是很开心的 —小伙子们 - I liked being a cameraman and all that. -..the lads.
很奇怪吧 但久了就习惯了 Strange thing, but you kind of got used to it after a while.
我们曾经去他办公室 去报道 都赤身裸体 Used to go to his office, report to his office and, in the nude,
(曾在船上服役的 Ben Fetch)
就那么站着 just kind of stand there like,
而他就坐在桌边写东西什么的 and he'd be at his desk writing notes and whatnot
还自顾自哼着小调 and he'd be humming little tunes to himself
他实在 有点怪 and he was a bit...a bit weird.
包扎阴茎 Dress the penis.
最糟的是急救演练 (Ben) 'The worst thing was first aid drill.
我们得练习包扎 但包扎对象总是阴茎 We used have to dress wounds, but it was always dressing penises -
阴茎伤口 penis wounds.
(国防部)
现在 国防部还能如何辩解？ The MOD, what will they say now?
我将带着录像带进去一探究竟 I'm going inside like a ferret with a tape.
Hugh Maharggs爵士 如何回应了我们的震撼视频呢？ What did Sir Hugh Maharggs make of our devastating new shots?
显然 让每个船员都学会包扎阴茎伤口 很重要 (Sir Hugh) 'It is absolutely important for every man on board to be able to dress a penis wound.
其实 海军作战中受的伤 93%都发生在阴茎部位 93% of wounds sustained in naval battle are in fact to the penis.
我想让您看下这个 I want you to take a look at this.
为什么要这样贴臀行进？ (Libby) What is the point of that pelvic marching?
两个人这样贴着走 Two men marching like that
比两个人分开走 更能缩小攻击目标 present a much smaller target than two men marching like that.
Bruge船长总是坚持 在逃生演习中 Bruge often insisted that on man-overboard drill,
要求船员裸体 he was the one thrown overboard naked.
这是为了... 锻炼船员 对搭救对象呈现的各种状态 处变不惊 Um...One cannot be ashamed of what one's pulling out of the water.
如果有一个裸体者在水中扑腾 急需营救 If it is a nude man thrashing around, gasping for his life,
船员不能退缩不前 one must not shrink from that task
因为 人 总羞于面对裸体 because one is abashed about his nudity.
但两个月前 Ben Fetch 被除名了 (Libby) 'But two months ago, Ben Fetch was fired
因为在被调至皇家海军舰队古奇号的第一天 when, on the first day of his transfer to HMS Gooch,
(不合时宜的裸露行为)
他赤身裸体地到岗报道了 he reported for lifeboat duty stark naked.
(一丝不挂)
我想我是强迫成习惯了 便那样做了 Force of habit, I suppose. So that was me done.
接着 军事法庭 监狱 你懂的 Court martial, in the slammer, you know.
在沃特福德号上 裸体是可以的 On Watford, nakedness was applicable,
但在古奇号上 每个人都穿着衣服 除了Fetch but on Gooch, everyone was dressed apart from Fetch,
他赤身裸体 而且似乎还 who was stark naked and seemed to be indulging
很享受不穿衣服的无拘无束 in some fit of, sort of anarchic clotheslessness
这是不能容忍的 which cannot be tolerated.
(# Bronski Beat: Smalltown Boy)
Fetch现在失业了 他是基友船的受害者 (Libby) 'Fetch is now unemployed, a victim of the gay boat
而Bruge船长 还做了不利Fetch的证词 and of Captain Bruge, who testified against him.
船长说 我整天就 He was the one who said I spent all my time
爱脱衣 各种脱 他还拿出对我不利的证据 taking my clothes off and whatnot and he gave evidence against me
当年是他让我身先士卒的 and he was the one who told me to do it in the first place.
海军和国防部都没有给出解释 (Libby) 'No explanation was given by the Navy or the MOD.
(没有解释)
(海军)
(国防部)
但4天前 Bruge船长上岸休假 被我逮个正着 But four days ago Bruge was on shore leave and I went on a nab.
—Bruge船长 你为什么要跟你的船员搅基？ —什么？ - Captain Bruge, why are you being gay with your men? - What?
—我们看到你猥琐的吮枪 —闭嘴！ 滚蛋！ - We saw you gobbling a gun like a man's part. - Fuck up! Get away!
啊！ 抓住他！ Aargh! Get him!
您曾发表观点 说 Ben Fetch是个危险的基佬 You made a point, that, you say, Ben Fetch was dangerously gay.
没错 他就是基佬 Yes, he's totally gay.
他基得像窗玻璃 Fetch is as gay as a window.
当基佬犯法么？ What's wrong with being gay?
同性恋不会游泳 他们吸引敌军雷达 吸引鲨鱼 Homosexuals can't swim, they attract enemy radar, they attract sharks,
他们坚持要在船长桌边裸秀 they insist on being placed at the Captain's table,
他们睡懒觉 they get up late,
他们在射击时挠队友痒痒 they nudge people whilst they're shooting,
他们 游手好闲 ah...they muck about...
想象一下你的船上有个基佬 Imagine the fear of knowing you have a gay man on board a boat,
当你晚上躺下时 你会想 when you retire at night, you think to yourself,
“神啊 会不会明早起来发现大家死光了？” "God, will I wake up and find everybody dead? "
—有可能 —这样这船没法开 - Quite. - You can't run a ship like that.
没错 No.
所以最后总有借口 So there is a good reason after all.
如果早点搬出这套 就能省下我们很多事 Could have saved us a lot of fuss if they'd told us that in the first place.
但也就不会有这场好戏可看了 —— 也许这才是关键 Still, wouldn't have made such a good story - and maybe that's the point.
接下来为您带来 性与幻想 (Chris) 'Next on the felch spoon, sex and fantasy.
听到门铃响 我去开门 The door bell rings and I go to answer it
Alan穿着警察制服 and Alan is wearing a police uniform
他问能否让他进门 并给我出示了证件 and he says could he come in, shows me his ID,
确认了我的身份 告诉我说 他带来一个坏消息 checks who I am and says that he has some very bad news for me.
于是我把他让到玄关 他说我的女儿 So I ask him into the hallway and he says that my daughter -
我们的女儿 丧身车祸了 our daughter - has died in a car crash.
我顿时惊慌失措 然后... And I become very upset and...
我们做爱了 we have sex.
有请时代特别嘉宾 彼得·使劲夫 (Chris) 'And a zeit guest special with Peter Stringfellow.
他名叫彼得·使劲夫 但这只是个名字么？ Peter Stringfellow is his name, but is it only a name?
彼得·使劲夫只是个名字么？ Peter Stringfellow, is it only a name?
—不 —那你有真名咯？ - No. - But you do have a name?
是的 人们叫我... Yes, I do have a name and people...
—你不否认有真名？ —完全不 - You would never deny that? - Not at all.
—来谈谈你的俱乐部 叫什么来着？ —使劲夫 - Let's talk about your club. What's it called? - Stringfellows.
好吧 不过我们在谈你的俱乐部 Ok, but essentially we're talking about your club,
—它名叫...？ —使劲夫 - it's called... - Stringfellows.
《火眼金睛》 第一节完
《火眼金睛》 第二节
欢迎回来 但是闭嘴 (Chris) 'Welcome back and shut up.
《星期日体育报》的老板David Sullivan 有了媒体新计划 New media plans for Sunday Sport's David Sullivan.
你拥有一个有线电视频道 对吧？ You've got a cable TV channel, haven't you?
不 我的执照只能开设 “小的”成人频道 No, I've got a licence for Little Adult Channel, which...
—给“不大的” 成人看 —是的 - A channel for little adults. - Yes.
Ted Maul 带我们回顾媒体上的性 And Ted Maul reviews sex in the media.
这是比利时最热门的节目 (Ted) 'This is Belgium's most popular show.
拍摄一个阴茎罢工的男人 It features a man on a penis trike
在积木堆中很横冲直撞 crashing round a playpen.
(Circus music)
而明年 在我国 将有一个4小时的晚间秀节目 And in this country next year, a nightly four-hour show
让一个男人看一堆女人的照片 will feature a man looking at pictures of women
(约克郡电视台 《选她吗？》)
从中选择 他愿意上谁 and saying which one he'd hump.
不 No.
选 Yes.
不 (Sneers) No.
选 Yes.
欢迎回来 现在来谈 性与儿童 Welcome back. Now sex and children.
也许你想喊停 Stop right there, you might think,
但别喊 因为“停” 这个词 but don't say it because to hear the word stop
是很多事的起因 is for many the biggest turn-on of all.
我们请来了Judy Luton 她在那儿 Now we have Judy Luton in the audience. Judy, there you are.
你好 Judy 告诉我们你都经历了什么？ Hello, Judy. Now tell us what happened to you?
—我当时9岁 —嗯 - When I was nine... - Yeah.
我被叔叔侵犯了 .. I was abused by my uncle.
性侵犯？ Sexually abused?
还记得你叔叔长相么？ Do you remember what he was like, your uncle?
他帅么？ Was he a handsome man?
—他... —看着我 放松 很好 - He... - Just look at me. Take it easy. OK.
看着我 很好 Just look at me. Right.
他有我帅么？ Now was he as handsome as me?
我就 举个例子 Just...for example.
不 我... No, I...
没我帅吧 继续看着我 Not quite. Stay looking at me.
再来一下 好么？ Just do that again, will you?
天啊 你真的... God, you are...
12岁 12.
你... (Mutters) Do you...
如果在雪中跌倒 会尖叫么？ If you fall over in the snow, do you make a couple of bumps?
嗯 Um...
也许你 你不看 成人频道么 (Muttering) Probably do, don't you... some adult channel.
很容易 就这么容易 你也会 像这样 It is as easy... it's as easy as that, as you, as that,
发现家庭关系有点微妙 for something to go wrong in a family.
我们现场还有遭遇同样问题的人 哪位？ We had someone else with a similar problem. Who was it?
那位 你经历了什么？ Ah...yeah. What happened to you?
我父亲在我4到16岁期间 反复侵犯我 My father abused me repeatedly between the ages of four and 16.
但他最近不常这样了？ But he doesn't have a lot recently?
—是的 —很好 - No. - Good.
现在 话题从受侵 转到手淫 Now, from abuse to self-abuse,
手淫甚至干扰了美国的参议员选举 something which has been disrupting the senatorial elections in the United States.
Austen Tassletine 带来连续报道 Austen Tassletine reports reports reports.
三天前 参议员 Dale Lee Agsby This was the moment three days ago when Senator Dale Lee Agsby
因在直播现场 突然爆发 而毁了自己的参选拉票活动 plunged his campaign into crisis with an unprecedented outburst on live television.
没有尊严 ..no pride.
Oh...
哦 哦 尊严 Oh...oh...pride.
(Sniggers)
(Audience cries out)
观众都不敢相信自己的眼睛 No one quite believed what they'd seen.
他说着说着 就当众掏出了JJ He was talking when all around he just gets out his dick, man.
在集会场合取出了他的外生殖器 并操纵其流出液体 ..extract his genitalia at a rally and manipulate them to issue.
若干束生殖液被有韵律地射向人群 Several cords of reproductive mucus were expelled rhythmically into the crowd.
(独家亲眼见证者 现场群众——粗暴·副本) 一大坨什么东西就飞向观众了 A big gob of the stuff went out in the audience somewhere.
确实看上去像是自我放纵的手淫行为 It does indeed look like an impulsive act of self-abuse.
参议员Agsby 似乎掏出了一条外层为皮肤的管子 Senator Agsby seemed to unsheathe a length of skin-clad tube.
他的肉体破衣而出 他剧烈地摇晃着 思索着他的尊严 His anatomy has broken cloth and he staggers around vigorously ransacking his dignity
直到从他的肉叉喷嘴口 释放出若干升的丝白色液体 until finally he releases several arcs of liquid silk from the fleshy nozzle of his fork.
但在头两天 被包围的Agsby竞选正营 But for two days, the besieged Agsby camp
只宣称参议员身体不适 would only say the Senator was unwell.
对好事者来说 这就是天上掉下的馅饼 For the mischief makers, it's been a gift on a plate.
(Man burps on radio)
他会怎样？ 去“淫会”工作？ What's he going to do, work in Dong-ress?
(Chuckling)
—好吧 我首先想到了粘液 —太有创意了 - Ok, I came first in the slimeries. - Can't believe you did that.
对生意人来说 这是不可多得的商机 (Austen) 'And for the entrepreneurs, a bonus boom-bomb benefit bowling alley.
这是 疲蛋配拉链汁 A whacked-out meatball with zipper juice.
(餐厅主厨 Romo Metaxxas)
那是 雪顶粉棍 That's a big pink stick with a lot of cream puking out the top.
你可以配上 抽动咖啡 解腻 And you can wash it down with a cup of jerk-coffee.
以此嘲讽 很好 Derisive and derisory, yes,
但Agsby并非没有认同者 but Agsby was not without approbators.
他扯开了帷幕 He thrust aside the curtain
他在昭告天下 政治是如何对群众射精的 and he proclaimed, admitted politics is just spewing jism in public. You know.
我们听懂了么？ 没有 我们哭得就像被耍的婊子 Do we listen? No, we just weep like teased vaginas.
中午 被围困的Agsby正试图穿越人群 (Austen) 'Midday and beleagued Agsby makes a break for it...
我们清楚地看到 他又旧病复发了 and is clearly seen in the grip of an aggressive seizure.
对于Agsby的主要支持者 那些家庭主妇来说 For Agsby's mainly female family-man supporters,
她们无疑一觉睡醒 the time had clearly come to wake up
并闻到了恶心的奶茶味 and smell some unpleasantly milky tea.
那么Agsby为什么非得在公众场合自贬身价呢？ So why would Agsby blow it on a public debasement,
虽然很有快感 albeit a pleasurable one?
我从一开始就看出他要干嘛了 The moment he turned, I knew, it's the way he always does it.
(Agsby的大学女友 Honolee Dolholly)
他一耸肩一偻背 我就知道他要掏那话儿了 Started hunching the shoulder and I knew he was going to get his dick out.
他每次都这样 我甚至很惊讶 他能一直忍到今天 He was always this way and it's a wonder to me he hasn't done it before now.
有次他射在我家母狗脸上 把她吓坏了 One time he jerked off in my dog's face, and she was very, very upset.
但他昨天的声明引起舆论哗然 (Austen) 'But in a sensational announcement yesterday,
Agsby说他没去找神父忏悔 Agsby claimed he'd not been pounding his parson.
多年来 我一直忍受着 I have for many years suffered secretly
普瑞斯特迪德维克症的困扰 from the painful effects of Prestor Didwick's congena,
那是种罕见的血液病 会引起器官无意识僵直 a rare blood disorder which causes sudden involuntary erective pressure.
参议员解释说 演讲前 他捂嘴打了个喷嚏 The senator explained he'd sneezed into his hand just before speaking,
然后便发病了 and then suffered a massive attack of congena.
我反复试图 用手把器官塞回去 I tried repeatedly to return the organ with my fist...
但 手上粘着的鼻涕 ah...with the effect that the nasal mucus...
射进了人群 ah...flew across the room...
(Audience gasps)
结果伤到了一些人 ..and hit a few people, as you saw.
很 抱歉 Ah...sorry...uh...
他又要来？ (Man) Is he going to do it again?
别拍！ 别拍！ (Senator) No cameras! No cameras!
人声鼎沸不绝于耳 我不禁要问 With the sound of that hullabaloo still ringing in its ears, I have a question -
如果Agsby是个女人 还会有此类骚乱么？ would there really have been all this fuss if Agsby had been a woman?
我不相信 你呢？ I somehow doubt it, don't you?
以上来自Austen Tassletine Austen Tassletine.
最后下定论前 来听一下Peter Tatchell的观点 Now, part your belief curtains for a final word on the matter from Peter Tatchell.
(时代嘉宾 Peter Tatchell*) (*英国LGBT运动领导者)
—那接下来是什么？ —你问我？！ - So what's next? - So what's next?!
我是问 你的下一场运动是什么？ Yeah, what do you reckon? I mean, what's gonna be the next issue
会在下次大选前么？ and will it before the next election?
无疑 “怒火”*组织将在下次大选时 发起干预活动 I think undoubtedly, "Outrage!"* will make an intervention at the time of next election. (*英国同性双性恋权益维护组织)
你们会...？ Are you going to... (Croaked out)
我们应该会竭尽所能 向当局者施加压力 I think we'll be thinking about doing what we can to put pressure on various people in authority.
不过吧 你懂的 我是说 如果 Yeah, b-b-but, man, you know... I mean, if that...
被提上议事日程 was on the agenda,
青蛙也不会出井吧？ I mean that, the frog wouldn't come out of the box, would he?
青蛙当然会出井 The frog certainly WOULD come out of the box.
(Croaked out)
如果两名内阁大臣出柜 If two cabinet ministers came out...
我指 霍华德... Howard... (Croaked out)
那当然会推波助澜 That would certainly make a very very big impact.
是说 工党会... (Sniggers) You say Labour would then...
另两人也会跟着出柜是吧？ two of them would come out as well probably, wouldn't they?
他们就像小孩一样 还玩跟牌 They're following suit like, you know, kids playing snap.
我觉得吧 Well, I think, you know,
问题关键在于 大家都不愿当出头鸟 The problem is everybody's too scared to do it by themselves.
你会看到一伙国会议员同时出柜 You get 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 MPs all coming out at once,
没人会单独出列 none of them are picked on individually.
这样他们能相互扶持 团结一致 —— 当然了 They'd all be able to have the mutual support and solidarity -
如果政客也做得到的话 hopefully - of their colleagues.
现在有 杰克·斯特劳① 罗伯特·库克② ... 迈克尔·霍华德③ You get Jack Straw, Robin Cook... Michael Howard - (①②工党 ③保守党)
他们出柜会引起质疑么？ would there be an argument for them coming out if they weren't gay at all?
你这观点很有趣 Well, that might be an interesting proposition.
他们要证明自己 It's a bloody convincing argument.
给 ... 寄盒今天的节目录像吧 Why not send... (Croaked out)... a tape of this programme
告诉他 “好了 伙计 你明显是...” say... (Techno beat)... "Come on, mate, you're obviously... (Techno beat)...
—你就是个... —没错 - "You're a big... (Croaked out)" - Yes.
那么我们得出什么结论呢？ 问问观众 So where does that leave us? Well, let's ask our audience.
多少人改变了观点？ How many of you have changed your minds?
为什么？ And why was that?
谢谢 还有一位全裸的无性欲观众 参与了整场节目 Thanks. Now throughout tonight's programme, we've also had a naked asexual man
他坐在杆顶 读小黄书 up a stick watching some pornography.
你得出什么结论没？ Have you reached any conclusions?
我希望节目给了你们启发 Well, I hope that's been of some help.
最后带来一些娼妓新闻 We'll just leave you with a couple of items of whore news.
有个娼妓巨汉 在A47*公路上 飙着挖掘机 There's a large build up of whores in a digger on the A47* tonight. (*连接伯明翰与大雅茅斯的公路干道)
也别忘了 在莱斯特市 乔安娜·林莉① 安妮塔·罗迪克② 海伦娜·邦汉·卡特③ And don't forget that, in Leicester, Joanna Lumley, Anita Roddick and Helena Bonham Carter (①③英国女演员 ②英国女企业家 Body Shop创始人)
整晚卖身 are all whoring themselves all night
为了募集善款给一些孩子买积木 to raise a little money to buy some coloured bricks for some children.
海伦娜的特别献身 吸金无数 Helena's speciality there is a golden shower.
如果你在大雅茅斯 当心那个娼妓巨汉 And if you're anywhere in Yarmouth, watch out for that giant whore,
他仍逍遥法外 引发了包括警察在内的民众恐慌 it's still on the loose, terrifying everybody, including the police.
就是这样 晚安 That's it. Good night.