[ Birds Twittering ]
[ Dog Barking In The Distance ]
[ Airplane Flying Overhead ]
[ Murmuring ]
[ Bell Tolling ]
Mod f-x-square, d-x.
So please finish Percival for next time.
I know many of you had this as undergraduates, but it won't hurt to brush up.
Thank you, Steven.
I also put an advanced Fourier system on the main hallway chalkboard.
I'm hoping that one of you might prove it by the end of the semester.
Now the person to do so will not only be in my good graces...
but also go on to fame and fortune...
by having their accomplishment recorded and their name printed...
in the auspicious M.I.T. Tech.
Former winners include Nobel laureates, Field's medal winners...
renowned astrophysicists and lowly M.I.T. professors.
Well, that's all. If you have any questions...
I'm sure that Tom has the answers.
[ Applause ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Door Closes ]
- %% [ Country ] - Hi, Will.
- Kirsten, how you doing? - I'm all right. How are you?
- Good. - I didn't get on Cathy last night.
- No? - No.
- Why not? - I don't know.
- Cathy! - What?
Why didn't you give me none of that nasty little hoochie-woochie...
- you usually throw at me? - Oh, fuck you...
and your Irish curse, Chuckie.
Like I'd waste my energy spreadin' my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick?
- Go home and give it a tug yourself. - [ Boy ] Tootsie Roll!
T-Toots! [ Chuckling ]
She's missin' a tooth, Will.
She's got skin problems. I don't--
Plus, it's like 5-to-2 Morgan ends up marryin' her, you know what I mean?
There's only so many times you can bang your friend's future wife.
It's wrong. Where you goin'?
- I'm gonna take off. - Fuck you, you're takin' off. It's, like, what, 10:00?
No, I'm tired.
Irish curse?
She don't know. There ain't no Irish curse.
[ Buffer Humming ]
[ Buffer Clicks ]
[ Chalk Clicking Chalkboard ]
[ Chattering ]
Out! Stop pressuring me back.
Stop crowding the plate! Which one will it be?
You're gonna get charged, you know that?
You think I'm afraid of you, you big fuck? You're crowdin' the fuckin' plate.
Hey, uh, Casey's bouncin' up a bar at Harvard next week. We should go up there.
- What are we gonna do up there? - I don't know.
We'll fuck up some smart kids. Probably fit right in.
Ow! Fuckin' punk.
- Oh, what's up? You still tough? - Come on!
Come on. Come on. That's it.
% I'd hold you forever here %
% In my arms %
- Professor Lambeau? - Yes?
I'm in your applied theories class. We're all up at the math and science building.
- Come here. It's Saturday. - [ Chuckles ]
- Unless you wanna have a drink with me tonight. - [ Chuckling ] Maybe.
We just couldn't wait until Monday to find out.
- Find out what? - Who proved the theorem.
This is correct. Who did this?
- Jack? - It wasn't me.
- Nemesh? - [ Chuckling ] N-No way.
- Come on, Joey, now! - Billy, McNamara's up.
[ Chuckie ] Come on, kid!
- Joey, dig it out! Dig it out! - Son of a bitch!
Bring it down, Mac! That's how to do it! Attaboy! Take two, Mac.
Hey, Morgan, who's the girl with the striped pants? She's got a nice ass.
- [ Morgan ] Yeah, that's a real nice ass. - Who's the guy she's with?
That fuckin' guinea. I hate that little bitch. Will knows him.
Yeah, I do. Yeah, fuckin' Carmine Scarpaglia.
- That guy used to beat the shit out of me in kindergarten. - That guy?
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Fuck this. Let's get some food.
- Oh, what, Morgan, you're not gonna go talk to her? - Fuck her. [ Burps ]
- I could go for a Whopper. - Let's go to Kelly's.
Morgan, I'm not goin' to Kelly's just 'cause you like the take-out girl.
- It's 15 minutes out of our way. - What the fuck are we gonna do? We can't spare 15 minutes?
[ Morgan ] Double burger.
Chuck, I had a double burger.
Would you shut the fuck up! I know what you ordered. I was there.
- So give me my fuckin' sandwich. - What do you mean, your sandwich? I bought it.
Morgan, how much money you got on you?
I said I'd get change when I get the snow cone.
I said that when we pulled up. Give me my sandwich and stop bein' a prick.
All right, well, give me your fuckin' 16 cents that you got on you now.
We'll put your fuckin' sandwich on layaway. Here we go. Keep it right up here for ya.
We'll put you on a program. Every day you come in here with your six cents.
- At the end of the week, you get your sandwich. - Are you gonna be an asshole?
What am I, fuckin' sandwich welfare? I think you should establish a good line of credit.
Like how you bought your couch-- payment plans.
Remember how your mother brought in ten dollars every day for a year.
She finally got her couch Rent-A-Center style.
- Can I have my food, please? - Here's your fuckin' double burger.
- Whoa! - Hey, hold up, Chuck.
- Slow it down. - Who do we got?
- I don't know yet. - Hey, douche bag!
- [ Glass Shattering ] - Yeah, you, you skank face!
- Shut the fuck up. - Get outta here. - What are you worried about?
Why don't you lick my love stick?
We seen the guy 15 minutes ago. We should've fight him then. We're eatin' our snacks now.
- Shut up, Morgan, you're goin'. - I'm not goin'. - So don't go.
- I'm not goin'. - Fuckin' go, Morgan.
Let me tell you somethin'. If you're not out there in two fuckin' seconds,
when I'm done with them, you're next.
Carmine, it's me, Will. Remember, we went to kindergarten together.
% Way down the street there's a light in his place %
- [ Birds Twittering ] - % He opens the door, he's got that look on his face %%
[ Bell Tolls ]
- Fuckin', let's go, man. - Step on his fuckin' head.
Get his ass on the ground. Stop that motherfucker.
Motherfucker, die!
- Carter! - Come on! - [ Groaning ]
[ Chuckie ] Will! Will, come on!
Will, come on. Let's go. Let's go.
Easy, brother, easy.
- [ Chuckie ] Hey, fellas, thanks for comin' out. - Come here!
Whoa! Whoa!
[ Groans ]
[ Dispatcher On Walkie-talkie, Indistinct ]
Ah. Fuck.
[ Students Chattering ]
Is it just my imagination, or has my class grown considerably?
Well, by no stretch of my imagination...
do I believe you've all come here to hear me lecture.
Rather, to ascertain the identity of the mystery math magician.
So without further adieu, come forward, silent rogue, and receive thy prize.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint my spectators, but...
it seems there will be no unmasking here today.
However, uh, my colleagues and l have conferred,
and there is a problem on the board right now...
that took us more than two years to prove.
So let this be said: The gauntlet has been thrown down,
but the faculty have answered and answered with vigor.
[ Car Alarm Screeches ]
Hey, when's the arraignment?
Next week.
[ Chalk Clicking Chalkboard ]
[ Chattering ]
Sorry.
- What are you doing? - Sorry.
That's people's work. You can't graffiti here.
- Don't you walk away from me! - Hey, fuck you!
Oh, you're a clever one. What's your name?
[ Door Closes ]
Oh, my God.
Looks right.
[ Cheering ]
Will, how retarded do you gotta be to get fired from that job?
I mean, how hard is it to push a motherfuckin' broom around?
Mitch, you got fired from pushin' a fuckin' broom.
I got fired 'cause management was restructuring.
Yeah, restructuring the amount of retards they had workin' for 'em.
Shut up. You get canned more than tuna, bitch.
At least I got a motherfuckin' job right now, don't I?
- Why'd you get fired, Will? Come on. - Management was restructuring.
- My uncle could probably get you on a demo team. - Can he do that?
You kiddin' me! I asked you yesterday if I could get a job.
And I told you "no" yesterday.
- What's up, Casey? - What's up, Case? - What's up, Big Case?
%% [ Rock ]
Let's sit over here.
All right. Let's go.
Oh, this is-- this is a Harvard bar, huh?
I thought there'd be, like, equations and shit on the wall.
I will take a pitcher of the finest lager in the house.
Timeout. I'm gonna have to bust a little move on them Harvard hotties down there at the bar.
- Work some magic. - Get some potion for us.
- [ Giggling ] - Oh, hello. - Oh, hello.
- Hi. How are ya? - Fine.
- So, do you ladies, uh-- - Come here often?
Do I come here? I come here a bit.
I'm here, you know, from time to time.
- Do you go to school here? - Yep.
- Yeah, that's it. I think I had a class with you. - Oh, yeah. What class?
- History. - Maybe.
Yes, I think that's what it was.
You don't necessarily-- may not remember me. You know, I like it here.
- It doesn't mean 'cause I go here, I'm a genius. I am very smart. - Hey.
- Hey, how's it goin'? How are ya? - Good. How ya doin'?
What class did you say that was?
- [ Together ] History. - Yeah.
Just history? It must have been a survey course then.
- Yeah, it was. It was surveys. - Right.
You should check it out. It's a good course. It'd be a good class.
- How'd you like that course? - You know, frankly,
- I found that class, you know, rather elementary. - Elementary.
- You know, I don't doubt that it was. - Yeah.
I, uh, I remember that class.
It was, um-- It was just between recess and lunch.
Clark, why don't you go away?
- Why don't you relax? - Why don't you go away?
-I'm just havin' fun with my new friend. -Are we gonna have a problem?
No, no, no, no. There's no problem here.
I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution...
of the market economy in the southern colonies.
My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities--
especially in the southern colonies--
could most aptly be characterized as...
- agrarian precapitalist. - Let me tell you somethin'.
Of course that's your contention. You're a first-year grad student.
You just got finished readin' some Marxian historian-- Pete Garrison, probably--
You're gonna be convinced of that till next month when you get to James Lemon.
Then you're gonna be talkin' about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania...
were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740.
That's gonna last until next year. You're gonna be in here regurgitatin' Gordon Wood,
talkin' about, you know, the prerevolutionary utopia...
and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
[ Scoffs ] Well, as a matter of fact, I won't,
because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of--
Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions...
predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth.
You got that from Vickers' Work in Essex County. Page 98, right?
I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us?
Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?
Or is that your thing? You come into a bar. You read some obscure passage.
Then pretend-- pawn it off as your own.
As your own idea just to impress some girls? Embarrass my friend?
See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years,
you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own.
You're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life.
One: Don't do that.
And two: You dropped 150 grand on a fuckin' education...
you could've got for $1.50 in late charges at the public library.
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah, but I will have a degree,
and you'll be servin' my kids fries at a drive through on our way to a skiing trip.
Maybe, but at least I won't be unoriginal.
If you have a problem with that, we could step outside. We could figure it out.
No, man, there's no problem. It's cool.
- It's cool? - Yeah.
- Cool. - Damn right, it's cool.
How do you like me now?
My boy's wicked smart.
I just spent three minutes in this fuckin' place and run into a barney, huh?
There it is.
- Nice to meet you. - They were fine, man.
I was gonna close the deal, but then Chuck-- Billy insulted one of 'em--
The heavyset girl said I had a receding hairline, and I was a few pounds overweight.
And I was, like, "Go fuck yourself."
I swallowed a bug.
[ Chuckling ] Hi.
- You're an idiot. - What?
You're an idiot. I've been sitting over there for 45 minutes...
waiting for you to come and talk to me.
But I'm tired now, and I have to go home.
I couldn't sit there anymore waiting for you.
- I'm Will. - Skylar.
- Oh, and by the way,
that guy over there-- Michael Bolton clone--
He wasn't sitting with us, so to speak.
- I know. I kinda got that impression. - Good. Okay.
Well, I've got to go.
Gotta get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
- No, I didn't mean you. - That's all right.
There's my number. Maybe we can go out for coffee sometime.
All right, yeah. Maybe we can just get together and eat a bunch of caramels.
- What do you mean? - When you think about it,
- it's as arbitrary as drinkin' coffee. - Oh. Yeah. Okay.
Uh, right, then.
- Oh, come on. You're kidding. - [ Giggling ]
Yo!
- Fuck you, bitch! - Fuck you.
- There goes them fuckin' barneys right now with his skiin' trip. - Hold on.
We should've beat that old bitch's ass.
Do you like apples?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Well, I got her number! How do you like them apples?
[ Chuckling ]
% We arrived tonight %
% The miles were over me %
% I turned off the light %
% So, come on, night %
% Everyone who's gone %
% Home to oblivion %
% So come home %
% So come on by %%
Come.
Excuse me? Is this the Buildings and Grounds office?
Yeah. What can I do for you?
I just need the name of a student who works here.
- No students work for me. - Could you please check?
I have this guy who works in my building.
- He's about this high. - Which one is your building?
- Two. - Two. Building two.
- Look, if anything was stolen, I should know about it. - No, it's nothing like that.
I just need his name.
- I can't give you his name unless you have a complaint. - This is Professor Lambeau.
And this is Professor Hayes.
Tom, please.
This is important. Please.
Will didn't show for work today.
[ Sighs ] Got this job through his P.O. You can call him.
- P.O.? - Yeah. Parole officer.
Thank you.
Asshole.
[ Chuckling ]
[ Will ] There is a lengthy legal precedent, Your Honor, going back to 1789,
whereby a defendant can claim self-defense against an agent of the government...
if that act is deemed a defense against tyranny, a defense of liberty.
[ Clears Throat ] Your Honor, Henry Ward Beecher,
- in Proverbs from the Plymouth Pulpit, 1887, said, quote-- - 1887?
- Excuse me. - This is the 20th century.
- He's gonna make a mockery. - I am afforded the right to speak in my own defense, sir,
by the Constitution of the United States.
- Don't tell me about the Constitution. - This guarantees my liberty.
"Liberty," in case you've forgotten, is a soul's right to breathe.
When it cannot take a long breath, laws are girded too tight.
- Without liberty, man is a syncope. - Man is a what?
- Ibid., Your Honor. - Son, my turn.
I've been sitting here for ten minutes now lookin' over this rap sheet of yours.
I just can't believe it. June '93, assault.
September '93, assault.
Grand theft auto, February of '94.
Where, apparently, you defended yourself and had the case thrown out by citing...
"free property rights of horse and carriage" from 1798.
Joke. January '95, impersonating an officer.
Mayhem, theft, resisting. All overturned.
I'm also aware that you've been through several foster homes.
The state removed you from three because of serious physical abuse.
You know, another judge might care, but you hit a cop. You're going in.
Motion to dismiss is denied. $50,000 bail.
- [ Gavel Pounds ] - Thank you.
[ Woman ] Rise.
[ Ringing ]
- Hello? - [ Will ] Uh, Skylar?
- Yep. - Hey, uh, it's Will.
- Who? - It's Will.
You know, the really funny, good-looking guy you met at the bar the other night.
I don't recall meeting anyone who matches that description. I think I'd remember.
Oh, all right, you got me. It's the ugly, obnoxious, toothless loser...
who got hammered and wouldn't leave you alone all night.
- Oh, Will! I remember. - [ Chuckling ]
How are you? I was wondering if you'd call me.
- Yeah, look, I was wondering-- - Yo, what's up, baby?
- Hold on one second. - What you doing? Want some of my ass?
- Herve, I remember you from juvi. How you doing? - What you doing?
Oh, yeah, sorry about that.
I was wonderin' maybe we could get together sometime this week.
- Sit out at a cafe. Maybe have some caramels. - Oh, that sounds wonderful.
- Yeah? - Yeah, sure. Where are you?
Uh, well, actually, this is just a shot in the dark,
but, uh, there's no chance that you're pre-law, is there?
- Have a seat. - Thank you.
Nice talking to ya.
What the fuck do you want?
I'm Gerald Lambeau.
Professor you told to fuck himself.
Well, what the fuck do you want?
I've spoken to the judge, and he's agreed to release you under my supervision.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Under two conditions. - What are those?
First condition is that you meet with me every week.
- What for? - Go over the proof you're working on,
get into some more advanced...
combinatorial mathematics,
finite math.
Sounds like a real hoot.
And the second condition is that--
that you see a therapist.
I'm responsible to submit reports on those meetings.
If you fail to meet with any of those conditions, you will have to serve time.
All right. I'll do the math, but I'm not gonna meet with any fuckin' therapist.
It's better than spending that time in jail, isn't it?
[ Laughing ]
[ Clears Throat ]
[ Dog Barking ]
I read your book, and "Mike" was havin' the same problems...
that "Chad," the stockbroker, was havin'.
Absolutely right. Right on the button. Good for you, Will.
- Very nice. - Thank you.
Will, the pressures-- and I'm not judging them.
I'm not labeling them,
but they are destroying your potential.
No more shenanigans. No more tomfoolery. No more ballyhoo.
You're right. God, I know.
You're not gonna get off that easily. Come on, Will. A bit more.
- Well, I mean, I do do things, you know? - What-- What kind of things?
I do things that, you know, I mean, I hide from people.
- You hide, do you? - No, no. I mean, I like-- I go places. I interact.
- Really? What sort of places? - Just certain clubs.
More. That's nice. Yes. What sort of clubs?
Like, uh, like Fantasy.
Fantasy. That's nice. A bit more.
It's something like when you get in there, the music, like, owns you.
It's like that house music. It's like-- % Bom, bom, bom %
% Bom-bom-bom Boom, boom, boom, boom %%
- You know, you start dancin'. - Boom, boom, boom. Yeah.
It's just--
Yes.
[ Chuckling, Sighing ]
Do you find it hard to hide the fact that you're gay?
[ Stammering ] What are you talking about? What?
Look, buddy, two seconds ago, you were ready to give me a jump.
A jump? Are you-- [ Laughing ]
I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you.
Hey, I don't have a problem with it. I don't care if you putt from the rough.
What are you-- P-- Putting from the rough? What on earth are you talking about?
A difficult theorem could be like a symphony.
It's very erotic.
[ Therapist ] You go somewhere else. I can't handle this.
- Wow. - [ Will ] Thank you, Henry.
- [ Grunting ] Ah, Henry. - Hi, Gerry.
You know something? I can't do this pro bono work anymore.
- It's just not-- It's not worth it. - What happened?
Well, I'm going on national television next week.
I mean, I haven't got time to tell you, much less talk to that raving looney in there.
An absolute lunatic, he is.
[ Lambeau ] Henry.
[ Man ] Okay, you are in your bed, Will.
Now, how old are you?
Seven.
What do you see?
Something's in my room.
What is it?
It's like a-- It's a figure. It's hoverin' over me.
You are in a safe place, Will.
It's t-- [ Sighs ] It's touchin' me.
Where is it touching you?
It's touching me down there,
and I'm nervous.
You don't have to be nervous, Will.
We start dancin' and dancin'.
It's just beautiful,
'cause we can make...
a lot of love before the sun goes down.
% Skyrockets in flight %
% Afternoon delight %
- % Hey, hey, hey, afternoon delight % - Jesus.
% Skyrockets in flight Da-da-da-da %
- I'm sorry, Rich. - I have better things to do with my time.
% Hey, hey, afternoon delight %% Come on! One dance!
You really hypnotized me, you know?
- For God's sake, Will. - What? Oh, come on. He left. You can't pin that on me.
- I told you to cooperate with these people. - Look...
- into my eyes. - Get out, Will.
I don't need therapy.
- That's enough. Get out! - [ Imitating Spooky Sound ]
- I called Mel Weintraub this morning to see-- - Oh, what's the use?
What do you want to do?
- [ Sighs ] Well, there's someone. - Who is he?
He used to be my, uh-- my roommate in college.
Trust. Very important in a relationship.
It's also very important in a clinical situation.
Why is trust the most important thing...
in making a breakthrough with a client?
Maureen, stop the oral fixation for a moment and join us.
- Vinnie. - Um--
Because, uh--
Trust is, uh-- Trust is life.
Wow. That's very deep. Thank you, Vinnie.
[ Professor ] Next time, get the notes from your brother.
If a patient doesn't feel safe enough trust you, then they won't be honest with you.
Then there's really no point for them being in therapy.
I mean, hey, if they don't trust you, you're never gonna get them to sleep with you.
That should be the goal of any good therapist. Nail 'em while they're vulnerable.
That's my motto.
Oh, good, everyone's back. Welcome back, everybody.
- Hello, Sean. - Hey, Gerry.
Um, ladies and gentlemen, we are in the presence of greatness.
Professor Gerald Lambeau, Field's medal winner for combinatorial mathematics.
- Hello. - Anyone know what the Field's medal is?
It's a really big deal. It's like the Nobel prize for math.
Except they only give it out once every four years. It's a great thing.
It's an amazing honor. Okay, everybody, that's it for today.
Thanks. We'll see you Monday. We'll be talking about Freud.
Why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse. Thank you.
- How are you? - It's good to see you.
Good to see you.
- Sean, I think I got something interesting for ya. - Yeah?
What, you have to have blood and urine? What's up?
Why didn't you come to the reunion?
You know, I'm-- I've been busy.
- You were missed. - Really?
- So how long has it been since we've seen each other? - Before Nancy died.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I was in Paris. It was that damn conference.
I got your card. It was nice.
[ Grunting ]
- Come here. - Now that's a takedown.
Hey, what happened? Did you get leniency or what?
I got, uh, probation and then counseling two days a week.
Joke. You're a smoothie. Come on, Morgan! Just submit!
- [ Groaning ] - [ Chuckling ]
Hey, Bill, just-just get off him. We're gonna miss the game.
- I've got a full schedule. I'm very busy. - Sean, Sean.
This-This boy is incredible. I've never seen anything like him.
What makes him so incredible, Gerry?
- You ever heard of Ramanujan? - Yeah, yeah. No.
It's a man. He lived over 100 years ago. He was Indian.
- Dots, not feathers. - Not feathers. Yeah.
He lived in this tiny hut somewhere in India.
He had no formal education.
- He had no access to any scientific work. - Coffee?
- You, sir? - Just a little.
But he came across this old math book,
and from the simple text, he was able to extrapolate theories...
that had baffled mathematicians for years.
Yes. Continued fractions. He wrote, uh--
- Well, he mailed it to Hardy at Cambridge. - Yeah, Cambridge. Yeah.
- And Hardy immediately recognized the brilliance of his work... - Mm-hmm.
and brought him over to England, and then they worked together for years,
creating some of the most exciting math theory ever done.
This-This Ramanujan--
his-his genius was unparalleled, Sean.
- Well, this boy's just like that. - Hmm.
- But he's-- he's a bit defensive. - Hmm.
I need someone who can get through to him.
- Like me? - Yeah, like you.
- Why? - Well, because you have the same kind of background.
- What background? - Well, you're from the same neighborhood.
- He's from Southie? - Yeah.
Boy genius from Southie.
- How many shrinks you go to before me? - Five.
- Let me guess. Barry? Henry? Not Rick? - Yeah. Yeah.
- Sean, please, just meet with him once a week. - Mm-hmm.
Please?
It's a poker game with this kid. Don't let him know what you've got.
He probably even read your book, if he could find it.
It's gonna be hard for him to find.
- Hi, Will. - Hi.
This is Sean Maguire. Will Hunting.
How are ya?
- Yeah. Let's get started. - Yeah, let's do it.
I'm pumped. Let's let the healing begin.
- Will you excuse us? - Yeah, please, Tom.
You, too, Gerry.
Yeah, of course.
- How are you? - [ Door Closes ]
Where you from in Southie?
-l like what you've done with the place. -Oh, thanks.
Do you buy all these books retail,
or do you send away for, like, a "shrink kit" that comes with all these volumes included?
- Do you like books? - Yeah.
- Did you read any of these books? - I don't know.
- How about any of these books? - Probably not.
What about the ones on the top shelf? You read those?
- Yeah, I read those. - Good for you. What do you think about 'em?
I'm not here for a fuckin' book report. They're your books. Why don't you read 'em?
I did. I had to.
- Must've taken you a long time. - Yeah, it did.
United States of America: A Complete History, Volume l.
Jesus. If you wanna read a real history book,
read Howard Zinn's A People's History in the United States.
That book'll fuckin' knock you on your ass.
Better than Chomsky's Manufacturing Consent?
- Do you think that's a good book? - You fuckin' people baffle me.
You spend all your money on these fuckin' fancy books. You surround yourselves with 'em.
- They're the wrong fuckin' books. - What are the right fuckin' books, Will?
- Whatever blows your hair back. - Yeah. Haven't got much hair left.
Hey, you know you'd be better shoving that cigarette up your ass.
- It'd probably be healthier for you. - Yeah, I know.
- It really gets in the way of my yoga. - You work out, huh?
- What, you lift? - Yeah.
- Nautilus? - No, free weights.
- Oh, really? Free weights, huh? - Yeah. Yeah, big time.
- Yeah? - Just like that.
- What do you bench? - 285. What do you bench?
You paint that?
- Yeah. Do you paint? - Uh-uh.
- Do you sculpt? - No.
Do you like art?
- Do you like music? - This is a real piece of shit.
Oh, tell me what you really think.
Just the linear and impressionistic mix makes a very muddled composition.
It's also a Winslow Homer rip-off, except you got whitey rowin' the boat there.
Well, it's art, Monet. It wasn't very good.
- That's not really what concerns me though. - What concerns you?
-Just the coloring. -You know what the real bitch of it is?
It's paint-by-number.
Is it color-by-number? Because the colors are fascinating to me.
- Aren't they really? - You bet.
I think you're about one step away from cuttin' your fuckin' ear off.
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
Think I should move to the south of France, change my name to "Vincent"?
- You ever heard the sayin', "any port in a storm"? - Yeah.
- Yeah, maybe that means you. - In what way?
- Maybe you're in the middle of a storm, a big fuckin' storm. - Yeah, maybe.
The sky's fallin' on your head. The waves are crashin' over your little boat.
The oars are about to snap. [ Sniffling ]
You just piss in your pants. You're cryin' for the harbor.
So maybe you do what you gotta do to get out.
You know, maybe you became a psychologist.
Bingo. That's it. Let me do my job now. You start with me. Come on.
- Maybe you married the wrong woman. - Maybe you should watch your mouth!
Watch it right there, chief, all right?
Ah.
That's it, isn't it?
You married the wrong woman.
What happened? What, did she leave you?
Was she, you know-- [ Whistling ] banging some other guy?
If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you.
I will fuckin' end you.
Got that, chief?
Time's up.
Yeah.