♫ 我会独自享受 ♫ ♪ I'll have a blue Christmas ♪
♫ 无你左右的蓝色圣诞节 ♫ ♪ Without you ♪
♫ 思绪受你牵引 ♫ ♪ I'll be so blue ♪
♫ 我定如此优伤 ♫ ♪ Thinkin' about you ♪
♫ 你会过得很好 ♫ ♪ You'll be doin' alright ♪
♫ 在你的白色圣诞节里 ♫ ♪ With your Christmas of white ♪
♫ 但我只继续享受 ♫ ♪ But I'll have a blue ♪
♫ 这孤单的圣诞节 ♫ ♪ Blue Christmas ♪♪
我是艾米·米切尔 I'm Amy Mitchell.
今年 And this year
我毁了圣诞节 I ruined Christmas.
圣诞节是目前为止 Christmas is by far
最让妈妈们充满压力的时间 the most stressful time of the year for moms.
有成千上万件琐事要去做 There are a million things to do.
你还得把它们都完美地做好 And you have to do them all perfectly
否则你永远都不会原谅自己 or else you will never forgive yourself.
更重要的是 你的孩子也不会原谅你 And more importantly, neither will your kids.
此刻我感觉就像 I literally feel like
是世界上最糟糕的妈妈一样 the worst mom in the world right now.
也许我们应该回到圣诞前开始 Maybe I should start at the beginning.
我一直很爱圣诞节 I've always loved Christmas.
这是我一年中最喜欢的时候 It's my favorite time of the year.
最重要的是 我爱和我家人共度的时光 Most of all, I love the time with my family.
因为我所想要的 Because all I want
所有母亲们想要的 all any mom wants
那就是让她的孩子们能有一个超棒的圣诞节 is for their kids to have an amazing Christmas.
♫ 不能像你那样爱我 ♫ ♪ Can't love me like you ♪
♫ 爱 爱 爱 爱 ♫ ♪ L-O-V-E ♪♪
也就是说 圣诞有一大堆工作要做 That said, Christmas is an insane amount of work.
首先 你得为每个你见过的人 First, you have to buy gifts
买礼物 for every human being you've ever met.
今年我送了给我倒咖啡的小哥一个香薰蜡烛 I gave my coffee guy a scented candle this year.
为什么我要那样做 Why did I do that?
然后 你得装饰你的房子 Then, you have to decorate your house
实话说 我不太擅长做这个 which, clearly, I suck at.
我已经尽力了 夏曼茵 I'm doing the best I can, Charmaine!
再然后 你得去参加你孩子们的圣诞表演 Then, you have to go to all your kids' Christmas shows
这个就 which are...
还好吧 Yeah.
接着 到处是夸张的圣诞派对 Then, there's all the over-the-top Christmas parties.
天啦 Oh, my God.
这是龙虾圣诞帽吗 Are these lobster Santa hats?
现在有这玩意儿了吗 Are these a thing now?
我操什么鬼 What the fuck?
然后是下厨 Then, there's all the cooking
打扫 all the cleaning
包装 all the wrapping.
快疯了 It's insane!
时间永远都不够 There's just never enough time.
Argh!
圣诞节前6天
-嗨 妈妈 -嗨 - Hi, mom. - Hey.
-嘿 -比赛如何 - Hey! - How was the game?
非常棒 公牛队赢了 It was great! The Bulls won.
-恭喜 -恭喜 - Yes! Congratulations. - Yes!
-亲爱的 -宝贝我爱你 - Hi, honey. - I love you, baby.
哇 你的房子看起来很棒 Wow. Your house looks really great.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我还有很多没做… I still-I still got lots left to do, but...
我可以帮什么忙吗 Can I do anything to help?
没有 除非你知道 No, no, not unless you know how
如何用魔法修好圣诞灯 to magically fix Christmas lights.
是的 我可以 Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.
只需要换个保险丝 Yeah, you just swap out the fuse.
很简单 It's pretty easy.
不骗你 你真性感 That's pretty hot. I won't lie.
今晚你绝对会得到一个惊喜 Oh, you're definitely getting the gold-star treatment tonight.
我喜欢 把惊喜留到最后 I like that, but hold that thought.
好的 Okay.
哦 你爸真的太棒了 Oh. Your dad is awesome.
我以为你讨厌他 I thought you hated him.
什么 亲爱的 为什么你会这样说 What? No, honey, what? Why would you say that?
上周你来的时候 When you came over to the house last week
我听见你和爸爸在卧室 I heard you and daddy in the bedroom
你在不停对他尖叫 and you kept screaming at him.
哦 是 Oh, yeah.
不 甜心 那是 No, honey, those were...
那是快乐的尖叫 Those were happy screams.
听起来并不快乐 They didn't sound happy.
然后你锤在墙上 And then you punched the wall
吼出了F开头的字 and yelled the F-word.
好 我 Okay, I-I, um...
我不太记得 Yeah, I don't, I don't really recall
有那样过 doing that, so, yeah.
-我不知道是否有发生过 -发生过 - I don't know if that happened. - You did.
你就像这样 “哦 我操” You were like, "Oh, my fucking God!"
就像这样 Just like that.
“喔 我操” "Oh, my fucking God!"
好了 好了 嘘嘘 Okay, alright. Shh! Shh!
是这样的 Um, here's the thing.
你爸和我是在玩一个有趣的 Your dad and I were just playing a fun
大人玩的游戏 little grown-up game.
你们玩了七次 You played the game seven times.
六次半啦 但谁会去数啊 Six and a half. But who's counting?
这样 我们 Here's the thing, let's just not...
不要再讨论这件事了 Let's just not talk about this.
-好吗 -成交 - Cool? - Cool.
-来 击掌 -好的 - High-five. Awesome. - Got it.
哦 不 Oh, no.
怎么了 What is it?
我妈要来过圣诞 My mother's coming for Christmas.
哦 我操 Oh, my fucking God!
谢谢帮我装饰圣诞树 小家伙们 Thanks for helping me decorate the tree, guys.
伯纳德 一起把它们挂树上好吗 Bernard, let's hang 'em on the tree. Okay, buddy?
哦 谁把这个大的棕色装饰 Oh, who put the big brown ornament
挂在树的正前方了？ right on the front of the tree?
-它看起来像便便 -是的 宝贝 - It looks like doodie. - Yes, it does, baby.
所以妈咪打算把它移到背面去 And that's why mommy's gonna move it around back.
哦 不要 宝贝 Oh, no, sweetie
不要喝树的水 we don't drink the tree water.
不要喝树的水 We don't drink the tree water
因为我们是人 好吗 'cause we're people, right?
妈咪 真的有圣诞老人吗 Mommy, is there a Santa Claus?
当然有啦 You bet there is, buddy.
-好啦 -你在骗我吗 妈咪 - I know. - Are you lying to me, mommy?
哦 天哪 不要哭了 Oh, God, make it stop.
你还有什么骗了我 What else have you lied about?
-嘿 宝贝 -嗨 爸爸 - Hey, babe. - Hey, dad.
-嘿 小家伙们 -嗨 - Hi, guys. - Hi.
-你还好吗 -是的 - You alright? - Yeah.
-圣诞树看起来棒极了 -谢谢 - Tree looks great. - Thank you.
-要我来喂双胞胎吗 -是的 拜托了 - Want me to feed the twins? - Yes, please.
-嘿 小家伙 看到你很高兴 -谢谢 - Hey, buddy. Good to see you. - Thank you.
-我们去吃点东西 -宝贝 不哭啦 - Let's get some food. - It's okay, buddy.
不哭啦 Aw, it's alright.
哈 圣诞快乐 琪琪 Hah! Merry Christmas, Kiki!
-妈 嗨 -哦 天哪 - Mom? Hi! - Oh... my... gosh!
我以为你周五才来 I thought you weren't coming until Friday.
我只是上了早一些的航班 Well, I just hopped on an earlier flight.
-提早了三天吗 -哦 - Three days earlier? - Oh.
我还没有把客房收拾好 I-I haven't made up the guest bedroom or anything.
没关系 我和你睡 That's okay. I'll just sleep with you.
大汤匙和小汤匙 Big spoon, little spoon.
现在我和我老公睡 I usually sleep with my husband now.
嘿 你想看我做的运动衫吗 Hey, you wanna see the sweatshirt I made?
我喜欢这个图案 I love this picture.
看 你和你的小胸胸 And look, you were just getting your little tiny breasts.
-其中一个啦 -你刚到这儿 - Well, one of 'em, anyway. - You just got here.
我们就不要讨论我的胸了 Let's not talk about my breasts.
-然后另一个就蹦出来了 -是的 - Then the other one popped out. - Yeah.
谢天谢地 Thank goodness!
哦 琪琪 Oh, Keeks!
如果你办事得当 If you play your cards right, you could get
你也会得到一件像这样的圣诞礼物 a sweatshirt just like this for Christmas.
哦 不用啦 Oh, no.
哦 琪琪·迪依 我迫不及待地要 Oh, Kiki Dee, I cannot wait
在接下来的三周每时每刻 to spend every waking minute
与你共度了 of the next three weeks with you.
嗯 Hmm...
哦 Oh!
嗯 Hmm...
你在闻我的头发吗 Are you smelling my hair?
是的 Yes.
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
如果我再脱一个阴门的毛 If I have to wax one more pussy today
我都要熄火了 I'm gonna black out.
什么时候开始美国女人们 Since when did every woman in America
都要在圣诞的时候除去阴毛的？ need a completely hairless vagina on Christmas?
还有人要脱毛吗 Anyone else here for a wax?
天哪 感觉像50多个阴道 Oh, my God, that's like 50 more vaginas.
好吧 下一个是谁 Okay, who's next?
哦 不 不是你 北美野人 Oh, no, not you, sasquatch.
现在我没办法处理你的 I can't handle you right now.
嗯 我看看 Hmm, let's see.
哦 你 贝蒂·怀特 Oh. You. Betty White.
我很好奇 I'm intrigued.
随我来 Come with me.
小姐 近来如何啊 Hey, what's up, lady?
-妈妈 -哈哈 - Mom? - Ha-ha!
慢着 他妈的是怎么回事 Wait, what the actual fuck?
哦 天哪 Oh, my God!
哦 天哪 天哪 Ah! My God! My God!
哦 上帝啊 Oh, my God!
慢着 你都没告诉我 Wait, I... Well, you didn't tell me
你会来过圣诞 you were coming for Christmas.
到圣诞了吗 It's Christmas?
是啊 你不是因为这个来的吗 Uh, yeah. Isn't that why you're here?
是的是的 就是我来的原因 Totally! Totally why I'm here.
圣诞快乐 宝贝 圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas, lady. Merry Christmas.
上帝啊 瞧瞧你 Jesus, look at you!
你看起来都没变老 You bitch, you don't age at all.
你看起来真他妈的性感 Look how fucking hot you look!
瞧瞧你这对大胸 Look at those boobs.
哦 谢谢 你看起来有点变老了 Oh, thanks. You're lookin' a little bit older.
但还好 看起来还好 But good, you look good.
好像三年没见了吧 What's it been, like three years?
三年吗 Three?
哇 真的吗 Whoa, really?
哦 宝贝 我都不知道 Oh, gosh. I don't know, babe.
我不太懂今年是怎么回事 I don't really know what year it is.
你为什么穿着黑色的睡衣 Why are you wearing black pajamas?
哦 不是 我 Oh, uh... No, yeah, I, uh...
我在一家水疗店上班 I work at a spa.
你他妈有工作了？ You have a fucking job?
是的 是的 Yeah. Yeah.
我在努力变得更有责任感 I'm tryin' to be more responsible and shit.
哦 你总是那么奇怪 Oh, you always were so weird.
所以 你到底为什么来这 妈 So why are you really here, mom?
你什么意思 What do you mean?
因为你只在需要钱的时候来这儿 Well, you only come when you need money.
哦 不是的 不是的 Uh, oh... No, no, no.
我没再赌博了 I don't gamble anymore.
我只是在复活节来这看看 No, I'm just here to see
我的女儿 my daughter on Easter.
-圣诞节 -哦 圣诞节 - Christmas. - Christmas.
所以我觉得我们应该庆祝一下 So I think we should celebrate.
机场在放着 I know, Thunder Down Under
《澳洲惊雷》 is playing by the airport.
我想我们应该好好玩一把 I think we should hit that hard.
-男脱衣舞娘？ -是的 - Male strippers? - Yeah.
-和你 -是的 - With my mother? - Mm-hm-hm.
在圣诞节这天 On Christmas?
是的 Yeah.
我怎么能拒绝 How could I say no?
一起去鞭打维也纳小香肠们吧 贱人 Let's go slap some wieners, bitch!
-我女儿真棒！-啊呼 - Alright! That's my girl. - Whoo!
哦 天哪 杰克森看到你 Oh, my God, Jaxon is gonna
会尿屁股的 shit himself when he sees you.
还是那个孩子吗 Still got that kid, huh?
是的 Yup, yup.
多大了 How old is he now?
15或者17岁 Oh, 15 or 17.
-哦 真可爱 -是的 - Oh, cute, cute. - Yeah.
圣诞节前6天
所以你爸妈从来没有 So your mom and dad have never
来这过过圣诞节吗 been here on Christmas before?
是的 Um, no, no.
好了 慢着 你觉得我做的食物够了没 Okay, wait, do you, do you think that I made enough food?
你认真的吗 Uh, seriously?
我可以做法式咸派 我要做法式咸派 I can make quiche. I'm gonna go make quiche.
宝贝一切都很好 Babe, everything's gonna be fine.
不 亲爱的 还不够好 No, honey, it's not gonna be fine.
我妈是这个世界上最严苛的人 My mom is the most critical human being on the planet.
在我六岁的时候 When I was six years old
我给她做了生日卡片 I made her a birthday card.
她做满标注后又还给了我 And she returned it with notes.
好吧 真是糟透了 Okay, that's fucked up.
重点是她对每件事要求完美 The point is she's perfect
基本不可能取悦她 at everything and she is impossible to please.
但如果基本不可能取悦她 But if she's impossible to please
为什么你还这么努力取悦她 why're you tryin' so hard to please her?
听好 真相是 Listen, I'll tell you the truth.
女儿们一生都在努力 Daughters spend their whole lives trying
取悦她们的母亲 而母亲 to please their mothers, and mothers
一生都在 spend their whole lives
对她们女儿喷粪 shitting all over their daughters.
世界不就是这样的么 好吧 我搞不定这个问题 It's just how the world works. Okay? I can't fix that.
我不是他妈的碧昂丝 I'm not, I'm not fucking Beyoncé.
对我而言 你是 Well, y-y-you are to me.
-哈 -我爱你 - Ugh. - I love you.
我爱你 I love you.
-嗯 -OK - Mmm. - Okay.
你觉得你妈妈会喜欢我吗 You think your mom's gonna like me?
不会 No.
抱歉我来迟了 I'm sorry we're late.
汉克开车像个娘们儿 Hank drives like a girl.
圣诞快乐 外祖母 外祖父 Merry Christmas, grandma and grandpa!
圣诞快乐 外祖父 Merry Christmas, grandpa!
-圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas!
圣诞快乐 爸爸 Merry Christmas, dad.
来 X-BOX Here, have some X-Boxes.
-真的吗 -非常感谢 - Are you serious? - Thank you so much.
妈妈从来不会给我们这些 Mum would never let us have these.
谢谢 Thank you.
嗨 瑞德门女士 我是杰西 Hi, Ms. Redmond, I'm Jessie.
很高兴见到你 It's so nice to meet you.
请把这些包放楼上 万分感谢 Please take the bags upstairs. Gracias.
好吧 妈妈 Okay. Hi, mom.
-艾米 -嗨 - Amy. - Hi.
-你看起来面色苍白 -哦 - You look pale. - Oh.
我在试一种新的护肤品 I'm just trying out a new skin thing.
哦 还好 只是化妆技术烂 Oh, good, it's just bad makeup.
不是你要死了 You're not dying.
你的圣诞树呢 Where's your tree?
我还没来得及准备 I-I haven't had time to get one yet.
艾米 今天是12月19号了 Amy, it's December 19th.
就算是犹太人现在也准备好了圣诞树 Even the Jews have Christmas trees by now.
没关系 明天我们会准备一棵 Never mind, we'll get one tomorrow.
好的 - Okay. - Huh.
对了 你有准备好吃的吗 Yeah. Do you have any food?
我已经三天没吃了 I haven't eaten in three days.
是的 我准备了 其实做的全是你喜欢的 Yeah. Oh, gosh, yes. I actual... I have all your favorites.
真可爱 It's adorable.
你让你的孩子下厨了 You let your kids cook.
好吧 Okay.
我不知道莱爱德公司也做圣诞装饰 Oh, I didn't know Rite Aid made Christmas decorations.
所以我有一整周的时间来计划 So I have the whole week planned out.
星期四我们会看《胡桃夹子》 On Thursday, we'll see "The Nutcracker."
接下来 当然我们就唱圣诞圣歌 And then, of course, on Friday, we'll all go caroling.
不幸的是 麦克是我们的男中音 Unfortunately, Mike was our baritone
而你在和他离婚 and you're divorcing him.
所以如果我们想在今年圣诞圣歌大赛中获胜的话 So we're gonna have to fill that hole
就得填补这个空缺 if we're gonna win the Caroling Cup this year.
哦 天哪 圣诞圣歌大赛 Oh, God, the Caroling Cup?
亲爱的 我生活在这儿的时候 Darling, when I lived here
我们赢了九次 we won the Caroling Cup nine times.
你要放弃我们家族赢得比赛的传统 It's too bad you've given up on
真是太糟糕了 our family's tradition of winning.
是的 我猜我是刚好有点忙 所以 Yeah, I guess I've just been a little busy, so...
呼 明显没去健身房 Well, clearly not at the gym. Whoop.
我想庆祝我凯旋回到芝加哥 I want to celebrate my triumphant return to Chicago.
我要在你房子里开一场盛大的派对 I wanna throw an enormous Christmas party at your house.
我想的是平安夜那天 如果方便的话 So I was thinking Christmas Eve, if that's convenient.
什么 不 不方便 What? No. That's not convenient.
我的意思是我们可以邀请我所有的老朋友 I mean, we can invite all of my old friends
我们可以弄一个寿司台 and we can have a sushi station
我们可以雇肯尼吉 and we can hire Kenny G
来演奏圣诞音乐 to play Christmas music.
我听说他收费已经不贵了 I hear he's not even that expensive anymore.
是的 好吧 这听起来好像有很多工作要做 Yeah, okay, that-that sounds like a lot of work.
是 真是太糟糕了 我早就邀请了每个人了 Yeah. It's too bad, I've already invited everyone.
-去哪儿 我家吗 -是的 - Where, to my house? - Yes.
184个人会来 A 184 people are coming.
什么 What?
为什么我还没有收到你的 Why haven't I gotten a Christmas card
圣诞卡片 from you yet?
我不知道 妈妈 I don't know, mom.
我猜只是哪儿出了点错 I-I-I guess it just fell through the cracks.
你发生了什么 What is happening with you?
没什么 我没有发生什么 Nothing. Nothing's happening to me.
艾米 这是圣诞节 Amy, this is Christmas.
是个大节日 It's the big show.
-我知道 -你不能游手好闲 - I know. - You can't dick around.
-我没有游手好闲 -我感觉你在游手好闲 - I'm not dicking around. - I feel you're dicking around.
妈 说实话我没有游手好闲 Mom, I'm honestly not dicking around.
是的 你就在游手好闲 Yes, you are dicking around.
我能看出你在游手好闲 I can tell when you're dicking around.
我没游手好闲 I'm not dicking around.
-放屁 就是游手好闲 -好吧 - Dick, dick around. - Okay.
好吧 Okay.
我没有游手好闲 I'm not dicking around.
行 别说脏话了 Alright, enough with the bad language.
好吧 Okay.
-我喜欢你的头发 -真的吗 - I like your hair. - Really?
是的 看起来就像你没有很努力的样子 Yeah, it looks like you're not trying so hard.
爱你 Yeah. Love you.
哦 Oh...
圣诞节前4天
我受不了和我妈一起过圣诞 I can't do Christmas with my mother.
就像和伊拉克总统海珊一起生活 It's like living with Saddam Hussein.
我妈和我呆一起的时候 My mom is only staying with me
我觉得她就是想占用我看电视的时间 because I think she wants to steal my TV.
哦 今晚我还得和我妈一起 Oh, I have to go Christmas tree shopping
买圣诞树 with my mother tonight.
感觉就像 Yeah, it's like, it's like going
围着这个城市 on a seven-hour death march
七小时的死亡行军之旅 around the city.
我女儿很想要 My daughter really wants
一个快乐公主洋娃娃 a Happy Happy Princess Doll
我找了每个地方 and I have looked everywhere
根本不知道哪里有 for it and I don't know where it is.
姐妹儿们 哪里有呢 Where is she, guys?
哪里有快乐公主洋娃娃呢 Where is Happy Happy Princess?
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
我知道这只是一个洋娃娃 但是上帝啊 I know it's just a doll, but God.
今年圣诞简直要了我的命 Christmas is killing me this year.
我操 Holy fuck.
♫ 在所有驯鹿中 ♫ ♪ Out of all the reindeer ♪
♫ 你知道你是领头鹿 ♫ ♪ You know you're the mastermind ♪
♫ 跑吧跑吧鲁道夫 ♫ ♪ Run run Rudolph ♪
♫ 伦道夫要追上你了 ♫ ♪ Randolph's not too far behind ♪
♫ 跑吧跑吧鲁道夫 ♫ ♪ Run run Rudolph ♪
♫ 圣诞老人要去城里 ♫ ♪ Santa's got to make it to town ♪♪
清醒的我做不到 I can't do this shit sober.
我也是 Me neither.
你们想去用餐区来一杯吗 You guys wanna get drunk at the food court?
-我操 当然想 -是的 - Fuck yeah! - Yeah.
-来吧 -有意思 - Come on. - Ooh, fun!
姐妹儿 你们知道什么要把我逼疯了吗 You guys, you know what drives me crazy?
-生殖器疣 -什么 - Genital warts? - What?
-生殖器疣 -不是 - Genital warts. - No.
不是的 卡拉 Carla, no.
逼疯我的是 No, w-w-what drives me crazy
我们给自己要让圣诞节完美的 is the-is the pressure that we put on ourselves
压力 to make Christmas perfect, guys.
听好 圣诞节本应该是有趣的 Look, Christmas is supposed to be fun.
是的 为什么我要有责任 Yes, why am I responsible
给整个家族的每个人 for getting every gift for everyone
准备礼物 in my entire family?
就因为我是女性吗 I mean, just 'cause I'm a girl?
-就是 -这已经是2017年了 - Yeah. - It's 2017!
我也这么觉得 I thought so.
为什么我老公自己不能 Why can't my husband
买礼物送给他妈 buy presents for his own mom?
我甚至都不喜欢他妈 I don't even like his mom.
她把放屁怪在我孩子们头上 She blames her farts on my kids.
-什么 -你知道我对我大傻个儿子 - What? - You know what I do?
-做什么了吗 -什么 - With my big dumb son? - What?
每年十一月 我去他房间 Every November, I just go into his room
随机抓一把废物 grab a bunch of random crap
包装好 在圣诞节送给他 wrap it up, give it to him on Christmas.
-他甚至都没有注意到 -真的吗 - He doesn't even notice. - Seriously?
我送给他一模一样的棒球手套 Oh, my God, I've given him the same baseball glove
大概九次吧 like nine times.
你家人给你送过什么鳖脚的礼物 And how lame are the gifts that your family gives you?
我花了数月时间为家里的每一个人 I spend months picking out the perfect gift
挑选完美的礼物 而我收到过的 for everyone in my family and all I ever get
只有免费回赠优惠券 is coupons for free back rubs.
哦 真糟糕 Oh, that's so wrong.
知道我儿子去年送我什么圣诞礼物吗 You know what my son gave me last year for Christmas?
一盒密保诺泳裤 A box of Ziploc baggies.
我想只有再包装一下 Think I'll probably just wrap it up
今年再送回给他当圣诞礼物 and give it back to him again this Christmas.
姐妹儿 我只是感觉从11月到圣诞这期间 You guys, I'm just like a-a-a giant stress ball
我压力山大 from November to New Year's.
我只是想再享受一下圣诞节 I just wanna enjoy Christmas again.
是的 Yeah.
那就享受吧 Well, then let's do it.
什么 What?
姐妹儿们 我们出什么问题了 Guys, what is wrong with us?
还没发现什么吗 都是在放屁 Have we learned nothing? This is bullshit.
我对现在的三人组很失望 I am disappointed in this threesome.
我们是母亲 We are mothers.
如果事情不按我们的来 那我们还搞什么 And if things are not going our way, then what do we do?
躲在洗手间吗 We hide in the bathroom.
-不 -不 - No. - No.
不 我们不会那样 No, we don't, we don't do that.
我们会站出来 - Uh-unh. - We s... No, we stand up.
-我们要反击 -是的 反击 - And we fight back. - Fight back. Yes.
所以如果今年我们想要按自己法子来过圣诞节 So if we wanna do Christmas our way this year
那我们就按自己的法子来过圣诞节 then we're gonna do Christmas our way.
没有完美的礼物 没有完美的装饰 No more perfect gifts, no more perfect decorations
没有完美的一切 no more perfect anything.
-去他妈的 -让我们过回真正的圣诞节 - Fuck it. - Let's take Christmas back.
我们来把屁放后面 Let's put the "ass" back.
-圣诞屁 -什么玩意儿 - In "Christm-ass." - What?
好吧 出乎我预料 但是姐妹儿 That didn't come out exactly as I planned, but y-you guys get...
-我们懂你的意思 -是的 我们懂 - Yeah, we know what you meant. - Yeah, we get you.
好的 来过回真正的圣诞 Okay, to taking Christmas back.
干杯 Yes!
♫ 出发 出发 出发 ♫ ♪ Go go go go ♪
♫ 出发 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ - ♪ Go go ♪ - ♪ Do something crazy ♪
圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas!
♫ 我想过个狂欢节 ♫ ♪ I wanna live like it's Mardi Gras and ♪
♫ 不需要休息 ♫ ♪ Don't need no R and R ♪
-如何 -好 - What? - Yes.
现在 这样会更好 Now, it's gonna be better.
这样才更好 Now, it is gonna be better.
♫ 气氛良好 ♫ ♪ Good vibes only ♪
♫ 我只要开一桶啤酒 ♫ ♪ I just tapped a keg ♪
♫ 倒满我的酒杯 ♫ ♪ I'mma fill my cup ♪
♫ 来点烟火痛饮一番 ♫ ♪ Got fireworks got booze ♪
♫ 搞砸一切 ♫ ♪ Let's blow some shit up ♪
♫ 今晚不带脑子 ♫ ♪ Tonight I'm going stupid ♪
♫ 做些没做过的事 ♫ ♪ Doing things I've never done ♪
♫ 共同点就是 ♫ ♪ We all got one thing in common ♪
♫ 我们只想找点乐子 ♫ ♪ We just wanna have fun hey ♪
好 下一个 Okay, who's next?
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ ♪ Do something crazy ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ ♪ Do something crazy ♪
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ - ♪ Do something wild ♪ - ♪ Whoo ♪
♫ 做不一样的人 ♫ - ♪ Be someone different ♪ - ♪ Hey ♪
♫ 转换风格 ♫ - ♪ Switch up that style ♪ - ♪ Hey ♪
嘿 你知道哪个对阴道更好吗 Hey! Do you know which one is better for the vagina?
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ ♪ Do something crazy ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
-顾客请注意 -抱歉这是什么情况 - Attention, shoppers! - Excuse me!
我烂醉又饥渴了 I am drunk and horny!
重复一 下 我烂醉又饥渴了 I repeat, I am drunk and horny!
♫ 慢慢讲 ♫ ♪ Break it down ♪
-♫ 做一些疯狂的事 -出发 ♫ - ♪ Do something crazy ♪ - ♪ Go ♪
♫ 出发 出发 出发 ♫ ♪ Go go go go go go go ♪
♫ 出发 出发 出发 ♫ ♪ Go go go go go go go go go ♪
哦 我操 等一下姐妹儿们 等一下 Oh, shit. Wait, you guys. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
我还是得去买圣诞树 I still have to go Christmas tree shopping
和我妈一起 with my mom.
我刚好有个馊主意 I just had a really dumb idea.
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ ♪ Do something crazy ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ ♪ Do something crazy ♪
♫ 做一些狂野的事 ♫ - ♪ Do something wild ♪ - ♪ Whoo ♪
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ ♪ Do something crazy ♪
♫ 做一些疯狂的事 ♫ ♪ Do something crazy ♪♪
好了 伙计们 给 Alright, guys. Here.
-哦 是爆米花唉 -还有多的 - Ooh, we got some popcorn. - I got extra.
-是的 -小家伙们准备好了吗 - Yes. - You guys ready?
-瞧瞧 -好的 - Look at that. - Okay.
-妈 这感觉真的很好 -同意 - This is really nice, mom. - Yeah.
我们应该每个圣诞节都这样过 We should do all Christmas like this.
是的 我们可以直接跳过那些烦人的步骤 Yeah, can we just hang out together
直接大家一起消遣吗 and skip all the annoying stuff?
可以 Yeah, you guys, I...
实际上我真喜欢像那样过圣诞 I would actually really like that.
嘿 杰西 圣诞节你应该一起来过 Hey, Jessie, you should come over on Christmas.
哦 是 是的 Um, yeah, yeah.
我不知道 这是一件大事 I don't know. It's kind of a big deal.
我不想强加些什么 I wouldn't want to impose.
爸 不要表现得如此奇怪 Don't be weird, dad.
我们会来的 We'll be here.
-这样行吗 -行 - Is that okay? - Yeah.
是的 我真喜欢那样 Yeah, I would actually love that.
-我也是 -好吧 - Me, too. - Okay.
大家晚上好 Good evening, everyo...
这是什么鬼玩意儿 What in God's name is that?
哦 这是我们新的圣诞树 Oh, that is our new Christmas tree.
我在福洛克女士店弄来的 I got it at Lady Foot Locker.
-喜欢吗 -不 艾米 我不喜欢 - Do you like it? - No, I don't, Amy.
-我觉得它很讨厌 -哦 - I find it revolting. - Oh.
你在你家里做的什么 What is this thing doing in your house?
我只是不想 I don't know, I-I didn't wanna
今年在买圣诞树上浪费时间 waste time tree shopping this year.
我只想享受圣诞节 I actually wanted to enjoy Christmas.
艾米 你是一位母亲 Amy, you are a mom.
母亲没有资格享受 她们提供欢乐 Moms don't enjoy, they give joy.
这就是做母亲的责任 That's how being a mom works.
而这棵丑陋的圣诞树给不了任何人欢乐 And this hideous tree does not give joy to anybody.
我还挺喜欢它 I don't know, I-I kind of like it.
-谢谢 -没事 - Thank you. - Yeah.
你是谁 为什么你要说话 Who are you, and why are you talking?
妈 请随和一点 这是杰西 你见过他的 Mom, please be nice. This is Jessie. You met him.
我已经厌烦我们的对话了 I'm tired of this conversation.
但如果你认为 But if you think for one second
我会放任你懒惰的把戏 I'm gonna let your lazy shenanigans
毁掉全家的圣诞节 ruin Christmas for this entire family
那你就大错特错了 you are very much mistaken.
晚安 亲爱的孩子们 Goodnight, dear children.
送你们苹果手机商店充值卡 Here, have some iTunes gift cards.
妈 说真的 你不应该再给他们礼物了 Mom, seriously? You have to stop giving them gifts.
谢谢 外祖母 Thanks, grandma.
亲爱的 你看到这些装饰品了吗 Honey, did you see these ornaments?
它们全是小鞋子 They are all little shoes.
汉克 我发誓 I swear to God, Hank.
我要把你放到消防局 I will drive you to a fire station
然后我自己走掉 and I will leave you there.
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
今晚感觉如何 How was your night?
-很好 -是吗 - So good. - Yeah?
是的 Yeah.
嗯 Mmm.
你尝起来就像葡萄汽水水 You taste like grape soda.
上床前我喝了果汁 I know. I had a Welch's right before bed.
-嗯 -嗯 - Mmm. - Hmm.
-保佑你 -保佑你 - Bless you. - Bless you.
妈 Mom!
嗨 伙计们 Hi, guys.
你在这儿做什么 What are you doing in here?
我只是像我经常做的那样 Well, I just came in here to watch you fall asleep
来这看你入睡 然后你就开始 like I always do and then you started
像动物园里的猴子一样 going at it like monkeys in a zoo.
你每晚都看我入睡吗 You watch me fall asleep every night?
除了警察世家播放的时候 Well, except after Blue Bloods, I know
我知道那天晚上会是你们的性交之夜 that's your special intercourse night.
哦 甜心 我很高兴看到 Oh, honey, I'm so glad to see
你性生活如此活跃 you have such a vibrant sex life.
对你和肯特来说重要的是 It's so important for you and Kent
只需要狠操对方 to just bang each other.
还有 肯特 And Kent.
我很高兴 I am so happy
你又能硬起来了 that you're able to get an erection again.
Yay!
琪琪 And Kiki.
他可比你爸的威猛多了 He's so much bigger than your dad was.
好的 妈妈 谢谢 Okay, mom, thanks, you can go
在我的丈夫不愿再和我做之前快离开 before my husband never has sex with me again.
好 Yup.
对了 亲爱的 Oh, and, honey
你爸爸喜欢我挠他蛋蛋 your dad liked it when I tickled his balls.
别说了 Okay, you need to stop talking.
我过会再来看看你们 I'm gonna come check on you guys in a little while.
哦 别来了 Oh, please don't.
喔 Oh, wow.
-你需要和你妈妈谈谈 -我知道 - You need to talk to your mom. - I know.
她需要给我们一些空间 She needs some boundaries.
-至少一个独处的空间 -我知道 - Or at least, a boundary. - I know.
我只是 I just, uh...
不想伤害到她的感受 I don't wanna hurt her feelings.
你知道的 自从我爸爸过世 And, you know, ever since my dad died
我就相当于她唯一的亲人 I'm, like, pretty much her only family.
我很担心 哪怕只是把她推开一点 So I'm worried that if I push her away even a little
是否会伤透她的心 that it's gonna break her heart.
琪琪 她看见我勃起 She saw my boner, Kiki.
啊 Yeah.
圣诞节前3天
喔 天啦 Oh, my God. What the...
什么鬼 What... the fuck?
好的 把法国母鸡 Okay, bring the French hens
往左边挪三英吋 three inches to the left.
对 对 Yeah. Yeah.
妈 Mom?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我在把你的房子装扮得体 I am decorating your house properly
因为很显然你自己不愿意这样做 because apparently, you are unwilling to do so yourself.
为什么我的房子必须装扮得体 Why does my house have to be properly decorated?
艾米 把圣诞节布置得很好 Making Christmas special is how you show
是让家人感受到爱意的方式 your family that you love them, Amy.
你不会想让你的孩子 You don't want your kids to think
误以为他们是毫无价值的 缺乏关爱的 that they're worthless and unloved.
-对吧 -不 当然不 - Do you? - Well, no, of course not.
每一年里妈妈牺牲这段时间 This is the time of year when moms kill themselves
来为她们的孩子创造一个欢乐的奇幻世界 to create a magical world of joy for their children.
现在不是妈妈们穿着睡衣 It is not a time of year when moms sit around
一边吃软糖 一边坐着休息的时候 in their pajamas eating fudge.
-我甚至不喜欢软糖 -很好 - I don't even like fudge. - Great.
那么就不要当一个糟糕的妈妈 So stop being a shitty mom.
-噢 -嗨 孩子们 - Oh. - Hey, kids.
你们觉得这些圣诞仪队怎么样 How do you like the Christmas cavalcade, huh?
-天呐 太棒了 -给妈妈看看怎么操作 - Oh, my gosh. It's awesome. - Show mom how it works!
真的 艾米 你会爱上这个 好吧 Really, Amy, you are gonna love this. Okay.
我们要启动仪队 完毕 We are go for the cavalcade, over.
别担心 我教你怎么做 用手机应用操作 Don't worry, I'll show you how this works. It's on an app.
你安装了室外音响 Oh, you installed outdoor speakers.
嘘 看着 看着 Shh-shh, wait for it, wait for it.
♫ 十一个吹风笛的风笛手 ♫ ♪ Eleven pipers piping ♪
♫ 十个跳跃的男人 九位跳舞的女士 ♫ ♪ Ten lords a-leaping nine ladies dancing ♪
♫ 八位挤奶的佣妇 七只游水的天鹅 ♫ ♪ Eight maids a-milking seven swans a-swimming ♪
♫ 六只生蛋的鹅 ♫ ♪ Six geese a-laying ♪
♫ 五只金戒指 ♫ ♪ Five golden rings ♪
♫ 五只金戒指 ♫ ♪ Five golden rings ♪♪
这要花多少钱 How much did this cost?
艾米 你怎么可以把孩子的乐趣 How can you put a price tag
用金钱衡量 on a child's happiness, Amy?
-很贵 -天哪 妈妈！ - It was very expensive. - God! Mom!
等等 最后是最精彩的部分 Wait for it, this is the big ending!
那些是活的山鹑吗 Are those actual partridges?
当然 Of course.
它们没有任何生存技能 They don't have any survival skills.
一个小时内就会死 They'll be dead within an hour.
-好吧 -孩子 来 - Okay. - Here, kids.
吃这个早餐糖果 Have some breakfast candy.
-你说什么 -天呐 - I'm sorry, what? - Oh, my God.
谢谢你外婆 我爱你 Thank you, grandma. I love you.
我爱你 我也爱你 孩子 I love you. I love you, too, guys.
好了 把鸟重新装上 Okay, let's reload the birds.
我不喜欢它们灰色的样子 And I hate that they're gray.
涂成白色 Let's paint them all white.
它们飞走的时候 And can't they look a little happier
能不能再喜庆一点 when they fly away?
这可是圣诞节 I mean, it is Christmas.
你妈要装饰你的房子？ Your mom decorated your house?
哦 不不不 这可不行 Oh, no, no, no, no. That is not okay.
谁管她 让她装好了 Who cares, let her decorate your house.
她想不想接下来装饰我的房子 She wanna do mine next?
这跟房子没关系 It's-it's not about the house.
只是我已经是个34岁的女人了 It's-it's about the fact that I'm a 34-year-old woman
我妈还在指点我的生活应该怎么过 and my mother is still telling me how to live my life.
那你需要反击 Well, then you need to fight her.
你说 身体对抗？ Like... physically?
没错 艾米 That is correct, Amy.
我可以教你一些基础空手道 I can teach you some basic karate moves.
我们都知道她会继续这样对你 But we all know that she's gonna keep treating you
直到你做出有力的反击 like this until you beat the shit out of her.
我不想让你看到我妈妈 I don't want you to meet my mom.
她已经62岁了 所以 She's a 62-year-old woman, so...
好吧 不过你至少需要 Fine, but you need to have
跟她严肃地沟通一下 at least a serious conversation with her.
-这听起来还可以 -我知道 我知道 - That sounds more legal. - I know. I know.
发生这种情况的时候你爸爸在哪里呢 And where's your dad in all this?
我爸 我爸善解人意 Oh, my dad, he's so sweet.
但是他完全处于我妈的控制之下 But he's completely under her control.
他没有办法 I mean, there's no way he's gonna choose
在我妈面前支持我 不可能 my side over hers, no.
-亲爱的 糟心了 -哦 - Sweetie, that's hard. - Oh...
妈妈们都这样奇怪 Moms are so weird.
你和你妈一起过圣诞怎么样？ How's Christmas with your mom?
喔 这… Oh, you know. It's...
我觉得 还不错 还不错 It's okay-it's okay, I guess. Yeah.
我妈妈把她的头发 I mean, my mom got her hair cut
剪成我这样还染成我的颜色 但是 and colored exactly like mine, but...
我觉得这样很正常 对吧 I think that's pretty normal, right?
你们…你们的妈妈 Your... Did your moms...
会不会这样做 Do your moms have your... hairstyle?
我是指 每一次 You know, every time
我觉得自己是这个组里最惨的人 I think I'm the fucked-up one in this group
琪琪 你开口说话 然后我会觉得 Kiki, you open your mouth, and then I'm like
“不 我过得还行” "No, I'm doing great."
无论如何 我妈妈和我过会 Anyway, uh, my mom and I were gonna
会带孩子去天空之城 take the kids over to Sky Zone later.
-你们想一起吗 -事实上… - Do you guys wanna come? - Legally...
我从没去过天空之城 不过 I can't get within 50 yards of a Sky Zone but...
去他妈的 我加入了 Okay, you know what? Fuck it. I'm totally in.
-艾米？ -哦 我不行 - Amy? - Oh, I can't-I can't go.
我希望可以一起 但是我妈让我们 I wish I could, but my mother's making us
去看《胡桃夹子》 所以… go see "The Nutcracker." So...
-我喜欢《胡桃夹子》 -噢 不是 - I love "The Nutcracker." - Oh, no, no, no, no!
不是那个糖梅仙子跳的《胡桃夹子》 Not like the Sugar Plum Fairy "Nutcracker."
不是 是原始版 五个小时长 No, the original, the five-hour long version
表演俄罗斯苦难人们的那个版本 that's all in Russian, where a bunch of people die.
糟透了 It's-it's awful.
-为什么你不直接拒绝 -哦 不行 - Why don't you just not go? - Oh, God, no.
他会杀了我的 No, she would never let me live it down.
还是按她说的做比较好 It's much easier to do it this way.
伙计们 今年我们不把圣诞夺回来吗 Guys, are we not taking Christmas back this year?
-不行 -额 - Yeah. - Hmm.
我是认真地在问你们 因为我不想浪费购物时光 I'm asking you that seriously 'cause I got so wasted
我记不得之前是不是说过了 at the mall, I can't remember if I actually said that
还是我作梦的时候说的 or if that's just something that I'm dreaming about right now.
该死 我上班要迟到了 Oh, shit. I'm so late for work.
你们想不想知道我现在在做什么 You guys, do you wanna know what I've been working on?
-节日快乐 -噢 - Happy Holidays. - Oh, my...
-卡拉 -弄断了我的棒子 - Carla! - Broke my cock!
-快去上班 -我走了 走了 走了 - Just go to work. - I'm out, I'm out, I'm out!
-好吗 女士 -妈妈你在这里做什么 - What up, lady? - Mom! What are you doing here?
这看上去像要做什么呢 What does it look like I'm doing?
我在等女儿给我做个免费护理 I'm waiting for my daughter to give me a free manicure.
-免费护理？ -是的 - Free manicure, huh? - Yeah.
好吧 至少不用给你阴部去毛 Alright. Well, at least I'm not waxing your pussy.
-也许下次 -好吧 - Maybe next time. - Okay.
最近如何 你找过对象吗 So, what's up? You seein' anybody?
跟一些学校出来的男人们相处 Well, you know, there was a couple of things
总有一堆屁事 going with some dads from school.
太麻烦了 But it gets complicated.
另外在一年中没有比圣诞节 Plus, like, there is not a better time of the year
更好的单身时光 to be single than Christmas.
比如说我去逛商场 I mean, it's like, I go to the mall
我看到那些情侣散步 and I see these, you know, these couples walking around.
他们 他们 手拉手 And they're, they're, like, holding hands and...
戴着围巾 You know, wearing scarves
互相喂三明治 and feeding each other sandwiches
挑选珠宝 and lookin' at jewelry, you know...
♫ 每一个和凯伊开始的吻 ♫ ♪ Every kiss begins with Kay ♪♪
-好了 停 停 -干嘛 - Alright, stop. Stop. - What?
-你听起来很孤独 -才怪 - You sound super lonely. - No!
宝贝听着 摇滚人生 Babe, listen, the rock and roll lifestyle
不是每个人都适合的 isn't for everybody.
我仍然是最摇滚的 I'm still super rock and roll.
今早我在公园醒来 I woke up in a park this morning.
卡拉 我在你厨房里发现了甘蓝片 Carla. I found kale chips in your kitchen.
-好吧 那是为我孩子准备的 -好 - Okay, those are for my kid. - Right.
它们很健康 They're healthy as fuck.
他们说这菜有利心脏 Th... They say they're heart-smart.
你很关心你的孩子 对吧 You really care about your kid, don't you?
是的 他是我的… Yeah, he's my...
妈妈 我觉得大多数人 I mean, most... people
都很关心他们的孩子 care about their children, mom.
无论如何 我只是对最近的 Whatever, I just can't keep up
家庭氛围不太了解 with the latest parenting trends.
你过得怎么样 So, how you doin'?
我还是告诉你真相比较好 我… I've been better actually, to tell you the truth. I...
我对一些事情比较感兴趣 There is something that I'm very excited about
只是需要一点点钱 which I just need a little money for...
又来了 Here we go.
-什么 -你总是这样 - What? - You always do this.
什么 What?
你重新回到我的生活 You show back up in my life.
你问我要钱 我把钱给你 You ask me for money, I give it to you.
你离我而去全部赌光 You gamble it all away and you leave me and then
然后又回来问我要更多的钱 you just come runnin' back asking for more.
我又把钱给你 因为我是个傻子 I give it to you again 'cause I'm an idiot.
这是一个合法的 This is a legitimate
商业项目 business opportunity.
你要多少 How much do you need?
不多 差不多五千 Not much. Like five grand.
真的 五千到一万之间 也许一万五最多 Really. Fiv... Between five and ten grand, maybe 15, tops.
好 我会考虑的 Okay, I'll think about it.
好的 Good!
哇你这里可有一些好东西啊 Wow, you have some really cool shit here, huh?
舒适典雅的地方 Nice, classy place.
我希望我带了钱包 I wish I'd brought my purse.
为什么我们必须再去看《胡桃夹子》 Why do we have to go to the "Russian Nutcracker" again?
我们甚至不是俄罗斯人 I mean, we're not even Russian.
俄版《胡桃夹子》 The "Russian Nutcracker"
才是经典 is the real "Nutcracker."
不是那个充满舞蹈笑料的迪斯尼畅销版本 Not the sellout Disney version with all the dancing and joy.
真的要看五个小时这么久吗 Is it actually five hours long?
是的 你会爱上它的每一分钟 Yes, and you will love every minute of it.
现在来听这首美妙的音乐 Now, just listen to this beautiful music.
这首歌叫做“鲍里斯被害之时” This song is called "When Boris Gets Murdered."
听起来像某人在向我们尖叫 It sounds like someone's yelling at us.
为什么我们不能去做一些有趣的事 Why can't we just go do something fun?
你去哪里 不是左转 Where are you going? It's not left.
-剧院在右边 -我知道 - The theater's to the right. - Oh, I know.
我们不去剧院 We're not goin' to the theater.
你要带我们去哪 Where are you taking us?
你会知道的 You'll see.
孩子们 圣诞节快乐 欢迎来到天空之城 Merry Christmas, guys! Welcome to Sky Zone!
-圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas!
-好的 三个孩子入场？ -是的 - Alright, uh, three kid passes? - Yes.
不 不 其实我们全都去玩 No, no. Uh, sorry. We're-we're actually all gonna go.
-我们都要玩 -不 不是全部 - We're all gonna do it. - No, we're not all doing it.
这里一股尿布的气味 It smells like diapers in here.
-艾米 你做到了 -嘿 - Amy! You guys made it! - Hey!
-我很高兴你们都来 -我也是 - I'm so glad you guys came! - Oh, my God. Me, too.
我想半夜的时候 我妈会杀了我 I think my mother's gonna kill me in the middle of the night.
-不过这都值了 -你好 我是卡拉的妈妈 - But it's totally worth it. - Hi, I'm Carla's mom.
-你好 艾西斯 -是的 - Hi. Isis! - Yeah.
-是的 是的 -很高兴见到你们 - Oh, yeah! Yeah! - Nice to meet you.
你好 你一定是艾米的妈妈 我是卡拉 Hi. You must be Amy's mom. I'm Carla.
贾克森 宝贝 妈妈需要更多的酒 Jaxon, honey, mama needs more hooch.
-好主意 -是 - Ooh, good idea. - Yeah.
-倒满 宝贝 -那是我儿子 贾克森 - Top me off, babe. - That's my son, Jaxon.
-这是我妈妈 艾西斯 -你好 我是露丝 - This is my mom, Isis. - Hello. Ruth.
-和露丝·巴德·金斯伯格一样 -我是艾西斯 - Like Ruth Bader Ginsberg. - Huh. Isis.
和那个恐怖组织名号一样 Like the terrorist organization.
-这是我的妈妈 桑迪 -你好 艾米 - This is my mom, Sandy. - Oh, hi, Amy.
我听过很多关于你的事情 I've heard so much about you.
是的 你们确实有一样的发型 Oh, boy! You really have the same haircuts.
你好 我是露丝 我是艾米的妈妈 Hello, I'm Ruth. I'm Amy's mom.
我是杰西 事实上我刚才和你一块在车里 I'm Jessie. I was literally just in the car with you.
来吧 谁准备好来个圣诞乐翻天？ Come on. Who's ready to have some Christmas fun?
♫ 我不害怕 我不害怕 ♫ ♪ I ain't scared I ain't scared ♪
♫ 停不下来 跳舞缺氧 ♫ ♪ I can't stop so let's go oh oh ♪
♫ 我喜欢你与众不同 ♫ ♪ I like it when you do it like that ♪
♫ 你喜欢我放肆张扬 ♫ ♪ You like it when I do it like that ♪
♫ 我知道我们何时这样走路带风 ♫ ♪ And I know when we're moving like that ♪
♫ 没有别人可以做到这样 ♫ ♪ Ain't nobody else do it like that ♪
♫ 好好看着我 ♫ - ♪ Whoo ooh ooh ♪ - ♪ Watch me now ♪
♫ 不要停下我的节奏 ♫ - ♪ Whoo ooh ooh ♪ - ♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♫ 放肆张扬 不要犹豫 ♫ ♪ I'm gon' do it how we do it ♪
♫ 像我这样 我要这样 像星星一样闪闪发亮 ♫ ♪ Like I do it I'm gon' do it like a star ♪
♫ 我喜欢你与众不同 ♫ ♪ Yeah I like it when you do it like that ♪
♫ 我知道这样做的时候你会怎么想 ♫ ♪ Know exactly what you thinking when I do it like that ♪
♫ 回到正轨 加快节奏 ♫ ♪ Pull it right back turn the beat so fast ♪
♫ 轻松低音 我就是这样 ♫ ♪ Keep the bass real low I keep it just like that yeah ♪
♫ 好好看着我 ♫ - ♪ Whoo ooh ooh ♪ - ♪ Watch me now ♪
♫ 不要停下我的节奏 ♫ - ♪ Whoo ooh ooh ♪ - ♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♫ 放肆张扬 不要犹豫 ♫ ♪ I'm gon' do it how we do it ♪
♫ 像我这样 我要这样 ♫ ♪ Like I do it I'm gon' do it ♪
♫ 就像这样 ♫ ♪ Like that ♪
♫ 嘿嘿耶耶耶 ♫ ♪ Hey hey yeah yeah yeah ♪
♫ 我就是这样 你从来不能这样 ♫ ♪ Yeah I do it do it you never do it ♪
♫ 当我舞蹈 所有烦恼都丢到一旁 ♫ ♪ I pick it up and throw it right back when I get into it ♪
♫ 当我疯狂 没有人能够阻挡 ♫ ♪ 'Cause there's no holding back when I break through it ♪
♫ 当我开始 快点跟上 你永生难忘 ♫ ♪ Better hurry up and get it when I do you won't forget it ♪
♫ 我喜欢你与众不同 ♫ ♪ I like it when you do it like that ♪
♫ 你喜欢我放肆张扬 ♫ ♪ You like it when I do it like that ♪
♫ 没有别人可以做到这样 ♫ ♪ Ain't nobody else do it like that ♪
♫ 我喜欢你与众不同 ♫ ♪ I like it when you do it like that ♪
♫ 你喜欢我放肆张扬 ♫ ♪ You like it when I do it like that ♪
♫ 我知道我们何时这样走路带风 ♫ ♪ And I know when we do it like that ♪
♫ 没有别人可以做到这样 ♫ ♪ Ain't nobody else do it like that ♪♪
嗨露丝我们给你买了油条 Hi, Ruth. We bought you a churro.
-你要吗 -不 谢谢 - You want that? - No, thank you.
这地方挺好玩的 This place is fun.
我小时候没来过这样的地方 I never went to a place like this when I was a kid.
天那 My God, no.
当我是个孩子的时候 When I was a kid, we would go down
我们溜到采石场搞点爆炸 to the quarry and blow shit up.
好极了 女士们 你们是哪里人 That's nice. Where are you ladies from?
我来自渥太华 是在加拿大 I am from Ottawa, which is in Canada.
然后我丈夫德克想要生活节奏更快 And then my husband Dirk wanted a faster life
所以我们搬到了北达科他州俾斯麦 so we moved to Bismarck, North Dakota.
我18岁的时候就有了琪琪 And then I had Kiki when I was only 18 years old.
后来德克死于慢性病 And then Dirk died. A long, slow, painful death.
不过我们终究都会孤单而又恐惧地死去 But we're all gonna die sometime, alone and afraid.
-你来自哪里 露丝 -芝加哥 - Where are you from, Ruth? - Chicago.
光明之城 The City of Lights!
风城 The Windy City.
你知道他们怎么称呼俾斯麦的吗 You know what they call Bismarck?
老年白人之城 "The City of Old White People."
你真奇怪 You are so weird.
露丝 你享受芝加哥的童年生活吗 Ruth, did you enjoy growing up in Chicago?
不 我母亲是个糟糕的女人 No. My mother was a terrible woman.
-哦 -她曾经因为 - Oh. - She once slapped me.
我在帆船上穿露趾鞋扇我耳光， For wearing open-toed shoes on a sailboat.
时代不同了 Well, it was a different time then.
就是在两个月前 This was two months ago.
我女儿觉得我太过严格 My daughter thinks that I'm so hard on her.
但是她不知道我在我母亲的管教下 But she has no idea what I went through
都经历过什么 with my own mother.
我15岁的时候去打了耳洞 When I was 15, I got my ears pierced
她骂我妓女 and she called me a whore.
然后送我去寄宿学校 And sent me away to boarding school.
-在克罗地亚 -克罗地亚？ - In Croatia. - Croatia?
-那才叫严格的女人 -额 - Now, that is a hard woman. - Uh.
-你是哪里人 艾西斯 -我不知道 - Where are you from, Isis? - I don't know, everywhere.
我从没见过父母 I never met my parents.
我基本是靠 I basically just raised myself
我的聪明才智和迷人身材养活自己的 using my wits and my tits.
哇 有点恶心了 Oh, wow. That sounds disgusting.
不 伙计们 我曾经可是REO快速马车的设备管理 No, dude, I was a roadie for REO Speedwagon
做了15年 for 15 years.
艾西斯 这里禁止吸烟 Oh, um, Isis, you're not allowed to smoke cigarettes in here.
没事 这不是香烟 It's okay. It's not a cigarette.
-你要来几口吗 -不 - You want some? - No! Ahem!
-你呢 -不 谢谢 - You want some? - Uh, no, thank you.
-你们自便 -那么 - Suit yourself. - So...
你们平安夜去哪个教堂 Which church does everyone go to on Christmas Eve?
我总是去圣母受难堂 Well, I always go to midnight mass
听午夜弥撒 at Our Mother of Perpetual Suffering.
这是这个城市最重要的地方 It's the premiere service in the city.
-好 到时一起去那里 -什么 - Great, I'll meet you there. - What?
结交新朋友很棒 This is so nice. Making new friends.
-是 -你们要玩躲避球吗 - Yeah. - You guys wanna play dodgeball?
不 甜心 外婆不玩躲避球 No, honey. Grandmas don't play dodgeball.
-我们应该… -她他妈说什么 - We should... - What the fuck did she say?
她说外婆不玩躲避球 She said, "Grandmas don't play dodgeball."
我听到了 但是我们参加 我们参加 I got it, but we play. We play.
算我一个 I'm in.
♫ 心情有点嗨 我竞速狂飘 ♫ ♪ When I get high I get high on speed ♪
♫ 油门到底 汽车轰鸣 就像磕药 ♫ ♪ Top fuel funny car's a drug for me ♪
♫ 我的心 我的心 ♫ ♪ My heart my heart ♪
♫ 点燃我的心 ♫ ♪ Kickstart my heart ♪
♫ 哇 耶 ♫ ♪ Whoa yeah ♪
♫ 点燃我的心 让心脏爆发 ♫ ♪ Kickstart my heart give it a start ♪
♫ 哇 耶 ♫ ♪ Whoa yeah ♪
♫ 宝贝 ♫ ♪ Baby ♪
♫ 哇 耶 ♫ ♪ Whoa yeah ♪
♫ 点燃我的心 愿永不停下 ♫ ♪ Kickstart my heart hope it never stops ♪
♫ 哦 耶 ♫ ♪ Oh yeah ♪
♫ 宝贝 ♫ ♪ Baby ♪♪
今晚真是一团糟 Tonight was a complete travesty.
汉克 你觉得有趣吗 Do you think that was funny, Hank?
要是我换了你的心脏药怎么样 What if I changed out your heart pills?
-那也会有趣吗 -天啦 宝贝 - Would that be funny, too? - Oh, Jesus, babe.
我不敢相信 艾米真的想 I can't believe A-Amy is actually intent
毁了今年的圣诞节 on ruining Christmas this year.
我要加倍努力了 I'm gonna have to redouble my efforts.
或者你可以不要参和 Or you could stop fighting with her
我们就可以拥有一个愉快的圣诞 and we could just have a nice Christmas.
汉克 你以为跟女儿斗争很有趣吗 Do you think I enjoy fighting with my daughter, Hank?
-是 -我也不想 - Yeah! Oh. - Because I don't.
我只想让我的孙子孙女 I'm just trying to give my grandchildren
度过一个他们应有的奇妙圣诞节 the amazing Christmas that they deserve.
这是他们没有父亲在身边的第一个圣诞节 This is their first Christmas without their father.
如果弄得完美绝伦 And if it is perfect
他们会明白不顺心的事情总会慢慢好起来 they will know that things are gonna be okay.
但是如果我们的女儿弄了一个半吊子圣诞 But if our daughter throws a half-assed Christmas
这会让孩子不安 it will rattle the kids, and they could descend
他们会陷入恐惧 沮丧 甚至去磕药 into a spiral of fear, depression and drugs.
好了 今晚孩子们看上去很开心， Okay. But the kids looked really happy tonight.
汉克 观看《胡桃夹子》的话 They would have been happier
他们会更快乐的 at the "Russian Nutcracker," Hank.
我对圣诞节的安排是迷人而奇妙的 My way of doing Christmas is enchanting and magical.
而艾米的方式则是懒惰的令人尴尬的 And Amy's way of doing Christmas is lazy and embarrassing.
我的安排更好 我的安排会胜出 And my way is better, and my way will win.
因为我总是会赢 Because my way will always win.
我很高兴这都是为了孩子 Well, I'm just glad this is all about the kids.
汉克 我是艾米的母亲 Hank, I am Amy's mother
这是我的职责 and it is my job
让她成为一个她能做到的最好的母亲 to push her to be the best mother she possibly can be.
相信我 某一天她会在大型公开会场 Trust me, someday she will thank me
发表鼓舞人心的演讲时感谢我 in an inspirational speech at some large public venue.
现在 汉克 你把我的睡衣熨好了吗 Now, are you done ironing my pajamas, Hank?
好了 露丝 Yes, Ruth.
它们还热着 They're still warm.
你感到难过 我也很伤心 I'm sorry you're upset.
谢谢 Thank you.
没事 It's okay.
你要把我的睡衣弄皱了 You're wrinkling my pajamas.
我帮你把牙刷准备好 I'll get your toothbrush ready.
谢谢 Thank you.
圣诞节前2天
天啦 别来人了 天啦 别来人了 Oh, my God. No more pussies. Please, God. No more pussies.
有人 Uh, yeah?
哦 你好 Oh, hi. Uh...
你是卡拉吗 Are you Carla?
是 就是我 Yeah, I am.
-你叫什么 -我是泰·斯温德尔 - Who are you? - I'm Ty Swindel.
我来这里给蛋蛋去毛 I'm here to get my balls waxed.
好消息 That's great news.
何不去桌上躺着 泰·斯温德尔 Why don't you hop on my table, Ty Swindel?
好 谢谢 Alright, thank you.
好的 Okay.
泰 之前你有给蛋蛋去毛吗 So, uh, have you ever had your balls waxed before, Ty?
哦 有 有 我…我是一个脱衣舞者 Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm an exotic dancer.
所以我必须时刻保持阴茎蛋蛋整洁平滑 So I have to keep my dick, balls and taint smooth at all times.
-好 好的 懂了 -嗯 - Great. Okay, got it. - Yeah.
那么我要拿掉毛巾了 Um, so I am just gonna remove the towel
然后开始去毛 如果你… and then we'll apply the wax if you...
上帝啊我的天 Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
这尺寸 Look at the size of that thing.
这 这看起来就像停车桩 This... It looks like a parking cone.
我很抱歉 我忘了… I am so sorry. I forgot to te...
它吓坏了很多人 You know, it scares most people.
不 我没有害怕 我只是 No, I'm not scared, though. I just...
我只是多做一点… I'm gonna need a lot more...
-一只要多去点毛 -好的 - Just a lot more wax. - Okay.
-等我一下 -好 - So just give me one second. - Sure.
好 Wow. Okay.
一般谁帮你的蛋蛋去毛 So, who usually waxes your balls?
哦 我在克利夫兰那找人服务 Oh, I go to a woman in, uh, Cleveland.
-那是我来的地方 -不是吧 - Which is where I'm from. - No way.
-怎么 -我来自埃奇沃特 - What? - I'm from Edgewater.
-你来自埃奇沃特？ -是的 - You're from Edgewater? - Yeah.
-我来自特里蒙特 -天呐 世界真小 - I'm from Tremont! - Oh, my God. Small world.
-难以置信 -很奇妙 - Unbelievable. - That is so weird!
就像…对吧 Like... Right?
哇 好吧 Wow. Okay, um...
你是否能帮我把阴茎拨上去 If you could just, uh, lift that penis up for me.
好的 Okay.
好极了 Yeah, that's great.
那么 什么风把你吹到芝加哥了 So, uh, what brings you to Chicago, Ty?
我在城里参加性感圣诞比赛 Well, I'm in town to do a few Sexy Santa competitions.
-很棒 -是 - Nice! - Yeah.
蛋蛋会有点痛 Okay, slight sting on your nutsack.
你是怎么进入跳舞这一行的 So, um, how did you get into dancing?
我职业是消防员 那是我本职 Oh, I'm a fireman by trade. That's what I do.
当然你可以做到 Of course you are.
几年前 And a few years ago
我去一家脱衣俱乐部灭火 I responded to this fire at a strip club.
后来老板向我走过来 好像这样说 And the owner comes up to me, and he's like
嘿 伙计 你有个超大的阴茎？ "Hey, dude. You got a massive cock?"
我好像回答 “额 是吧” And I'm like, "Uh... Well, I do."
剩下的故事 剩下的都成了历史 And the rest is, the rest is history.
哇 Wow.
泰 这是个美丽的故事 That's a beautiful story, Ty.
谢谢 Thank you.
好 有点疼 Okay. Hot burn.
-假期怎么过 -我知道 - So, um, holidays, huh? - I know.
和女朋友有什么安排吗 You got big plans with your girlfriend?
我希望 希望能有个女朋友 I wish. I wish I had a girlfriend.
大多数女的看上我这活儿 Yeah, most women, they just see me as this object
和我做完就走了 你知道吗 to have sex with and then they leave. You know?
我想说 虽然我穿着 And I'm like, "Yeah, I dance around
篮球鞋和丁字裤跳舞 "in basketball sneakers and a G-string.
但这不表示我没有情感 对吧 It doesn't mean I don't have feelings." Right?
是的 Yeah.
我 I, uh...
我能理解 I can relate.
我不知道你是什么感觉 我只是 I don't know what it is about you, I just...
我觉得和你交谈很轻松 你知道吗 I feel like you're easy to talk to, you know?
我可以畅谈 做自己 很舒服 I can just open up. Be myself. It's nice.
泰 我也是这么觉得的， I feel the same way, Ty.
好了 我需要你 Okay, um, I'm gonna need you
把脚举过头顶 to, uh, put your heels over your head
然后我可以开始清洁你的肛门周围 so I can start to go to town on your taint and your butthole.
-好的 -很好谢谢 - Yep. - Great. Thanks.
-好 -好的 - Alright. - Okay.
把这边弄干净了 Let's get these out of the way.
好的 我们继续 很好 很好 很好 Right. There we go. Great, great, great.
卡拉 Carla, uh...
冒昧的问一下 At the risk of sounding forward
你愿意今晚过来观看 um, would you be willing to come with me
我的性感圣诞比赛吗 to my Sexy Santa Competition tonight?
泰 我不和顾客约的 Uh, well, I-I don't date my clients, Ty.
我有严格的准则 I have a really strict code.
是 当然你会 你在和我开玩笑吗 Yeah. Oh, of course you do. Are you kidding me?
我知道 我知道 你应该 你应该有… I know. And I know. And-and you should. You should have a...
没有规定 泰 我逗你玩的 I'm just fuckin' with you, Ty. I don't have a code!
我在帮你肛门脱毛呢 I'm waxing your butthole.
当然愿意观看你的表演 I would love to go to your show.
-你会来？ -是的 - You would? - Yes!
好 太好了 Yes! Oh, my God.
她风趣 她迷人 She's funny and she's beautiful.
这样的美女可不是每天都能得缘相见 This is a combination you don't run into every day, you know.
你也不会经常做脱毛套餐 Well, you don't see this combo that often, either.
那么这是个约会 今晚我能看到你 So it's a date, then. I'll see you tonight.
这是个约会 It's a date.
你是否需要我伸到下面 Oh, um, do you want me to reach down there
帮你把股沟拉开 and-and I can pull my butt crack open for you if you want.
谢谢 Thank you.
没有人曾问过我 No one's ever asked if they could hold
他们需不需要帮我这样 their butt crack open for me before.
卡拉 任何时候只要你想我都会为你这样做 I'll hold my butt crack open for you anytime you want, Carla.
我为什么才遇到你 泰·斯温德尔 Where did you come from, Ty Swindel?
琪琪 你今天来这有什么问题呢 So what brings you here today, Kiki?
额 我妈妈和我 我们十分亲密 Well, um, my mom and I, we're very close.
我们想要 And we would like to be...
更加亲密 To be closer.
不 不是 No. No.
我想 我们应该 I think, uh, we would, we would like to be
更加独立一点 a little more independent.
更亲密 Closer.
桑迪 告诉我 Uh, Sandy, tell me
你和女儿的关系状况 about your relationship with your daughter.
好的 那是我最喜欢的话题 Oh, my gosh. That's my favorite topic.
我18岁的时候有了琪琪 Well, I had Kiki when I was 18 years old.
当护士把她抱到我的胸口 And when the nurse placed her on my breast
我注视着她说 I looked down at her and I said
你是我永远的最好的朋友 "You are gonna be my best friend forever."
这正常吗 永远的最好的朋友之类的？ Is that normal? The best friend forever thing?
额 我们这里不喜欢用 Uh, well, you know, we don't like to use the word
“正常”这个词汇 "Normal" around here.
不论如何 琪琪和我过去一直超级亲近 Anyways, Kiki and I have always been super close
因为我们基本上年纪相仿 because we're basically the same age.
然后我的丈夫死了 And then my husband died
我们变得更加粘糊 and we became crazy close.
我们一起去舞会 We went to prom together.
哇 Wow!
好的 Okay.
琪琪… And, uh, Kiki, uh...
这些亲密的情况让你如何作想 How does all this closeness make you feel?
-额 -她觉得很棒 - Well... - Well, she feels great.
谁不想和他们的妈妈做最好的朋友呢 Who wouldn't want to be best friends with their mom?
-我爱我妈妈 -谢谢 亲爱的 - I love my mom. - Thank you, honey.
-我真的很爱 -谢谢 - I really do. - Thank you.
但是有时候 她可以更… But sometimes, she can be a bit much.
什么 What?
-比如什么时候 -比如 - Like when? - Like, uh...
前不久的夜晚你看着我和肯特做爱 When you watched Kent and I have sex the other night.
天呐 Oh, Lord.
我只想知道你生活过得怎么样 I just wanna know what's going on in your life.
-这有错吗 -没有 - Is that so wrong? - No.
但有时 我… But sometimes, I just...
我需要一点空间 I'm in need of a little space.
我不知道现在这是什么情况 Oh, boy. I don't know what's happening right now.
-为什么你要指责我 -我不是指责你 - W-why are you turning on me? - I'm not turning on you.
我只是说 我觉得我们可以 I'm just saying, I think that we could benefit
距离产生美 是吧 from some boundaries, right?
我得了癌症 I have cancer.
-癌症？ -额… - Cancer? - Mm-hm, mm-hm.
天啦 什么癌症 Oh, God. What kind of cancer?
心脏 癌症 Heart... cancer.
-心脏癌症？ -是的 - Heart cancer? - Yeah.
第12阶段 Stage 12.
在我死之前 也许你健康的心脏会觉得 Maybe you can find it in your non-cancerous heart
应该对我好一点 to be nice to me before I die.
对不起妈妈 我 我不知道 I'm so sorry, mom. I had... I had no idea.
好了 好了 I know. I know.
天啦 Oh, God.
妈妈 Mom.
琪琪 Oh, Keeks.
琪琪 不 不 琪琪 Oh, Kiki. No, no. Keeks.
-好了 我没有癌症 -什么 - Okay, I don't have cancer. - What?
我就知道 I knew it.
但是想像下我患了癌症 But imagine if I did have cancer
对妈妈这么刻薄你会怎么想呢 how would you feel being so mean to your mother?
我不是要对你刻薄 妈妈 I'm not trying to be mean to you, mom.
我只是想对我们的关系 I'm trying to have an honest conversation
来一场诚实的谈话 about our relationship.
-我又得癌症了 -不 - I have cancer again. - No.
第二次不会有效果了 It doesn't work like that a second time.
-我得了小儿麻痹症 -我觉得小儿麻痹症能治好 - I have polio. - I think they cured polio.
-我得了黑死病 -不 - I have bubonic plague. - No.
-我得了带状疤疹 -妈妈 - I have shingles. - Mom!
我得了禽流感 I have bird flu.
-你说完了吗 -我得了弱视 - Are you done? - I have a lazy eye.
妈妈 Mom!
我们能不能谈一下我们的关系问题 Please, can we just talk about our relationship?
因为我想好好跟你解决一下这个问题 Because I wanna work this out with you.
是 Yes.
来谈吧 没错 Let's do that. Yes.
-真的么？ -千真万确 - Really? - Yes.
我是想和你一起解决这事儿的 I wanna work this out with you.
当真？ Honestly?
我想上一趟洗手间 I'm gonna run to the ladies' room
然后我马上就回来 and I will be right back.
好 Okay.
她不会回来的了 是么？ She's not coming back, is she?
嗯 不回的了 No.
她发什么神经啊？ What is the matter with her?
-你真的想知道么？ -是啊 - You really wanna know? - Yeah.
在怀上你之前 你妈妈可能还是挺正常的 Your mom was probably pretty normal before she had you.
但之后你出生了 But then you were born.
然后你整整6个月都不睡觉 And you didn't sleep for six months
所以她也6个月都没睡过觉咯 so she didn't sleep for six months.
而且你不吃东西 当你真的要吃东西了 And you refused to eat, and when you did eat
你就把她整一身衣服都呕了个遍 you would barf all over her clothes.
这就已经弄得你妈妈有那么一点点神经病咯 And that made your mom a little crazy.
长大之后 你从自行车上摔下来 把胳膊给摔断了 And then you fell off your bike and you broke your arm.
然后 你在学校又被人欺负了 And then you got bullied in school.
这还不算糟 你开始跟那个奇奇怪怪的家伙谈恋爱 And then you started dating that weird dude
这家伙鼻孔还穿了根棒子 with the stick through his nose.
以上种种 让你妈妈 And all those things made your mom
更加神经病了一点 a little more crazy.
之后你结婚了 And then you got married.
你竟然买了一间你负担不起的房子 And you bought a house you can't afford.
你养的孩子从来都不说 And you're raising kids who never say
“请”或者“谢谢”的 "Please" or "Thank you."
他们甚至连字都不认得 真她妈见鬼了 Shit, they can't even read.
以上种种 就让你妈妈 And all those things made your mom
变得超级神经病了 super-duper crazy.
然而现在 你跑到我办公室来 嚷嚷 And now you come into my office, and you go
“卡尔博士 为啥我妈妈那么神经病的？” "Dr. Karl, why is my mom so crazy?"
那么我给你的回应就是… And the answer is...
你这狗日的小兔患子 you, motherfucker.
是你逼疯了你妈妈 You made your mom crazy.
因此 你要对你妈妈好一点！因为你就是那个 So be nice to your mom, 'cause you're the one
将她搞成一沱屎的混账 who fucked her shit up.
♫ 你令今天变得更有圣诞节气息…♪ ♪ You make it feel like Christmas ♪♪
今年我们在圣诞颂歌会上必定鹤立鸡群 We are gonna dominate caroling this year.
您穿的是啥衣服呢？ What are you wearing?
亲爱的 如果你想把圣诞颂歌会的冠军杯赢回的话 Sweetie, if you wanna win the Caroling Cup
你得穿着得有一个明晰的主题才行 you have to have a theme.
这就是为什么我们全部都要扮演 Which is why we are all going
“圣诞颂歌”里面的角色 as characters from "A Christmas Carol."
-哎哟妈呀！ -迪伦 你扮演马利的鬼魂 - Oh, my God! - Dylan, you're Marley's Ghost.
简 你扮演圣诞礼物的鬼魂 Jane, you are the Ghost of Christmas Present.
哦 好的 Oh, great.
然后艾米 你扮演斯克鲁奇（守财奴） And Amy, you're Scrooge.
哦 哇 真谢谢了 老妈 Oh. Wow, thanks, mom.
我就觉得嘛 这个安排很恰到好处 I just think it's appropriate, given how much
考虑到你今年看起来这么讨厌圣诞节 you seem to hate Christmas this year.
妈妈 我并不讨厌圣诞节 Mother, I don't hate Christmas.
然后 这是大家人手一份的乐谱 And here is everyone's sheet music.
我倒是希望我们已经可以“脱谱”唱呢 I'd hoped we'd all be off-book by now.
-这里面的歌怎么这么多啊！ -这个… - This is a lot of songs. - Well...
在韦斯特伯里的每家每户都要参与投票 投出谁能赢得这个奖杯 Every home in Westbury gets to vote on who wins the Cup.
所以我们今晚得至少窜门300户 So we have to hit at least 300 houses tonight.
300户？ Three hundred?
别担心 咱们有替补队友 Don't worry. We have back-up.
大家都进来吧 Come on in, everybody.
请向“芝加哥全圣合唱团”致以热烈的欢迎！ Please welcome the Chicago All Saints Choir.
我们还请了替身啊？ You hired ringers?
艾米 为求成功 我无所不用其极 I did what I needed to do to succeed, Amy.
以后你也应该试试 You should try it sometime.
好了 行吧 我们会参加颂歌比赛 Okay, fine. We'll go caroling.
但我不会穿这套荒谬至极的服装的 But I'm not wearing this ridiculous costume.
真他妈嗨气了 Fuck me.
嘿 大伙们 又有颂歌者 Hey, guys, we got more carolers.
说台词啊 斯克鲁奇！ Read your line, Scrooge!
还不快点 - Do it. - Mm.
“吧喊伯格 我是埃比尼泽·斯克鲁奇 "Bah-humbug, I'm Ebenezer Scrooge
我讨厌圣诞节 因为太多活儿要干了 "and I hate Christmas because it's so much work
况且 我很懒 and I am lazy."
拜托了 斯克鲁奇先生！ Please, Mr. Scrooge!
难道你不想听我们来一首么？ Won't you listen to our song?
让你的心灵感受一下温暖嘛！2 3 4 And let ye heart be warmed! Two, three, four.
♫ 祝您圣诞快乐！♪ ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪
♫ 祝您新年快乐！♪ ♪ And a happy New Year ♪
♫ 我们把快乐带来给…♪ ♪ Good tidings we bring ♪
♫ 您和您的孩子们 ♫ ♪ To you and your kids ♪
♫ 没错 这是属于圣诞节的快乐 ♫ ♪ Yeah good tidings for Christmas ♪
这他妈的是什么鬼东西啊？ What the fuck is happening?
♫ 大家新年快乐哦！♪ ♪ Happy New Year everybody ♪
♫ 新年快乐哦！♪ ♪ And a happy New Year ♪♪
“大家好 我是埃比尼泽·斯克鲁奇” "Bah-humbug, I'm Ebenezer Scrooge
“我讨厌圣诞节 因为太多事儿要做了 and I hate Christmas because it's so much work..."
艾米 真的是你吗？ Amy?
哎哟 我操！ Oh, shit!
你这穿的是什么玩意儿啊？ What in the fuck are you wearing?
我老妈逼我穿的 My mom made me wear this.
我的天呀！你看上去真是正点！我是认真的… Oh, my God! You look amazing, serious...
说实话哦 这可比你平时在学校穿得要好看啊！ Honestly, this is better than what you usually wear at school.
-等等 大家快来看 -别 别啊 姐妹们 这没啥好看的 - Wait, guys, come here. - No, no, guys, it's okay.
你们就 就呆在那儿好了 不用过来啦… You could, you could just stay there, it's...
这位是艾米·米切尔 This is Amy Mitchell.
她装扮成胖老头了 She's dressed up as an old fat man.
不是的 实际上我想把自己装扮成斯克鲁奇的 但是… Uh, no, I'm actually supposed to be Scrooge, but that's...
你们别笑啊 她是我朋友 这很不礼貌哇 Don't laugh, she's my friend. That's rude.
亲爱的 我得将此情此景拍下来发微博啊 马上就发 Honey, I'm going to Instagram the shit out of this, right now.
-好的 等一下 来个侧面照 -噢 很好！ - Okay, wait. Side angle. - Oh, great!
-然后换个姿势 -不错 嗯哼 - And this one. - Okay, um.
你能这样…稍微撇起那“樱桃小嘴”么？ Can you do a li... Can you purse your lips for me a little bit?
我要去了结自己了 所以… I'm gonna go kill myself, so...
我会给你加个滤镜的 让你看上去没那么疲惫哈 I'll put a filter on it, so you don't look so tired.
-感谢来访哦 艾米！-拜 - Thank you for visiting, Amy! - Bye.
我不会让你忘记今晚的哦 I will never let you forget this.
-你懂的！ -我他妈懂了行了吧？ - You know that. - I do.
她脸上有根断了的鸡巴么？ Was that a broken dick on her face?
嗯 我觉得这回颂歌取得了极大的成功啊 Well, I thought that was an enormous success.
老妈 这 这 这样真的好么？ Mom, this, this, this isn't working.
-有啥不好了？ -这个嘛…呃… - What isn't working? - This, this.
我他妈想要过一个轻松愉快的圣诞节 I-I wanted a mellow Christmas
而你他妈的就一步一脚印地跟我对着干 and you keep fighting me every step of the way.
对你的孩子们来说 这个圣诞节非常重要 Amy, this is a very important Christmas for your kids.
你可不能这样子就半途而废啊！ You cannot just phone it in.
我可不是这样 我并不是要半途而废 I'm not, I'm not phoning it in.
我的孩子们告诉我 他们想过一个轻松愉快的圣诞节 My kids told me that they wanted a mellow Christmas.
而我就答应了他们 我会让他们过一个轻松愉快的圣诞节 And I promised them that I would give it to them.
好吧 他们肯定这么跟你说啊 艾米 Well, of course they told you that, Amy.
因为他们是在说他们认为你想听的话 Because they're telling you what they think you want to hear.
但私下的 他们完全理解我这么做是对的 But secretly, they know that I'm right.
因为你猜怎么着？我就是正确的 Because you know what? I just am.
得了吧 Okay.
哈哈！你猜怎么着 我不跟你争论了 Ha-ha! You know what? I'm done fighting this.
我现在就要认真地告诉你 I'm gonna tell you exactly
我们今年要怎么过圣诞节 how we're doing Christmas this year.
孩子们和我打算花 The kids and I are gonna spend
整个平安夜的时间来滑雪橇 the entire Christmas Eve day sledding.
然后 我们就回家 And then, we're gonna come home
烤饼干 还有看《真爱至上》这部剧 bake cookies, and watch "Love Actually."
-少脑的电影 -然后 圣诞节当天早晨 - Dumb movie. - Then, Christmas morning.
我们只邀请杰西和她女儿过来做客 Only Jessie and his daughter are gonna come over
然后我们会互送三份礼物 and we're gonna exchange three gifts.
杰西是谁啊 Who's Jessie?
然后我们会穿着睡衣裤闲晃 Then we're gonna spend all day in our pajamas
直到我的朋友们来吃晚餐为止 until my friends come over for dinner
晚餐我们打算从王氏饭馆点中国菜外卖 when we are gonna order Chinese takeout from Mr. Wang's.
-真可怕 -啊！ - The horror. - Ugh!
没有臭显摆的派对 There'll be no show-offy party
不吃寿司 也不吃骆驼肉 no sushi, no camels.
还有 想都别想 绝对不请肯尼吉 And definitely, definitely, no Kenny G.
艾米 他可是美妙爵士乐的鼻祖啊 Amy, he is the godfather of smooth jazz.
老妈 我受够了你那些华而不实的圣诞节安排了！ Mom, I am done with your over-the-top Christmases.
这是我的家 我的生活 This is my house, and this is my life.
你要是想来这里 And if you want to come down here
成为我家的一分子的话 and be a part of my family
你就要听我的 then you have to live by my rules.
-好吧 -“好”? - Okay. - Really?
那咱们按照你的意思来办吧 We will do it your way.
我们会过一个轻松愉快的圣诞节 We will have a mellow Christmas.
我希望你能过得开开心心 I hope you're happy.
我觉得这不是你的真心话 I don't think you mean that.
但还是要谢谢你 我很开心 But thank you, I am.
♫ 宝贝 愿你品尝我那心甘情愿的甜蜜 ♫ ♪ You can have my sugar sugar sugar baby ♪
♫ 宝贝 我愿意把我仅有的所有甜蜜都献于你 ♫ ♪ Wanna give you my sugar sugar sugar baby ♪
♫ 我心只为你而跳 ♫ ♪ Wanna give it to you ♪
♫ 只要你喜欢 ♫ ♪ If you want me to ♪♪
这招确实管用 And it worked.
我对她强硬起来 然后她就完全妥协了 I stood up to her, and she totally backed down.
-我为你感到自豪 -谢谢 - I'm so proud of you. - Thank you.
我真的头一次感受到 I actually felt, for the first time
我老妈平等地看待我 my mom looked at me as an equal.
或许将来某一天 自然地 我们的关系会更加亲密 Like maybe someday, somehow, we could be closer.
悠着点 别奥巴马了 Relax, Obama.
你妈妈依然是一个无人匹敌的女人 Your mom is still a colossal bitch.
防范之心不能减 否则她能把你汽车给拆了 Don't let your guard down, or she's gonna blow up your car.
-得了 得了 -我就打个比方而已 - Alright, alright. - I'm just saying.
行吧 无论如何 这可是一大进展 Well, either way, it was a big step.
所以呢 我就想敬你一杯 谢谢你给予我的鼓励 So, I just wanna say thank you for encouraging me.
-啊 我们为你感到自豪 呼！ -谢谢啊 - Aww, we're so proud. Whoo! - Thank you.
你知道我们应该怎么庆祝呢？ You know what I think we should do to celebrate?
那当然是看那几个圣诞老人… Watch a bunch of Santa Clauses
跳脱衣舞啦！ take off their clothes!
♫ 给我来盏绿灯 ♫ ♪ Give me the green light ♪
♫ 只因我蓄势待发 ♫ ♪ 'Cause I'm ready to go ♪
♫ 让我们寻找快乐 ♫ ♪ Let's have a good time ♪
♫ 你还犹豫什么？♪ ♪ What you waiting for? ♪
♫ 人一世 物一世 ♫ ♪ We only got one life ♪
♫ 我们但求无悔 ♫ ♪ And we gonna live it up ♪
看那丫的！我爱这些“圣诞老人” Oh, yay! I love Santa Claus.
而且还一下子上来这么多！ And there's so many of them.
姐妹们 我不想小题大做 Guys, I don't wanna make a big deal of it.
不过呢 啊 我好像就要跟台上的一个圣诞老人 But, um, I'm kind of on a first date
去约会了 with one of the Santas.
-得了吧你！ -我说真的！ - Shut up. - Yeah.
慢着 你说的是哪一个啊？ Wait. Which one?
二号圣诞老人 Santa number two.
♪ If you know what I mean I'mma ride that mami ♪
♪ Yeah I got the key and I'mma lock that mami... ♪♪
你们是怎认识的？ How'd you guys meet?
给他蛋蛋做脱毛服务的时候 Oh, waxing his balls.
真够浪漫的 That is so romantic.
给一个男人做脱毛服务的时候 能了解到他的各方各面 You learn a lot about a man when you wax his sack.
要知道 有些男人脱毛的时候疼哭了 有些却表现得很硬汉 You know, some guys cry. Some guys act real tough.
但…但是 他当时确实非常的安静 But... But Ty, he was so calm.
感觉就像给达赖喇嘛做脱毛服务一样 It was almost like waxing the balls of the Dalai Lama.
呜哇！ Whoo!
芝加哥的各位 你们好吗？ How you doin' tonight, Chicago?
好了 Alright.
好了 各位美女 听着 Okay, listen, ladies
我需要你们告诉我 I need you guys to tell me
这些圣诞老人中的哪一个 which one of these Sexy Santas
才是他们当中最性感的？ is the sexiest of them all?
准备好了吗？耶！ Think you're ready? Yeah!
好了 那么 我们开始施展浑身解数吧！ Okay, well, let's start this thing off.
一号圣诞老人 请开始你的表演！ Santa number one, the bar is yours, sir.
傲！这赘肉还真多耶！ Oh. That is a lot of white skin.
好 这么着吧 够了 够了 一号圣诞老人到此 Okay, you know what? Alright, alright, Santa number one.
观众们已经做出了选择 The audience has spoken.
感谢你的激情表演 Thank you. Such a good sport.
非常用心 Such a good sport.
好 现在 Alright. Now.
哥们 摇摆起来吧！ Bring it to the stage, my man
二号圣诞老人！ Santa number two!
耶 快脱！ Yeah! Take it off!
他真会跳脱衣舞啊 He's, he's really good at stripping.
-他的眼神太有爱了 -是啊 - He has such kind eyes. - Yeah.
我今晚要干到他老二缴械投降才罢休 I'm gonna fuck his dick off tonight.
二号 快给我留个种啊！ Put a baby in me, Santa number two!
哇 Whoo!
哇 我特喜欢他的内裤啊 当下超级流行款呢！ Whoo! I love his panties. They're so seasonal.
我的天呀 Oh, my God.
-我感觉我要爱上他了 -什么鬼？ - I think I'm in love. - What?
我真的觉得他就是…我的真命天子啊 I honestly think that he's... the one.
哟 那是你妈妈么？ Is that your mom?
慢着 他妈 还真是！为什么…老妈！ Wait, holy shit. It is. Why is... Mom!
喂 你到底在干什么啊？ What, what are you doing?
-噢 快看快看 -哟 - Oh, look at that. - Yeah.
我老妈跟谁跳舞都那副德性 My mom dances this way with everybody.
所以呢 这没啥 我不纠结这个 So, this doesn't bother me at all.
噢 天啊 他的脸都埋到她胸里了 Oh, my God. His face is in her tits.
打住啊 老妈 老妈！别用胸埋了他脸啊！ Wait. Mom. Mom, no motorboating!
-我们之前不是说好了么？ -行了 - We talked about this. - Alright.
-场面准备尴尬了 -有好戏看了！ - It's about to get weird. - It's game time.
-噢 你真漂亮哦！ -这是我妈妈 - Oh, you look great! - That's my mom.
-她是你妈妈？ -是我老妈 - That's your mom? - Yeah, that's my mom.
-是你妈妈？ -是啊 - Your mom? - Yeah.
噢 天啊 真是荣幸 你有一个这么漂亮的女儿啊 Oh, my God, it's a pleasure. You have such a lovely daughter.
这还用说 I know.
你真的没必要看着 You should never have to watch
你老妈一下下舔你男友的乳头的 your mom lick your boyfriend's nipples.
-天啊 -妈妈！ - No. - Mom!
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
-哇 -噢 我的老天爷 - Whoa. - Oh, my God.
妈妈！ Mom!
竟然没有一个人接住我 真令人吃惊 Not one person caught me. That was amazing.
每次他们跳进人群里 通常都有人… Every time they jump into the crowd, someone usually...
-你好啊 -噢 你好 - Hi. - Oh.
-嗨 那个… -你来了 - Hi. Hey. - Here you are.
我 呃…给你拿了个冰袋 I, uh... Bag of ice for you.
-噢 -真感谢你哦 - Oh. - Thank you, Ty.
嗯… Um...
那么 今晚的事情呢 你懂的 So, about tonight, um, you know
我们本来打算表演结束后出去逛逛的 we were gonna hang out after the show.
呃 其实 我是蛮期待的 And, uh, I mean, I was looking forward to it.
我心里就打算着 呃… I was wondering if, uh...
你还有兴趣和我约一下么？ If you're still up for it, you know?
-噢 泰 -嗯？ - Oh, Ty. - Yeah.
呃… Um...
-我想去啊 -那就好了 - I would love to. - Good.
但是 呃… But, um...
你看 我想这应该是 You know, I think this is
我老妈这个月的第三次脑震荡了 我可能 只能… my mom's third concussion this month and I'm just...
哇呜 这震荡还挺频繁的嘛！ Wow, that's a lot of concussions.
我还是呆在她身边照看她吧 Better stay with her for observation.
理解 Yeah.
那么 呃… Well, um...
明天我就要回克里夫兰了 I gotta get back to Cleveland tomorrow.
-好的 -但是 呃… - Right. - But, uh...
我想 我下次来这里的时候能打个电话告诉你吗？ Think I could give you a call next time I come into town?
这样…这样可以吗？ Would that... that interest you at all?
我可以打给你吗？ Could I do that?
-求之不得 -真的？ - Please. - Yeah?
-当然 -那太好了 - Yes. - Great.
到时候 我愿意给你免费脱毛啊！ I'd, I'd wax your balls for free.
真贴心啊！ That is so sweet.
好啊 我很享受这样的服务 Well, I would really love that, Carla.
我蛋蛋也会同样很享受 And so would my balls.
好 那就说定了 Well. Consider it done.
然后 呃… And, uh...
哦 Oh.
抱歉 我以为你想要（法式舌吻形态啃咬） Sorry, I thought you wanted to...
圣诞快乐哦 卡拉 Merry Christmas, Carla.
圣诞快乐 泰 Merry Christmas, Ty.
♫ 铃声即将响起 ♫ ♪ Bells will be ringing ♪
♫ 瑞雪伴随的会是那丰收般的幸福之信吗？♪ ♪ The glad glad news ♪
♫ 哦 这到底还是他妈的一个圣诞节啊 ♫ ♪ Oh what a Christmas ♪
♫ 你的心情也像四处弥漫的阴霆么？♪ ♪ You have the blues ♪
♫ 你瞧 我的心肝宝贝离开了 ♫ ♪ My baby's gone ♪
♫ 你瞧 放眼望去 我并无故人 ♫ ♪ I have no friends ♪
♫ 想用问候的话语祝福我么？♪ ♪ To wish me greetings ♪
♪ Mm ♪
♫ 一次又一次 ♫ ♪ Once again ♪♪
好了 是时候睡觉啦 我的宝贝儿们 Okay, time for bed, my darlings.
今晚呢 我要给你们唱 Tonight, I am going to sing you
“我心永恒” "My Heart Will Go On"
来自七次格莱美音乐奖获得者席琳·狄翁 by seven-time Grammy winner, Celine Dion.
嗯哼？ Mm-hm?
怎么啦 宝贝们？ What's the matter?
你跟我们老妈还好吗？ Is everything okay with you and mom?
就是哦 你们俩经常吵架啊 Yeah, you guys have been fighting a lot.
来来来 坐我旁边 你们俩 都坐过来嘛 Come here and sit by me. Both of you, come here.
现在呢 你们老妈跟我只是有一些小小的争论而已 Now, your mother and I just have a few tiny disagreements
这些争论是关于圣诞节的重要性的 about the importance of Christmas
以及圣诞节对于一位母亲的意义 and what it means to be a mother
还有就是对婚姻神圣义务的争论和怎样养育小孩才是最好的争论 and the sanctity of marriage and how best to raise children.
除这些以外一切都是正常的哦 But otherwise, everything is fine.
没啥好担心的 对不对？ There's no reason to worry, okay?
听着 我知道这是你们父母离婚以后 Look, I know this is your first Christmas
过的第一个圣诞节 since your parents got divorced.
这种感觉对于你们来说应该有点奇怪 我说的对吗？ And it's probably a little strange for you. Am I right?
-对啊 -对啊 真的是这样 - Yeah. - Yeah. It really is.
那么 首先呢 Well, first of all
可以确定的是 你们的父母 都依然那么爱你们的 both of your parents still love you so very much.
无论发生任何事 都是如此 And no matter what happens
我也会时时刻刻守护着你们 I will always be there for you.
时时刻刻 Always.
因为你们都是我的孙儿女 我很爱你们 Because you're my grandkids, and I love you
爱你们之于世上只有 并无他人他物可比 more than anything in the whole world.
汉克爷爷也跟我一样 是那么的爱你们 And so does Grandpa Hank.
我知道他的脑子蠢得应该只有一颗核桃那么的大小 I know his brain is the size of a walnut
但要知道 他的心胸是广阔得足以容纳你们 保护你们的 but you know, his heart is enormous.
好了 心里好过些了吗？ 好些啦 - Okay? Feel better? - Yeah.
奶奶 有你在 真好 It's really nice having you here, grandma.
是啊 我们真的会很想你的 没错啊 - Yeah. We really miss you. - Yeah.
噢 我也会很想你们的 Oh, I miss you, too.
孙儿孙女 真的是我人生中最美好的礼物 Grandkids, they really are the greatest gift.
说到礼物 送你们一人一部iPhone哈！ Speaking of gifts, have some iPhones.
-爽歪歪 -我在做梦吧 - Nice. - No way.
现在 准备好就上床睡觉了哦 Now, get ready for bed.
然后我回头过来给你们唱歌 唱歌几小时不在话下 And I will come back and sing to you for hours.
平安夜
我真不敢相信有人会上这个当的 太愚蠢了吧 I can't believe people fall for this shit. It's so stupid.
-是啊 我懂的 -噢 等等 某人来了 - Yeah, I know. - Oh wait, here comes somebody.
圣诞快乐！ 噢 圣诞快乐哦！ - Merry Christmas! - Oh, Merry Christmas.
等 等 等一下 Ho, ho, hold on.
嘿嘿 你想不想… 就是 呃 把你的 Hey, would you like to, uh, donate
罐头什么的捐出来 给我们这个圣诞罐头之车呢？ your canned goods to our Christmas Canned Food Drive?
噢 不过 我似乎是都用自己的钱买回来的啊 Oh, um, I sort of just bought all this.
宾果 她有罐头影像哟 喔 - Bingo. She's got cans. - Oh!
噢 老妈 看啊看啊看 她连酒都买好了 Oh, mom, look, look, look. She's got wine.
非常感谢你对“圣诞罐头义工行”的 Thank you very much for a very generous donation
慷慨捐赠哦 to the "Canned Christmas Food Drive."
孩子们一定会很开心的 The children are gonna be so happy.
赞！ Yes!
-这一波够爽的 老妈 -没错 她搞到一些硬货哦 - That was a good haul, mom. - Yeah, she had some good shit.
我跟你说啊…和你一起 在超市门口抢劫 You know... ripping off rich people
有钱人们的东西 真的是… in front of the supermarket with you is...
让我想起以前圣诞节的很多美好的回忆 bringing back a lotta happy Christmas memories for me.
是啊 我也是这样呢 宝贝儿 Yeah. Me too, babe.
我想念你啊 知道吗？ I miss you, you know?
我也想念你 I miss you, too.
这感觉太诡异了 It's so weird.
是啊 或许我们应该 …多花点时间呆一起？ Yeah. Maybe we should... spend more time together?
你是真心说这些么？ Do you mean that?
当然啊 Yeah.
跟你说啊 我们在舞厅的时候 You know, when we were at the bouncy place
跟那个谁…他叫啥名字？ with, um... what's his name?
-哦 我儿子 贾克森？ -是啊 是他 - Oh, my son, Jaxon? - Yeah, him.
嗯 我就是看着你们俩拿着棍子 Um, I was watching you two and you were beating the shit
就互相一顿狠打 我觉得啊 out of each other with those sticks, and I thought
我觉得 可能我应该跟我孙子谈一场恋爱才行 这样才能呆在你们身边久一点 "You know, maybe I should have a relationship with my grandson."
嗯 我们啊 嗯 我们很想有更多机会和你见面 Well, we'd, um, we'd love to see you more.
嗯 好啊 Yeah. Okay.
要知道 呃 You know, uh...
我最近一直在想 I've been doing a lot of thinking
关于你问我拿钱的事情 妈 嗯… about the money you asked me for, mom, and...
呃 我真够白痴的啊 Um, I'm such an idiot.
这可是圣诞节啊 你是我老妈 我真的应该… But it's Christmas and you're my mom and...
哎 去他的 给你 这算是贷款吧 算是了 Eh, fuck it. Here. It's a loan. It's a loan.
我觉得 这跟你问要的数目有点差距 但是呃… I mean, this is not everything you asked for, but...
-噢 别这么想啊 我觉得很满足了！ -确切的说 我身上就这么多了 - Oh, no, that's great! - Basically all I have.
非常感谢你啊 这权当是一次贷款 Thank you so much. This is a loan.
我发誓啊 我一定会还给你的 I will pay you back, I swear.
因为现在我要准备的东西都齐了 I really have my shit together now.
谢谢 哇！ Thanks. Whoa!
嘿！先生 圣诞节快乐！ Hey! Sir, Merry Christmas!
-圣诞快乐！ -圣诞快乐！ - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas!
你想不想捐出你的罐头食品给我们的爱心罐头义捐活动呃？ Would you like to donate your cans to our Canned Food Drive?
我们正在为那些无家可归的人募捐一些食物啊 We're collecting for a drive for the homeless.
-这下好了 这些是我刚花钱买的啊 -嗯 发现有罐头食品咯 - Yikes. I just bought all this. - And the canned goods.
-你懂的 这意义重大呢 -滚你蛋的 哪门子意义重大了？ - You know, this is important. - The fuck is this?
哦？这是八角哦 Uh, that's fennel.
噢 扔了吧这鸟东西 好开心哈 - Oh, fuck it. - So happy.
非常感谢您的支持哦 Thank you so much.
噢 糟糕了 商场经理 他正在过来 撤退 Oh, shit. Manager. Manager's coming. Code red, code red.
走走走 老妈！我们的车停哪儿了？ Go, go, go. Mom! Where did we park?
-我们的车停哪儿了？ -光明节快乐哦 - Where did we park? - Happy Hanukkah.
-我们车到底停哪儿了？ -别问那么多 快撤 - Where did we park? - Go, go, go, go.
他们刚刚光天化日之下偷走了我买的全部东西 我操 They just totally stole all my shit.
还是把这个也带走吧！这挺可爱的 对不对？ Taking this, though. This is cute, right?
耶 耶 Yeah, yeah.
好啦 大家伙们 Okay, guys.
平安夜啦 大家都得各自打开一份礼物 So since it's Christmas Eve, everybody gets to open
对不？ one present, okay?
噢！先打开我送你的礼物嘛 Oh! Kiki. Hey, Kiki, Kiki. Open mine.
请先打开我的那份嘛 拜托啦！ Please open mine first. Please.
我想我先拆一个试试看 好的 - I'll go first. I guess. - Okay.
这是啥来着？ What's this?
钥匙啊 It is a key
我新房子的钥匙哈！ to my new house!
你啥意思捏？ What are you talking about?
好吧 经历了我们这个“疗程”之后呢 Well, after our therapy session
我感觉啊 我们之间的距离真的越来越远了 I felt like we were drifting apart.
所以我决定 搬房子 要离你们近一点的 So I decided to move closer to you guys.
噢 好 呃 你搬到哪里去了啦？ Oh. Okay. Uh, where are you moving to?
就在隔壁啊！ Right next door!
老天爷 什么鬼？ - Jesus. - What?
你要搬到隔壁 呱 我的隔壁吗？ You're moving, um, next door to me?
没错 这房子甚至还没有公开售卖呢 Yeah, the house wasn't on the market.
于是我在房地产估价网站搜了一下 然后我全额现金付款了！ So I checked it out on Zillow and I made an all-cash offer.
然后就…唠！邻居你好 And then, boom. Howdy, neighbor.
-你好啊 邻居 -我的天呀 - Howdy, neighbor. - Oh, my God.
我们甚至可以在两家之间挖个地道呢 两两互通不要太爽！ We can dig a tunnel between the houses. Keeks!
噢 两两互通啊… Oh, Keeks.
肯特把孩子们带出去一下 Kent, get the kids out of here.
嗯哼 好好好 我们走吧 孩子们一起到外面溜达一下 Mm-hm. Yep, yep. Let's go, guys. Let's get outta here.
妈妈和外婆需要聊一下呢 来吧 孩子们 出发吧 Mommy and grandma gotta talk. Come on, buddy.
这下可要难堪了 This is gonna get ugly.
-老妈 妈妈！ -啥？啥啊？ - Mom. Mom. - What? What?
你总不能就住在我隔壁吧 You can't live next door to me.
-为 为什么不能啊？ -因为我需要个人空间啊！ - Why, why not? - Because I need space.
然后 这就是 这就是 太近了啊！ And t-that, that is too close.
我有糖尿病啊 -老妈 先别开始说这个！ - I have diabetes. - Mom, stop.
先坐下 先坐下 琪琪 - Sit down. Sit down. - Kiki. Kiki.
-坐啊 -琪琪啊 - Sit. - Kiki.
-我得了脓毒性咽喉炎 -老妈 够了！ - I've got strep throat. - Mom.
-我可能有胆结石····· -能别说了吗？ - I might have gallstones... - No.
-这真的是…我这是… -够了够了！ - And really, Kiki, this is... - Enough.
我们得好好谈一下 We need to have this conversation.
首先 我是一个成年女人了 需要过自己的生活 I am a grown woman who needs a life
是什么生活呢？是与你的生活相互独立的生活 我需要你 that is separate from yours, and I need you
过上与我的生活相互分隔互不干扰的生活 to have a life that's separate from mine.
真对不起 I'm sorry.
我不想过没有你在身边的生活啊！ Kiki, I don't want a life separate from yours.
你是我这个世界上最喜爱的人了 You're my favorite person in the whole world.
我知道啊 但是 老妈 你这样已经开始 I know, but, mom, this is starting
影响到我的婚姻了知道吗？ to affect my marriage.
-不是吧？ -还有影响到我的家庭了 - What? - And my family.
-哦 -还有影响到我的精神状况 - Oh. - And my sanity.
我真的就想 就需要你… And I just, I need you to...
就 就让我离你远一点 好让我有足够的个人空间 To, to just let me go a little bit.
那么 我自己一个人 怎么办？ Well, what am I supposed to do with myself?
我不知道啊妈妈！随便做些什么都可以啊！交些朋友啊！ I don't know, mom! Anything! Make some friends!
你不是老说自己想要去拉斯维加斯旅行吗？ You're always saying you wanna go to Vegas
你说要在维恩·牛顿去世之前看看他 to see Wayne Newton before he dies.
想做就去做啊！或者做些其他什么的都好啊！ Do that! Anything!
只要你不要拖我下水就可以了！ As long as it's without me!
不能…和你一起？ Without you?
琪琪为什么你要这样对我？ Why are you doing this to me, Kiki?
我并不是要…妈妈！ I didn't... Mom.
你猜怎么着 我还真觉得这房子我想退回去都退不了！ And I really don't think I can return that house!
-呼！ -嘿 - Whoo! - Hey.
滑雪橇好不好玩啊？ 噢 好玩啊 - How fun was that sledding? - Oh, that was fun.
在我裤兜里还残留着一大堆雪 There is still an alarming amount of snow
我得说 in my pants, I gotta say.
噢 我迫不及待想快点回家了 Oh, I can't wait to go home
然后穿上宽松的衣服 舒舒服服的晃着 throw on some jammies, get comfy.
我知道 是该这样子的 噢 快看 有人在开派对哦 I know. It's gonna be... Oh, look, someone's having a party.
咦 是的哦 Yeah, they are.
-哇 人真他妈多啊 -没错啊 - Wow, that's a lot of people. - A lot of people.
等等 Wait.
原来是你在开这个派对哦？ You're having a party.
嗯 那是只骆驼么？ Um, is that a camel?
没错啊 Yup, that's a camel.
我要灭了她 I'm gonna kill her.
什么玩意儿啊？ What the fuck?
她都在我家里搞了什么东西啊？ What did she do to my house?
我不要（寿司）! No!
对不起 Gomenasai.
肯尼吉竟然在我小书房里！ Kenny G's in my den.
妈妈！ Mom.
你骗我 You lied to me.
我为这个家尽了心 也尽了力呢 你为啥这么说 I did what was best for the family.
妈！知道这个圣诞有什么不好吗？不好的东西都在这里！在这个屋子 Mom, everything that is wrong with Christmas is in this room
我要让这所有的糟心人和糟心事全部消失！ and I want it all gone.
艾米 别耍孩子气 Amy, don't be ridiculous.
你万万不可把肯尼吉赶出去啊 You can't kick Kenny G out of the house.
他可是国宝级人物啊 He's a national treasure.
你不赶他走是吧 那我来赶他走 If you won't do it, then I will.
你不敢这样做的 You wouldn't dare.
噢 那你别眨眼 注意看了 Oh. Watch me.
哟！我要你现在离开我的房子 Yo! I need you to leave my house.
你在开什么玩笑啊？ What are you talking about?
滚出去 叫你滚出去啊肯尼吉 Get the fuck out, Kenny G.
-那我还是有酬金的吧 是不是啊？ -鬼知道你啊！ - I'm still getting paid, right? - I don't know!
带走你的小笛子 继续吹 边吹边溜吧 Take your little flute and shoo! Shoo, fly.
-出去 去搞下一个专辑去 -这才不是什么笛子 臭妹子 - Go make another album. - It's not a flute, bitch.
懒得理你 非常感谢大家 谢谢你们 你们现在可以走了 Don't care. Thank you so much. Thank you. You can go now.
请走 你们可以走了 非常感谢你们的到来 Please. You can leave. Thank you so much for coming.
非常感谢大家 你也是 速速离开吧 朋友 Thank you very much. You too, my friend.
拜托了 别在这里呆着了 请离开吧 Please. No, no. Please exit.
我不认识你们任何一个人 请尽快离开我的房子吧 I don't know any of you. Please leave my house.
再见 拜拜 寿司师傅 你得走了 Farewell, see you later. Sushi chef, you gotta go.
我不需要你在这里了 你可以把那碟子也带走的 无所谓啦 We're done. You can take that plate.
艾米 停下来啊！你让这个家蒙羞了！ Amy, stop! You're embarrassing the family.
噢 天啊 这才是真正的原因 对不？ Oh, my God. That's what this is about, isn't it?
这才他妈是真正的原因啊 我咋就不懂呢？ This finally makes sense.
完美的装饰啊 完美的圣诞树啊 The, the perfect decorations, the perfect tree
这货从哪门子进来的 明明他妈就是我院子前的大树 whatever the hell that thing is in my front yard.
你并不是为了孩子们而办这个派对的！你是为了你自己而已！ You didn't do this for the kids! You did this for you!
你从来关心的就只是人来人往 然后人们都对你说 All you care about is for people to go
噢 露丝 你真的太厉害了 "Oh, Ruth. You're so amazing."
我都不知道你在说什么 I have no idea what you're talking about.
离开之前别忘了你们的LV包 Please don't leave without taking
可别落在我家里了！ your Louis Vuitton swag bag.
噢 天啊 天啊 拜托了！ Oh, God. Oh, God. Please.
这所有的…快滚快滚！快滚！ Th-this has got to all go. A-all of this has got to go.
那些狂炫酷靓包 那些奇形怪状的幕帘 Th-the swag bags, th-the weird curtains
那地板 那圣诞树 the floor, the tree.
干他妹的 这树一定要清掉！ Oh, God, the tree has got to go.
别啊 别弄走我的树 这可是从巴黎运过来的！ No, not my tree! It's from Paris!
-那你看仔细了 -不要啊！ - Watch me. - No!
别啊！ No!
妈妈 跟你这破树说声再见吧！ Say goodbye to your tree, mother!
-这可是老古董啊！ -这树可真丑爆了 老妈！ - That's an antique! - It's a hideous tree, mother!
-我还真不知道！ -这他妈还是假的雪花！ - You have no idea! - It's not even real snow!
你真是大胆了 你知道不知道这货到底花了多少钱？ How dare you! You know how much that thing costs?
我管你呢！扔掉！ I don't care! Let go!
扔掉扔掉！ Let go! Let go!
那些摆设原本可是摆在铁达尼号上的！ Those were from the "Titanic!"
我管你！ I don't care!
那冰雕是从月球上采下来的！ That ice was from the moon!
这可是月球冰啊 狗日的婆妈妈！ It was moon ice, you nasty bitch!
放开手 别抓住这蠢透顶的树！ Let go of the stupid tree!
放手！ Let go!
给我听好 妈妈！ Listen, mom!
我给我孩子们许诺 I promised my kids
承诺说不会让圣诞节搞成这乌烟瘴气的 I wouldn't do Christmas like this!
大家都喜欢圣诞节这么热闹啊！ Everybody loves a Christmas like this!
这才他妈的开心壮观啊！ It's fucking spectacular!
不 他们才不是这样！ No, they don't!
我了个去 Holy shit.
我要你现在就离开这里 艾米！ - I need you to get out. - Amy.
我一直以来都在忍受你的这些鬼玩意 I've been putting up with your shit
长这么大一直都在忍！ my entire life.
我实在是忍无可忍了！ I can't do it anymore.
我实在…不能 I just... I can't.
我要你现在就离开这座房子 I need you out of my house
为了大家都好 以后也别出现在我的生活中了 and I need you out of my life for good.
-你肯定在说气话 -我可是真的、真的非常认真对你说这话的 - You don't mean that. - I really, really do.
-艾米 这可是圣诞节啊 -妈妈 你快走吧！ - Amy, it's Christmas. - Mother, get out!
你刚是不是赶走了外婆 她以后都不能回来了？ Did you just kick out grandma forever?
你们 在这里站了多久啊？ Guys, how long have you been standing here?
你怎么能这样对我？ How could you do this to us?
宝贝们 请相信我这么做对大家都是最好的 好吗？ Guys, would you please just trust me that it's for the best?
不 完全不好！这只是对你来说是最好而已 No, it's not! It's the best for you.
我们真的爱外婆 We actually love grandma.
没错 她是我们家庭的一份子 我们都爱她 Yeah, she's a part of our family, and we love her.
哟 你不能随便撵人 Yo-you don't just kick someone out.
首先 你撵走了爸爸 现在 你又撵走外婆 First, you kick dad out. Now, you kick grandma out.
谁是下一个 你也要撵走我们吗 Who's next? Are you gonna kick us out?
什么 不 亲爱的 当然不会 我绝不会那么做 What, honey, no, of course not. I would never do that.
你为什么总是将每件事都搞砸 Why do you always have to screw everything up?
亲爱的 Honey...
干得好 Nice goin'.
孩子们 Guys.
孩子们 Guys...
那就是如何发生的 So that's how it happened.
那就是我如何毁了圣诞节 That's how I ruined Christmas.
我是如此完全沉浸于和我老妈抗争 I got so wrapped up in fighting with my mom
而忽略了 that I lost sight of the only thing
最重要的事情 that actually matters.
我忽略了我的孩子们 I lost sight of my kids.
而且更糟糕的是 And what's worse is...
我不仅毁了圣诞节 I didn't just ruin Christmas.
还毁了我的家庭 I ruined my family.
♫ 忘记布伦南神父所说 ♫ ♪ Forget what Father Brennan said ♪
♫ 我们不是生来即罪恶 ♫ ♪ We were not born in sin ♪
♫ 在你的床上留一张纸条 ♫ ♪ Leave a note on your bed ♪
妈妈 Mom?
这是平安夜 It's Christmas Eve.
你想要去哪里吃饭 Where do you wanna get takeout?
妈妈 妈妈 Mom? Mom?
♫ 亲爱的 打包一个牙刷 ♫ ♪ Pack yourself a toothbrush dear ♪
♫ 打包一件最喜欢的衣服 ♫ ♪ Pack yourself a favorite blouse ♪
♫ 带上提款卡 ♫ ♪ Take a withdrawal slip ♪
♫ 取出所有的积蓄 ♫ ♪ Take all of your savings out ♪
♫ 因为如果我们不离开这个小镇 ♫ ♪ 'Cause if we don't leave this town ♪
♫ 我们永远都不能想出解决办法 ♫ ♪ We might never make it out ♪
♫ 忘记布伦南神父所说 ♫ ♪ Forget what Father Brennan said ♪
♫ 我们不是生来即罪恶 ♫ ♪ We were not born in sin ♪
♫ 在床上留一张字条 ♫ ♪ Leave a note on your bed ♪
♫ 让你妈妈知道你很安全 ♫ ♪ Let your mother know you're safe ♪
♫ 等他醒来 ♫ ♪ And by the time she wakes ♪
♫ 我们已经驶出这个州 ♫ ♪ We'll have driven through the state ♪
♫ 我们彻夜前行 ♫ ♪ We'll have driven through the night ♪
♫ 宝贝 来吧 ♫ ♪ Baby come on ♪♪
嘿 Hey.
噢 嗨 Oh, hello.
再次感谢你邀请我来你的教堂 Thank you again for inviting me to your church.
我真没有邀请你 I really didn't.
♫ 睡觉如在天堂般安稳 ♫ ♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪♪
最近怎么样啊 妹子们 What's up, bitches?
哦 我的天 是伊希斯 Oh, my gosh, it's Isis.
伊希斯来了 Isis is here.
-嗨 伊希斯 -嘿 - Hi, Isis. - Hey.
哦 我必须得说 Well, I must say, I didn't expect you
我不认为你是会来教堂的那种人 to be the church-going type.
呃 我正在处理一些烦心事 Well, I'm, I'm workin' out some shit.
况且 酒吧全都关门了 Plus, all the bars are closed.
噢 是你们啊 Oh, you guys.
我今晚也得来教堂坐坐了 I could really use some churchin' tonight.
你知道我的意思 You know what I mean?
-不知道 -不知道 - No. - Nope?
呃 今天我女儿告诉我她需要更多的空间 Well, today my daughter told me she needed "More space."
我甚至不知道那是什么意思 I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.
好吧 呃 我女儿刚把我 Yeah, well, my daughter just kicked me
永远赶出了她的生活 out of her life forever.
为什么 Why?
因为我敦促她做到最好 Because I push her to be the best
她再也不能承受了 and she can't handle it.
我妈妈敦促我的时候比这还要严厉一倍 Of course, my mother pushed me twice as hard
而我也变得很优秀 and I turned out amazing.
但我想不是每个人都能像我这般坚强 But I guess not everyone is as incredibly strong as I am.
哦 我女儿可没有把我赶出家门 Well, my daughter didn't kick me out of the house or anything.
但你不会相信 当我告诉她我买了她家隔壁房子的时候 But you would not believe how mad she got
她有多么生气 when I told her I bought the house next to hers.
什么 你买了你女儿家隔壁的房子 What? You bought the house next to your daughter?
-是的 -你买之前问过她了吗 - Yeah, I did. - Did you ask her first?
没有 我想给她一个惊喜 No, I wanted it to be a surprise.
好吧 是有点过头了 Yeah, that might be a bit much.
伙计 那简直是疯了 Dude, that is fucking psycho.
啊 至少我爱我的女儿 Well, at least I love my daughter.
你只有在需要钱的时候才去看卡拉 You only visit Carla when you need money.
呃 不 那不是真的 Uh, no, that is not true.
我也会在其他时候去看她 I visit her on other occasions
比如躲避某个人的时候 like when I'm hiding from someone.
噢 承认吧 伊希斯 Oh, just admit it, Isis.
你就是个只上过三年级 You're a degenerate gambler
发型俗套 with a third-grade education
还嗜赌如命的赌徒 and a cheap weave.
那是我自己的头发 好吗 This is my own hair, okay?
而且你是个糟糕至极的妈妈 And you're a terrible mother.
-女士们 今天是耶稣的生日 -不 我是认真的 - Ladies, it is Jesus' birthday. - No, I'm serious.
你认为你自己很完美 You think that you are so perfect.
但是你是我们当中最糟糕的妈妈 But you are the worst mom of all of us.
-哦 我不明白 -好了 好了 - Well, I don't know... - Okay, okay.
不管怎么说 至少是第二糟糕的 Second worst, whatever. But the point is
重点是你是坏妈妈中的一个 that you're one of those moms that you, you dress so perfectly
你穿搭很完美 你举行梦幻的聚会 你知道如何烹调食物 and you give fancy parties, and you know how to cook food.
而且 你的牙齿完好 And, and you have all your own teeth.
但是 你知道吗 你糟透了 But you know what? You suck.
你在真正重要的事情上糟糕至极 You suck at all the shit that really matters.
就连我这样醉生梦死的人 都能看出这一点 And I even can see it, and I'm stoned all the time.
拜托 你对我并不了解 Please, you don't know the first thing about me.
哦 如果你真是那么完美的妈妈 Well, if you're such an awesome mom
那为什么你的女儿要永远 why did your daughter kick you out
把你赶出家门呢？ of her life forever?
而且是当面说 In your face.
而且你知道 我过去对我女儿做了很过分的事情 And you know what, I have done horrible stuff
真正过分的事情 to my daughter, really horrible shit.
但是她从来没有撵我走 从来没有 And she has never kicked me out. Never.
所以你最好接受这一点并且牢牢记住 So you just take that and you roll it up real tight
收起你的那些冠冕堂皇 and you shove it up your ass.
好吧 Okay.
我们今晚上都分享了一些情感故事啊 We've all shared some very powerful feelings tonight.
噢 闭嘴吧 珊迪 Oh, shut the fuck up, Sandy.
好吧 You bet.
-嘿 -嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
呃 我听说发生了什么 Well, I heard what happened.
嗯 Hmm.
你还好吗 You doin' okay?
我不知道 I don't know.
可以问你一些事吗 Can I ask you something?
当然 Sure.
你怎么看待这件事 How do you take it?
看待什么事？ Take what?
和妈妈一起生活 Living with mom.
我的意思是 她是如此专横 I mean, s-s-she's so bossy
充满控制欲… and controlling and...
哦 我的天啊 她是那么自负 Oh, my God, she's so vain.
我的意思是 她用所有的时间 I mean, she spends all her time
打造她自己的完美模样 you know, creating this, this perfect image of herself
只有这样她才能在别人面前趾高气扬 just so she can lord it over people.
亲爱的 你妈妈不是自负 Sweetie, your mom isn't vain.
哦 拜托 她每月 Oh, come on, she, she wears
至少穿一次公主装 a princess outfit at least once a month.
你可能不会相信 You're probably never gonna believe this.
你妈妈是我见过的最没有安全感的人 But your mom is the most insecure woman I've ever met.
我妈妈？ My mother?
-露丝？ -是的 - Ruth? - Yes.
-雷德蒙 哈 -是的 - Redmond? Huh. - Yes.
除了我之外她不会在任何人面前表现出来 She never shows anyone except for me.
但是在她坚强的外表下仍是一个会担惊受怕的小女孩 But beneath that tough exterior is a scared little girl
她的妈妈从来不曾真正爱过她 whose mom never really loved her.
哦 得了吧 爸爸 Oh, come on, dad.
你知道她的妈妈 You know her mother.
你妈妈做的任何事 Nothing your mom does
对你外婆来说都不够好 is ever good enough for that woman.
她让你妈妈一生中的每一天 She makes your mom feel worthless
都感觉自己微不足道 every single day of her life.
那就是为什么将每件事都做得完美 So that's why it's so important to your mom
对你妈妈至关重要 to make everything perfect.
并不是因为她自负 It's not because she's vain.
而是 你明白的 是因为 It's, it's, it's... You know, it's because
当有人告诉她她的圣诞树是整个街区里最好的的时候 when someone tells her she's got the most amazing
那让她有一瞬间觉得 Christmas tree on the block, it makes her feel just for a second
自己不是那么毫无价值 like she's not worthless.
就仿佛她真的擅长某些事 Like she's, she's actually good at something.
仿佛她是被爱着的 Like she's, like she's loved.
那为什么她又要这么对我呢 Why does she take it out on me then?
因为你知道是什么最让她缺乏安全感吗？ Because you know what she's most insecure about?
啊… Mm...
做一个妈妈 Bein' a mom.
我不知道她跟我说了多少次 I-I can't tell you the number of times she said to me...
在抚养艾米方面我做得够好吗 "Did I do a good job raising Amy?
我是一个好妈妈吗 我又搞糟了所有的事吗 Am I good mother? Did I screw everything up?"
她真的那样问了吗 She really asked that?
亲爱的 她爱你 Sweetheart, she loves you
胜过一切 more than anything in the world.
她只是用了最糟糕的 She's just got a...
方法去表现这一点 a deeply fucked up way of showing it.
那倒是 Yeah.
你看 我和你妈妈已经结婚36年了 Look, I've been married to your mother for 36 years.
嗯 Hm.
她总是不讨人喜欢 And she is a pain in the ass even on a good day.
但是你知道吗 But you know what?
比起我们结婚的时候我现在更加爱她 I love her more now than I did the day we got married.
因为我了解真正的她 Because I know the real her.
而且如果你能够在心底里原谅她 And if you can find it in your heart to forgive her
像我一样去了解她 and get to know her like I know her...
你可能会发现 you might just find that there is a funny
她骨子里是一个有趣的 可爱的 漂亮的人 sweet, beautiful person hiding inside there.
你刚说了“可爱” Did you say "Sweet?"
好吧 她是一个有趣的 漂亮的人 Okay, a funny, beautiful person hiding in there.
好吧 Yeah.
你知道她在哪吗 You know where she is?
今天是平安夜 It's Christmas Eve.
♫ 四周山岭发回声 ♫ ♪ And the mountains in reply ♪
♫ 响应天使欢乐音 ♫ ♪ Echoing their joyous strains ♪
♫ 荣耀 ♫ ♪ Glo-o-o-ria ♪
抱歉 借过 Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
♫ 归于神 ♫ ♪ In excelsis Deo ♪
♫ 荣耀 ♫ ♪ Gl-o-o-oria ♪♪
嘿 妈妈 Hey, mom.
嗨 Hi.
-嗨 -嗨 我是珊迪 - Hi. - Hi, I'm Sandy.
-我是琪琪的妈妈 -嗯 我知道 - I'm Kiki's mom. - Yes, I know.
-很高兴再次见到你 -你过得怎么样 - Nice to see you again. - How you doin'?
嘿 哇 看看吧 Hey, wow, look at that.
你们都在这里 好吧 All of you are here. Okay.
艾米 你在这里做什么 And what are you doing here, Amy?
我 呃 I, um...
我其实是来为 I actually came to apologize
我把你赶出家门道歉的 for kicking you out of the house.
你是我的妈妈 那有点残酷 You're my mom, and that was a little harsh.
说的不假 It certainly was.
是的 Yeah.
好吧 Okay.
嘿 疯女人 Hey, psycho bitch
你女儿刚刚给你道歉了 your daughter just apologized to you.
你现在应该对她说 对不起 You're now supposed to say "I'm sorry" to her.
那就是人类之间的交流方式 That's the way human beings talk to each other.
是的 Yeah.
我基本上也很抱歉 I'm also basically sorry.
好 很好 这就好 Okay, good. That was good.
现在 告诉她你哪里抱歉了 Now, tell her what you're sorry for.
你可以的 You got this.
很可能是我不应该 It is possible that I should not
直接在你家举行秘密的圣诞聚会 have thrown a secret Christmas party at your house.
很显然 你也在这个圣诞节 Obviously, you made an incredible number
做了很多不好的决定 of bad decisions this Christmas as well.
但是 因为一小部分责任还是在我 But... for the tiny fraction of blame that falls on me
所以我 我 真诚地道歉 I am... I am generally... apologetic.
好吧 Okay.
谢谢你 Thank you.
妈妈 我知道开这个口 Mom, I know that that was
对你来说真的很难 really, really hard for you to say.
事实上真的是很难 I-it actually really was.
呃 你知道吗 And, um... you know what?
我只是 我想让你知道 我最终明白 I just, I want you to know that I finally
为什么你会这样了 understand why you're like this.
而且我想让你知道 我爱你 And I need you to know... that I love you.
那是什么意思 What's that supposed to mean?
我认为你不是一无是处 I don't think that you're worthless.
我认为你是真的很棒 I think you're fucking amazing.
你为什么要说这个 Why are you saying this?
而且不管别人说什么 And no matter what anyone says...
我都认为你是一个伟大的妈妈 I think you're a great mom.
真的吗 Really?
是的 Yeah.
我喜欢我的童年 Yeah, I loved my childhood.
是真的 你给了我所有我需要的 I did. You gave me everything that I needed.
而且你总是敦促我做得更好 And you always pushed me to do better.
你现在完美了吗 And were you perfect?
-是的 -不是 - Yes. - No.
但是我们都不是 But none of us are.
所以 我只是 So, I just...
我真的想让你知道 你做得很棒 I really want you to know... that you did great.
这是所有人中对我说过的最好的话了 That's the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.
我是说 我… I mean, I...
我真的认为你是一个极好的妈妈 I actually think that you're a really wonderful mom.
我是说 你的孩子是那么幸福 I mean, your kids are so happy.
他们那么可爱而且那么爱你 They're so sweet and they love you so much.
-谢谢你 -我的意思是 - Thank you. - I mean, I wish...
我希望我和你能像你和你的孩子一样亲近 I wish I was as close to you as you are to your kids.
妈妈 我们可以的 We still can, mom.
喔 艾米 我真的不擅长这点 Wow, I'm just not very good at this, Amy.
但我真的很爱你 But I just love you so much.
我真的非常爱你 I love you so much. I do.
-天啊 -噢 我的天 - God. - Oh, my God.
你们简直像坐云霄飞车 You're a train wreck.
呃 妈妈和女儿的关系 Well, it's a very complicated
真的 是太复杂了 relationship between a mother and a daughter.
但是这两个 But these two...
她们已经和好了 They've got it together.
-我知道 我懂 宝贝 -终于 - I know. I know, babe. - Finally.
好吧 好吧 给你 Yeah. Okay. Here.
-你要一些这个吗 -好的 - Do you want some this? - Yes.
没事的 没事的 It's okay. It's okay.
好吧 It's okay.
妈妈 好了吗 Okay, mom?
妈妈 已经午夜了 Mom, is it midnight already?
呃 好吧 Well, yeah.
我们得拯救圣诞节啊 We gotta save Christmas.
哦 我的天 我为了这个可是等了一辈子啊 Oh, my God. I've been waiting my whole life for this.
♫ 奔驰过雪地 ♫ ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
♫ 一匹马拉的无蓬雪橇 ♫ ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
♫ 我们越过田野 ♫ ♪ O'er the fields we go ♪
♫ 一路笑语不断一路笑语不断 ♫ - ♪ Laughing all the way ♪ - ♪ Laughing all the way ♪
♫ 铃儿在短尾巴上叮当响 ♫ ♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪
♫ 使我们的精神愉快 ♫ ♪ Making spirits bright ♪
♫ 今晚歌唱多欢畅 ♫ ♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing ♪
♫ 今晚驾车唱歌多畅快 ♫ ♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪
♫ 铃儿响叮当 ♫ ♪ Whoa jingle bells jingle bells ♪
♫ 一路响叮当 响叮当 ♫ - ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ - ♪ Jingle jingle ♪
♫ 噢 驾车多欢畅 ♫ ♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪
♫ 在一匹马拉的无蓬雪橇中 ♫ ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
♫ 嘿 铃儿响叮当 铃儿响叮当 ♫ ♪ Hey jingle bells jingle bells ♪
♫ 一路响叮当 响叮当 ♫ - ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ - ♪ Jingle jingle ♪
♫ 噢 驾车多欢畅 ♫ ♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪
♫ 在一匹马拉的无蓬雪橇中 ♫ ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪♪
圣诞节
噢 我的天 简直太棒了 Oh, my God! This is amazing.
大家圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas, guys.
妈妈 你真的做了很多工作 Mom, you really did a lot of work.
有人帮我忙啊 I had a little help.
圣诞快乐 孩子们 Merry Christmas, children.
外婆 Grandma.
噢 快去拆礼物吧 Oh! Go open your presents.
我给你买了第一季到第六季的《行尸走肉》 I got you seasons one through six of "The Walking Dead."
-噢 我的天啊 妈妈 是真的吗 -谢谢外婆 - Oh, good Lord. Really, mom? - Thanks, grandma.
我去开门 I'll get it.
哦 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas!
洛丽 亲爱的 圣诞快乐 Lori, Merry Christmas, honey.
-圣诞快乐 露丝 -圣诞快乐 耶稣 - Merry Christmas, Ruth. - Merry Christmas, Jesus.
噢 是杰西 Uh, it's, it's Jessie.
哇 你的肩膀真宽 Wow, you have really broad shoulders.
艾米 感受一下他的肩膀 Amy, feel his shoulders.
哦 好吧 好吧 妈妈 Oh, here we go. Okay, mother.
谢谢你 来吧 Thank you. Get in.
哦 谢谢你基本上记住了他的名字 Oh, thanks for almost learning his name.
我爱你 女儿 I love you, girl.
圣诞快乐 琪琪 Merry Christmas, Kiki.
妈妈 圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas, mom.
你喜欢我做的琪琪头像睡衣裤吗 Do you like my Kiki-head pajamas?
-喜欢吧 -谢谢你 - Sort of. - Thank you.
我只是想让你知道 I just wanted to let you know
我将隔壁的房子 that I have put the house
拿出去卖了 next door on the market.
-谢谢你 -不客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
我真的很感激 I really appreciate that.
我知道我有时候有点疯狂 I know I can be a little psycho sometimes.
我也知道你需要自己的空间 And I know you need your space.
这就是为什么我买了对街的房子 Which is why I bought the house across the street.
我是开玩笑的 我没有买街对面的房子 No, I'm kidding. I didn't buy the house across the street.
我买了街道下面的房子 I bought the house down the street.
-什么 -没有 - What? - No.
我要搬到你的阁楼里 I'm gonna move into your attic.
-妈妈 严肃点 -琪琪 怎么了嘛 - Mom! Seriously. - Kiki, what?
你住在哪 Where are you living?
我要回到我该去的地方 俾斯麦 I'm gonna go back to Bismarck where I belong.
-谢谢 -不客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
我只是 I just...
圣诞节的时候我真的很想你爸爸 I really miss your dad on Christmas.
我也是 I do too.
是吧 Yeah.
我也想 I do too.
圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas.
妈妈 圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas, mom.
嘿 妈妈 看圣诞老人给我送了什么 Hey, mom, look what Santa got me.
一个用过的棒球手套 A used baseball glove.
哦 那很棒 孩子 Oh, that's great, buddy.
我以前也有一个和它很像 I used to have one just like it.
那是圣诞老人吗？ Is that Santa?
亲爱的 那怎么会是圣诞老人呢 Why would it be Santa, honey?
记住 圣诞老人昨晚上来过了 Remember, Santa came last night.
我能进来吗 Can I come in?
呃 Hm.
呃 好吧 我知道 Um, alright, I know I haven't
我不是世界上最好的妈妈 been the best mother in the world.
但是你 不知怎么地变得真的很棒 But you... somehow just turned out really good.
呃 卡拉 我只是 Um, and, Carla, I just...
我想更像你 I wanna be more like you.
所以 我已经放弃赌博了 So, I've given up gambling...
-妈妈 -赌马 - Mom. - On horses.
而且我会一分一毫地将我从你那里借的钱都还给你 And I'm gonna pay you back every cent that I borrowed from you.
-真的吗 -是的 - Really? - Yeah.
你知道 我有一份工作了 You know, I got a fucking job.
-你在开玩笑吗 -没有 - Are you fucking kidding me? - No!
他们雇用我负责孩子们的安全 They hired me to be in charge of children's safety.
为什么他们要让你做那个 Why would they let you do that?
我甚至不知道我怎么通过药检的 I don't even know how I passed the drug test.
-真的吗 -他们简直太疯狂了 - Seriously? - They're crazy.
他们会因为这个付给我薪水 我想我能够在 And with what they're paying me, I think I can pay you back
245年后还清你的钱 in about 245 years.
等等 那就意味着你要在这边 Wait, does this mean you're gonna... stick around
停留一段时间了 for a while?
如果你觉得可以的话 是的 If it's cool with you, yeah.
妈妈 Mom.
这就是我想要的 It's all I've ever wanted.
好吧 你要我呆多久我就呆多久 Well, I'll stay as long as you want me to.
妈妈 Mom.
妈妈 我还收到了一盒保鲜袋 Mom, also I got a box of Ziploc bags.
哦 亲爱的耶稣 Oh, sweet Jesus.
♫ 哦 太好了 ♫ ♪ Oh yeah ♪
♫ 蜡烛缓缓燃烧 ♫ ♪ Candles burnin' low ♪
♫ 棚寄生漫布 ♫ ♪ Lots of mistletoe ♪
♫ 我们所到之处 ♫ ♪ Lots of snow and ice ♪
♫ 冰雪漫天 ♫ ♪ Everywhere we go ♪
♫ 唱诗班高唱颂歌 ♫ ♪ Choir singing carols ♪
-大家的烧饼来啦 -除了我以外的所有人 - Shaobing for everybody. - Bing with everybody but me.
♫ 所有这些和那些 ♫ ♪ All these things and more ♪♪
天啦 圣诞节吃中餐 God, Chinese food on Christmas.
我感觉自己是个犹太人 I feel like such a Jew.
你要来一些烧饼吗 Would you like some shaobing?
哦 你知道我要的 Oh, you know I would.
不 亲爱的 那是露丝的老公 No, honey, that is Ruth's husband.
哦 老实说 没关系 Oh, honestly, have at it.
汉克也应该在圣诞节得到欢乐 Hank deserves a little fun at Christmas.
哦 Oh.
我喜欢这个 I love this.
伙伴们 我不敢相信我们在圣诞节吃中餐 Guys, I can't believe that we're eating Chinese food
而且我妈妈还很喜欢 for Christmas dinner and my mother is loving it.
我不敢相信我妈妈穿着这样的运动衫 I can't believe my mom's not wearing a sweatshirt.
-没有印着我的照片 -伙伴们 我们成功了 - With my face on it. - Guys, we did it.
我们今年真的过了一个圆满的圣诞节 We actually took Christmas back this year.
你们知道吗 没有你们我真的做不到 You know what? I couldn't have done it without you girls.
-噢 -姑娘们 我爱你们 - Oh! - Ladies, I love you.
-我们也爱你 -我们也是 - We love you back. - Same here.
嗨 呃 Hi, is, um...
-卡拉在吗 -在 - Is Carla here? - Yes!
泰•史温德尔 Ty Swindle.
你怎么找到我的 How did you find me?
-我就是找到了你 -嗨 - I just looked for you. - Hi.
哦 我现在有很多事情想要给你说 Well, there are so many things I wanna say to you right now.
那就说吧 Just say it.
我感觉如果我用舞蹈来表达 I feel like it's better if I, I do it through
会更好一些 the universal language of dance.
-不是吧 -是的 - Shut up. - Yes!
-什么舞蹈 -圣诞舞蹈 - What dancing? - Christmas dancing.
哦 泰 Oh, Ty!
♫ 我感觉 ♫ ♪ Well I'm feeling ♪
你们都太好了 ♪ Mighty fine y'all ♪
♫ 录音机里在播放我的音乐 ♫ ♪ Got my music on the radio ♪
-哦 天啊 -哦 我的天 - Oh, boy. - Oh, my God.
♫ 我感觉上帝太好了 ♫ ♪ Well I'm feeling mighty nice Lord ♪
♫ 录音机里在播放我的音乐 ♫ ♪ Got my music on the radio ♪
真的太美妙了 泰 That's beautiful, Ty.
♫ 宝贝 我想站在圣诞树下和你亲吻 ♫ ♪ Feel like I wanna kiss you baby ♪
♪ 站在在槲寄生树下 ♪ ♪ Standin' underneath that mistletoe ♪
哦 我的天 Oh, my fucking God.
将她转过来 将她转过来 Turn her around. Turn her around.
没关系的 把她转过来就好 It's okay, just turn her around.
♫ 将所有的好的礼物都留给我的宝贝 ♫ ♪ Maybe left all them good presents for my baby ♪
♫ 然后说 宝贝 圣诞快乐 ♫ ♪ I said Merry Christmas baby ♪
♫ 你对我如此之好 ♫ ♪ Surely you treat me nice ♪
♫ 你对我如此之好 ♫ ♪ You surely treat me nice ♪♪
好吧 好吧 那已经可以了 Okay, alright, that's great.
好吧 我们看够了 那很不错 Okay, we're done. That was amazing.
非常感谢你 Thank you so much.
哥们 快去争取吧 Just go for it, dude.
哦 宝贝 别哭 Oh, baby, don't cry.
唷 他太性感了 Phew! He's so hot.
-那是我的儿子 -是吗 - That's my son. - Yeah?
-嘿 你好 -这里 - Hey, man. - Right there.
-那是贾克森 -嘿 你好吗 - That's Jaxon. - Hey, there. How are you?
-很高兴认识你 -呃 - Nice to meet you. - Mm-hmm.
-我马上带你进去 -我爱你 - I'll take you right in there. - I love you.
我爱你 I love you.
-欧 -哎哟 - Phew! - Whoo!
哦 我们最好马上出发 不然会错过航班的 Oh, we better get going or we're gonna miss our flight.
-什么航班 -噢 我没告诉你吗 - What flight? - Oh, I didn't tell you?
伊希斯、露丝和我准备去拉斯维加斯过新年 Isis, Ruth and I are going to Las Vegas for New Year's.
我们要在韦恩·牛顿死之前去看一下他 And we're gonna see Wayne Newton before he dies.
哎哟 Whoo!
你们三个要一起去拉斯维加斯？ The three of you are going to Vegas together?
是的 呃 我们现在是好朋友了 Yeah, well, we're best friends now.
呃 我们 是新朋友 Well, we're, we're new friends.
我们是最好的朋友 We're best friends.
好吧 我们是新朋友 Yeah, we're new friends.
不管怎样 祝大家圣诞快乐 Anyways, Merry Christmas, everyone.
-圣诞快乐 -大家圣诞快乐 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, everyone.
汉克 拿上我们的行李 Hank, get all our bags.
♫ 我做我想做 她确实如此 ♫ - ♪ I do what I want ♪ - ♪ She does ♪
♫ 说你想说 ♫ ♪ Say what you say ♪
♫ 我每天辛勤工作 ♫ ♪ I work real hard everyday ♪
♫ 我就是女人 ♫ ♪ I'm a motherfucking woman ♪
♫ 宝贝 没关系的 ♫ ♪ Baby alright ♪
♫ 我不需要男人 ♫ ♪ I don't need a man ♪
♫ 将我紧紧束缚 ♫ ♪ To be holding me too tight ♪
♫ 我就是女人 ♫ ♪ I'm a motherfucking woman ♪
♫ 宝贝 那是对的 ♫ ♪ Baby that's right ♪
♫ 今晚我就要和我的姐妹狂欢 ♫ ♪ I'm just having fun with my ladies here tonight ♪
♫ 我就是混蛋 ♫ ♪ I'm a motherfucker ♪♪
大家圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas, everyone!
圣诞节
♫ 嚏嗜嗜 姑娘 ♫ ♪ Ho ho ho girl ♪
♫ 你在我的淘气鬼名单上 ♫ ♪ You're on my naughty list ♪
♫ 今晚 ♫ ♪ Tonight ♪
♫ 嚏哦噢 ♫ ♪ Ho whoa-oh ♪
♫ 耶耶 ♫ ♪ Yeah yeah ♪
♫ 嚏哦噢 ♫ ♪ Oh whoa-oh ♪
♫ 你知道我要告诉你 ♫ ♪ You know I got to tell you girl ♪
♫ 你很特别 ♫ ♪ You're something special ♪
♫ 我觉得宝贝我必须 ♫ ♪ The way I feel babe ♪
♫ 拥有你 ♫ ♪ Gotta have you ♪
♫ 和我在一起吧 ♫ ♪ Right here with me ♪
♫ 我永远不会让你走 ♫ ♪ I will never let you go ♪
♫ 嘿 ♫ ♪ Hey ♪
♫ 你用时光拴住了我 ♫ ♪ You stuck with me through the times ♪
♫ 我不能控制 ♫ ♪ I didn't have it ♪
♫ 如今我们变得更好 ♫ ♪ Now we got something good ♪
♫ 你可以掌握信用卡 ♫ ♪ You can have the plastic ♪
♫ 其他任何你想要的都可以拥有 ♫ ♪ And anything you want you can have it ♪
♫ 我想成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ ♪ I wanna be your Santa Claus ♪
♫ 你总是辛勤工作 ♫ ♪ You're always working hard girl ♪
♫ 今晚我们即将启程 ♫ ♪ Tonight we're taking off girl ♪
♫ 我想成为你的圣诞老人 想要成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ - ♪ I wanna be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Wanna be your Santa Claus ♪
让我成为你的圣诞老人 让我成为你的圣诞老人 - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪
♫ 我想成为今晚你打开的第一个礼物 ♫ ♪ I wanna be the first gift you open tonight ♪
♫ 我想成为你的圣诞老人 想要成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ - ♪ I wanna be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Wanna be your Santa Claus ♪
让我成为你的圣诞老人 让我成为你的圣诞老人 - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪
♫ 我想成为你今晚回家的理由 ♫ ♪ I wanna be the reason that you come home tonight ♪
♫ 宝贝 今晚如此美好 ♫ ♪ Feel so good tonight baby ♪
♫ 宝贝 和我共度美好时光 ♫ ♪ Baby take your time with me ♪
♫ 我是你的礼物请慢慢打开 ♫ ♪ I'm your gift unwrap me slowly ♪
♫ 壁炉在最佳的时间燃起 ♫ ♪ The fireplace is burnin' perfect time to... ♪
♫ 姑娘 我有特别的东西要给你 ♫ ♪ Girl I got something special for you ♪
♫ 我要成为 ♫ ♪ Girl I gotta be ♪
♫ 噢 ♫ ♪ Oh ♪
♫ 我不想圣诞节没有你 ♫ ♪ I don't wanna spend this Christmas ♪
♫ 让我成为 ♫ ♪ Without you letting me feel ♪
♫ 嘿 ♫ ♪ Hey ♪
♫ 你的圣诞老人 宝贝 ♫ ♪ Your Santa baby ♪
♫ 圣诞老人 宝贝 ♫ ♪ Santa baby ♪
♫ 今晚 ♫ ♪ Tonight tonight ♪
♫ 我想成为你的圣诞老人 想要成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ - ♪ I wanna be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Wanna be your Santa Claus ♪
让我成为你的圣诞老人 让我成为你的圣诞老人 - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪
♫ 我想成为你今晚回家的理由 ♫ ♪ I wanna be the reason that you come home tonight ♪
♫ 今晚回家 ♫ ♪ Come home tonight ♪
♫ 我想成为你的圣诞老人 想要成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ - ♪ I wanna be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Wanna be your Santa Claus ♪
让我成为你的圣诞老人 让我成为你的圣诞老人 - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪ - ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪
♫ 我想成为今晚你打开的第一个礼物 ♫ ♪ I wanna be the first gift you open tonight ♪
♫ 我想成为 我想成为 ♫ - ♪ I wanna be ♪ - ♪ I wanna be ♪
♫ 我想成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ ♪ I wanna be your Santa Claus ♪
♫ 要成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ ♪ Gotta gotta be gotta gotta be your Santa Claus ♪
♫ 今晚让我成为你的圣诞老人 ♫ ♪ Let me be your Santa Claus ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♫ 宝贝 圣诞快乐 ♫ ♪ Merry Christmas baby ♪♪
♫ 我整理头发 我修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ I do my hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin' ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 整理头发 我修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 感觉好如地狱 ♫ ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 哦 姑娘 你要踢掉你的鞋子 ♫ ♪ Whoo girl need to kick off your shoes ♪
♫ 深呼吸专注于你自己 ♫ ♪ Got to take a deep breath time to focus on you ♪
♫ 所有你经历的无尽长夜 ♫ ♪ All the big fights long nights that you been through ♪
♫ 我会为你留一杯龙舌兰 ♫ ♪ I got a bottle of tequila I been saving for you ♪
♫ 推翻老板然后改变人生 ♫ ♪ Boss up and change your life ♪
♫ 你可以不费吹灰之力 ♫ ♪ You can have it all no sacrifice ♪
♫ 我知道他对你不好 我们可以纠正这个 ♫ ♪ I know he did you wrong we can make it right ♪
♫ 离开吧 今夜让一切结束吧 ♫ ♪ So go and let it all hang out tonight ♪
♫ 因为他已不再爱你 ♫ ♪ 'Cause he don't love you anymore ♪
♫ 所有掉头离开 ♫ ♪ So walk your fine ass out the door ♪
♫ 整理头发 修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ And do your hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 整理头发 我修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 整理头发 修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 整理头发 修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 喔 ♫ ♪ Ooh ♪
♫ 耶 ♫ ♪ Yeah ♪
♫ 好吧 ♫ ♪ Alright ♪
♫ 聆听 ♫ ♪ Listen ♪
♫ 如果他已不再爱你 ♫ ♪ If he don't love you anymore ♪
♫ 那就掉头离开 ♫ ♪ Then walk your fine ass out the door ♪
♫ 然后整理头发 修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ And do your hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 整理头发 修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 整理头发 修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 整理头发 修剪指甲 ♫ ♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪
♫ 宝贝 你感觉如何 感觉不错 ♫ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪
♫ 感觉不错 宝贝 你感觉如何 ♫ - ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪ - ♪ Baby how you feelin'? ♪
♫ 感觉不错 ♫ ♪ Feeling good as hell ♪♪ �