我觉得我生理期要来了 I think my period's coming.
好吧 Ok.
嗨 Hi.
你还好吗 发生什么事了 你受伤了吗 Are you all right? What's happened? Are you hurt?
-没有 -那就好 - No. - Oh, good.
发型不错 Nice haircut.
比之前要好 It's better.
我能进去吗 Can I come in?
你为啥不通知我们就过来了 Why didn't you text?
我也就是临时起意 Well, I just thought I'd pop by.
-别骗我 -我有话要对马丁说 - Tell the truth. - I need to speak to Martin.
-马丁 -马丁 马丁 - Martin? - Martin. Martin!
你有什么话会想跟 Why on earth would you want to speak to...
-马丁说 -你好 你好 - Martin? - Hello! Hello!
我老婆进了我书房 你好 My wife in my study! Hello!
给我两秒钟 Give me two.
我赌十镑肯定是亚洲动作大片 Gang bangs, Asian, I'd put a tenner on it.
结束了 Finished.
你好啊 Well, hello, you.
她想和你聊聊 She wants to talk to you about something.
噢 好吧 今天肯定是我的幸运日 Oh, well, it must be my lucky day.
你说过 她只会和她喜欢的人说话 You said she only likes to talk to people she fancies.
呃 Ergh.
-能让我们单独聊聊吗 -为什么 - Can you leave us? - Why?
他在筹备给你的惊喜生日派对 He's organising your surprise birthday party.
我 A...
你知道我讨厌惊喜 You know I hate sur...
好吧 Ok.
现在我有一周时间去筹备了 I have a week to organise that now.
祝你好运 Best of luck.
上衣不错 Nice top.
谢了 除了画作和纸艺以外 Thanks. Do you deal in
你能交易雕塑吗 sculptures as well as paintings and papier mache?
取决于雕塑的质量 Depends on the quality of the piece.
难以置信 Fuck me!
-多好的一尊雕塑啊 -我知道 对吧 - What a pair! - I know, right?
你从哪弄来的 Where d'you get this?
噢 就是 Oh, just a...
从某个市场上偷来的 Stole it from a market.
真不错 It's quite a piece.
是谁做的 Who's the artist?
只是个 Just a...
街头艺人 ...market artist.
如果我能卖掉它 我要拿卖价的一成 成交吗 If I sell it, I take 10%. Deal?
成交 Deal.
好的 OK, well,
我现在给她拍照 I'll get her photographed now.
别告诉克莱尔 拜托 Don't tell Claire, please.
不然呢 Or what?
不然我就 Or I'll...
我就 I'll...
我可没有把柄在你手上 公主殿下 You've got nothing on me, princess.
不然我就告诉她你在看乱交色情片 Or I'll tell her you were watching gang bangs.
拜托不要再这样做了 Please don't do that again.
顺便说一句 我没看 I wasn't, by the way.
真让人失望 Disappointing.
那个是你从哪拿的 Where did you get that?
我自己带着的 I brought it with me.
不 才不是呢 还回来 No, you didn't. Give it back.
小气鬼 Tight.
和哈里和好了吗 Patch things up with Harry?
是啊 我们 呃 Yeah, we're, erm...
我们订婚了 所以 We're engaged, so...
老天 什么 God! What?
不 我们没有订婚 No, we're not engaged!
不 他又回公寓打包他的行李了 No, he's back at the flat packing up all his stuff again.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
他以前 He really...
真的能让你开心 ...used to make you laugh.
他以前也说过这样的话 He also used to say things like...
你不像其他女孩 You're not like other girls.
你能 You can...
跟上我的节奏 ...keep up.
我挺喜欢哈里的 I like Harry.
我喜欢他的歌 I liked his songs.
我很欣赏哈里在我们分手时做出的贡献 I admire how much Harry commits to our break-ups.
我的意思是 这可是个新细节 I mean, this is a new detail,
但他通常的确会做得极端一点 but he does usually go the extra mile.
有几次 他甚至打扫了整个公寓 A few times, he's even cleaned the whole flat.
好像这公寓是个犯罪现场似的 Like it's a crime scene.
我在考虑是不是应该 I've considered timing a break-up
每当公寓需要打扫的时候计划一次分手 for when the flat needs a bit of a going over.
我觉得我们俩还是不合适 I don't think this is working.
什么 What?
但他总是会留下 But he always leaves...
他的东西 ...him
作为再回来的理由 to come back for.
得想想现在能和我做爱的所有人了 Got to think about all the people I can have sex with now.
我可不是对性上瘾 I'm not obsessed with sex,
我只是没法停止想到它 I just can't stop thinking about it.
性的表现 The performance of it.
性的尴尬 The awkwardness of it.
性的戏剧化 The drama of it.
你意识到有人渴望你的身体 The moment you realise someone wants
的那个时刻 your body.
对性本身的感觉倒不是很多 Not so much the feeling of it.
在哈里回来之前 大概还有四十八小时的时间 Probably got about 48 hours before Harry comes back.
我应该准备一下了 I should get on it.
我花了半个小时想让自己看起来好看一点 I took half an hour trying to look nice
结果我看起来简直美呆了 and I ended up looking amazing.
就像那些以前的时光 Just one of those days.
美艳动人 青春无敌 崭新上衣 风骚微露 Gorgeous, fresh-faced, new top, little bit sexy,
走在去我咖啡店的路上 然后 on my way to open my cafe and...
噢 老天 Oh, God.
好吧 随便你怎么看我 小胖墩 Yeah, you check me out, chub-chub,
因为我们俩是没有可能的 because it's never gonna happen.
噢 天哪 他不敢相信我有多么吸引人 Oh, God, he can't believe how attractive I am.
有点担心 Kind of worried I'm going
我的美丽会让这个可怜的家伙犯罪 to make a sex offender out of the poor guy.
走你 最好有个好结果 走着 Here we go. This better be good. Here we go.
臭婊子 Hooker slag.
小心点 Oi!
不小心弄掉了我的黄瓜 Dropped my cucumber.
只是弄掉了我的 Just dropped my...
请给我一份芝士三明治 带走 Erm... Could I get a cheese sandwich to go, please?
好的 Sure.
总共 十二镑五十五便士 That'll be, er, 12.55, please.
伦敦就是物价高 London, eh?
谢了 Thanks.
我好像在哪见过她 她很有名吗 Where do I recognise her? Is she famous?
小波的死惊动了媒体 Boo's death hit the papers.
本地咖啡店女孩被一辆自行车 Local cafe girl gets hit by bike
一辆汽车 and a car
又一辆自行车撞击身亡 and another bike.
呃 不 她以前在这里工作 Er, no. She, er... She used to work here.
抱歉 我没有零钱了 I'm sorry, I don't have any change.
下一个走进来的男人就是自寻死路 The next man who walks in here is getting ridden to death.
-爸 -嗨 - Dad! - Hi.
这可不是我想要的 Not ideal.
呃 Erm...
你还好吗 How are you, eh,
亲爱的 darling? Erm...
你很忙吗 You busy?
有点 A bit.
那我不会耽误你 Well, I won't keep you, er...
我只是想聊聊 你知道的 那天 I just wanted to talk about, er, you know, when you...
你回家的那天晚上 When you dropped in the other night.
-好啊 -我一直在想 我 - OK. - I can't help thinking that I...
-我们 呃 -什么 - We, er... - Yeah?
我知道我们 呃 I know that we, er...
没有多少机会来 呃 ...don't have much of a chance to, er...
你拿了那个雕塑吗 Did you take the sculpture?
你有没有 呃 Did you, erm...
拿那个雕塑 ...take the sculpture?
你拿没拿 Did you take it?
没有 No.
什么雕塑 What sculpture?
噢 太好了 很好 很好 Oh, right, fine, good.
很好 你说了没有 然后 Good, you said no and...
这就意味着我能走了 ...that means I can go.
好的 很好 All right, great.
你开心 你健康吗 Are you ha... Are you healthy?
嘿 你们这儿做 热的有机食物吗 Hey. Do you do, like, hot organic-y food?
当然 Of course.
你想要什么 What would you like?
-呃 意大利肉汁烩饭 -对 - Erm... Like, risotto. - Yeah.
好的 先坐吧 Sure. Grab a seat.
卫生棉条 卫生棉条 超大号 常规
嘿 Hey.
嗨 Hi.
嘿 Hey.
很高兴见到你 It's nice to see you.
我也是 You, too.
他操过我菊花 Fucked me up the arse.
你来买什么 What are you getting?
噢 只是一些 为了我 Oh, just these. For my...
流血的小阴道 ...tiny, bleeding vagina.
性感 Hot.
-你呢 -固体汤块 - You? - Stock cubes.
性感 Hot.
希望你来量不要太多 I hope it's a light flow.
噢 我来量巨多 Oh, it never is.
来量 It never...
巨多 ...is.
听着 Listen, er,
你过会还在这吗 you around later?
呃 Er...
是的 是的 拜托 是的 Yes, fucking yes, please, yes.
是的 Yes.
很好 Cool.
太棒了 Yes!
我现在对我的身材特别满意 I'm so happy with my body now.
我不用通过我的长相来定义我自己了 I don't have to define myself by how I look
因为我拥有这么火辣的身材 because I've just got a fucking great body.
-是啊 我现在能做其他的事情了 -太好了 - Yeah, I can do other stuff now! - That's so great!
麦克想现在开始准备要个宝宝 Mike wants to start trying for a baby.
-好啊 -不 - OK. - No...
我不能因为怀孕毁了这么好的身材 史蒂芬 I can't blow this body on a baby, Steph.
我要离开他 I'm going to have to leave him.
噢 该死 噢 Oh, shit. Oh.
这一点都不卫生 That is not hygienic.
-抱歉 -恶心 - Sorry. - Oh, gross.
我们要走了 We're leaving now.
我给你们介绍一下希拉里 I suppose you should meet Hillary.
两年前 我 Two years ago, I...
好吧 最重要的事情是 就算你不喜欢 OK. The most important thing is, if you don't like it,
-我们也没法把这个退回去了 好吗 -好 - we can't take it back, OK? - OK.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
抱歉 我有点紧张 I'm sorry, I panicked.
只要我能穿上或者能吃掉 我就很开心 As long as I can wear it or eat it, I'm happy.
这两样你都能做到 You can do both of those things.
噢 天呐 你送了我一只 Oh, my God, did you get me a...
-这是什么 -我 - What is this? - I...
-什么 这是什么 -我不知道 - What the... What is... - I don't know.
-这是什么 -可以让你宠爱 - What is it? - Something to love.
她太美了 She's beautiful!
你个傻瓜 You idiot!
逃跑大师 Escape artist.
我对豚鼠并没有什么特殊感觉 I don't feel anything about guinea pigs,
它们毫无意义 they're pointless,
但是小波把作为礼物的希拉里很当一回事 but Boo took Hillary very seriously as a gift
然后 很快 所有事情都变成和豚鼠相关的了 and, soon, everything became guinea pig-related.
这张实在太棒了 This is an excellent one.
喝点什么吗 Drink?
我很抱歉房间有些乱 Look, I'm, er, sorry about the mess.
-没事 -想要点五香火腿肉来配酒吗 - No problem. - Do you want some prosciutto with that?
十分可靠 So reliable.
非常难以得手 Utterly inaccessible.
无情地深邃 Relentlessly profound.
他所想要的只是把你弄进浴缸 然后问一些这样的问题 All he wants is to get you in the bath and ask questions like...
你怕什么 What are you afraid of?
而你发现你自己在给出这样的回答 And you find yourself saying things like...
我猜 I guess...
青春的流逝 ...losing the currency of youth.
问我一个问题 Ask me a question.
你是什么时候意识到自己长得这么好看的 When did you realise you were so good looking?
我差不多九岁的时候知道了我和别人不同 I knew I was different when I was about nine,
但在我十一岁的时候事情成真了 but shit got real around 11.
事情成真了 Shit got real?
你知道的 You know...
阿姨婶婶们变得很奇怪 Aunts got weird.
我还有个问题 I have another question.
好 Ok.
你有感觉到孤独吗 Do you ever feel lonely?
有 Yeah.
当然 Of course.
你呢 Do you?
从来没有 Never.
你想来点菠萝吗 Do you want some pineapple?
当然 Yeah.
天啊 啊 God, yeah!
哦 它们好小啊 Oh, they're so small!
太小了 They are so small!
-什么 -它们好小 - What? - They're so small!
-太... -小 - So... - Small!
老天 太特么小了 God, they are so fucking tiny!
是啊 我想 Yeah, I guess they're...
哦 上帝 它们仿佛根本不存在 Oh, God, they're hardly even there!
我是说 这么小还算有吗 I mean, what the fuck even are they?
太过分了吧 Bit much.
抱歉 Excuse me!
哦 啊 Oh, yeah!
我想起哈里来了 有点恐怖 I'm having a Harry panic.
奥芙丽夫人告诉我 应该好好过日子 Madame Ovary's telling me to run back to safe place,
我可以结婚生子 I can make baby in safe place,
但是你得忍得住寂寞啊 but you've got to ride it out.
绝不能给哈里打电话 Mustn't call Ha...
谢谢你能来 Thanks for coming.
没事 That's OK.
你还好吗 Are you OK?
你的短信看起来很着急 Your message sounded urgent.
你忙吗 Were you busy?
-不忙 我还在放通告期中间的小假期呢 -哦 太棒啦 - No, I was in the interval... - Oh, cool.
-《猫》 -很好 - ...of Cats. - OK.
-那个音乐剧 -很棒吗 - The musical. - Was it good?
真的很棒 Really good, actually.
很棒 Really good.
-抱歉打扰你了 -没有 没打扰 - Sorry for interrupting. - No, that's OK.
我 呃 我有感觉 I, er... I got the feeling
我在《猫》也没有什么前途 it wasn't going to end well for the cats,
所以最好还是先保留一些美好的记忆 别等到 so probably good to remember them like that before they all...
对不起 嗯 Sorry. Erm...
你还好吧 Are you OK?
你现在和谁在一起呢 Who were you with?
工作上认识的 A work friend.
一个女孩 A girl.
我 呃 I, erm...
我发现了这个 I found this.
谢谢 Thanks.
我还没注意我落下了 I didn't realise I'd left it.
为什么你的头发是湿的 Why's your hair wet?
别那样看着我 Don't look at me like that.
哪样 哪样 Like what? Like what?
听着 我不想做得那么冷血 或者是残忍 或者 你知道的 Look, I don't want to sound cold or cruel or... You know...
而且我也不想认为我总是在剧场里 And I don't want to think I'm just off happy at the theatre
也不开心 我没有 all the time, either, I'm not,
但是 but...
我不会再 我 I'm not going to... I just...
如果你又想复合的话 我讲真的 If this is about us getting back together, I was serious,
这次我不会再回头了 this time I'm not just going to come running back.
我真的得远离你一段时间 I really just need some time away from...
真高兴你打电话给我了 I'm so glad you called.
幸亏你接了 I'm so glad you picked up.
我想你了 I've missed you.
哦 上帝 你感觉真好 Oh, my gosh, you feel good.
我希望他只是上我就好了 I wish he'd just fuck me.
他却想和我做爱 All he wants to do is make love.
你好吗 Are you OK?
嗯 我很好 我感觉很棒 Yeah, I'm really good. I'm amazing.
他简直就在消磨我 He's wasting me.
有一次 那个男的每次进出都要呼吸一下 I was once fucking this guy who would breathe on every thrust...
你好年轻 You're so young!
我都靠那次意淫呢 I masturbate about that all the time.
最近我总在自己解决 I masturbate a lot these days.
尤其是我感觉无聊的时候 Especially when I'm bored.
或者生气的时候 Or angry.
或者心烦的时候 Or upset.
我们能不能 Can we just...
或者高兴的时候 Or happy.
哦 啊 Oh. Yeah.
啊 Yeah.
太棒了 Amazing.
-我可以吗 -不 你就 - Shall I? - No, could you just...
别动了 Just stay there.
不 别 就 No, don't. Just...
啊 啊 啊 Yeah. Sh, sh! Ah!
啊 Yeah.
好的 就 Yes. Just...
啊 Ah, just...
啊 天哪 Ah, God.
听着 我觉得我们不要再手淫了 Look, I think we should stop masturbating.
先别着急反驳 我只是 And don't say anything yet, I just...
我只是觉得 我们如果更关注彼此 可能会更好 I just think it might help us focus on each other.
你懂的 参与度更高一点 You know, be more present.
成功的情侣都这样做 Really successful couples do it.
呃 Erm...
我把咱们的震动棒藏起来了 I've hidden our vibrators.
咱们的 Our?
我觉得应该会很有意思的 I thought it might be fun.
把他们找出来 To find them?
不是 就是尝试着不去 No, just to try and not...
爱抚自己 试着 ...touch ourselves, to try and...
爱抚对方 ...save our touches...
我是说 你觉得呢 ...for each other. I mean, what do you think?
好吧 我觉得你太性感了 Well, I think you're being really sexy.
-不要 -哦 我开玩笑的 - Don't! - Oh! I'm joking.
我从来不手淫 I never masturbate.
我压根不知道怎么手淫 I don't know how.
是啊 而且 我觉得我们应该试着给对方一些惊喜 Yeah, also, I thought we should try and surprise each other
每天一个惊喜 你知道的 once every day, just a, you know...
甜蜜的小惊喜什么的 来保持 A sweet little something, just to keep it...
-你懂吗 -你是从书里看来的吗 - You know? - Are you getting this out of a book?
我已经准备好了给你的第一个惊喜 所以 I've already planned your first surprise, so...
晚餐前别吃太饱哦 Don't eat too much before dinner.
待会儿见 See you later.
你也是 待会儿见哦 And I will see you later, too.
嗨 Hi.
我只是想来吃个午饭 Just thought I'd pop by for some lunch.
有点怪啊 Bit weird.
是啊 好吧 Yes, well...
你怎么样 How are you?
没什么生意啊 Quiet day?
是啊 我还好 Yeah, I'm fine.
你呢 你看起来压力很大 You OK? You look stressed.
嗯 我是成功人士啊 所以 Well, I'm successful, so...
有黑麦面包吗 Do you have rye bread?
没有 但是有普通面包 吃了之后你会再吐出来 No, but I have some normal bread you can puke up after.
太好了 Great.
夹什么 What do you want on it?
哦 西红柿就行 Oh, just tomatoes is fine.
只要西红柿 Just tomatoes?
西红柿三明治 Just a tomato sandwich?
是啊 有问题吗 Yes. Is there a problem?
没有 No.
听着 我不是想打听这个惊喜派对 Listen, I don't want to know anything about this surprise party,
但是 如果你能 呃 but, if you could just, erm,
周五七点半把它安排在我家 就再好不过了 have it at mine this Friday at 7:30, that'd be great.
我可以组织 然后表现得很惊喜 I can organise it and act surprised
但是 如果你能 呃 but, if you could just, erm...
你知道吗 要不我来办吧 Do you know what, why don't I just do it?
我可以举办聚会 做菜 然后表现出惊喜的样子 I can organise it, do the food, act surprised,
这样你就解脱了 and just take it off your hands.
我是说 我看的出来你很忙 所以 I mean, I can see that you're busy, so...
好吧 如果你愿意的话 OK, if you want.
嗯 也不是我愿意啦 Well, I don't want to,
但是 我觉得这样人人都轻松 but I think it would be easier for everyone
-如果我能 -好的 - if I could just... - OK.
我是说 我已经定好了 都安排好了 I mean, I've done it, it's done.
周五七点半 在我家 It's this Friday at 7:30 at mine.
太好了 Great.
你是欠了多少钱啊 How behind are you?
如果是钱的问题 If it's money that you need...
我不差钱 I don't need money.
二十五镑 That'll be 25 pounds, please.
伦敦物价真高 London...
谢谢 Thanks.
那个东西居然还活着呢 Can't believe that thing's still alive.
哦 哈里怎么样了 Oh, any news on Harry?
嗯 我们和好了 Yeah, we're back together.
哦 天哪 我跟不上你们的节奏了 Oh, God, I can't keep up.
嗨 Hello!
哈里 Harry?
糟糕 Shit.
惊喜 惊喜 惊喜 惊喜 Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise.
-惊喜 -呃啊 - Surprise! - Argh!
呃啊 Argh!
是我 是我 是我 It's me! It's me! It's me!
你干嘛呢 我以为我要被强暴了 Why would you do that? I thought I was going to get raped!
对不起 宝贝 对不起 我以为你想要惊喜啊 I'm sorry! Baby, I'm sorry! I thought you wanted a surprise!
忍者惊喜 It was a ninja surprise!
哦 上帝啊 我的小心脏 Oh, my God, my heart!
我吓死啦 哦 天啊 I'm shaking so much! Oh, my God!
-哦 上帝 -哦 - Oh, my God! - Oh!
哦 上帝 Oh, my God!
没事了 你还好吧 OK. It's OK. Are you OK?
哦 天啊 Oh, my God.
你今天过得好吗 Did you have a good day?
很好 嗯 很好 谢谢 对不起 I did, yeah. Fine, thanks. I'm so sorry.
对不起 我没想到你会这么大反应 I'm sorry. I didn't think you were going to react like that.
我 I'm...
对不起 开个玩笑 I'm sorry, it was a joke.
这玩笑真不赖 It was a good joke.
上帝啊 Jesus.
我以为你会晚点才回来 I thought you'd be later.
-啊 -哦 天啊 - Argh! - Oh, my God!
哦 天哪 对不起 我得发泄出来 Oh, God, sorry! I just had to get that out!
我被吓到了 我还没缓过来呢 I'm still in shock! I'm still shaking!
太可怕了 That was horrible.
惊喜啊 It was a surprise.
我知道 I know.
谢谢 Thank you.
好了 It's fine.
我去给咱们拿点酒来 Shall I go and get us some wine?
好的 Ok.
我知道你长什么样 I know what you look like!
我知道你偷了什么东西 I know what you took!
最后一次了 That is the last time!
特别的爱给特别的 Splashed out on a special bottle for a special...
哈利 Harry?
我查看了你电脑上的历史浏览记录 I had to go into the history on my computer
本来是想找今天早晨在HM上看到的一件衣服 to find something I'd seen on the H&M website this morning and...
我没想对你指指点点 但是 I don't want to point fingers but...
肛交 群交 ...anal, gang bang,
成熟 大屌 mature, big cock,
小咪咪 变态 small tits, hentai,
亚洲人 青少年 Asian, teen,
乱伦 大屁股 MILF, big butts,
拉拉 同志 lesbian, gay,
口交 恋物癖 facial, fetish,
颜射 老少恋 bukake, young and old,
性虐 粗暴 窥视狂 swallow, rough, voyeur
还有 公开场合做爱 and public.
你为什么这么性感 Why are you being so sexy?
别让我讨厌你 Don't make me hate you.
爱你已经够痛苦了 Loving you's painful enough.
好吧 抱歉 OK, sorry...
但是我真心觉得你应该记下来 ...but I really think you should write that down.
我知道现在不合适说这个 I know it's not appropriate
但是我觉得你应该赶紧记下来 but I really think you should write that down.
-真的很好 -我不会记的 - It's really good... - I'm not going to write down...
不 我是认真的 你可以写歌什么的 No, I'm serious! For your songs and stuff.
完美 那个句子又有诗意 而且还很真实 It's perfect! It's poetic yet real.
真的 Serious.
别 Don't...
让我 ...make me...
-讨厌你 -是 我知道 谢谢 - Hate you. - Yeah, I know, thank you.
爱你已经够痛苦 Loving you is painful...
我在干什么呀 What am I doing?
听着 有一位同事喜欢我 Look, there's someone at work who loves me.
嗯 她说她爱我 而我却说我们不能在一起 Well, she told me she loves me and I said we couldn't be together
因为我想知道 because I had to know.
你想一个人吗 Do you want to be alone?
你再也不会看见我了 You will never see me again.
我永远都会爱着你 但是我不能再这样下去了 I'll always love you but I just can't take it any more.
我不恨你 我只是为你惶恐 I don't hate you, I'm scared for you.
他会写下来的 He's going to write that down.
不恨你 Don't hate you...
惶恐 Scared...
我去卧室 I'm going to go pack my
打包行李了 但是 呃 things up from the bedroom again, but, erm...
我 我不会给你打扫了 I'm... I'm not going to clean.
目前还保持得很干净 所以 It's still in pretty good shape, so...
如果一会儿没看见你的话 If I don't see you after that,
再见 goodbye.
再也不见 Forever.
他会回来的 He'll be back.
伦敦生活