I cannot believe I am stuck in the jungle
with such a spoiled brat.
You invited me.
I was talking about him.
Mr. Smith! Please,
we must stay together.
There are many dangers in the bush.
Eh, yes, yes, so you keep saying.
Hop to it, Larsen.
Why don't we ditch frick and frack and have some real fun?
Go swinging with the monkeys
or wrestle a crocodile?
What do you say, big j?
I'm sorry, Jade, but you must learn
that growing up sometimes means having to do things
that are not fun.
Like guiding obnoxious jerks through the jungle
just 'cause they give lots of money to the museum?
Uh... Yes.
In that case, I never want to grow up.
What am I saying?
I can't wait to grow up.
Get my own car, cell phone...
Which, now that you mention it...
I didn't mention it.
Smith: Oh, Mr. chan...
(Sighs) Yes?
Uh, why don't you take a fiver
while Larsen snaps a few photos?
Oh. Please, Mr. Smith,
this is no place to dawdle.
Well, how do I look, Larsen?
Very vibrant, sir.
(Twigs snapping)
(Gasps) Do not move!
Black panther!
Shoo! Shoo-shoo-shoo!
(Growling)
Uh, Jackie? I think that only works on bears.
Haah!
Nobody move.
Aah! Throw me your camera!
That is a $4,000 zoltex
with a hand-ground German lens and...
Grrr!
Whew!
And if you want photographs,
buy picture postcards at the airport!
I am through warning you
about the dangers of the bush.
This happens again, we turn back.
Oh, all right, Mr. chan. You've made your point.
No dawdling.
Speaking of which, it seems to me
that if we continue on this path,
it will take 2 days to reach the lost city of the muntabs,
but only 2 hours if we climb over that mountain.
If I had a cell phone, we could have called ahead for a weather report.
According to my map,
the lost city of the muntabs should be right...
Well, now we know how the lost city got its name.
This map can't be wrong.
I... I... I paid a fortune for it!
I warned you when we began the expedition, Mr. Smith.
The map might be a forgery.
There has never been any proof that muntab ruins exist.
What's so great about these muntabs, anyway?
Ancient legends speak of the muntabs'
extraordinary health and long life.
Ooh! Just imagine what secrets
their artifacts might reveal.
I suggest we turn back before the storm grows any worse.
I refuse to give up so easily!
I can't. I won't!
Whoa.
(Squeaking)
Ohh, the muntab cloak of invisibility!
The what?
Some legends speak of the muntabs' mastery of mirage...
A mixture of science and sorcery
that allowed them to shield their city.
It's definitely a wall,
and if there's a wall,
there must be a door.
(Gasps)
I found it, Larsen,
the lost city of the muntabs.
Bully for you, sir.
We must proceed with extreme caution.
There is no telling what lies...
Ahead?
It's like something out of a Tarzan movie.
It's fantastic.
Muntabs, Larsen.
They still exist.
So it would appear, sir.
You know, if I had a cell phone,
we could be calling 911.
Not now.
Quickly, Larsen. Take a picture.
No! Do not make any sudden moves!
(Murmuring)
Eh, wait!
Uh, please!
We mean no harm.
Uh, I am an archaeologist.
We are just visitors,
uh, accidental tourists.
(Murmuring) (Murmuring)
Sorry. I did not want to do that.
Uh, better come up with some more stuff
you don't want to do, quick.
Huh? What is he, a coward?
It's called capturing the high ground.
Hello? Martial arts 101?
This is a very bad way to work out disagreements.
How about we sit down and... ooof!
Ohh! (Grunting)
(Grunting)
Jackie!
(Gasps)
Ohhh!
Please, I don't want to hurt you.
(Growls)
I warned you.
(Crunching)
(Grunts)
You don't know who you're messing with!
Once my uncle Jackie gets hold of you,
you're history!
Jade, please. You will anger them.
A bit late for that, I dare say.
(Gasps) Their chief!
Well, talk to him, chan.
You're the expert on aboriginal cultures.
Huh? Uh...
How about that rain?
Outsiders not welcome here.
Eh, we come in peace.
In fact, we will happily leave in peace.
Hopefully one piece.
This... Weapon?
Heh heh. No, no. A ca-me-ra.
Push the button. Go ahead.
(Everyone gasps)
(Muttering)
Light in a box.
(Chief laughing)
(Muntabs laughing)
Oh. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha hee hee!
(All laughter stops)
(Clears throat) You see, we mean no harm.
Chief: One way to be sure.
A test. Behold cave of truth.
Only pure of spirit may pass through unharmed.
Well, if you're asking for volunteers...
Him.
Huh?
Um, so what happens if he doesn't make it through?
Then you shall all suffer
a fate far worse than his.
Uh-huh. Come on, chan!
Get your game face on! Let's go!
You can do it, Jackie!
I know you can!
I'm almost positive you can.
Uh, just between you and me,
what are his chances?
Many have entered the cave...
And?
None have emerged.
Ohhh.
(Gasps) A white rhino!
But you are extinct!
Ahh. Another muntab mirage.
Aaaah! Not a mirage!
Bad day, bad day!
Sorry. Good rhino.
I don't hear anything.
Is that a good sign?
Aaaaaah!
D-ohhh!
Aaaaaaaah!
Very bad day!
(Rumbling)
Chan!
Please, Jackie.
His heart was not pure.
You will all pay for your lies.
(Coughing)
You should really reinforce those walls.
Cave is very flimsy.
What'd I tell you? My uncle is pure of heart
and tough as nails.
Ohhh.
(Playing in rhythm)
Eat, eat.
Thank you. You are very generous.
Generosity not given. It is earned.
Oh, that's very wise, yes.
Uh, one would expect a chief of such wisdom
to be an old man, but you, uh,
not a gray hair or a wrinkle.
In fact, not one of you looks a day over 35.
It is a blessing to have wisdom of age
and body of youth.
Oh, I couldn't agree more.
So how do you do it? Uh, diets? Exercise?
Our ways are muntab ways.
Oh, come on, chief.
I'm prepared to offer plenty for your secret.
Do you know what this is?
Money. Major dinero.
Hmm. Prefer cloth.
Huh. Tell you one thing, chan.
These people may look good,
but they are backward as all get out.
(Laughter)
Come, Jade. We play.
Hello.
Cool, abila. 2 dolls for the price of one.
Want to play with her?
Uh, thanks, but I'm a little old to be playing with dolls.
Oh... not that there's anything wrong with them.
I mean, when I was your age...
What are you, like, 7, 8?
Heh. 230.
(Laughs) Oh, right.
Jade, I want to show you something,
but you must promise to keep it a secret.
My nickname? Fort Knox.
Secrets go in, they don't come out.
Honored guest, tell me, what brought you here?
How you find muntabs?
Mr. Smith purchased this map,
and we began searching for your ruins.
Uh, I mean, not ruins. I mean,
we had no idea that your people still...
Uh, that you were...
Ah! Entertainment!
Honored guest, please join fire dance.
Oh, uh, well, thank you. But I am not much of a dancer.
Not wise to dishonor chief.
This ought to be good.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Honored guest spoke truth.
Not good dancer.
(Gasps)
Chalice of life!
It is gone!
Chalice of life?
Muntab: Chalice!
Second muntab: Where's the chalice?
Return it, now!
Uh, but I did not take your chalice.
See?
Lies!
Hold on!
Jackie went through that truth tunnel thing, didn't he?
So he's pure or something, right?
The young one is wise.
You betcha.
Smith.
Ugh. We are doomed.
What do you mean?
Chief: Chalice filled with water from altar
gives muntabs eternal life.
Stay young forever.
So, you weren't kidding. 230?
I will be 231 next week.
Uh, happy birthday?
Without chalice, we will grow old.
And Smith will be immortal?
2,000 plus years of obnoxiousness. Yuck!
Jade! You must gather your warriors!
Smith couldn't have gone far.
We'll stop him!
We already grow weak.
With no chalice to refresh us,
we will perish in the jungle.
It is too late.
Too late? Come on! Where's that good old muntab...
Uh, I mean young muntab spirit?
It's never too late.
You are so young, yet speak with the wisdom of an elder.
See, Jackie?
He won't even let me have my own cell phone.
Ugh! Jade!
(Both panting)
Jackie!
Everything I've ever hoped for, Larsen,
right here, right now.
Eternal youth!
Eternal life!
Perhaps you would like me to sample it first, sir?
To make sure it's safe.
Oh, no, that won't be necessary.
You don't think I'd leave you out of this,
do you, old friend?
After all your years of faithful service?
Well, I had hoped...
Larsen, I want you by my side
to serve me forever.
Oh, goodie.
Shake him off!
Whoa!
Ugh! Gah! Ugh!
Gaah!
Whoa!
Larsen, cut the ladder!
Is that really necessary, sir?
What harm could he possibly do you now?
Do it!
Well, don't just sit there, Larsen.
Take the controls!
You're not stopping me, chan!
What did you do?!
Parachutes!
Oh, none for us, thanks.
You see, Larsen and I are immortal now.
Want it?
Good-bye, Mr. chan.
Yaaah!
Ow! Unh! Unh!
Ow! Ooh! Unh!
Ohh!
Guess what I caught?
My camera! Completely ruined!
Well, that's it, Larsen. I'm docking your wages for 75 years.
Yes, sir.
(Gasps)
Abila?
Jade.
Thank you for saving my people.
You are brave and generous.
As a wise, young chief once told me,
generosity is not given,
it is earned.
Uh, Jackie, that was Smith's map.
Yes. No one will ever find the muntabs again.
Hello? How are we supposed to find our way back through the jungle?
Well, Larsen...
How do I look?
Very youthful, sir.
I think I need to be changed.
Oh, goodie.
I am sure this is the right way.
You said that 6 hours ago.
Of course, if I had my own cell phone,
we could call captain black or a taxi or something.
This is really not the time, Jade.
Hey, Jackie.
If you could have any wish in the world, what would you wish for?
Peace.
We already have so many natural problems.
Earthquakes. Tornados. Hunger.
We've been killing so many people.
So many fighting going on.
We don't need human problems.
Really. I really need peace.