《如果还有明天》前情提要 Previously on the Big C...
我不想纵容偷窃 I don't condone stealing.
这是你的封口费 Here is your piece of the action.
这个不错嘛 This isn't bad.
她刚经历流产 She's dealing with a miscarriage.
你停止用药了 You went off your meds?
没错 我才不想用药来麻痹自己 Mm, yeah. I'm not gonna go through this doped up.
-我们是网友 -什么 - We met online. - What?
有个癌患子女聊天室 我们在那认识的 At a chat room for kids with parents who have cancer.
你得了癌症 You have cancer.
才不是 我是患者的孩子 No, silly, I'm the kid.
等等 你要离开吗 Wait, are you leaving?
我要回芝加哥一段时间 I'm going back to chicago for a bit.
我才不需要你那见鬼的同情 I don't need your fucking pity.
我无意惹你生气 I didn't mean to upset you.
那些药物无法治愈你 Those drugs are not a cure.
你能指望的 就是再多一点时间 The best that you can hope for is a little more time.
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■
如果
还有明天
第二
季第十集
如果
还有明天
翻译 猪猪
翻译 Shadow
翻译 爱是李
翻译 茄子
安然若水
翻译
子衿 小华
时间轴
安然若水
校对
特效/后期 飞飞/孤帆
总监 安然若水
等等 Hey!
你打算再撞我一次吗 Hey. You gonna hit me with your car again?
来点剩火鸡吗 Want some leftover turkey?
你还好吗 Are you okay?
好得很 只有呼吸时痛得厉害 Yeah. It only hurts when I breathe.
天啊 李 Shit, Lee.
你不该跑步的 You shouldn't be running.
宅家里可别想练好马拉松 Well, these marathons, they don't train for themselves.
很抱歉 感恩节那天对你撒谎 I'm sorry I lied to you at Thanksgiving.
我也有不对 Well, the jerk goes both ways.
我说了不少混帐话 I said some really shitty things.
这就是我从不与人亲密的原因 That's why I don't form attachments.
一方面因为我信佛教 It's partly because I'm Buddhist,
另一方面是因为我处理不好人际关系 it's partly because I'm not very good at them.
虽说忠言逆耳 但你直言不讳 You said some truths that were hard to hear.
我就喜欢你这点 It's why I like you.
你喜欢我 只是因为你需要一个癌友 You like me because you need a cancer friend.
还想吵架吗 我可不会嘴下留情 Are we fighting again? 'Cause I'll go there.
我不想吵 I don't want to fight.
我想念和你无话不说的日子 I miss talking to you.
你确定不来点火鸡吗 Sure you don't want some turkey?
拿来吧 Oh, give me that.
宝贝 我有东西要送你 Oh! Honey, I have something for you.
显然不会是蔬菜 Clearly it's not a vegetable,
你盘子里一点绿色都没有 since I don't see any on your plate.
我只有三十分钟吃午饭 I have 30 minutes for lunch.
速度和营养没法兼得 You can't be fast and healthy.
理论上没有可行性 It's not physically possible.
一个秤吗 A scale?
这叫体质监测仪 It's a body composition monitor.
就是个花里胡哨的秤 So a fancy scale?
你在给我什么暗示吗 You tryin' to tell me something?
结婚纪念日你送我个熨斗 'Cause I thought you had learned your lesson
我还以为你能吃一堑长一智呢 when you gave me the iron for our anniversary.
结婚六周年叫铁婚 Sixth anniversary is iron.
我不过是想俏皮一点 跟铁沾边 I was being cute. And "Iron-ic."
不管这个了 记得谢尔曼医生说过吗 Anyway, remember how Dr. Sherman said
密切监控身体状况非常有必要 it was very, very important to closely monitor your health?
这小玩意可是全能 This baby does it all.
除了能称体重 还能算出骨量 In addition to your weight, it gives you your bone mass,
脏器重量 以及你的代谢年龄 your visceral weight, and your metabolic age.
什么是代谢年龄 What's metabolic age?
就是综合各方面的因素 That's when you factor in all the other stuff,
计算出的身体实际年龄 it tells you how old your body actually is.
该死的 Oh, shit.
内有 免费婴儿用品 发放
在吗 Hey.
你想来点婴儿用品吗 Oh, hey. You lookin' for baby stuff?
随便拿 Everything's available.
婴儿湿巾除外 Uh, except the infant baby wipes.
别想拿走 那些宝贝 Those stay. Those gems are like
能给我的痔疮全方位深入呵护 a deep, wet tongue kiss on my hemorrhoids.
你怎么样 How ya doin'?
我知道你一时接受不了 I know this is a lot to take in.
不 一切都很好 No, it's all good.
对了 我有个打算 Yeah. Um, I've got a plan.
我想把那间婴儿房 I'm thinking about turning the baby's room
改造成无土栽培实验室 into a hydroponic pot den.
你好 Hello.
我是麦克 这是我妻子 朵恩 Uh, Mike, this is my wife, Dawn,
这是珍妮 and this is Janie,
我们的宝贝女儿 my little girl.
别客气 进来吧 Well, come on in!
瞧啊 凯西 Uh, look, Cathy.
迎来了温馨一家 A happy family in my home.
就在这里 Uh, it's right over there.
我们刚搬来 我们的后院相毗邻 We just moved in. Our back yards abut each other.
真不错 那我们就是屁邻了 I guess that makes us abut-buddies.
我叫凯西 这是我弟弟 肖恩 I--I'm Cathy. This is my brother, Sean.
如果你们用得上这些东西 Uh, if you could use any of the stuff,
我们很乐意把他们给个好人家 we'd love to see it go to a good home.
都这么新啊 It's all in really good shape.
可不是吗 Mm, it sure is.
我本想要个孩子 I was in the market for a baby,
但我一算吓一跳 but then I did the math.
你知道吗 联邦儿童税收抵免 Did you know that the Federal Child Tax Credit
比起生儿育女的开销 就是九牛一毛 doesn't even begin to offset the price of an actual child?
所以要孩子完全无利可图 So there's definitely no profit in it.
你们就任她这么嚎啕大哭吗 Are you, uh, are you planning on doing something with her?
她就是有点烦躁 或是累了 She's just a little fussy, or she's tired.
也可能是胀气 尿布湿了或是病了 Or gassy, or wet, or getting sick.
这是家常便饭 It happens all the time.
她总是哭个不停 She cries a lot.
她还是个婴儿 Mmm, she's a baby.
婴儿就是这样 又哭又闹又缠人 That's what babies do. Cry and manipulate.
他们是诡计多端的小杂种 They're machiavellian little shits.
当着珍妮的面 你能文明点吗 You mind not swearing in front of Janie?
-开什么玩笑 -肖恩 抱歉 - Seriously? - Sean. Sorry.
听着 女士 虽然你的孩子能听懂人话 Look, lady, although your baby can hear,
但她不见得能分辨是非 she won't be able to be offended
除非社会告诉她孰是孰非 until society tells her what to be offended by.
目前不文明行为包括 基佬打啵 Presently those things include, um, gay men kissing,
体臭四溢 body odor,
以及女人露点 and the female nipple.
他最近这段日子很不容易 He's been going through a really rough time.
这里的东西 你们看好就拿走吧 If you would like any of this stuff, please...
不必客气 Please take it.
谢谢 Thanks.
下回再说吧 Uh, maybe another time.
我有六个社交网站的账号 I have, like, six social networking sites.
脸谱 人人 聚友 Teamsugar, Myspace, Facebook,
推特 世纪佳缘 Bebo, and Twitter.
但我主要用它们来宣传我的博客 Although I mainly use that to promote my blog.
对 我貌似听说过你的博客 Oh yeah, I think -- I think I've heard of your blog.
叫啥名字来着 Uh, what's it called?
"我是个傻缺弄潮儿" I'm a -- I'm a hipster fucktard dot com?
你碰到人家咪咪了 Ow, you hit my boob.
不可能 你那小不点得用放大镜找 I need a magnifying glass to find that thing.
-去你的 -你们好 - Screw you. - Hello.
什么事 妈 What's up, mom?
你好 贾米森女士 Hi, Mrs. Jamison.
波比 Poppy.
我就和你开门见山了吧 We need to talk about the elephant in the room, here.
你在和亚当混在一起 这很古怪 不是吗 Uh, you and Adam hanging out, it's odd. Right?
这话什么意思 How do you mean?
他才十五岁 Well, he's 15,
而你早就告别青春期 奔着更年期去了 and you're closer to menopause than puberty.
你们最好别做越轨的事 So just tell me there's nothing sexual going on here.
天哪 老妈 我没听错吧 Oh, Jesus, mom, come on. Really?
有过先例 亚当 It happens, Adam.
再说就近期的表现来看 And your recent track record of decision-making
你的决策能力值得怀疑 hasn't instilled confidence.
亚当还是个孩子 贾米森女士 Adam's just a kid, Mrs. Jamison,
我们在一起只不过是因为 we're just, like, hanging out, 'cause we're, like,
我俩正经受着很多共同的烦恼 going through a lot of the same stuff.
好吧 Okay.
事先警告你 Fair warning,
你要敢伤我孩子 我会要你好看 You hurt my kid, I will hurt you.
吐口水揪头发 别以为我做不出来 And I am not above spitting or hair-pulling.
我得走了 I gotta go.
对了 我明天要给你个惊喜 Oh! I have a surprise for you tomorrow.
五点钟来接你 I'm gonna pick you up at 5:00.
给我穿帅点 好吗 And wear something nice, okay?
好的 Okay.
没想到今天会在这儿遇到你 Hi, I wasn't expecting to see you here today.
是啊 谢尔曼医生让我来的 Um, yeah, Dr. Sherman wanted to see me.
有种被叫到校长办公室的感觉 I felt like I was being called into the principal's office.
有时被叫进去是因为好事 Sometimes that can be a good thing.
你说不定能得张奖状 You might be given an award.
我倒是能得个肿瘤达人奖 I got the award for most tumors in the trial.
我拿到了扫描结果 Got my scan results.
它们受了重创 但是还在疯长 They take a beating, but they keep on growing.
天哪 李 Oh, Lee.
竟然没有奖品 真没劲 Didn't get a trophy, which blows.
谢尔曼劝我继续参加临床试验 Sherman wants me to stay in the trial,
但我觉得这只是他宽慰病人的办法 but I -- I think that's a pity move on his part.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
那你呢 How 'bout you?
你的扫描结果如何 How are your scans?
结果很理想 They're good.
我的肿瘤在萎缩 My tumors are shrinking.
试验对你起作用了 这很好啊 凯西 The trial's working for you, that's great, Cathy.
这对我来说也是个安慰 It makes my shitty news easier to swallow.
其实也不算太糟 你知道吗 Hey, things could be worse, you know?
我还活着 况且我刚在一家 I'm alive, and I just got a lead
老式汉堡小吃店拿到了座位 所以呢 on an old-fashioned burger and malt joint, so...
你是怎么做到的 How do you do that?
你是怎么做到对坏消息置之不理的 How do you do the whole water-off-a-duck's-back thing?
转移注意力 想想黑素瘤带给你的好处 You have to focus on the good things that melanoma brings.
想想它让我们交了多少朋友 Well, the people that we've met, and --
经历了多少事情 去了多少地方 the things that we've done, and the places that we've been.
我总对做不了的事情耿耿于怀 I keep focusing on all the stuff I'll never get to do.
视角不同 Glass half empty.
别在你所剩无几的年头里郁郁寡欢 That's no way to while away your remaining hours.
我还有一篇长长的待办事项清单呢 I -- I still have a very long to-do list.
我要站在消防车车尾兜风 I need to ride on the back of a fire truck,
要搞到一瓶1982年的拉菲红酒 and get my hands on a bottle of 1982 Lafite Rothschild
另外 不怕你笑 and, judge if you want,
我还想要一些更大胆的性爱 but I would still like to have more adventurous sex,
和男人 with a man.
更大胆的 More adventurous.
你和陌生人在酒吧后面做爱啊 You have sex with strangers in the back of bars.
是啊 但久了就腻了 Yeah. Well, it gets old.
-凯西·贾米森 -是血检 - Cathy Jamison? - Blood test.
好运 Good luck.
对了 据说如果白细胞计数不错 Hey, I hear that they're giving out ribbons
他们就会送你一条丝带 for good white blood cell count.
干嘛带我来宾馆 Why are we at a hotel?
不是要跟我玩熟女推倒小正太吧 This isn't some Dustin Hoffman, Mrs. Robinson thing, is it?
我很惊讶你竟然知道那个桥段 Wow, I'm surprised you even know that reference.
偷听来的 我妈对我爸这么说过 Yeah, I overheard my mom say it to my dad.
别犯傻了 你根本就不是我喜欢的型 Don't be such a dork, you're so not my type.
欢迎光临 艾迪那高中90届 签到处
等等 这是你的高中同学会吗 Wait, uh, is this your high school reunion?
惊喜哟 Surprise!
好吧 有些诡异 Okay. Kinda weird.
拜托 我们上周才参加了胎儿葬礼 Please, we went to a fetus funeral last week.
相比之下 高中同学会 A high school reunion, by comparison,
绝对算不上奇怪 is decidedly not weird.
你没事吧 Are you okay?
没事 只是看到这些名字 Yeah, it's just all these names.
想起了一些不好的事 I'm having a bad flashback.
那时候他们老是取笑我 People kind of made fun of me back then.
我老是戴着福尔摩斯式的帽子 I wore a Sherlock Holmes hat, whatever.
所以我下定决心今晚一定要来 So I told myself that I had to come tonight,
让他们看看我并不是 to show them that I'm not the loser
他们想的那么废柴 they all thought I was.
你想要开溜吗 没问题 Look, you want to bail? Fine, bail.
我自己能行 I can handle this on my own.
没事 我陪你 No, it's cool, I'll-- I'll stay.
欢迎你 Welcome.
亚当·拉杜什 Adam Ledouche.
Ledouche与Le douche同音 意为蠢货
漫山遍野小桑树* *All around the mulberry bush
猴子追着小鼹鼠* *The monkey chased the weasel
猴子玩得很开怀* *The monkey thought 'twas all in fun
鼹鼠腿短跑不快* *Pop! Goes the weasel
漫山遍野小桑树 猴子追着小鼬鼠* *All around the mulberry bush The monkey chased the weasel
猴子玩得很开怀 鼹鼠腿短跑不快* *The monkey thought 'twas all in fun. Pop! Goes the weasel
漫山遍野小桑树 猴子追着小鼬鼠* *All around the mulberry bush. The monkey chased the weasel
猴子玩得很开怀 鼹鼠腿短跑不快* *The monkey thought 'twas all in fun. Pop! Goes the weasel
鼬鼠悲催命哀哉 Fuck! Goes the weasel
亲爱的 你想用什么名字 Honey, what do you want your name to be?
-我比较喜欢凯西 -不是 不是 - I'm kinda partial to Cathy. - No, no, no.
这个秤可以设置个性化名字 This scale lets you create profile names.
当你站在秤上的时候 So that when you step on the scale,
它就会说 a voice says,
"你好 斯万 欢迎回来 " "Hello, Sven, welcome back."
我准备把我的名字设成斯万 My profile name's gonna be Sven.
因为北欧人都又瘦又高 Cause, you know, the Nordics are tall and thin.
好的名字是成功的一半 And that puts me halfway to svelte.
那把我的设成"再见" Make mine "Good-bye."
再见 Good-bye?
-为什么 -我也不知道 - Why? - I don't know.
我觉得听到它说 I think it might be fun to hear it say,
"你好 再见 欢迎回来"会很逗 "Hello, good-bye, welcome back."
那就设成"再见" "Good-bye" it is.
我的妈呀 Jesus chr--
你吓得我要尿裤子了 You scared the shit out of me.
我屋里屯着一大堆尿片没人用 Well, I got a whole stack of cloth diapers over at the house,
就等着派用场呢 just waitin' to mop up some poo.
都给你了 They're all yours.
-肖恩 你在找什么 -耳塞 - Sean, what do you need? - Earplugs.
或者棉球 Or--or, uh, cotton balls,
要是你这儿两样都没有 Or, if you don't have either of those, uh,
给我碎冰锥也行 an ice pick might do it.
只要是能让我听不见声音就行 Just something to keep sound from penetrating my eardrums.
伙计 你要耳塞干吗 What do you need earplugs for, buddy?
都是因为那个该死的宝宝 It's that fucking baby.
她一会儿咯咯笑 Sh--she--she giggles,
一会儿又哭 她父母现在就在外面 she cries. Her parents are out there right now,
拿着她的小公鸡玩具 rockin' out with their cocks out to this--
唱儿歌哄她 this, this... kiddie music.
简直是魔音穿脑 It's boring into my brain.
肖恩 别紧张 Sean, just take a breath.
你一这样我就害怕 You know, when you--when you get like this I get scared.
也许你该考虑一下继续吃药 Maybe you should think about going back on your meds.
不用不用 我只是需要 Oh, no. No, no. Um, I just need, uh,
需要点东西堵住我的耳朵 I need something to block out the noise.
我应该去药店看看 他们卖耳塞吗 Maybe I'll go to a drugstore. Do they sell earplugs?
他们肯定卖 They must.
耳塞得多少钱 你能借我点钱吗 How much do you think they cost? Can I borrow a little money?
肖恩 Sean.
对不起 我没事 I'm sorry. I'm fine.
我知道你很担心 但是我没事 I know you're worried, but I'm fine.
我感觉我像在 I feel like I'm at a party
我爸妈朋友的派对上一样 with a bunch of my parents' friends.
你不想跟他们说说话吗 Don't you want to, like, talk to people?
我也不知道 I don't know.
我看到纳塔利党已经集合了 I already see the Natalie clique forming.
他们都叫纳塔利 They're all named Natalie.
叫纳塔利的都是贱人 Natalies are always bitches.
可能来这儿不是个好主意 Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
波比·科瓦斯基 Poppy Kowalski!
天啊 真是你 Oh, my God, it is you!
我就说是她 你过的怎么样 I told you it was her. How are you?
我是纳塔利·派厄斯 Natalie Pious,
她是纳塔利·斯科特 Natalie Scott.
我挺好的 你们怎么样 I'm good, how are you guys?
挺好的 Really good.
这是我们的丈夫 杰夫和丹 Uh, these are our husbands, Jeff and Dan.
波比就是我跟你说过的那个 Poppy was the girl I told you about,
大一一直披斗篷的女生 who wore a cape all through freshman year.
很遗憾一直没流行起来 Some trends never really take off.
你不化哥特妆 我差点没认出来你 I almost didn't recognize you without goth makeup.
你现在做什么工作 So what do you do?
她现在是纪录片导演 She directs documentary films.
这是你儿子吗 Oh, is this your son?
我一直以为你是同性恋 I always thought you were gay.
我叫亚当 波比的男朋友 I'm Adam, Poppy's boyfriend.
我二十一岁 I'm 21.
总跟我们这个年龄的男的约会 有点烦了 Yeah, I--I kinda got tired of dating guys our age.
秃顶和啤酒肚实在不是我的菜 Bald and paunchy just wasn't doin' it for me.
没别的意思 No offense.
亚当 你是干什么的 And what do you do for a living, Adam?
我是研发推广新媒体的 I, uh, create and launch new media projects.
像社交网络啊 娱乐门户啊 Like social networking sites, entertainment portals,
游戏网站之类的 gaming sites, stuff like that.
确实是年轻人玩的啊 That is such a young man's game.
是啊 要是你们这些前辈甘居人后 Yeah, well if you old dudes are just gonna sit back
把钱拱手让给我们 and let us steal all your money,
那我还真是乐意之至 You know, I'm-- I'm more than happy to take it.
波比 你还真的飞上枝头变凤凰了 Poppy, you've really made something of yourself.
想当初你眼皮多浅 为了点小费 And all this from the girl who played folk music on the ukulele
就在自助餐厅弹破吉他 for tips in the cafeteria.
我弹烂吉他 I had my ukulele,
自然比不上你俩在足球大巴后座打飞机 and you two had your hand jobs at the back of the football bus.
我们去吧台那边了 We're gonna hit up the bar.
一会再聊 Okay, we'll catch up with you guys later.
很高兴见到你们 Great seeing you all.
猜猜谁搞到了一瓶拉菲红酒 Guess who found a bottle of Lafite Rothschild.
别兴奋得太早 Now, before you get too excited,
这可不是82年的 it's not an '82.
我兜里可没有 Turns out I don't have
五千大洋烧得慌 $5,000 burning a hole in my pocket.
这是07年的 That is a 2007.
但是 所有标签都差不多 But, you know, all the labels look the same.
所以我们可以装作 So we can pretend that we're having
在享用极度奢侈的红酒 a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine.
只是价格优惠不少 Just at a big discount.
我朋友说过 酒无所谓好坏 Well, as my friend says, it's not the wine,
关键在于你和谁一起举杯 it's the people that you're drinking it with.
况且 就算是07年的 也是豪门世家 Besides, 2007 is not a bad little step-brother.
你现在怎么样了 How you doin'?
我很好 I'm okay.
我也曾自怨自艾 但现在 I had my moment of self-pity, and now I am ready
我已经严阵以待 准备再度进发 to circle the wagons, and make another run at this.
敬这瓶美妙的红酒 Here is to a pretty amazing bottle of wine,
以及我最好的临床试验伙伴 and the best clinical trial partner I've ever had.
好酒 It's good.
你在里面磨蹭什么 What are you doing in there?
在厕纸上写小说吗 Making a documentary on toilet paper?
快出来 我还想再捉弄几个人 Come on, I want to go mess with some more people.
波比 你还好吗 Poppy, everything okay?
不 我不好 No, everything's not okay.
我来例假了 I got my period.
而且我没带卫生棉 And I don't have any tampons.
好吧 Okay.
你要回家吗 I mean, do you need to go home?
不 亚当 No, Adam.
我需要卫生棉 你得帮我拿一条来 I need a tampon. And I need you to get me one.
我 去哪拿 Me? Where?
厕所里没有贩卖机或者别的什么吗 I mean, don't they have a machine in there, or something?
有但是空了 It's empty!
你就去宾馆礼品店看看吧 求你了 Just, uh, go check the hotel gift shop. Please?
我可不想听到人们议论纷纷 The last thing I need is everybody talking about
说那个成天穿斗篷的哥特女孩 how the cape-wearing goth girl got her period
在同学会上来例假 at the class reunion.
亚当 Adam?
好 Yeah.
好吧 我这就去 Yeah, okay, I'm on it.
你买到了没 Did you get 'em?
我不清楚 这里能有十多种 I don't know, there are, like, ten different kinds here.
不错 Oh, good.
虽然你用不着知道 Not that you need to know this,
但我的私处很挑剔的 告诉我有哪几种 but I have fussy privates. Tell me what they have.
好的 普通量少型 超级加长型 Okay, slender regular, super plus,
轻薄型 甚至还有可降解型 lights, they have some biodegradable applicator.
这里还有卫生巾 they also have a sanitary napkin.
不 那玩意就像垫尿布一样 No, that's like wearing a diaper.
再说一遍有哪些类型 Tell me what they have again.
普通量少型 超级加长型 薄型... Slender regular, super plus, lights--
普通量少型就好 Slender regular's good.
普通量少型 Slender regular.
为什么 Why?
你为什么要折磨我 天杀的小鬼 Why are you torturing me? God damn it!
我操 Fuck!
这瓶酒见底了 We have a dead soldier here.
我还要再来一瓶 I am gonna get us another bottle of wine.
你想把我灌醉吗 Wha--are you trying to get the lady tipsy?
第一瓶是用来尽情享受的 Well, the first bottle is to spoil our senses,
第二瓶让你继续飘飘然 and the second bottle is just to keep the buzz going.
我已经晕乎乎的了 I'm already buzzed.
我想我闻闻那个软木塞就行了 I think maybe I'll just smell the cork on that one.
你还好吗 You okay?
没事 不 Yeah, hey! No.
不准伤感 知道吗 No sad eyes, all right?
只准开心 Just fun.
跟我说一些你从没告诉过别人的秘密 Tell me something that you have never told anybody else.
好的 Okay.
我想到了一件很好玩的事 Okay, here's-- here's a good one.
上大一时的某天 It was my freshman year in college,
我带男朋友回家见我父母 and I brought my boyfriend home to meet my parents.
我们俩欲火焚身 And we were horny as hell.
我们知道不能在家长的房子里嘿咻 And we knew that we couldn't have sex in my parents' house.
于是我们开车出去了 So... we went for a drive.
我们找到了一条长长的荒凉的 We found this long, desolate,
积满灰尘的田间小路 dusty farm road.
然后我们下车 And we got out of the car,
他将我反压在车盖上 and he bent me over the hood
我们在月光下大干了一场 and we fucked under the moonlight.
是的 但是 Yeah, but that--
这还不是最精彩的部分 that's not the best part.
第二天 我们把行李装进车子 So the next day, we're putting the luggage into the car,
向我的父母道别 we're saying good-bye to my parents,
就在那时 车盖上面 and there, on the hood,
还保留着经露水和灰尘定型的 preserved in dust and dew...
我的形象 was my image.
我张开的手臂 还有乳头和脸都印在上面 My hands outstretched, my tits, my face,
并且我知道我爸爸看到了 and I know--I know my father saw it, because, I mean,
因为第二年他都不敢看我的眼睛 he could barely look me in the eye for the next year.
怎么了 你在想什么 What? What are you thinking?
我在想你有一对美丽的乳房 That you have great breasts.
这话从基男口中说出 也算是夸奖吗 Is that a compliment? You know, coming from a gay guy?
别这么说 这就是一句夸人的话 Oh, hey, hey, it's-- it's always a compliment.
作为一个从没感受过乳房质感的人 Because speaking as someone who's never felt a breast,
我只能说我很欣赏它们的外形美 I can say that I appreciate their aesthetic appeal.
你一次都没摸过 You've never copped a feel?
我身边的女孩开始发育的时候 Well, by the time the girls had anything to cop,
我已经开始偷瞄更衣室里的男孩了 I was already staring down the guys in the locker room.
不过我没事 But I get it.
我想等到下辈子 I--I think that if I came back
如果我是个直男 in my next life as a straight guy,
我肯定会沉醉其中乐不思蜀 I would be able to wrap my head around a vagina.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
让你感受一下 Letting you cop a feel.
听我说 既然我没能实现你的红酒愿望 I mean, look, since I didn't really nail it on the wine wish,
这次总能满足你的好奇心 I mean, let's-- let's satisfy your curiosity.
凯西 Aw, Cathy--
如果这是你离世前唯一的遗憾 If this is the one thing you go to your grave without doing,
我不帮你完成还算什么朋友 I'm gonna feel like a shitheel for not offering.
你看 它们就在这 I mean, look, they're-- they're here.
-没错 -它们长在我身上 - Yup. - They're attached to me.
一分钱不用花 又不像那瓶红酒 They're free. I mean, unlike that bottle of wine.
所以行动吧 So come on.
我难得有次喝得醉醺醺任人上下其手 Look, I may never be this vulnerable and drunk again.
机不可失 Come on.
闭上眼睛 Close your eyes.
你好 塞万 欢迎回来 Hello, Seven. Welcome back.
见鬼 Shit.
不是塞万 斯万 Not Seven. Sven.
该死的中国人 Fuckin' chinese.
按一测量体重 Press one for your weight.
按二测量体重指数 Press two for your body mass index.
按三测量代谢年龄 Press three for your metabolic age.
根据现有信息 Based on current information,
您的代谢年龄是 Your metabolic age is...
六十七岁 67 years old.
搞什么 What the fuck?
按一测量 按二 按三测量 Press one for-- press two-- press three for--
您的代谢年龄是 Your metabolic age is
六十七岁 67 years old.
太谢谢你了 Thank you so much.
我真不敢想象没有卫生棉会怎么样 I don't want to think about what could've happened
要是没有你帮我 or what they would've said about me,
真不知他们会怎么讽刺我 if you weren't around to help me.
你干嘛要管他们怎么想 Why do you care what they think?
要我说 人人都是混蛋 If you ask me, people are assholes.
天啊 一语道破天机 God, that is so true.
你真睿智 You are so wise.
你就是我的小智囊 You are my wise man.
亚当·拉杜什 Adam Ledouche,
你是位绅士 you are a gentleman.
天啊 这首歌我超爱 Oh, my God, I love this song!
Roxette《It Must Have Been Love》
你穿的挺帅啊 刚去哪儿了 You look fancy, where have you been?
和波比一起 I was with Poppy.
去了宾馆 At a hotel.
你别急着发火 Okay, but before you go ballistic,
我就是陪她去高中同学会 it was just for her high school reunion.
也别急着为这发火 And before you go ballistic about that,
我感觉怪透了 it was totally weird.
就是我 波比 还有一群老头老太太 Just me, Poppy, and a bunch of old people.
你玩得开心吗 Did you have fun?
挺开心的 Um... Yeah.
算是吧 Yeah, I-- I kinda did.
你什么时候开始喝咖啡了 When did you start drinking coffee?
我今晚尝了一口 挺好喝的 I tried it tonight, and I liked it.
你还记不记得那个 Do you remember that little kid
以前住在我们家南面的小孩 who used to live down the block from us,
总咬自己的那个 that used to bite himself?
记得 叫西蒙 Oh. Yeah. Simon.
他为什么要那么做 Why did he do that?
我想他是太抑郁了 Well, I think he was pretty unhappy.
他的父母离婚了 他的狗被车撞死了 His parents got divorced. His dog got hit by that truck.
对一个小孩来说太残酷了 It's a lot for a kid to deal with.
但那都不是他的错 But none of those things were his fault.
我觉得 有时候人悲愤交加 I think sometimes when you're sad and angry,
又不想发泄到别人身上 and you don't want to take it out on someone,
就只能惩罚自己 you take it out on yourself.
真是操蛋 That's fucked up.
的确很操蛋 It is fucked up.
你好 塞万 欢迎回来 Hello, seven, welcome back.
保罗 你在干什么 Paul, what are you doing?
我就是 我就是换个地方 Well, I'm just, uh, I'm just trying this thing out
试试这玩意 它肯定是失灵了 on a different surface. I'm pretty sure it's busted.
按一测量 按二 按三测量 Press one for--press two-- press three for--
您的代谢年龄是 Your metabolic age is...
六十七岁 67 years old.
听到没 See?
它坚持说我老掉牙了 It keeps on turning me into a senior citizen.
来 你试试 Here, you try it.
你好 再见 欢迎回来 Hello, good-bye. Welcome back.
来 按右边那个按钮 Okay, press the button on the right.
根据现有信息 Based on current information,
您的代谢年龄是 your metabolic age is...
三十七岁 37 years old.
你看 Look at that!
我要死了 I'm dying.
-保罗 -不 这太疯狂了 - Paul-- - No, this is crazy.
我是四十五岁 我才四十五岁 I'm 45, I'm only 45 years old.
我得 我得改善一下体形 亲爱的 I--I gotta get in better shape, honey.
我得把踏车从车库里搬出来 I gotta get the treadmill out of the garage,
我得 我得把体重降回年轻体壮那会 I gotta get--I gotta get back to my fighting weight.
你知道吗 You know?
我减个几磅 And, I'm sure you wouldn't mind
你不会有意见的 对吧 if I lost a few pounds, right?
什么声音 What is that?
肖恩 你的门开了 Sean, your door's open!
肖恩 Sean--
胡闹的宝宝和操蛋的父母逼我远走高飞