歌手。 Singer.
受欢迎的。 Welcome.
晚上好。我想帮助我的兄弟阿尔法介绍今晚的先令震撼。 Good evening. I'm attempting to assist my brother Alpha in introducing this evening's shilling shocker.
它叫《看猴子跳舞》。 It is called See the Monkey Dance.
我以艺术和先知的名义所遭受的羞辱似乎没有尽头。 There seems to be no end of the humiliations which I suffer in the name of art and prophet.
看猴子舞。事实上，演艺界的缺点之一是，尽管有时可以让演员们受约束，但观众却相当难以管理。 See the Monkey Dance. Indeed, One of the disadvantages of show business is it, although it is sometimes possible to put the actors on strings, the audience is considerably more difficult to manage.
我们正在试验一种有限的控制方式，用一根绳子把它们绑在座位上。 We are experimenting with a limited type of control, using a single string and tieing them to their seats.
今晚的戏确实叫《看猴子舞》。 Tonight's play is indeed entitled See the Monkey Dance.
这是一个男人发现自己卷入了一场既不理解也无法逃脱的疯狂交易的故事。 It is the story of a man who finds himself involved in a mad trade which he neither understands nor can escape.
几分钟后就开始了。 It begins in a few moments.
歌手。歌手。我说，我们停多久? Singer. Singer. I say, how long are we stopping?
你的4分钟也是。谢谢你！ Your 4 min that's also. Thank you.
你好，小姐。我要找格伦。一，二，三，九，请。 Hello, MS. I'd like glen. One, two, three, nine, please.
是的。我很抱歉。谢谢你！你好。 Yes. I'm sorry. Thank you. Hello.
你好。是你吗?是的,宝贝。 Hello. Is that you? Yes, baby.
你一个人吗?是的，宝贝，我独自一人。 Are you alone? Yes, baby, I'm all alone.
你想说什么就说什么。 You can say what you want.
另一个会在周一回来数她的生日。 The other will be back until Monday to count them to her Lovely day.
一件容易的事。现在他们不在电话上做广告了。 Easy. Now they are not on the phone advertising.
我半小时后会到老地方。 I will be at the usual place in about half an hour.
达林一个人坐在这里。 Darling sits here, all by herself.
而且很棒，大房子里，连一只小手都没人牵，不在电话里，你说的太迟了我的爱我的爱哦，是的，是的，辛迪，整整两天资本到晚上。 And great, big house, with no one to even hold a tiny hand, not on the phone, you say the too later on 1 H My love 1 H Oh yes, yes, cindy, two whole days capital to evening.
典型的方式。所以你要读，你说什么? How typical. So you're going to read, I on beg your pardon?
你说什么?我说，你很清楚。 I beg your pardon? I said, as you well know.
所以你要去读书，是吗? So you are going to read, are you?
我正在考虑呢。是的。 I was thinking of it. Yes.
典型。典型。谈到。但是如果你不介意，如果你不介意，就在Q频道不，我不介意。 Typical. Typical. It comes. But if you don't mind, if you don't mind, right on Q No, I don't mind.
这可能是最好的结果。 It's probably all for the best.
典型。但是 Typical. But what
是如此的典型，如果我可以问一问的话? is so typical that if I may ask ask away?
好吧, Well,
好吧，如果我可以问的话，你说你有很多事要问我 well, a lot you were going to ask me something, you said, if I may ask
你就是典型的。这是典型的。 you, are typical. That's what is typical.
你到底是怎么知道的 Now, just exactly how do you know
我很典型吗?因为你所做的一切都是人们期望你做的。 that I am typical? Because everything you do is just what one would expect you to do.
好吧，那我就是个典型。 All right, then I am typical.
现在，这只是我们生活中又一件不得不忍受的小事，不是吗? Now, that is just one more little thing in life that we shall have to put up with, isn't it?
现在，如果它来了，如果你不介意，如果你不介意，如果你不介意贵族的认可，它曾经是一个可怕的阶级。 Now, if it comes, if you don't mind, if you don't mind, used to be frightfully up a class, if you don't mind aristocratic approbation.
如果你不介意的话，非常文雅。 Ever so genteel if you don't mind.
但实际上，现在我们的男孩变得不粗俗，我宁愿你不要用它。 But actually, now our boys become not the vulgar, and I'd rather you didn't use it.
如果你不介意的话。现在看这里。 If you don't mind. Now look here.
请你告诉我，你是否已经决定在到达下一站之前烦我，因为如果是这样的话，我还会努力看书的。 Will you please tell me if you have decided to annoy me until you reach the next station, because if so, I shall try to read at all.
我不是想惹你生气。 I'm not trying to annoy you.
那么让我这么说吧，你不费吹灰之力就成功了。 Then let me put it this way You have succeeded without trying.
我当然不觉得我很烦人，但你很烦人。 Well, I certainly didn't think I was annoying, but you were.
但不是现在，是吗?你想读点什么吗? But not now, am I? Would you like something to read?
还是你喝多了?我没醉，但你应该去看心理医生。 Or are you too drunk? I'm not drunk, but then you should see a psychologist.
我有东西要读。 And I have something to read.
谢谢你！好吧，那你为什么不需要呢? Thank you. All right, then why don't you need it then?
不管怎么说，你不必抱着那种态度，因为你这种人很容易成为粗鲁的陌生人。 Anyway, don't have to take that attitude, because it's typical of your kind to be rude strangers.
是吗?好吧?是的。你确定吗? Are you? All right? Yes. Are you sure?
对不起，我没理睬你。我真的不是那种人。 I'm sorry I ignored you. I'm really not like that.
请原谅我。哦，不，那太好了。 Please forgive me. Oh no, that's quite All right.
你看，我工作太努力了。 I work too hard, you see.
哦，这是现在常见的毛病，一旦压力消失，我就会变得像个男孩一样歇斯底里。 Oh, that's a common fault these days, where the pressure comes off, I have a tendency to go boyishly hysterical.
我明白了。我去看过心理学家，他们说这是对我这种工作的完全正常的反应。 I see. I've been to the psychologist, and they say it's a perfectly normal reaction to my sort of work.
我明白了，我非常抱歉。没关系。 I see I'm dreadfully sorry. That's quite all right.
我是物理学家。哦，真有趣。 I'm a physicist. Oh, how interesting.
恐怕，我只能说这么多了。 Afraid, that's all the ministry will allow me to say about it.
我自己也从事经纪业务。 I'm in the brokeage business myself.
我告诉你，这个城市，除了高压什么都没有。 The city, oh nothing but high pressure, I tell you.
我想这些天我自己是撑不住的，如果我在乡下没有地方住的话，我可以去格兰德林兰德罗附近。 I don't think I could stick it myself these days, if I didn't have a little place in the country, I could go to near landro Glandrin.
是的，真是巧合。我在格兰德林附近有个地方。 Yes, that's a coincidence. I have a place myself near Glandreen.
真的，是的。这只是一个迷人的小镇。 Really, it is. It's just a charming little town.
不，我说我在兰登附近有个地方。 Well, no, I said that I had a place near Landing.
实际上。这确实让我们显得很高贵，不是吗? Actually. That does make us out rather grand, doesn't it?
真的，你看，我有一辆大篷车。 Really, you see, well, I have a caravan.
我把车停在田野的边缘，在小镇的小山上。 I have it parked on the edge of the field, on the hill of the town.
一个车队吗?是的，你有一辆大篷车? A caravan? Yes, you have a caravan?
是的。那不是很好笑吗?嗯，我不经常用它，但我不明白有一辆大篷车有什么好笑的。 Yes. Isn't that a laugh? Well, I don't use it very often, but I don't see what there is that's so funny about having a caravan.
然而，不，不。事实上，我也有一辆大篷车。 However, no, no. The fact is, I have a caravan too.
哦，你知道的，是的，我对他们的看法模糊得就像乡间别墅不是免费的一样。 Oh, you know, yes, erring to them ever so vaguely as country houses weren't free.
嗯，人们总是在星期六穿上它。 Well, one does always put on it on Saturday.
好吧?我能在镇子那边的农场边上看到事件，就像你的农场一样。 Okay? I can events on the edge of a farm over the town, just like yours.
真的吗?是吗?真奇怪我们以前没见过面。 Really? Yes? Strange we haven't met before.
我以为我对这个地区很熟悉。 I thought I knew the area very well.
过去我所有的周末都在乡间散步。 I used to spend all my weekends walking all through the country.
我是说，我现在还是喜欢，除非我被绑起来了。 I mean, I still do, unless I'm tied up.
威廉姆斯。我叫达里·弗农你好，伙计。 Williams. My name's Dary farm Oh, hi, man.
威廉姆斯地产也是。是的。 Williams Property too. Williams Dairy Yes.
威廉姆斯。戴丽。很奇怪吧，我们还没见过面? Williams. Dary. Curious, isn't it, that we haven't seen one another?
告诉我，你把车停在哪了? Tell me, where are you parked?
完全正确。嗯，很难描述它的样子。 Exactly. Well, it's rather difficult to describe what looks.
我走出车站。 I go out of the station.
我径直穿过小镇，经过那里的酒吧。 I walked straight through the town, past the pub there.
我抄近路出城，走小路，穿过绳子上山，这就是你的意思。 I cut through the alleyway out of the town, and I take the foot path, pass the rope up the hill, is exactly what you mean.
我自己走那条路，然后沿着这条路走大约150英尺。 I go that way myself, and then I go down the road for about 150 ft.
那里有一扇门。现在，我的车就停在那扇门里面，在场地的角落里。 There's a gate. Now, I am parked right inside that gate in the corner of the field.
告诉我，我们狡猾的朋友威廉姆斯什么时候租的这辆大篷车，还是他没租给我? Tell me, when did our sly friend Williams rent this caravan, or he didn't rent it to me?
哦，不，不，至少是他的土地。 Oh no, no, at least the land from him.
大篷车是我的。我自己搬到了那里。 The caravan is mine. I moved there myself.
我把它放在那里好几年了。 I've had it there for years.
最好奇的?哦，不，我们最近。 Most curious? Oh no, we recently.
不能告诉你同一个地方。 Can't tell you about the same place.
不，我们不能。因为当威廉姆斯来到这里的时候，他答应过我 No, we can't. Because when Williams these that land to be, he promised me
他不允许任何人在那里停车。 that he would not allow anyone else to park there.
据我所知，三周前你也跟我说过同样的话。 Told me the same thing as far as I could see, three weeks ago.
他没有食言。我想我的租约上写着呢。 He hadn't broken his word. I believe it's in my lease.
我是说，他说，你说什么? I mean, he go, what did you say?
威廉斯农场只有一辆大篷车，那是我的，一辆绿色的大篷车。 There was only one caravan on Williams Farm, and that was mine, a green one.
帕克斯在你刚才描述的位置，你又在施咒了，是吗? Parks in the position you just described, your having another one of your spells, aren't you?
我想我们今晚要迟到了。 I believe we're going to be late this evening.
这列火车我坐了几百次了，我觉得一次也没有准点过。 The hundreds of times I've taken this train, I don't think its been on time once.
这也是你的经历吗?是的,没有。 Is that your experience too? Yes, no.
火车从不准点。 The train is never on time.
你不觉得我们应该谈谈吗? Look, don't you think we should talk about this?
我看不出有什么粗鲁的必要。 I don't see any necessity for rudeness.
这只是个小错误。 This just been a little mistake.
听着，我们不可能同时拥有一辆大篷车，对吧? Now, look, we can't possibly both of us own the same caravan, now, can we?
事实上，我认为这很有趣，请允许我说，我认为这是其中一件事，一旦我们把它弄清楚，如果它要成为一个非常非常有趣的故事，我相信整件事都可以用我的疯狂来解释。 Actually, I think it's very interesting for here, allow me, you know, I think it's one of those things, once we have it straightened out, if it's going to make a very, very funny story, I'm sure the whole thing is explainable by my madness.
你是说，哦，不，哦，不，不，不，不。 You mean, oh, no, oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
我可没那么说。但你觉得我疯了，对吧? I didn't say that. But you think I mad, don't you?
不，所以你假装拥有我的商队只是为了折磨我，是吗? No, so you pretended to own my caravan just to torment me, didn't you?
只是为了看猴子跳舞。 Just to see the monkey dance.
这只是个小错误。 It's just been a little mistake.
我没有弄错。我要去我的绿色大篷车，我们描述得非常准确，我打算在那里度过周末，在周围的乡村里休息和散步。 I have made no mistake. I am going to my green caravan, the position of which we described very accurately, and I am going to spend the weekend there, resting and taking walks in the surrounding country.
我希望我不应该被任何人打扰，因为这些远离工作的周末非常重要，不仅对我来说，而且在某种程度上，我相信，对保卫这个国家也很重要。 I hope I shouldn't be bothered by anyone, because these weekends away from my work are very important, not only to me, but in some small way, I believe, the defence of this nation.
我不想争论显而易见的加拿大，也没有争论。 I'm not going to argue about the obvious Canada, and there is no argument.
你的房车里有几张床? How many beds are there in your catavan?
我的大篷车有一个大乐队。 My caravan has one large band.
水槽是不锈钢的，水龙头是镀镍的，上面有H而不是海，虽然是冷水。 It's a permanent ben The sink is stainless, steel tap is nickel plated, and it has an H on it instead of a sea, even though it is cold water.
那是因为我去商店买的那天，是我唯一的一天。 That's because the day I went into the shop to get it, was the only one I had.
窗户上挂着黄色的窗帘。 There are yellow curtains on the window.
恐怕它们做得不太好，因为是我自己搭的。 I'm afraid they're not very well made, because I put them up myself.
我可以把窗帘挂上吗。 To may I put those curtains up.
这么说你进过我的商队，你这条臭蛇。 So you have been in my caravan, you rotten snake.
但你知道时间吗? But you know about the time?
你怎么知道神殿的事? How did you know about the temple?
这是Shoplet里的最后一个。 This was the last one in the Shoplet.
你不可能知道。你怎么知道的? You couldn't have known. How did you know that?
你在重复我说过的话。 Your repeating my own words back to me.
你疯了。你可以骗我。 You're crazy. You can fool me.
你真是个疯子。这就是你。 You're some kind of nut. That's what you are.
你相信只要能安慰你，那就是我的大篷车。 You believe that if it comforts you, that's my caravan.
我们在谈论我的大篷车。 We are talking about my caravan.
如果你不介意的话，我们看看今晚谁睡在那里。 We'll see who sleeps there tonight, if you don't mind.
不，如果你不知道，那就不典型。 No, if you don t, that isn't typical.
你说什么?我说，如果这不是典型的，典型的a级疯子，我不知道什么是典型的。 I beg your pardon? I said, if that isn't typical, typical of a grade A nut, I don't know what is.
如果你继续骚扰我，我就拉应急绳。 If you continue to annoy me, I shall pull the emergency cord.
惹恼你的钥匙。现在我有了孩子。 Annoy you the key. Now I have the kid.
现在告诉我，我能拿你房车的钥匙吗? Now Tell me, would I have the key to your caravan?
你怎么拿到钥匙的? How did you get that key?
我就知道你会这么说典型的你点了我的烟，还偷了我的口袋，你不是把钥匙给我了吗? Thought you would say that Typical When you lit my cigarette, you pick my pocket, didn't you give me that key?
你这个混蛋，你强迫我做那件事。 You swine that you forced me to do that.
你所做的。那是自卫，所以我别无选择。 You did. It was self defense, so there was nothing else I could do.
如果我伤害了你，我很抱歉，但你逼我回电。 Now, I'm sorry if I hurt you, but you forced me check me back.
我的钥匙。哦，看这里。你不觉得你已经走得够远了吗? My key. Oh, look, here. Don't you think you have carried this far enough?
现在，如果你再给我添麻烦，我就要去找警察了。 Now, if you give me any more trouble, I am going to go to the police.
是的，我相信他们很想知道你是如何排序名字的。 Yes, I'm sure they'd like to hear how you are sorting name.
那是自卫。不管怎样，我们拭目以待。 That was self defense. Anyway, we'll see.
你好,梦。好吧，你说呢? Hello, dream. OK, what you say?
我要去我的大篷车。 I am going to my caravan.
如果有任何麻烦，我就去找警察。 There is any trouble, I'm going to the police.
我知道我将会， I see I'm going to be,
你将成为歌手。歌手。我可以替你。 you will be Singer. Singer. I can take your part.
歌手。管理。歌手im MS。 Singer. Admin. Singer The im MS.
是的。我想要干净的一，二，三，九。 Yes. I would like clean One, two, three, nine, please.
我有急事。谢谢你！ I have a rather hurry. Thank you.
歌手。歌手。歌手。歌手。歌手。歌手。 Singer. Singer. Singer. Singer. Singer. Singer.
歌手。歌手。的歌手。走开，别来烦我。 Singer. Singer. The singers. Go away and leave me alone.
你在干什么?他疯了。 What are you doing? He's out of his mind.
你把我的土地清理干净。这是我的地盘，我的大篷车，如果你不离开，我就要叫警察了。 You clear off my land. This is my field and my caravan, and if you don't clear off, I'm going to call the police.
你为什么要挖那个洞? What are you digging that hole for?
我挖这个坑是为了你，乔治，是为了我自己。 I'm digging this hole for you, george, for me.
我可以再拿一个给你女朋友，但我还没拿定主意。 I may take another for your girlfriend, but I haven't made up my mind about that yet.
什么女朋友?她一会儿就来。 What girlfriend? She'll be along in a little while.
你的女朋友，但我没有女朋友。 Your girlfriend, but I haven't got a girlfriend.
是吗?别再生气了哦，美好的日子来数。 Are you? Stop raising mad to Oh, lovely days to count them.
好吧，那我确实有女朋友了。 Oh, all right, then I do have a girlfriend.
关你什么事? What business is that of yours?
哦，哦，我想我不能带我女朋友进你的大篷车。 Oh, oh, I suppose that I must not bring my girlfriend into your caravan.
就是这样吗？这不是我的大篷车。 Is that it? It isn't my caravan.
我只是在骗你。我不知道那是什么。 I was just fooling you. I didn't know what it was.
我想确保你能领导 I wanted to make sure you would lead
我去吧。 me to it.
你是谁?带客人? Who are you? Take a guest?
乔治，她的丈夫。 George her husband.
真倒霉。听着，老头。 What rotten luck. Now, look here, old man.
我不会对你撒谎的。 I am not going to try and lie to you.
这很好。这只是其中的一件事，我对它的发生感到非常抱歉。 That's good. It was simply one of those things, and I'm awfully sorry that it had to happen.
我要杀了你，乔治不久之后。 I'm going to kill you, george shortly after.
等她来了，我可能也会杀了她，但我还没拿定主意。 When she arrives, I may kill her as well, but I haven't made up my mind about that yet.
你待会想喝点什么吗? Would you like a drink later on?
事实上，我宁愿你不要再往前走了。 Actually, I'd rather you didn't come any further than that.
为什么?因为你跑得比我快。 Why? Because you can run faster than I can.
我不想让你像上一个一样逃掉。 And I don't want you to get away, as the last one did.
看这里，箱子里有把枪，如果你走出门口，我就用它。 See here, there's a gun in this case, I'll use it if you step out of that doorway.
噢,看。现在，我们当然可以讨论这个了。 Oh, look. Now, surely we can talk about this.
我们没有什么共同之处。 Not really one thing we have in common.
我是说，我们的女人，乔治，对你来说是快乐，对我来说是痛苦。 I mean, our woman, george, is a joy to you and agony to me.
快乐能说些什么让痛苦明白呢? What can joy possibly say that agony will understand?
我不知道你对你妻子有这种感觉。 I didn't know you felt that way about your wife.
真的，我没有。这是一个人能说的全部。 Really, I didn't. It's about all one can say.
当然，如果我们有时间互相了解，我们可能会成为朋友，但不是真正的好朋友。 Course, if we had time to know one another, we might become friends, not really good friends.
我觉得你有点自负。 I find you a bit pompous.
当然是最好的熟人。当我看到这里的时候，我认为我们成为朋友一点也不晚。 Certainly the best of acquaintances. When I see here, I don't think it's too late at all for us to become friends.
不，不，不。这是真的。 No, no, no, no. It's true.
我确实有帮宝适街。 Oh, I do have a Pamper Street.
这是我的事。所以我很高兴你提到了这一点。 It's my business. So I am so glad that you mentioned it.
我的大多数朋友，他们他们从来不会告诉我这件事。 Most of my friends, they they would never bring it to my attention.
每个人都应该知道这些事情。 And one should know these things.
一个人应该有一个能告诉他这些事情的朋友。 One should have a friend who will tell him these things.
我希望你能勇敢一点。 I do wish you try to be brave.
当然，我能理解你的焦虑，但她马上就来，一切都结束了。 Course, I can understand your anxiety, but she'll be along in a minute and it'll all be over.
你的钱花得不错。 Had a good run for your money.
现在该付钱了。她对你好吗? Now it's time to pay. Is she nice to you?
顺便说一句，如果你爱你的妻子，你怎么能这样问我? By the way, if you love your wife, how can you possibly ask me that?
因为我爱她，我可以问我活在这小小的眼睛里，我无法忍受痛苦和痛苦，乔治。 Because I love her, that I can ask I live in the eye this little had I couldn't of misery and anguish, george.
我这么问是因为她对待她的前男友非常可恶，就像对待脚下的动物一样。 I only asked because she treated her last boyfriend most abominably, some sort of animal death under her feet.
我自己也为他感到难过。 I felt sorry for him myself.
哦，你是。你不知道还有其他人。 Oh, you are. You didn't know there'd be others.
我很抱歉。我应该更温柔地打破它。 I'm sorry. I should have broken it to more gently.
现在看来，男友比丈夫更难发现这一点，真的。 It's come to think of it harder for a boyfriend to find that out than a husband, really.
成为一封信牵涉到太多的自我。 There's so much ego involved in being a letter.
丈夫不需要再拉任何东西了。 Husband doesn't have to go on pulling anything.
这是他是个很好的女孩，一个女人。 Here's he's quite a girl, a woman.
但我决定必须停止。 But I decided it had to stop.
于是我就动手杀死最后一只，要不是遇上了一股不幸的潮流，我肯定会杀了它的。 So I set out to kill the last one, and I certainly would have but for an unfortunate currents what happened.
不要指望它会再次发生。 Don't hope it will happen again.
我练习过用枪。 I have practiced using the gun.
我没打中他的腿。 I missed hit him in the leg.
讽刺的是，我知道他今天跛了，就像我一样。 Ironic, because I understand he's got a limp today, just like mine.
总之，他跑了，我让我们的女人来安抚我。 Anyway, he ran off, and I allowed our woman to pacify me.
是个错误吗?哦，哦，不，不，不。 Was a mistake? Oh, oh no, no, no.
我不知道。不，你没觉得好点吗? I don't know. No, didn't you feel better after?
我是说，在你冷静下来之后? I mean, after you calm down?
是的，但一切又重新开始了。 Yes, but then it all began again.
乔治，生活中没有什么是通过冷静下来而真正治愈的。 Nothing in life is have a really cure George, by calming down.
我必须使心中的火旺起来。 I must keep one's fire in the belly going stoke it up.
把一天的活动推向高潮。 Push the day s action for climax.
我不能再喝几杯了。 I don't have a few more drinks.
不，他抖着身子出去了。 No, he's going out with the shakes.
她对你怎么样，乔治? How did she treat you, george?
我想我很好。 So I'm very well, I suppose.
我不知道。不知道。不，谈论她会让你尴尬吗? I don't know. Don't know. No, does it embarrass you to talk about her?
是的，我想是的。不可能。 Yes, I-I suppose it does. No way.
是的。青春似乎是时髦的。 Yes. Youth seems to be fashionable.
现在的年轻人越来越年轻了。 Youth getting younger and younger these days.
有了她，你就不那么有诗情画意了。 You weren't as much of a poetic plane with her way on all tickle and slap with it.
我真的不太了解女人。 I don't know very much about women, really.
不，我们想嫁给男人。 No, we want to marry men.
不，不，这很好。这样对我来说就容易多了。 No, no, that's good. That makes it much easier for me.
加油！加油 Come on, come on.
转身。 Turn around.
我想听她说你的名字。 I want to hear her say your name.
这就是信号。 That's a going to be the signal.
她说， And she says,
乔治, george,
你正在被 you are being
皮疹。如果我们能谈谈你的手看起来有多可笑，那就会发生在你的生活中。 rash. If we could only talk about what your hands look ridiculous, it'll be on our side of your lives.
这也会让我们觉得你是个勇敢的孩子。 It might as well make us think you were a brave boy.
我 I
我不这么认为。这里她很快，但没那么快。 didn't think it was. Here she's fast, but not that fast.
你有一段时间是这么做的。 Here you did for a while.
把注意力集中在事情上。我在那里很开心。 Keep your mind on things. Me happy there.
继续。好吧，狄格哦，你感觉好多了，不是吗? Go on. Well, dig Oh, you're feeling better already, aren't you?
如果天堂里有上帝，他们会争论。 If there is a god in heaven, they will argue.
是的。我完全相信他们会的。 Yes. I fully expect they will.
除非我能减轻责任，减轻工作压力等等。 Unless I can establish a diminished responsibility, pressure of work and all that.
事实上，我还挺期待的。 Actually, I'm rather looking forward to it.
你看，乔治，我已经放弃了。 You see, george, I've given up.
我喜欢你。我需要这个女人一直陪着我。 I like you. I need this woman on a very permanent basis.
我只有和她在一起时才感到自在。 I only feel at ease when I'm with her.
当她在我身边时，我的大脑停止工作，路上的门关上了，一切都很好，我就像在家里一样。 When she's beside me, my mind stops working, the door closes on the road, and all is well, and I'm at home.
我想她就是我的家。 I suppose she is my home.
你能理解吗?我对我母亲也有这种感觉? Can you understand? I felt that way with my mother?
是的。解释一下你为什么没有结婚。 Yes. Explain why you were never married.
现在，我们肯定能达成某种协议。 Now, surely we can come to some sort of agreement.
杀了我有什么用? What good is it going to do to kill me?
什么不是好事? What isn't a matter of good?
事实上，杀了我并不会让你妻子变得更好。 Actually, killing me is not going to make your wife a better woman.
我真希望你多做点事，少说话不会让她更爱你。 I do wish you did more, and talk less isn't going to make her love you more.
你让我很为难。 You're making it very difficult for me.
我不想开始同情你。 I don't want to start feeling sympathy for you.
我不应该为此而死。 I don't deserve to die for this end.
你知道吗?看，今天不一样了。 You know it? Oh look, it's not the same today.
一百年前，是的，那时他们认为女人是一种附属物。 Hundred years ago, yes, then they thought of a woman as a sort of possession.
不，像你的马。如果有人偷了你的妻子或你的马，你会开枪打死他。 No, like your horse. If a man stole your wife or your horse, you shot him.
但现在不是了。不，我们我们不再那样做了。 But not anymore. No, we we don't do that anymore.
今天，男人不认识妻子，更有可能的是，妻子拥有了他。 Today, man doesn't know the wife today, more likely, the wife owns him.
继续挖掘。我下定决心了。 Keep digging. I made up my mind.
这次什么也改变不了我的主意了。 Nothing is going to change my mind this time.
什么都没有。原谅自己。正义不是任何正义。 Nothing. Forgive yourself. Justice is not any justice.
每个模型都在里面。我能看着你的时候，你就来来回回。 Every model right inside. Get here and there when I can keep an eye on you.
我是门。我似乎已经到了山穷水尽的地步，但我还有很长的路要走。 I was the door. I would seem to be at the end of my rope, but I still have a long way to go.
我们的下半部分将跟随你们友好的邻居电视台的公告。 Our 2nd half follows this announcement from your friendly neighborhood television station.
这就好了非常好。夜晚的空气对人的大脑有多么柔和的作用啊。 That's better Extraordinary. What a softening effect the evening air has up on a man's brain.
我都快开始虚弱了。 I was almost beginning to weaken out there.
我得说，你在这里看起来一点也不值得，又害怕又出汗。 You don't look nearly as deserving in here, I must say, all scared and sweaty.
你怎么能忍受得了?是的，我想我可以在这里射杀你而不会感到太悲伤。 How could you bear you? Yes, I think I could shoot you in here without feeling too much grief.
绝对没有必要粗鲁。 There is absolutely no necessity for being rude.
你自己也说过没有私人恩怨。 You yourself said there was nothing personal.
我恰好坐在这里，纯粹是命运的巧合。 It's purely an accident of fate that I happen to be sitting here.
如果她像你说的那么洒脱，她很可能是另外一个人。 If she was as free and easy as you say, could easily have been somebody else.
闭嘴。我是说真的。我对自己的长相不负责。 Shut up. I mean that. I am not responsible for the way I look.
我没有设计我自己。不要担心，也不要担心要做一些改变。 I did not design myself. Don't worry or about to undergo some alterations.
给我留一滴。待会我可能会想喝个烂醉。 Save a drop for me. I may want to get drunk later on.
这么说你承认了。 Oh, oh, so you admit it.
你根本就不想这么做吗? You don't want to go through with this at all?
不，但我要去。 No, but I'm going to.
你怎么知道的?我在那列火车上? How did you know that? I was on that train?
我知道整个周末。 I know about the whole weekend.
一个 A
侦探。你有她的线索，只是我没告诉你，所以她肯定有。 detective. You had her trail, just, I didn't tell you, so she must have.
恰恰相反，你确实说了 On the contrary, you did tell
我。你把整个计划都告诉我了。 me. You gave me the whole plan.
你知道她的习惯 You know that habit she has
把裙子的上摆收起来? of tucking the top of her dress?
是的，用过纸巾，大多是令人恼火的习惯。 Yes, used tissues, mostly infuriating habit.
你的信寄到的时候，她就是在那里碰的。 Well, that's where she touched your letter when it arrived.
我从来没有给她写过信。 Letter What had I never wrote her a letter.
然后她开始学园艺，结果出乎意料，因为她在这方面很有天赋。 Then she went how to do some gardening, and it fell out surprising, because she's rather well endowed in that respect.
不管怎样，第二天我在堆肥上发现了那封信。 Anyway, I found the letter the next day lying on the compost.
便宜，亲爱的宝贝。但我从来没有给她写过信。 Cheap, dear darling baby. But I never wrote her a letter.
你以为我是傻瓜吗? Do you think I'm a fool?
之前跟我说你没有女朋友? Told me earlier you didn't have a girlfriend?
是的，但我从来没有给她写过信。 Yes, but I never wrote her a letter.
他一定是把她的车落在镇上了。 He must have left her car in the town.
打开门。一定是搞错了。 Open the door. There must be a mistake.
打开门看看你。 Open the door to see you.
我想听听她的信。 I want to hear her letters.
你死。请。请。我父亲看到了你的光芒。 You die. Please. Please. My father saw your light.
看你。我买了你的牛奶。 Look you. I got your milk.
乔治先生，谢谢你。在那个小女孩面前。 Mr George, thank you. Front of that little girl.
我知道一件可怕的事。我从未写信告诉她我会影响她的一生。 I know a horrible thing. I never wrote her that I would have affected her whole life.
我这辈子都没给她写过信。 I never wrote her a letter In my whole life.
我是无辜的。如何停止装模作样? I am innocent. How to stop bumbling?
你不是无辜的。承认。你是有罪的。 You're not innocent. Admit is. You're guilty.
即使你不反抗，你还是有罪的，不是吗? Even if you didn't fight that, that you'll still guilty, aren't you?
是的，但我是。不管怎样，别想摆平这件事了。 Yes, but I am. Stop trying to square out of it anyway.
我不相信你。你一定要相信我。 I don't believe you. You've got to believe me.
是的，在这里。你。我写了那封信。 Yeah, there it is. You. And I wrote that letter.
哦，这就是我为什么不写的原因。 Oh, that's how I didn't write that.
那不是我的笔迹。不是的，亲爱的，自从上次我们的嘴唇碰触之后，我就非常非常地想念你。 That that's not my handwriting. It's not, dear darling, I have missed you so dreadfully, dreadfully since last our lips touched.
但是宝宝千万不要想这些，否则他会变得太兴奋了，以至于整晚都不想给他的宝贝写信。 But baby must not think of that, or he will become too excited to write his darling a letter all night Baby has been awake.
这听起来像我吗?而且我承认你看起来不像这种人。 Does that sound like me? And I confess you don't look the type to right river like this.
但是没有人知道。有很多这样的记录。 But then no man does. And there's a lot of it written.
等一下，再读一遍，想知道他的宝贝和她的小自己整天都在做什么。 Wait a minute, yet, read that again, wondering what his darling has been doing with her little self all day.
如果那可怕的奥嘎，奥嘎，奥嘎，奥嘎，奥嘎，看，那房子就像她一样。 And if the dreadful Oga, oga, oga, oka, look, that's house like her.
这就是她写作的方式。 That that's the way she writes.
别傻了。哦，你应该写封信，签上你的名字，然后不辞辛苦地自己寄出去，让我去找。 Don't be ridiculous. Oh, should write a letter, sign your name to it, and then go to all the trouble of mailings yourself and having me find it tips out.
不。现在，你看这个。 No. Now, look, you look at this.
看，这是我的笔迹。看，你在掩饰你的笔迹。 Now, look, that's my handwriting. Look, you disguise your writing.
哦，我知道。我知道你会找到它吗? Oh, I know. Did I know that you were going to find it?
不，不，那是真的。你好。哦,不。 No, no, that's true. Hello. Oh, no.
她知道你想杀我。 She knew you tried to kill me.
她一定恨你。不过不要为我感到难过。 She must hate you. Don't feel sorry for me though.
她不恨我。她对我没有感觉。 She doesn't hate me. She doesn't feel anything for me.
我只是一个，周末消遣的人。 I am merely a, um, a diversion for the weekend.
这是你的。她在追我。如果你杀了我，你会被绞死的。 It's you. She's after me. You'd hang if you killed me.
哦，这样很聪明。她会甩掉我们俩的。 Oh, it's clever that way. She would be rid of both of us.
不,不。她是无聊的。她总是很无聊。 No, no. She's bored. She's always bored.
对她来说，我不过是窗玻璃上的一只苍蝇。 Oh, I don't mean any more to her than a fly on a window pane.
她没那么聪明。她就是不聪明，不是吗? She isn't that clever. She just isn't clever, isn't she?
就是上次我和那个可怜的家伙在湖里开枪的时候。 It was the same last time that other poor devil and I shot in the lake.
那是一封信。后来我也找到了一封信。 It was a letter. Then I found a letter that time too.
为什么我当时没看出来? Why didn't I see it then?
我不知道。之前他想杀我，而这一切，上次就该发生。 I don't know. Tried to kill me before, and the whole thing, it was supposed to happen last time.
我不是那种想杀的人。 I'm not the kind of a fellow that one tries to kill.
想想我曾经 To think I've been
一直和一个杀人犯住在一起。 living with a murderous all this time.
改变。改变 Change. Change
全世界都知道有人想要你死。 with the whole world, knowing that somebody wants you dead.
为什么?她差点杀了我 Why? She could have killed me
只要她愿意。一想到她我就害怕。 anytime she wants. The thought of her frightens me.
现在她确实吓到我了。她在毒害我。 Now she does frighten me. She's poison me.
我最近感觉不太舒服。 I haven't felt very well lately.
你知道的, You know,
我觉得我这辈子都不能再信任别的女人了。 I don't think that I will ever be able to trust another woman as long as I live.
应该马上就到?是吗?是的。 Should be any minute? Yes? Yes.
只是，我们该怎么办? Just, what are we going to do?
如果她发现我们知道了，她会怎么做? What is she going to do when she finds out that we know is, what is she going to do?
好吧，我在领导。噢,是的。我根本不想见她。 Well, I'm leading. Oh yeah. I-I don't even want to see her.
是的，你最好也一起来。 Yes, and you better come along too.
她什么事都干得出来。 You know, she's capable of anything.
她是个怪物。不，不，不。 She's a monster. No, no, no.
我不会离开她的。怎么啦？我永远不会离开她。 I'm not leaving her. What? I'll never leave her.
不能让她知道我们投票退出了。 And she mustn't find out when we voted out.
答应我，你不会告诉她，好吗? Promise me, you won't tell her, please?
为什么?因为如果她知道我们成功了，她就会离开我。 Why? Because if she knew it worked it out, she'd have to leave me.
答应我你不会告诉她。好吧，你不能和她住在一起。 Promise you won't tell her. Well, all right, you can't live with her.
她想让你去。我从不离开她。 She wants you there. I never leave her.
但她已经试过两次了。 But she's tried to give you twice already.
但我不介意，真的。 But I don't mind that, really.
你看，测量热量，热量是爱的一种形式，你知道吗? You see, measuring heating, and the heating is a form of loving, you know?
只要她还活着，我就不会离开她。 Oh, I As long as she's alive, I never leave her.
好了，我走了。如果她死了，我也许能过得很开心，然后我就能忘记你是怎么看的。 Well, I'm off. I uh, I might be able to live quite happily if she were dead, and then I could forget how you see.
好吧，你离开的时候记得关门。 Well, um, be sure to close the door when you leave.
乔治，晚上的事我很抱歉。很抱歉把你卷进来了。 George, I'm sorry about night. I'm sorry you're involved.
没关系。如果他真的杀了我，你当然会再次被牵扯进来，我会提前向你道歉。 That's quite all right. Which he does kill me, of course you will be involved again, and I'll apologize for that in advance.
你说我会再次参与是什么意思? How do you mean I will be involved again?
你的男朋友，你是有作案动机的人我怀疑你。 Well, your boyfriend, you're the man with the motive pound suspect you.
以我对她的了解，她会尽力让人觉得你是有罪的。 If I know her, she'll do her best to make it look as though you're the guilty one.
恐怕她会的。所以我很抱歉。 She will, I'm afraid. So I'm sorry.
我们要做什么? What are we going to do?
我不知道。这件事必须弄清楚。 I don't know. This must be straightened out.
我必须摆脱这一团乱麻。 I simply must get out of this mess.
我是一个可敬的人。我们可以杀了她。 I am a respectable man. We could kill her.
我不是杀人犯。我经常想这件事。 I am not a murderer. I've often thought about it.
如果你和我一起帮忙，我也许还有勇气这么做。 I might have a nerve to do it if you were with me to help.
这样，我们都自由了。 That way, we both be free.
那样的话，我们俩都会在监狱里等着被绞死。 That way, we would both be in jail waiting to be hanged.
不,不。还有另一种方法。我跟你说过，我已经仔细考虑过了。 No, no. There's another way. As I told you, I've given it a good deal of thought.
你知道通往镇上的那座陡峭的山吗? You know that steep hill leading down into the town?
这条路风很大，很棘手，不是吗? It's a very windy and tricky road, isn't it?
是的，这就是我们的解决方案，非常聪明，对吧? Yeah, that's our solution of very clever, right?
歌手歌手，有人知道吗?你好,乔治。乔治，你好，我亲爱的朋友。 Singer singer, anybody? Hello, george. George, hello, my dear friend.
威尔告诉我你在这里做什么? Will tell me what are you doing here?
乔治在哪儿?乔治走了。 Where is George? George has gone.
你说没了是什么意思?我对他粗暴了一下，他决定谨慎而不是对你的热情，亲爱的。 What you mean is gone? I had roughed him up a bit, and he decided the discretion outweighed his passion for you, my dear.
他逃跑了。你在开玩笑吧?你连条毯子都包不起来你恐吓我你以前叫我宝贝。 He fled. Were you kidding? You couldn't wrap up a blanket You cowed You used to call me baby.
你要去哪里?乔治?乔治，叫他也没用，亲爱的。 Where do you go? George? George, it's no use calling him, my dear.
他走了。我们聊了一会儿，他就走了。 He's gone. We had a little talk, and he left.
你让他和我反目成仇。我要杀了 You turned him against me. I'll kill
你。我解释一下我的立场。他同意我有优先权利既然你亲爱的丈夫不常出门，我和乔治就你的周末问题达成了完全一致的意见。 you. I-I-I explain my position. And he agreed that I had just prior rights to Since your dear husband doesn't go away so often, george and I have come to a complete agreement about your weekends.
你疯了吗? Are you mad?
我非常想和你握手。 I want so much to shake hands with you.
如果我戴着橡胶手套，你为什么要告诉他? If I were wearing rubber gloves, why did you tell him?
我告诉他我爱你，这是真的。 I told him I love you, which is true.
离我远点。请不要走。 Get away from me. Please don't go.
待一会儿，你的叔叔。 Stay just a little bit your uncle.
早....你在警告我。你再胡闹，我就让我丈夫把国王插进你另一条腿。 Morning. You are warning me. Anymore nonsense from you, and I'll have my husband put a king in your other leg.
除了那个流浪汉什么都没有。上流社会的流浪汉。 Nothing but that tramp. The high class tramp.
继续，继续。我是主席。 Go on and go on. I am chair.
谢谢你的高品位。 Thank you for the high class.
我要去车站接乔治，如果我回来时你还在这里，我很遗憾。 I'm going to the station to pick up George, if you're here when I get back, I pity.
歌手。哦,歌手。贾斯汀比伯。歌手。 Singer. Oh, singer. Justin Bieber. Singer.
所以我们要谈谈她想杀我们的事。 So we're going to talk about she tried to kill us.
她想杀了我们俩。 She tried to kill both of us.
我不应该报警吗? Well, shouldn't I call the police?
是的，他们应该很快就到。 Yes, they should be up here shortly.
他们会知道我听到了撞击声，他们肯定很快就会在城里听到这个消息。 They will know that I have heard the crash, and they most certainly will have heard about it down in the town very long soon enough.
是的。我们该怎么办?好吧，如果我是你，我会跑到拐弯处，对尸体说点担心。 Yes. What should we do? Well, if I were you, I'd run down to the curve and told a little concern over the corpse.
他们认出了她的车。大家都知道她是你的女朋友，对吧? They recognize her car. People know she was your girlfriend, don't they?
好的，好的，我马上过去。 Oh, yes, yes, I'll go down there right away.
你来干什么?我不应该在这里。 What are you coming? I'm not supposed to be here.
哦，当然，乔治，那这个坟墓呢? Oh, of course, george, what about this grave here?
很可疑，不是吗?报警? Rather suspicious, isn't it? To the police?
我是说，天啊。但是我怎样才能及时填补这个空缺呢? I mean, oh, good heavens. But how am I, how am I going to be able to fill that ill in time?
我做不到。我怎样才能更好地解释它? I won't be able to. How am I going to be able to explain it better?
想想吧，我的小姑娘。 Think of something my little girl.
所以我没有她哦，是的，威廉姆斯一家。 So I didn't she Oh yes, the Williams.
天啊，我忘了。这看起来肯定很可疑。 God, I forgot. It's certainly going to look very suspicious.
好了，我要回家了。不，现在，等一下。 Well, I'm going home. Well, no, now, wait a minute.
你也有份。是坏的。 You're in on this too. Be bad.
如果有人看见我得到了你的乔治? If I were seen about got a thy George?
哦,是的。听着，你得帮我。 Oh, yes. Now, look, you have to help me.
我不能一个人做所有的事情。 I simply cannot do everything alone.
谢谢。我是说，除非你帮我，否则警察会查出发生的一切。 Thanks. I mean, unless you do help me, the police will be able to figure out everything that happened.
是的。你最好扔掉那个翼螺母和锤子，铅会在风中脱落，你知道，这不是很危险的证据，顺便说一下，你可能会把手上的汽车润滑油弄掉。 Yes. Well, you'd better get rid of that wing nut and the hammer, the lead will have come off on the wind, not, you know, very dangerous bit of evidence that, by the way, you might get that car grease off your hands.
这是非常明显的。别忘了留下指纹。 It's very noticeable. And don't forget your fingerprints.
听着，听着，除非你帮我，否则我就告诉警察是她丈夫帮我的。 Listen, look, unless you help me, I am going to tell the police that it was her husband to help me.
现在你成了从犯。是吗? Now you are an accessory. Yes?
你愿意吗，乔治，你愿意。 Will you do that, george, you do that.
你告诉他们她丈夫帮了你。 You tell them her husband gave you a hand.
你是谁?你不是她丈夫。 Who are you? You're not her husband.
我说过我是吗?我不记得了。 Did I say I was? I don't remember that.
真的。你最好快点。等一下。 Really. You'd better hurry. Wait one moment.
你说你以前从没来过这里。 You said you had never been here before.
再见,乔治, Goodbye, george,
那是个好人。我要告诉他们发生了什么。 that's a good fellow. I'm going to tell them what happened.
我要告诉他们发生的一切。 I'm going to tell them everything that happened.
我要把事情原原本本地告诉他们。 I'm going to tell them exactly what happened.
我从没想过歌手是这个人。 Singer I never think was this man.
我在火车上遇见了他。 I met him on the train.
有一个人，我在火车上见过他。 There was this man, you see, I did meet him on the train.
乔治不是唯一一个失败的人。 George was not the only one to go down to defeat.
当局坚持要把那个陌生人和他一起送进监狱。 The authorities insisted that the stranger go with him to prison.
他们对付犯罪已经够麻烦的了，只是不想拆散一个失败的团队。 They have enough trouble coping with crime as it is, and just didn't want to break up a losing team.
今晚阿尔弗雷德兄弟荒诞派剧院的这一集就到此结束了。 That concludes tonight's episode in Brother alfred's own Theatre of the Absurd.
如果他下次回来的话，他计划在他下次回来的时候表演更多的滑稽表演。 He plans to present some more buffoonry when he returns next time, if he return.
歌手。歌手的歌手。歌手。 Singer. Singer Singer. Singer.