1 00:00:24,989 --> 00:00:29,050 [music plays] 2 00:00:35,838 --> 00:00:38,557 - [giggling, cooing] - There. That's better. 3 00:00:38,654 --> 00:00:40,797 - [# Seals & Croft: Summer Breeze] - [laughing] 4 00:00:40,894 --> 00:00:44,445 - # Summer breeze # - All clean. 5 00:00:44,542 --> 00:00:46,238 - [giggling] - # Make me feel fine # 6 00:00:46,333 --> 00:00:51,102 - # Blowing through the jasmine in my mind # - [sighs] 7 00:00:51,199 --> 00:00:52,928 # He sees you when you're sleepin' # 8 00:00:53,025 --> 00:00:55,871 - # He knows when you're awake # - What are you doing here? 9 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:59,260 - What are you talking about? - I'm talkin' about Santa Claus! 10 00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:02,558 There's only 159 days left till Christmas, so you better be good. 11 00:01:02,654 --> 00:01:06,591 I'd better be good? How 'bout this? You better be scarce. Now go on. 12 00:01:06,689 --> 00:01:08,544 I don't care about Christmas. 13 00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:16,255 - # Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way # - Ah! 14 00:01:16,352 --> 00:01:18,206 - Donkey! - 51 days left till Christmas. 15 00:01:18,304 --> 00:01:20,642 Get your green butt in gear and go get your marshmallows, 16 00:01:20,739 --> 00:01:23,906 because without marshmallows, sweet potatoes are nothin'! 17 00:01:24,003 --> 00:01:27,712 Aggh! Enough! I don't care about any of this nonsense. 18 00:01:27,809 --> 00:01:31,583 - Now shoo! - OK, OK. But don't say I didn't say I told you so. 19 00:01:33,953 --> 00:01:35,519 [sighs] 20 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,442 - # Smashing through the snow # - Ah! 21 00:01:37,539 --> 00:01:39,521 - # And laughin' all the way # Ha-ha-ha! - [sighs] 22 00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:42,818 It's finally here. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! You got everything ready? 23 00:01:42,916 --> 00:01:44,673 - [Shrek] No. - Trimmed stockin's 24 00:01:44,736 --> 00:01:46,719 - or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree? - No! 25 00:01:46,814 --> 00:01:48,801 - Or figgified your puddin'? - Donkey! 26 00:01:48,867 --> 00:01:50,656 Will you get it through your thick head? 27 00:01:50,752 --> 00:01:53,986 No one here gives a hoot about Christmas! 28 00:01:54,084 --> 00:01:56,930 A white Christmas! Oh, how perfect. 29 00:01:57,027 --> 00:02:00,449 And it's our first one together as a family. Isn't this exciting? 30 00:02:00,545 --> 00:02:03,134 Uh, oh, yeah! How 'bout that? 31 00:02:03,232 --> 00:02:04,960 There's somethin' Shrek needs to tell you. 32 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,327 Don't ruin the surprise for her, Donkey. 33 00:02:07,423 --> 00:02:10,209 Surprise? Oh, I love surprises! 34 00:02:10,307 --> 00:02:13,314 You're the best. Come on, let's go make some cookies. 35 00:02:13,412 --> 00:02:14,562 [door closes] 36 00:02:14,659 --> 00:02:16,450 OK, you a dead man. You know that, right? 37 00:02:16,547 --> 00:02:19,042 Um, hold that thought. I'll be right back. 38 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,338 [# Carl Orff: Carmina Burana] 39 00:02:39,335 --> 00:02:42,309 - [ringing] - Oh, good, you're still open. 40 00:02:42,406 --> 00:02:45,094 No, no, uh, we're closing now. Merry Christmas. 41 00:02:45,188 --> 00:02:48,326 Wait, wait, wait! I need your help. I have to make a Christmas, 42 00:02:48,421 --> 00:02:50,949 and I have no idea what it is or how to do it! 43 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,124 Why didn't you say so? That's super. 44 00:02:53,221 --> 00:02:55,750 I know all about Christmas, and I have just the book for you. 45 00:02:55,847 --> 00:02:58,791 Christmas for Village Idiots. It's all spelled out. See? 46 00:02:58,856 --> 00:03:01,254 One: decorate house. Two: the stockings by the fireplace. 47 00:03:01,351 --> 00:03:03,430 Step three: the Christmas feast. Mmmm! 48 00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:06,340 - What's that? - Step four? That's the Christmas tree! 49 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,357 The tree goes inside the house? 50 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,889 Anyway, step five: 51 00:03:10,986 --> 00:03:12,456 The telling of the Christmas story. 52 00:03:12,553 --> 00:03:14,986 This is the step that says I created the perfect Christmas 53 00:03:15,082 --> 00:03:17,608 for my perfect family perfectly. See? Family by the fire, 54 00:03:17,704 --> 00:03:19,910 everyone cozy and warm. Happy, happy. Voila! 55 00:03:20,008 --> 00:03:22,118 - Um, sure. - Look, long story short, 56 00:03:22,184 --> 00:03:24,231 it's all right here. It's no problem. 57 00:03:24,328 --> 00:03:26,213 - Oh, perfect. - I mean, how hard can it be? 58 00:03:26,279 --> 00:03:28,171 - [shouting] - I didn't get the eggnog! 59 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:30,153 - Closed?! What do you mean? - We're closed. 60 00:03:30,218 --> 00:03:32,425 - Dwight the Knight action figure? - Marshmallows! 61 00:03:32,522 --> 00:03:35,208 - Sweet potatoes are nothing without marshmallows! - Bye-bye. 62 00:03:35,305 --> 00:03:38,984 - Have a super Christmas. - [moaning] 63 00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:42,022 - [rattling] - Wha...? Oh. 64 00:03:43,914 --> 00:03:45,799 - [Shrek] Ooh! - Honey, is that you? 65 00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:48,296 - [Shrek] Ah! Oh! - [gasps] 66 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,984 Fiona! What are you doing up so early? 67 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,127 - [grunts] - Wait, are you OK? 68 00:03:53,223 --> 00:03:56,008 - I'm all right. [chuckles] - What are you...? 69 00:03:56,106 --> 00:03:59,017 - Uh, I... - Are you decorating? 70 00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:01,833 Uh, yeah, that. Surprised? 71 00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:05,449 - Yes. [giggles] - Well, this is our first Christmas together as a family, 72 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:09,193 and, you know, I just want to make sure that it's perfect. 73 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:12,232 Shrek, I think... it's beautiful. 74 00:04:12,329 --> 00:04:13,900 - It's passable. - It's horrible! 75 00:04:13,997 --> 00:04:16,458 - Oh! Donkey! - They usually toilet paper and run away. 76 00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:19,179 Whoever did this means business! Get rid of all this junk 77 00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:21,065 and get some tinsel and doilies and ribbons 78 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:24,711 - and maybe some of those plastic reindeer. - What is it you wanted today? 79 00:04:24,808 --> 00:04:27,815 Come on, it's Christmas Eve! And I've brought you a little somethin'. 80 00:04:27,912 --> 00:04:30,474 Go ahead, take a couple. I bought plenty for everybody! 81 00:04:30,572 --> 00:04:33,033 Oh, isn't that... nice. 82 00:04:33,131 --> 00:04:37,642 Well, thanks for stopping by for that brief visit, but as you can see, 83 00:04:37,739 --> 00:04:39,657 there's a lot of work to do. 84 00:04:39,754 --> 00:04:41,449 Just like him to wait till the last minute. 85 00:04:41,546 --> 00:04:44,201 Don't worry, if there's one thing I know, it's Christmas. 86 00:04:44,298 --> 00:04:46,987 Shrek's gonna want help, my advice, and he's definitely... 87 00:04:47,084 --> 00:04:52,073 Actually, I think what he really wants is a nice family Christmas. 88 00:04:52,171 --> 00:04:55,370 Oh, a family Christmas. 89 00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:57,418 Yeah. It's the first one with the kids. 90 00:04:57,515 --> 00:04:59,785 Don't say another word. I know exactly what you mean. 91 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,115 - I got a lot to do now, so I better get movin'. - Thank you, Donkey! 92 00:05:03,213 --> 00:05:05,997 - Uh, and Merry Christmas! - All right. Merry Christmas! 93 00:05:06,094 --> 00:05:09,930 # Love and joy come to you and to me some waffles too # 94 00:05:11,371 --> 00:05:13,738 Donkey's right. It's Christmas Eve. 95 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:16,425 How am I ever gonna get this done in time? 96 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:21,132 This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. And we're going to do it together, so come on. 97 00:05:21,262 --> 00:05:23,052 [# The Waitresses: Christmas Wrapping] 98 00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:24,942 # 'Cause it is my favorite holiday # 99 00:05:25,006 --> 00:05:27,210 # All this year's been a busy blur # 100 00:05:27,307 --> 00:05:28,780 [belches] 101 00:05:28,877 --> 00:05:30,667 # On with the boots Back out in the snow # 102 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,751 # To the only all-night grocery # 103 00:05:32,848 --> 00:05:34,766 # When what to my wondering eyes should appear # 104 00:05:34,863 --> 00:05:36,783 # In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year # 105 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,734 # Then suddenly we laughed and laughed # 106 00:05:38,799 --> 00:05:40,428 # Caught on to what was happening # 107 00:05:40,525 --> 00:05:42,605 # That Christmas magic's brought this tale # 108 00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:46,764 - # To a very happy ending # - Everything looks so good! 109 00:05:46,861 --> 00:05:48,976 Oh, nice job, honey. 110 00:05:49,073 --> 00:05:50,894 Well, we all did it together. 111 00:05:50,991 --> 00:05:54,767 And now what would the perfect Christmas be without a Christmas story? 112 00:05:54,865 --> 00:05:56,560 - [giggling] - Ahem. 113 00:05:56,592 --> 00:06:00,302 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house 114 00:06:00,399 --> 00:06:03,565 - Not a creature was stirring... What? - [crashing] 115 00:06:03,662 --> 00:06:06,321 - Merry Christmas, Shrek! - Oh, not you! 116 00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:08,402 We're here to smother you with Christmas love! 117 00:06:08,499 --> 00:06:11,089 Absolutely not! Bad Donkey! Go home! 118 00:06:11,186 --> 00:06:13,263 How are you gonna have Christmas without family? 119 00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:15,182 - Seasons greeting! - Happy Holidays! 120 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,423 - Merry Christmas! - Well, what a nice surprise! 121 00:06:17,521 --> 00:06:20,146 Oh, yeah. Ooh! 122 00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:21,651 [cooing] 123 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:25,266 OK, I will assume the position. 124 00:06:25,364 --> 00:06:27,792 [squealing, laughing] 125 00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:32,433 - I am the joy-filled swine! - Yay for the season of love! 126 00:06:32,498 --> 00:06:35,824 Don't you know this is where stockings go? You can't be hanging laundry up! 127 00:06:35,925 --> 00:06:37,844 Donkey! Don't touch anything. 128 00:06:37,941 --> 00:06:41,460 - [shouting] - How we gon' roast chestnuts on this little bitty fire? 129 00:06:41,557 --> 00:06:42,836 Hey, baby, you mind? 130 00:06:46,418 --> 00:06:49,362 - Oh, boy! - This way, gents. 131 00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:51,504 [laughs] That was our supper! 132 00:06:52,565 --> 00:06:55,861 Ow! Hey! Ow! 133 00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:58,802 Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven? 134 00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:01,231 - [pig] Where are we going to put it? - I don't know. 135 00:07:01,328 --> 00:07:04,144 Let's put it over here. No, that is not with the feng shui. 136 00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:05,807 Come on, everybody, let's dance! 137 00:07:05,904 --> 00:07:09,521 # Yes, we can, can, can Can, can, can, can dance # 138 00:07:09,618 --> 00:07:11,826 [dance music plays] 139 00:07:13,746 --> 00:07:18,862 - [indistinct chatter] - [Shrek] Occupied! 140 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:22,128 It's me. Shrek? 141 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:25,457 - [Shrek] Yes? - Come back to the party. Please? 142 00:07:25,552 --> 00:07:27,601 [Shrek] I don't think that'd be such a good idea. 143 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,992 Come on. It's not that bad. 144 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:33,967 OK, I know you're not a party person, but... 145 00:07:34,064 --> 00:07:37,233 But what? This is not the kind of Christmas I had in mind. 146 00:07:37,297 --> 00:07:40,371 They're our friends, Shrek. They all mean well. 147 00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:42,675 - [glass shatters] - [pig] How many babies did Fiona have? 148 00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:44,756 - [pig 2] She has babies? - [pig 1] Don't know. 149 00:07:44,852 --> 00:07:45,972 I better get back to the house. 150 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:48,147 I'm surprised we have a house to go back to. 151 00:07:48,243 --> 00:07:51,570 - Are you coming? - Oh, I can hardly wait. 152 00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:55,381 - Ah, finally! - [crashing] 153 00:08:00,276 --> 00:08:02,740 - [humming Ride of the Valkyries] - Ja, look at him go! 154 00:08:02,806 --> 00:08:06,065 - Excuse me. Excuse me! - Excuse you for what? 155 00:08:06,162 --> 00:08:09,044 I don't feel very good. [gagging] 156 00:08:09,141 --> 00:08:13,461 - Ahh, I feel better now. - Ooh, a chocolate chip! Mm! 157 00:08:13,558 --> 00:08:16,407 - Sweetheart? [giggles] - [# Journey: Don't Stop Believin'] 158 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,436 - Mind if I cut in? - Oh! 159 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:25,396 # Don't stop believing # 160 00:08:25,493 --> 00:08:28,693 # Ooh, up and down the boulevard # 161 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,031 [giggling, cooing] 162 00:08:31,128 --> 00:08:32,950 [Pig] I am a little Christmas angel! 163 00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:36,086 - Hey there, my sweeties. - [belches] 164 00:08:36,151 --> 00:08:40,244 Aw. Would you like Daddy to finish the story for you? 165 00:08:40,342 --> 00:08:41,877 - [squeals] - Yeah? 166 00:08:41,974 --> 00:08:45,591 The children were nestled all snug in their beds 167 00:08:45,688 --> 00:08:48,057 - Visions of sugarplums... - Were you tellin' 'em 168 00:08:48,121 --> 00:08:50,934 The Night Before Christmas? That's the best Christmas story ever! 169 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,662 - And I'm the best teller ever! - Donkey... 170 00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:54,424 I got it committed to memorization! 171 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,022 - Gather round! - Donkey! Wait! 172 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,841 I'm supposed to tell the Christmas story. 173 00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:02,010 'Twas the night before Christmas and I spent all the day 174 00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,697 Finishin' up on my Christmas display 175 00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:07,000 Now, missin' all this would be nothin' but tragic 176 00:09:07,096 --> 00:09:09,785 So just follow me and I'll show you the magic 177 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,863 Now, out in the yard in a glorious clutter 178 00:09:11,961 --> 00:09:14,586 Is a spectacle there that'll make your heart flutter 179 00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:17,305 With 20-foot cheese balls and a big eggnog fountain 180 00:09:17,402 --> 00:09:20,282 And yodelin' elves on an ambrosia mountain 181 00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:22,681 A stage where acrobats jump, leap and prance 182 00:09:22,778 --> 00:09:25,465 And honor the day through interpretive dance 183 00:09:25,562 --> 00:09:28,411 - [all shout] - But just when you think the display is complete 184 00:09:28,507 --> 00:09:31,451 The Christmas parade comes right down the street 185 00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:33,883 With holiday floats all in silver and blue 186 00:09:33,979 --> 00:09:36,762 With sugarplum fairies and a reindeer or two 187 00:09:36,859 --> 00:09:39,449 There's a baton-twirlin' snowman all happy and perky 188 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,881 Magical peacocks and a dancin' roast turkey 189 00:09:41,946 --> 00:09:45,981 - # Everybody dance now # - [# C+C Music Factory: Gonna Make You Sweat] 190 00:09:46,075 --> 00:09:48,730 [Donkey] And right when you think that you've just seen it all 191 00:09:48,795 --> 00:09:52,699 Comes a huge waffle Santa that's 50 feet tall 192 00:09:52,796 --> 00:09:55,034 Ho, ho, ho! 193 00:09:55,131 --> 00:09:57,818 With syrup and butter the sight just amazes 194 00:09:57,882 --> 00:10:00,600 As it's flanked by a choir all singin' his praises 195 00:10:00,698 --> 00:10:02,621 # Oh, Santa # 196 00:10:02,717 --> 00:10:04,284 # Oh, Santa # 197 00:10:04,381 --> 00:10:06,747 # Oh, Santa Oh, Santa # 198 00:10:06,845 --> 00:10:09,147 - # Santa # - Donkey. 199 00:10:09,244 --> 00:10:10,810 - # Oh, Santa # - Santa? 200 00:10:10,908 --> 00:10:12,124 - Donkey! - Santa! 201 00:10:12,156 --> 00:10:13,979 - Donkey! - Oh. 202 00:10:14,045 --> 00:10:17,373 Very inappropriate, amigo. Please, allow me. 203 00:10:17,437 --> 00:10:19,738 - Oh, Puss, not you too. - In my homeland, 204 00:10:19,804 --> 00:10:22,620 we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicholas. 205 00:10:22,717 --> 00:10:24,955 He's not made of waffles. 206 00:10:25,052 --> 00:10:27,994 - This Santa was suave He was nothing like that - [giggling] 207 00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:32,025 The Santa I know was a hot Latin cat 208 00:10:32,122 --> 00:10:35,964 He was dressed all in fur from his head to his paws 209 00:10:36,061 --> 00:10:41,531 And he stood there heroic A real Santa... Claws 210 00:10:41,629 --> 00:10:43,996 Red are his boots 211 00:10:44,092 --> 00:10:46,683 - And so is his cape - Olé! 212 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:50,687 His sword is a cane that tastes like crab cake 213 00:10:50,782 --> 00:10:53,214 He wears a fine belt and a leather cravat 214 00:10:53,279 --> 00:10:57,820 And there's a cute fuzzy thing which hangs down from his hat 215 00:10:58,398 --> 00:11:01,501 [jingles] 216 00:11:03,549 --> 00:11:06,367 [purring] 217 00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:10,336 - [crickets chirping] - I have shamed myself. 218 00:11:10,432 --> 00:11:12,382 - [all] Olé! - All right, everybody, 219 00:11:12,479 --> 00:11:15,454 if you leave now, you can beat the holiday traffic. 220 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,046 Aw, phooey with all your sunshine and lollipops! 221 00:11:18,143 --> 00:11:21,473 Where I come from, Christmas is a nightmare. 222 00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,872 - [sighs] - [clears throat] 223 00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:27,039 'Twas the night before Christmas and the prettiest sights 224 00:11:27,135 --> 00:11:31,230 Were my sweetheart beside me in the bright Christmas lights 225 00:11:31,327 --> 00:11:32,895 ...until they got home. 226 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:37,314 When they looked at the car door handle, and they found a hook! 227 00:11:37,411 --> 00:11:38,912 - [shrieking] - [laughing] 228 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:41,793 Gingy, cut it out! You're really givin' me the creeps! 229 00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:44,513 Oh, come on, I was just teasin'. 230 00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:47,039 - Come here, you. - [chuckles] 231 00:11:47,136 --> 00:11:49,505 (giggles) Oh, Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you. 232 00:11:49,601 --> 00:11:51,295 - [rustling] - What was that? 233 00:11:51,392 --> 00:11:53,731 Oh, no, you don't. I'm not fallin' for that again. 234 00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:57,219 No, I'm really, really seriously not kidding. 235 00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,970 - Whoa! - Oh, Gingy! 236 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,945 - [makes Godzilla shriek] - Oh! 237 00:12:03,042 --> 00:12:05,634 [shouting] 238 00:12:05,729 --> 00:12:10,019 - [screaming] - Oh! Suzie! 239 00:12:10,117 --> 00:12:13,027 - [crunching] - No! No! No! 240 00:12:13,124 --> 00:12:15,203 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 241 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,632 - You know that's not how it goes. - You weren't there! 242 00:12:17,697 --> 00:12:20,735 All right, everyone, I've had just about enough! 243 00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:24,900 All I wanted was a nice Christmas with my family. 244 00:12:24,997 --> 00:12:29,156 And that's exactly why we're all here! Now, come on, let's finish tellin' my story. 245 00:12:29,253 --> 00:12:33,665 Oh, no, Donkey, that's not what I meant. And get out of my chair. 246 00:12:33,763 --> 00:12:37,153 - Oh, hey, what's this? - Donkey, let go of the book. 247 00:12:37,283 --> 00:12:41,699 - Why are you whisperin'? - I'm not kiddin', Donkey. Give me the book! 248 00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:47,043 - Heimlich! - Ja? 249 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,676 - No, Heimlich! - Oh, ja! 250 00:12:48,773 --> 00:12:51,171 - [shouting] - Uh! 251 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,635 Whoa! Ah! 252 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,422 - [gasping] - Ow! My eye! 253 00:12:56,519 --> 00:12:58,181 - Ow! - Oh, boy! 254 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,229 - Oh! - Ah! 255 00:13:01,702 --> 00:13:04,100 - [shouting] - [giggling] 256 00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:07,364 - Ah! - Drop and roll, Shrek! 257 00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:09,348 - Somebody get some water! - I got it! I got it! 258 00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:12,326 Don't worry, Shrek, everything is under control! 259 00:13:12,423 --> 00:13:15,943 - Oh, boy. - [kettle whistling] 260 00:13:16,776 --> 00:13:18,854 - Ooh! The tea is ready. - [Shrek] Out! 261 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:24,038 - I want everybody out of my house right now! - [shouting] 262 00:13:24,135 --> 00:13:26,085 Ah! Ow! 263 00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:29,864 Yeah, well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas! 264 00:13:29,962 --> 00:13:34,727 And if you think I'm gonna give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken! 265 00:13:34,822 --> 00:13:37,476 You want to give me a present? Then go away! 266 00:13:37,573 --> 00:13:39,907 - That's all I wanted! - Fine! I'm going! 267 00:13:40,005 --> 00:13:45,318 - Good, then go! - You go and have yourself a merry Christmas, 268 00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:49,287 - Ebenezer Shrek! - And a "Bah, humbug" to you too! 269 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:56,295 - We could come to our house. - Ja, we have plenty of schnitzel. 270 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,729 Now maybe we can... 271 00:13:59,689 --> 00:14:02,986 Fiona? Where you going? 272 00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:06,631 Shrek, you just kicked everybody out on Christmas. 273 00:14:06,729 --> 00:14:09,190 Well, that wasn't Christmas. That was chaos! 274 00:14:09,288 --> 00:14:12,040 Look, I know it didn't go like you wanted. 275 00:14:12,137 --> 00:14:15,723 What I wanted was a perfect Christmas for me and my family. 276 00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:18,506 - That was our family. - You call that a family? 277 00:14:18,602 --> 00:14:20,521 That was a natural disaster! 278 00:14:20,617 --> 00:14:23,114 On Christmas, that's how it works. Yes, it was crowded. 279 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:25,512 Yes, it got a little out of hand. 280 00:14:25,578 --> 00:14:28,680 - Fiona, they lit me on fire! - Shrek... 281 00:14:28,714 --> 00:14:33,419 I had everything under control until they showed up and ruined my Christmas! 282 00:14:33,516 --> 00:14:36,268 - Your Christmas? - I mean our Christmas. 283 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:39,274 - For you, and the babies. - [sighs] 284 00:14:39,372 --> 00:14:44,361 Christmas is not just about you or me. Or even the babies. 285 00:14:45,357 --> 00:14:47,148 You just don't get it. 286 00:14:47,214 --> 00:14:52,331 I have to go. I need to apologize to our friends. 287 00:14:52,428 --> 00:14:54,378 Fiona, wait. 288 00:15:07,918 --> 00:15:08,971 [sighs] 289 00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:11,754 [# eels: The Stars Shine in the Sky Tonight] 290 00:15:11,851 --> 00:15:15,945 # December is a lonely month # 291 00:15:16,042 --> 00:15:18,925 # In a year of lonely days # 292 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:25,006 # It's hard to tell which way is up # 293 00:15:25,102 --> 00:15:30,380 # Or down or out or through the haze # 294 00:15:32,108 --> 00:15:37,263 # It's not where you're coming from # 295 00:15:37,361 --> 00:15:40,589 # It's where you're going to # 296 00:15:40,687 --> 00:15:43,340 I still don't understand why Shrek had to be so mean and cranky. 297 00:15:43,437 --> 00:15:45,262 We were tryin' to do what you wanted us to do! 298 00:15:45,358 --> 00:15:47,948 - What are you talking about? - What you said this mornin'. 299 00:15:48,044 --> 00:15:51,022 You know, you and Shrek wanted to have a big old noisy family Christmas. 300 00:15:51,119 --> 00:15:53,552 No, I said it was our first Christmas together as a family. 301 00:15:53,649 --> 00:15:55,886 A family, right. That's me and everybody else. 302 00:15:55,983 --> 00:15:57,774 Then he lost his temper like that. 303 00:15:57,839 --> 00:16:00,911 You know, Donkey, none of us really asked Shrek what he wanted. 304 00:16:01,009 --> 00:16:04,751 Well, I must agree with the Princess. And you, especially, were no Christmas angel. 305 00:16:04,817 --> 00:16:07,793 - You know, I don't remember askin' you anything! - Donkey. 306 00:16:07,890 --> 00:16:10,608 [sighs] I'm sorry, Princess. You're right. 307 00:16:10,705 --> 00:16:12,911 - Even still, Shrek didn't have to be so... - What? 308 00:16:13,008 --> 00:16:14,129 - [yelling] - [meowing] 309 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,785 Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean? 310 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:21,745 Well, maybe I am all those things, but I'm an ogre, OK? 311 00:16:21,843 --> 00:16:24,498 So here's the thing. [clears throat] 312 00:16:24,596 --> 00:16:28,210 I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. 313 00:16:28,307 --> 00:16:31,793 No, wait. What I meant to say is 314 00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:35,441 I know you're all just trying to be helpful in your own irritating fashion... 315 00:16:35,509 --> 00:16:40,018 - Ay, caramba! - Uh, some people can't help being annoying. 316 00:16:40,084 --> 00:16:42,994 - Shrek! - Look, 317 00:16:43,091 --> 00:16:45,138 I shouldn't have lost my temper back there. 318 00:16:45,234 --> 00:16:47,667 - Apology accepted. Let's eat. - Wait a minute. 319 00:16:47,732 --> 00:16:50,961 Now, there's somethin' more to this. Come on now, what's goin' on? 320 00:16:51,057 --> 00:16:55,508 Look, all I wanted was to make this perfect for my family, 321 00:16:55,605 --> 00:16:59,506 but I don't even know what Christmas means. 322 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:04,273 The thing is, this is my first Christmas too. 323 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:07,221 Whoa, hold up, Shrek! You mean to tell me that you never had... 324 00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:08,308 - No. - Not even one? 325 00:17:08,405 --> 00:17:09,716 - No! - You mean no chestnuts, 326 00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:11,732 no Santa, no presents, no stockings? 327 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,876 - [gasps] No nut cakes?! - Donkey! 328 00:17:13,973 --> 00:17:17,298 No, none of that. 329 00:17:17,394 --> 00:17:20,722 Ogres don't celebrate Christmas. 330 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:24,117 Ogres don't celebrate anything. 331 00:17:26,452 --> 00:17:29,205 Oh, man, now I'm all emotional. 332 00:17:29,302 --> 00:17:32,209 - Come here, Shrek, gimme a hug! - All right, that's close enough. 333 00:17:32,306 --> 00:17:34,674 OK, all right, I just... guess I got... a little 334 00:17:34,771 --> 00:17:37,651 excited about Christmas and all the presents and mistletoe 335 00:17:37,748 --> 00:17:40,821 and [sniffs] everything, and I forgot that it's... 336 00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:44,532 It's about us all bein' together, and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek. 337 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,691 I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry it ended up in a great big fight. 338 00:17:48,788 --> 00:17:50,387 Oh, Christmas is all about big fights. 339 00:17:50,484 --> 00:17:53,523 My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries." 340 00:17:53,619 --> 00:17:55,509 - Usually that someone's me. - Boss, 341 00:17:55,606 --> 00:17:59,955 - there is no right way to do Christmas. You just do it. - Ja, with schnitzel! 342 00:18:00,053 --> 00:18:01,748 - [laughing] And eggnog! - [all] And cheese! 343 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:05,940 - And family. - Yeah. And family. 344 00:18:06,036 --> 00:18:10,068 So despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times... 345 00:18:10,165 --> 00:18:12,661 Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you. 346 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:17,301 ...it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us. 347 00:18:18,743 --> 00:18:21,652 [chuckling] OK, I guess I deserved that. 348 00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,925 - Don't push your luck. - [laughing] 349 00:18:24,022 --> 00:18:26,360 They got you good, Shrek! 350 00:18:26,457 --> 00:18:28,184 That wasn't even funny! Who did that? 351 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:31,417 [babies cooing] 352 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,200 [Fiona] Well, that's the last of the spare blankets. 353 00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:39,798 Uh, sorry, but this is my spot. I never get the good spots, so I specifically... 354 00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:41,718 [shrieks] 355 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,568 So we are pigs, pigs in the blanket, ja? 356 00:18:44,664 --> 00:18:45,882 - Ja. - Ja. 357 00:18:45,978 --> 00:18:48,569 - So this is funny then, ja? - Ja, ja. 358 00:18:48,666 --> 00:18:49,975 - This is funny. - Ja. 359 00:18:50,073 --> 00:18:52,118 - Yep, that's a good one. - Good night, everyone. 360 00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:55,033 - It's time for lights out. - Lights out? We can't go to sleep yet. 361 00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:57,818 We haven't heard a bedtime story. Right, everybody? 362 00:18:57,883 --> 00:19:00,379 - Shrek, yeah! - [all shouting] 363 00:19:00,475 --> 00:19:02,875 All right. All right. 364 00:19:02,972 --> 00:19:06,329 - [sighs] Don't need this. - [babies giggle] 365 00:19:06,426 --> 00:19:08,600 OK. 366 00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:11,481 'Twas the night before Christmas 367 00:19:11,578 --> 00:19:13,692 Not a swamp rat did creep 368 00:19:13,789 --> 00:19:16,507 As mother and babe played kazoo in their sleep 369 00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:18,460 [kazoo sounds] 370 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,372 Now, the sight of the house would make any ogre droop 371 00:19:21,468 --> 00:19:25,498 For 'twas sickeningly sweet as unicorn poop 372 00:19:25,563 --> 00:19:28,825 Yet who was arriving to help this lost cause? 373 00:19:28,922 --> 00:19:33,501 The foul, the vile and handsome Ogre Claus 374 00:19:33,598 --> 00:19:34,844 Hey. How's it goin'? 375 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,661 He looked all around and scratched at his beard 376 00:19:37,758 --> 00:19:39,514 And said... 377 00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,853 And said... 378 00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:45,374 This place is worse than I thought... uh, feared. 379 00:19:45,471 --> 00:19:48,349 So he grabbed up his belly and screwed up his face 380 00:19:48,446 --> 00:19:51,934 - And let loose a... - [loud belch] 381 00:19:52,029 --> 00:19:54,013 That transformed the place 382 00:19:54,108 --> 00:19:56,957 With a gleam in his eye His work here was done 383 00:19:57,023 --> 00:20:00,060 And then to the babies he gave One by one 384 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:03,070 A festering bottle of stinky swamp juice 385 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:06,494 And for mommy a kiss and a good Christmas goose 386 00:20:06,591 --> 00:20:09,594 - Ooh! - 425 degrees, 20 minutes per pound. 387 00:20:09,691 --> 00:20:12,922 Then digging a finger inside of his nose 388 00:20:13,018 --> 00:20:17,116 And giving a nod Up the chimney he rose 389 00:20:17,214 --> 00:20:20,604 And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight 390 00:20:20,701 --> 00:20:25,914 "Smelly Christmas to all, and to all a gross night" 391 00:20:26,011 --> 00:20:30,393 - [bells jingling] - Ho, ho, ho! 392 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,477 Ho, ho, ho! 393 00:20:32,574 --> 00:20:36,189 - Ho, ho, ho! - Santa?! Ah! 394 00:20:36,252 --> 00:20:39,386 Ho, ho, ho! 395 00:20:47,835 --> 00:20:49,854 [# The Fairy Tale Creatures: Deck the Halls] 396 00:20:49,951 --> 00:20:52,382 # Shrek the halls with Puss and Donkey # 397 00:20:52,478 --> 00:20:54,942 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 398 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,628 # Christmas time can be so wonky # 399 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,190 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 400 00:21:00,287 --> 00:21:03,068 # As we all descend on Shrek's place # 401 00:21:03,165 --> 00:21:05,566 # Fa-la-la, La-la-la La, la, la # 402 00:21:05,663 --> 00:21:08,225 # Fill his swamp with tinsel and lace # 403 00:21:08,321 --> 00:21:10,815 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 404 00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:13,086 # Christmas time can be such a hassle # 405 00:21:13,182 --> 00:21:16,031 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 406 00:21:16,128 --> 00:21:18,812 # When your friends invade your castle # 407 00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:21,441 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 408 00:21:21,537 --> 00:21:24,161 # Join us here for Christmas leisure # 409 00:21:24,258 --> 00:21:26,527 # Fa-la-la, la-la-la la, la, la # 410 00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:29,151 # Trashing Shrek's house is our pleasure # 411 00:21:29,249 --> 00:21:31,967 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 412 00:21:32,064 --> 00:21:34,814 # Push the chairs back cranks the dance tunes # 413 00:21:34,911 --> 00:21:37,313 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 414 00:21:37,411 --> 00:21:40,002 # We'll be house guests until next June # 415 00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:42,591 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 416 00:21:42,690 --> 00:21:45,345 # Eat the turkey and the cheese log # 417 00:21:45,442 --> 00:21:47,873 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 418 00:21:47,971 --> 00:21:50,623 # Guzzle punch and tea and egg nog # 419 00:21:50,721 --> 00:21:53,348 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 420 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,747 # Hail be Shrek through Christmas season # 421 00:21:55,844 --> 00:21:58,273 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 422 00:21:58,371 --> 00:22:01,026 # Seems to be against all reason # 423 00:22:01,123 --> 00:22:03,778 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 424 00:22:03,875 --> 00:22:06,496 # Christmas time we're sure to be here # 425 00:22:06,594 --> 00:22:09,157 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 426 00:22:09,254 --> 00:22:11,684 # Filling Shrek with lots of good cheer # 427 00:22:11,781 --> 00:22:14,147 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 428 00:22:14,244 --> 00:22:17,092 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 429 00:22:17,187 --> 00:22:19,012 [# I'm From Barcelona: Here We Come Wassailing] 430 00:22:19,108 --> 00:22:22,017 # Love and joy # 431 00:22:22,114 --> 00:22:25,251 # Come to you # 432 00:22:25,348 --> 00:22:28,070 # And to you # 433 00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:31,714 # Your wassail too # 434 00:22:31,811 --> 00:22:35,268 # Love and joy # 435 00:22:35,365 --> 00:22:38,470 # Come to you # 436 00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:41,189 # And to you # 437 00:22:41,286 --> 00:22:43,942 # Your wassail too # 438 00:22:44,037 --> 00:22:47,426 # And here we come a-wassailing # 439 00:22:47,523 --> 00:22:50,243 # Among the leaves so green # 440 00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:53,890 # And here we come a-wandering # 441 00:22:53,987 --> 00:22:57,124 # So fair to be seen # 442 00:22:57,221 --> 00:23:00,420 # Our wassail cup is made of # 443 00:23:00,517 --> 00:23:03,907 # The rosemary tree # 444 00:23:04,003 --> 00:23:06,564 # And so is your beer # 445 00:23:06,661 --> 00:23:09,443 # Of the best barley # 446 00:23:09,540 --> 00:23:12,484 - # Love and joy # - # Love and joy # 447 00:23:12,582 --> 00:23:15,974 - # Come to you # - # Come to you # 448 00:23:16,071 --> 00:23:19,173 - # And to you # - # And to you # 449 00:23:19,269 --> 00:23:22,854 - # Your wassail too # - # Your wassail too # 450 00:23:22,951 --> 00:23:26,182 # Love and joy come to you # 451 00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:29,094 # And to you your wassail too # 452 00:23:29,191 --> 00:23:32,133 # And we wish you # 453 00:23:32,230 --> 00:23:36,738 # A happy new year # 454 00:23:36,837 --> 00:23:39,843 # We are the daily beggars # 455 00:23:39,939 --> 00:23:42,917 # That beg from door to door # 456 00:23:43,015 --> 00:23:46,406 # But we are neighbors' children # 457 00:23:46,503 --> 00:23:49,478 # Whom you have seen before # 458 00:23:49,575 --> 00:23:53,253 # Good master and good mistress # 459 00:23:53,351 --> 00:23:55,909 # As you sit by the fire # 460 00:23:56,006 --> 00:23:59,656 # Pray, think of us poor children # 461 00:23:59,751 --> 00:24:02,184 # Wandering in the mire # 462 00:24:02,282 --> 00:24:05,190 - # Love and joy # - # Love and joy # 463 00:24:05,288 --> 00:24:08,550 - # Come to you # - # Come to you # 464 00:24:08,647 --> 00:24:11,973 - # And to you # - # And to you # 465 00:24:12,071 --> 00:24:15,241 - # Your wassail too # - # Your wassail too # 466 00:24:15,338 --> 00:24:18,377 - # Love and joy # - # Love and joy # 467 00:24:18,475 --> 00:24:21,769 - # Come to you # - # Come to you # 468 00:24:21,864 --> 00:24:25,289 - # And to you # - # And to you # 469 00:24:25,386 --> 00:24:28,616 - # Your wassail too # - # Your wassail too # 470 00:24:28,712 --> 00:24:31,722 # Love and joy come to you # 471 00:24:31,818 --> 00:24:35,147 # And to you your wassail too # 472 00:24:35,212 --> 00:24:37,545 # And we wish you # 473 00:24:37,641 --> 00:24:41,642 # A happy new year # 474 00:24:43,434 --> 00:24:46,315 [# The Donnas: Chrstimas Wrapping] 475 00:25:00,108 --> 00:25:02,029 # "Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong # 476 00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:04,109 # 'Cause it is my favorite holiday # 477 00:25:04,205 --> 00:25:06,124 # But all this year's been a busy blur # 478 00:25:06,221 --> 00:25:08,012 # Don't think I have the energy # 479 00:25:08,110 --> 00:25:10,156 # To add to my already mad rush # 480 00:25:10,252 --> 00:25:11,946 # Just 'cause it's 'tis the season. # 481 00:25:12,043 --> 00:25:14,187 # The perfect gift for me would be # 482 00:25:14,285 --> 00:25:16,303 # Completions and connections left from # 483 00:25:16,399 --> 00:25:18,254 # Last year, ski shop # 484 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,078 # Encounter most interesting # 485 00:25:20,175 --> 00:25:22,157 # Had his number but never the time # 486 00:25:22,255 --> 00:25:24,172 # Most of '81 passed along those lines # 487 00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:26,218 # So deck those halls trim those trees # 488 00:25:26,315 --> 00:25:28,010 # Raise up cups of Christmas cheer # 489 00:25:28,108 --> 00:25:30,187 # I just need to catch my breath # 490 00:25:30,283 --> 00:25:33,068 # Christmas by myself this year # 491 00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:41,773 # Calendar picture frozen landscape # 492 00:25:41,869 --> 00:25:43,852 # Chilled this room for 24 days # 493 00:25:43,948 --> 00:25:45,739 # Evergreens, sparkling snow # 494 00:25:45,836 --> 00:25:47,148 # Get this winter over with! # 495 00:25:47,244 --> 00:25:49,615 # Flashback to springtime saw him again # 496 00:25:49,711 --> 00:25:51,598 # Would've been good to go for lunch # 497 00:25:51,695 --> 00:25:53,582 # Couldn't agree when we were both free # 498 00:25:53,679 --> 00:25:55,564 # We tried, we said we'd keep in touch # 499 00:25:55,662 --> 00:25:57,581 # Didn't, of course till summertime # 500 00:25:57,678 --> 00:25:59,725 # Out to the beach to his boat Could I join him? # 501 00:25:59,823 --> 00:26:01,772 # No, this time it was me # 502 00:26:01,869 --> 00:26:03,761 # Sunburn in the third degree # 503 00:26:03,858 --> 00:26:05,584 # Now the calendar's just one page # 504 00:26:05,681 --> 00:26:07,761 # And, of course I am excited # 505 00:26:07,858 --> 00:26:09,649 # Tonight's the night but I've set my mind # 506 00:26:09,745 --> 00:26:12,462 # Not to do too much about it # 507 00:26:26,353 --> 00:26:28,561 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 508 00:26:28,656 --> 00:26:30,543 # Could've missed this one this year # 509 00:26:30,641 --> 00:26:32,496 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 510 00:26:32,592 --> 00:26:34,704 # Could've missed this one this year # 511 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,530 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 512 00:26:36,627 --> 00:26:38,546 # Could've missed this one this year # 513 00:26:38,642 --> 00:26:40,564 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 514 00:26:40,661 --> 00:26:43,057 # Could've missed this one this year # 515 00:26:43,058 --> 00:26:44,016 Subtitles by LeapinLar