不好意思 我没有点这杯酒 Sorry,I didn't order another drink.
这是酒保给的 It's from the bartender.
我知道酒是从哪来的 I understand where drinks come from.
我根本就没有点啊 I didn't order another one.
莉莉 他对你有意 Lily,he's hitting on you,okay?
他知道你现在单身 又跑出来跟我们玩 He knows you're single now,and he sees you hanging out with us,
他就知道你要犯错了 so he knows you make bad decisions.
天哪 我是有多迟钝 Oh,my God.I'm so rusty.
天 这还真是证明我好久没有出来混了 God,this is a testament to how done with dating I thought I was.
我是说 我居然穿的运动胸罩 I mean,this is a sports bra.
好吧 我现在也又单身了 Well,I mean,I'm single again too,
为啥我就没有人请我喝酒 so where's my free drink?
萝克珊 他们要是请你喝酒 他们还有活路么 Roxanne,if they gave you free drinks,they'd go out of business.
跟他去聊聊 他挺可爱的 Go talk to him. He's cute.
不 还真不行 太快了 不是么 Oh,no,I can't. It's too soon.Isn't it?
分手之后多久以后 how long are you supposed to wait after a breakup
才能再次出击呢 till you get back out there?
噢 当你知道这段感情 Oh,you're allowed to start dating as soon as
快要结束的时候就行了 you know the relationship's over,
即使对方并不知道 上吧 even if you haven't broken up yet and he has no idea,so go.
我不知道 我会感觉怪怪的 I don't know. I just feel weird dating again
如果尼尔还没开始跟谁约会 if I don't know that Neal is.
尼尔还没开始约会么 So Neal's not dating?
这我还真不知道 他不回我电话 短信 邮件 Oh,I have no idea. He hasn't returned my calls,texts,emails.
人类历史上 It's like never in the history of man
估计也就这么多方法来无视别人了 have there been so many ways to ignore a person.
你知道么 我有办法 You know what,I can find this out.
如果尼尔跟谁有一腿的话 肯定会跟艾历克斯和马克说的 If Neal is hooking up with someone, he's for sure told Alex and mark.
我是说男人会一边做爱一边跟哥们儿那吹嘘 如果我们不反对的话 I mean,guys would call each other to brag during sex if we'd let them.
好吧 还是没人 Okay,well,still nothing.
解放吧 我的事业线 Top button,you are excused.
嘿 Hey.
- 喝的咋样 - 挺好 - Hey,how was drinks? - Fine.
你知不知道尼尔现在有没有跟谁在约会啊 Do you by any chance know if Neal has started dating yet?
我咋知道 How would I know?
你们是朋友啊 又一起办网站 You guys are friends. You have a website together.
是 我们是很铁 Well,yeah,we're really close,
但是我们不聊这些 but we never talk.
确实 我在这做了2个小时 It's true. I've been here two hours.
我们一句话没说 We haven't said one word to each other.
- 要的就是这 兄弟 - 那必须得 - Awesome hang,man. - That's how it should be.
好吧 那你有没有发现他最近有啥变化么 Well,do you notice anything different about him?
比如 穿的更帅了 Like,is he,like,dressing nicer
或者说 走路姿势更怪异了 or,like,walking funny?
不知道 我是感觉他没变 I don't know. I mean,he seems the same.
老实讲 As a matter of fact,
我倒是觉得他跟莉莉会复合也说不定 I think he and lily might get back together,you know?
他们就像是天造地设的一对儿 They were,like,the perfect couple.
啥 他们光吵架了好么 What? All they did was fight.
不 那是咱 Oh,no,that would be us.
好吧 咱不是吵架 是我在调教你 Okay,we don't fight. I teach you things.
好吧 确实 你也许是对的 Okay,right. Fine,you know what? Maybe you're right.
也许他们并不像萝克珊和兰斯那么感情深厚 Maybe they weren't as strong as Roxanne and Lance.
你说真的 萝克珊和兰斯他俩分了2次好么 Are you serious? Roxanne and Lance broke up twice.
你还真是够瞎 You notice nothing.
当然不是 That's not true. Uh-uh.
好吧 Okay.
跟马克说我先穿的啥 Tell mark what I'm wearing right now.
有袖的 Arms.
- 我 - 没错 你看 - Oh,my... - Yeah,yeah,see?
好吧 Okay.
那我眼睛是啥颜色的 What color are my eyes?
漂亮的 Pretty.
难以置信 你根本不会注意到任何事 Unbelievable.You don't notice anything
除非是公牛队的比赛或者长着乳头的 unless it's playing the bulls or has a nipple on it.
这不是他的错 It's not his fault.
男人天生不具备 观察细致入微事物的这种能力 Men are not conditioned to see the minutia around us.
我们是被创造来 追踪和打猎的 We're built to track and hunt,
来瞄准远处的野牛的 to spot the bison across the range.
好吧 好吧 Okay. Okay.
现在看清我穿啥了 Now what am I wearing?
我不清楚 但我确实挺想射你 I don't know, but I do want to shoot ya.
别 肉太少了 Nah,not enough meat.
好吧 既然尼尔都不搭理我们 Okay,well,since Neal won't call any of us back,
咱明天应该去他家瞧瞧 看他是不是在跟人约会 we should go to his place tomorrow to find out if he's dating anyone.
- 为啥 - 这样我们就可以恨他啦 - Why? - So we can start hating him,
这样莉莉就可以做一些可以恨她自己的事儿了 and so lily can start doing things that make her hate herself.
好的 等下 我们到底想不想尼尔在约会啊 Okay,so wait,we want Neal dating someone or not?
嗯 最好的情况就是他在丘比特来一发上面找 Well,best-case scenario,we want him to be striking out on OkCupid,
但是不能比莉莉漂亮 but not with girls who are prettier than lily,
如果她们真的比较美 那就得缺胳膊少腿或者有个娃 and,if they are,they need to have less limbs or a kid.
你总是这么混乱么 Have you always been this confusing?
老兄 你确实瞎的不行啊 dude,you do notice nothing.
- 嘿 - 嘿 伙计们 - Hey. - Hey,guys.
还真是惊喜啊 What a surprise.
是啊 我们就是过来看看 你咋样 Yeah. We just thought we'd stop by,see what was up.
没啥 我挺好的 Not much. I'm good.
好 Cool.
好久都没来了 Oh,man,well,it's been so long.
你最近咋样 有啥新鲜事儿么 How you been,dude? What's going on?
这倒没有 Not too much.
电话号码也没换 Still have the same phone number
以防你们来之前打个电话 in case you wanted to call before coming over.
我们是不是打扰啥了 Are we interrupting something?
没 没 完全没有 Oh,no.No. Nothing at all.
就是跟一个工作上的朋友吃个饭 Just having a work dinner with a work friend.
闻起来不错啊 It smells great.
是啊 闻起来就像是你要升职 Yeah,smells like you're looking to get a promotion
到一个新的位置了 to a new position.
你们能等我一下么 Could you give me a minute?
没问题 Yeah.
他在约会呢 He is on a date.
- 有啥证据 - 到处都是 - Based on what? - Everything.
好吧 那咱该走了 Okay,then we should probably go.
不 我得先看看这个婊子先 No,I want to get a look at the skank first.
- 你好 - 好啊 兄弟 - Hello. - What's up,bro?
史蒂文这是我朋友艾历克斯和惠特尼 Steven,these are my friends Alex and Whitney.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
经常听他说起你们 I've heard so much about you.
很高兴见到你 老兄 It's nice to meet you,dude.
等我下 我得去把羊肉从烤箱里拿出来 Excuse me one sec.I should get the lamb out of the oven.
嘿 不介意我拿瓶啤酒吧 Hey,mind if I grab a beer?
为啥不 Why not?
你俩一定会觉得这个很搞笑 You guys are gonna think that this is hilarious.
惠特尼觉得我俩搅和了你的约会 Whitney thought that we were interrupting a date.
我们该走了 We're gonna go.
啊 我刚把酒拿出来 让我喝一瓶先 What? I just grabbed a beer. Let me have a beer.
不 我们确实打搅到他们了 快走吧 Oh,no,we're interrupting. We should go.
天 你知道么 我真的太傻了 Oh,God,you know what, I'm so stupid.
你们说不定有很多活要干 不好意思 You guys probably have a lot of work to do.Sorry.
嘿 约会愉快哟 Hey,have fun on your date.
我跟你说吧 尼尔跟那个男的在约会 I am telling you, Neal was on a date with a guy.
- 太荒谬了 - 真的 - That's ridiculous. - Really?
好吧 他特意摆了桌子 给他做饭 还打扫了卫生 Okay,he set the table for him,he cooked for him, he cleaned for him.
好吧 我们知道你不是弯的就好 All right,well, we know you're not gay.
嘿 老娘用了最快的速度赶来了 hey,I got here as soon as I could.
好了 快告诉我 就是啥能把我雷外焦里嫩 All right,so tell me,what's going to blow my mind out my butt?
我们撞到尼尔在约会 We just saw Neal on a date.
哇 轰动性啊 Wow.That's huge.
跟一个男的 With a guy.
哇 我这张轰动卡出早了 Wow.I played my huge card too early.
听着 他不是在约会好么 Look,he wasn't on a date,all right?
就是跟一个工作上的朋友吃个饭而已 He was just having dinner with a buddy from work.
我的天哪 那就是约会 Oh,my God,it was a date.
好吧 别把飞机也打下来 All right,try not to knock a plane out of the sky,Kong.
好的 仔细的跟我说说 All right,just break it down for me.
- 你们见到那个男的了么 - 嗯哪 他叫史蒂夫 - Did you meet the guy? - Yeah,his name was Steve.
N 史蒂文 "N." Steven.
没有一个直男叫史蒂文好么 And there are no straight guys named Steven.
好吧 除了 斯比尔伯格 席格 和 泰勒 Okay,except for Spielberg, Seagal,and Tyler,
但说的不错 but good point.
- 他们在吃啥 - 鸡肉 - What were they eating? - Chicken.
羊肉 Lamb.
跟迷迭香一起 With Rosemary.
好吧 首先尼尔弯了 现在迷迭香也跟着弯了 Okay,so first Neal's gay, and now Rosemary's gay?
你的假设有点太多了吧 You're making a lot of assumptions here.
好吧 那就是约会 Okay,it was a date.
他们把鞋都脱了 I mean,their shoes were off.
因为史蒂文是日本人 Because Steven is Japanese.
不 他真不是 No,he isn't.
我不敢相信尼尔居然喜欢男生 I can't believe Neal is into guys.
是啊 说不通都 Yeah,it doesn't make any sense.
一个月前 他跟莉莉订婚了 A month ago,he was engaged to lily,
他被她迷得神魂颠倒的 and he was,like,obsessed with her.
肯定有啥迹象 我们没有发觉到 There had to have been clues. We have to have missed something.
不 这根本说不清楚 No,you can't tell anymore.
弯与直就在弹指一挥间 The line between gay guy and vain,straight guy is gone.
是啊 亚当.拉维 昨晚在美国之声上把那条线给擦了 Yeah,Adam Levine erased that line last night on The Voice.
好吧 你们两个哑嗓 Okay,I don't think you two husky-voiced women
有啥资格说别人 should comment on anything.
好吧 我是跟莉莉组的 Okay,well,I am team lily,okay?
我不知道尼尔去的哪组 I don't know what team Neal is on.
应该不是 爱德华组 就是 杰卡布组 Well,probably team Edward or team Jacob.
但这事儿我得跟莉莉说 But I have got to tell lily about this.
不 啥 你疯了么 你不能跟莉莉说 No. What? Are you insane?We're not telling lily.
- 我们现在都还没有确定 - 是的 他说得对 - We don't even know what's for sure yet. - Yeah. No. He's right.
虽然听上去是条条大路通 基城 Even though it sounds like all roads lead to gay Rome,
不到百分之百确定之前你啥都不能说 you can't say anything until you're 100% sure.
我是说我们得仔细的观察一下 I mean,we might have to take our time on this.
毕竟基城不是一天就建起来的 Gay Rome wasn't built in a day.
好的 你得跟尼尔好好聊聊 看看到底怎么回事儿 Okay,well,you have to talk to Neal and find out what's going on
因为我不擅长跟人啊 感情啊 because I am not good with people.Or emotions.
还有带有感情的人啊 打交道 Or people with emotions.
没错 她说的对 Yeah,she's right.
有一次 我跟她说我妈把腿摔折了 When I got the call that my mom broke her leg,
她果断回了一句 我们应该让她安乐死了 she immediately said we should put her down.
好吧 我道歉 Okay,I apologized,
你必须承认 她以后确实再也不敢了 and you have to admit she will never run the same.
我们得谈谈 We need to talk.
那啥 艾历克斯 20分钟后就回来 you know,Alex is gonna be home in,like,20 minutes.
听着 我知道你昨晚发现了点端倪 Look,I know you picked up on something last night.
啥 没有 What? No.
没 没 没 完全没有 No,no,no,no.
就是两个男的吃个饭而已 Just two guys hanging out,you know.
就像你和艾历克斯19分钟后一样 Like you and Alex could be in,like,19 mutes.
艾历克斯给我打了无数次电话 说我们应该聊聊啥的 Look,Alex called me a bunch of times and said that we need to talk.
我知道肯定是你的主意 I know you put him up to it.
事实上 我现在也有点感情受阻 Here's the thing. I'm emotionally stunted.
- 而且我觉得你跟艾历克斯比跟我亲 - 惠特尼 - And I just feel like you're more Alex's friend. - Whitney.
我是基佬么 Am I gay?
这不是我该问你的么 Shouldn't I be asking you that?
我真的很爱莉莉 我对她真心痴迷不已 Look,I really loved lily.I was incredibly attracted to her.
但是当我在工作上碰到史蒂文的 But then I met Steven through work,
我开始感觉到了一些东西 像是心心相惜 and,well,I'm starting to feel something,like a connection,
好吧 听起来还真是基 and that sounds so gay.
我是说 就是基 I mean... It is gay.
到底咋回事啊 What is happening?
- 该死 尼尔 - 我很抱歉 - Damn it,Neal. - I'm sorry.
- 我都不知道该咋说了 - 不是 不是 - I just... I don't know what to... - No,no.
就感觉现在是你人生中最害怕的时刻 This is,like,the scariest moment of your life,
站在那里既无力又无助 and you're standing there all vulnerable and confused,
事实上你找我来分享 and the fact that you're choosing to share this
这个就证明你到底有多无助了 with me is proof of how confused you really are.
过来 Come here.