1 00:00:16,362 --> 00:00:18,330 Asshole! 2 00:00:25,642 --> 00:00:27,485 Oh, f-u-u-uck! 3 00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:44,710 R3V0LV3R. 4 00:00:51,042 --> 00:00:52,771 Oh, Shit! 5 00:00:56,162 --> 00:00:58,129 Ready? 6 00:00:58,201 --> 00:01:00,442 Ow! Ow! Aargh! 7 00:01:06,161 --> 00:01:08,130 Ohh! 8 00:01:10,081 --> 00:01:11,970 Aaargh! 9 00:01:13,842 --> 00:01:15,809 Oooh! 10 00:01:17,441 --> 00:01:18,602 Yaargh! 11 00:01:18,681 --> 00:01:19,648 Jesus! 12 00:01:25,201 --> 00:01:26,168 Aargh! 13 00:01:29,921 --> 00:01:31,889 Ohh! 14 00:01:33,041 --> 00:01:35,009 Aargh, Jeez! 15 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,971 It hurts! 16 00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,207 OK. 17 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:08,365 I don't suppose anyone remembers the first moment they opened their eyes. 18 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,010 - Push. - I sure don't. 19 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:14,243 But for my little brother Ed, l imagine this is what the world looked like. 20 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,202 Little man. 21 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,623 Because this is how we 'd see things all through 22 00:02:20,624 --> 00:02:23,206 childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood. 23 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,367 You see, ever since he was strong enough to lift a video camera, 24 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,168 he's had one pressed to his face. 25 00:02:29,239 --> 00:02:33,290 He didn't mind what he was videoing as long as he was videoing. 26 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,687 Ed. Hey. 27 00:02:41,559 --> 00:02:43,961 I don't think we really need to record Mr 28 00:02:43,962 --> 00:02:46,360 Fiddlesticks eating his own poop for posterity. 29 00:02:46,439 --> 00:02:49,727 OK He did get some funny stuff i'll admit. 30 00:02:50,559 --> 00:02:52,289 But he didn't live life. 31 00:02:52,359 --> 00:02:54,248 He viewed it. 32 00:02:54,319 --> 00:02:57,004 Then edited the best bits and archived them. 33 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,728 I mean, he was barely aware of monumental world events, 34 00:03:01,799 --> 00:03:06,248 but he could tell you the exact date cousin Stevie gave up karate. 35 00:03:07,159 --> 00:03:08,126 Ow! 36 00:03:08,199 --> 00:03:12,170 Sure the guy was a nerd, but he was my brother, and I loved him. 37 00:03:12,878 --> 00:03:16,725 He was always there to capture my many outstanding stage performances. 38 00:03:16,799 --> 00:03:19,881 O you, the doors of breath sealed with a righteous kiss. 39 00:03:21,839 --> 00:03:24,001 Way to go, buddy! 40 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,730 And I hoped he'd give it up when he went to college. 41 00:03:27,559 --> 00:03:29,925 Instead, he found a whole new world to film. 42 00:03:29,998 --> 00:03:31,363 Hey, Ed. 43 00:03:32,118 --> 00:03:35,123 But he never made really good use of his camera. 44 00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:37,883 - Unlike his roommate, Jack. - Oh, Jack! Oh! 45 00:03:38,798 --> 00:03:41,039 Oh, Jack, it's so big! Oh! 46 00:03:41,118 --> 00:03:44,406 It's so hot! Oh! Oh! 47 00:03:47,238 --> 00:03:51,323 He even had the damn thing pressed to face when he met his girlfriend Cathy. 48 00:03:52,718 --> 00:03:55,164 She got me where she want me... 49 00:03:56,878 --> 00:03:58,243 Oh, Shit! 50 00:03:58,318 --> 00:04:00,286 She said, "Baby, come on" 51 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,961 Jesus! 52 00:04:10,038 --> 00:04:12,005 I think I hit a retarded man. 53 00:04:12,758 --> 00:04:14,965 Sometimes I think she was right. 54 00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:17,405 After graduation, they moved in together. 55 00:04:18,237 --> 00:04:20,399 And Ed got a job in advertising. 56 00:04:24,158 --> 00:04:26,205 According to his boss, he was a natural. 57 00:04:26,278 --> 00:04:27,564 Ed? 58 00:04:27,638 --> 00:04:29,605 You are a natural, my son. 59 00:04:29,677 --> 00:04:31,567 You've won another award. 60 00:04:33,237 --> 00:04:37,288 You keep this up, and I'll see what I can do about getting you a corner office. 61 00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:39,325 - Thank you, Frank. - Good boy. 62 00:04:47,077 --> 00:04:48,522 Five buck tip? 63 00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:50,520 Five bucks, that's it? 64 00:04:50,597 --> 00:04:52,338 Was there something wrong with your sandwich, sir? 65 00:04:52,339 --> 00:04:54,079 Was the coffee cold? 66 00:04:54,157 --> 00:04:56,421 No, the sandwich and the coffee were fine, but 67 00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:58,685 I ordered a cheeseburger and an iced tea. 68 00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:00,882 I'm sorry, man. 69 00:05:00,956 --> 00:05:02,925 Do you need another five? 70 00:05:02,997 --> 00:05:04,203 Here's ten. 71 00:05:05,277 --> 00:05:07,244 Hey, thanks a lot. 72 00:05:08,717 --> 00:05:10,082 What are brothers for? 73 00:05:10,156 --> 00:05:12,124 I'll get you back real soon, I promise, man. 74 00:05:12,197 --> 00:05:14,848 My agent says I am so close to my first big break. 75 00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:17,966 She said you were so close two and a half years ago. 76 00:05:18,036 --> 00:05:20,403 Yeah, well, that was two and a half years ago. 77 00:05:20,476 --> 00:05:24,879 I have an audition for a Japanese whisky commercial tomorrow. Do you believe it? 78 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:26,799 Cooper, you're in your mid-20s. 79 00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:29,959 You've been doing this acting thing for, what, six years now? 80 00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:31,800 Yeah, give or take. 81 00:05:31,876 --> 00:05:35,005 I think it's time you moved on, thought about the future. 82 00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:37,044 Become an adult like I have. 83 00:05:39,875 --> 00:05:42,925 Did I mention he 'd become a tiny bit condescending? 84 00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:46,479 Hey, Cathy? 85 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,797 I picked up your stuff from the cleaners. 86 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,083 Cathy? 87 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:54,842 Cathy? 88 00:05:56,595 --> 00:05:57,757 Pumpkin? 89 00:05:58,636 --> 00:05:59,922 Ed. 90 00:06:00,675 --> 00:06:02,041 Jack? Hi. 91 00:06:02,116 --> 00:06:03,685 Hi. 92 00:06:04,716 --> 00:06:06,240 Are you ill? 93 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:09,285 Where's Cathy? 94 00:06:14,795 --> 00:06:16,559 Cathy, what's going on? 95 00:06:20,835 --> 00:06:22,075 Say something. 96 00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:28,997 I don’t think we should see each other any more. 97 00:06:29,075 --> 00:06:30,998 What? No. Why? No! 98 00:06:31,074 --> 00:06:33,157 What are you talking about? 99 00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:35,203 I mean, this is... fine. 100 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:37,242 I mean, we can work it out, right? 101 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,885 I mean, a lot of people, they... Jack? 102 00:06:39,954 --> 00:06:41,923 Can I have a moment with her? 103 00:06:41,995 --> 00:06:43,963 Oh, yeah, sorry, man. 104 00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:48,240 A lot of people have... 105 00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:50,838 ...affairs, you know? 106 00:06:50,914 --> 00:06:52,917 It doesn't mean they've got to break up. 107 00:06:52,994 --> 00:06:53,961 Right? 108 00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:57,800 There are some things i'll just never understand about Ed. 109 00:06:57,874 --> 00:07:00,639 He could forgive Cathy for blowing Jack... 110 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,804 ..but then totally lost it when he saw she was filming it 111 00:07:11,434 --> 00:07:16,474 I helped him throw out every camera and his entire obsessive compulsive archive. 112 00:07:16,554 --> 00:07:21,037 And rather than going on a mission to fuck as many of Cathy's friends as possible, 113 00:07:21,794 --> 00:07:25,003 Ed just moved out and swore he 'd never touch a video camera again. 114 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:36,719 In an instant Ed had gotten rid of Cathy and home video. 115 00:07:37,554 --> 00:07:40,125 And I can't say I was sorry to see either of them go. 116 00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:45,484 I thought he 'd finally start exploring life, having fun, getting pussy. 117 00:07:45,553 --> 00:07:47,874 But he got even more bottled up than before. 118 00:07:48,874 --> 00:07:53,640 Yeah, well, what my brother Cooper didn't know is that was living a nightmare. 119 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:57,995 Dude, she is going crazy. I shit you not. 120 00:07:58,073 --> 00:08:01,759 She's digging her nails in, she's screaming, she's moaning, she's like, 121 00:08:01,833 --> 00:08:05,154 "Oh, do me. Do me. I feel like a whore." 122 00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:09,636 At random moments, scenes from my archives kept coming back into my head. 123 00:08:09,713 --> 00:08:12,319 Stop! Stop! Stop! 124 00:08:12,393 --> 00:08:16,034 She's like, "Uh, uh, uh, uh!" I'm like, “Get off of it!" 125 00:08:16,112 --> 00:08:17,763 It's like dust coming out. 126 00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:19,801 Or at the doctor's. 127 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,398 Now, Mr Waxman, you may feel a little discomfort. 128 00:08:24,432 --> 00:08:26,401 Just try to relax. 129 00:08:31,273 --> 00:08:33,639 Even worse, it affected me at work. 130 00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:35,123 Mr Mclntyre, 131 00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:37,014 I must say that we here at Barnes, Butcher, 132 00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:38,833 Leiber, Melchett, Farquhar, Hidalgo, and Roper 133 00:08:38,912 --> 00:08:41,916 are one lucky advertising agency to have a client as... 134 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,520 ..enlightened as yourself. 135 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:47,959 - And I'm not just saying that. - Thank you. 136 00:08:48,032 --> 00:08:51,559 It is nothing but elegant and classy. 137 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:52,997 That was you. 138 00:08:53,072 --> 00:08:55,996 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you your new ad campaign, 139 00:08:56,072 --> 00:08:58,961 which rolls out nationwide next week. 140 00:08:59,032 --> 00:09:01,000 Ed, if you'll do the honours. 141 00:09:08,352 --> 00:09:11,117 "Real fur. Ifs fur real." 142 00:09:15,392 --> 00:09:16,359 Yeah! 143 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:17,876 Wa-hay! 144 00:09:18,831 --> 00:09:21,233 There it is! That's what I'm talking about! 145 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:22,358 Whoo! 146 00:09:30,191 --> 00:09:32,160 That's right Yeah! 147 00:09:35,111 --> 00:09:37,079 What a bunch of assholes. 148 00:09:37,151 --> 00:09:41,042 Do you really think this is going to get people to start wearing fur again? 149 00:09:41,111 --> 00:09:43,921 That question falls into the "Who gives a fuck?" Category. 150 00:09:43,991 --> 00:09:46,675 Mclntyre wanted that slogan, and it's his damn money. 151 00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:48,241 You know what I'm saying? 152 00:09:48,311 --> 00:09:50,171 We're here to help people sell their product, 153 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,032 not just agree with what they say. 154 00:09:52,111 --> 00:09:55,956 It's called keeping the client nappy. L know this is a new concept for you. 155 00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:57,874 Remind me, how many have you lost now? 156 00:09:57,951 --> 00:09:59,521 Four? Or is it five? 157 00:09:59,591 --> 00:10:03,073 A big agency like BBLMFH&R can handle a couple of lost clients. 158 00:10:10,671 --> 00:10:12,195 Hey. What's going on? 159 00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:14,956 Great Bridge Insurance has withdrawn its account from us. 160 00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:18,272 Oh, Shit. 161 00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:29,038 I guess you heard the news, huh? 162 00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:31,078 Nervous? 163 00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:33,118 I have nothing to be nervous about. 164 00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:35,798 I just stopped by to bring you this. 165 00:10:36,989 --> 00:10:39,436 You know, just a little something to say 166 00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:42,237 thanks for your help on the McIntyre account. 167 00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:43,277 Wow. 168 00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:45,354 Er... thank you. 169 00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:47,876 That's great. I didn't mean the whole um... 170 00:10:49,630 --> 00:10:51,394 There's nothing in it. 171 00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:54,197 Oh, the box, that's the gift. 172 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:57,877 I thought you might need something to clear your desk into on Monday. 173 00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:00,032 You're not my boss. You can't fire me. 174 00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:02,077 Ed, can I see you in my office? 175 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,313 Ed, when I first hired you, you were like a dynamo. 176 00:11:12,390 --> 00:11:15,552 You had an unusual way of looking at life, and l liked that. 177 00:11:15,629 --> 00:11:18,633 But after your intended did the dirty, things have got a bit... 178 00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:20,677 I never let that affect my work, Frank. 179 00:11:21,429 --> 00:11:23,193 Well, let's see, shall we? 180 00:11:23,269 --> 00:11:24,873 Skechers shoes. 181 00:11:25,709 --> 00:11:27,950 "Perfect for Kicking a man when he's down." 182 00:11:29,549 --> 00:11:31,119 Kahn's antiseptic. 183 00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:33,452 "Not so good for when she's ripped your heart 184 00:11:33,453 --> 00:11:35,716 out of your chest and thrown it in the trash." 185 00:11:35,789 --> 00:11:38,758 Yeah, but they're not all like that. Here, look. 186 00:11:40,468 --> 00:11:42,311 "Pacific Rim Telephone. 187 00:11:42,389 --> 00:11:43,720 Only 3 cents a minute." 188 00:11:43,789 --> 00:11:45,790 Only 3 cents a minute? 189 00:11:51,348 --> 00:11:53,316 "We can still make it work. 190 00:11:53,389 --> 00:11:55,436 Just call for 3 cents a minute." 191 00:11:55,508 --> 00:11:58,240 - So, what are you saying? - You're fired. 192 00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:01,471 Aaargh! 193 00:12:04,708 --> 00:12:05,675 OK. 194 00:12:06,828 --> 00:12:08,796 What if I make Great Bridge stay? 195 00:12:08,868 --> 00:12:12,156 What if I come up with a campaign that will win them back? 196 00:12:12,228 --> 00:12:15,118 We've had the whole creative department on this for six months. 197 00:12:15,188 --> 00:12:17,633 You think you can turn that around by Monday? 198 00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:19,472 Monday? 199 00:12:21,188 --> 00:12:22,952 Yeah. 200 00:12:23,028 --> 00:12:26,589 Yeah. I'm going to make 'em stay. I'm going to come up with a campaign. 201 00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:28,635 If you do that... 202 00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:32,189 you cannot only keep your job, you can have this office. 203 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,955 I'm not going to let you down. 204 00:12:38,227 --> 00:12:40,798 - Where are we putting this? - Roger's office. 205 00:12:42,948 --> 00:12:44,915 Hey! Hey! Hey, put it down! 206 00:12:44,987 --> 00:12:46,955 Put it down. I'm on the payroll st... 207 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,195 They took my coat! 208 00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:27,874 Oh-ho! 209 00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,236 Whoo! 210 00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:55,033 Hey. 211 00:14:01,146 --> 00:14:03,113 It is dead animals in the shaft. 212 00:14:03,186 --> 00:14:04,391 What animals? 213 00:14:04,465 --> 00:14:06,434 Uh... rats... 214 00:14:06,506 --> 00:14:08,872 uh... mice, cats. 215 00:14:08,946 --> 00:14:10,789 Cats? 216 00:14:10,866 --> 00:14:13,647 The cats go in after the mice and rats, and 217 00:14:13,648 --> 00:14:16,430 then they get stuck, and they starve and die. 218 00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:18,826 Then they decompose, and the rotting flesh 219 00:14:18,905 --> 00:14:21,875 releases the offending odour that you're smelling now. 220 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,516 I see. 221 00:14:25,145 --> 00:14:27,113 Try breathing through your mouth. 222 00:14:32,985 --> 00:14:35,067 Try breathing through your mouth? 223 00:14:35,145 --> 00:14:37,113 Could this day suck any more? 224 00:14:37,905 --> 00:14:39,191 Happy Birthday? 225 00:14:40,385 --> 00:14:41,955 Owl Shit! 226 00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,595 What are you doing? 227 00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,793 It's your birthday. I wanted to surprise you. 228 00:14:45,865 --> 00:14:47,549 - What, by blinding me? - Oh, come on. 229 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,832 That's what big brothers are for. Sit down. 230 00:14:49,904 --> 00:14:52,749 Come on, I got some presents for you. We're all set. 231 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,314 Open it up. Open it up. 232 00:14:57,824 --> 00:14:59,827 It's the bottle of Glen Kyoto. That's... 233 00:14:59,905 --> 00:15:01,953 Hey, you know it. 234 00:15:05,985 --> 00:15:07,907 And look at this. Wow. 235 00:15:07,984 --> 00:15:09,908 That's a Glen Kyoto T-shirt. 236 00:15:09,984 --> 00:15:12,430 Oh, look at this great piece of artwork. 237 00:15:12,505 --> 00:15:14,950 Wow, that's a Glen Kyoto ashtray, of course. 238 00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:18,790 That's uncanny, cos just today, I was thinking about taking up smoking, so... 239 00:15:18,864 --> 00:15:22,152 - Call that brotherly intuition. - Thank you, buddy. 240 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,794 Don't thank me. 241 00:15:23,864 --> 00:15:27,550 Thank the number-one-selling Japanese rice whisky in the world. 242 00:15:27,624 --> 00:15:30,628 Puts a roof over our head and tastes delicious, right? 243 00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:32,706 Oh, hey. 244 00:15:32,784 --> 00:15:34,752 - These came for you. - Oh, yeah. 245 00:15:34,824 --> 00:15:36,588 Fan mail. 246 00:15:36,664 --> 00:15:38,746 Oh, my God. 247 00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:41,304 How'd you like to have that wrapped around your cock? 248 00:15:41,384 --> 00:15:43,352 On, dirty. 249 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:45,794 But I'd do her. Would you do her? 250 00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:47,593 You'd definitely do her. Come on. 251 00:15:48,664 --> 00:15:49,949 - Oh! - Ooh. 252 00:15:50,024 --> 00:15:53,187 Oh. Fat man in little panties. 253 00:15:53,264 --> 00:15:55,630 That one's yours. Oh, hey, I nearly forgot. 254 00:15:55,703 --> 00:15:57,671 Got you one more present. 255 00:15:57,743 --> 00:15:59,507 "Bup, buh, dah, ba" 256 00:16:01,263 --> 00:16:03,266 Well, what do you think, huh? 257 00:16:03,344 --> 00:16:05,664 Come on. This thing is the very latest. 258 00:16:05,743 --> 00:16:10,829 I swear to God, man, you could shoot a cum shot from a mile away with this thing. 259 00:16:13,983 --> 00:16:15,985 Now What's the matter? You don't like it? 260 00:16:16,063 --> 00:16:17,633 You know my promise: 261 00:16:17,703 --> 00:16:20,547 I will never film another inch of home video footage again. 262 00:16:20,623 --> 00:16:22,546 It's over a year since Cathy dumped you. 263 00:16:22,622 --> 00:16:25,467 She didn't dump me. It was mutual. 264 00:16:26,983 --> 00:16:28,223 Aaargh! 265 00:16:28,302 --> 00:16:29,270 Shit? 266 00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,991 Ed, you love home video, man. 267 00:16:32,063 --> 00:16:35,783 Don't you think it's time you got over her and that stupid little promise? 268 00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:38,427 Oh, hey, Ed. 269 00:16:38,502 --> 00:16:40,471 Come on, man, this thing's perfect. 270 00:16:40,543 --> 00:16:42,671 - I got work to do. - Come on, man. 271 00:16:42,742 --> 00:16:45,473 Cathy and Jack would be happy to have a camera like this. 272 00:16:46,302 --> 00:16:48,271 Wait a minute. Ed! 273 00:16:48,343 --> 00:16:49,503 Hey, Ed. 274 00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,550 Ed, wait a minute, man. 275 00:16:51,622 --> 00:16:53,671 You've got to go out. It's your birthday. 276 00:16:53,742 --> 00:16:55,870 I'm going to have to take a rain check on that. 277 00:16:55,942 --> 00:16:59,345 But it's your birthday. You got to go out. It's the law. 278 00:16:59,422 --> 00:17:02,312 - I have to work or I'm toast. - We 'll go to Gonigan's. 279 00:17:02,383 --> 00:17:04,862 We'll have a quiet drink between two brothers. 280 00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,307 No, I can't, 281 00:17:06,382 --> 00:17:09,431 You won't achieve anything staring at these four walls. 282 00:17:09,502 --> 00:17:11,470 Art imitates life, right? 283 00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:13,510 And you need a life. Come on. 284 00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:18,307 Ha ha! That a boy! Come on, this will be fun. 285 00:17:18,902 --> 00:17:20,586 "THE STINGERS: Getaway" 286 00:17:25,142 --> 00:17:27,543 "First the money gets away" 287 00:17:28,301 --> 00:17:30,191 You never told me, how was that audition? 288 00:17:30,262 --> 00:17:33,071 - I didn't get a call back. - No way! 289 00:17:33,141 --> 00:17:34,922 - Did they give a reason? 290 00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,702 - I didn't technically make it to the audition. 291 00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:39,069 Got a little sidetracked, if you know what I mean. 292 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,188 Oh, Jeez. 293 00:17:43,422 --> 00:17:45,788 - Isn't Gonigan's to the right? - Oh, yeah. 294 00:17:45,861 --> 00:17:47,670 Just got to pick up a couple of friends. 295 00:17:47,741 --> 00:17:49,385 - I thought this was just going to be the two of us. 296 00:17:49,386 --> 00:17:51,029 - It is. 297 00:17:51,101 --> 00:17:53,069 The two of us and a couple of girls. 298 00:17:53,142 --> 00:17:55,109 - I can't believe you! - What? 299 00:17:55,181 --> 00:17:58,264 Come on, you'll love these girls. They're total Sweeties. 300 00:17:58,341 --> 00:18:00,503 And Susie is definitely your type. 301 00:18:02,141 --> 00:18:04,109 - Coopie. - Hi, Jo. 302 00:18:06,741 --> 00:18:08,709 Uh... Susie. 303 00:18:08,781 --> 00:18:10,988 This is my brother, Ed. 304 00:18:11,061 --> 00:18:13,029 - Hello. - Hi. 305 00:18:14,381 --> 00:18:17,350 Um... l got to go finish my make-up. 306 00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:19,587 Coopie? 307 00:18:19,661 --> 00:18:21,628 You come with me? 308 00:18:23,781 --> 00:18:25,545 Its his birthday. 309 00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,029 Ehm... shall we open this? 310 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:38,229 Don't bother. We already got one open. 311 00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:47,588 - There you go. - Thank you. 312 00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:56,590 Its delicious. 313 00:18:56,659 --> 00:18:58,230 Yeah, it's so big. 314 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,308 Oh, I'm a whore, yeah. 315 00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:04,824 Ehh... 316 00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:07,905 Spank me. 317 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,948 Spank me, Daddy. 318 00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:11,987 Oh, yeah! 319 00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:13,664 So, what do you do? 320 00:19:13,739 --> 00:19:15,344 I'm a nurse. 321 00:19:16,140 --> 00:19:17,709 Wow, that's a tough job. 322 00:19:17,779 --> 00:19:20,942 So few people are really making a difference in the world, 323 00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:23,420 and look at you, you're out there curing illnesses, 324 00:19:23,421 --> 00:19:25,820 and healing injuries, and saving lives. 325 00:19:26,819 --> 00:19:28,389 I Work in an abortion clinic. 326 00:19:30,139 --> 00:19:32,506 Ohh! 327 00:19:36,179 --> 00:19:37,749 Right! So. 328 00:19:42,619 --> 00:19:43,984 So, Susie, 329 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:46,443 was Ed here telling you that he's an 330 00:19:46,444 --> 00:19:48,826 award-winning advertising executive Supremo? 331 00:19:48,899 --> 00:19:50,867 The kid's a dynamo. 332 00:19:56,618 --> 00:19:57,983 Oops. 333 00:20:08,818 --> 00:20:09,899 Who's hungry? 334 00:20:09,979 --> 00:20:11,946 "BOSSHOUSE: You Roll I'll Drive" 335 00:20:12,018 --> 00:20:13,589 "We're the only ones here alive..." 336 00:20:13,658 --> 00:20:16,309 And so Ed runs eight miles. 337 00:20:16,378 --> 00:20:20,542 And I'm not talking your average over the river and through the woods here, ladies. 338 00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:24,509 I'm talking the most treacherous terrain you can possibly imagine. 339 00:20:24,578 --> 00:20:27,058 I'm talking jumping over snake pits. 340 00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:31,780 I'm talking about this man was chased by wolves just to find somebody with a phone 341 00:20:31,858 --> 00:20:36,147 to then call the airborne forest rangers, who arrived just in the nick of time 342 00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:40,507 to save the entire boy scout troop. 343 00:20:41,378 --> 00:20:46,225 Had it not been for my brother's grit, determination and sheer heroism, 344 00:20:47,017 --> 00:20:48,986 they may have all died. 345 00:20:49,058 --> 00:20:51,026 You're a genuine hero. 346 00:20:51,098 --> 00:20:53,065 Is all that true? 347 00:20:55,377 --> 00:20:57,745 Cooper may be exaggerating a bit. 348 00:20:58,538 --> 00:20:59,903 The er... 349 00:20:59,978 --> 00:21:03,460 The bus actually drove off the road to avoid hitting me. 350 00:21:03,537 --> 00:21:06,302 But he did run eight miles. 351 00:21:06,377 --> 00:21:07,981 I mean, can you imagine? 352 00:21:08,057 --> 00:21:10,537 Yes, that's true, in the wrong direction. 353 00:21:11,378 --> 00:21:13,425 They were found by a passing hiker, 354 00:21:13,497 --> 00:21:15,784 and then he called out the forest rangers, and then 355 00:21:16,618 --> 00:21:19,507 they came in helicopters, actually, and found me. 356 00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:22,660 The point here is, ladies, that everyone was saved. 357 00:21:23,377 --> 00:21:24,822 Yes. 358 00:21:24,897 --> 00:21:26,865 There you go. 359 00:21:28,657 --> 00:21:31,900 Except the guy who lost his legs. There was a guy who lost his legs. 360 00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:35,781 Food. Outstanding. 361 00:21:35,857 --> 00:21:39,019 Ladies, let's get it on here, huh? The night is young. 362 00:21:39,777 --> 00:21:41,619 Drink it up and enjoy. 363 00:21:41,696 --> 00:21:43,984 Susie, let's go. The game is strip coasters. 364 00:21:44,057 --> 00:21:46,024 Let's do it Top comes off. 365 00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,587 OK. 366 00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:50,703 Got it. 367 00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,187 Good catch. 368 00:21:52,256 --> 00:21:53,906 - Lucky you. - Thank you, thank you. 369 00:21:53,976 --> 00:21:55,580 OK. Your turn. 370 00:21:55,656 --> 00:21:59,297 Eddie, you're up. Come on now, buddy Show her you're an athlete. 371 00:22:09,256 --> 00:22:11,065 He shoots, he scores, huh? 372 00:22:11,136 --> 00:22:14,458 Excellent shot! Did you see that? 373 00:22:22,815 --> 00:22:24,341 Would you excuse me for a moment? 374 00:22:25,736 --> 00:22:28,500 - Where's the men's room? - It's in the back there. 375 00:22:29,775 --> 00:22:32,256 - Right or left? - Hey just follow your nose. 376 00:22:32,335 --> 00:22:34,304 Gook luck. 377 00:22:47,215 --> 00:22:49,183 Oh, no. 378 00:23:02,895 --> 00:23:04,659 Ohh. 379 00:23:14,615 --> 00:23:16,582 Oh, it burns. 380 00:23:25,814 --> 00:23:27,783 No. 381 00:23:35,695 --> 00:23:37,139 I can't wipe with that. 382 00:24:09,454 --> 00:24:11,217 Oh, hey. Hey, brother. 383 00:24:11,293 --> 00:24:13,455 Listen, you mind if you take Susie home? 384 00:24:13,533 --> 00:24:16,104 - Where are you going? - Oh, Jo's not feeling well. 385 00:24:16,173 --> 00:24:18,541 - What's wrong with her? - You know, I'm not sure. 386 00:24:18,614 --> 00:24:21,298 But I better take her home and take her temperature, 387 00:24:21,373 --> 00:24:23,456 vaginally with my flesh thermometer. 388 00:24:24,493 --> 00:24:26,541 Susie's totally into you, by the way. 389 00:24:28,413 --> 00:24:30,177 Here, man. 390 00:24:30,253 --> 00:24:32,221 Look alive. Have some fun, will you? 391 00:24:33,253 --> 00:24:34,414 Ladies. 392 00:24:34,493 --> 00:24:37,258 Jo, what do you say we get the fuck out of here, huh? 393 00:24:37,333 --> 00:24:39,301 I am ready for dessert. 394 00:24:39,373 --> 00:24:41,455 Oh, yeah. Spanking's on the menu. 395 00:24:51,893 --> 00:24:53,656 Can I walk you home? 396 00:24:53,732 --> 00:24:54,814 Sure. 397 00:24:54,893 --> 00:24:57,293 But I don't want you to get the wrong idea. 398 00:24:59,012 --> 00:25:00,981 I'm not that Kind of girl. 399 00:25:01,053 --> 00:25:05,024 Don't you think there's something just so sexy about the city at night? 400 00:25:05,092 --> 00:25:07,277 There's something about knowing that thousands 401 00:25:07,278 --> 00:25:09,461 of people all around us are doing it. 402 00:25:09,532 --> 00:25:13,037 Old people, married folks, adulterers, teenagers, 403 00:25:13,038 --> 00:25:16,541 virgins losing it for the first time... 404 00:25:17,572 --> 00:25:21,133 ..all enjoying the intimate knowledge of each others' hot bodies. 405 00:25:21,212 --> 00:25:22,976 Shim If you're really quiet, 406 00:25:23,052 --> 00:25:26,738 you can almost hear the rhythmic sound of all that sex going on. 407 00:25:27,812 --> 00:25:29,576 Makes you think, doesn't it? 408 00:25:32,412 --> 00:25:34,699 Yeah. Well, it was really nice to meet you. 409 00:25:34,772 --> 00:25:36,740 Um... good luck with everything. 410 00:25:40,892 --> 00:25:42,542 Loser. 411 00:25:47,332 --> 00:25:48,856 What are you doing here? 412 00:25:49,892 --> 00:25:51,495 I live here, Where should I be? 413 00:25:51,571 --> 00:25:53,540 Six inches inside Susie. 414 00:25:53,611 --> 00:25:55,774 She was my final birthday present to you. 415 00:25:55,851 --> 00:25:56,818 What? 416 00:25:56,891 --> 00:26:00,101 A birthday present from me to you. 417 00:26:00,171 --> 00:26:02,220 A girl that doesn't know how to say no. 418 00:26:02,292 --> 00:26:04,737 She specifically told me she wasn't interested. 419 00:26:04,811 --> 00:26:06,381 All women say that. 420 00:26:06,451 --> 00:26:08,818 It's just a hoop they make you jump through. 421 00:26:08,892 --> 00:26:10,256 Oh, man. 422 00:26:10,331 --> 00:26:13,175 I cannot believe you didn't do her. She's fucked everyone. 423 00:26:14,691 --> 00:26:17,012 Get some action soon, or you could die of DSB. 424 00:26:17,091 --> 00:26:18,058 DSB? 425 00:26:18,131 --> 00:26:19,735 Dangerous Sperm Build-up. 426 00:26:20,931 --> 00:26:22,899 "1812 Overture" 427 00:26:25,731 --> 00:26:27,699 You think I haven't been trying? 428 00:26:27,770 --> 00:26:30,581 I mean, I keep striking out. I'm crap with women. 429 00:26:30,651 --> 00:26:33,222 Then let me help you. I'm serious. Let me help you. 430 00:26:33,291 --> 00:26:34,622 Let me help you. 431 00:26:34,691 --> 00:26:37,297 - I have to work. - I can work around your work. 432 00:26:37,370 --> 00:26:39,499 I'm spending this weekend at the office. 433 00:26:39,570 --> 00:26:41,653 Come on. I can be your doctor of love. 434 00:26:41,730 --> 00:26:44,097 I can be your feel-good professor. 435 00:26:44,171 --> 00:26:47,572 - You're not listening. - I will be your pallbearer of pussy. 436 00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:49,892 I can be your psychiatrist of snatch. 437 00:26:49,971 --> 00:26:51,893 Give you the bible of booty, buddy. 438 00:26:51,970 --> 00:26:54,815 It'll be fantastic. You cant stop me. You know that. 439 00:26:54,890 --> 00:26:56,779 And I'll help you. I'll show you. 440 00:26:56,850 --> 00:26:58,932 It's a deal. I know. You want to make this deal. 441 00:26:59,010 --> 00:27:00,455 - You need this. - Stop! 442 00:27:01,570 --> 00:27:02,537 Fine. 443 00:27:02,610 --> 00:27:04,533 But this cannot interfere with my work. 444 00:27:04,610 --> 00:27:06,578 All right. 445 00:27:08,610 --> 00:27:10,578 It's a deal. 446 00:27:10,650 --> 00:27:12,732 You're going to get laid this weekend, buddy. 447 00:27:22,449 --> 00:27:24,418 What are you doing? 448 00:27:25,410 --> 00:27:27,377 Coop, what are you doing? 449 00:27:28,450 --> 00:27:32,090 When William the Conqueror landed on the English shores in 1066, 450 00:27:32,169 --> 00:27:34,935 he had his invading army destroy their own boats. 451 00:27:35,970 --> 00:27:38,813 He wanted them to know that there was no going back. 452 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:43,053 They were either going to conquer England or they were going to die trying. 453 00:27:43,770 --> 00:27:45,214 What's your point? 454 00:27:46,890 --> 00:27:49,733 Ed, we're throwing away your porn. 455 00:27:51,129 --> 00:27:53,097 I don't have any porn. 456 00:27:53,169 --> 00:27:55,137 What makes you think I have porn? 457 00:27:56,449 --> 00:27:59,055 All right, I got a magazine lying around somewhere maybe. 458 00:27:59,129 --> 00:28:02,053 I mean... Fine, we can throw that away. 459 00:28:02,129 --> 00:28:04,097 OK. OK. 460 00:28:04,969 --> 00:28:09,531 Well, at least this explains why we spend 4,000 a month on tissues. 461 00:28:10,608 --> 00:28:11,973 Oh, check it out. 462 00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:14,130 First targets of the day. Now, be cool. 463 00:28:14,209 --> 00:28:16,132 Hey, ladies. 464 00:28:16,209 --> 00:28:19,497 What are two beautiful women like you doing in a dump like this? 465 00:28:19,569 --> 00:28:21,058 We are throwing out the trash. 466 00:28:28,769 --> 00:28:31,772 Well, I don't suppose. Any of that turns you ladies on? 467 00:28:35,248 --> 00:28:36,739 Rug munchers. 468 00:28:36,808 --> 00:28:39,493 - I'll catch you later. - Oh, hey, wait a minute, man. 469 00:28:39,568 --> 00:28:41,332 I thought we had a deal. 470 00:28:41,408 --> 00:28:43,649 The deal was it has to fit around my schedule. 471 00:28:43,728 --> 00:28:47,016 Hey, and I completely stand by that, but it is Saturday morning, 472 00:28:47,088 --> 00:28:49,055 the perfect time to pick up women, man. 473 00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:50,857 I mean, their defenses are down. 474 00:28:50,928 --> 00:28:53,272 I know a place where the women are especially 475 00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:55,615 vulnerable to our licentious advances. 476 00:28:55,688 --> 00:28:57,815 "DAVID CHRISTIE: Saddle Up" 477 00:29:00,047 --> 00:29:02,016 And voila. 478 00:29:02,088 --> 00:29:05,250 Attractive single mothers on a beautiful Saturday morning. 479 00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:06,454 Are you kidding? 480 00:29:06,528 --> 00:29:08,974 As if single mothers don't have enough to deal with, 481 00:29:09,048 --> 00:29:11,015 they've got to be used and abused by you? 482 00:29:11,087 --> 00:29:13,567 Hey, us. Single mothers are at their sexual peak. 483 00:29:13,647 --> 00:29:15,616 They don't have a man in their lives, 484 00:29:15,688 --> 00:29:17,633 and they can't find one because they're busy 485 00:29:17,634 --> 00:29:19,579 looking after their little ankle biter. 486 00:29:19,648 --> 00:29:21,810 We're doing them a favour. 487 00:29:21,887 --> 00:29:23,855 Oh, there's one. Look. 488 00:29:23,927 --> 00:29:27,091 She's hot she's ripe, and not a boyfriend in sight. 489 00:29:27,167 --> 00:29:29,135 Come on, go, go, go, go. 490 00:29:29,207 --> 00:29:30,174 Ahem! 491 00:29:30,247 --> 00:29:32,215 Don't be nervous, though, OK? 492 00:29:32,287 --> 00:29:34,369 If you have any questions, just say so. 493 00:29:34,447 --> 00:29:35,415 Hi. 494 00:29:35,487 --> 00:29:37,251 Hello, there. 495 00:29:38,287 --> 00:29:40,254 Do you like riding? 496 00:29:40,327 --> 00:29:42,978 Yeah, it's quite impressive. What a beast, huh? 497 00:29:43,047 --> 00:29:46,812 When l was a little boy, l used to dream of having one like that. 498 00:29:49,807 --> 00:29:51,775 What, is it too big? 499 00:29:51,847 --> 00:29:54,168 Personally, I think the bigger the better. 500 00:29:55,206 --> 00:29:58,416 You know, it's fine as long as you do some stretching beforehand. 501 00:29:58,487 --> 00:30:00,375 You look like you could handle that. 502 00:30:00,446 --> 00:30:02,130 You sick bastard! 503 00:30:02,206 --> 00:30:03,492 What? I'm just... 504 00:30:04,247 --> 00:30:06,487 No! No, I wasn't... 505 00:30:07,247 --> 00:30:08,896 - Don't... - This man is a pervert! 506 00:30:11,526 --> 00:30:13,494 "WADE: Fall On Down" 507 00:30:14,566 --> 00:30:17,046 Those fat bastards will never get us! 508 00:30:17,126 --> 00:30:18,491 Yeah, right. 509 00:30:19,246 --> 00:30:22,217 "A million fishes left to fry" 510 00:30:23,286 --> 00:30:25,733 "And I fall on down" 511 00:30:25,806 --> 00:30:28,286 "I guess it's all the same tomorrow..." 512 00:30:29,326 --> 00:30:31,294 Come on. Get in. 513 00:30:31,366 --> 00:30:33,334 "I guess it's all the same tomorrow" 514 00:30:34,846 --> 00:30:37,417 I'm going to have a heart attack. 515 00:30:38,885 --> 00:30:40,649 That was fun, huh, buddy? 516 00:30:40,725 --> 00:30:42,694 I don't know why we had to run away. 517 00:30:42,766 --> 00:30:45,212 I mean, we could have just simply explained. 518 00:30:45,286 --> 00:30:47,368 Hey, you don't simply explain to cops, OK? 519 00:30:47,446 --> 00:30:50,335 Especially when you're accused of an alleged sex crime 520 00:30:50,405 --> 00:30:53,694 involving a horse cock and a pretty little girl in powder blue. 521 00:30:53,765 --> 00:30:56,371 Running away doesn't make us look any more innocent. 522 00:30:56,445 --> 00:30:58,050 All right, let's go. 523 00:30:58,125 --> 00:30:59,889 It's 12 o'clock. 524 00:30:59,965 --> 00:31:01,934 I haven't even thought about work. 525 00:31:02,006 --> 00:31:04,372 All right, I'm going to see you at the... Oh! 526 00:31:04,445 --> 00:31:06,174 What? 527 00:31:07,205 --> 00:31:09,094 What the fuck? 528 00:31:09,165 --> 00:31:11,054 That's Simone. 529 00:31:11,765 --> 00:31:14,894 The supermodel. Her obituary was in the paper. 530 00:31:15,645 --> 00:31:18,250 Now, why would God take the life of one so hot, 531 00:31:18,965 --> 00:31:22,936 when there are already so many ugly people littering this planet? 532 00:31:23,005 --> 00:31:24,973 OK, come on, let's go. 533 00:31:25,045 --> 00:31:27,012 It's a damn shame, Ed. 534 00:31:31,365 --> 00:31:33,605 Holy steaming vagina kettle. 535 00:31:37,885 --> 00:31:39,852 Ed, you can't leave now. 536 00:31:39,925 --> 00:31:43,486 We have hot women, depressed and in mourning. 537 00:31:44,204 --> 00:31:46,810 This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you, buddy. 538 00:31:46,884 --> 00:31:49,330 This is a church, and that's a funeral. 539 00:31:49,404 --> 00:31:51,168 Is nothing sacred to you? 540 00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:52,928 Ed. 541 00:31:54,364 --> 00:31:57,334 Besides, we're completely inappropriately dressed. 542 00:31:57,404 --> 00:31:59,372 "Organ plays" 543 00:32:04,324 --> 00:32:06,292 We're going to hell. 544 00:32:07,004 --> 00:32:09,245 An eternity of red-hot pokers up the ass. 545 00:32:09,324 --> 00:32:13,010 It's definitely worth the risk. Will you look at all the ass in here? 546 00:32:14,164 --> 00:32:16,132 Oh, come here, child. 547 00:32:16,204 --> 00:32:18,172 Let the Church comfort you. 548 00:32:20,244 --> 00:32:21,894 Mmm! 549 00:32:23,204 --> 00:32:24,443 Oh. 550 00:32:24,524 --> 00:32:26,492 Excuse me. 551 00:32:29,764 --> 00:32:31,732 Were you close to the deceased? 552 00:32:31,803 --> 00:32:33,532 I was her lover. 553 00:32:33,603 --> 00:32:34,570 Oh. 554 00:32:34,644 --> 00:32:36,611 You drink from the furry cup. 555 00:32:37,724 --> 00:32:39,213 Do you like men, too? 556 00:32:39,283 --> 00:32:41,252 Haven't you taken a vow of celibacy? 557 00:32:41,324 --> 00:32:42,449 Oh, well... 558 00:32:42,523 --> 00:32:44,969 it's more of a guideline than a vow. 559 00:32:47,004 --> 00:32:48,971 Oh, excuse me. 560 00:32:49,043 --> 00:32:51,011 Maybe I'll baptise you later. 561 00:32:52,043 --> 00:32:54,011 We are here... 562 00:32:56,363 --> 00:32:58,012 Today is a... 563 00:33:02,603 --> 00:33:04,570 I'd like to... 564 00:33:13,163 --> 00:33:15,164 My voice. Would you mind? 565 00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:18,008 - I don't think we... - Oh, we'd be delighted, Father. 566 00:33:20,802 --> 00:33:22,885 - We can't do this. - Hey, i 'am an actor. 567 00:33:22,962 --> 00:33:25,933 This is what i do. They'll never know the difference. 568 00:33:27,362 --> 00:33:28,489 Shalom. 569 00:33:30,482 --> 00:33:32,929 Welcome to our church on this sad day. 570 00:33:33,642 --> 00:33:36,691 A day to celebrate the life of Simone. 571 00:33:36,762 --> 00:33:41,051 Anyone who knew Simone knew that she was a beautiful woman. 572 00:33:42,082 --> 00:33:45,484 And I'm not just talking about in magazines or on the internet. 573 00:33:46,202 --> 00:33:48,648 She was beautiful on the inside, too. 574 00:33:48,722 --> 00:33:51,566 I mean, her bone structure was out of this world. 575 00:33:52,882 --> 00:33:57,365 But what lessons can we now take away from Simone's short life? 576 00:33:58,202 --> 00:34:03,572 To follow your dreams and to make each and every moment count as if it was your last. 577 00:34:04,482 --> 00:34:06,007 Just as she did. 578 00:34:07,281 --> 00:34:10,126 And what also can we learn from her death? 579 00:34:10,922 --> 00:34:14,483 If you're going to mix methamphetamine’s and Kentucky bourbon, 580 00:34:14,562 --> 00:34:18,611 then don't drive the wrong way up an off ramp into an oncoming 18-Wheeler. 581 00:34:19,601 --> 00:34:21,251 "'Ominous..." 582 00:34:21,321 --> 00:34:22,812 "Vacuum..." 583 00:34:22,881 --> 00:34:27,808 "Indigenous scrotum" 584 00:34:29,241 --> 00:34:32,485 "Amen" 585 00:34:34,641 --> 00:34:37,008 And a brief announcement before we depart. 586 00:34:37,081 --> 00:34:40,290 I will be giving, and receiving, 587 00:34:40,361 --> 00:34:44,207 one-on-one grief counselling in the sacristy directly following the procession. 588 00:34:44,281 --> 00:34:46,249 Please stand. 589 00:34:48,401 --> 00:34:50,448 And let us go in peace, 590 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,489 to love and to serve the Lord. 591 00:34:57,441 --> 00:34:59,011 Coop, my wallet. 592 00:34:59,081 --> 00:35:02,051 - It's in the casket. - We can't do anything about it now. 593 00:35:02,121 --> 00:35:03,690 Yeah, but... l'll... 594 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,402 We'll go to the cemetery after the burial, when everyone's gone. 595 00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:09,448 We'll ask them to open it up, OK? 596 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,328 Great plan. 597 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,725 I'm going to work, where I should've been all day. 598 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,448 It's 5 p.m., and I've got nothing done. 599 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,568 Nothing? You've been meeting women. 600 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,608 I don't care about that. 601 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,127 In fact, I was pretty comfortable in those priests' clothes. 602 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,728 I just want to save my career. 603 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,122 Maybe you'd do better at your job if you just loosened up and got laid. 604 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,249 I'm going to the office and I'm going to work all night. 605 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,005 And I'd appreciate it if you'd just let me have that time to myself. 606 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,201 Sure. 607 00:35:47,039 --> 00:35:49,008 Hey, whatever you need, bud. 608 00:35:49,079 --> 00:35:52,367 Whatever makes you happy. It is your birthday weekend. OK. 609 00:35:57,599 --> 00:35:59,363 Hey, buddy. 610 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,801 Hey, I was thinking, what if I brought some girls to the office? 611 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,246 Can you not get it through your thick skull? 612 00:36:06,319 --> 00:36:08,288 I don't care about getting laid. 613 00:36:08,359 --> 00:36:10,123 Why? Are you gay? 614 00:36:10,199 --> 00:36:13,965 You've never had a serious relationship, so you wouldn't understand. 615 00:36:14,039 --> 00:36:16,724 But me and Cathy, what we had was something special. 616 00:36:17,439 --> 00:36:19,407 It was about so much more than sex. 617 00:36:19,479 --> 00:36:21,447 It was about a closeness. 618 00:36:21,519 --> 00:36:24,170 It was about a Warmth that we felt for each other. 619 00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:27,721 There was nothing I wouldn't do for her, or that she wouldn't do for me. 620 00:36:27,799 --> 00:36:29,766 Because we cared about each other. 621 00:36:29,838 --> 00:36:32,887 Ed, she videotaped herself fucking your best friend. 622 00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:34,927 Give me a break, man. It's over. 623 00:36:34,999 --> 00:36:35,807 No. 624 00:36:35,879 --> 00:36:38,563 She could be out there somewhere now thinking about me. 625 00:36:38,638 --> 00:36:40,003 I doubt it, Ed. 626 00:36:40,079 --> 00:36:42,046 Why? Is it because I'm so repulsive? 627 00:36:42,118 --> 00:36:45,759 Am I such a... Am I so repugnant that no-one wants to be with me? 628 00:36:45,839 --> 00:36:47,488 No. 629 00:36:47,559 --> 00:36:49,959 No, it's not that. It's just... 630 00:36:53,558 --> 00:36:55,606 Well, it looks like she's spoken for. 631 00:37:03,158 --> 00:37:04,922 Hey, I'm sorry, bud. 632 00:37:05,758 --> 00:37:07,123 You OK? 633 00:37:07,198 --> 00:37:08,848 Hey! Whoa, whoa! 634 00:37:08,918 --> 00:37:10,568 Whoa, Ed! 635 00:37:10,638 --> 00:37:11,969 Wait a minute! 636 00:37:12,998 --> 00:37:15,239 We could at least act like adults about this. 637 00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:17,161 Take it easy. Let's go and sit down. 638 00:37:20,918 --> 00:37:22,282 Just... 639 00:37:23,038 --> 00:37:25,962 I just really thought we were going to get back together. 640 00:37:26,038 --> 00:37:28,005 You know, I thought she was the one. 641 00:37:28,077 --> 00:37:30,239 Well, that's where you're going wrong, Ed. 642 00:37:30,317 --> 00:37:32,797 I mean, you can't think about meeting the one. 643 00:37:32,877 --> 00:37:35,688 You need to start thinking about meeting the ones. 644 00:37:36,678 --> 00:37:38,840 I mean, meeting women is a numbers game. 645 00:37:38,917 --> 00:37:40,885 You think I get laid a lot, and I do, 646 00:37:40,958 --> 00:37:44,598 but l only sleep with a tiny percentage of the women l actually talk to. 647 00:37:45,357 --> 00:37:47,644 I mean, I'll talk to 30 women in a night. 648 00:37:47,717 --> 00:37:49,685 And if one fucks me, I'm doing well, 649 00:37:50,437 --> 00:37:52,405 You? You talk to two women in a month. 650 00:37:52,477 --> 00:37:54,662 And if neither fucks you, you scamper back into 651 00:37:54,663 --> 00:37:56,845 your little shell and feel sorry for yourself. 652 00:37:56,917 --> 00:37:59,568 Tell me how it works. I mean, make it work for me. 653 00:37:59,637 --> 00:38:01,605 You were right. Get me laid. 654 00:38:01,676 --> 00:38:04,248 That's the only way I'm going to get over this. 655 00:38:04,316 --> 00:38:06,399 What about your job? 656 00:38:10,757 --> 00:38:12,724 I will work tomorrow all day, 657 00:38:13,437 --> 00:38:15,803 but tonight, I just really need to have sex. 658 00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:17,686 Will you help me? 659 00:38:25,756 --> 00:38:27,485 Go on, girl! 660 00:38:28,237 --> 00:38:30,238 "RELISH: Karma Calling" 661 00:38:31,676 --> 00:38:33,566 "Come on you beautiful thing..." 662 00:38:34,276 --> 00:38:36,438 "Take me to the city that you live in" 663 00:38:36,516 --> 00:38:38,360 I don't know if this is such a good idea. 664 00:38:38,436 --> 00:38:40,757 Are you crazy? This is a perfect idea. 665 00:38:40,836 --> 00:38:42,440 Look at all the hot chicks, man. 666 00:38:42,516 --> 00:38:46,362 I'm going to keep bringing girls around here until you find one you like, OK? 667 00:38:46,436 --> 00:38:49,599 Then tickle, tickle, pinch, pinch. Know what I'm talking about? 668 00:38:49,676 --> 00:38:51,678 So just sit back, relax, and have fun. 669 00:38:54,195 --> 00:38:56,324 Hey hey! 670 00:38:56,395 --> 00:38:58,636 God, I've never wanted to be a gun more in my life. 671 00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:01,518 Whoa! 672 00:39:03,556 --> 00:39:05,046 Yeah! 673 00:39:05,115 --> 00:39:08,756 I'm don't know if I really feel that comfortable glorifying war. 674 00:39:08,836 --> 00:39:10,041 I am. 675 00:39:10,115 --> 00:39:11,641 Oh, thank you. 676 00:39:15,755 --> 00:39:18,235 Takes you back, doesn't it? Oh, man! 677 00:39:19,476 --> 00:39:21,443 Oh, yeah! 678 00:39:21,515 --> 00:39:23,722 It is graduation day, brother. 679 00:39:25,555 --> 00:39:27,523 Jesus Christ? 680 00:39:28,395 --> 00:39:31,160 Holy shit, woman. Haven't you ever heard of waxing? 681 00:39:31,235 --> 00:39:32,964 "BOSSHOUSE: You're Gonna Lose" 682 00:39:34,795 --> 00:39:36,763 Oh, yes! 683 00:39:37,595 --> 00:39:40,485 It's Uncle Sam's daughter. Outstanding! 684 00:39:41,715 --> 00:39:43,877 Oh, my God, and look at those tits. 685 00:39:45,915 --> 00:39:47,883 God bless America, man. 686 00:39:49,995 --> 00:39:52,566 I don't know if I'm feeling all that patriotic. 687 00:39:52,635 --> 00:39:55,320 You're fucking crazy, man. Here. Pay the woman. 688 00:39:59,434 --> 00:40:02,803 "And now, I know, whatever you do, you're gonna lose" 689 00:40:02,874 --> 00:40:04,842 No, honey, tuck it in the top. 690 00:40:04,915 --> 00:40:06,882 "I'm way ahead of you.” 691 00:40:07,955 --> 00:40:09,719 Owww! 692 00:40:09,795 --> 00:40:11,081 What? What? 693 00:40:11,155 --> 00:40:13,122 Ow! 694 00:40:13,194 --> 00:40:15,162 Oh, real cool, fellows. Come on. 695 00:40:15,234 --> 00:40:18,875 You know she's got more to worry about than paper cuts down there. 696 00:40:18,954 --> 00:40:21,099 Hey, this doesn't happen in Japan, my friend. 697 00:40:21,100 --> 00:40:23,243 It really doesn't. Thoroughly angry. 698 00:40:23,314 --> 00:40:26,284 Ed, did you see the reaction you got out of that woman? 699 00:40:26,354 --> 00:40:28,322 Phenomenal! Great start, buddy. 700 00:40:28,394 --> 00:40:30,681 That in there, that's not what I'm looking for. 701 00:40:30,754 --> 00:40:32,916 Have you ever heard the expression, 702 00:40:32,994 --> 00:40:35,695 "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but 703 00:40:35,696 --> 00:40:38,397 teach a man to fish and he'll eat forever“? 704 00:40:38,474 --> 00:40:40,157 You want to learn how to fish? 705 00:40:40,234 --> 00:40:41,201 No. 706 00:40:41,274 --> 00:40:43,845 I want to learn how to pick up a woman legitimately. 707 00:40:43,914 --> 00:40:46,440 I don't want to have to pay someone to sleep with me. 708 00:40:46,514 --> 00:40:48,481 I know, buddy. I know. 709 00:40:48,553 --> 00:40:51,602 I'll teach you how. I'll teach you how to pick up women. 710 00:40:51,674 --> 00:40:53,438 I'm your bro. You can count on me. 711 00:40:53,514 --> 00:40:54,924 You got tonight only. 712 00:40:54,993 --> 00:40:58,042 Well, not laid tonight only, but l want you to teach me. 713 00:40:58,113 --> 00:41:01,754 Tonight is your night. I mean, it's your birthday weekend, get it going. 714 00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:03,598 I'm the student. You're the Sensi. 715 00:41:03,673 --> 00:41:06,358 I will snow you the path to vagina enlightenment. 716 00:41:18,153 --> 00:41:21,123 Excuse me. You're putting your whites in with your colours. 717 00:41:21,192 --> 00:41:22,604 Is that bad? 718 00:41:22,673 --> 00:41:25,802 Well, it is if you don't want all your whites coming out pink. 719 00:41:25,873 --> 00:41:27,840 Oh, really? 720 00:41:27,913 --> 00:41:29,881 I'm such a moron. 721 00:41:35,953 --> 00:41:36,953 ..Do my own laundry. 722 00:41:37,032 --> 00:41:39,001 You were in Somalia? 723 00:41:39,073 --> 00:41:41,155 I would love to talk to you about that. 724 00:41:42,953 --> 00:41:44,920 Let me help you. 725 00:41:55,713 --> 00:42:00,274 And that is why Aids is a clear example of God punishing the blacks and the gays. 726 00:42:02,232 --> 00:42:05,281 - Tell me, do you... - Don't even get me started on the Jews. 727 00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:09,353 Ooh! 728 00:42:09,432 --> 00:42:11,196 That's me done. 729 00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:15,472 - Got to go. - Well, ehh... 730 00:42:15,552 --> 00:42:17,156 Want to get a drink or something? 731 00:42:17,231 --> 00:42:19,200 I'd love to. Ed? 732 00:42:21,191 --> 00:42:24,913 I don't see how the gym's going to be any better than the Laundromat. 733 00:42:25,631 --> 00:42:30,432 Well, we got tumble dryers on low, or big, sweaty, bouncing tits in a leotard. 734 00:42:31,472 --> 00:42:34,918 Oh, my God, look at her I bet she uses Kamasutra as a cool down. 735 00:42:35,791 --> 00:42:38,079 All right. You're up, iron man. Go get her. 736 00:42:39,111 --> 00:42:41,160 Come on, on the treadmill. Go, go, go. 737 00:42:47,471 --> 00:42:48,518 Aagh! 738 00:42:53,551 --> 00:42:56,031 Tough break, bro, but you know what? No worries. 739 00:42:56,110 --> 00:42:58,352 You know what women love more than anything? 740 00:42:58,431 --> 00:43:01,082 Men with babies. We're going to get a baby. 741 00:43:05,790 --> 00:43:07,361 Let's skip the babies. 742 00:43:07,431 --> 00:43:10,673 Yeah, good idea. I don't know anything about babies, anyway. 743 00:43:10,751 --> 00:43:13,834 - Come on. I got a better idea. - Watch it, I tore my sack. 744 00:43:13,911 --> 00:43:15,675 Beggars can't be choosers, buddy. 745 00:43:15,751 --> 00:43:18,641 And stay positive, Ed. We're doing great here, man. 746 00:43:18,711 --> 00:43:20,712 I'm not sure about this. 747 00:43:20,790 --> 00:43:23,158 Check her out. Look how she works that olive. 748 00:43:24,230 --> 00:43:27,313 That's fantastic. You want to get laid, don't you? 749 00:43:28,150 --> 00:43:29,481 Not that badly. 750 00:43:30,670 --> 00:43:32,240 Dude, dude. Here. 751 00:43:32,310 --> 00:43:34,199 Here 's your chance. Go. 752 00:43:34,270 --> 00:43:36,637 Go. Light her cigarette. Go. Be suave. 753 00:43:39,790 --> 00:43:41,156 Can I offer you a light? 754 00:43:41,230 --> 00:43:43,198 A gentleman. 755 00:43:43,270 --> 00:43:45,352 You're a rare breed. 756 00:43:57,070 --> 00:43:58,355 Sorry. 757 00:44:00,710 --> 00:44:03,475 You a Scotch drinker? I bet you are. 758 00:44:03,549 --> 00:44:05,518 Ooh, ooh! 759 00:44:05,590 --> 00:44:08,196 Have you ever been to Japan? 760 00:44:08,270 --> 00:44:11,034 Okinawa? No? Oh, it's beautiful there. 761 00:44:11,109 --> 00:44:13,350 Ifs a lot like this. You could Wear that. 762 00:44:13,430 --> 00:44:15,194 Maybe Tahiti, something like that? 763 00:44:15,270 --> 00:44:17,034 Are you ticklish? 764 00:44:17,109 --> 00:44:18,156 Put it out! 765 00:44:18,230 --> 00:44:20,197 Good as new. Good as new. 766 00:44:21,429 --> 00:44:23,397 Can I buy you another drink? 767 00:44:31,709 --> 00:44:34,280 That's it, I'm done. I'm done. 768 00:44:34,349 --> 00:44:36,316 I scraped the bottom of the barrel, 769 00:44:37,749 --> 00:44:39,990 and the bottom of the barrel rejected me. 770 00:44:42,949 --> 00:44:45,031 All right. Ifs time for a stiff drink. 771 00:44:45,988 --> 00:44:47,957 Go home. Get a good night's sleep. 772 00:44:48,789 --> 00:44:51,030 Wake up in the morning and work like a dog. 773 00:44:56,389 --> 00:44:59,517 Thanks, Randy. Appreciate it. Keep them coming, will you? 774 00:44:59,588 --> 00:45:01,557 "THE HOUSEMARTINS: Build" 775 00:45:04,308 --> 00:45:06,276 Vodka tonic. 776 00:45:08,348 --> 00:45:12,831 "Clambering men in big bad boots" 777 00:45:12,908 --> 00:45:16,310 "Dug up my den, dug up my roots..." 778 00:45:17,028 --> 00:45:18,518 Thanks. 779 00:45:21,828 --> 00:45:24,991 "They build us up and knocked us down" 780 00:45:29,348 --> 00:45:31,475 The guy at the end of the bar. 781 00:45:31,548 --> 00:45:33,357 Thanks. 782 00:45:33,428 --> 00:45:36,477 "From Meccano to Legoland" 783 00:45:37,308 --> 00:45:40,311 "Here they come with e brick in their hand" 784 00:45:41,828 --> 00:45:45,115 "Men with heads filled up with sand" 785 00:45:45,188 --> 00:45:48,749 "Ifs build" 786 00:45:48,828 --> 00:45:50,512 Can I buy you a drink? 787 00:45:50,588 --> 00:45:51,953 No, thanks. 788 00:45:57,628 --> 00:45:58,833 I'm kidding. 789 00:46:00,347 --> 00:46:02,315 I 'll have a Cosmopolitan. 790 00:46:03,387 --> 00:46:05,355 And a Cosmopolitan for the lady. 791 00:46:06,467 --> 00:46:09,391 So... what brings you here? 792 00:46:10,187 --> 00:46:12,269 My brother's ehm... 793 00:46:12,347 --> 00:46:14,190 Gone. Nice. 794 00:46:14,907 --> 00:46:16,989 You? What brings you here? 795 00:46:17,067 --> 00:46:18,228 My date. 796 00:46:20,507 --> 00:46:22,475 But it looks like he stood me up. 797 00:46:23,267 --> 00:46:25,348 He's an idiot if he has. 798 00:46:25,427 --> 00:46:27,110 Thanks. 799 00:46:28,667 --> 00:46:30,953 Hey. Here's to bad dates. 800 00:46:32,587 --> 00:46:34,554 You had some? 801 00:46:34,627 --> 00:46:36,595 Some? I've had them all. 802 00:46:37,867 --> 00:46:39,949 Dating should be outlawed. 803 00:46:40,027 --> 00:46:40,994 Amen. 804 00:46:41,066 --> 00:46:43,637 They should just bring back arranged marriages. 805 00:46:43,706 --> 00:46:45,709 Couldn't raise the divorce rate much higher. 806 00:46:45,787 --> 00:46:49,871 If we women didn't have to bother trying to find, meet and attract men, 807 00:46:49,946 --> 00:46:52,233 it would free up, what, 50 hours a week? 808 00:46:52,307 --> 00:46:53,273 Easily. 809 00:46:53,346 --> 00:46:57,192 And imagine what you women could achieve with that kind of extra time. 810 00:46:57,266 --> 00:47:00,315 Are you kidding? There'd be a Bloomingdale's on Mars. 811 00:47:01,026 --> 00:47:04,587 "Build a house where we can stay" 812 00:47:04,666 --> 00:47:06,031 "Build..." 813 00:47:06,106 --> 00:47:08,507 To being friends and nothing more. 814 00:47:09,946 --> 00:47:11,516 Ditto. 815 00:47:18,225 --> 00:47:20,274 You live here? 816 00:47:20,346 --> 00:47:21,916 Temporarily. 817 00:47:21,986 --> 00:47:24,227 My apartment is being repainted. 818 00:47:24,306 --> 00:47:26,274 I hope your apartment done soon. 819 00:47:27,306 --> 00:47:29,273 Damn it I'm out of coffee, Ed. 820 00:47:30,105 --> 00:47:32,267 That's OK. Coffee would keep me up all night. 821 00:47:35,305 --> 00:47:38,388 Will this... keep you up all night? 822 00:47:38,465 --> 00:47:40,593 "THE MANHATTANS: All I Need Is Your Love" 823 00:47:44,305 --> 00:47:46,273 "All I need is your love" 824 00:47:48,065 --> 00:47:50,033 "All I need is your love" 825 00:47:51,305 --> 00:47:53,148 "All right" 826 00:47:53,225 --> 00:47:56,229 "I don't want no real fine car" 827 00:47:56,945 --> 00:47:59,949 "I got a little money, it'll take me far" 828 00:48:00,505 --> 00:48:03,509 "I don't want no riches and fame" 829 00:48:03,585 --> 00:48:06,236 - Stop! Police! - I'm arresting you for soliciting. 830 00:48:07,304 --> 00:48:09,114 Are you crazy? She's not a prostitute. 831 00:48:09,185 --> 00:48:12,189 Wait outside for ten... three minutes, 832 00:48:12,904 --> 00:48:15,555 and... maybe we can work something out. 833 00:48:16,785 --> 00:48:21,029 There's been some sort of misunderstanding. I'm not supposed to be in here. 834 00:48:22,905 --> 00:48:24,872 Me too. 835 00:48:24,944 --> 00:48:28,074 This is a miscarriage of justice. 836 00:48:28,145 --> 00:48:30,273 They said I was drunk. 837 00:48:31,064 --> 00:48:33,305 If I was drunk, 838 00:48:34,064 --> 00:48:36,874 my breath would smell of booze. 839 00:48:37,704 --> 00:48:39,308 How does my breath smell? 840 00:48:44,024 --> 00:48:46,948 I'm here to bail out my brother, Ed Waxman. 841 00:48:48,824 --> 00:48:51,111 Fill in these forms. 842 00:48:56,344 --> 00:48:58,312 You got a pretty mouth. 843 00:48:59,224 --> 00:49:01,226 Shit, Cooper, please hurry. 844 00:49:01,304 --> 00:49:03,989 Well, you know, in Japan, I'm like Brad Pitt. 845 00:49:05,023 --> 00:49:06,628 Seriously. 846 00:49:06,703 --> 00:49:08,671 You smell nice. 847 00:49:10,144 --> 00:49:11,713 Hey, you like sushi? 848 00:49:11,784 --> 00:49:13,945 I bet you fuck like a bunny. 849 00:49:15,543 --> 00:49:18,228 Keep those cuffs when you're off duty? 850 00:49:18,303 --> 00:49:21,069 Faraday. Don't you have some crimes to solve? 851 00:49:21,143 --> 00:49:23,111 Sorry, sir. 852 00:49:27,103 --> 00:49:29,754 Brad Pitt, you done with those forms yet? 853 00:49:31,063 --> 00:49:33,031 There you go, my good sir. 854 00:49:33,103 --> 00:49:36,107 Now, why don't you go be a peach and get my brother out of there? 855 00:49:37,863 --> 00:49:39,433 I'll be outside. 856 00:49:44,382 --> 00:49:46,351 Is there an Ed Waxman here? 857 00:49:46,423 --> 00:49:48,390 Your bail's been posted. 858 00:49:48,463 --> 00:49:50,112 I'm Ed Waxman. 859 00:49:50,183 --> 00:49:51,992 Did you come in with any ID? 860 00:49:52,063 --> 00:49:54,030 - No, I lost my wallet. - Really? 861 00:49:54,102 --> 00:49:56,549 I can assure you I'm Ed Waxman. Just let me out. 862 00:49:56,622 --> 00:49:58,591 Oh, stop. 863 00:50:00,142 --> 00:50:02,111 I am Ed Waxman. 864 00:50:02,183 --> 00:50:03,514 That's bullshit. 865 00:50:03,582 --> 00:50:04,993 - Bullshit. - Can you prove it? 866 00:50:05,062 --> 00:50:07,713 Of course he can't prove it. He's not Ed Waxman. 867 00:50:07,782 --> 00:50:09,750 I prefer Edward, actually. 868 00:50:10,462 --> 00:50:12,112 And here's the proof. 869 00:50:14,142 --> 00:50:15,383 Out you come. 870 00:50:15,462 --> 00:50:16,907 Stand back from the door. 871 00:50:16,982 --> 00:50:19,553 He's wearing my shirt! I had it on. 872 00:50:19,622 --> 00:50:23,263 I wear an undershirt all the time, and I don't have one on right now. 873 00:50:23,342 --> 00:50:25,310 That's the shirt I wiped my ass with. 874 00:50:25,382 --> 00:50:27,146 I had Mexican food? 875 00:50:31,462 --> 00:50:33,226 Here's your brother. 876 00:50:33,302 --> 00:50:35,270 Where? 877 00:50:36,302 --> 00:50:37,463 There. 878 00:50:38,621 --> 00:50:40,067 That's not my brother. 879 00:50:40,821 --> 00:50:42,506 Well, he was positively ID'd. 880 00:50:42,581 --> 00:50:44,550 Well, you released the wrong guy. 881 00:50:45,581 --> 00:50:47,550 Now go inside and get my brother. 882 00:50:47,622 --> 00:50:49,305 There's nothing more I can do. 883 00:50:49,382 --> 00:50:53,466 Come back in the morning and sort it out with the Lieutenant. Night, night. 884 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,392 Where are you taking me? 885 00:51:05,461 --> 00:51:07,430 I'm taking you to an overnight cell. 886 00:51:08,341 --> 00:51:10,309 - Come here, bitch. - I can't... 887 00:51:10,381 --> 00:51:13,032 - Hey, cocksucker! - ..Spend the night in here. 888 00:51:13,101 --> 00:51:14,068 Sweetmeat. 889 00:51:14,141 --> 00:51:17,304 Well, it ain't the Holiday Inn, but... 890 00:51:18,981 --> 00:51:20,949 No, it's er... 891 00:51:21,020 --> 00:51:23,388 That's great. Thanks. 892 00:51:23,461 --> 00:51:25,064 Who is this guy? 893 00:51:25,141 --> 00:51:27,109 Some jerk that got caught with a pro. 894 00:51:27,180 --> 00:51:29,149 Feel sorry for him. 895 00:51:30,181 --> 00:51:32,149 I know you from somewhere. 896 00:51:32,221 --> 00:51:34,222 No, I don't think so. 897 00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:35,950 You're the pervert! 898 00:51:36,020 --> 00:51:38,388 - What? - You were at the park this morning. 899 00:51:38,461 --> 00:51:39,701 Propositioned a woman. 900 00:51:39,781 --> 00:51:42,307 Apparently he gets turned on by horse erections. 901 00:51:42,381 --> 00:51:44,110 When I approached the suspect, he ran. 902 00:51:44,181 --> 00:51:45,591 Did you do that? 903 00:51:46,341 --> 00:51:48,866 Well, I ran away, but it wasn't because of the... 904 00:51:48,941 --> 00:51:50,908 All right! I've heard enough. 905 00:51:50,980 --> 00:51:52,345 No, but... 906 00:51:52,420 --> 00:51:53,786 Pervert 907 00:51:54,820 --> 00:51:56,788 I'm not a pervert! Come on. 908 00:51:56,861 --> 00:51:58,828 I'm not a pervert! 909 00:52:05,219 --> 00:52:06,187 Hello. 910 00:52:06,900 --> 00:52:08,584 What are you in for? 911 00:52:08,660 --> 00:52:11,106 I had a misunderstanding with a prostitute. 912 00:52:11,180 --> 00:52:12,989 I didn't even... 913 00:52:13,060 --> 00:52:15,222 I was... What are you in for? 914 00:52:15,980 --> 00:52:18,631 Biggest black market Viagra dealer in America. 915 00:52:18,700 --> 00:52:20,144 Oh. 916 00:52:20,219 --> 00:52:22,301 But their case doesn't stand a chance. 917 00:52:22,379 --> 00:52:25,781 I managed to swallow most of my stash before they could impound it. 918 00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:35,309 You look nervous. 919 00:52:36,059 --> 00:52:37,823 - You nervous? - No. 920 00:52:40,659 --> 00:52:42,741 There is no reason we can't be friends. 921 00:52:43,779 --> 00:52:45,941 You look like a reasonable individual. 922 00:52:46,019 --> 00:52:50,229 So there's no reason to be nervous, because we just got to respect each other's space. 923 00:52:50,299 --> 00:52:51,664 The personal boundaries. 924 00:52:51,739 --> 00:52:53,707 The... The space. The boundaries. 925 00:52:53,778 --> 00:52:55,941 The per... The personal boundaries. 926 00:52:56,019 --> 00:52:57,987 Cooper Cooper. 927 00:52:58,059 --> 00:53:00,027 Cooper. 928 00:53:05,419 --> 00:53:06,830 OK Waxman. 929 00:53:09,699 --> 00:53:11,667 You're being released. 930 00:53:16,218 --> 00:53:18,187 Tray saved your ass this time, huh? 931 00:53:18,259 --> 00:53:20,226 Work. Got to go to work. 932 00:53:20,299 --> 00:53:22,063 Jesus, man. 933 00:53:22,139 --> 00:53:24,106 You're in no shape to go to the office. 934 00:53:24,178 --> 00:53:25,384 Come on. 935 00:53:25,458 --> 00:53:27,826 You can come with me on a little car ride, OK? 936 00:53:27,899 --> 00:53:29,866 Come on. Watch your dome, there. 937 00:53:29,938 --> 00:53:31,906 Oh. Ed, watch your head. 938 00:53:31,978 --> 00:53:33,946 Come on. Get in there. 939 00:53:34,738 --> 00:53:37,742 Get in there. There you go, buddy. Hold on to that. 940 00:53:42,618 --> 00:53:44,984 So, how'd you get arrested in the first place? 941 00:53:45,058 --> 00:53:46,981 I still don't understand it. 942 00:53:47,058 --> 00:53:48,423 I met a nice girl. 943 00:53:48,497 --> 00:53:52,344 She invites me back to her place, and it turns out she's a prostitute. 944 00:53:54,217 --> 00:53:56,186 What, did she ask you for money? 945 00:53:56,258 --> 00:53:58,022 No. That's the weird part. 946 00:53:58,097 --> 00:54:00,862 I thought you got the financial bit out of the way first. 947 00:54:00,938 --> 00:54:03,508 Yeah, yeah. That's the way I've always done it. 948 00:54:07,897 --> 00:54:09,501 Do you know what this means? 949 00:54:09,577 --> 00:54:10,739 What? 950 00:54:10,817 --> 00:54:12,468 She was off duty. 951 00:54:12,537 --> 00:54:14,301 She must've really liked you. 952 00:54:14,377 --> 00:54:17,102 Ed, a prostitute that's willing to give it away 953 00:54:17,103 --> 00:54:19,827 for free is worth at least two normal girls. 954 00:54:19,898 --> 00:54:21,467 - Really? - Hell, yeah, man! 955 00:54:21,537 --> 00:54:23,505 You are a stud, my friend. 956 00:54:23,577 --> 00:54:25,545 A total stud. 957 00:54:26,737 --> 00:54:29,343 And that Kim... God, was she nectar, huh? 958 00:54:29,417 --> 00:54:31,385 She was hot. She really was. 959 00:54:31,457 --> 00:54:33,425 I mean, you should have seen... 960 00:54:35,017 --> 00:54:36,781 How'd you know her name? 961 00:54:36,857 --> 00:54:38,302 You told me. 962 00:54:38,376 --> 00:54:39,902 No, I didn't. 963 00:54:39,977 --> 00:54:42,025 So how did you know her name was Kim? 964 00:54:42,776 --> 00:54:44,745 Well, she looked like a Kim. 965 00:54:44,817 --> 00:54:46,865 I mean, she had very Kimesque features. 966 00:54:46,937 --> 00:54:49,702 You paid her, didn't you? You paid her in advance. 967 00:54:49,776 --> 00:54:51,825 That's why she didn't ask for the money. 968 00:54:51,897 --> 00:54:54,423 No, I didn't. Hey, Ed, that's ludicrous! 969 00:54:54,497 --> 00:54:56,305 I was trying to build your self-esteem. 970 00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:58,561 Am I so pathetic that a woman's not going to 971 00:54:58,562 --> 00:55:00,745 sleep with me without financial incentive? 972 00:55:00,816 --> 00:55:02,785 Come on. That's not what I meant. 973 00:55:02,856 --> 00:55:04,824 Listen, you and I both know 974 00:55:04,897 --> 00:55:07,661 someday we'll look at this as brothers and laugh. 975 00:55:07,736 --> 00:55:10,899 You shitbag! Do you have any idea what I've been through? 976 00:55:10,976 --> 00:55:13,217 I was just trying to help. 977 00:55:13,297 --> 00:55:14,457 Help? 978 00:55:16,096 --> 00:55:18,383 Help? You helped me get a criminal record... 979 00:55:18,456 --> 00:55:23,223 when all I wanted to do was go to the office and save my career. 980 00:55:24,656 --> 00:55:26,545 And now that's gone, too. 981 00:55:26,616 --> 00:55:28,265 I should have never listened to you. 982 00:55:28,336 --> 00:55:29,303 Why... 983 00:55:32,175 --> 00:55:35,066 Ed, I think we need to take a little breath here. 984 00:55:35,136 --> 00:55:36,706 I mean, it's just a job. 985 00:55:38,536 --> 00:55:41,107 At least I've had a job in my lifetime, Coop. 986 00:55:41,176 --> 00:55:43,143 You've accomplished nothing. 987 00:55:43,215 --> 00:55:44,183 Nothing? 988 00:55:44,256 --> 00:55:47,817 Ed, in Japan, this is the eighth-most-recognised Western face. 989 00:55:47,896 --> 00:55:51,581 And one day they're going to replace that face, and you'll have nothing. 990 00:55:51,655 --> 00:55:53,225 And you'll be nothing. 991 00:55:53,295 --> 00:55:55,264 Because you've tried nothing. 992 00:55:56,495 --> 00:55:58,020 Hey, well, fuck you! 993 00:56:01,135 --> 00:56:03,297 Oh, shit. I'm sorry, Ed. 994 00:56:04,175 --> 00:56:05,142 Fuck. 995 00:56:05,215 --> 00:56:07,058 Just leave me alone. 996 00:56:09,455 --> 00:56:11,822 - Hey, Ed, what are you doing? - Going home. 997 00:56:11,895 --> 00:56:15,183 I really think somebody should take a look at that cut, man. 998 00:56:15,255 --> 00:56:17,542 You know what? I don't care what you think. 999 00:56:17,615 --> 00:56:21,221 All right? I'm really serious right now. I don't want to see your face. 1000 00:56:26,815 --> 00:56:28,783 Hey, Ed. Let's talk about this, man. 1001 00:56:28,855 --> 00:56:30,822 Hey, don't walk away. 1002 00:56:30,894 --> 00:56:32,863 I'm sorry you didn't get laid, man. 1003 00:56:32,935 --> 00:56:35,905 I'm sorry nobody wanted to sleep with you. Come back! 1004 00:56:35,975 --> 00:56:37,942 Hey, fuck Jo and Susie. 1005 00:56:38,014 --> 00:56:39,778 I know Rachel and Cassie. 1006 00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:41,982 Those chicks will fuck you at the same time! 1007 00:56:44,614 --> 00:56:46,582 - How are you doing? - Fine. 1008 00:56:48,934 --> 00:56:50,858 All I have is $1.05. 1009 00:56:50,934 --> 00:56:52,095 Wow. 1010 00:56:52,175 --> 00:56:53,664 It's a $1.10. 1011 00:56:53,734 --> 00:56:56,579 Yes, but all I have is $1.05. 1012 00:56:56,654 --> 00:57:00,136 So if you could cut me some slack, I'd really appreciate that, 1013 00:57:00,214 --> 00:57:02,216 because I spent last night in prison. 1014 00:57:03,454 --> 00:57:07,618 Oh, so you'd like special treatment because you're a felon? 1015 00:57:07,694 --> 00:57:10,663 I will come back tomorrow with the difference. 1016 00:57:10,734 --> 00:57:11,973 Twice the difference. 1017 00:57:12,054 --> 00:57:13,737 It doesn't work like that. 1018 00:57:14,613 --> 00:57:16,104 I want to go home. 1019 00:57:16,174 --> 00:57:20,099 Well, unless you've got $1.10, you ain't going nowhere. 1020 00:57:22,174 --> 00:57:24,415 What is wrong with you people? 1021 00:57:24,494 --> 00:57:26,258 I pay my taxes! 1022 00:57:27,013 --> 00:57:28,982 I don't throw trash on the street. 1023 00:57:29,053 --> 00:57:31,500 I don't piss in alleyways or graffiti walls! 1024 00:57:31,574 --> 00:57:34,657 I don't even have children in the public school system. 1025 00:57:34,733 --> 00:57:38,294 I recycle my glass, my paper, my plastics. 1026 00:57:38,373 --> 00:57:42,014 I'm a good person, and I just want a bus token. 1027 00:57:42,813 --> 00:57:44,338 Bye. 1028 00:57:45,973 --> 00:57:47,941 That's it? That's it? 1029 00:57:48,773 --> 00:57:50,741 If I'm not going home, no-one is! 1030 00:57:54,933 --> 00:57:56,901 You just can't keep out of trouble. 1031 00:57:56,973 --> 00:57:58,623 Fuck! Where did you come from? 1032 00:57:58,693 --> 00:57:59,979 Yes! 1033 00:58:00,052 --> 00:58:02,420 This is a perfect ending to a perfect weekend. 1034 00:58:02,493 --> 00:58:04,621 I'm arresting you for disturbing the peace. 1035 00:58:04,693 --> 00:58:06,660 I just want a bus token. 1036 00:58:06,732 --> 00:58:08,098 And for begging. 1037 00:58:08,173 --> 00:58:09,618 Here you go. 1038 00:58:12,133 --> 00:58:13,373 Do you know this guy? 1039 00:58:13,453 --> 00:58:15,615 We live in the same apartment building. 1040 00:58:15,693 --> 00:58:17,217 I'll take him home. 1041 00:58:18,813 --> 00:58:20,497 All right. 1042 00:58:20,573 --> 00:58:22,540 - Lf you're sure. - Mm-hm. 1043 00:58:30,692 --> 00:58:32,660 Are you OK? 1044 00:58:33,812 --> 00:58:34,779 Yeah. 1045 00:58:39,372 --> 00:58:41,340 Go on, now. Blow. 1046 00:58:41,412 --> 00:58:43,733 Come on. 1047 00:58:46,372 --> 00:58:47,338 Eugh 1048 00:58:47,412 --> 00:58:49,061 I'm sorry. 1049 00:58:49,132 --> 00:58:54,218 It's been a hell of a 48 hours and l guess it all just got a little on top of me. 1050 00:58:55,052 --> 00:58:57,658 So what's happened, if you don't mind my asking? 1051 00:59:00,172 --> 00:59:01,936 I haven't had sex in over a year. 1052 00:59:02,731 --> 00:59:04,460 Well, I can see how that would... 1053 00:59:04,531 --> 00:59:07,580 And my ex, who I was really hoping to get back together with... 1054 00:59:08,292 --> 00:59:10,532 - got married. - That is just... 1055 00:59:10,611 --> 00:59:14,536 I got arrested last night for picking up a prostitute. 1056 00:59:18,131 --> 00:59:20,100 I didn't know she was a prostitute. 1057 00:59:20,171 --> 00:59:23,015 - Well, no wonder you're just... - And because of that, 1058 00:59:23,091 --> 00:59:26,777 I spent the night in a prison cell fending off the amorous advances 1059 00:59:26,851 --> 00:59:30,742 of a very giant man with a pierced scrotum. 1060 00:59:48,210 --> 00:59:50,179 Must be more dead animals about. 1061 00:59:51,491 --> 00:59:53,573 - You can fart on command? - You can't? 1062 00:59:54,611 --> 00:59:56,578 I tried once, but just shat myself. 1063 00:59:57,330 --> 00:59:59,298 It's not something you try twice. 1064 01:00:01,450 --> 01:00:03,419 - Whoa. It's a big cat. - Yeah. 1065 01:00:06,170 --> 01:00:08,298 - I hope the door opens soon. - Yeah. 1066 01:00:13,570 --> 01:00:15,538 Uh, thanks for the bus token. 1067 01:00:15,610 --> 01:00:18,375 I'm feeling a lot... saner now. 1068 01:00:18,450 --> 01:00:20,418 Has anyone looked at that? 1069 01:00:21,170 --> 01:00:22,535 It'll heal. 1070 01:00:22,610 --> 01:00:24,578 Come on. It looks really nasty. 1071 01:00:24,650 --> 01:00:27,017 I got some antiseptic stuff and a Band-Aid. 1072 01:00:27,089 --> 01:00:28,660 Come on. 1073 01:00:32,130 --> 01:00:34,097 Wow. Those are great. 1074 01:00:34,169 --> 01:00:36,138 Who are they by? 1075 01:00:36,210 --> 01:00:39,452 A little known contemporary photographer, Ellen Reece. 1076 01:00:40,209 --> 01:00:42,178 She's very talented. 1077 01:00:42,250 --> 01:00:44,217 Why, thank you. 1078 01:00:45,889 --> 01:00:47,653 - Ellen? - Yeah. 1079 01:00:47,729 --> 01:00:49,698 I'm sorry. I never asked your name. 1080 01:00:49,770 --> 01:00:51,737 - I'm Ed Waxman. - Hi. 1081 01:00:53,089 --> 01:00:55,058 You do this professionally? 1082 01:00:55,129 --> 01:00:57,097 I do now. 1083 01:00:57,170 --> 01:01:01,254 I was a model for a long time, but I quit to spend more time behind the camera. 1084 01:01:01,329 --> 01:01:03,297 That's very brave. 1085 01:01:03,370 --> 01:01:05,337 Not really. 1086 01:01:05,409 --> 01:01:07,673 You're not brave to do what you really want to do. 1087 01:01:07,674 --> 01:01:09,938 You're just an idiot if you don't. 1088 01:01:10,009 --> 01:01:11,579 Do you want a BLT? 1089 01:01:12,289 --> 01:01:14,451 I am so hungry. Yes, please. 1090 01:01:17,649 --> 01:01:19,616 You never told me what you do. 1091 01:01:19,689 --> 01:01:21,134 Advertising. 1092 01:01:22,169 --> 01:01:24,409 You definitely getting fired tomorrow? 1093 01:01:24,488 --> 01:01:25,854 Yep. 1094 01:01:26,608 --> 01:01:29,135 "MY LITTLE DOG CHINA: then You Know They're Wrong" 1095 01:01:31,008 --> 01:01:32,977 "You call to me" 1096 01:01:33,409 --> 01:01:35,138 "When your friends steer you wrong" 1097 01:01:35,888 --> 01:01:37,493 "And you treat them like an angel..." 1098 01:01:37,568 --> 01:01:40,651 I was planning on working this weekend. Really buckling down. 1099 01:01:40,728 --> 01:01:44,495 But I got sidetracked by my brother's futile attempt to get me laid. 1100 01:01:45,208 --> 01:01:48,929 You could say the only thing that got fucked this weekend was my career. 1101 01:01:49,648 --> 01:01:50,979 Sorry to hear it. 1102 01:01:51,049 --> 01:01:54,894 "Just act like they're right when you know they're wrong" 1103 01:01:54,969 --> 01:01:56,430 "Just act like they're right when you know..." 1104 01:01:56,431 --> 01:01:57,892 - Hold on. Ed! 1105 01:01:57,968 --> 01:01:59,413 Ed, Ed. 1106 01:01:59,488 --> 01:02:00,853 Sorry. 1107 01:02:00,928 --> 01:02:02,851 I thought you were someone else. 1108 01:02:02,928 --> 01:02:06,216 You know, i'm... I'm just not good with the women. 1109 01:02:07,008 --> 01:02:08,976 I'm not like my brother Cooper. 1110 01:02:09,047 --> 01:02:10,333 Thank God. 1111 01:02:10,407 --> 01:02:11,295 What? 1112 01:02:11,368 --> 01:02:14,531 That guy is the most self-centred, shallow person I've ever met. 1113 01:02:17,688 --> 01:02:19,212 Have you seen this man? 1114 01:02:19,288 --> 01:02:20,733 "I know it hurts." 1115 01:02:20,808 --> 01:02:22,810 - Uh-uh. - No? 1116 01:02:23,848 --> 01:02:25,418 OK. 1117 01:02:26,328 --> 01:02:27,977 How about that man? 1118 01:02:28,047 --> 01:02:30,209 - Uh-uh. - Thanks. 1119 01:02:32,647 --> 01:02:36,618 Do not think that Cooper is the ideal man that all women are looking for. 1120 01:02:37,447 --> 01:02:41,497 To be honest, I think it's a bit sad that a guy needs to have constant reassurance 1121 01:02:41,567 --> 01:02:43,331 that he's desirable. 1122 01:02:43,407 --> 01:02:45,409 It's a massive sign of insecurity. 1123 01:02:47,488 --> 01:02:49,455 You are so much more... 1124 01:02:52,407 --> 01:02:54,375 "You don't need to tell me" 1125 01:02:54,447 --> 01:02:58,816 "Love is like an enemy" 1126 01:02:59,447 --> 01:03:01,415 "If ever you should stumble" 1127 01:03:01,927 --> 01:03:03,895 "You just need a friend" 1128 01:03:04,567 --> 01:03:06,251 "You don't need to bend" 1129 01:03:06,967 --> 01:03:11,733 "Just act like you're right when you know you're wrong" 1130 01:03:11,807 --> 01:03:14,252 Yeah, OK. You're sure you haven't seen him? 1131 01:03:15,286 --> 01:03:17,255 Not since the sixth grade? 1132 01:03:18,407 --> 01:03:19,374 OK. 1133 01:03:19,447 --> 01:03:22,417 No, no. Ehh... thanks, Spence. 1134 01:03:22,487 --> 01:03:26,571 If he does happen to get in touch with you tonight, give me a call, all right? 1135 01:03:26,646 --> 01:03:28,615 No, I don't expect him to either. 1136 01:03:55,765 --> 01:03:57,734 Hi, God. 1137 01:03:58,525 --> 01:04:00,494 Cooper waxman here. 1138 01:04:00,566 --> 01:04:02,806 I know I haven't been in touch for a while. 1139 01:04:04,165 --> 01:04:06,736 You might Know me better as the Glen Kyoto Man? 1140 01:04:09,606 --> 01:04:11,370 My brother Ed has sort of gone missing. 1141 01:04:11,446 --> 01:04:15,291 Well, we argued, and he got this really nasty bump on his head, 1142 01:04:15,366 --> 01:04:17,049 and I haven't heard from him since. 1143 01:04:17,126 --> 01:04:20,493 So I was thinking maybe you could just go have a quick look around for him 1144 01:04:20,565 --> 01:04:22,454 and bring him back home. 1145 01:04:22,525 --> 01:04:24,493 Now, I know what you're thinking. 1146 01:04:25,525 --> 01:04:28,705 You're thinking, "Well, sure, l could do that 1147 01:04:28,706 --> 01:04:31,885 for you, Cooper, but what's in it for me?" 1148 01:04:32,925 --> 01:04:34,893 And fair enough. 1149 01:04:34,965 --> 01:04:35,613 So... 1150 01:04:35,685 --> 01:04:37,255 I tell you what. 1151 01:04:37,325 --> 01:04:41,295 If you find Ed and you bring him back home safely, 1152 01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:44,287 I'll give up one-night stands for eh... 1153 01:04:48,525 --> 01:04:50,492 Come on, God. I'm only human. 1154 01:04:55,965 --> 01:04:57,932 I got it. 1155 01:04:58,765 --> 01:05:00,732 And this is fair. 1156 01:05:03,244 --> 01:05:05,929 I'll lead the sort of life that Ed Wants me to lead. 1157 01:05:06,724 --> 01:05:09,933 I'll give up the ads, give up the daytime soaps, 1158 01:05:10,004 --> 01:05:12,974 and I will concentrate on serious acting jobs. 1159 01:05:15,284 --> 01:05:17,252 Is it a deal? 1160 01:05:22,244 --> 01:05:24,212 It's a deal. 1161 01:05:25,244 --> 01:05:28,453 So stop hanging around here feeling so pleased with yourself 1162 01:05:28,523 --> 01:05:30,413 and get out there and find my brother. 1163 01:05:30,484 --> 01:05:32,885 "THE LIBERTINES: Don't Look Back Into The Sun" 1164 01:05:33,604 --> 01:05:35,571 "Don't look back into the sun" 1165 01:05:36,564 --> 01:05:38,532 "Now you know that the time is come" 1166 01:05:39,284 --> 01:05:42,766 "And they said it would never come for you, oh, oh,oh, oh" 1167 01:05:44,043 --> 01:05:46,285 "Oh, my friend, you haven't changed" 1168 01:05:47,003 --> 01:05:48,972 "You're looking rough and living strange" 1169 01:05:49,044 --> 01:05:53,685 "And I know you've got a taste for it too, oh, oh,oh, oh" 1170 01:05:54,724 --> 01:05:56,886 "Don't look back into the sun" 1171 01:05:56,963 --> 01:05:59,250 "You cast your cards, but you're on the run" 1172 01:06:07,403 --> 01:06:09,087 Hey. 1173 01:06:09,923 --> 01:06:11,891 I must've fallen asleep. 1174 01:06:12,923 --> 01:06:15,688 You looked so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb you. 1175 01:06:17,122 --> 01:06:18,090 OK. 1176 01:06:18,963 --> 01:06:20,727 I'm going to go now. 1177 01:06:20,803 --> 01:06:22,214 I better go, so... 1178 01:06:22,283 --> 01:06:23,249 Sorry. 1179 01:06:23,322 --> 01:06:25,051 Don't be sorry. 1180 01:06:25,763 --> 01:06:27,730 You were very snuggly, it was nice. 1181 01:06:29,243 --> 01:06:30,210 Really? 1182 01:06:30,282 --> 01:06:31,853 Mm-hm. 1183 01:06:31,923 --> 01:06:33,890 You're welcome to stay, if you want to. 1184 01:06:37,203 --> 01:06:38,169 OK. 1185 01:06:39,842 --> 01:06:42,732 I guess I could... stay. 1186 01:06:42,803 --> 01:06:44,770 If you'd like to. 1187 01:06:46,562 --> 01:06:48,485 I could use the sleep. 1188 01:06:49,242 --> 01:06:51,211 "Central Park" 1189 01:06:51,922 --> 01:06:55,244 "I feel lost like the '60s" 1190 01:06:55,322 --> 01:06:58,326 "Had way too much of this city" 1191 01:06:59,202 --> 01:07:01,853 "And no girlfriend to miss me" 1192 01:07:02,402 --> 01:07:05,611 "it's a perfect day to start" 1193 01:07:06,082 --> 01:07:08,847 "Looking for my new sweetheart" 1194 01:07:10,242 --> 01:07:12,210 Oh 1195 01:07:16,082 --> 01:07:17,048 Oh! 1196 01:07:17,121 --> 01:07:19,090 Yeah. 1197 01:07:19,162 --> 01:07:20,606 Oh, God. 1198 01:07:27,882 --> 01:07:29,849 - I'm going to come. - Oh, no. 1199 01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:32,572 - I'm going to come. - No, not yet. Just a little longer. 1200 01:07:32,642 --> 01:07:33,767 What? 1201 01:07:37,201 --> 01:07:39,090 "All the girls come out" 1202 01:07:39,161 --> 01:07:42,085 "The girls come out" 1203 01:07:50,201 --> 01:07:51,407 Come on! 1204 01:07:51,481 --> 01:07:53,688 Oh. Come on! 1205 01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:05,649 Holy shit! That's it, I've got it! 1206 01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:08,042 - I've got it. - You've got what? 1207 01:08:08,121 --> 01:08:10,362 - I've got an idea for work. - What? 1208 01:08:13,680 --> 01:08:15,444 Oh, that's romantic. 1209 01:08:15,521 --> 01:08:17,488 Oh, no. That's not what I mean. 1210 01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:19,642 I wasn't even thinking about work. Not at all. 1211 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:21,291 But it just suddenly hit me. 1212 01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:24,045 You know, the idea I've been looking for all weekend. 1213 01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:26,646 So, I got to go. I can save my career. 1214 01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:34,449 You know what, though? 1215 01:08:35,480 --> 01:08:37,448 That was amazing. 1216 01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:39,045 You were amazing. 1217 01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:42,362 You are the best thing that has happened to me since... 1218 01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:46,850 ..Ever. 1219 01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:52,527 I got to go. 1220 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:56,170 "THE ONLY ONES: Another Girl Another Planet" 1221 01:08:56,960 --> 01:08:58,086 Hey, Ed. 1222 01:08:58,159 --> 01:09:00,925 Where have you been, man? I've been worried sick. 1223 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:04,971 I called everybody in your address book. I've been to the hospitals and mortuaries. 1224 01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:06,450 Where's the camera? 1225 01:09:06,519 --> 01:09:10,444 I've been worried sick. With that bump on your head, you could've had amnesia. 1226 01:09:10,519 --> 01:09:12,760 Been wandering round not knowing who you were, 1227 01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:17,049 and I'd find you years later as an old man when l take my grandchildren to the circus, 1228 01:09:17,119 --> 01:09:20,009 only to discover my long-lost brother in ring three 1229 01:09:20,079 --> 01:09:24,129 being the bull's-eye for a game of butt darts by the midget pirates. 1230 01:09:24,199 --> 01:09:26,645 I was having sex with the gorgeous woman down the hall. 1231 01:09:26,719 --> 01:09:29,608 I don't care about the whole getting laid thing. 1232 01:09:29,679 --> 01:09:31,761 You don't need to lie. I'm just glad you're OK. 1233 01:09:33,879 --> 01:09:34,846 Ed? 1234 01:09:34,919 --> 01:09:36,728 Oh, you left this at my place. 1235 01:09:36,799 --> 01:09:38,449 Call me. 1236 01:09:38,519 --> 01:09:40,487 Oh, man. 1237 01:09:40,558 --> 01:09:42,527 Now, that's impressive! 1238 01:09:44,039 --> 01:09:46,645 Guess that's why they call you the Almighty, huh? 1239 01:09:46,718 --> 01:09:49,120 - Hey, where's the video camera? - The video camera? 1240 01:09:49,199 --> 01:09:51,166 - Yeah, I need it now. - OK. 1241 01:09:51,238 --> 01:09:52,206 Fuck? 1242 01:09:52,279 --> 01:09:55,283 "I think I'm on another world with you" 1243 01:09:56,719 --> 01:09:58,243 "With you" 1244 01:09:58,678 --> 01:10:02,000 "I'm on another planet with you..." 1245 01:10:02,078 --> 01:10:03,489 Ed, what are you doing? 1246 01:10:04,959 --> 01:10:06,723 Getting my job back. 1247 01:10:06,798 --> 01:10:08,721 "Another girl, another planet" 1248 01:10:13,798 --> 01:10:15,368 Go get 'em. 1249 01:10:25,838 --> 01:10:28,762 What happened? Did you get all the footage you needed? 1250 01:10:29,798 --> 01:10:30,958 You kidding? 1251 01:10:31,998 --> 01:10:34,882 I was crazy to think that in just one clay I could 1252 01:10:34,883 --> 01:10:37,767 film all the stuff that took years to fill my archive, 1253 01:10:38,638 --> 01:10:42,278 I mean, I threw away everything I needed to save my career. 1254 01:10:42,357 --> 01:10:44,326 You want your archived footage? 1255 01:10:44,398 --> 01:10:46,365 Come with me. 1256 01:10:47,398 --> 01:10:49,877 Coop, it is too late, OK? 1257 01:10:49,958 --> 01:10:52,165 The meeting takes place at three o'clock. 1258 01:10:52,238 --> 01:10:54,205 - I'm screwed. - Then we'd better hustle. 1259 01:10:54,277 --> 01:10:55,927 Come on. I got a surprise for you. 1260 01:10:55,997 --> 01:10:57,966 "GOIVIEZ: Whippin' Piccadilly" 1261 01:11:01,438 --> 01:11:04,043 - What are we doing at Mom and Dad's place? - Come on. 1262 01:11:11,917 --> 01:11:15,046 "Once upon a time, not too long ago" 1263 01:11:15,956 --> 01:11:19,086 "We took a day out in Manchester.” 1264 01:11:20,077 --> 01:11:22,284 Thought these might come in handy one day. 1265 01:11:22,357 --> 01:11:24,324 Go ahead. 1266 01:11:27,876 --> 01:11:31,437 "Played a bit of football, fell into the union" 1267 01:11:31,517 --> 01:11:35,078 "Barged our way into the toilet..." 1268 01:11:35,157 --> 01:11:36,807 This could do it. 1269 01:11:36,877 --> 01:11:37,957 Yeah? 1270 01:11:38,916 --> 01:11:39,884 Shit. 1271 01:11:40,757 --> 01:11:42,326 We got to go. 1272 01:11:48,677 --> 01:11:49,359 Shit! 1273 01:11:50,996 --> 01:11:51,963 Oh, God. 1274 01:11:52,036 --> 01:11:55,438 "I remember seeing someone dressed in a suit" 1275 01:11:55,956 --> 01:11:57,720 "Looking like a lunatic..." 1276 01:11:57,796 --> 01:11:59,560 Found it. Here you go. 1277 01:11:59,636 --> 01:12:01,604 "And we all fall down" 1278 01:12:01,676 --> 01:12:04,998 "There's not enough hours in our trip" 1279 01:12:07,115 --> 01:12:10,086 So we have clearly not been responsive to your needs. 1280 01:12:10,996 --> 01:12:12,964 I mean, Great Bridge is a leader. 1281 01:12:13,036 --> 01:12:14,879 It's an innovator. 1282 01:12:15,596 --> 01:12:17,963 It's a groundbreaking insurance company. 1283 01:12:18,036 --> 01:12:20,276 It's unique. It's exciting. 1284 01:12:20,355 --> 01:12:23,565 With inspired leadership, if I may be so bold. 1285 01:12:23,636 --> 01:12:27,083 Let me ask you, what type of advertising are we talking about? 1286 01:12:28,115 --> 01:12:31,563 Well, I think we need to have a face of Great Bridge Insurance. 1287 01:12:31,635 --> 01:12:35,117 A spokesman. Someone who represents everything we stand for. 1288 01:12:35,195 --> 01:12:37,846 Someone attractive, intelligent, approachable. 1289 01:12:38,556 --> 01:12:39,522 Hmm. 1290 01:12:39,595 --> 01:12:41,359 Anyone in mind? 1291 01:12:41,435 --> 01:12:42,402 Yes. 1292 01:12:43,396 --> 01:12:44,362 Me. 1293 01:12:46,235 --> 01:12:47,202 Right. 1294 01:12:47,275 --> 01:12:50,199 Well, l think we've got ourselves a poster boy. 1295 01:12:50,275 --> 01:12:52,004 I knew we could work together. 1296 01:12:52,715 --> 01:12:55,525 You guys are un-fucking-believable. 1297 01:12:55,595 --> 01:12:57,359 We try. 1298 01:12:57,434 --> 01:13:00,041 And you're fired. I hate ass kissers. 1299 01:13:00,114 --> 01:13:03,243 If I wanted a bunch of sycophants who are only after my money, 1300 01:13:03,315 --> 01:13:05,283 I could just hang out with my family. 1301 01:13:05,354 --> 01:13:07,756 - Mr Lamson, have a seat. - Weren't you fired? 1302 01:13:07,835 --> 01:13:09,359 Shut up, Roger. 1303 01:13:10,515 --> 01:13:12,995 Mr Lanson, I think you're going to like this. 1304 01:13:19,794 --> 01:13:21,365 Oh, fuck! 1305 01:13:27,034 --> 01:13:29,002 Oh, Shit! Urghl. 1306 01:13:31,634 --> 01:13:33,557 Aaagh! 1307 01:13:35,394 --> 01:13:36,806 Aaargh! 1308 01:13:37,834 --> 01:13:38,915 Aargh! 1309 01:13:39,994 --> 01:13:41,564 Ohh! 1310 01:13:43,274 --> 01:13:44,241 Urgh! 1311 01:13:48,394 --> 01:13:50,441 The unexpected happens all the time. 1312 01:13:52,633 --> 01:13:55,239 With Great Bridge Insurance, you're covered. 1313 01:13:59,273 --> 01:14:01,355 And so Ed won the account back. 1314 01:14:01,433 --> 01:14:04,039 He got Frank's office and business boomed. 1315 01:14:04,113 --> 01:14:07,402 To show there was no hard feelings, he even let Roger stay. 1316 01:14:08,113 --> 01:14:11,323 Ed and Ellen moved in together and I heard that Cathy got fat 1317 01:14:11,393 --> 01:14:13,834 and Jack caught a disease which caused his 1318 01:14:13,835 --> 01:14:16,274 testicles to swell to the size of cantaloupes. 1319 01:14:16,353 --> 01:14:18,924 Talk about everything working out perfectly. 1320 01:14:18,993 --> 01:14:20,962 It's your brother's big day, huh? 1321 01:14:22,193 --> 01:14:24,161 Wish him luck from me. 1322 01:14:25,513 --> 01:14:27,083 And yes. 1323 01:14:27,153 --> 01:14:29,121 I even kept my promise to God. 1324 01:14:29,193 --> 01:14:33,164 I don't know if it was such a good idea to give up those ads and stuff, man. 1325 01:14:33,233 --> 01:14:34,803 Are you kidding? 1326 01:14:34,873 --> 01:14:39,242 Cooper, in your first serious acting audition, you landed the role of Hamlet. 1327 01:14:39,313 --> 01:14:41,441 - That's massive. - Yeah. 1328 01:14:41,513 --> 01:14:43,214 I don't know. I'm sweating like a bullet here. 1329 01:14:43,215 --> 01:14:44,915 I'm nervous as hell. 1330 01:14:46,512 --> 01:14:48,241 You're going to be great, Coop. 1331 01:14:48,313 --> 01:14:50,281 Good luck. 1332 01:14:53,832 --> 01:14:55,483 Oh, hey, Ed. 1333 01:14:58,232 --> 01:15:00,200 Hey, man, thanks for coming, huh? 1334 01:15:01,553 --> 01:15:03,520 I Wouldn't miss it for the World. 1335 01:15:04,552 --> 01:15:05,998 I'm proud of you. 1336 01:15:07,512 --> 01:15:09,480 Thanks, bud. 1337 01:15:15,192 --> 01:15:16,956 Here we go. 1338 01:15:19,112 --> 01:15:21,080 And in this harsh world. 1339 01:15:22,072 --> 01:15:25,440 Draw thy breath in pain, to tell my story. 1340 01:15:27,551 --> 01:15:30,600 And the rest is silence. 1341 01:15:34,111 --> 01:15:36,479 "DAVID ESSEX: Hold Me Close" 1342 01:15:49,511 --> 01:15:53,357 "Hold me close, don't let me go" 1343 01:15:54,391 --> 01:15:56,155 "Oh, no" 1344 01:15:56,591 --> 01:15:57,956 "'I" 1345 01:15:58,031 --> 01:16:00,875 "Yes, I love you and I think that you Know" 1346 01:16:01,871 --> 01:16:02,838 "That you know" 1347 01:16:02,912 --> 01:16:06,632 "'With your love light shining" 1348 01:16:07,231 --> 01:16:10,393 "Every cloud's got a silver lining" 1349 01:16:10,471 --> 01:16:12,439 Jesus Christ? 1350 01:16:18,231 --> 01:16:21,121 Holy shit, woman. Haven't you ever heard of waxing? 1351 01:16:24,191 --> 01:16:25,158 Shit? 1352 01:16:25,231 --> 01:16:27,199 It's your line that gets me. 1353 01:16:27,271 --> 01:16:29,433 I got it this time Third time's a charm. 1354 01:16:30,471 --> 01:16:32,438 I can't even listen to you. 1355 01:16:32,511 --> 01:16:34,239 I can't listen to you. 1356 01:16:34,751 --> 01:16:36,718 And were you close to the deceased? 1357 01:16:36,790 --> 01:16:38,759 I was her lover. 1358 01:16:38,830 --> 01:16:40,993 Oh, my. So you have your liquor license? 1359 01:16:46,030 --> 01:16:47,999 I bet you fart like a bunny. 1360 01:16:52,550 --> 01:16:54,837 I like fart like a bunny. 1361 01:16:56,470 --> 01:16:58,757 But what can we now take away from her life? 1362 01:17:03,150 --> 01:17:04,117 Mark. 1363 01:17:04,669 --> 01:17:06,815 And I'd find you years from now, as an old man 1364 01:17:06,816 --> 01:17:08,959 when I take my grandchildren to the circus, 1365 01:17:09,029 --> 01:17:12,192 only to discover my long-lost brother dangling from the trapeze 1366 01:17:12,270 --> 01:17:15,319 by the business end of some Chinese anal beads. 1367 01:17:15,390 --> 01:17:16,072 Mark. 1368 01:17:16,149 --> 01:17:18,294 And I'd find you years from now, as an old man 1369 01:17:18,295 --> 01:17:20,438 when I take my grandchildren to the circus, 1370 01:17:20,509 --> 01:17:23,292 only to discover my long-lost brother in the tank 1371 01:17:23,293 --> 01:17:26,074 getting mounted by the transvestite hippo lady. 1372 01:17:27,790 --> 01:17:30,156 Now why would God take the life of one so hot, 1373 01:17:30,989 --> 01:17:36,632 when there are so many ugly, loose, gross bitches to choose from? 1374 01:17:37,349 --> 01:17:38,317 Fuck. 1375 01:17:38,389 --> 01:17:40,551 Just fucking lightning bolt their ass. 1376 01:17:40,629 --> 01:17:44,874 We've got these beautiful... pristine, tight-Iipped, wonderful angels. 1377 01:17:48,309 --> 01:17:50,277 Forget it. 1378 01:17:51,349 --> 01:17:52,635 What'd you do? 1379 01:17:53,149 --> 01:17:54,913 It was, like, seven, eight, maybe nine times. 1380 01:17:54,914 --> 01:17:56,676 I'm peeing on her. 1381 01:17:56,748 --> 01:17:58,989 She's down there. She's licking my star. 1382 01:17:59,069 --> 01:18:00,480 I'm blowing it in her hair. 1383 01:18:00,549 --> 01:18:01,914 Is she into bestiality? 1384 01:18:01,988 --> 01:18:05,277 My next-door neighbour's got a Great Dane and she's trying to get him... 1385 01:18:05,349 --> 01:18:08,989 She's putting peanut butter all over her snoochy and stuff like that. 1386 01:18:09,068 --> 01:18:10,673 That's not right, is it? 1387 01:18:10,748 --> 01:18:12,933 She got my lob wedge, and she's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah. 1388 01:18:12,934 --> 01:18:15,117 "I got to get the thing regripped. 1389 01:18:15,829 --> 01:18:17,796 Oh, mah, yeah. She's cool though. 1390 01:18:17,868 --> 01:18:19,837 We talked a lot. 1391 01:18:19,908 --> 01:18:22,275 It was nice. She's really sensitive. Yeah. 1392 01:18:22,348 --> 01:18:25,431 But she was shoving my GI Joe up there and stuff like that. 1393 01:18:26,548 --> 01:18:27,913 "BOSSHOUSE: Let's Kick It In" 1394 01:18:27,988 --> 01:18:29,956 "l really feel" 1395 01:18:30,428 --> 01:18:32,396 "Feel like you want me to" 1396 01:18:33,228 --> 01:18:35,197 "Do you feel" 1397 01:18:35,268 --> 01:18:37,236 "Feel like I want you to?" 1398 01:18:38,068 --> 01:18:39,832 "'L really feel" 1399 01:18:40,308 --> 01:18:42,276 "Feel like you want me to" 1400 01:18:43,068 --> 01:18:44,831 "Do you feel?" 1401 01:18:45,228 --> 01:18:47,196 "'L really feel it" 1402 01:18:47,708 --> 01:18:49,675 "Do, Do you feel?" 1403 01:18:50,187 --> 01:18:52,156 "Because l really feel it too" 1404 01:18:52,827 --> 01:18:54,671 "Do you feel it" 1405 01:18:55,108 --> 01:18:57,076 "Just like I want you to?" 1406 01:18:57,587 --> 01:18:59,556 "Yeah, do you feel it?" 1407 01:19:00,108 --> 01:19:02,075 "Do, Do you feel it?"