在纽约 法律与混乱有明显的界限 In New York City
在那条界限上的是丹森和海史密斯 On that line live Danson and Highsmith.
再说一遍我为什么要爬上车顶! Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof!
我觉得你可以归罪于错误的人生选择 I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices.
干掉那个混蛋 Get rid of that asshole.
啊哦 我讨厌你说"啊哦" Uh-oh! I hate it when you say"uh-oh!"
老兄 你身手真敏捷! Dude
放马过来啊! Come on with it
麻烦了 That's trouble.
谁打了九夭夭吗? Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit?
到此结束了 我厌倦了逃来逃去 That's it. I'm sick of all this running.
抓紧了! Hang on!
你有权保持沉默 You have the right to remain silent!
但我想听你尖叫! But I wanna hear you scream!
卧倒! Down on the ground!
探员 嘿 探员 Detective! Yeah
一个个来 好不好? One at a time
探员们 我是雷克·格雷森 Yeah
来自纽约观察者网的记者 New York Observer Online.
这些嫌犯被逮捕时只发现持有0.25磅的大麻 These suspects were caught with only a quarter pound of marijuana
在一些州只算轻罪 a misdemeanor in some states.
你认为这次造成1200万损失的逮捕行动值得吗? Do you think this arrest was worth $12 million in property damages?
为什么不让纽约回答这个问题? Why don't we let New York City answer that question?
这是世界上最好的城市! The greatest city on Earth
你好 来自TMZ出版社的莎拉·加夫尼 Hi
丹森 你和金姆·卡丹森的绯闻是真的吗? Danson
我不做评论 No comment.
但 是的 But
丹森和海史密斯 终生都有免费热狗吃! Danson and Highsmith
但饮料不免费 我不能亏太多啊 No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it.
丹森和海史密斯无论射击 开车 做爱都有型 Danson and Highsmith shoot
他们是明星 They're rock stars.
然后才轮到讲笑话的 打球的 兽医 Then you got your jokers
和二流人物 ...and the other guys.
我们知道 我们知道 我们知道 We know
好好好 听我说! 听我说! All right
今晚我们在巴特酒店开庆祝会 We're having a celebration tonight at Butter.
布罗迪·珍妮会去 还有白灵 Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling.
来自泽西海岸的小婊子 耶! That little short bitch from Jersey Shore. Yeah!
你们大部分都被邀请了 And most of you are on the list.
你们最棒 You're the best.
同志们 我现在有话要说 Guys
关于一个来自奥地利的有梦想的人 It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream.
阿诺·施瓦辛格! 让我说完 Arnold Schwarzenegger! Let me finish.
他先成为冠军后来做了影星 懂吗? He became a champion and then a movie star
阿诺·施瓦辛格! 该死 让我说... Arnold Schwarzenegger! God damn it
你毁了这故事 你毁了这故事 They ruined the story. They ruined the story.
重要的是 Let...What...The point is
我们没有今天的成就 we couldn't do our job
如果没有你们做文书工作 if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork
接电话 还有其他我们不愿做的事 answering the phones
那些枪战 那些追捕行动 all the gun fights all the car chases
那些我们本不想却又不得不上的女人 all the sex we don't wanna have with women
都是因为有了你们 谢谢 all due to what you guys do. Thank you.
而且我们周而复始地做着 And we'd do it again and again.
闭上你的臭嘴 Hey
如果你要讲话 If we wanna hear you talk
我就把手从你屁眼里伸进去 然后把你当木偶耍! I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!
听到了没? 听到了没? You hear me? You hear me?
酒吧见 对 Cash bar. Yeah.
老实点 混蛋们 Peace out
好 伙计们 靠近点 Hey
来吧 靠近点 Come on. Bring it in a little bit.
对 这里就行了 All right
后退 就站在这里 Just back up
好 再退...再前进... All right
对对对 就是这里 就是这里 There you go
这是他们的文书工作 你们知道他们不会做的 This is their paperwork. You know they're not gonna do it.
没错 这些文书工作就像鲍勃的老婆 That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here.
又厚又无趣 满是丹森的指纹 It's thick
无冒犯之意 鲍勃 没关系 No offense
无论如何 谁要做? 我要! Anyway
好的 这活给文书呆子和扬基剪子了! All right! Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case!
好好干 谢谢 艾伦 谢谢长官 Nice work. Thanks
"给我做 给我做" "I'll do it! I'll do it!"
别再哼那个歌啦! Stop humming that song!
我想哼就哼 不 我知道你想 I can hum if I want to. No
但我偏要你停 I'm asking you to stop.
如果你要求的话 我就停 谢谢 Well
你可不可以不那样笑? Could you not smile like that?
你因为自己的感情 Now you're asking me to mask my emotions
而要求我掩饰我的感情 because of how it makes you feel.
我才不干呢 That I will not do.
说真的 不要再哼了 好吗? Seriously
这不是财会统计 This isn't accounting or wherever the hell
你别以为用你的小计算器就能搞定 you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from.
法务会计 好不好 这工作很重要的 Forensic accounting
随你便 Yeah
做这种垃圾工作就别屁颠屁颠的啦 你个傻帽 Stop being so overtly happy about doing shit work
同志们 提醒一下 Hey
警署的野餐聚会将在周末举办 The police union picnic's coming up this weekend.
我老婆要做拿手菜芥末蛋 我的肚子又要撑大喽 My wife's making her famous deviled eggs
现在不该说那个 鲍勃 It's a bad time
好吧 All right.
去吃块蛋糕 Going to get a slice.
你知道我刚才看到什么了吗? You know what I just did?
我刚一出门 就看到几个探员 I just walked out that door
他们马上就要在你背后说坏话了 and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back
但我没有加入 因为我老爸教我 but I stopped myself
在背后说人坏话的人是懦夫 that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.
哇 我很感激 Wow
好极 因为我要当面说你的坏话 Good
- 不 你大可不必 - 不 我不喜欢你 - No. You don't have to. - No
我觉得你是个假警察 I think you're a fake cop.
你小便时的声音 听起来跟个娘们似的 The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine.
如果在野外 我会袭击你 If we were in the wild
即使你不在我的食物链里 Even if you weren't in my food chain
我也会破例宰了你 I would go out of my way to attack you.
如果我是头雄狮 你是条金枪鱼 If I were a lion
我会游到海中把你他妈活吃了！ I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you!
然后上你的金枪鱼女友 And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
好吧 首先 一只到海里游泳的狮子? Okay
狮子不喜欢水 Lions don't like water.
除非你硬把它放在河流或者淡水旁边 If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source
倒是行得通 that'd make sense.
但当你发现自己身在海中 二十英尺高的巨浪 But you find yourself in the ocean
假设我们说的是在南非海域 I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa
遇到一条八百磅的成年金枪鱼 coming up against a full-grown
还有他的二三十个朋友 with his 20 or 30 friends?
你必死无疑 You lose that battle.
你十有八九会死 你知道吗? You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what?
如果你胆敢游进金枪鱼群 You've wandered into our school of tuna
我们现在就能尝到狮子的味道了！ and we now have a taste of lion!
我们心中暗爽 彼此交谈 We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated.
然后说"你知道吗? And said
"狮肉味道不错！我们再去吃几头吧！" "Lion tastes good! Let's go get some more lion!"
我们会在滩头建立一个基地 We've developed a system to establish a beachhead
然后猎杀你的整个族群 and aggressively hunt you and your family.
我们会夺走你的骄傲 And we will corner your pride
- 你的孩子 你的后代 - 如何才能做到? - Your children
我们会用海草做一套呼吸装置 We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp.
用来吸收一些氧气 We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen.
一次虽然不能上岸几天 It's not gonna be days at a time
但一两个小时 绝对没问题 but an hour
这样我们就可以找出你住在哪里 That will give us enough time to figure out where you live
回到海洋 摄入更多氧气 然后再跟踪你 go back to the sea
你是在搬起石头砸自己的脚 我们武器、人数都比你们多 You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned.
最初你料到事情会如此发展吗? Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go?
才没 Nope.
在开市的两分钟前 Two minutes before the markets open
帕米拉·博德曼 兰道环球公司的总裁 Pamela Boardman
将按铃宣布市场开放 ringing the opening bell.
博德曼旁边的是投资银行家 大卫·厄森 With Boardman is investment banker
他拥有兰道集团七百亿资产的百分之四十 who manages 40% of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool.
我们亏损了多少? How much did we lose?
现在您可以按铃了 博德曼女士 You may ring the bell now
三千两百 万? $32. Million?
不 三百二十亿 No
去你的! Shit!
唐人街的三个黑帮痞子 我干掉了两个 Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw.
嘣嘣 好 Bang
然后我站起来干掉他们的老大 Then I raise up to take the leader out.
妈呀 我好像身临其境 Shit
我听到口哨声 我的搭档在屋顶 I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof.
他说"让我们为民除害" He says
他把用步枪把我击倒 我直接一枪穿膛将他打死 He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. I send one through his chest.
游戏结束了 混蛋们 Game over
好了 好 All right. Yeah.
吉米? 说说那个故事令你感觉如何? Jimmy? Let's talk about how that story made you feel.
好像我的下体是用混凝土做的 Like my cock was made out of concrete.
我知道你很勇敢 I know it's very tempting.
你想令朋友们印象深刻 You want to impress your friends.
但是我们说的是严肃的问题 好不好? But this is serious stuff we're dealing with
要按照职责使用武器 This is firing your weapon in the line of duty.
霍兹警员? Officer Hoitz?
哦 天啊 Oh
有没搞错 要开始了 Come on! Here we go.
你想分享你的故事吗? Would you like to share?
不 算了吧 No
霍兹警员 你来警署六个月了 Officer Hoitz
始终一言不发 and you haven't said a word.
这里很和谐的 没人会对你说三道四 This is a safe room
蠢蛋 Jerkoff.
你在评论别人 吉米 说吧 That's judgment
我每晚都会想起 I relive it every night.
布朗克斯区 十月 Bronx
世界职业棒球锦标赛第七场 Game 7 of the World Series.
那些大理石 巨大的压力 骚乱的人群 For all the marbles. High pressure
我在一个隧道里执勤 and I pulled tunnel duty.
我在隧道看到一个黑影 我警告他停下来 I mean
嘿 嘿 嘿 这里禁止通行 Whoa
最后还是拿出枪来 Finally pulled my gun.
拿出一个致命武器 他向我跑来 Pulled a deadly weapon. He started running at me.
不要让我开枪! 我会的! Don't make me shoot! I'll do it!
你聋了吗? 我说了"不许动" Are you deaf? You hear me yell
你个混蛋! 我是德里克·杰特 你击中我了! You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me!
你让我输了二十美金! 混蛋 You cost me 20 grand on that game! Douche bag.
纽约失去了一座冠军啊 Cost the city a championship.
我本来要被提拔到凶杀组的高层 I was being groomed for a top position in homicide.
现在和一个做案头工作的傻子搭档 Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner.
每个人都叫我扬基剪子 Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper.
因为你射中了德里克·杰特 Because you shot Derek Jeter!
他可是双族天使 He's a biracial angel.
你应该向A罗德开枪 You should've shot A-Rod.
嗨 文书呆子 Yo
有事吗? 伙计们 What's up
文书呆子 文书呆子 Paper Bitch. Paper Bitch.
我不喜欢这个外号 I don't like that
我知道你们觉得有趣 但我不喜欢 I know you guys think it's fun
还在做丹森和海史密斯的文书工作啊? Still working on the Danson and Highsmith paperwork?
该死 不 其实 其实 那是... Shit. No
这是什么? 看起来傻啦吧唧的 What is this? That looks stupid.
非法建筑工程的批准令 Guys
准确说是脚手架问题 Specifically
有些人说 Some of the guys were talking.
你在办公室怎么 They were like
没有用过武器? fired your weapon in the office before?"
说的好 Good point.
对不起 我不懂 I'm sorry
你在办公室没有用过武器 You've never fired your weapon in the office.
我们都用过 叫做跳桌 We all have
同志们 我知道你们不尊重我的工作 Fellas
才没有呢 我不笨 Not true. I'm not stupid.
我在办公室不会卸下武器 I'm not gonna discharge my firearm in the office.
甘博 听我说 我再说清楚点 Gamble
我们很尊重你 We honor the flag
你要是不开枪你就对不起我们 and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office.
吉米 你上次开枪是什么时候 Jimmy. When's the last time you had a desk pop?
九月八号 September '08.
像男人一样 开枪 现在 Be a man. Do it. Now.
开枪吧 来个痛快! Please
没错 开枪 想也别想 开枪就是了 There you go. Pop it off! Don't think
好吧 开枪 对 Here we go. Do it
他开了 He did it!
嘿 有人开枪了 Hey! Shots fired!
嘿特里! 我做到了! 我跳桌啦! Hey
我真的开枪了 是吗? It's a real thing
跳桌? 是 A desk pop? Yeah.
没这回事 No
他们很有说服力啊 他们骗了我! They were so convincing in their argument
好吧艾伦 你必须交出枪来 All right
遵命长官 Yes
长官 你要真的想缴械 Captain
就把他计算器里的电池卸了 take out the batteries in the calculator.
好吧 给你这个 假枪 All right
我节日里用它做做样子 I use it for ceremony.
给 There.
等你知道怎么使用了再还给你 You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it.
听着 伙计们 我有两份工作 我在这里有工作 Listen
在床上用品店那边还有份工作 好不? And I got another job at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay?
我只是想让一个孩子上纽约大学 I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU
让他可以探索双性向然后成为一个DJ so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay.
最后一个要求就是警署的弹道报告 Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit.
我不会要求你们...真的 I'm just gonna ask you guys
想想...聪明点 Just think about...Just be smart.
发生武装抢劫 211 in progress.
劫匪用大铁球砸开了卡斯蒂珠宝店 They're using a wrecking ball to clean out Castien Jewelry.
好了 我们知道了 All right
祝你们好运 好好干 艾伦 我们走 Good luck
不 我还有活没干 什么 这才是正事 No
丹森和海史密斯 我们车轮滚滚来 Hey
你们原地乖乖呆 You cream puffs
你在搞什么鬼! You gotta be shitting me!
你们不能永远把我关在这里 好不好? You can't keep me cooped up in here
我是个孔雀 我要飞 I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly!
他刚刚管自己叫孔雀? Did he just...Did he just call himself a peacock?
走吧 走吧 Let's go! Let's go!
放马来吧 Come on
周三晚上去莱克岛监狱吃玉米卷吧! Wednesday night is taco night at Rikers Island!
那是本周第二个了! That's the second one this week!
你们这些小兔崽子! 不要跑! Hey
快走! Let's go!
好 Yeah!
抬头! Heads up!
该死 Shit.
特种部队高空滑行 Special Forces zipline.
切掉那根线 切掉! 我们走! Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go!
这些歹徒是专家 我们上 These guys are pros. Let's go!
你和我想的一样 搭档? You thinking what I'm thinking
朝着灌木丛跳 Aim for the bushes.
警察们还在讨论为何丹森和海史密斯跳了下去 Cops still argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped.
也许是因为骄傲 那么多次死里逃生 Maybe it was just pride
也许是他们太自负了 Maybe their egos pushed them off.
我不知道 但他们真疯狂 I don't know. But that shit was crazy.
无论如何 纽约出现了一个洞 Either way
需要人来填满 and it needed to be filled.
两天前 纽约哭了 Two days ago
我们失去了奉献了一切的两名英雄 We lost two heroes who gave everything for us
他们最后的牺牲 who paid that ultimate sacrifice
也是为了我们能够安全地走在马路上 so that we may walk these streets safely.
他们跳下去的地方连一个遮雨棚都没有 There wasn't even an awning in their direction.
不 我知道 他们从二十楼跳了下来 No
这不符合逻辑 对吗? Doesn't make sense
我只希望上帝可以让他们把警察配枪带到天堂 I only hope God lets them take their. 357s with them to heaven.
我们的时代来临了 艾伦 It's our moment
我们代替他俩的时代来临了 Our moment to step up and be the guys.
我们还在葬礼上呢 给他们点尊重吧 什么? We're at a funeral. Show some respect. What?
你不觉得每一个在场的警察 You don't think every other detective here
都在想同一件事吗? isn't thinking the same thing?
艾伦 听我说 丹森和海史密斯已经死了 Allen
他们人去桌空 总得有人填补他们的职位 Their desks are empty. Someone has to fill those seats.
那就是我们了好不好? 纽约现在急缺英雄 That someone is us
是吗? 是的 Is it? Yeah.
那要是九百万个有社交意识 有团队精神的公民 What about nine million socially-conscious and unified citizens
都想要代替他们的位置怎么办? all just stepping up and doing their part?
小时候 你没有玩过警察抓小偷? As a little kid
我告诉你我小时候做过什么吧 I'll tell you what I did as a little kid.
我去上学 整理床铺 I went to school and made my bed.
十一岁时 我审查了我父母的账本 And at age 11
我告诉你 事情出了点小差错 我就被他们禁足了 And believe me
你是从哪来的怪胎啊? What the hell are you?
哟哟哟 看看谁来了 Well
看看这两个傻蛋 Look at these two jamokes
一个射中了杰特 另一个在警署开枪 One shot Jeter and the other shot an office.
嘴巴干净点 我们还在参加葬礼呢 Have some decorum. We're at a funeral.
你要跳舞吗 小样? You wanna dance
我要用我的巨根爆你菊花 I will rock your body with big
让你后庭流血 You'll be pissing blood out of your ass.
惨啊 That's horrible.
你靠那么近干嘛? Why don't you step back
你敢碰他 我对上帝发誓 You touch him
我会用艾伦的头把你打得屁股开花 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you with Allen's head.
他不会这么做的 他只是虚张声势 不过有点怪异 He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole. But that's a weird example.
你想打架? 打就打! You wanna go? I wanna go!
打倒他 扁他 马丁 Get him off. Kick his ass
这样如何? Yeah. How do you like that?
抓他头发 我喜欢 Pull his hair! I love it.
这下可真疼 This hurts so good.
请节哀 女士 多高雅的帽子啊 Very sorry for your loss
我爱你的鞋 I love your shoes.
好了好了 继续 继续 It's fine
教训他! Punish him!
哦 有没搞错 Oh
就这样 我们就是这样做的 Do it. That's how we do it in the hood.
教训他 根本就没有这种动作 Punish him. That's not even a move.
我赢了 我赢了 每个人都看到了 I'm the winner. I'm the winner
你们在搞什么鬼? What the hell is going on here?
两个好人刚死 Two good men are dead
你们就为了谁将继承他们的辉煌而打架? you guys are fighting over who's gonna be the next hotshot?
是这么回事? Is that what's happening?
是 就是这么回事 Yes
我告诉你 Let me tell you something.
请节哀 罗琳 请节哀 Sorry for your loss
请节哀 罗琳 请节哀 罗琳 Sorry
你好 我叫吉米 Hi
太早了吧 你干嘛说这个? Too soon? Why'd you say that?
我告诉你 这两个人 I'll tell you something about those guys.
他们之所以是好警察 They knew that to become a good cop
因为他们解决了很多案子 好不? you had to solve cases. Okay?
好 也许你们可以从卡斯蒂失窃案开始 Okay
好不好? 所以注意点 Okay? So just watch it.
下次我跟你在图书馆打 Next time
甭想 来吧 伙计们 Not even close. Come on
你是... 我赢了! You are... I'm the winner!
我不需要你帮我强出头 好吗? I didn't need you to stick up for me
我可以自己解决 I could've handled that myself.
别自恋了 我们是搭档么 我别无选择 Hey
走开 Move.
九点十五 祝大家度过美好的一天 闭嘴 9:15
早上好 Good morning.
有人开枪了 在西十街509号 We've got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street.
现场发现大量可卡因 There are large amounts of cocaine on the scene.
别惹麻烦了 Try to stay out of trouble
你肯定不会去那里的 对吗? There's no chance you'd wanna go on that call
想也别想 太忙了 No chance. Too busy.
好吧 女生们 看到了没? All right
这案子归我们搞定了 We're about to lock shit down.
没错 你们女生乖乖呆在这里吧 That's right. You girls stay here and get your type on.
抓住他们 伙计们 能量多多 专注多多 Go get them
闭嘴! Shut up!
艾伦 我可以在走廊跟你说几句吗? Allen
我...我现在超忙 特里 I...I'm super busy right now
不不不 我知道 很快说完 No
是关于我们谈过的建筑工程批准令 It's about the construction permits you were talking about.
非法搭建脚手架? 这才是我们的案子 The scaffolding violations? This is our thing
你查到什么了? So
这个! 老实点 I got this! I'll put one right in your neck.
你干什么呢? What are you doing?
走吧 我们去办案 Let's go. We're going to that call.
你干嘛? 闭嘴 What is this? Shut up.
我们开车 我们要接办这个案子 We're going to the car
你不会向我开枪的 我不会? You're not gonna shoot me. I won't?
不会 我向杰特开过枪 No. I shot Jeter.
那是个意外 是吗? That was an accident. Was it?
快走 好吧 Now move. Okay.
嘿 Hey.
看到没有? 他用枪对着我 Does anybody see this? He's got a gun on me.
我被绑架了 I'm being kidnapped.
这里是警署啊 怎么没人感兴趣? Really
发生什么了? 你说发生什么了? So
我醒来 解开脖子上的带子 I woke up
然后上车去了那里 and I got in my car
一个疯狂的周末 对吗? Talk about a wild weekend
我本来以为我要杀出去的 I thought I was gonna have to shoot my way out.
你要做什么呢? 受戒礼 What are you gonna do
这是什么? What the hell is this?
是我的车 普锐斯 It's my car. It's a Prius.
感觉跟在阴道里驾车似的 I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina.
霍兹探员和甘博警员在西十街518号 Detective Hoitz and Gamble are on that 518 on East 10th.
别想 马丁和佛西 出来两分钟了 Negatory
看看谁先到 We'll just see who's there first.
离犯罪现场远点! 你听到没? You stay out of our crime scene! You hear me?
快 快 快 Go
感受到了吗 艾伦? 蛋蛋是不是兴奋了? You feel that
肚子里面有金属蝴蝶在煽动翅膀? Big metal butterflies fluttering around in your stomach?
你确定你没有前列腺癌? Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer?
我知道这个可以让你兴奋起来 I got something to get you going.
我们去搞点破坏! Let's go do some damage!
不 Nope.
这是什么? What the hell is that?
小河乐队 LRB. Little River Band.
这音乐太娘们了 This music makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra.
你知道吗? 我们还是别听音乐了 好不好? You know what? We go with no music
好 说再见 Fine. Say bye.
不不不 不要... No
你死定了 霍兹 You just signed your own death warrant
艾伦 你要是不踩加速器我就射你的脚! Allen
美国万岁! America!
艾伦 艾伦 踩刹车! Allen! Allen
真的 慢点开 我们快到犯罪现场了 Seriously
特里 我来了 Terry
你会穿过那个带子的 艾伦! You're gonna smash right through the tape! Allen!
老兄! 有没... Dude! What...
好多可卡因啊 That's a lot of cocaine.
你踩加速器的时候是不是喊道"美国万岁"? Did you yell"America"when you hit the accelerator?
没 没有 Nope. No. No.
我从没像这样 I've never actually put my foot all the way down
一脚踩到底过呢 to the ground with the accelerator like that.
我有点性奋了 It got me slightly aroused.
来了 Here we go.
等不及要到犯罪现场啊 伙计们 Way to put your stamp on the crime scene
普锐斯? 是的是的 Prius
省油吧? Good mileage?
好着呢 对 Outstanding. Yeah.
这里面是不是有牙科用胶布啊? Did this come with a dental dam?
没有 没有么? No. Get it?
昨晚我在一雪佛兰上找到这玩意 My Suburban shit one of these last night.
我不知道他们在轮子上还放卫生棉呢 I didn't know they put tampons on wheels.
我们玩得挺开心 是不? We've had our fun
就好像疤面煞星朝你车上打了个喷嚏 Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car.
好了 各位! All right
现在请你们后退 我们接手了 I'm gonna need you all to back up now. We're taking over.
"我在犯罪现场 哈哈哈" "At the crime scene
我上围脖通知一声 谢谢 Good tweet
美国以资产过剩而出名 America has always been defined by its excess.
大峡谷有多余的运动员契约 The Grand Canyon
温蒂汉堡店有多余的培根 Wendy's Baconator
我自己有18辆兰博基尼 I myself have 18 Lamborghinis
还有辆斯巴鲁敞篷金龟车 and a Subaru station wagon.
就是因为资产过剩我才能奢侈挥霍 And it's because of this excess that I have flourished.
我恳求你们 不要停止赚取利润 I implore you
过着资产过剩的日子 这才是美国的生活 Live for excess. It's the American way.
你好 Hello.
厄森先生? 您的电话 Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you.
我是大卫 Sir David.
大卫 你没回我电话 David. You're not returning my calls
我想让你见见罗杰·韦斯利 so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley.
你好 伙计 你好 G'day
罗杰和他的团队会监督你 因为我不相信你 Roger and his team are gonna babysit you because I don't trust you
我知道你会开溜 because I think you're going to take off.
帕米拉 真是荒谬 我哪里也不会去 Pamela
大卫 听着 兰道季刊在二十六号发行 David
如果你那时候不还我钱的话 You have until then to give me my money.
我就报告我的损失 大卫 I'm not reporting any losses
我盯上了一个新投资者 I have zeroed in on a new investor.
那么 你拿走他们的钱 Well
然后让它消失 再付给我们 make it disappear
好好 我会告诉他不必盯紧我 Yes
大卫! 好了 宝贝 再见 David! Okay
她反应过度了 女人嘛 所以你可以走了 Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. So
我什么都听到了 伙计 Heard everything
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen
猜猜是谁告诉了我让我赚十亿元的秘密? guess who gave me the secrets to making my first billion dollars.
这位先生 That man there.
跟上! 跟上! Go! Go!
靠边 请靠边 Side! Step aside
你认为我不算警察 是吗? You don't think I'm a real cop
不 我面对面跟你说了很多次了 No
我很坦诚地对你说过了 I was really honest about that.
我在处理大案子 好不好? I'm working on a huge case
一个名下有七处施工中房屋的地产商 Property owner with seven buildings under construction.
他连一个脚手架批准令都没有 He hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit.
根据百度知道 Now
这个嫌疑犯正在广场酒店演讲 this perp is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now.
这是所谓的大案子? 脚手架批准令? 对啊 That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? Yeah.
知道吗? 你要和我一起来 Guess what? You're coming with me.
这是把木枪 It's a wooden gun.
很疼啊 That hurts
我总是有小河乐团的歌 I've always got Little River Band loaded up here.
我有六盘歌碟呢 I've got six disks in here.
克洛德 在外面见我 在咨询台的后面 Claude
我要坐新加坡航空 I'm flying Air Singapore.
嘿 道格拉斯 你妻子怎样? 她死了 Hey
太好了! Attaboy!
两分钟后到 I'll be there in two minutes exactly.
还有一件很讨厌的事 你总是付零钱 Another thing I hate about you? You always pay in exact change.
你只是嫉妒我的零钱包很好 You're just mad because I have a nice change purse.
你管那么多干啥? Why do you even care?
我怎么能不管? 你知道吗? 你知道什么更糟吗? How can I help it? You know what? You know what's worse?
你放屁的方式 你连放屁都不像个男人 The way you fart. Even your farts
真是荒谬 You're being ridiculous.
听起来像小宝宝吹生日蜡烛 They sound like a baby blowing out the candles on a birthday cake.
什么? 像... What? Like a little...
你知道你有什么讨人厌的地方吗? 什么? You know what bugs me about you? What?
我敢肯定你从来没投过票 I'm pretty sure you've never voted.
不 我有过 体育电台 调频880 本周最佳运动员 No
你就像一个穿着皮夹克的小孩 你就是像 You're like a child in a leather jacket. That's what you're like.
别挡路 伙计! Get out of the way
等等 你是大卫·厄森吗? Wait. Are you David Ershon?
是大卫·厄森先生 我其实也不在意你... Yeah
其实 我在赶路 如果你们不介意的话 谢谢 Anyway
对不起 你被捕了 好不好? 什么? Excuse me
你有权保持沉默 你所说的将被... You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used
后面是什么? 用作悬浮设备 What's the next part? As a floatation device.
用作悬浮设备 As a floatation device.
你知道吗? 挺搞笑的 我还从来没有抓过人呢 You know what? That's very funny. I have never Miranda-ed anyone before.
真的? 你们动真格的? Really? Are you guys for real?
我是不是撞到鬼了? Am I being punk'd?
艾伦·甘博探员 Detective Allen Gamble.
我们在一辆被可卡因覆盖的车里 We are in a cocaine-covered car
正带一名嫌犯回去 and we are bringing in a perp.
大卫·厄森 175磅 One David Ershon. 175 pounds.
谢谢 175磅 闭嘴 闭嘴 Thank you. 175 pounds. Shut up
马丁和佛西也许在B审讯室 Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B
和谢伯德·史密斯讲话呢 talking to Shepard Smith right now.
我们因为一张脚手架批准令逮捕这个混蛋? We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit?
等等 你们为什么逮捕我? Wait
违反脚手架批准令 For scaffolding permit violation...
我有保险卡的 让我找找 别激动 伙计 I got my insurance card. Somewhere. Easy
怎么回事? 你撞了我们 站在那别动 What the hell? You ran right into us! Stand over there.
木头? Wood?
搞什么... What the...
看不到我的车吗 够大了 伙计 什么? Couldn't see the car. It's big enough
别让他们带走我 Do not let these men take me.
你好 Hi.
她为什么这样看着我? Why's she looking at you like that?
那是我的车! That's my car!
嘿嘿嘿 我们还没交换保险信息呢 Hey
嘿 听到没! Hey! Excuse me!
他们为什么拿走我们的鞋? Why did they take our shoes?
怎么回事? 我的iPhone呢? What the hell just happened? Where's my iPhone?
我觉得我们走过了三十个街区了 伙计 I think we've walked 30 blocks
我不知道为什么我们不能打给警署 I don't get why we can't just call the office
让他们送辆车来接我们 and have a squad car come pick us up.
不 他们拿走了我们的鞋 我们的枪 还有我们的车 No. They took our shoes
我可不能让署里人知道 There's no way that's going out on the radio.
如果我们要合作 Look
有些问题我们必须要解决 好吗? there's some issues we need to settle
我说 你说我下巴不明显 你说我尿尿像个娘们 I mean
你觉得我感受如何? How do you think that makes me feel?
我说 你的那个清单 你考虑得挺周到 很奇怪 I mean
我听到了 I hear you.
我们冰释前嫌 重新开始吧 Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start.
好 重新开始 All right. Fresh start.
也许我们应该叫纺必适兄弟 Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers
因为感觉清新舒适 'cause it's feeling so fresh right now.
对吗? Right?
让我们再重新开始一次 Let's do another fresh start
因为我想揍你的脸 'cause I just wanted to punch you in the face.
好 重新开始 Fine
最后一次 It's the last one.
我要能够表达清楚再和你交谈 你知道吗 I have to be able to express myself and say things
伙计们 大家都听好了! 听好了! Okay
光天化日之下发生了一起绑架案 Got a high profile kidnapping.
大卫·厄森 富有的银行家 有跨国团队 David Ershon
劫持者可能早已埋伏在那 但说不准 Maybe a sleeper cell
小矮人 你们的鞋呢 脚都黑乎乎的 Hey
谁在乎? 这不是重点 Who cares? It's not important
霍兹 甘博 头头找你们 情况不妙 Hoitz
再见 伙计们 再见 Bye
过来 Come on.
这是唐·比曼 厄森先生的律师 Guys
罗杰·韦斯利 私人保镖负责人 Roger Wesley
嘿 你这贱人! 淡定淡定! Hey
特里 别激动! Hey
长官 就是他把我们的枪抢走了 That's the guy who took our guns
还有我的鞋 别激动 And my shoes! Wait a minute
你们表明警察身份了吗 Did you identify yourselves as police officers?
看这是什么 What is this?
艾伦 告诉我 你们表明了吗 没有 Allen
对不起 先生们 Sorry
我们以为你们当时在绑架厄森先生 We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon.
我们只是按规矩办事 It's only protocol.
厄森先生已经同意补上脚手架事宜 Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this scaffolding situation.
这事就结了 The case is closed.
所有必要的书面材料已经打理好了 I've taken care of all necessary paperwork.
现在你们应该庆幸 And you fellas
厄森先生没有对你们过度使用武力提起诉讼 Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force.
谢谢 长官 客气了 Thank you
你澳大利亚的? Australian?
特种兵? Special Forces
你最好给我小心点 探员 Best watch your step
这世界上有三件东西我最喜欢了 There are three things I love in this world.
凯利·米洛(澳大利亚女歌手) Kylie Minogue
女人的股沟 small dimples just above a woman's buttocks...
的确很好看 Beautiful features.
和即将挨揍的男人眼中的恐惧 ...and the fear in a man's eye who knows I'm about to hurt him.
你蛋疼完了没 正事办完了就走 Hey! Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over.
算了 Come on
看 他们把鞋子还回来了 All right
你们的武器也回来了 给你 特里 And they returned your weapons. Here you go
艾伦 有人帮你擦了点亚麻油 Allen
上面粘了类似深核桃木的污渍 some kind of stain on that
你该给他们写封感谢信 You might wanna think about dropping them a thank you note.
好了 Okay.
你在生我们的气是吧 吉恩 You're mad at us
第一 不要叫我吉恩 我是你们的长官 First off
你们忘了那个"学聪明点"的演讲吗 Guys
没忘 那么 Sure. All right.
你们是怎么做的 你们怎么处理的 Well
刚好相反 我们不够机灵 吉恩长官 The opposite. We were not smart
叫我"长官"就好了 It's just"Captain."
就叫"长官"不是"吉恩长官"又不是少儿节目 Just"Captain."It's not"Captain Gene."I don't have a kiddie show.
"吉恩长官"听着太不给力了 That sounds creepy
警方错误抓捕了投资银行家大卫·厄森 Police mistakenly arrest investment banker
他是财务分析结果的受害者吗 Was he the victim of financial profiling?
财务分析? 太扯了吧 Financial profiling? That's crazy.
明明是他犯了法我们才逮捕他 He broke the law and we arrested him.
那不是他的保镖 他说"别让这些人带走我" That wasn't a security team. He said
当你听到马蹄二字 想到的肯定是马 而不是羊吧 I mean
为什么不是牛或者驴呢? What about donkeys or deer?
它们都长蹄子 牛科动物神马的? They have hooves. What about bovine creatures?
你刚刚是在想"要有一个新开始"吗? Were you just thinking to yourself
是的 嗯 我看出来了 Yeah. Yeah. I could see it.
要不去我家吧 Listen
我们好好谈谈这个案子 We'll talk the case down.
吃个简单的晚餐 你可以认识希拉 We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila.
我俩只是作为警察在吃饭时候谈公务好不好? Two cops talking down a case while eating food
不是神马晚餐 好吧 It's not dinner. Fine.
我先提前道个歉 And let me apologize in advance
万一我老婆表现得跟环球第一贱人一样 in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch.
她又老又肥 还得瑟得很 She's a big old broad
我把大卫·厄森的个人资料 Okay
和照片整理了一下 complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon.
我用的Adobe视频软件 我喜欢周末做点编辑的活 I used Adobe Premiere. I like to do a little weekend editing.
我从"盗亦有道"里剪了3分钟的镜头 I recently just cut three minutes out of Goodfellas.
大卫·厄森目前是厄森财团的CEO David Ershon is currently the CEO of Ershon Consortium.
是谁在旁白? Who's that talking?
是一个语音应用 只要99美分 It's the Frontline Narration App. It's only 99 cents.
厄森财团目前的金融投资超过了700亿美元 Ershon Consortium
他的大客户包括S-P公司和兰道公司 His largest clients include Schering-Plough and Lendl Global.
兰道公司拍了一些不明所以的广告 Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't figure out what they do.
是啊 石油 传媒 社保都有涉及 Yeah
你该知道他们的影响力 you've probably heard their jingle.
兰道公司 我们无处不在 Lendl Global
大卫·厄森经常在思嘉利亚的公司出现 David Ershon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia...
是啊 还有Maroon 5的领唱 Yeah. ...and the lead singer of Maroon 5.
这人可能跟贩毒集团 I mean
黑市器官贩卖和人贩子有联系 black market organ sales
你的结论和我刚才说的有关系吗? How do you get that from anything I just said?
嘿 汤来了 Hey
什么意思 What do you mean?
嗨 Hi.
嗨 你肯定是特里 Hi. You must be Terry.
亲爱的 我不该躲着你的朋友 晚饭太折腾了 I'm sorry I've been hiding
你是谁? 我是希拉·甘博 他老婆啊 Who are you? I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble
说真的 她是谁 他的黄脸婆 Come on
小甜心 我们在工作呢 明白 Sweetie
你衣不蔽体的样子 太让人分心了 And you come in here
我知道你们在工作 对不起 I know you're working. I'm so sorry.
我说真的 真的什么? Come on
她是谁? Who is that?
她是老...她是我的负担 That's the old...That's the old ball and chain.
啵一个 Get over here.
不 这里不合适 好吧 Not...Not right now. Okay.
那些都不是考虑的重点 Look
你到底说不说她是谁 Come on
你真的是艾伦的妻子? 我就知道 Are you really Allen's wife? I know.
他信圣公教 我信天主教 People are shocked
别人都不信我们能在一起 because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic
但事实就是这样 but somehow it works.
你要换身衣服吗? 我换了啊 Are you gonna change? I already did.
没关系 你看上去漂亮极了 It's no big deal. You look really
特里 没必要跟她客气 她穿得太风尘了 Terry
不许你这样说她 艾伦 Don't speak to her like that
如果我把你这身打扮放到潮人应用里面 Look
你可能不及格 you'd probably get a D-.
艾伦最喜欢开发应用程序了 Allen and his apps. He loves them.
他自己设计了3个应用 有一个...我能说吗? You know he's designed three of his own? One of them...Can I tell him?
有一个程序 你可以拍任何人的正面 One of them
它就会告诉你这个人的后脑勺是什么样的 and it'll tell you what the back of his head looks like.
叫人人后脑勺 人人后脑勺 Faceback. Faceback.
已经收到很多夸张的评论了 Got some horrible reviews coming out of the gate.
肯定会火的 很吸引眼球 It's gonna hit. It's gonna catch.
你为什么跟了艾伦? Why are you with Allen?
不是那个意思 我是说 你俩怎么认识的? I mean
这是一个典型的邂逅故事 特里 It's a really typical"how we met"story
太乏味了 You're gonna be bored by it.
当时我在尼克斯队跳舞 I was a dancer for the Knicks
平时是哥伦比亚医院的实习生 while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital.
艾伦直肠上起了毒疹 送到急救室 Allen came into the ER with poison ivy on his rectum.
是的 Yes.
不用说 我对他一见钟情 Needless to say
我们在快捷酒店翻云覆雨了3天 We immediately spent the next three days at the La Quinta Inn
老实说 我们连话都没说一句 整整3天 and
一次话都没说过 of not communicating once verbally.
不知不觉中 We had actually
我们学会用眼神调情 用身体语言交流 developed a language of eye flutters and non-verbal gestures.
特里 我们之间有一种原始兽性的冲动 You know
经过3天爱意浓浓的 After those three days of non-verbal communication
身体交流 and a whole lot of loving
我的屁股都抽筋了 我不得不去看医生 I had to go to a specialist to get my hips realigned.
就像给屁股发育不良的德国牧羊犬 Similar to operating on a German shepherd
做手术一样 疼死我了 when they have hip dysplasia. Very painful.
特别有意思 像那部电影的情节一样 It's funny
我总是忘记名字 always forget the name of it.
梅格·瑞恩演的 就是 With Meg Ryan. Yes.
我不记得梅格·瑞恩在什么电影里 I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan
邂逅过屁股长疮的男人 meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass.
我想想 我想想 好 I'll think of it. I'll think of it. Okay.
特里 你呢 有女朋友没 So
以前有 I did
我们本要结婚的 但她后来退缩了 事情比较复杂 We were supposed to get married
特里朝德里克·杰特开了一枪 Terry shot Derek Jeter.
闭嘴 艾伦 这是哪辈子的事了 Shut up
没关系 That's okay.
电影的名字是"电子情书" She's Got Mail. That's the name of the movie.
对对对 亲爱的 That's it! Honey!
汤姆·汉克斯演的? 是的 With Tom Hanks? Right.
还有梅格·瑞恩 梅格·瑞恩 And Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan.
他屁股上可没长疮 He didn't have poison ivy up his ass.
他长了的 他真的长了的 Yes
就长那儿的 Way up there.
特里 很荣幸你能来我家度过这样一个... Well
一个温馨美好的夜晚 谢谢 What a wonderful
很高兴认识你 特里 It was so
是我的荣幸啊 谢谢 It was my pleasure. Thank you.
记住 我只有一个请求 不要让他受伤 特里 And remember
我每天上班前她都要这么说 必须的 She tells me that every day before I leave. Yep
我下楼给他做鲜草莓汁 I come downstairs and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries
我会说"小宝贝 不管你今天多忙" and I say
"都不要受伤" "you just don't get hurt."
是啊 每天早上都说 Yeah. Every morning.
接着我给他看我的咪咪 我说"它们在等你" And then I show him my breasts
"等你回家" 就是 "when you get back home."Right.
特里 我的胸部不是他见过最大的 You know
但是它们很神气 绝不是最大的 but
它们很坚挺 它们属于你 你很漂亮 And they are firm
谢谢你能来 Thank you for coming.
霍兹和甘博探员? 霍兹和甘博探员? 完毕 Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over.
霍兹在 Go for Hoitz.
我们找到你的普锐斯车了 太好了 We found your red Prius. Great.
它正打算为拉尔夫·内德(活动家)投票 It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader.
得了吧 小宝贝 听着 Come on. Okay
车上肯定有指纹 There's gonna be fingerprints on that car.
明天我们去提取指纹 放进系统检索 Tomorrow
一旦得到匹配结果 And if we get a hit
案子进展肯定势如破竹 this case is gonna heat up faster than a junkie's spoon.
明天早上你起床后就做一件事 带上胆子 You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow
好的 谢谢 希拉 Okay. Thank you
他会带上胆子的 He'll bring it.
晚安 晚安 Good night! Good night.
谢谢你 希拉 Thank you
再见 特里 再见 希拉 我不会忘记今晚 Bye
再见 特里 行了 艾伦 回去吧 Bye
再见 希拉 Bye
晚安 再见...再见 特里 Night! See you...See you
再见 希拉 Bye
不知道他听见没 再见 特里 I don't know if he heard me. Bye
再见 希拉 Bye
车在这了 他们把它扔在一座天桥下 Well
有什么发现吗 You find anything?
很多发现 Yeah. We found a lot of stuff.
有体液啊毛发啊什么的 From bodily fluid and hair samples
我们相信有一帮无家可归的老流浪汉 we determined that a bunch of old
在车里开过狂欢晚会 had an orgy in the car.
天哪 节哀吧 Oh
你知道他们把这种狂欢叫什么吗 You know what that's called when they do that in there?
流动厨房 That's called a soup kitchen.
脏乱差啊 It's pretty rough stuff.
不多久 一只母浣熊到车里 Not long after that
生了仔 and gave birth on the floor.
胎盘都喷到后窗上了 Placenta blew out all over the back window there.
后来 有个小鬼到车里的驾驶座上 Yeah
拉了一坨有技术含量的屎 takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat.
我猜他知道你们是警察 I think he knew you guys were cops
因为我把他的便便叫做蓄意报复屎 because this is what I would call a spite shit.
光通过毛发和体液样本 You were able to determine all of that
你就能推测处这么多情节? 当然了 from the hair and fluid samples? Oh
指纹呢 你发现指纹了吗 What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints?
没有 什么指纹都没有 找到一部手机 Nope
是我的 Yeah
有没有挣扎或搏斗的痕迹? Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?
没有 来狂欢的都是自愿的 No. Believe me
其实他们还给你留了个便条 In fact
"谢谢你的小帐篷 爱你 潇洒哥和兄弟们" "Thanks for the F-shack. Love
这是在车里找到的 Here's something we found.
我们找到一打没刮过的彩票 We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets.
没有指纹神马的 你看看 No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out.
太遗憾了 Yeah
我有台普锐斯 现在成破铜烂铁了 I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine.
这是我第一辆新车 我以前从没买过新车 It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car.
还发现一头鹿的阴道 Found a deer vagina.
什么? 开始还以为是人的嘴唇 What? Thought it was human lips at first.
我们又仔细看了看 绝对是鹿的阴道 Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina.
连"再来一张"都没有 Not even a free ticket.
我们该怎么办? What are we gonna do?
指纹没提取到 还拿了一堆没用的彩票 We got no fingerprints
你看 我们被拽下车后有人打了2分钟的电话 Look at this
用你手机打的? 秘密拨打的 They used your phone? They ghost dialed.
可能有人在电话那头监听 Someone probably sat on it.
厄森被抓时 It could have recorded some of
他们的部分谈话可能被录下来了 their conversation when Ershon got grabbed.
我们必须调查谁接到了那个电话 We gotta hear the other side of that call.
不 没必要 Nope
没必要? 没必要 Nothing? It's nothing.
这是唯一的线索 真没必要 It's the only lead we have. It's nothing.
你这么激动干嘛 Why did you just get super jumpy?
怎么了? What?
是我前女友 It's an ex-girlfriend
怎么了 你俩怎么回事 What's the matter? What happened with you guys?
没什么 哥不想跟她有半毛钱的关系 She was just a bit of a handful
艾伦 这是我们唯一的线索 Allen
要么查下去 要么撒手不管 We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now.
好吧 去找她 Fine. Let's go see her.
你好啊 克丽斯汀妮斯 Hello
你好 艾伦 Hello
这是我同事 特里 你好 特莱 That's my partner
见鬼了我 别紧张 放松 Holy shit. Dude. Just relax
我在高塔音像店等了你4个小时 I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours.
那是13年前的事了 That was 13 years ago.
阿诺·旁姆来啦 阿诺·旁姆来啦 Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert.
谁要喝伦家调制的饮料? Who wants some Arnie Palmies?
亲爱的 这杯有伏特加加哦 这杯 Sweetie
放桌上就好了 好滴 Hal
放好了啦 Okay.
我跟你合体的姿势 都没有跟别人尝试过 I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since.
真的没有 No.
克丽斯汀妮斯 你老公在 别说了 Christinith
没事 他全知道 Oh
你太幸运了 就是 You're a lucky dog. It's true.
克丽斯汀 你家很漂亮 Christine
我叫克丽斯汀妮斯 你是傻子还是聋子? It's Christinith. Are you stupid
克丽斯汀妮斯 蠢猪! Christinith
到我们家 就得把我老婆的名字叫对了! You come to our house
什么? 克丽斯汀妮斯! What? Christinith!
你们如此好客 我们表示很感动 Look
我们想听听你的电话录音 We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone.
它很有可能关系到一起绑架案 We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping.
好啊 我们去厨房吧 我把它放给你听 Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen
别人都不许来 and everyone else stay here.
没问题 亲爱的 来吧 Okay
电话在那 太好了 谢谢... There's my phone. Great
我恨你 你这贱人! I hate you
你力气真大 我比你想象的力气更大! You're so strong. I'm stronger than you will ever know!
我恨你 我恨你 I hate you! I hate you!
你太可爱了 看你这张脸蛋 看你这张脸蛋 You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face.
说"我耐你"快说"我耐你 克斯妮斯" You go
你可能觉得因为我长了络腮胡 所以汗毛很重 You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy.
其实我没有啦 But I'm not.
我刮过的 Shaved.
艾伦! 他没事的 Allen! He's fine.
问你一个问题 Question.
你想当哪种动物 What would you rather be
熊还是狗? a bear or a dog?
无所谓 我想当 I don't care. I wanna be
熊狗 一半狗 一半熊那种 a bear dog. Half dog
因为熊狗既可以当宠物住在家里 'Cause that way
又能够去小树林里拉屎 but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods.
艾伦! Allen!
艾伦! 艾伦! Allen! Allen!
这是警方证据 特里 跑啊! 嘿! This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go! Hey!
你得回来跟我老婆合体! You get back here and you make love to my wife!
艾伦! 艾伦! Allen! Allen!
我想不通 我实在想不通 I don't get it
克丽斯汀妮斯身材超辣的 I mean
你老婆也让人喷鼻血 Your wife is crazy hot.
即使旁边有个巴西人妖 I mean
她还是暗示你"上我吧" she threw you a"Do me"vibe.
你怎么那么吸引辣妹? What is it with you and hot ladies?
首先 我老婆是可爱 不是火辣 First off
你脑子装浆糊了吗 你老婆那么性感 Dude
你到底听不听电话录音? 听吧 You wanna listen to this message or not? Yeah
你要去办一件事 You have one job
找个可怜虫和你共同投资 Find a sucker to invest with you
这样你就能把钱还给我老板了 so you can pay my boss back the money you lost.
我不在乎你找谁 And I don't care who.
对了 我想起来我这有个可怜虫 Right. I actually think I found a sucker...
他让厄森...投资320亿美元 He's talking to Ershon. ...to invest $32 billion.
谁傻逼兮兮地拿320亿让人抢啊 Who's got $32 billion to rob?
只要我拿到钱 我会纂改数据 Once I get the money
告诉他们损失惨重 再给你的员工付工资 to show their massive losses and then repay your employer.
既然你跟着我 我现在就去公园大道2300号 Now
接着... and after that...
我就说他们不是保安 I told you it wasn't a security team.
他被绑架了 明显的事 但为什么...晕... He was being abducted. Obviously
进了我家门 必须跟我老婆合体! Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife!
是他吗? 是啊 Is that him? Yeah!
他们从哪儿冒出来的? Oh
见鬼! 他们追了我们20英里 Holy shit! They chased us 20 miles.
回来 给我回来! 艾伦! You come back here! You get back here! Allen!
公园大道2300号 是彩票公司 2300 Park Avenue. It's the offices of the lottery.
该死 就是我们找到的那些彩票 Holy shit
厄森通过发售彩票来弥补他的损失 Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses.
320亿 一个州的收入啊 $32 billion. That's the state's money.
我们怎么跟毛奇交代? 有人亏钱了 Well
我们只有一条粗略的语音信息和一个地址 We have a scratchy cell phone message and an address.
半个案子都不算 It's still half a case.
肯定有书面记录 There's gotta be some sort of paper trail.
要是能找到 我们可以跟踪 If we can find that
然后告诉毛奇这事 then we can go to Mauch.
我调查了厄森的会计公司 So
发现一些有意思的事 and I found some pretty interesting stuff.
G-D会计公司... It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has...
等等 到我了 Hold on
我把爱献给了厄琳 I gave my love to Erin
她答应等我 She promised to be true
当我从战场上回来 I went to war to come back
已经有5个英国士兵 And find five British soldiers
和她有过恋情 Had their way with her
他们互相吸引 It was consensual
唱完了? Done?
G-D会计公司在新泽西州的费尔良 Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm in Fair Lawn
只有一个客户 大卫·厄森 has only one client
这种手法对他来说太老套了 Pretty rinky-dink operation for a guy like that.
貌似我们该去新泽西拜访一下会计公司 Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm.
累死人的一天 That's a shitty day.
他们的父亲都被吊死 And all their fathers were hanged
所有的孩子哭红了双眼 And the children all got pink eye
哈利波特全集丢进火坑 While their Harry Potter books were burned
唱这些歌很有意思吗? 太压抑了 Do you have fun singing those songs? They're really depressing.
有意思啊 它们包含了深刻的历史 I do. They're full of rich history.
靠 我迟到了 该去见我女朋友的 Damn it
你们不是分手了吗 I thought you said you guys split up.
我俩之间只谈工作行吗 Let's just keep our thing about work
好的 再见 兄弟 All right. Goodbye
别碰我 Hey
你在干嘛呢 What the hell are you doing?
跳舞啊 特里 你在这干嘛 I'm dancing
我爱你 弗朗辛 I love you
要是你没和我分手 If you were with me
你也不用为了钱在这跳脱衣舞啊 you wouldn't be here in this strip club
这是芭蕾排练室 特里 这里的钢管是水平的 This is a ballet studio
他很爱你 弗朗辛 He loves you very much
他是谁 你在这干嘛 艾伦? Who is this guy? What are you doing here
我们是同事嘛 It's the code. I'm your partner.
我来挺我的朋友兼工作伙伴的 I'm here to support a friend and a work colleague.
弗朗辛 这个人在骚扰你吗 Francine
他是谁 你的新男友吗? 太好了 你有新男友了 Who's this
他是我的舞伴 特里 He is my dance partner
我知道这对你来说是个惊喜 I know that this is a big surprise
但是除了当警察 世界上还有很多别的事可做 but there are other things in the world besides being a cop. Okay?
如果你没别的事的话 我要跳舞了 Now
怎么 你觉得我不会这玩意么 What
太出乎意料了 特里 That was surprisingly good
我爱你 弗朗辛 你不懂什么叫爱 I love you
他很爱你 弗朗辛! He loves you very much
他说话我听得见 谢谢你 I heard it when he said it. Thank you.
你看你怎么对我的吗? 你森森地割裂了我的心 You know what you're doing to me? You're killing me inside.
别瞪我 死人! And don't eyeball me
你就跟这么磕碜的瘾君子眉来眼去吗? You're running around with this crack-dealing drug addict?
特里! Terry!
他对你的行为很失望! He does not approve of your behavior!
你可以走了 Can you please go?
你也是 站门口那神经病! And you
走吧 艾伦 Let's go
我们今天都跳了一场自己的芭蕾 I think we all experienced our own ballet today.
饱含情绪的芭蕾 The ballet of emotion and feelings.
你是来煽风点火的 You're kind of making things worse.
没事吧? 没事 You okay? Yeah
我不知道你居然会跳舞 Hey
我小时候学的舞步 去取笑别人 We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids
给他们看这些舞步是多可笑 show them how queer they were
你学跳舞是为了讽刺别人啊? 我想是的 You learned to dance like that sarcastically? Yeah
别掺和我的私人生活行吗? 小孩的心思你不懂 Stay out of my personal life
专注这个案子吧 明天新泽西见 Stay focused on the case
好吧 特里 All right
我觉得很释然 不知道你怎么想 Hey
看这个 6个月以前的文章 Here
讲了彩票业 Talking about how the lottery is looking
投资300亿美元的行为过于激进 to invest their $30-billion fund more aggressively.
所以他在贩毒? So he's dealing drugs?
跟贩毒没关系 我们不是在拍"迈阿密风云" No
对不起 我... Look
我今天情绪不好 希拉和我昨晚闹矛盾了 I am in a bit of a state today. Sheila and I got into it last night.
怎么了 What happened?
她想去进修机构学一门课 She was interested in taking this class at The Learning Annex
叫"口交的艺术" Called"The Art of Oral Sex"?
我们目前没有足够的预算 You know
她总是只考虑自己 It's always about her.
是啊...是不应该 Yeah
我给你准备了一份礼物 Hey
我看见它就想到你了 I just saw something
我不想搞得很奇怪 and so
只是表示友好哈 I just wanted to be nice.
当然很奇怪了 Of course it's weird.
一个成年男人给另一个男人送礼物 It's a grown man giving another man a present.
给你 打开看看 There you go. Open it up.
没事的 不用谢 It's okay
我喜欢送人礼物 I like to do things like that.
看它说的什么 Take a look what it says.
FBI FBI.
女性身体检查官 Female Body Inspector.
我们都属于执法系统 You know
都喜欢女人 We both like women.
但我的幽默感很奇怪 病态的幽默 But I got a weird sense of humor. I'm a sick puppy.
我不能看它 看一眼就要笑死过去 I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard.
我也是 Me
做得好 很有礼貌 Real nice. You know
好 别再来这套了 Okay. Don't do that shit any more.
相信我 不会了 Yeah
你明白它为什么搞笑吗 Do you understand what's so funny about it
因为它写着FBI 字母一样 标志也一样 'Cause it's the FBI
第一眼看上去 它只是一个写了"FBI"的马克杯 And at first glance
但你再看一眼"女性身体检查官"? But then at second glance
太扯了 这都想得出来... Get out of town. This is outrageous...
闭嘴! Shut up!
总有一天 我会越过你的怒火 I'm gonna climb over that anger wall of yours
直达你的内心 one of these days
那将是我的光荣 and it's gonna be glorious.
我们是不是该告诉毛奇 我们在查这个地方? Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're going to check this place out?
为什么? 我们只是调查一下 For what? We're just going to check it out.
我知道 但这是程序嘛 I know
特里表示沉默 Terry answers to no one.
我该干嘛干嘛 I do what I do.
哪家会计公司会在周二上午11点关门啊? What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a. m. On a Tuesday?
这就是个空壳 This is a shithole.
我喜欢爆破 I love bombs.
我听不见了! 我听不见了! I can't hear! I can't hear!
我手上起水泡了! There's blood blisters on my hands!
额滴神呐! Oh
为什么电影里的人没有被炸飞 How do they walk away in movies without flinching
还能安然无恙地路过呢? when it explodes behind them?
不可能! 电影神马的都是浮云! There's no way! I call bullshit on that!
当他们乘坐千年鹰号飞离死亡之星时 When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star
死亡之星就发生了大爆炸 全是鬼扯! and it was followed by the explosion
不许你说星球大战的坏话! 演的都是真的! Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate!
我要做个核磁共振 I need an MRI.
我要做核磁共振! 我软组织受伤了 I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage.
我的软组织绝对受伤了 There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage.
消停一下吧 Please stop.
我想蜷缩在女人的怀里喝奶! I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed right now!
消防部认为是天然气泄漏 Fire Department said it was a gas leak
但不可能 这是定时炸弹 but no way. That was timed.
他们不想杀我们 他们要我们害怕 They didn't wanna kill us
是啊 他们成功了 Yeah
我累了 行了吧? I'm tired of this. All right?
我不想再经历爆炸或被人用枪指着头了 I'm tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me.
我想坐回办公桌跟前 I wanna go back to my desk.
你知道吗? 生活有时就是这样震耳欲聋 Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears.
你不能一辈子都躲在办公桌后面 You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life.
为什么不可以? 我已经躲了很多年了 You know what? Yes
办公室里就没有爆炸 There's no explosions at my desk.
家里有豪宅娇妻 但没有爆炸 There's no explosions at my home with my plain wife
你在害怕什么? What are you afraid of
我是你的搭档 你可以告诉我 你在害怕什么? I'm your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from?
我那时大二 I was a sophomore in college.
我读的大学决定增加学费 The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition.
我一个同学 布兰达 A classmate of mine
为了筹钱交学费 in an effort to raise money and stay in school
想到了一个好点子 came up with a nifty plan
就是跟男生约会 问他们要钱 where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money.
我随时都有约会 I go on dates all the time
跟不同的男人 with a whole bunch of
我需要人帮忙 And I kind of need somebody to help me out
就是找个搭档帮我牵线救场 like
嗯 我可以安排 Yeah
对对 我也是这么想的 Yeah
提供接送服务什么的 对对 Provide transportation services. Yeah
聊天很愉快 感谢你来找我 It's gonna be a good time. Thanks so much for asking me.
她说她要我帮忙 确保约会顺利 She said she needed my help to make sure that the dates went okay
男人付给她钱 她答应给我分红 and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage.
天啊 你是个皮条客 什么? 晕 不是 Oh
我只是想帮朋友 No
我们开始挣了很多钱 We started making a lot of money.
没想到的是 布兰达的朋友们 And wouldn't you know it
也想加入这个活动 decided they wanted to be a part of it.
没过多久 我保护的女孩子有14个之多 Pretty soon
她们都给我分红 while they gave me money.
你养了一窝妓女 That's called a stable of whores.
我们决定给我换个名字 We decided I shouldn't use my real name.
于是我起了"盖特"这名 So we came up with the name"Gator."
你绝对是皮条客 I'm telling you
不是! 你有没有听我说话? No! Are you even listening to the story?
总之 有一天我醒来 看着镜子里的自己 Anyway
发现我讨厌自己这副面孔 and I don't like what I see.
我已经无法掌控局面 而我都没有意识到 I mean
在皮条客那行没有良心可言 You can't have a conscience in the pimp game.
一天晚上 我最喜欢的两个女孩 One night
凯蒂和卓琳说"加入我们吧" Candy and Jolene
接着她们把我丢在了急救室 and they dropped me off at the emergency room.
我就在那遇见了希拉 那时我很狼狈 That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess.
我给自己和她许诺 I made a promise to myself and to her
再也不能让人生失控 that I would never get out of control again.
所以 我一毕业 So
就做了警察局的会计 I became an accountant for the police department.
我能想到的最稳定的工作 The most stable job I could think of.
管社会治安的会计 An accountant for law and order.
我再也不想体验被生活操纵的日子了 I just don't wanna ever feel out of control like that ever again.
别担心 哥支持你 Don't worry. I got your back.
我们去找厄森 看他什么反应吧 Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks.
我不想再蹑手蹑脚地查案了 好 I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. Okay.
要么从木板上走过去 要么脱裤子 You can either walk the plank or take your panties off.
你选一个 The choice is yours.
我选脱裤子 I want to take my panties off.
真聪明 You've made a wise choice
厄森先生 甘博探员 Mr. Ershon
和枪击德里克·杰特的那人来了 and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here.
请进 先生们 Gentlemen
记得我们吗 帅哥? 当然记得 请坐 Remember us
看她爆炸了 There she blows.
两杯伏特加 不要青柠 只要酸黄瓜 Two of those Russian waters
猜我们从哪儿来? 你的会计公司爆炸了 Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office.
是啊 该死的天然气泄漏 Yes
天然气泄漏? Gas leak?
你口臭泄漏还差不多 The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now.
我只能感谢上天没人受重伤 I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way.
我憎恨死亡 I absolutely abhor death.
得了吧 耶稣 别装了 Hey
我们知道抓你的人并非你的保安 We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you.
也知道你想引大鱼上钩来弥补损失 And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses.
你再胡说 我就打得你鼻青脸肿 You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises.
这杯水太好喝了 特里 God
你喝了吗? 闭嘴 艾伦 have you tried the water? Shut up Allen
我向你保证 我完全不知道你们在说什么 I assure you I have no idea what you're talking about
我知道脚手架这摊子事 I understand there was a bit of a mix-up
有一点混乱 with the whole scaffolding business.
这块黄瓜让这甁水更加... The cucumber accents the water in such a way that...
为了表示我的歉意 Perhaps by way of apology
我可以送你们尼克斯队比赛的前排座位 I can offer you my personal courtside seats
还有大使俱乐部的通行证 for the Knicks game
加油 尼克斯队 加油 Come on
我对尼克斯的狂热 是很有感染力的 I got Knicks' fever and it's catching!
嘿 我觉得坐到这里很奇怪 感觉像是贿赂 Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe.
是贿赂 狗仔子 我看到前场票 就没多想了 It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch
走吧 come on
打给我 call me
抱歉 你耍得什么把戏 Excuse me. That was a trick.
别再玩了 No more
先生们 你们要选 妈妈咪呀还是泽西男孩 Gentlemen
太棒了 难以置信 Fantastic! You're so unbelievable!
该死 他又耍了这招 Damn it. He did it again.
不好意思 不要再给票了 Excuse me. No more tickets.
厄森先生 我试过让他们在休息室等 Mr. Ershon
没事 苏珊 两杯冰川矿泉水 加地中海青柠 That's okay
不 不 不用 不用水 我们不是来喝水的 No
不 我倒是很想要杯水的 No
泽西男孩很棒吧? 不是棒 太美妙绝伦了 How great is Jersey Boys? It's not great. It's fantastic!
你绝对贱卖了 那壮丽的场景 服装 You totally undersold it. The pageantry
哇哦 正翻了的音乐剧 Wow
嘿 过来 Hey. Get over here.
你怎么回事? 什么? What's wrong with you? What?
我们来这里不是聊这个的 That's not what we're here for.
我们来唱白脸 黑脸 好吗? We're gonna do good cop
既然是书中记载中最古老的方法 肯定会有用 It's the oldest game in the book for a reason
我来硬的 然后你再参与进来 I come strong
明白吗? 明白 You got it? Yeah.
我来硬的 然后你参与进来 对 明白 I come strong
你给我听着 你个杂种 Now you listen to me
就我们俩的事 我要把你撕个粉碎 It's just you and me
你是怎么掩盖你的损失的? How did you cover your losses up?
你为哪个毒品巨头卖命? What drug cartel are you working with now?
好吧 我要和你说 你比较理智 不 看着我 Okay
你想和我说? 你想和我说? You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me?
艾伦 你在干吗? 你在干吗? 艾伦 Allen
我让你吃屎 I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit!
给我滚开 Get away from me!
他在哪? Where is he?
听着 我真的很抱歉 Look
我看到你那么有攻击性 我想 I saw how aggressive you were being
"哇 我要做得更狠才行 "Wow
"因为我们在唱黑脸 黑脸" "since we're doing bad cop
什么? 不是 我是说 What? No
"白脸 黑脸"我是黑脸 你是白脸 "Good cop
好吧 事情都这样了 Okay
算了 我以为你说黑脸 黑脸 That's it. I thought you said
好吧 当你发疯那会 看看我从他桌上拿到什么 Well
我想这是他的电话清单 不错 Think it's his phone sheet. Nice.
七个打给彩票办公室的电话 Seven calls to the lottery office.
这可能是我们破毛奇案的证据 That could be the evidence we need for Mauch.
退后 哥伦比亚毒枭 你从哪把他们招来的? Get back. Colombian drug lords. Where are you getting that from?
老天 Jeesus
如果你没有打伤杰特 你的事业还不飞黄腾达? Can you imagine where you'd be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter?
我们惹来的 对吧? We call this in
看来我们已经拿到所有证据了 Looks like we got all the evidence we need.
抱歉 我的小蝴蝶 I'm sorry
我们把他们装上车 把他们送回去 We'll load them up
我靠 什么? Holy shit. What?
你什么意思? 什么? 我们在哪? What do you mean
我们在沙漠 We're in the high desert.
他们又拿走我的鞋子 他妈的拿我鞋干吗? They took my shoes again
他们拿走了你的木枪? 是的 They took your wooden gun? Yeah.
喂? 喂 吉恩吗? 我是说 长官 Hello? Hello
长官 我是艾伦·甘博 Captain
是 是 你在哪? 发生什么事了? Yeah
长官 这说来话长了 但是我长话短说 Captain
我们在拉斯维加斯 好吗? We are in Las Vegas
我们被绑架了 We were kidnapped
被放在一辆货运火车 然后运到这了 put on a freight train
你就给我说到这 别给我扯蛋 Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me.
长官 我就和不你绕弯子了 Captain
听着 我们认为有事发生 好吗? Look
我们认为厄森想通过彩票来掩盖他的损失 We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses.
慢着 我明白地告诉过你几次"别查厄森"? Wait. How many times did I explicitly say to you
特里 长官想知道 Terry
他告诉过我们几次别查厄森了 how many times has he asked us to lay off of Ershon.
两次 Twice.
两次 特里说两次 我同意 Twice. Terry says twice. I agree.
我要挂了 我无话可说 I'm hanging up. I'm done.
我跟你说 我手一摸到牌 I gotta tell you
牌九的感觉立马来了 a taste for that Pai Gow.
马丁和佛西 超级警察 三 二 Martin and Fosse
我们暴打那个垃圾 拿回了7万4的钻石 7万4呀 So
破了卡斯蒂的案子 Solved the Castien case.
7万4? 你就拿回这些? $74
那里有上百万的钻石 There's millions of dollars of diamonds in that place.
这样吧 甘博? 你闭上你的臭嘴行吗? How about this
好吗? 闭嘴 All right? Just shut it.
霍兹 甘博 长官找你们 Hoitz
我知道跑题了 但是凯夫拉尔有版权吗? I know it's off the subject
长官? 是 Captain? Yeah.
我来的不是时候吗? 不 进来 进来 Is it a bad time? No
我不用 对吗? 是 还有你 Not me
伙计们 我想你们一定认识 Fellows
受人尊敬的拉德福检查官 with the venerable DA Radford.
他屈尊来拜访我们 He wanted to come down and pay us a visit.
你好 先生们 Hello
你好 先生 嘿 Hello
我在和吉恩讨论 他比较喜欢长官这个称呼 You know
是 我在和吉恩讨论 你知道 有意思的 Yes
我不知道你们捅了什么篓子 I don't know what you two have been up to
但我一直接到一些从未打电话给我的人的电话 but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get calls from.
我呆在执法部门40年 我学到了一样东西 In 40 years of enforcing the law
当这种事发生的时候 就停手吧 When that happens
吉恩 你家人怎么样? 很好 谢谢你关心 Gene
我儿子是双性恋 所以... 很棒啊 My son's bisexual
先生 我们了解双方的立场了吗? Gentlemen
别再多管闲事 会的 Cut the crap! Will do.
一个从来没有来过这的人 Guy never comes down here.
二十年 我想我只在这栋大楼里见过他一次 Twenty years
他是个重要人物 那个人 他就坐在这 He's a heavyweight cat
是的 我想重点不是这个 不管怎么样 听着 Yeah. I think you missed the point. Anyway
巡警在哈德逊河下游找到你们的枪 Blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River.
给你 特里 Here you go
这样吧? You know what?
这把木枪我扣下了 I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun.
把真枪还给我? 不 To give me back my real gun? No.
因为我要给你这个 'Cause I'm gonna give you this.
是把哨子 当你碰上麻烦 就吹这个 It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you run into any trouble
有真枪的人会过来帮你 and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out.
我们被劫持了 长官 这是真的 We were abducted
厄森有问题 他的目标是彩票 Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery!
接下来 我要你们 Next
把你们认为的所有证据交给证监会 all the evidence you think you have to the SEC.
金融部分是他们裁决的范围 The financial district's under their jurisdiction.
你还不明白吗? 这个案子是我们管的 Don't you get it? This case is talking to us!
我是只孔雀 长官 你这次得让我飞一下吧 I'm a peacock
你知道吗 特里? 我们别争了 孔雀不飞 You know what
他们就飞那么一点 是 像企鹅那样 They fly
还有个事 帮我个忙 别逞能 One more thing
是意外吗 还是你只有意引述TLC的歌? Was that accidental
我都不知道你在说什么 I don't even understand the reference.
你不知道你说了什么? 我不知道那是什么 You don't understand what you said? I don't know what that is.
出去 好吧 Get out. Go.
他们怎么知道这事的? How did they get that story?
我真是烦透了被当做弄巧成拙的笨蛋了 I'm tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing.
嘿 伙计们 Hey
有一个退休金的大型再投资项目的代理投票 There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up
如果你们想过老... 去你的 鲍勃 so if you just wanna come by the old... Damn it
我问你件事 Let me ask you something.
除了打断别人 你还会干点别的事吗? What do you even do around here besides interrupt people?
好吧 我是工会的财务主管 Well
我煮了一壶无咖啡因咖啡 I make a wicked pot of decaf.
正是 你一无是处 Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit!
也许没错 特里 这就是为啥我总是很难过的原因 Probably right
我出去走走 I'm gonna go for a walk.
鲍勃 说点什么 Bob! Say something.
回来 鲍勃 Come on! Bob!
我不是那个意思 好吗? 我很生气 I didn't mean it
其实 我们不放在这 这是一个安装的艺术品 Actually
这个咖啡桌? 是的 我们不在这上面放饮料 This coffee table? Yes. We don't put drinks on it.
50万? 他看得懂 恭喜 Five hundred thousand? He can read! Congratulations.
什么? 抱歉 你来对地方了吗? What? I'm sorry
还是走错了? 我... Or not? I'm...
特里 他...好吧 Terry. Does he... Okay.
好吧 对不起 特里 你来这干吗? Well... Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here?
我想和你在一起 不 特里 这不可能 I want to be with you. No
你知道你属于哪里 波克山 躺我的身上 You know where you belong. On top of me in the Poconos.
而现在 你却在这卖这个脏不拉叽的咖啡桌? Instead
我是说 看看 这东西不知所谓 I mean
特里 这里哈弗菲尔德-詹姆森的原作 Terry
混乱的咖啡桌? 表示我们破碎的自尊 The chaos of the coffee table? It represents our fractured egos.
你认为我不认识这个假装艺术家的拉圾? You think I don't know about this artsy-fartsy crap?
这个咖啡桌不是什么劳什子的自尊 This coffee table isn't the ego.
它表示在资本主义主导的与世隔绝的面前 It represents our shattered sense of community
我们大众乱七八糟的品味 in the face of capitalist-driven isolation.
看起来像是辛迪·谢尔曼 Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman
或是弗兰克·斯特拉的作品 or Frank Stella.
你怎么知道这个 特里? How did you know that
我在罗德岛设计学院上了几堂课 I took some classes at RISD
这样我可以取笑我邻居那些差劲的假艺术家 so I could make fun of these lame artsy douches in my neighborhood.
特里 声音小点 我干吗要说小点 Terry
这个男人在骚扰你? Is this man bothering you?
你和这个讨厌鬼上床了 Are you actually having sex with this creep?
特里 他是同志 好不? Terry
他甚至穿了件"我是同志"的T恤 He's even wearing a T-shirt that says
好吗? 还有 他是我老板 All right? And also
为你高兴 小子 好吧 Happy for you
你现在可以走开吗? 我在和我的女人说话 Can you get out of here now? I'm talking to my lady.
瑞格先生 没事的 特里正要走了 Mr. Reger
嘟嘟得不错 水手 老天 Nice toot
特里 你在干吗? Terry
听着 为了让你事业有所发展 我等了你三年 Look
再多给我一年 Just give me one more year.
特里 没有再一年了 我们完了 Terry
好吧 Fine.
特里 别碰那个 特里 哦 我的天啦 Terry
我不需要这破玩意 我不需要你 I don't need this shit. I don't need you!
还有你再打给我 我也不会回来 And when you call me
哦 小子 好正的1号哦 好男人哟 Oh
我要把这破玩意烧成粉碎 I'll burn this bitch down to the ground!
有生气 有活力 我喜欢他的直接 Fresh! Energetic! I love his rawness!
别评价我了 好吗? 我是个人 我不是件艺术品 Stop critiquing me
是的 你是的 好哇 Yes
我是飞越彩虹的孔雀 I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow!
是的 是的 Yes! Yes!
这个炖牛小排尝起来像狗屁股 These braised short ribs taste like a dog's asshole.
宝贝 你知道吗 我坐在这里想 Sweetie. You know what
这个世界有谁会慢慢炖狗屁股 "Who in the world would slow roast a dog's asshole
给他们的老公吃? "and serve it to their husband?"
你会的 你太可怕了 怎么了? You would. You are being awful. What's wrong?
长官不让我们查那个案子 我很遗憾 Captain took us off the case. I'm sorry.
我告诉特里我在大学的黑暗日子 I told Terry about my dark days in college
让我感触良多 and it brought up some feelings.
好吧 亲爱的 那是很久以前了 Well
你已经不是之前那个你了 You're not that same person you were.
不 你还不明白 我内心有个恶魔 No
它想出来 出来走走 It wants to get out. It wants to walk around.
它想四处游荡弄点钱 想买些鞋子 It wants some walking around money
它想要和人们边走边说 And it wants to walk up with the people and say
"嘿 盖特不是说着玩的" "Hey
你明白吗? 是的 You feel me? Yeah.
盖特从不会这样 从不会说着玩的 Gator never been about that
宝贝 对不起 没事 Sweetie
我只是... 记得我们相遇的那个晚上吗? I just... Remember that night we met?
主治医生告诉我 The attending physician told me
"后院有个嗑药的皮条客" "We got a drugged-out pimp in the back."
我去到后院 打开窗帘 And I went back there
你脆弱 害怕 You were weak
糟透了 发炎 伤心地哭着 ass up
那时候 我知道 At that moment
"嘿 他不是皮条客 皮条客才不哭呢" "Hey
皮条客不哭 Pimps don't cry
不 他们不会 No they do not
他们不会流泪 They don't shed a tear
皮条客才不哭 Pimps don't cry
他们不会流泪 They never shed a tear
我们去床上躺躺 Come lay with me.
会让你有安全感 我们来做爱 来吧 Be safe
每次你说安全感 都让我伤心欲绝 Every time you say
你得让我成为我要成为的人 You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be.
艾伦 我怀孕了 Allen
是谁的孩子? Whose baby is that?
是哪个男人把你肚子搞大的? Who's the man who did that to you?
盖特的女人都会用套子 Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!
对不起 看我都说的什么啊 I'm sorry. See
哦 老天 Oh
你走吧 You need to leave.
滚 滚出去 艾伦 滚出去 Get out! Get out
嘿 Hey
嘿 你在这干吗? Hey. What are you doing here?
我有女人的问题的时候就来这 Come here when I have lady troubles
也就是说我每晚都来这 which means I come here about every night.
你在这里干吗? What are you doing here?
希拉今晚和我吵了一架 Sheila and I got into it tonight.
她把我赶出来了 She threw me out.
好吧 直到你老婆把你踢出家 Well
你都不是个警察 老兄 till your wife throws you out of the house
你在意卡斯蒂抢劫案 Does it bother you that the Castien robbers
只带走了七万四的钻石吗? only took 74 grand in diamonds?
他们是垃圾 谁在乎? 我是说 They're junkies. Who cares? I mean...
不过 我不知道一个垃圾会不会降低标准 I don't know if a junkie can go down a 20-story zipline
你们两个怎么样? How are you going?
我们准备在那台红色普锐斯里搞个小派对 We're about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here
如果你们愿意加入的话 if you wanna join us.
别靠近那台普锐斯 好吗? You're not going anywhere near that Prius
我们的意思是 一群脏兮兮的 Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about a bunch of hobos
无业游民 with fingers in each other's pooper
在陌生人的车子里大声放广播 in a stranger's car with talk radio playing really loud.
今晚会很不错 It's gonna be a nice evening.
好吧 我们不参加 我们没兴趣 Well
我再说一遍 Let me rephrase it.
我们有一罐老芥茉酱 一只卷毛狗 We got a jar of old mustard
我们过去 然后在上面画些"D""A"什么的 and we're just get in there and we're gonna put some D's in some A's.
嘿 你们是潇洒哥和他的兄弟们吗? Hey
你咋知道我们是谁? 你在车内留了张纸条 How do you know who we are? You left a note in that car.
警察 笨蛋 他是警察 我们马上走 快呀 Police
嘿 快点走 小子们 他们是条子 Hey! Goose it
跑的时候 在那车上搞点破坏 Rub your dicks on the car as you're running away!
你把我漂亮的普锐斯车变成灾难 You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare!
我们会在你车上做爱 还会再发生的 We are gonna have sex in your car! It will happen again!
我不知道我今晚要睡哪 I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
幸运的是 我知道我们要去哪喝酒 Fortunately
万事通 我请客 走吧 Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on.
不 我已经有瓶啤酒了 不 不 不 不 No
我说的是真的喝酒 I'm talking about doing some serious drinking.
和特里·霍兹喝酒 Drinking with Terry Hoitz.
真不爽 兄弟 我们查这个案子屁滚尿流 This sucks
现在我们要交出所有证据? now we gotta hand over all of our evidence?
是 是不爽 Yeah
哦 老天 我宿碎 Oh
所以 你们是执法部门? So
是 我们是独立政府部门 Yeah
隶属于FBI和美联储 along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve
管理股票市场和企业欺诈 regulate the stock market and corporate fraud.
这个美联储是一所监狱? And the Federal Reserve is a prison?
不 它是一家设定利率和贷款给其它银行的 No
盈利性银行 and loans money to other banks.
那是垃圾桶吗? 是的 就在这 Is that a wastebasket? Yeah
谢谢你 Thank you.
你没事吧? 老天呀 You all right? Holy hell!
真的很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我昨晚喝太醉了 I got so drunk last night.
我想我把一管牙刷当成太空人食物 I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.
进来吧 兄弟们 Come on in
开玩笑吧 你是厄森的律师 You gotta be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer.
我们把我们的调查资料给你? We're turning over our investigation to you?
我向你们保证 我和大卫·厄森之间 Let me assure you there will be no conflict of interestewx
没有利益冲突 between me and David Ershon.
如果有实质性的调查 And if this were an actual investigation
我会立即避嫌退出 I would immediately recuse myself.
这是我们所有的证据 This is all the evidence we have
我真心希望你能认真对待 and I truly hope you take this seriously.
是 会的 Yes. Very much so.
据我所知 我了解到 From everything I've heard
你们在此类调查上是最棒的 you guys are the best at these types of investigations.
除了安然和美国国际集团 Outside of Enron and AIG
还有伯纳德·麦道夫 and Bernie Madoff
世界电讯 贝尔斯登 雷曼兄弟 WorldCom
好的 谢谢你 谢谢你 探员 Okay. Thank you. Thank you
你要不要坐下 还是你站着? 我站着就好 Would you like a seat
好吧 我向你们保证 Okay. Let me just assure you fellas
大卫·厄森是一个正直的公民 David Ershon is an upstanding citizen.
我今晚还要和他在俱乐部打壁球 I am playing squash with him tonight at the club
我们还要吃晚餐呢 and we're having dinner.
你给我听着 你们这些标榜贵族的猴子 You listen to me
你和厄森一起打壁球 对吗? you play squash with Ershon
你小孩和他小孩上同一间学校? Your kids go to school with his?
你怎么知道他是不是清白? How would you know if he's clean or not?
我会看看你们的证据 I will take a look at your evidence
另外我会再查一下财务状况 and I will take a second look at the financials.
我再回来找你麻烦的时候 And when I come back and bust your ass
我们会把大卫·厄森关进美联储 we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve!
他还是不明白这个观念 He still doesn't understand the concept.
你在干吗? What are you doing?
我们刚刚把我们所有的证据 We just handed all of our evidence over
都交给那个坏蛋的律师 to the bad guy's lawyer!
你是个大人吗 嗯? Are you a big man
我在和你说话 什么? I'm talking to you. What?
你清早起来 你说 You wake up in the morning
"我要穿上大男孩的裤子?(比喻他幼稚) "I'm putting on my big boy pants"?
"看 我系了皮带 "Look
"我穿上了我男孩的裤子" 不是 "I've got big boy pants on!"No!
你借一件小夹克 你去呀? You borrow a little jacket
就因为你穿了大男孩的裤子 所以你吃午餐? You take your lunch 'cause you got big boy pants on?
你有了大男孩的裤子 还有你的食物? You got your big boy pants and your snack?
我可以大声 狂吼地说 I could say big
我可以表达感情 I could be demonstrative!
停下来 我们不是 我们不是这样做的 Stop! We don't
你吓坏我了 兄弟 停下来 You're scaring the shit out of me
你就是这么控制自己的? 在民主社会? Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy?
你到底在干吗 兄弟? What the hell are you doing
我只是受够了你总是生气 乱吼乱叫 I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time.
我没精力了 It's exhausting.
我觉得我是绿巨人的搭档 I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk.
你想知道我为什么总是生气吗? You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time?
因为我越是想做对的事 我越会搞砸 'Cause the more I try and do right
世界金融中心3号23楼有疑似跳楼的人 We've got a possible jumper at 3 World Financial Center
所有部门 火警部门 马上过去 All units
证券交易会 比曼的办公室 SEC. Beaman's office.
我们得过去 We have to go.
但是长官 我们得过去 艾伦 But the Captain. We have to go
所有部门 我需要回应 All units
世界金融中心3号 疑似跳楼者 Possible jumper
靠 是比曼 Shit. It's Beaman!
他一定知道些事情 韦斯利 He's gotta know something. Wesley!
霍兹探员和甘博探员 我们来处理 Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this.
我在凤凰城大学上了堂谈判的在线课程 I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating.
我需要一个牧师和一个扩音器 I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn.
我没有扩音器 有人有扩音器吗? I got no bullhorn. Does anyone have a bullhorn?
扩音器 有人有吗? 卡车 Bullhorn
警察处理公务 我需要使用你的扩音机 Police business. I need to use your PA system.
好的 我把它打开 Okay
比曼先生? 唐·比曼先生? Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman?
是韦斯利 我知道厄森的韦斯利... It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's...
听着 你的生命中还有很多值得活下来的东西 Look
很多伟大的东西 像是汽水 大支新鲜的罐装汽水 A lot of great things
他们不在乎 They do not care!
把这给我 我知道怎么和他说 Give me this. I know how to talk to him.
听着 我们知道你是个卑鄙的家伙 没人在乎你 Listen
一坨臭屎 Rotten piece of shit.
比我说的更差劲 That's worse than what I was saying.
我和你说真话 唐 I'm not gonna lie to you
这下面的人正开始嘀咕 People down here are starting to murmur
你没有胆子跳 that you don't have the balls to do it.
我不在乎 是呀 I don't care! Yeah.
我知道你能做到的 I say you can do it.
我是说 我不想要你跳 I mean
我只是说你有这个能力 I'm just saying you have the capability.
看 他飞起来了 Look
别吹了 Stop that.
半瓶杜松子酒 椅子碰翻了 Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over.
看看这个 这是很明显挣扎的迹向 Look at this
要把这个拍下来 好吗? Make sure you get this
探员们 这里没你们什么事了 可以走了 Detectives
如果厄森的目标正是彩票呢? What about Ershon targeting the lottery?
你们知道为什么厄森 You know why Ershon was calling down
这阵子一直打去彩票办公室么? to the lottery offices all those times?
因为他勾搭上了这个强力球女孩 Because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl
电视上滚球的那个 the one on TV with all the numbered balls.
是 她上周申请了法院制止令 Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him last week.
是时候当面和你们说了 It was right there in front of you the whole time.
不会吧 你们被调走了 Can't be. You guys are getting transferred.
什么? 交警 What? Traffic.
是 没错 Yeah
你 你要在城内日常巡逻 You
你要在城内日常巡逻 You're gonna walk a beat downtown.
说完了 不 长官 你在说什么 It's done. No. Captain
不 不 说完了 No
给你们省点油 长官 Save yourselves some gas. Captain!
我们有没有申诉程序 Is there an appeal process we can...
你得做你应该做的 长官 Had to do what you had to do
哇 真够惨的 Wow! That hurt.
不好意思 我车哪去了 他们拖走了 Excuse me. Where's my car? They towed it.
一些无家可归的人在上面捣乱 Couple of homeless people were messing around in it.
那是一辆正式的警车 也就骗骗我 That's an official police car. Could have fooled me.
哇 毛奇很生气 嗯? Wow
是吗? Really?
我在我老婆面前唯一值得骄傲的事 The only thing I had to be proud of in my life
就是我当了探员 was being a detective.
我只有这个了 现在这也没了 That was all I had. Now it's gone.
我知道 我知道 你还有我 I know. I know. You still got me.
你还不明白吗? 我不需要你 我从来都不需要你 Don't you get it? I don't want you
我告诉过你 脚手架违规的事是狗屎 I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit.
我不敢相信 我们干了这么多事后 你还是质疑我 I can't believe you still doubt me after everything we've seen.
这是个真的案子 我是真警察 It's a real case
我们只是查错了方向 We just got the wrong target for Ershon.
你带了把哨子 这是真警察的工作 You carry a rape whistle. This is real cop work.
你就没有做过一件男人该做的事情 好吗? There is nothing about you that makes a man a man
你没有枪 没有车 没老婆 现在你拍挡也没了 You got no gun
让我单独呆会 Leave me alone.
一个蠢案子 A mutt case.
特里 告诉你 我是个警察 好吗? Terry
散伙的拍档 A broken partnership.
我是个警察 I'm a cop!
被降级到一个差劲的工作 And getting busted down to a shitty assignment.
艾伦和特里中了"三连彩"了 Allen and Terry hit the trifecta.
但是有时候 当你倒霉的时候 But sometimes when you get your ass kicked
这就是你发现真实的时候 that's when you find out what's real...
需要做什么的时候 ...and what needs doing.
不管是指挥交通 Whether it's directing traffic...
走呀 Come on!
还是破了几百万的诈骗案 ...or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud.
你在这里上班? 是 没错 Do you work here? Yeah
那边那个撞上卡斯蒂的起重球 The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien down there.
也对你的办公室造成损坏? They also did damage to your office?
一些警察过来把它封上了 Some police officers came by and sealed it off.
你记得他们长什么样吗? Do you recall what they looked like?
其中一个有澳洲口音 One of them had an Australian accent.
你不是在州彩票工作吧? You don't happen to do any business for the state lottery
不是 我们的主要客户是兰道公司 No. Our main client is Lendl Global.
可以问下是怎么回事吗? Can I ask what this is about?
本月交警之星 TRAFFIC ENFORCER OF THE MONTH
特里·霍兹 Terry Hoitz
盖特需要他的枪 你个无能的贱人 Gator needs his gat
因为真警察就是这么回事 'Cause that's what a real cop is.
不 我没说把她关起来 我绝没说过"把她关起来" No
一个男人做了他该做的事情 A guy who does what needs to be done.
一个男人知道怎么善用他的黑暗面 A guy who knows how to use his dark side for good.
然后搬去佛罗里达 And then you move to Florida.
一 二 三 进攻 One
特里 是我 Terry
放开我 放开我 是我 艾伦 Tap out. Tap out. It's me
你放不放开 还是你要打我的脸? Are you tapping out
我放开了 I'm tapping out!
你疯了吗? 你在这干吗 兄弟? You crazy? What are you doing
他们可能在监视我们 我可能会杀了你 They might be watching us. Could've killed you.
关灯 什么? Turn out the lights. What?
他们可能在监视 谁? They could be watching us. Who?
我发现一些重要的消息 好吗? I found some big information
关于什么? 重要信息 特里 惊天大秘密 About what? Some scary shit
你怎么进来的? 这地方有安全自锁装置的 How'd you get in here? This place is foolproof.
我们得更小心 你在说什么? We can't be too careful. What are you talking about?
这地方可能被窃听 这里没有窃听器 This place might be bugged. There's no bugs in here.
首先 我想你 First off
发生什么事了? 你听到我说什么了吗? What's going on? Did you hear what I said?
好吧 我也有点想你 谢谢 Fine
好吧 我知道厄森在掩盖谁的损失 Okay. I found out whose losses Ershon has to cover.
是兰道公司 什么? It's Lendl Global. What?
兰道用卡斯蒂抢劫案分散注意 Lendl staged the Castien robbery as a distraction
所以他们可以闯进他们隔壁自己的会计事务所 so they could break into their own accounting firm next door.
然后他们调换了记录来掩盖 They then altered all the records to cover the losses
厄森投资失败的损失 that Ershon had cost them through all of his bad investments.
你不应该做这事的 You're not supposed to be doing this.
你应该巡街的 You're supposed to be walking the beat.
我知道 不过很机智吧 嗯? I know. Pretty tricky
这不好 艾伦 这不好 This is bad
难怪长官想让我们不要管这个 No wonder the captain wanted us to stay out of this.
是的 我想比曼开始质疑了 Yeah
这就是他们杀他的原因 老天 That's why they killed him. Man.
还有件事 Here's the other thing.
明天 会有一单大生意 Tomorrow
厄森主导 Ershon's leading it.
我还是不知道 I still can't figure out
他们在和哪个可怜的家伙做生意 who the poor sucker is they're making the deal with
但是我们得阻止这单生意 but we gotta stop it.
是时候让孔雀飞起来了 It's time to let the peacock fly.
我不去 艾伦 我喜欢我现在做的 I'm not going
我也是 我们是警察 So do I. We're cops.
不 我喜欢我现在做的 我喜欢做交警 很不错 No. I like what I do now. I like working traffic. It's a great gig.
什么? What?
我喜欢指挥交通 我不和你去 I like working traffic. I'm not going with you.
指挥个屁交通? What is this traffic bullshit?
你在说什么? 我在说我的人生 What are you talking about? I'm talking about my life.
我管的54街和第3大道的路口 很忙的 The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums.
这是特里的十字路口 其实交警呢? 他们是好人 It's Terry's intersection. And the traffic guys? They're good guys.
有一个家伙 菲利浦? 他可以离便池20英尺尿尿 There's this one guy
你得看看 艾伦 你得看看 You've gotta see it
你怎么回事? 我们的时光怎么了? What happened to you? What happened to this being our time?
不行 艾伦 我退出 我不干了 No way
上车 拜托 艾伦 我们都知道这是木枪 Get in the car. Come on
离开这 现在上车 你不会开枪打我的 Apartment pop. Now get in the car. You're not gonna shoot me.
好吧 我老实说 这是我第二次开枪 Okay
那别指着我了 So stop pointing it at me.
听着 明天早上 我只知道我要去找毛奇 好吗? Look
为了什么? 他不在乎 For what? He doesn't care.
他回避这个案子很久了 我需要答案 He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers.
我要他看着我的眼睛 告诉我为什么 I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why.
看看新闻 兄弟 没人在乎 Turn on the news
我希望我不是一个人 I hope I'm not alone.
希望你能带上胆子 Hope you bring it.
今天是个重大的日子 大日子 We got a big day out there. Big one.
是满月 人们会很有购物欲的 好吗? We got a full moon. People are gonna be amped
我们来看看有什么热门的提示 好吗? Let's see what we got on hot tips
新的浴室防滑垫进来了 The new bathmats are in.
还有件事 我们在皇家高地有一个连环强奸犯 One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights.
老天 对不起 这是我另外的工作 别管它 别管 Jeez
好吧 也不要不管 Well
如果你住在皇家高地的话 你知道 结伴同行 If you live in Crown Heights
吉恩·毛奇去厨房配件区 Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories.
我得走了 加油 在外面小心点 I gotta go. Go get 'em. Let's be careful out there.
橡树类 The oak.
我想要把橡树类的放一起 和枫树类分开 好吗? I like to keep the oak together and the maple separately
还有这些切菜板? And these chopping boards?
嘿 长官 Hey
嘿 艾伦 怎么样? Hey
你来干吗? 来买新的浴室防滑垫? What are you doing here? Are you here for the bathmats?
我需要你坦白告诉我 我们之间坦白 I need you to be straight with me. Straight with us.
嘿 特里 看看你们俩 Hey
我以为你要指挥交通 让他们堵着吧 I thought you were working traffic today. Let them block the box.
另外 搭档章程 对吧? 谢谢 Besides
嘿 为什么你非要将这个案子终止? Hey
好吧 好吧 我来告诉你们些事情 All right
你们真的查得很深 查得很深 You really went into deep water on this one. You really went in deep.
厄森和上层都有联络 Ershon's connected to all the higher ups
我得为自己留条后路 好吗? and I gotta save what little ass I have left
虽然你现在一直对外界隐瞒这些肮脏的事情 You keep hiding from shit in the world
但最终事情还是会被揭发的 and eventually the world comes to your front door.
很好 说得真好 Nice. That's very nice.
这是我从某集《天使在人间》里学来的台词 I heard it in an episode of Touched By An Angel.
如果你们能悄悄地调查这事 You keep this thing real quiet
并找到确凿的证据 and you make sure you have real evidence
那或许我可以看看有什么能帮得上忙的 and maybe I'll see what I can do.
但如果你们大张旗鼓 But if you make a lot of noise
引来媒体的注意 把地方检察官也牵扯进来 and you attract the media attention
那就不用来找我帮忙了 明白了吗? I am out
行 我们会安静得像教堂里的老鼠一样 Yeah
但职业生涯中总有那么一个案子 But there's one case
是他会倾尽全力去调查的 现在就是这样 where you go all in. This is it.
很好 那就做给我们看吧 All right. Then you do us proud.
因为我不需要"二流警探" 'Cause I don't want no scrubs.
真的? 是的 Really? No.
你没发现这是首TLC乐队的歌? You're not aware that's a TLC song?
我不知道你在说什么 I have no idea what you're talking about.
第二次了 你说不要逞能 Second time. You said chasing waterfalls
现在你又说你不需要二流警探 now you're saying you don't want no scrubs.
我都不知道那是什么来的 这是个口头禅 I don't even understand the reference. It's like a tic.
我不知道你在说什么 I have no idea what you're talking about.
记住 如果这事捅娄子了 就当我们从未谈过这事 Remember
你可以相信我们 必须暗地里行事 You can trust us. Real quiet.
小心谨慎 悄无声息知道吗 You gotta creep. Creep.
又来了 Come on.
除非你是在引用TLC的歌词 You don't say"Creep-creep"
不然你不会说"悄无生息" unless you're quoting TLC.
嘿 伙计们 Hey
你们知道丹森和海史密斯不是好警察吧? You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops
是的 我们知道 但也是没办法的 Yeah
我是说 剩下的人里还有谁能做英雄呢 I mean
虽然我不想说 但有可能是你们俩 Not to be corny
你准备好了吗 You ready?
好了 我们走 Yeah. Let's go.
不 挑染的部分很好看 谢谢 No
性感但又很庄重 谢谢 Sexy but serious. Thank you.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
这他妈都是些什么人? 我只想见一个人而已 Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man.
呃 就是一些人我欠了他们钱 他们自己要来的 You know
他们是谁? Who are they?
呃 车臣的一些爱国者 还有一些企业家 Well
然后那些黑人小伙子是从尼日利亚来的 And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria.
你欠尼日利亚人跟车臣人的钱? You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens?
呃 是的 我欠他们钱 Yes. Yes
你有两下子嘛 谢谢 You're a piece of work. Thank you.
我们最好还是开始吧 Probably best to get started.
这样不错 伙计 我们已经入局了 而且知道比分 This is good
唯一让我不爽的是 The only thing that bugs me is
我还是不知道厄森的目标是什么 we still don't know who Ershon's targeting.
是彩票吗? 幕后又是谁? Is it the lotto? Who is it?
谁在乎? 肯定是某个有钱的蠢蛋 Who cares? Some rich prick.
我必须告诉你们 我对于这个交易很兴奋 I have to tell you
我可以跟你们保证你们投入的每一分钱 And I can assure you that every dime of your money
都将被最大限度的利用 will be invested with the utmost diligence.
你们给出的回报率确实很让人兴奋 Your rates of return are really exciting.
我们的成员们一定会眼前一亮 We think our members are gonna be just thrilled.
是的 过去十年的平均回报率 差不多有18% Yeah. I mean
我们现在要像教堂的老鼠 安静得进去再出来 All right. Quiet as a church mouse
我现在可以感受到你说的那种蛋疼的性奋 I can feel that tingling in my balls you were talking about.
很好 Beautiful.
好了 你们听着 All right
我是甘博探员 这位是霍兹探员 I am Detective Gamble. This is Detective Hoitz.
我们需要你们的配合 We need your cooperation.
大卫·厄森 David Ershon.
你因诈骗和贪污 You're under arrest for fraud
以及涉嫌唐·比曼被杀一案被捕了 and in connection to the murder of Don Beaman.
这不是个好主意 This is a bad idea.
嘿 伙计们 Hey
鲍勃? 你在这干什么? Bob? What are you doing here?
我在投资啊 I'm investing.
你们还记得我们之前谈到的代理人投票那事吗? Do you remember we talked about that proxy vote a while back?
说的就是这事 见鬼 This is what it was for. Holy shit.
这只是一个更冒险的抚恤金投资 It's a more aggressive investment strategy for the pension.
艾伦! 我们太蠢了 他们的目标是警察的抚恤金 Allen! We're the suckers. They're targeting the police pension fund.
先生们 你们无权来这儿 而且也没有授权令 Gentlemen
我们有权采取行动 We are within our rights to take action.
不能再像教堂里的老鼠了! So much for quiet as church mice!
跑! Go!
那些人他妈的到底是谁? Who the hell are those guys?
先生们 Gentlemen
我可以搞到摇滚年代的票 不过视野不太好 I can get you obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages.
虽然我也承认那没吸引力 Even I admit that's not very tempting
但我也不是什么票都能弄到的 该死的! but I'm not made of tickets
到前座去 你是怎么想到的? Get in the front! How do you start this freaking thing?
快点!快! Go on! Go!
妈的! 快开! Shit! Go!
哦 天... Oh
吉妮! 过来! 你 去把车开来! Jeanie! Get over here! You
抓住方向盘! Hold the wheel!
打开后备箱! 知道了 我知道了! Open the back! I got it. I got it!
他们会杀了我 然后再来杀你们 They're gonna kill me. And then they will kill you.
我会先杀了你的! 然后他们会再杀我一次 Well
现有两名游手好闲的警察 他们佩有枪支很危险 We have two rogue police officers. They are armed and dangerous
并且挟持了大卫·厄森 愚蠢的有钱人! and holding David Ershon hostage. Stupid pricks!
是我们 我们是好警察 没错 他们是好警察 It's us
我们去哪? 我们去哪? Where do we go? Where do we go?
我有一个小公寓 没人知道那 I have a small apartment. No one knows about it.
只有我父母跟妓女住过 I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes.
不是同时 那样就麻烦了 Not at the same time. That would be wrong.
你就从头说起吧 Let's hear it from the top
我觉得讲故事的最好方法就是 I think the best way to tell the story is
从结尾开始简单叙述 by starting at the end
然后回到开头 then going back to the beginning
再阶段性地总结跟结尾的关系 and then periodically returning to the end
或许在过程中还应该给出不同角色的一些观点 maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout.
这样才比较生动 Just to give it a bit of dynamism
否则 那就是一个单调的故事 otherwise
快告诉我们到底发生了什么事 Just tell us what happened.
我损失掉了某些人的一大笔钱 I lost a bunch of money from some people
现在他们想要拿回那笔钱 and now they want it back.
那唐·比曼是怎么回事? What about Don Beaman?
比曼知道我篡改了一些我的财务报表 Beaman knew that I had falsified my financials
所以他们派了韦斯利来封他的口 so they sent down Wesley to try and keep him quiet.
韦斯利用枪对着他逼他喝了好多杜松子酒 He forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin
再把他逼上了窗台 and then forced him onto the ledge.
他什么时候掉下去只是时间的问题 It was only a matter of time before he fell.
至少我们阻止了你得到那笔抚恤金 At least we stopped you from getting the pension fund.
嗯 不对 你们没能阻止 那笔钱已在我账户里了 Well
到早上9点 那笔钱汇入了兰道自有基金 By 9:00 in the morning
然后从那个基金汇给好几个海外账户 and from there it's transferred to a dozen offshore accounts.
9点01分之前 这些钱就都会被转走 By 9:01
那如果我们阻止转账呢? 但你们不能阻止 Well
那如果我们阻止转账呢? What if we stop the transfer?
你们必须在9点整时出现在地方银行 You'd have to be at Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly
找到那个办事员 拿到分行代号 find the clerk
我们必须阻止这件事 We gotta stop it.
但那不可能 There's no way.
每一个警察 还有那个澳大利亚疯子和他的手下 Every cop
都会来追捕我们 they'll all be after us.
你们可以放我走 我给你们每人一百万 You could let me go
这不是贿赂 这就是贿赂 It's not a bribe. Of course it's a bribe.
你试图给我们钱让我们不要完成我们的工作 You're offering to pay us money to not do our job.
这不是贿赂 It's not a bribe.
我们今晚低调行事 没人知道这个地方 We hang low here tonight. Nobody knows about this place.
我们会很安全 然后明天我们就去银行 We'll be safe. And tomorrow
但首先 我要去见见希拉 First things first
不行 那很危险 No way
听着 特里 我们都不知道明天会发生什么 Look
但今晚 我必须去见希拉对她有个交代 but tonight
好吧 去吧 去吧 小心点 All right
谢谢 我会的 Thanks
你会帮我跟希拉问好吗? Will you say hi to Sheila for me?
好的 很好 Okay. Okay.
告诉她说 特里有问起过她 Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you.
他希望你知道 He wants to make sure you know
不管发生什么事他都会在你需要时出现的 that he'll be there for you if anything happens.
好 危急关头我会立马出现 Yeah. Drop of a hat
听着 伙计 再往下说就有些奇怪了 Look
如果你发生了什么事 我必须照顾她 If something happens to you
她所有想要的东西 需求 渴望我都会满足她 All of her wants
你干嘛说得好像是事先就决定好的事情? Why do you say it like it's a predetermined thing?
去吧 伙计 Just go
好的 谢谢 Okay. Thanks.
去吧 Go.
雅内可美术馆 Janeco Gallery.
弗朗辛 我是特里 别挂电话 Francine
接电话吧 Please pick up.
喂 Hello.
嘿 亲爱的 我猜你在你妈妈家里 Hey
你知道吗 我不能说太多 我猜这电话被窃听了 You know what
宝贝 你在哪里? 我想见你 Baby
我在我们上次万圣节做了三次的那个地方 I'm near the place where we did it three Halloweens ago.
记得吗? Do you remember?
哦 记得 Okay
我是来告诫你 I'm just warning you
要小心 我觉得他们在监视你们 Watch out. I think they're watching the house.
别担心 亲爱的 我想我有办法跟你说话 Don't worry
我得说 我不想来的 我是说... I have to admit
这么多年来的限制令什么的 After all those years
我担心我可能再也见不到你了 I was worried I might not see you again.
一些很危险的人在找他 There's some very dangerous people after him
现在他们在找我们 and now they're after us.
只是个老女人 It's just the old lady.
你好 艾伦 Hello
你好 罗马斯妈妈 你来外面做什么呢? Hello
希拉说她不明白发生了什么事 她想要你回去 Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back.
她还说... 嗯 She also says... Yes.
...她想让你在她的上面 捧着她的头发 ...she wants you on top of her
像骑一匹难驯的马那样骑着她 and riding her like a bucking bronco
她吮吸你的大拇指说着"妈妈喜欢" while she sucks your thumb and says
你告诉你的女儿... You
他说他会一直爱你 He said he'll always love you.
他很高兴你有了他的孩子 And he's so happy that you're having his child.
艾伦 Allen.
他还说 He also says that
他要你做那事的时候 he wants you to stare into each other's eyes
相互看着对方的眼睛不要眨眼 without blinking while you do it.
我爱极了我们做爱的那一刻 妈妈 这之后 I love when we do that
他说要互相口交 lick the sex off each other.
我不想干了 I don't wanna do this.
你们讲话太肉麻了 You say things that are too personal.
但这是最后一次 Okay
她说她爱你 She said she loves you
想要和你牵着手一起喝冰茶 and wants to hold your hand and have iced tea with you.
拜托 那不是她说的吧 Come on. That's not all she said.
不是 No.
她说了别的 但是我不想... 求求你说吧 She says other things
你不知道吗 明天我可能就被杀了 You don't realize
好吧 Okay.
她说她想关掉所有的钟和电话 She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones
来一次三天的做爱马拉松 这才像她说的 and have a three-day F marathon. That's more like it. Yeah.
她想一周都下不了床 因为你们做得太激烈了 She wants to walk wrong for a week because you guys F'd so hard.
太美好了 That's just lovely.
够了! 他说的话我没法说 No more! He says things I can't say.
又是仿真手 It involves a mannequin hand
又是高尔夫球棒 还绑着什么电动剃须刀 and an electric shaver taped to a golf club.
她又说了什么? Now what'd she say?
她说她爱你 She says she loves you.
这一切我深感抱歉 I'm so sorry about everything.
我今晚只是来这儿告诉你 我爱你 And I just had to come here tonight to tell you that I love you.
我把你当做一个平凡的妻子是因为 And the reason why I act like you're a plain wife is that
我怕如果我承认你是多么的漂亮 I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning
多么的聪明 多么的美妙 and intelligent and wonderful you are
我就会失去你 别说了 艾伦 我爱你 I'd just lose you. Shut up
有个很安全的地方 We have a place that's safe. All right.
我要操红你的小屁屁 I'm gonna break your hip.
轮到爷爷上阵啦 I'm about to do you grandpa-style.
早上8点36分 转账前24分钟
我带了点儿音乐来 I brought some music.
不是我原本想要的 不过就这样吧 Not what I would've chosen
好吧 出发吧"周一早晨"该工作了 All right. Let's go
出发吧 Let's do it.
你要我大门密码吗? 闭嘴! You want my gate code? Shut up
那是韦斯利! That's Wesley!
成功穿越! Yes!
你从哪儿学来这样开车的? 《侠盗车手》 Where'd you learn to drive like that? Grand Theft Auto!
靠 艾伦 他们来了 Shit
哦 天哪! 靠 Oh
做点什么吧 艾伦! 稳住 稳住 Do something
他玩了《侠盗车手》那招啊 Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto.
我成功了! I did that!
我成功了! 哦 天哪! I did that! Oh
我就说嘛! 他们翻车喽! That's what I'm talking about! We jackknifed them!
看到了吗? 它向后退然后就翻了车 Did you see that? It went backwards and then turned upside-down.
盖特把货车翻了过来 Gator turns vans upside-down
车就好像进了个超级无敌洗衣机 like they're in a crazy washing machine!
为什么你要叫自己盖特? Why are you calling yourself Gator?
那是我在大学时的昵称 用于一些约会服务 It's a nickname I had in college. I used to run a dating service.
他是个皮条客 是的 我以前是个皮条客 He was a pimp. Yeah
是我身上有味道还是车本身就一股鹿的阴道味? Is it me or does it smell like deer vagina in here?
我可怜的车啊 My poor car.
现在整个街区面临一场屠杀 Right now the streets are a bloodbath.
统计了一下 这儿有大约30名儿童 And
你们中的10个将在你们下个生日前死去 10 of you are gonna be dead before your next birthday.
记住几点 能让你们远离监狱 Got a couple of tips
第一 千万不要做黑人或是西班牙人 One
这点不错 嗯 第二... It's a good tip. Yeah. Two...
先生们 有情况 Gentlemen
霍兹和甘博挟持了厄森 开车高速飞驰在路上 Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage
好的! 枪 枪! Yes! Gun
把枪传过来 传过来 出发吧 伙计 Pass up the guns. Pass them up. Let's go
我们要走了 谁有电击枪 没有吗 There we go. Anything
很好 谁想要一起去? Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along?
我! I do!
好吧 就你了 甜心 来吧 我们出发 快 All right
快! 出发 快跑! Move! Let's go. Come on!
帅呆了 有架直升机! 肯定是用来高速追踪的 Cool
天哪! Jesus!
那些家伙是谁? 他们是车臣投资商 Who are those guys? They're Chechen investors.
我们打算做一个《探险家朵拉》的车臣版本 We were gonna do a Chechen version of Dora the Explorer.
不管怎样 现在已经一团糟了 Anyway
他们有架直升机 这事让我觉得很不公平! I feel like it's not fair that they have a helicopter!
哦 不 Oh
该死的 Damn it.
注意你的脑袋 天哪 你的头发好软 Watch your head. God
我用的VO5护发素 VO5 Hot Oil.
你这准得完蛋! 两边都有来车 You're gonna wreck! There's cars coming from both directions!
我才不要完蛋呢! I'm not gonna wreck!
我要完蛋了! 被你说中了! 要我来开么? I'm gonna wreck! You're right! You want me to drive?
这倒是个好主意 是啊 This was a very clever idea. Yeah.
他们走了 They're gone.
走吧 Let's go.
他们是尼日利亚人 是啊 我都忘了他们了 They are Nigerians. Yeah
这是条捷径 你在开玩笑吧? This is a shortcut. Are you kidding me?
你过不去的 You cannot go down there.
你在干什么? What are you doing?
撞他! Hit him!
我们在哪儿呢? 切尔西码头 Where are we? Chelsea Pier.
不是吧? What the hell?
天啊! Jesus!
他们那架直升飞机绝对是作弊 Them having a helicopter is definitely cheating.
快走! Go!
快跑! Come on!
我们是警察! 打那架直升飞机! We're cops! Hit the chopper!
我们是马丁和佛西 已在路上 This is Martin and Fosse
都退后! 这是我们的逮捕行动! Back off! This is our collar!
拉起防线 在我们赶到前不准采取逮捕行动! Set up a perimeter. No arrests until we get there!
把警灯打开! Take the light!
不要批准那项转账 Do not authorize that transfer.
这是大卫·厄森 这帐是为他转的 This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him.
他会让你不要授权的 快说 He will tell you not to authorize it
快说! 对 照他们说的做 停止转账 Tell him! Yeah
不要停 Approve it.
就现在 Now.
什么都不要动! Do not touch anything!
我对天发誓 我会打得你脑袋满桌子滚 I swear to God I'll blow your head all over this desk.
这房间里没人信你会开枪打他 Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this clerk.
是吗? Yeah?
非常感谢你们把厄森先生送过来 Thank you so much
我有两笔投资商的竞价 I have two competing bids from jilted investors.
它们值三千万美金 还未到账 They're at 30 million
等一下! 你就不能让我... 把他带走 Wait! Can't you let me... Take him away.
但是计算机 But computers.
如果有一天它们被控制了会怎么样? What if
如果你现在不闭嘴 我会用黄油刀割掉你的耳朵 Now if you don't shut up
那很钝 钝的比锋利的还糟糕 That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp.
就现在! Now!
你就站那儿别动! You just stood there!
我不明白"现在"指的是什么 我要怎么知道啊? I didn't know that"now"meant that. How am I supposed to know that?
我知道是什么意思 闭嘴 I knew what that meant. Shut up.
你杀了我们就杀了厄森 你就拿不到那三千万了 You kill us and you kill Ershon. You're out 30 million dollars.
现在是谁占上风 啊? 对啊 Who's got the golden goose now
见鬼! Shit!
他就算中了枪也还是有利用价值的 He's still valuable with a bullet wound
他马上就看穿你的把戏了 He immediately called your bluff.
起来 杀了那些警察 Get up. And kill the police.
我好像还搞不清状况 I just wanna make sure I get it right.
你是要批准转账呢还是不批准呢? Did you want this transfer approved or not approved?
你 伙计 我打算杀你练练枪 You
警察 不许动! 放下你的武器! Police
要么放下武器 要么横着出去 老弟! Drop it
我希望监狱的饭菜和男人能合你胃口 I hope you like the taste of prison food and penis.
警察! 跪地上别动! 把手举起来! Police! Down on the ground! Let me see your hands!
嘿 嘿 你还好吧? 嘿 Hey
嘿 吉恩 长官 很抱歉 Hey
抱歉 没事 别担心 I'm sorry. That's okay. Don't worry about it.
我们不在办公室的时候你可以叫我吉恩 You can call me Gene when we're not in the office.
好的 谢谢你能来 Okay. Thanks for coming by.
好小子 Attaboy.
别这样 听我说 听我说 Come on
他快不行了! 他快不行了! 他快死了! We're losing him! We're losing him! He's dying!
不不不 我只是在休息 No. No
我刚只是在休息 I'm just resting.
抱歉 我伤到你了吗? 我刚只是在休息 I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? I'm just resting.
你还好吧? 只是休息一下 Are you all right? Just resting.
嘿 告诉你件事 Hey
文案工作我们会帮忙做好的 As far as paperwork goes
你知道为什么吗? 为什么? You know why? Why?
"那是我们的荣幸" Ain't too proud to beg.
少来了 Come on.
怎么了? 不是那么好笑了 What? It's not funny anymore.
不知道你在说什么 TLC的歌名 I don't know what you're talking about. TLC references.
啥都不知道 我向你发誓 Still nothing. I swear to you.
我要去那边看看特里 I'm gonna go over and check on Terry.
我膝盖不太好 稳住 去啦 I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go.
这真是傻瓜案子之最 It was the king of the mutt cases
但是艾伦和特里却视之如宝 but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars.
24小时都在调查厄森的阴谋 Within 24 hours of learning about Ershon's scheme
和兰道公司的巨大损失 and Lendl's massive losses
政府启动问题资产救助计划出资帮助兰道 the government issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl.
兰道涉及各个领域 Lendl is in everything
我们会将产业扩展到各地... and we're gonna go everywhere...
出资巨大不容失败 They were too big to fail.
厄森现在身处佛罗里达巴洛米诺联邦教养所 Ershon now resides in Palomino Federal Correctional Facility in Florida.
他还在投资 只是货币有所不同 He still invests. Currency's just different.
罗杰·韦斯利与比曼的谋杀案有关 Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder
马丁和佛西未检查的监控录像 by security cam footage which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked.
只拍到了他们的后脑勺 It only showed the back of their heads.
但是艾伦的"人人后脑勺"程序 But Allen's Faceback app
却将他们的正脸与录像对上了 was able to get a match to their faces.
特里和弗朗辛结婚了 Terry married Francine.
他在婚礼上弹奏了竖琴 很美妙 He played harp at the reception and it was beautiful.
八年级的时候他就学会了竖琴弹奏 He had learned how to play it in the eighth grade
以嘲笑街边的卖艺女 to make fun of the fairy that lived up the street.
特里找希拉做他的伴郎 但她拒绝了 Terry asked Sheila to be his best man
坦白说 我们都希望能成为巨星或是牛人 Let's be honest
但知道吗? But guess what?
那些实实在在做事 正改变着这个世界的人们 The people that do the real work
你不会在电视或是头条上看到他们 you don't see them on TV or on the front page.
我是在说那些日复一日做事的老实人 I'm talking about the day-in
拜托 伙计 你知道我在说谁: 二流人物 Come on
看吧? 行不通的 嘿 嘿 See? That's a no-go. Hey
你们以为你们破了厄森的案子? You think you broke this Ershon case open?
你们什么都没做成 You did nothing.
当局游说者动用数百万美元 Corporate lobbyists are spending millions
以确保像厄森这样的人可以继续进行他们的勾当 to make sure guys like Ershon keep doing what they do.
德里克·杰特? Derek Jeter?
是啊 是我 你开枪打我那晚被设计了 特里 Yeah
我就说嘛! 他们知道如果安排一个像你这样 I told you! They knew by putting someone like you
一个动辄就开枪的人 with a quick trigger finger next to that door
在赛前通道 where I do my pre-game walk
一定会出事 果真我俩都倒霉了 it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us.
现在我在银行业自己做调查 Now
很接近了 我就快成功了 and I was close. I was real close.
所以我原谅你 特里 So I forgive you
谢谢 伙计 抱歉会发生这事 I appreciate that
很开心你步入正轨 I'm glad you're doing better.
整个该死的系统都被他们那些脏钱给搅了 The whole damn system is clogged up with dirty money.
新闻却只字不提 那是因为谁是这幕后主使? And the news doesn't say a word about it. 'Cause who owns them?
和政府幕后相同的人 The same corporations that own the government.
法庭和法律是我们唯一剩下的途径了 Courts and the law is all we have left.
所以呢 这是你们下一个案子 So here's you guys' next case.
一个叫卡尔·巴尚的人 奇勒斯特银行的CEO Guy by the name of Carl Bachand
他挪用了不良资产救助计划中的三十亿 He took three billion in TARP funds.
他不是好人 他就是个混蛋 He's crooked. He's real crooked.
把他拉下马 但要小心 他有黑水国际2417做靠山 Take him down
谢谢 德里克 Thanks
嘿 德里克! 等等! 如果我们想要联系你 Hey
要更多消息或是门票什么的该怎么办? get some more information or some tickets or something?
刚怎么回事啊? What just happened?
百分百植物油动力 POWEREDY BY 100% VEGETABLE OIL
戈德曼·萨克斯 这案子很难搞 Goldman Sachs. This case is gonna be nasty.
嗨 很帅气的眼镜 Hi. Cute glasses.
她说什么? 什么? What was that? What?
什么? 老兄 你和那辣妹什么关系? 你有秘密? What? Dude
老实说 我不知道你在说什么 Honestly
告诉我你把你的处子之身献给了谁 Tell me who you lost your virginity to.
她事实上成为了一名电视演员 希瑟·拉克里尔 She actually became a TV actress. Heather Locklear.
希瑟·拉克里尔 什么? Heather Locklear
你听说过她? 不是吧! You've heard of her? Come on!
她过去还要丰满 She was much chubbier back then.
我想不通 我真是想不通啊 I don't get it. I really
破烂熊字幕组 -==http://www.ragbear.com==-
是你 你没什么幽默感 That was you. You don't have a sense of humor.
我有... 我不要太有幽默感哦 I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor.
如果你说些好玩的东西 我会笑 If you say something funny
好吧 我要给你讲个很好玩的笑话 All right
来吧 我喜欢笑话 Please. I love jokes.
好的 有个小男孩过13岁生日了 All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday.
是时候破处了 有点不是时候啊 It's time to get laid. Already feels inappropriate.
于是他找到妓院里的小姐 他说"小姐" So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse
"瞧 我知道你通常要收钱 "look
"但我没钱 今天又是我的生日" "but I don't have any money and it's my birthday.
"我能给你这只鸭子然后跟你上床吗?" "Do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?"
他是个农民? 不是 Was he a farmer? No.
他可能会违反了健康法 That's probably a Health Code violation
带只鸭子上妓院 bringing a duck into a place of prostitution.
他们不是和那只鸭子上床! They weren't gonna have sex with the duck!
不 我是说带只鸭子上那种地方 No
违抗了健康法规 to have the duck brought into a facility like that.
不管怎样 她说"可以" So
所以他做了 把第一次献给了她 So he goes in there
献给她什么? He gives her what?
就是又挺又粗的那个 她爱极了 The high
她接着说"你知道吗? She goes
"如果你再做一次 我会把你的鸭子还给你" "If you do that again
所以就是免费上床两次 呃... 抱歉 It's like getting laid twice for free. So... I'm sorry.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
那只鸭子是用来付上床的钱的 是的是的 The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. Yes. Yes.
很好 他用鸭子付款 Very good. He used the duck as payment
现在他又能把鸭子要回来 and now he's being paid back the duck.
他说"哦 天哪 这是我最棒的生日了" He goes
他又做了一次 He does it again.
然后他走回家了 走走走... Now he's walking home
所以她对鸭子很满意 So she was satisfied with duck.
鸭子当做货币... 是的 With a duck as currency... Yes.
给她 很棒 很好 ...to her. Great. Good.
他走回家去 So he's walking home
现在他迫不及待想要回去告诉他爸爸 now he can't wait to get home to tell his father. Right?
他和鸭子沿着街道走 突然间 轰的一声 He's walking down the street with the duck
来了辆货车 撞倒了他的鸭子 truck comes by and runs over his duck.
把鸭子杀了? 杀了 Kills the duck? Killed the duck.
所以那只鸭子死了 它死了 So the duck is now dead. The duck is dead.
那个孩子开始哭泣 货车司机停下了 The kid starts crying
他很烦心 他不是故意的... 他当然会哭了 he's all upset
他是个13岁的孩子 才发生过两次性交 He's a 13-year-old boy who's just had sex
他看着自己挚爱的鸭子死掉 and he watched his beloved duck die.
你能闭嘴让我把故事讲完吗? Will you shut up and let me tell the story?
目前为止 我还不明白这个故事会怎么个幽默法 So far
那伙计对于弄死那只鸭子感到很抱歉 The guy feels so bad about killing the duck
他给了他两块钱 he gives him two dollars.
那孩子高兴了吗? And the kid's happy with the two bucks?
他狂喜不止! 他上床了两次 He's ecstatic! He got laid twice
现在他又得到了两块钱 and now he's got two dollars on top of it.
听上去一只鸭子远比两块钱有价值得多 Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars.
死了就不值钱了 This was a while back. You what I'm...
于是他到了家 他爸爸问"发生什么事了?" So he goes home
"告诉我! 告诉我!" "Tell me! Tell me!"
他说"爸爸 我用鸭子上了床" He goes
"我又上床拿回了鸭子" "I got a duck for the fuck
"拿回了鸭子换来了两块钱!" "and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!"
这像是打油诗 So it's like a limerick.
你觉得不好笑吗? You didn't think that was funny?
我觉得最后还是蛮娱乐大众的 确实是 I thought it was entertaining at the end
把所有的词都串在一起 the way all the words were put together
但是从内容上来说? but in terms of content?
不好笑 No.
结完账咱走人吧 Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. Let's get out of here.
别这样 你搞嘛啊 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
卡 And cut.