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Vicky just told me about this huge party tonight.
- There's a huge party tonight. - Cool, we crash it.
I heard about this party tonight.
God, did you hear Mike totally dumped Amanda?
- Chris is naked under his gown. - That was totally my idea!
There's this party. If you're not going with anyone and I'm not...
You're there, I'm there, everybody's there.
If you're not going with anyone and I'm not going with anyone...
- I got caught! - My gown smells like blue cheese.
- Whose party is it? - The girl from gym.
You joined the army? You know they shave your head?
- I just saw Chris Moore ass-naked. - You're so full of crap.
- If you're not going with... - No!
- I'm naked under my gown. - I heard that.
- That party's going to be huge. - I heard that too.
- Did you hear Mike dumped Amanda? - What did you say?
Mike Dexter broke up with Amanda Beckett.
This is so perfect. Amanda Beckett is single.
And I'm attending the party that she's attending.
lt's like it's fate.
- I thought we weren't even going. - For $5 you can keep your tassel.
Yeah, then I can press it in between my yearbook with my prom corsage.
- What? - Why have you changed your plans?
Amanda and I have to finish what we started four years ago.
You're afraid to move forward. Preston, we're so out of here.
Why do you want to go to this party and look back? Don't look back.
I actually graduated!
Unless you're that guy.
Amanda and I are connected. We have been since she came.
- God, here we go. - Freshman year. l'd missed the bus.
If I had arrived on time, I never would have seen her.
But now I was the first person at school to set eyes on Amanda.
lt was her first day of school.
Then I'm sitting in class enjoying a light breakfast.
And out of all the classrooms in the school, she walks into mine.
And where does the teacher sit her? Right next to me.
Up until now, one could write this off to coincidence.
But then she reached into her bag -
- and pulled put a Pop-Tart. The same pastry I was consuming.
- What was I to do? - Who'll show Amanda the school?
- I will. - Mike Dexter.
That's where I lost her. I had a clear shot and I hesitated.
But fate's given me a second chance.
Have fun tonight and tell everyone how much I'll miss them.
- You're not going to go? - Why would I go?
What else are you going to do?
- I can't believe I'm going. - I can't believe they broke up.
I can't believe you broke up with her.
Well, it's like I always say...
- But Amanda's so hot, man. - I guess. For a high school girl.
Guys, we'll be in college soon. You know who'll be in college?
- Girls who were in high school. - No, college women.
Women with no curfew, women on the pill...
We're staring into the future. And the future... is women.
Women.
Should we break up with our girlfriends too?
That would be sweet. We'd have the whole summer to get chicks -
- without our girlfriends around.
- They suck! - You're right, Dex.
- Beth, kiss my ass. - Yes, baby!
- This is a brilliant idea. - Mike Dexter's a god. A role model.
Mike Dexter is an asshole.
For the past decade he has made a hobby of my pain. Exhibit A:
My science project. A working rainforest Mike threw out a window.
lt rains here no more. Exhibit B:
An eyepatch I wore for a month after Mike beaned me with a raisin.
I went to a 3-D film festival. I saw no third dimension.
And how can I forget the pudding incident? No one else has.
Tonight Mike Dexter will know humiliation and ridicule.
Tonight is the night we fight back. Tonight is our independence night.
Hello? Get this off your head!
Let's go over the plan again.
We will set up behind the pool house. Right there.
This is me. You are Grand Moff Tarking and you are Boba Fett.
- How come he gets to be Boba Fett? - Fine, you're Boba, you're Tarkin.
- I don't want to be... - Fine, you're both Kiss dolls.
You set up here. I will lead Mike and one of his random jock friends -
- to here and here, where you two will be waiting.
You jump down, rendering them unconscious with the chloroform.
Then we strip them and take pictures of them in a lurid, naked embrace.
- Will there be any girls there? - People may even be having sex!
l've got to have sex tonight!
lt says here that 92% of honeys at U.C.L.A. are sexually active.
92% of the women there are walking around saying: "Class or sex?"
You know what that means? l've got a 92% chance of embarrassing myself.
I say, "What's up?"
She'll say, "You don't know 20 ways to make me call you Big Poppa."
Rest in peace.
- Who'll be the lucky honey? - I ain't decided yet.
All the bitches are going. They'll all get a chance to have Special K.
l've narrowed the list down to 10 very lucky finalists.
- What's up, man? - Check this out.
- The love kit. - Damn, our boy is a fag!
That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle.
You think you'll hit this party with this and some girl will give it up?
Watch me, G.
Wait.
- I have the letter. - You're not going to give her that.
Why wouldn't l?
You haven't revised it for the four billionth time.
"Dear Amanda. Now that you're finally single -
- I can give you this sappy letter -
- that I never had the guts to give you during these past four years."
- Listen to this. - This is Barry Manilow.
- I know. - Why are we listening to him?
Listen to the words.
"Mandy" is short for Amanda.
That's my sign!
I hate to interrupt this alternate universe you've wandered into.
- But that song's about his dog. - lt's about a woman named Amanda.
- Who names their dog "Amanda"? - My cousin named hers "Samantha".
Shut up about the dog.
That's my sign. Consider me ready.
Come on in. Susan, you look so cute.
The drinks are in the back. Preston, you brought... a friend.
No, it's okay. Come on in.
Preston, not one step further until you sign my yearbook.
- I want all 522 seniors to sign. - How ambitious of you.
You won't get away without signing. I saved a space for you in the back.
- Why isn't your portrait in it? - To avoid moments like this one.
Thanks. Go, Huntington!
Wait! I almost fell out of my dress.
Let's go. Time is honey.
Cool, a key party.
Thank you for coming. Kenny... Come on in.
No one can go in the fancy room. My parents will be home on Sunday.
Kenny, sign my yearbook. Come on. Where's your school spirit?
Bitch, get a life!
Shorties gonna be lining up to get with me. Time to get busy.
- ls he gonna hizzit the skizzins? - That boy ain't got no skills.
- Coming through. - White boy, you'd better beware!
This is our first show. Don't screw it up.
I heard Carol invited her cousin.
His brother's room-mate knows a guy who knows a scout in L.A.
- Shut up! - Lucky we had these T-shirts made.
We're going to rendezvous here at 0030 hours, all right?
There's going to be drinking in there.
They'll kick you out if you don't drink.
- I will be drinking. - You could get addicted.
No, I downloaded this off the Net.
I'll know how much I can imbibe without affecting my behaviour.
You've got every angle covered.
From this light you somewhat resemble David Duchovny.
William, trust no one.
"I am a sex machine."
- "Sex machine." - Make him say something else.
Would you like to touch my penis?
"Would you like to touch my..."
Huntington Hills High, kiss my ass!
You must sign my yearbook. "Which team has the winning play?"
There they are.
- I missed you so much. - I haven't seen you in six hours!
How are you doing, girls? Dudes, remember the game plan.
What game plan? Right, exactly.
Look, Beth, we need to talk. We all need to talk. Right, guys?
I can't believe she came.
There she is.
You made a real connection there.
- Hi, guys. - Are you okay?
Mike.
- Now look what you've done. - She looks destroyed.
Suicidal!
All right!
Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train".
- You have to rag on everybody? - His wardrobe invites mockery.
- I never slept over at his house. - That was in the 4th grade.
- Where did she go? - There.
- God! Don't point at her! - Are you hyperventilating?
No, I'm centering myself. I'm harnessing my Chi. Don't laugh.
- Were you weird when we went out? - Were you bitchy when we went out?
Yes, I was a bitchy 8th-grader for that whole week.
I'm going to do it right now.
- Are you going to be okay? - I'll get a ride home with someone.
Go.
Seriously, I'm over it. What?
Nothing. lt's just... He is the most dope guy in school.
Yeah, and school's over.
Who does he think he is? Brad Pitt?
- And you're, like, Gwyneth. - He regrets breaking up with her.
- That's really sweet... - We mean it. You're so Gwyneth.
- Totally prettier. - But with bigger boobs.
- I'll go out and get some air. - But he's no Brad.
Not even Brad in "1 2 Monkeys" where he was all dirty.
Mike doesn't even deserve to breathe the same air as Brad.
Mike Dexter is an asshole!
I don't really want to talk about it.
- She's not prettier than Gwyneth. - Not even!
This is it. lt's finally time for Kenny Fisher to become the man.
All ten finalists are present and accounted for.
Ten lovely ladies at my disposal.
Ten willing-and-able tour guides enter the theme park of love.
But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten will be the lucky one?
Corinne, what's up?
Which of you gorgeous nine will be the lucky one?
Sorry, my fault. My fault, sorry.
Excuse me. ls this the... beer?
What the hell does it look like, ass-wipe?
- Do you want one? - Yes, of course.
Terrible! Nobody drink the beer! The beer has gone bad.
- Tastes like beer to me. - Mine's great.
- Ashley, you look beautiful. - Thanks.
I was reminiscing today, thinking about 7th grade -
- when we played Spin the Bottle at Lynn's house. Remember?
We never did get that kiss. But you stared at me all night, giggling.
- Remember that? - Yes, you were eating Cheetos.
And they stuck to your braces, but you just kept on eating them.
Lynn and I thought that was so funny. Lynn!
I'm telling little Kenny how we used to call him Chester Cheetah.
- What are you laughing at? - Cheetah.
Bye, Chester.
- Use me for my body, baby. - Give me some love.
What's up, ladies? Jana, you want to dance?
- I'm allergic. - Allergic to dancing?
- Hey, I want you to have this. - Thank you.
He broke up a year ago. She's been paying him to act like he's her guy.
- Pathetic. - lt's so pathetic.
Preston Meyers, dude. What's going on?
I know you're leaving tomorrow and I'm going to miss you, man.
I remember in the 7th grade when we mashed our food on our trays -
- and you paid me $ 1 to eat it. And I did. That was the best!
And in softball practice where the ball hit you right in your nuts!
That was the funniest, man.
Remember at the meat packing plant when you threw up in your book bag?
That wasn't me.
You tried to hide the bag on the bus.
But the vice principal took it round to all the classes and I said:
"Wasn't that your bag? I think it is, dude..."
Amanda, are you okay? I just heard you broke up.
I can't believe you didn't tell me. After all, we are family.
- Second cousins. - We should talk about these things.
"You'll never get the smell out..."
Remember when I was about to talk to that beautiful girl -
- and you started telling me all these asinine stories?
That's funny. lt just happened!
I'll never forget this. See if I contact you for the reunion!
lt's all about the memories, man.
Who wants to go in the hot tub with us?
- What's up? - Aren't you getting your freak on?
I'm flossing while those two ho's argue about who gets to have me.
- What two ho's? - Are you calling me a liar?
- Why you shoving, cracker? - You'd better recognize, fool.
Why you all got to waste my flavour? Damn!
Can I talk to you for a second?
- What's up? - Did you do it?
- Come on. - I don't know, man.
Rachel's parents are away. She wants me to spend the night.
But you promised.
Rachel's parents have mirrors.
Above the bed. I'm going to be like this, look.
I get the picture. Maybe the other guys have got some balls.
- Weren't you in my language lab? - Yes, I was.
I told you guys she went to our school.
Anyone order a LoveBürger? Well done!
- What is that? - I'm wearing it for publicity.
- Those are for the fans. - lt's cool.
- Don't throw him one! - Maybe I should wear the hat.
What the hell is that? Take off the hat.
Take it off.
You look like The White Artist Formerly Known As Prince!
Oh my God! I said no smoking in the house!
ls that poop? Does someone have poop on their shoe?
My God! Does someone have poop on their shoe on my floor?
And then I heard that he slept with some sophomore.
- That pig. What will you do? - Beat him at his own game.
I'm going to hook up with someone tonight and hope Jason finds out.
- Wait, with who? - The next guy who hits on me.
No, the next guy who talks to me.
I must have died and gone to heaven. I see an angel right in front of me.
Are you crying? No, baby. You are far too fine to look so sad.
- Sure... - lt breaks my heart to see you sad.
How can I make you feel better?
Come to the pool house with me.
Of course I will. Anything for you, baby.
Could you just wait right here? I'll be right back.
He'll do.
Bathroom. Pee, underarm check... Do I put on the Jimmy Hat now?
No, that won't work.
Damn!
Yo, they're out of toilet paper.
Wait for us.
Let's pee in the pool.
What the hell is this?
- ls there a bathroom upstairs? - No one's allowed upstairs.
- Who did this? - That foreign guy has a black pen.
That little foreign dick. Okay, you can go upstairs.
But just you.
Don't close the door all the way because it's broken.
Damn, you're the man, Kenny!
Here we go.
This won't... Yeah, I can do...
She's gonna think l've got premature evacuation!
Dude! These brownies suck.
I don't want to waste this.
Better double-bag it. I don't know where she's been.
- Shut that door! No, get out! - I'm trying to.
Move, woman!
No!
That patch of sky over above those power lines -
- is like a superhighway of UFO activity.
I wonder how William's doing?
I hope he isn't having trouble blending in.
lsn't there something I was supposed to do tonight?
I can't feel my legs. I have no legs!
Can I talk to you for a second?
- Did you do it, or what? - We will. I promise.
But her dad got us tickets to see Pearl Jam. We'll do it afterwards.
- I thought Beth can kiss your ass. - We don't always mean what we say.
- When's the concert? - August.
You guys suck.
- But they're really good seats. - We'll deal with it eventually.
- I never saw you two together. - Yeah, you and me both.
I know why I started dating him, but not why I did it for so long.
At first it was all so unbelievable.
At my old high school I was always just this little nobody.
Then I came to Huntington and Mike Dexter wanted to date me.
All of a sudden I was popular.
I know it sounds lame but it felt good.
For the first time I felt cool. He was my first boyfriend.
- I don't understand. What happened? - Nothing. That's the problem.
Mike is still the same guy. Mooning guys, giving guys wedgies.
l've heard he does that. Why didn't you break up with him?
Because I was... scared of being alone.
Mike and I went out for four years. Forever!
If I'm not his girlfriend, who am l? Nobody knows me as anything else.
I don't know me as anything else.
Look, I don't know about you...
... but I really believe there's one person out there for everybody.
That's what this is about.
lt's not just a sappy letter telling her how she makes my heart stop.
lt's in there, but...
I'm not just telling her how she's more than just Mike's girlfriend.
There's this really amazing person inside that no one bothers to see.
lt's in there too, but...
What it's really about is how she should just give me a chance.
Just one chance.
Maybe we could find out if there's a reason for all of this.
Why she's not with Mike, and after four years I still have the letter.
Maybe we could find out what that reason is.
You know? lt's time to find out.
I think I'm ready to do this. Finally.
Any words of encouragement?
Would you like to touch my penis?
I am a sex machine. Sex machine.
No one can hear us.
- Satisfied? - lt's your fault. You barged in.
If l'd known you were in here half-naked, pleasuring yourself...
- Then I would have gone elsewhere. - I was getting my shit ready.
There's a supermad honey down there just dying to have sex with me.
I never should have believed those rumours. Let's never fight again.
Carl, have you seen Amanda Beckett?
Yes. Did you hear they broke up? I'm going to ask her out, boy!
lt's time to get freaky!
Thanks for listening. God, the prom queen is looking for sympathy!
- I should just shut up. - No, you need someone to listen.
Amanda, I feel really close to you now.
- What are you doing? Get off! - Come on.
- That is disgusting. - You were begging for it.
You're my cousin. You're sick!
Shit, don't tell my parents!
See the salt on this pretzel? Look at the stars.
Some people say the stars are billions of tons of hot gas.
But maybe it's just God's salt. And God's just waiting to eat us.
- Have I got some news for you. - What's that?
- I recently became single. - And?
I remember Jeff saying you thought I was the hottest senior in school.
And I remember Jeff saying you thought we were skanky.
He told you that?
See you later.
Aren't you meeting your girlfriend from the lnternet this weekend?
Yes, but she's got some photo-shoot in Fiji for a catalogue.
That sucks.
That's the price you pay for dating Christy Turlington.
This song goes out to Hope from Ken. lt's about love.
Love hurts...
I knew somebody threw it out! You don't throw away a yearbook.
You cherish it forever. Thank God! Look at you.
Trisha, sign my yearbook!
- I stepped in gum. - Come on, we're late.
Yuck!
- Does that feel good? - Why are you such a raging bitch?
Look in the mirror. You're white!
What's that supposed to mean?
I don't always talk like that. What about you?
Miss Antisocial. Miss "I Think I'm So Much Better Than Everybody Else."
I don't think I'm better than anybody.
What do you care? You haven't spoken to me since 6th grade.
You stopped speaking to me. Damn, you got...
You have no idea of what you're talking about. You don't know me.
I know exactly who you are.
You're Kenny Fisher, who... We played Miami Vice in my basement.
We had to leave the light on when you slept over.
You always bought me a card for Valentine's Day -
- and a bag of those little hearts with words on them.
You got too cool to hang out with me because I was in the smart classes.
My parents weren't rich and you needed to sit at the trendy table.
What the hell happened?
She's supposed to be with me.
There was even that song on the radio. Wasn't that a sign?
Unless that song was about a dog.
So should I go out and buy a dog? No, it had to be a sign.
You don't hear "Mandy" every day. I haven't heard it in ten years.
Today is Barry Manilow's birthday, so we'll play "Mandy" every hour.
Thank you very much!
Manilow will answer your questions live from his concert in Tokyo.
So if you've got a question, call in now.
Excuse me.
Are you going to be long? I just need to make one call.
- There's two other phones. - They're broken.
lt's an emergency. My car broke down and...
Hello. I have a really important question for Barry Manilow.
ln that song "Mandy"... Hello?
Why did you do that? Wait a second!
I was talking to somebody!
- You don't just hang up. - I need a cab, please.
I'm at Johnny's, on the boulevard. I'm an angel.
- I'm done now. - You don't just hang up on people!
I think my emergency was just a little bit larger than yours.
How the hell do you know? You have no idea how long...
This is great! This is officially the worst night of my life. Thanks!
Try having 40 drunk men grabbing your ass, -
- one groom-to-be throwing up on you, and your car breaking down.
Then you can talk to me about having a bad night.
You're a stripper? An angel stripper.
I'm the weirdo? You called Barry Manilow from a phone booth!
You're right. I'm a total loser.
No, I'm sorry... Great. Like I could feel any worse.
That's the most disgusting thing l've seen. What's wrong with you?
Hi. Do you know Preston Myers?
He sat right next to you in English.
But why would Amanda Beckett pay any attention to a unique spirit -
- like Preston, or even like me?
Maybe she's too busy ordering around her little flock of sheep.
Sheep! You are all sheep.
- Luke doesn't push Vader. - The guy cut his hand off!
- Those were our only flashlights. - Oh, yeah.
- Jeez. lt's kind of dark up here. - Yeah.
This is just like that Scott Baio thing.
- At 16 I had a thing for him. - You don't have to sit here...
- Scott Baio? - I was 16! I watched Happy Days.
Not to mention Joanie Loves Chachi. God, I hated Joanie.
I knew I would meet him if I wanted it bad enough.
And I did. When he starred in Charles ln Charge, he did a tour.
And he came here to our mall. Finally, everything fell into place.
- Like it was... - Fate.
So I went.
And I had this red bandanna. Chachi always wore a red bandanna.
And I waited there outside.
And I was the first person when he pulled up. He got out...
He was so beautiful. And he looked right at me.
I couldn't say anything or even move.
And he was right there! I still have that red bandanna.
But the thing is, you never know. Had I at least said something...
But I totally realized, you know? Fate. There is fate.
But it only takes you so far, and then you must make it happen.
- You are so definitely right. - I know.
Don't make the same mistake. If you want to be with him, -
- get back on that phone and tell Barry Manilow how you feel.
- No! I didn't want him. - I don't think it's weird.
I mean, come on. Scott Baio. We all have our things.
You no-talent little Smurf.
Your girlfriend didn't think so last night in your van.
You guys are such amateurs. I quit.
- Way to go. Take off that T-shirt. - lt's your stupid hat's fault!
This hat is not stupid. lt's cool.
- Way to go, man. - What did I do?
I'll be the band, dudes.
I know this song!
A guy I tutored in math used to make me listen to it.
Wild Bill Rock And Roll!
- He's so cute. - I know.
Sign my yearbook.
You know what? My retainer looks like a Klingon warship.
Fire photons!
This is the greatest night of my life!
Get up. l've got to pee.
- You're not peeing in here. - lt's a bathroom!
- Move! I'm going to go. - God, you are disgusting.
I cannot listen to this.
So were you saving up all that stuff to tell me?
Do you want to talk about this while you're doing that?
If it's been on your mind for six years, you might have mentioned it.
When you were ignoring me at school?
When you were writing "Denise is a tampon" on my locker?
I didn't write that.
And you didn't destroy my Cabbage Patch Kid in 2nd grade?
2nd grade ..? Besides, I admitted that right away.
No, when I picked her up, her head fell off. You started to cry.
- lt kind of tipped me off. - I did not cry... much.
I told John to write "Denise is a tampon." I felt bad afterwards.
lt's all right. I told Diana Yellin that you were a dendrophiliac.
- What is that? - Someone who has sex with trees.
That's not funny.
- He let me hold his laser pointer. - Ladies, please.
Both of you can hold my laser pointer any time.
Did they just go in the make-out room with William Lichter?
They're so lucky.
Hey. Do you want a beer?
Trip McNeely! No way, man.
Trip McNeely.
You were a sexual icon. Girls at Huntington still talk about you.
- Really? Which ones? - You must be racking up at college.
- I can't get digits as a freshman. - Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
Seriously. I thought college was gonna be a 2 4-7 orgy.
That's why I broke up with Janine before I left.
- So what happened? - College chicks are different.
They're all serious and shit.
They all talk about world issues and economological crap.
They all want to date older guys.
- Not all of them, right? - Yes. I tried to get Janine back.
She was all cozy with some senior. He's a pre-med.
They all are. Guys like us are a dime a dozen.
Are you still with Amanda? She was a prize piece.
Yeah! Me and Amanda. Definitely.
You're lucky, bro. Stay with her.
lt's the best advice I can give you.
That and... Bring flip-flops to the shower. I got warts all over.
Take it easy, Trip. Trip McNeely!
Amanda?
- Have you seen Amanda Beckett? - No.
Preston? I don't know .. His hair's kind of... I don't know.
- Brown. - Not really brown. He's tall.
He's kind of tall. And he's, like, always wearing T-shirts.
Sometimes.
So he's sort of tall.
With hair, and he wears T-shirts sometimes.
- Yes. - That's it?
I mean, he's Preston. You know?
Preston. I like that guy.
You know who else I like? Velma from Scooby Doo.
- She was also a hip lady. - Hip chick.
Amanda!
Amanda.
- Mike, get off. - Can't I hug my girl?
I am not your girl and you're obviously drunk.
No, wait.
We need to talk about us.
- There is no "us". - There is, see. Because...
l've been doing a lot of thinking and I think... What do I think?
I think...
- We should get back together. - Why?
- What? - Give me one good reason why...
No, screw that. No, my answer is no.
No?
You mean you don't want me to take you back?
I'm serious about this. You should really think about this.
Think about what? That you're a childish, self-centred asshole?
Take me back? Please!
You're drunk and we're over. Save yourself the embarrassment.
Well, you're the one who's gonna be embarrassed.
Who's gonna want you now?
Somebody.
Somebody... More like nobody.
Gosh. Mike, you really got me there.
Fag!
Shut up!
I'll kick everyone's ass in this room!
Amanda. Now that Mike is completely out of the picture, -
- maybe you should come to my van. I could turn that frown upside down.
Amanda, I just saw what happened.
My God, you're a hotty. Can I see you naked?
Remember when we danced at the soph-hop? I had this huge boner, -
- and I thought maybe we could work things out.
Amanda, do you want some watermelon?
Amanda, I love you.
This sounds strange. But there's always been a connection between us.
Ever since I saw you holding my favourite Pop-Tart.
- I'm leaving tomorrow. Let's go... - That is enough!
I haven't even been single for five minutes -
- and already you think I'm going to strip and do you right here -
- because you imagine that we shared an intimate moment -
- that you've been drooling over for four years. How sick are you?
Why don't you just go off and get yourself a goddamn life!
Thanks, man. That was the funniest thing l've seen all night.
Man. I hope the guys are okay.
- Don't stick that probe there! - Daddy!
Mike, buddy!
You have to come outside with me.
There's this chick out there... Two chicks. They're triplets, man.
You won't believe what they're doing. lt is so unbelievable.
Come out to the pool house with me. They want you to watch them.
Let's go to the pool house. Come on.
I'm a loser. I broke up with the hottest girl in school.
My friends all sold me out, and someone in there called me a fag.
- You loved the New Kids. - And acid-washed jeans.
- You're a true fashion victim. - Thanks. l've gotten better.
- There's room for five in there. - Shut up. These are cool.
- All right. But the goggles... - Everybody's wearing these.
- All right, my turn. The shoes! - What is wrong with my shoes?
- Are they orthopaedic? - No.
What about your shoes? ls there a mission to the moon later?
- Your feet smell. - They do not.
Amanda. You still didn't sign my yearbook.
I'm trying to get everyone to sign by their own picture.
What is wrong with everybody? These are memories frozen in time!
Who needs her? You know what they say about women and trolley cars.
- There's plenty of them in the sea. - You are correct.
You're 1 1 0% right.
Let me ask you something.
Remember the time you had to make that really stupid speech -
- and I tripped you and everybody started laughing at you in school?
Yeah.
- I'm sorry. - Don't worry about it.
- lt's ancient history. - lt's ancient history.
- When was that anyway? - This morning at graduation.
Can I get a shirt? You know, for nostalgia.
What about a reunion? A few new songs. Mostly old stuff.
- I could be into that. - Sure, why not?
I love you, man.
- How's my boys? - What's up with my niggers?
- Cold floor. - I'm sorry.
- Have you ever done this before? - Yeah.
- No. Have you? - Yes, once. With this guy...
- I don't want to know. - You're right. Sorry.
- Are they gone? - I think so.
If they were still here, l'd break them off like Kato!
This is it.
Everybody freeze!
Cops!
Bill, you never signed my yearbook.
We can hide in the pool house.
Viva la pool house! The pool house... Mike!
Back here, Billy.
Mike, wait.
lt worked. Take off their clothes.
Get the Polaroid!
Look at you, Mister "I'm A Big Football Jock."
How do you like me now, buddy?
- Look, my flashlight. - Oh no, it's William.
Let's get out of here!
Jesus cribs! Let's load these sickos into the wagon.
Well...
So...
You know...
lt gets better.
Next time you won't be... lt can go for longer.
That's not what I meant. But since we've never done it before...
- Together... - lt might be your fault.
You've only done it one time before. Does that make you an expert?
- I never said I was an expert. - I could be fine with someone else.
What?
lt ain't your fault you lack the flavour.
You asshole!
Who the hell is in here? This is my house!
You should fix that door... Don't touch me. You make me sick.
- Get out! - I'm trying to.
- Let me help you. Get out! - What is your problem?
I'll tell you what my problem is!
- Are you gonna walk home? - lt's not that far.
Just stop, okay? Just slow down.
- I want to explain. - Don't bother.
Look...
I'm sorry.
You know?
I shouldn't have said, you know.
I'm sorry too.
- So... - So...
William. Let's go. Your parents are here to take you home.
Oh God.
My parents! Are they really angry?
- Does my father have a weapon? - I'm afraid not.
They're more worried about you. Because it's not your fault that -
- "Mike Dexter beat you up and forced you to drink and pass out."
- What? - That's what the Dexter kid said.
He made you drink, took your clothes off...
lt's just funny that he finally came clean.
Mike, always picking on me. Oh God!
Well, whatever.
Lay off that alcohol. Your life's gonna go right down the crapper.
Unless that's what you're going for?
- No. Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Thank you. - Easy now.
To your right.
Get out. Are you kidding me?
Kenny Fisher?
- Are you a couple now? - No! I don't know.
- Can I come to your wedding? - I should have kept it quiet.
Off of me, on to you. Did you finally... Amanda?
You did? And?
lt's okay. I'm okay. You know?
We weren't meant to be. lt's over. lt's done.
I don't know. Maybe there isn't such a thing as fate.
Maybe it's all bullshit. I just feel like...
Maybe it was a hero's trial.
Something to make me come out a better person.
I'm trying to make the best of it.
lt would have been cool to make out with her.
Would you make out with me?
- Call me when you get there. - Definitely.
Take care. Give me a hug.
Take care of yourself.
Pres, just so you know...
Judging from last night, I do think there's such a thing as fate.
It just works in really fucked-up ways sometimes.
Especially in your case. Sorry. You gave it to me, I had to take it.
Peace out, G.
- A yearbook is valuable. - Memories are all we have.
All I know is tonight I'll be at some bar with chicks all over me.
And you are going to be at home with your lame-ass girlfriends.
- Maybe we should break up. - That's what I'm saying.
I never got a chance to thank you for covering for me last night.
Thanks for lying to the cops. I won't drink like that for a while.
- Who said you could sit with us? - Go and play with your computer.
Yeah, why don't you go home and watch Star Trek, Urkel?
You want some of this?
The Boston Bullet now boarding at track 28.
Excuse me. I think you dropped this.
- What are you doing here? - Your dad told me you'd be here.
- That's my letter. - I thought it was my letter.
Of course it is, I just... Did you read it?
Yeah.
I don't know what I put in it because I wrote it so many times...
Thank you.
Thank you... I mean, you're welcome.
So, you're leaving now?
- Yeah. lt's just... - Really bad timing?
Yeah.
l've got this workshop with Kurt Vonnegut.
- He's my hero. - That's great. Congratulations.
Thanks.
You should probably go, then. Maybe it's better this way.
Maybe I should just be single for a while or something.
- Sure. - Maybe it did happen for a reason.
I said that, didn't I?
Preston, good luck.
Yeah, you too.
I'll see you.
You know, there's probably a later train I could take.
- I can't believe we jumped William. - And we didn't join the party.
- It probably sucked anyway. - Those people are totally boring.
- This town is so lame. - Tell me about it.
Nothing exciting ever happens here.
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