[ Music ]
[ Siren blaring ]
[ Music ]
>> Okay.
Dr. pullen?
[ Music ]
>> Dr. pullen?
>> They are taking Mrs. petrakis
into surgery.
[ Music ]
>> Has she been prepped yet?
>> No, she hasn't.
>> Okay.
>> And go!
[ Footsteps ]
>> Did you call Dr. sherman?
>> He's on his way.
>> Great.
>> Wait!
Wait!
Race ya.
>> Do you come here often?
>> Am I going to die?
>> Are you kidding?
Nobody is going to die,
Mrs. petrakis, I'm going to
clean all of the baklava out
of your arteries.
This is the late show.
I do my best work.
[ Machine beeping ]
>> Anesthetic, please.
Mrs. petrakis, I would like you
to click your heels together
three times.
And when you wake up, you'll be
back in your own room in Kansas.
>> Kansas?
[ Symphony music ]
>> Sponge.
So Carol, how was your date with
big foot last night?
>> He paid for the movie, but I
had to pay for dinner.
>> I think you are with the
wrong guy.
Retraction here.
>> Let me get a retraction.
>> I can't get this . . .
>> She is hemorrhaging, clamp.
I thought that was going to
happen.
Suture.
[ Music ]
>> I can't stop this bleeding.
I should be better at this, my
grandfather was a Taylor.
[ Chuckling ]
>> Make a 6-0 would work.
>> Would use a staple gun if I
could.
Clamp.
Getting an irregular heart rate,
fibrillation.
>> Heart rate is morning,
doctor.
>> Breathing is labored.
Clamp.
>> Respiration is normal,
doctor.
>> God, this hurts.
>> Abbie, she is under.
>> Loss of feeling in the left
arm.
>> Carol don't go to the
Bahamas.
Clamp please.
Bleeding is controlled.
[ Labored breathing ]
>> Dr. sherman, would you be so
kind?
>> Abbie, what is going on?
>> I'm having a heart attack.
>> Dr. pullen!
>> Get me do icu immediately!
>> I'll need a blanket and a
pillow.
>> I'm going to need oxygen of 4
liters.
How is the patient?
>> No problem here.
>> Check my pulse, please.
>> 98 and slightly irregular.
>> That's not too bad, abbie.
>> Yeah, for a duck.
Scottie give me an iv, and
Lidocaine with a push.
Hi, boys.
>> One, two, three.
[ Labored breathing ]
>> I'm going to buy you all
somebody big.
[ Machine beeping ]
>> Don't fight it, abbie.
>> I'm afraid to go to sleep.
>> I'll get a hammer.
[ Symphony music ]
>> Dad, I'm afraid to go to
sleep!
[ Clock ticking ]
[ Dog barking ]
[ Footsteps ]
>> Why are you afraid to go to
sleep?
>> What if I never wake up?
>> Then there will be more for
me for breakfast.
>> Daddy, read to me.
The dreams book.
>> When you can read, you read
the dreams book.
>> But it's my favorite.
>> All right.
But I want you to know, it's not
my favorite.
>> Okay.
The dreams book.
Sweet dreams to my fingers,
sweet dreams to my knees, sweet
dreams to belly buttons to go in
and out.
Sweet dreams to all of the
waitresses in the world, the big
ones too, like the waitress at
the bowling alley.
>> That's not the way it goes.
>> Hey, this is kid's stuff.
You want to hear something that
you can put your teeth into?
Inherit the wind?
>> Oh, no, not again.
>> It's the loneliest feeling in
the world to find yourself
standing up when everybody else
is sitting down.
To have everyone look at you and
say, what's the matter with him
>> that very good, dad.
>> You and me, kido.
I know what it feels like to
walk down an empty street, to
hear the sound of your own
footsteps, shutters closed,
blinds drawn, doors closed
against you.
>> I'm asleep, daddy, really.
>> And you don't know whether
you are walking towards
something or just walking away.
[ Machine beeping ]
>> It's very important that she
doesn't miss her physical
therapy sessions.
>> Si.
Si.
[ Speaking Spanish ]
>> Good-bye, matilda.
I checked you out.
How are you doing?
Abbie?
>> I can hear.
I can hear.
>> Very funny.
You are funny.
Funny guy.
>> Come on, let's get out of
here.
>> What are you doing?
[ Traffic noises. ]
>> Thank God I'm out of here.
I have such weird dreams here.
>> Let's get a cab.
>> No, I really want to walk.
You're going to like it.
I'm going to lean on you, and
you lean on me.
Is this good for you?
>> This is great.
>> Look, we're a semicolon
walking home.
[ Laughter ]
>> I have to have my presso.
>> Salt.
>> Oh, thank you.
Salt now.
I was not ready for this.
>> Who is?
>> I'm heart surgeon, for
Christ's sakes.
I should have seen it coming.
>> Even the Indians warned
custer, don't come over here,
we're a little cranky.
>> Look, you had plenty of
warning.
You work like a maniac, you
don't sleep.
You were so busy being the
doctor, the patient almost died.
You are lucky this time.
>> Why can't you be more
straight with me?
[ Sighs ]
>> What are you so pissed off
about?
>> I don't want to lose you.
[ Horn honking ]
>> You were so cute.
[ Laughter ]
>> Nice hands, doctor.
>> I still wear that outfit.
Look another me.
Look at me.
>> This is great.
>> I couldn't catch a ball.
[ Laughter ]
>> It's hard to catch with your
face.
[ Laughter ]
>> I had the word spalding
written on my forehead until I
was about six.
[ Laughter ]
>> Oh, my God.
>> Now I see why you always lock
the door.
Who took these.
>> My father.
>> Your mother is embarrassed
too.
How old were you when they broke
up?
>> Seven.
My favorite toy was a suitcase.
>> Mine was my father's
stethoscope.
Speaking of which . . . It's
still ticking!
>> I didn't even realize this
was on here.
>> What is this?
>> This is music night.
You don't want to see this --
>> wait.
Wait.
No, no, abbie.
Wait.
Are you wearing a tuxedo.
>> Yes.
>> You look like the world's
smallest maitre d'.
>> He made me wear that.
He wanted me to be a brand
leader like Tracy Dean.
He said, kid, you wear a black
tuxedo, white carnation, you can
fuck Betty grable.
[ Laughter ]
>> I wish you would play for me.
>> I can't.
And that's another reason.
You want some tea?
>> You know you never talk about
your father.
When did he die?
>> He's not dead.
>> What -- he -- he's alive?
Your father is alive.
>> Yes, I haven't checked
lately, but he is alive.
>> You told me he was dead?
Oh, come on, abbie, every time I
would ask you about him
you -- you -- you shrug.
I assume that meant --
>> you take my shrugs too
seriously.
>> Come on, really?
He is alive?
Where did he live?
>> He is in Los Angeles.
>> What does he do?
>> He's a professional
embarrassment.
>> How come you never talk about
him?
>> There's nothing to say.
>> Oh, well, hello, welcome
home, Lisa, the turtle is back
in his shell.
>> Some things are personal.
>> Personal?
Personal?
Wait a minute fore three years I
assume your father is dead, now
I find that personal.
Abbie, this is scaring me.
What else have you not told me?
>> I'm a transvestite on the
weekends.
>> I knew that.
No, I mean it.
Answer the question.
>> Let's save this for a rainy
day, okay.
My heart has done the mambo, and
it's not on my list of things to
do, okay?
>> Forget the list.
You know I spend a lot of time
wondering where I fit in on that
list.
>> Right near the top.
>> Umm.
You know why we broke up?
Because you are always hiding
from me.
Hello?
We can have a great time
together, abbie.
Why don't you join me?
[ Sighs ]
>> You know, I have this
patient, a boy, he's 12.
He's terminal, and he tells me
something new every day.
He tells me everything.
>> He is a kid and he is scared.
>> You want a mirror?
So what did your father do?
Did he beat you?
>> You know what it is like to
go to a father and son dinner
with my mother.
With Sylvia pullen in a fox
stole?
She brought cake.
>> How come you dream about him?
>> I don't know.
It was a fluke.
It must have been the iv.
>> Have you ever thought that
maybe you love him?
>> No.
>> No?
[ Sighs ]
>> You are a tough piece.
>> I mean, you are great in bed,
but then you don't know how to
hold my hand.
>> Did you come back because I
got sick?
>> No.
I guess when you find a decent,
witty, straight turtle
with great potential,
not to mention a great ass, you
do everything you can to try to
make it work.
But I tell you, it's really
tiring, trying to do it alone.
[ Sighs ]
>> I have got rounds.
[ Somber music ]
[ Airline engine roaring ]
[ Tires squealing ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Abbie!
Yo, abbie!
Wave!
Come on, wave!
Do something.
This is a moving picture.
Do something funny.
Come on.
Funny.
>> Guess who?
Hey!
>> Charles lorden, hunchback of
notre dame.
>> Aunt Sophie.
>> And cut.
Dr. Livingston, I presume.
I'm going to be late getting
back to work.
I'll probably get fired.
I'll spend my most productive
years waiter for unemployment
checks.
>> I could have taken a cab.
>> Don't be silly.
>> Why are you staring at me.
>> You look different.
What did you do get a haircut or
something?
>> Yeah, around three years ago.
>> So how is the hot shot doctor
like you get time off to visit
his old man.
>> It's like I told you on the
phone, I had a little bit of
time off, and I had a lot of
friends out here and wanted to
get some sun.
>> It couldn't have come at a
worse time.
I'm busy as hell.
>> Don't worry, I'm not going to
stay that long.
>> Was it something I said?
[ Phone jingling ]
>> Hey, pullen, lunch was an
hour.
You can't keep doing this.
>> I overdid it at the salad
bar.
Get a job.
Surrounded by assassins.
Do me a favor, would you punch
me up on the monitor.
In case anybody is interested, I
brought my own family doctor.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Abbie, do me a favor, help me
raise the bed.
So how is your so-called mother?
You seen her lately with?
>> She came to visit me about
two weeks ago.
She moved to Vermont, you know?
>> Hold it!
Hold it!
Vermont?
A woman her age is supposed to
live in Florida.
Who moves to Vermont.
>> She likes the cold.
>> She should, she invented it.
>> Okay.
Extras, places right away.
>> Abe, there is an ugly rumor
going around that they are going
to let some people go today.
>> I warned you, never play a
coma.
It's deadly, comas are the first
to go when they layoff.
>> Oh, what should I do?
>> Come out of your coma.
>> Thanks.
[ Sighs ]
>> Vermont?
You know your so-called mother
is crazy.
She was always crazy.
That's why I divorced her.
>> She said she divorced you.
>> That's how crazy she is.
How do I look, doctor?
>> Don't you feel like a putz?
>> A putz?
Where else could you lay around
all day and get paid?
>> Would you please clear the
set?
>> Abbie, stand by the monitor.
Enjoy me.
>> All right.
You are sick, you are very sick.
Pick a disease.
A quiet one.
I need this bed clear.
>> See, I think it will work.
>> I am feeling much better.
>> No, no, you don't come out of
your comma.
You are dead.
You are history.
Let's go.
Five, four, three, two . . .
>> Oh, my God.
I hope he doesn't recognize me.
>> How could you sleep with your
own grandfather?
>> Well, I didn't know.
>> Wait a minute, abbie, when
did you start to like sun?
What are you really doing out
here?
>> Stop take.
Cut.
>> Come on, we can't work like
this.
>> I thought I heard a noise
coming from this bed.
>> It was me.
I picked malaria.
I was delirious.
>> Back to work.
Come on, people, please, please,
help me out here.
Second bell, tape is rolling.
And in five, four, three,
two . . .
[ Music ]
There's a funny story, I hope
you understand, listen very
closely if you possibly can
[ music ]
The story of two popcorn
kernels in a red hot pan.
One turned to the other and said
hey man
[ music ]
I'm too pooped to pop
[ music ]
I'm playing possum
[ music ]
Don't like the bottom, wanted to
get up on top
[ music ]
It seems like I'm just too
pooped to pop
[ music ]
I'm too pooped to pop and I
ain't lying
[ music ]
Too pooped to lying, just lay
here frying, the fire is ready,
it just seems like I'm too
pooped to
[ music ]
Oh, yeah
[ music ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
>> No applause, just throw
money.
[ Applause ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> How are you doing?
>> Good.
Good.
Come on, abbie, have a drink.
>> This is fine.
>> Come on, have a taste.
>> I'll have an absolute on the
rocks.
>> Absolutely.
Give me one.
I can't fly on one wing, kid.
>> Am I going to see you
Wednesday?
>> I'll give you a call.
My kid is in town.
>> Oh, see that you do.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> And now for all of the lovers
in the room.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
>> I usually play by ear.
[ Laughter ]
>> You are a plenty popular guy.
>> These are my people.
Extras of the real Hollywood.
You won't see their names in the
credit.
We like to think of ourselves as
behind the title.
See this guy over there?
>> Yeah.
>> He is a legend.
He invented the courtroom
waller.
>> Oh, he is that famous.
>> You know how every courtroom
you see a guy finally confesses,
and then a murmur goes
throughout the courtroom?
That's a waller.
And that's Dan kantor.
The great man who invented it.
Watch this.
Hey, Stan!
Isn't it true that you had
sexual intercourse with Allison
wheatley?
[ Murmuring ]
[ Laughter ]
>> They got the Brody kid over
in the jailhouse!
>> Hang him, I say let's hang
him!
[ Cheers ]
>> Watch this one.
How is your hey fever?
[ Sneezing ]
[ Laughter ]
>> I love it when you do that.
>> Thanks.
>> They are all specialists,
kid, just like you.
>> What is your specialty, Abe?
>> Me, I'm a face in a crowd.
Let's talk Turkey.
Why did you really come out
here?
>> I have been under a lot of
pressure lately, and --
>> you want my advise, please on
it.
>> Thank you very much.
>> Have you tried taking
showers.
I get my best ideas in the
shower.
>> Please listen to me.
>> I got a better one, put on
your socks, take off your socks.
Einstein figured out the whole
universe putting on his socks.
>> Abe.
I had a heart attack.
>> You hold that thought.
[ Crowd chatter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Phone ringing ]
>> Last call?
I'll see if he is here.
Dr. pullen, telephone?
Dr. pullen?
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Are you sure you said
Dr. pullen?
>> Yeah, Dr. pullen.
>> Hello, this is Dr. pullen.
>> When did it happen?
>> Where the hell are you?
>> Listen, this is a toll call.
You want to just hit the
highlights?
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> What the hell is the matter
with you?
>> I caught you at a bad time.
Listen, while you are calming
down.
If you want to call to me I'm at
555-4739.
And while you are thinking it
over, I want you to know it's
not my fault.
>> Get down here and talk to me.
>> When the hell did it happen?
>> Six weeks ago!
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Six weeks!
Six weeks, and you wait until
now to tell me?
What am I a passing
acquaintance!
How am I supposed to feel?
>> This isn't about you!
I came out --
>> Abe?
Abe?
Oh, excuse me.
Abe?
Your call did it.
I got any job.
Two weeks guaranteed.
>> Isn't that good news.
Isn't that good news, abbie?
>> I'm so nervous, I haven't
worked in months.
[ Sobbing ]
>> Hey, come on.
Angels don't cry.
[ Sobbing ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> She needed my help.
I pulled a few strings.
Shit!
[ Footsteps ]
>> Five years you don't see me.
And then you waltz out of here
without warning and hit with a
heart attack.
What am I chasing you for?
Where are you going?
[ Footsteps ]
>> How can a city this big have
no cabs?
>> Will you listen to me?
Do you know that you just
embarrassed me in front of my
friends.
>> My heart attack embarrassed
you?
>> What did I say?
>> I'm going to the hotel.
You were better on the phone!
Taxi!
[ Horn honking ]
>> Hi, it's me.
It's little bit after midnight
for you, which makes it 1958 out
here.
Just called to say, I'm fine.
Everything went great.
My dad was really happy to see
me.
And we're going to a baseball
game tomorrow if you can imagine
that.
Otherwise I feel good.
I'm just a little bit tired
that's all.
Your voice sounded really sexy
on your answering machine.
Well, enough of that.
I'm not allowed to get crazy, am
I?
Well, this is your weary
traveler saying, good night.
[ Knocking ]
>> Who is it?
>> Room service.
>> I didn't order any room
service.
>> Complementary fruit for
Dr. pullen?
>> Say you are stuping some girl
in here, and you have another
heart attack, and she robs you
and she leaves you there, and
you can't get to the phone for
help.
>> What do you want?
>> Will you stay with me kido.
>> This trip was a really bad
idea.
It was lovely seeing you again,
but I'm going home tomorrow.
>> Going home?
We just got off to a bad start.
>> We always just get off to a
bad start.
>> Will you do it for me?
Just tonight?
>> It's pointless.
>> I'm your father, and I'm
asking.
[ Music ]
>> Don't you ever feel like a
putz in those costumes?
>> Putz?
I never feel like a putz.
[ Music ]
>> I have lived a thousand
different lives in
a thousand different places,
kid.
>> Great, when was the last time
you opened a window.
>> Towering inferno, Steve
McQueen, need a little help.
Hey!
You going to stay here with me?
Watch it?
Nobody tells Abe pullen how to
live.
>> You still have the old chair
from Brooklyn?
>> Yeah, we watched Johnny beat
the Yankees in that chair.
That's the only thing I took
with me after the divorce.
I left your mother everything
else, including the rumors.
Let me show you something.
You see that?
>> Uh-huh.
>> When I die, I want you to
make a mold of that imprint and
put it in front of the Chinese
theater.
Gables feet, Monroe's hands, and
Abe pullen's ass.
>> I'll write that down.
This is an interesting
collage.
I couldn't find a picture of us
together, so I taped me in.
>> Well, you would never know.
>> I did a good job.
You want a beer?
You got a pill to take or
something?
>> No, I'm going to turn in.
>> To what?
[ Chuckles ]
>> Hey, Abe?
>> What?
>> Which is my bed?
>> What is the difference, take
your pick.
>> Well, I don't want to sleep
in your bed.
>> Your bed, my bed, a bed is a
bed is a bed.
It looks like you picked out a
bed.
Take it.
Hey, kid, I got an early call at
the studio tomorrow.
You want to come to work with
me?
>> I thought you said if I
stayed here, you were going to
take some time off?
>> Did I say that?
It's a very important job.
It could be the big one.
>> Big one?
But you're an extra.
Didn't you want to be an actor?
>> I am an actor.
>> But it's not really acting.
Anybody can do what you do.
You stand behind the actors.
>> I could have a hundred
speaking parts.
I don't know how many times a
director said, Abe, go for a
part.
>> So why haven't you?
>> Because I won't take just
anything.
There's an art to being
incidental.
>> You know how good I am?
A laid in that hospital bed
every day for two months on that
soap opera.
People all over the country sent
me get-well cards.
>> I'm not an extra, I'm the
king of the extras.
>> Good night, Abe.
>> Yeah, good night.
>> Any schmuck can get a
speaking part.
Speaking part.
>> Must have scared the hell out
of you, huh?
>> I thought it was immortal.
>> It's like old times, just you
and me, talking about our
problems.
>> We never talked about
anything.
>> Why bring up problems?
>> What's the matter?
>> You are in my bed.
Thank you.
[ Somber music ]
[ Somber music continues ]
>> Hi.
[ Crowd chatter ]
[ Music ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Okay.
People, hold it down!
Hold it down.
You want to finish that
conversation on your own time?
All right.
A couple of things.
Number one, use the phones
outside.
Don't use the phones on the
stage.
They are for the actors only.
The bad news is there has been
changes and we don't need all of
you.
[ Murmuring ]
>> All right.
You are breaking my heart.
Count out the 20, and the rest
of you go home.
Go ahead start counting?
>> I don't count.
I'm an actor.
>> He's an actor.
>> Start counting or get lost.
>> One [ Clears throat ]
>> What did you say?
>> Two, three, four, five --
>> I really need this.
>> Six, seven, eight.
[ Labored breathing ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Knocking ]
[ Labored breathing ]
>> Who is it?
>> Dr. pullen, telegram.
>> Oh.
>> Dr. pullen?
>> Yeah.
This is your celebrity
impressions tapping telegram.
[ Music ]
Well, hello you old poop, I just
came to get the scoop to see if
you are behaving like you should
[ music ]
You know what I mean
[ music ]
Are you watching your aorta
[ music ]
And doing what you otta
[ music ]
Because doctors who are sick
ain't very good
[ music ]
>> Thank you.
Thanks very much.
>> Are you in show business?
>> No I'm a doctor.
>> For one of the studios?
>> No.
>> Well, here is a picture
anyway.
You never know.
>> Who sent you?
>> Oh, direct from the big
apple, Dr. Lisa McConnell!
[ Humming ]
[ Laughter ]
>> I was in the neighborhood.
>> Holy shit.
>> You are so romantic, she
said, and he swept her into his
arms and carried her off to his
bed.
>> Did I say holy shit?
>> You have got to stop
threatening to love me, abbie?
>> What the hell are you doing
here?
>> Well, I was sitting home, and
listening to the messages on my
machine, and all of a sudden,
here is your lonely voice saying
everything is fine.
You dad went to a baseball game.
>> Hum.
>> Schmuck, there is no baseball
in January.
>> Oooooooh.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Umm, how about asking me in.
This is a 3,000-mile house call.
>> Yeah, sure.
Come in.
>> You don't see very happy to
see me.
>> I'm surprised to see you.
That's all.
Hi.
>> Could you be a little less
emotional when you kiss me.
>> I'm perspiring, you know.
>> How is it going?
>> I'm in a lot of trouble here.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> That may be the most honest
thing you have ever said to me.
>> I was doing good.
I really was.
I was nervous, but I was in
control.
And then someplace between
baggage claim and the curb, it
got all screwed up.
I'm going to take a shower, all
right?
Make yourself at home.
>> Thank you.
[ Music ]
>> Play it, bill.
[ Music ]
Wee, wee
[ music ]
>> Excuse me, sorry, can you
tell me where stage 13 is?
>> Just at the end of the
trailer to your right.
>> Thank you.
>> Uh-huh.
>> That was pretty good.
>> He is either an actor or he
isn't?
>> Exactly.
>> Abe said it's not stupid to
play broccoli.
Excuse me.
No, I'm an actor.
I play many roles.
I am not a please of meat.
I command respect.
If they catch me using this
phone they will kill me.
[ Buzzer sounds ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Excuse me, Ms. strawberry.
>> Hey, what is happening?
>> Can you tell me where Abe
pullen?
>> Oh, of course.
He is holding court right on the
set there.
[ Laughter ]
>> Abe, you got visitors.
>> Oooooooh, look out for people
wearing bibs.
[ Laughter ]
>> This is a really good friend
of my, Dr. Lisa McConnell.
This is my pleasure.
>> It is so nice to meet you.
I have heard so much about you.
>> I'm glad you came, doctor,
maybe you can tell me what is
wrong with my hand.
It has been like this for a
month.
>> Have -- have you tried
soaking it in melted butter?
[ Laughter ]
>> Oh, we got a winner here.
Anything off of the top shelf
sweetheart.
[ Laughter ]
>> Don't you feel like a putz.
>> When was the last time you
were a lobster?
[ Laughter ]
>> Are you from Hollywood
doctor?
>> No, New York.
>> Oh, really?
That's where I am from, frozen
fresh.
>> Lisa and I are on staff
together.
She is one of the best
pediatricians in New York.
>> Nice credit.
What is it you got bored of me
already?
You had to fly in visitors?
Tango!
Touch up!
>> Shut up.
Get over here.
>> You remember my late son
abbie.
And this is one of only three
lady doctors in the world.
Cristian O'Hara.
>> Lisa McConnell.
>> Nice to meet you.
[ Laughter ]
>> Make it special.
It isn't every day my son sees
me crawl.
>> Abe, I'm going to make you
look like you just came out of
the water.
>> Who does this skin remind you
of?
>> Grace Kelly.
Skin like a baby's bottom.
>> I worked with grace Kelly in
to catch a thief.
Remember the ballroom scene?
I danced right by.
>> That's the first movie I ever
saw.
The state theater, Madison,
Wisconsin.
>> That's nice.
Abbie do me a favor, would you,
rub the shell right above my
ear.
>> You really knew grace Kelly?
>> Yes, I knew grace Kelly.
>> That's it.
Off you go.
>> Thanks, tiger.
Anybody calls, tell them I'm in
Maine for the summer.
[ Laughter ]
>> This thing weighs a ton.
I would like to get some air.
[ Footsteps ]
>> What is the name of this
picture?
>> Surf and turf.
>> Babe?
Is that you?
>> Shawn, is that you?
>> You look very well.
>> $12 a pound, mate.
>> I must get back to work.
Good-bye.
>> That's Shawn connery.
>> I know, he's from my own
neighborhood.
Let's go.
>> You know Sean connery?
>> Yeah, I know all the greats.
Marlon Brando, Newman.
I worked with Doris day.
>> Yeah?
>> Oh, yeah, I used to walk her
cat.
You stay right over here,
sweetheart.
You can see everything.
>> All right.
First team.
>> Anybody bothers you, you just
tell them you are with Abe.
>> Excuse me.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> He's very charming.
>> Oh, isn't he?
>> You okay in here.
You see where you are going?
>> Yeah.
>> Right over here.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Fruits and vegetables stay
together!
You shell fish, you can spread
out, but remember this is your
first time on land.
You are panicked!
You can be only think of one
thing.
You want revenge!
Okay.
Everybody ready.
Max, are you ready?
>> Yes.
>> Max is ready.
I'm ready.
You have are ready.
All right.
Let's make this picture.
Let's have a bell.
[ Bell rings ]
>> Let's go!
Shell fish.
[ Moaning ]
>> He loneliest feeling in the
world to be standing up when
everybody else is sitting down.
To have everybody else say what
is the matter with him?
>> He has a part.
>> I know.
I know what it is like to walk
down an empty street and hear
the sound of his own footsteps?
>> He must be drunk?
>> You want to get him off the
set?
>> Yeah.
[ Bell rings ]
>> Cut!
Cut!
>> And you aren't sure if you
are walking towards something,
or just walking away.
>> Would somebody get rid of the
lobster please.
Nurse?
Is there a nurse on the set?
>> I'm a doctor?
What are you doing?
>> Nothing.
>> Are you all right?
>> Of course I'm all right.
>> Then come down here, please.
Give us just a second, please.
Thank you.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> There.
>> I haven't said that speech in
30 years.
>> I know.
>> What's the matter you never
saw a lobster talk before.
[ Chuckling ]
>> I'm fine.
I'm okay.
>> Right here.
>> Will you stop carrying on.
Come on, I just lost my
geography.
For a second there, I thought it
was someplace else.
>> Has this ever happened
before, Abe?
>> Once in a while I recite the
gettysburg address, but that's
for practice.
>> Look up.
>> No dizziness?
No sudden blackouts.
>> You are the doctor, you tell
me.
>> Do this.
He seems to be fine.
>> Maybe it was dehydration.
It must have been hot as hell in
that lobster costume.
>> What did you have to eat and
drink today?
>> The usual, a taco, couple of
beers.
>> And this.
This is a good idea.
You don't take care of yourself.
>> Look who is talking,
Mr. chest pains.
>> What was the last time you
had a physical, Abe?
>> When I needed one.
Now please.
>> Hey.
>> Al, you know Dr. and
Mrs. wellby.
>> What the hell happened?
>> I faked it.
You do something crazy, it gets
in the movie.
>> You are a sick puppy.
>> This is where it all happens,
kid.
Magic time.
You see that.
Moses parted the red sea right
there.
>> Right there in that parking
lot?
>> It's a water tank.
It was my first flick.
I played a goat herder, almost
didn't make it through.
>> That's amazing.
>> You want a bite?
>> Why bother eating?
Why don't you shove it directly
into your artery?
>> Oooooooh.
Bif is a moody man.
What do you see in him?
I mean what has he got that I
ain't got, only younger?
>> Well, to start with more
hair.
[ Chuckles ]
>> He was 11 years old.
I took him to sugarman's turkish
bath.
He didn't want to go in naked.
He was afraid that everybody
would laugh when everybody would
see he didn't have any hair on
his -- you know what I mean.
>> Uh-huh.
>> I was afraid they were going
to laugh.
Is it such a big deal?
What the hell are you bringing
this up now for?
>> Anyway --
>> so tell me more about this
tank.
>> I try to explain to him, you
think these guys never saw a
little boy before.
It's natural.
You grow up.
Your body starts to change, and
then you get --
>> so I trust him, right, and I
take off all of my clothes.
I hold his hand, and we go
inside.
And then he yells --
>> I said --
>> you yelled!
>> I said!
Don't anybody laugh because my
son don't have hair on his
balls.
[ Laughter ]
>> Is that so bad.
>> It's a funny story.
It's a funny story.
If you like that story, you are
going to love this story.
After he left us, I would come
out to see him like twice a year
or so, you know.
And he was always busy working.
>> I was hot --
>> can I tell my story, please?
So . . . After a couple of days,
you know, he would get bored
with me.
And he would send me right back
to my mother.
He would put me on a train, give
the Porter $12, and tell him,
don't let this kid get off
before New York.
I still get mail from the
Porter.
>> I never gave the Porter less
than $25.
He is always making up these
kind of stories.
>> Excuse me, boys, I mean not
that this isn't fun, but I'm
going to go look around.
>> Where are you going?
>> It is not important where I'm
going.
Where are you going?
You are very funny, very
charming, but don't put me in
the middle of this.
It's too painful.
You want to know why you got
sick?
I see him.
I see you.
>> Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Are you saying I'm like my
father?
>> You want me to say exactly?
>> The man is a pitbull, he is
suck the oxygen out of a room.
>> Yes, he is a tough case, but
you have never walked away from
one before, doctor.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Footsteps ]
[ Phone ringing ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> She's still not at this
hotel.
>> What are you worried about?
She probably went to the movies.
It's your fault?
[ Sighs ]
>> Do you love her?
>> Leave me alone.
>> Was that too tough of
question?
>> Why don't you do what you do
best.
Stay the hell out of my life?
>> You're getting too personal.
Maybe you ought to get to the
phone.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Giants.
They were all giants.
>> What giants?
These are gimmicks to get people
to come into a theater?
>> Gary Cooper was a gimmick,
Humphrey bogart was a gimmick?
>> Fonda, Charles boreton,
Edward g Robinson, and . . .
They moved Paul uni?
>> No, they didn't, it is Jimmy
Stewart, and it was always Jimmy
Stewart.
>> You are telling me --
>> I'm telling you, we always
played that way.
Come here, I'll show you.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Fonda, lowerton boyay,
Robinson, Stewart.
See.
>> They moved them.
>> No, they didn't.
They just never listened to me.
>> What is to listen?
You are wrong.
[ Crashing ]
>> Why are you running?
[ Horn honking ]
>> You are not supposed to run!
[ Tires squealing ]
[ Horn honking ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> What happened?
I'm a doctor, coming through,
please.
I'm a doctor?
Are you okay?
You stay there, please.
>> Doc, that guy is bleeding
pretty bad right over there.
Doc right there.
>> It's okay.
I'm a doctor.
Come into my office right here.
Lie down.
All right.
That's good.
Okay.
My name is Dr. abbie pullen, I'm
from New York.
You ever been there?
>> Move it.
Move it.
>> You were in an accident.
Do you understand that?
>> Will you step back, please?
>> Okay.
You have a compound fracture of
your left clavicle.
I don't do that kind of work, we
sent it out to the shop.
Okay.
What I'm going to do is remove
your tie, which is a lovely
fabric, by the way, and I'm
sorry --
>> step aside.
Step aside.
>> Are you a doctor?
>> Yeah.
>> No, he is an electrician, but
he is good with his hands.
>> What are you a wise guy?
Just step back and let him work.
>> Yeah, let him work.
>> Step back.
I want everybody back.
>> You driving a corvette?
What kind of mileage you get to
that?
>> How are you doing?
>> You're in my light.
[ Siren blaring ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Back up.
Back up.
>> Okay.
Now, are you feeling any of the
pain beside this pressure.
This pressure is only me.
I'm just applying a little
pressure here.
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> You are unbelievable.
>> What?
>> What if the man died?
If the man dies, you could get
sued.
Look at you, you got blood all
over your clothes.
>> That what I do.
I get blood on my clothes.
I'm a doctor.
What the hell did you ever do?
>> Or excuse me?
Did you have a roof over your
head?
Clothes on your back?
Who the hell do you think sent
you through medical school?
>> Uncle Dave!
>> Well, he could afford it.
What the hell do you want from
me?
>> What I want from you, you
couldn't give me if your life
depended on it.
>> And what is that?
>> How about love!
[ Tires squealing ]
>> Love?
If you love someone, you come
and see them a little more often
than once every five years!
Love!
>> What the hell would I know
about love?
Because everything I know about
love I learned from you.
You know I'm sitting in there
things, maybe you might say
something good.
You saw me do something.
You might be proud!
But no, you give me this
bullshit about getting sued!
>> I was trying to look out for
you!
>> You never looked out for
anybody but yourself!
>> Is that why you came out
here?
>> No, I came out here to either
get you in or get you out of my
life!
>> What conclusion have you come
to?
>> That you are a fraud.
You are a fraud.
You are a fraud as a father!
You are a fraud as a husband!
And you are a fake, Abe!
You are not an actor!
[ Dramatic music ]
>> Did I ever lay a hand on you?
>> At least you would have
touched me.
>> It's not too late.
>> Let's go.
[ Dramatic music ]
>> I have dreamed about hitting
you so hard so many times.
>> Give it your best shot, come
on!
>> Right now!
[ Dramatic music ]
>> Look at us.
We are pathetic.
[ Somber music ]
[ Scoffs ]
[ Footsteps ]
>> I am not a fraud!
I am an actor!
[ Somber music ]
[ Knocking ]
>> Who it is?
>> It's me.
>> What happened?
>> Wait a minute, all I said was
talk to him.
>> It's okay.
No more talking.
Just hold me, please.
[ Somber music ]
[ Water splashing ]
>> Can we talk now.
[ Chuckles ]
>> How do you feel?
>> I feel very grown up.
I feel very sad for him.
You feel amazing in my arms.
And I have done enough for one
trip.
I'm going home.
>> You want a second opinion?
>> Maybe later.
[ Footsteps ]
[ Birds chirping ]
>> I was looking all over for
you.
What are you doing down there?
>> I like to watch the sun come
up from here.
God does nice lighting.
Why don't you jump in?
It's a little cold, but you get
used to it after a while.
>> I packed all my stuff.
My plane leaves at 10:00.
>> It's a nice time to fly.
Where is the other doctor?
>> Lisa is waiting in the cab.
>> At least I got to see your
haircut.
Say good-bye to Christian.
Tell her to think about changing
her name.
>> You have my number?
[ Dog barking ]
>> Yeah.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Hey, don't work too hard,
kido.
Okay?
>> So long, Abe.
>> Let me at least drive you to
the airport.
>> We have a cab.
Thanks anyway.
>> I'm your father, and I'm
asking.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> I'll meet you out front.
>> I'm going to take you right
to the plane.
>> You know I'm a little hungry.
Why don't we stop.
I would like to get some
breakfast.
>> You got a plane to catch.
>> Don't worry.
We'll make it.
>> Okay.
It's your plane.
It wasn't my call.
How about a taco.
>> A taco?
How could you eat a taco this
early in the morning?
>> It started on the alamo with
Duke laine.
I worked 28 days on that
picture.
The real alamo took 13.
>> All right.
I'm game.
>> Where can we get tacos?
>> Mexico.
>> Mexico?
>> Me-he-co!
[ Mexican music ]
>> People, smile.
You are standing on the oldest
street in Los Angeles.
Don't you feel like a putz?
>> Relax Mr. fun police.
>> Excuse me, could you hurry
up, the kids are getting cranky
>> cranky?
He said we were going to Mexico.
>> Use your imagination.
This is Mexico, only better.
You save a three-hour trip and
you can drink the water.
>> I know you have a smile.
You just have to bring it from
here to here.
[ Sighs ]
>> Last night . . . I don't want
it to be like that.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Either do I.
>> Nothing is worth getting that
upset about, accept this girl.
She has nipples the size of the
dials on my television set.
[ Laughter ]
>> Hold it.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Listen, I . . .
>> Yeah, you don't have to
apologize.
Not even to me.
How do I look?
>> You know how you look.
It wasn't that long ago.
>> Hey, you said $10 for a color
photograph.
>> Black is a color, and white
is a color.
>> Yeah?
And five is the number.
And adios is good-bye.
Come on.
It's fiesta time.
Excuse me.
I bought one of your cars.
[ Music ]
[ Crowd chatter ]
>> Riva!
[ Laughter ]
>> You got good rhythm,
Christian.
>> Not bad for a schick, huh?
>> So what are you doing out
here?
You came out here to gang up on
me?
>> No, I came out here, because
I heard you were a terrific
dancer.
>> Did he say that?
>> Yeah.
[ Music ]
>> His heart is all right now,
huh?
>> Yeah.
Yeah.
I think he's getting better
every day.
[ Applause ]
[ Laughter ]
>> He is right.
You are a great dancer.
>> I would be better if you let
me lead once in a while.
>> Abbie, come on let's dance.
>> No, it's way too much fun.
>> It's great cardiovascular.
[ Music ]
>> Now don't you feel like you
are in Mexico.
>> No.
[ Laughter ]
>> Nurse!
Another round for my men.
Make sure that you give me all
the checks.
I don't want you to lose it.
>> What are you talking about?
>> I'm so happy that I lived to
see your bar mitzvah.
I'm very proud of you abbie.
>> Thank you.
[ Music ]
>> I think we should go.
I'm getting tired.
>> Yeah.
>> No.
No.
I feel like doing a horror.
>> This doesn't look like a
horror crowd?
>> I think he is right, Abe.
Listen, I can't do another dance
for sure.
[ Music ]
>> Horror is not a dance.
It's a condition.
[ Music ]
>> Maestro!
Maestro!
[ Speaking Spanish ]
>> Gracias, have a Tequila!
[ Applause ]
>> Hold it.
How do you do?
What is your name?
>> Jose.
>> Now, follow me.
Hah-va-LA-gee-ma.
Tee-key-LA.
>> No, no, no.
>> No.
Nothing to do with Tequila.
Hah-va-na-gee-LA --
>> I know exactly what you want.
Can I borrow your trumpet?
>> Oh, si.
>> Gracias.
[ Music ]
>> That's for Lisa McConnell and
all of the gang at the morgue.
>> You have been practicing.
>> Follow me.
[ Music ]
[ Laughter ]
>> Andele!
[ Music ]
>> Ye hah!
>> Abe, no.
I don't know how.
>> Come on!
[ Music ]
>> Gracias!
Gracias!
[ Music ]
[ Applause ]
[ Cheers ]
>> Ya!
[ Music ]
[ Cheers ]
>> Come on, let's go!
[ Music ]
>> Ole!
[ Music ]
>> If he would have listened to
me.
He could have been another Harry
James!
Guess who?
>> Bandwagon.
No do it again.
[ Laughter ]
>> Wait.
I have got one.
Okay.
Don't laugh.
[ Clears throat. ]
>> If only I wasn't in this
chair, James!
But ya are, ya are!
>> That's Betty Davis, whatever
happened to baby James.
>> Betty Davis and Joan
Crawford.
I did both parts.
>> Oooooooh.
>> All right.
I got one.
[ Crickets chirping ]
>> You want me to hold the
chicken?
>> What is this, Abe?
Is this a foreign movie?
>> Listen.
Listen.
You want me to hold the chicken.
Oh, it's the waitress in five
easy pieces.
Remember the order, and then
Jack nicolaus says between your
knees.
>> Between your knees.
[ Somber music ]
>> Remember?
>> The loneliest feeling in the
world to be standing up when
everybody else is sitting down.
When everybody around you
say -- to have -- to have
everybody around you say --
>> wait -- wait -- it's what his
name.
It's what's his name.
>> He is not playing the game.
>> What?
>> It's just me.
[ Somber music ]
>> And everybody looks at him
and says, what is the matter
with him?
I know.
I know what it is like.
Walking down an empty street,
listening to the sound of your
own footsteps, shutters closed.
Blinds drawn.
>> Doors locked against you.
And you aren't sure whether you
are walking towards something or
just walking away.
>> Oh, really?
>> It was good, pop.
It was really, really good.
[ Somber music ]
>> I hate hospitals.
How could you stand it.
You could catch something here.
What do you got a connection
here or something?
>> The chief of staff is an old
college Professor of mine.
He is doing us a very big favor.
Just relax.
Everything is going to be okay.
Put this on.
Name?
I know your name.
Date of birth --
>> before your time.
>> Date of birth is December --
>> march 14th, 1945.
>> We always celebrated it in
December.
>> So I lied.
I liked a lot of gifts for
Christmas.
>> Have you ever had --
>> no, I never had anything.
I never even had my own room
until I got divorced.
Well?
How do I like?
Try to imagine this with
jewelry.
>> Would you get on the scale,
please.
Why are you walking like that in
here?
>> It prevents athletes feet.
>> Of course.
>> Why are these things always
so cold.
>> Come on.
Get up here.
5'9".
>> I'm shrinking.
By the time I die, you can bury
me in a shoebox.
What is the difference.
I didn't come in here for a
suit.
I came in here for a physical.
>> Fill this up.
>> With what?
>> Just fill it up.
[ Moaning ]
>> Are you okay?
>> No.
I can't get the lid off of the
goddamn bottle.
>> Very funny.
Just please try it again.
Thank you.
>> Abbie, I can't perform
in here.
>> Try running the water.
[ Water running ]
>> Ta-da!
>> Thank you.
[ Sighs ]
>> I'll give you 500 for a
cigarette, kido.
>> Okay.
Now you can't move.
Okay.
>> It's hard for me to do
stills.
I'm a motion picture actor.
>> Just relax.
[ Music ]
Don't you come home bill Bailey,
won't you come home
[ music ]
I'll do the dishes, darling, pay
the rent
[ music ]
>> My mother used to sing that
to me.
You didn't know your
grandmother, did you, abbie?
You would have loved her.
She was always singing.
[ Somber music ]
>> My father was always
miserable.
Broke his ass for 40 years in a
sweat shop.
All he ever wanted out of life
was a sewing machine by the
window.
[ Whimpering ]
>> I never heard him laugh.
[ Somber music ]
>> Okay.
Abe, this isn't going to hurt at
all.
But you really have to try to be
still now.
Okay?
Okay.
[ Music ]
I'll do the dishes ]
[ Machine humming ]
[ Music ]
I'll pay the rent
[ music ]
[ Machine beeping ]
>> Okay.
Pop.
Go home.
>> Go home?
>> Uh-huh.
>> You touched this, you touched
that.
You have seen parts of me, you
haven't seen, and all you can
tell me is go home.
>> Uh-huh.
Go home.
I'm going to send away for the
results of your tests.
They are going to rush them
through.
>> I don't like rushing.
Rushing makes me nervous.
>> Don't be nervous.
>> On your way home, get me a
sandwich, an Eddie kantor.
You hear me?
>> I hear you.
An Eddie kantor.
>> Thank you.
[ Music ]
You are a sentimental gentlemen
of song
[ music ]
>> In case I burn my pants.
>> Very funny.
>> Ed win.
I wanted you to know, you
doctors play rough.
My ass looks like a miniature
golf course.
>> Where is Lisa?
>> At the hotel.
She said give her a call.
Did you bring what I asked?
>> Yeah.
>> This is not an Eddie kantor.
This is a georgy defer.
>> What is the difference?
>> An Eddie kantor is a meal in
itself.
[ Scoffs ]
>> An Ethiopian wouldn't eat
this.
>> Look, I made a mistake.
Just eat the damn thing, huh?
>> All right.
I'll eat it.
>> Well, at least you got the
pickles right.
Pickles right.
I failed the test, right?
>> You have a blister on a blood
vessel in your brain.
It's like what happens to an
inner tube when it starts to
burst.
>> So why don't I feel anything?
>> Well, you do, actually.
The headaches.
These speeches that you suddenly
remember.
It's all part of it.
It's called an aneurysm.
>> Good word for scrabble.
Probably has double letters in
it.
So?
Who do we do for it?
>> It's in a portion of your
brain --
[ voice cracks. ]
>> -- Known as the circle of
Willis.
We can't get to it surgically.
>> So what you are saying is
don't buy green bananas.
>> I can't do anything.
>> How long?
[ Clears throat ]
>> I don't know.
>> Come on.
An hour, a day, a week, a month?
Something?
>> There is no way to know.
>> What is going to happen?
>> The headaches will continue,
but there's medication for that.
And these episodes, how did you
say it at the set?
You lost your geography?
>> What is going to happen if I
get lost?
>> I'll be here.
[ Somber music ]
>> That's good.
[ Footsteps ]
>> You know I never had my name
in variety?
Probably now it will be on page
9.
Little box.
It will say Abraham pullen.
63, movie extra.
19th man to yell I'm sparticus.
I guess I'll get some sleep.
[ Somber music ]
>> I'll see you tomorrow, right?
>> Why do you say it like that?
>> Because you won't tell me how
long.
If this is it, I'll stay up.
Maybe there's a good movie on
the late show.
>> Dad.
>> Hey, come on, kid.
Don't worry.
It's not your fault.
Things like this happen to
fathers.
I'm mad.
[ Somber music ]
>> I know.
>> I really wanted an Eddie
kantor.
[ Scoffs ]
[ Somber music ]
[ Crickets chirping ]
>> Maybe I shouldn't have
told him.
>> He is your patient.
He has a right to know.
>> I should have been a
dermatologist.
>> No, you would be a lousy one.
There are 300 skin diseases,
and two creams.
Where is the challenge?
>> This whole thing could have
been avoided!
You see how he lives.
He takes better care of his
goddamn car than he does
himself.
Dammit, I feel like I'm his
father!
>> Don't.
Feel like his son.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Abe?
>> Hello!
Back pass!
>> We have got some tacos here.
>> Abbie!
>> Oh, shit.
>> Eh?
[ Laughter ]
>> What the hell are you doing?
>> Rehearsing.
>> That is not funny.
>> You think it's easy playing
dead.
Open your eyes and don't blink?
That's dying.
Let me show you something.
Let me show you something about
dying.
I have been thinking.
Watch.
Who is this?
Dustin Hoffman in midnight
cowboy, he died all the way to
Florida.
Everybody loves a death scene.
Let me set the scene.
Christian you'll enjoy this.
Just stand right over here.
Now, the man knows he's dying,
but he don't know when.
So he decides to come into the
kitchen, a coffee and read the
trades.
All of a sudden, a busy smell
overtakes him.
Beads of perspiration start to
dot his forehead.
He grasps!
[ Crashing ]
>> He thinks.
This is it.
He decides to give up smoking.
He has only one thought in his
mind.
He must get to the phone to
reach his son.
He must speak to his son, who is
out God knows where, stupping
some catholic girl.
The first pain hits him.
You will notice that the picture
is slightly askew.
He desperately fights across the
room holding on with every bit
of strength that he can muster.
He starts to fall again!
He clings, he clings, he fights
his way across the room.
He falls to the floor.
Crawling, scratching.
The morning sun touches his
face.
He realizes that will be no more
mornings.
He reaches . . . The coupons he
was saving to buy his son a hair
dryer.
[ Chuckles ]
>> With his last will of
strength, he reaches the phone.
He dials desperately.
[ Labored breathing ]
>> But it is too late!
The death rattle.
[ Croaking noise ]
[ Footsteps ]
>> The number you have reached
is not a working number.
[ Laughter ]
>> Perfect.
Pretty good, huh?
>> Bravo!
>> It was very good.
It was very good.
Now, listen, go get dressed.
>> Where are we going?
>> I made a list.
Of all of the things that we
never had a chance to do.
>> What are you talking about?
>> You just go get dressed.
I'll tell you what I want to do,
and you'll get us there, all
right.
>> All right.
>> He's very good.
>> He's very crazy.
[ Laughter ]
>> Yeehaw!
This is a great idea.
>> I love this.
[ Music ]
>> They like me, I think.
Hello.
>> He kisses like aunt Sophie.
Look.
[ Music ]
>> I got one!
I got one!
Woo-hoo!
>> I have never seen anything
like it.
It's a feeding frenzy.
Come on, boys.
Eat.
The fish in Europe are starving.
>> I can't believe that I
haven't gotten one yet.
>> It's all in the wrist, abbie,
here, I got a hot pole.
Take mine.
>> Oh!
Oh!
I got another one!
Woo-hoo!
[ Laughter ]
>> Would you please not do that.
Look, I'm going to go here and
fish by myself and you two can
catch every fish that is left.
Okay?
>> You must concentrate, abbie.
I didn't put any bait on his
hook.
[ Music ]
>> You catch all of those
yourself?
>> Yes.
>> That's great.
Just great.
>> I got to go back to work.
>> I understand.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Stay here.
I got to do this.
It's okay.
Stay right here.
>> Abbie!
>> It's okay.
>> Passing on the left!
Come on!
>> I'm going as fast as I can.
>> Let's go for the burn!
>> Excuse me, ma'am, I'm going
into hyper space!
[ Laughter ]
>> Ah.
[ Labored breathing ]
>> I don't want you to go.
>> I have to.
My patients need me.
>> What am I going to do without
you?
>> You'll do fine.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> I love you, Christian.
>> I love you Jewish.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Somber music ]
[ Footsteps ]
>> I'll miss you, Abe.
>> I'll miss me.
[ Somber music ]
[ Engine starts ]
>> Nice exit.
>> You know what you need?
>> A sequel.
>> A speaking part.
>> What are you talking about?
>> I don't know.
I -- I'm not sure yet.
>> Do you know anybody at Jenny
Lynn productions?
They are casting a movie too.
>> Abbie, please.
You sure you don't want this?
I only wore it once?
>> Once is plenty for that.
>> It's nice for the summer.
I'm sending some things over to
the motion picture home.
It's pretty tough staying home
when you are retired.
>> Do you know a producer Phil
Mitchell?
>> Producer Phil Mitchell.
He started with me 30 years ago.
He is the world's worst extra.
>> Well, he's producing a movie,
and they need all different
character types.
Look right here.
Let's give him a call.
>> It says agent submission
only.
I don't have an agent.
>> They all say agent submission
only.
How do you get an agent?
>> You got to get a part.
>> How do you get part?
>> You got to get an agent.
Didn't ask me the next question.
It's 30 years and I still don't
understand.
>> Who is a really big agent?
>> Woody halverman, the biggest.
Powerful.
He once said to Sinatra, you
want to hold it down?
I'm eating.
That's big.
[ Footsteps ]
>> What are you doing?
Don't mix up my life.
>> Shhhh.
Trust me.
>> Hi, may I help you?
>> Less.
I'm less scheckter from Woody
halverman's office.
I believe we have an appointment
for Mr. pullen.
>> Oh, yes.
Mr. pullen.
>> You do?
Of course you do.
Excuse me just a second.
Abe.
Don't be so impairment.
I spoke to Dominic.
He is going to hold a booth for
us.
>> Here you go.
Pages 81-a, 81-b.
The part of Eric.
>> Eric.
Nice typing.
Abe?
What are you doing?
>> Please.
Maybe -- maybe it's the wrong
time.
>> Tell her I have a headache.
>> Listen, listen.
Listen to me.
What is the worst thing that can
happen?
>> I'll be discovered.
>> No.
No.
You are an actor.
You can do this.
You are Eric.
Come on.
Go in there and you break a leg.
I'll mend it.
I'll call you from the car.
Ciao.
[ Footsteps ]
>> Chad?
Chad hunter?
>> This way.
>> It was very rough today,
wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
>> Sit down.
I'll be with you in a minute.
>> Mr. pullen?
>> You look surprised.
I have always looked like this.
>> Excuse me, I was expecting
somebody younger or somebody
different.
I hope I didn't embarrass you.
>> You think my face is
embarrassing, you should see my
body.
>> Please, sit down.
You look familiar, Abe.
Have we worked together, before?
>> We're in the same business.
>> Tell me a little bit about
yourself.
>> I'm 22.
I'm from New York.
I studied with uder, and I'm
having trouble adjusting to
California.
>> Okay.
Now tell me about you.
I'm 35, I have worked summer
stock, regional theater
>> yo, Abe.
>> I'm 63 years old.
I'm making a complete schmuck
out of myself, and I think it's
time that I left.
>> No.
No, don't go.
Please.
Really, I'm glad you came in.
It's actually quite refreshing
to find an older leading man
type who has a sense of humor
about himself.
>> Did I mention I was dying?
>> Don't be so hard on yourself.
You are very charming, Abe.
Would you like something?
>> No, thank you.
I'm walking.
>> I just can't get over it.
You look so familiar.
What movies have I seen you in?
>> Oh, I made many.
Too numerous to mention.
>> Try.
>> Let's see, I . . . Lost the
best years of our lives.
I harvested the grapes of wrath,
and I inherited the wind.
>> Come over here, Abe.
[ Footsteps ]
>> I'm an actor.
[ Scoffs ]
>> You want somebody to cheer?
I'll cheer.
You want somebody to laugh?
I'll be hysterical.
You want somebody to cry . . .
Believe me, I know about crying.
I can be anybody you want.
[ Music ]
Here's a funny story, I hope you
understand
[ music ]
Listen very closely if you
possibly can
[ music ]
>> Dad, don't do this.
Just tell us all what happened.
>> I charmed the pants off of
her.
[ Laughter ]
>> And?
[ Music ]
Too pooped to pop, and I am
dying
[ music ]
>> Please, just tell me what
happened.
>> Ten lines of dialogue.
[ Crowd reacts ]
>> Double scale!
[ Cheers and applause ]
>> You got the job!
[ Music ]
I start tomorrow morning at 6:00
[ music ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
>> A toast!
>> Here.
Here.
>> To my son.
Not only a wonderful doctor.
>> Wa-LA, wa-LA, wa-LA, wa-LA.
[ Laughter ]
>> And a wonderful agent.
>> Yeah.
>> Here here.
>> He is always paying for the
whole party!
[ Cheers and applause ]
>> Where are you taking me?
>> This is a special occasion.
This is a great day, and I have
a surprise for you.
>> What have you got here?
The firing squad.
>> Here we go.
And here.
>> What?
>> This.
>> Come on, now.
>> No, we're starting a new
tradition.
>> You are crazier than your
so-called mother, you know that.
>> No, this is for the actors,
and who better to do this than
you, the actor.
>> We'll get arrested.
>> Not if you hurry up.
Come on.
>> Ah-ha!
>> There it is!
Gables hands!
Monroe's feet!
And Abe pullen's ass!
>> Give me the towel before it
heals.
Come on.
>> No, no, no, no.
You got to sign it.
>> Let's get out of here.
[ Footsteps ]
>> Let's do this one last time,
and then I -- I have to get some
sleep.
Eric the maitre d' approaches
the table.
>> Good evening, Mr. and
Mrs. bellson.
>> Nice to see you again, Eric.
>> Would you like to know about
the specials tonight?
We have a lovely sabogu au jus.
We have the fresh catch of the
sea.
>> Hold it please.
All you say is, would you like
to see the menu, sir?
>> Oh, actors don't pay
attention to words.
You got to make the part your
own.
How about a nice flounder?
>> No, it's -- would you like to
see the menu --
>> you see if I didn't divorce
your mother, we wouldn't be
spending the quality time
together.
[ Laughter ]
>> I'm going to sleep.
>> No, no, no.
Wait.
I got to get a couple of things
off of my chest, encase we get
separated in the crowd.
>> What is it?
>> Well, it's no big news to
know.
I was ant great father.
Let's say I was miss cast.
But I want you to do me a big
favor.
>> Sure.
>> I love you, kid.
But I want you to go home.
>> Why?
>> You are waiting around for
this thing to happen.
The pressure is killing me.
I want you to go home.
>> I'm not going anywhere.
I have known you for 37 years
and we just met, and you want to
put me on a train again?
>> No.
But this time you can get off
anyplace you want.
And if I was you, I would get
off in New York.
I would Mary the Christian
doctor.
I would have a baby, and I would
name him after somebody who
recently died.
>> Okay.
That's a deal.
But I'm not going anywhere.
Except to bed.
>> No, no, you go to sleep.
I just have a small question.
Professional opinion.
>> Okay.
>> And don't be my son now.
Be my doctor.
>> All right.
>> What do you think the odds
are of my dying on a weekend?
[ Scoffs ]
>> Call your book maker, I don't
know.
>> This is very important!
If I died during the week,
nobody is going to come to my
funeral.
Everybody is working.
>> Why worry about this?
>> When you are my age, you
worry about two things.
One, you are with a woman and
she says let's do it again right
now.
[ Chuckles ]
>> And the other is, who is
going to come to my funeral.
>> You have a million friends.
>> I know a lot of people.
It's different.
My father worked in that shop
for 40 years.
Nobody came to his funeral.
>> But that was him.
And you are you.
And you have a 6:30 call
tomorrow.
>> Would you like to see the
menu, sir?
>> You are going to be great.
>> May I have the envelope
please.
[ Laughter ]
[ Dialing ]
[ Somber music ]
>> Can I have stage ten, please?
Thank you.
Hello, I'm calling for Abe
pullen.
He's -- I know he is late, and
he is very, very sorry about
that.
But unfortunately, Mr. pullen
will not be able to come in
today.
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Thank you.
[ Somber music ]
[ Birds chirping ]
>> Now is the time to go to
sleep, time to slip away.
Time to say sweet dreams to the
things that I love today.
Sweet dreams to the stars, sweet
dreams to the breeze, sweet
dreams to belly buttons that go
in and belly buttons that go
out.
Sweet dreams to all of the
tushies in the world, the little
ones, and the fat ones like the
waitress at the bowling alley.
[ Somber music ]
>> Sweet dreams.
[ Somber music ]
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Triumphant music ]
[ Slow piano music ]