The end of my innocence and childhood began in 1957.
It's remarkable to me now just how little I knew then about the people around me.
It took me years to figure out exactly what the truth was...
...especially given my brother's knack at inventing facts.
My mother once told me that if the Abbotts didn't exist...
...my brother would have had to invent them.
Lloyd Abbott wasn't the richest man in town, but it seemed like he was...
...because he had three beautiful daughters: Alice, Eleanor and Pamela.
Twice a year, you'd see the big tent go up on their tennis court...
...and everyone could see that one of the Abbott girls was having a birthday...
...or graduating or going away to college.
- Here we go. Another party. - Shut up.
Every time an Abbott girl gets her period, there's a party.
Kotex parties, Kotex party hats...
My brother and I were born strangers.
Same last name, same address...
...but everything else about us was different.
Back then, Jacey was a complete mystery to me.
And I was a constant source of embarrassment to him.
Oh, Christ.
Mom!
- Mom, he has to wash that off. - Why?
You can't let him go to the party until he does.
It'll look worse if I wash it. It's India ink. It'll turn gray.
You look like a clown! He looks like a clown and he doesn't know it.
- I thought you weren't even going. - I changed my mind.
Doug, you do understand that you may be the only person at this party...
...with artificial sideburns? - Yeah?
You do understand that they don't look real?
Yeah.
That they look really as if you'd drawn them on?
- Yeah. - It does seem that he understands...
...so just go to the party and ignore Doug.
- Have a good time. Pretend you don't... - You've got...!
Bye.
Lloyd Abbott had power in our town...
...and he didn't have to twist arms to get what he wanted.
He had a much more effective way of exercising influence.
He gave lavish parties with real Chicago musicians and fresh shrimp cocktail.
There wasn't anyone who wouldn't do almost anything to be invited.
Especially my brother.
We're going out to the lake tomorrow.
Sandy wants to show off her dad's new boat.
Why don't you come?
I...
I have to work.
I guess you'll have to write me a letter then.
What do you mean?
I'll be right back.
- Hi! - Hi!
- Nice tie. - Thanks.
- Can I borrow a Kleenex? - Greaser.
Got any smokes around here?
Ladies and gentlemen...
...I'd like to propose a toast in honor of our cause for celebration tonight:
The engagement of our daughter Alice to Mr. Peter Vanlaningham.
So is this Peter guy Alice is gonna marry rich?
Of course. He's one of the Atlas Steel Vanlaninghams. Pittsburgh.
- He's a bully. - So how come Alice is marrying him?
Because my parents want her to. And Alice is afraid of my parents.
It's practically an arranged marriage.
They think Alice has peanut shells for brains or something.
So they sort of suggested it that it was time to tie the old knot.
Then they sort of suggested that Peter was the one to do it with.
Jeez. No one could be that much of a pushover.
Look, Alice is the good daughter, Eleanor is the bad one...
...and I'm the one that sort of gets off the hook. That's just the way it works.
- Which one are you? - You mean which kind of brother am I?
You got me. The little brother, I guess.
- I like your sideburns. - Thank you.
You never really knew what was going on with the Abbotts.
And what the guests at the party that night didn't know...
...was that they were celebrating a very expensive shotgun wedding.
Alice Abbott was already two months pregnant.
- I'll see you later, okay? - Okay.
Thanks for coming.
Everything Jacey wanted in life the Abbotts already had:
Cars, money, country clubs.
But in the beginning, more than anything else, he wanted Eleanor Abbott.
I'd witnessed enough of my brother's social agony to resolve early on...
...that I would never let the Abbotts matter to me.
Three out of five?
Two out of three. You serve.
You wanna go get a beer?
- What, a "beer" beer? - No, a root beer. Yeah, a "beer" beer.
- Where are we gonna get beer? - The bait shop.
If you go in alone and nobody else is there, Ernie will sell you a couple bottles.
Yeah.
Jacey, remember that time I got my dick caught in my zipper?
Remember, in school? In the first grade?
Mrs. Hurley came to help, but I wouldn't let her...
...so she got Mom out of her classroom...
...but I wouldn't let her help me either. So I made her go get you. Remember?
Yeah. I remember.
We should own that company.
What do you mean?
Midwest Steel Desk...
...Dad's file cabinet drawer.
Lloyd Abbott screwed Mom out of the patent after Dad died.
Says who?
It's absolutely true.
- Mom's not stupid. - I didn't say she was stupid.
Lloyd's pretty smooth. That's why he owns the company.
- No. He married the boss's daughter. - He owns the company...
...because Dad's patent saved the company's ass...
...after the war, when all the war contracts dried up.
Maybe Mom sold it because we needed the money.
What money?
We never had any money. Money had nothing to do with it.
And that's why we're driving this car instead of that one.
Hi!
Congratulations.
- For what? - I heard you got accepted to Penn.
Yeah.
Thanks.
How'd you swing an Ivy League school like that?
My grandfather went there and I had the grades, so...
- It really stinks in here. - Yeah. I dropped something.
Yeah.
Me.
I just thought you and Steve...
Well, that's what you thought.
I thin